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Does your child have problems with bedwetting? Put your questions to a panel of experts here.

(82 Posts)
carriemumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 17-Sep-09 10:10:13

Despite being something of a taboo, bedwetting is a common issue affecting 1 in 6 children aged 5 and 1 in 16 children aged 8. Drynites want to create a page of frequently asked questions and answers on the subject of bedwetting which will then appear on Mumsnet. Please post your questions here by 27 September and the answers will be up on Mumsnet by 12 October. If you've found any great solutions to the problem then please also feel free to pass these on.

The experts who will be answering your queries are:

Dr Sarah Jarvis MD, FRCGP - a GP trainer and a fellow of the Royal College of General Practitioners (RCGP). She specialises in women's health and children, and is the author of Children's Health for Dummies.

Dr Janine Spencer - Janine trained as a development psychologist, and is now the director of the Centre for Research in Infant Behaviour at Brunel University, where she works with babies and children with developmental difficulties.

Thanks
MNHQ

colditz Thu 17-Sep-09 17:10:59

I must, must question both the efficacy and the motives of a bed wetting help site run by a company that profits from childhood incontinence.

Blackduck Thu 17-Sep-09 17:49:14

Agree with Colditz (and this is a subject close to my heart) I would be happy (nay ecstatic) to ask questions and get answers from experts at ERIC, for example, but not from experts where the fodder gleaned will be used to, essentially, sell products....

Ponders Thu 17-Sep-09 17:52:27

I had a long-term bedwetter & have no problem at all with the idea of Dri-Nites offering a help site - they were a godsend & I am glad to see that they now make them in much bigger sizes too.

I am surprised that the website encourages night time lifting of the child to the toilet

ERIC does not recommend this see p 11 of the download 'Childhood Wetting and Soiling: Information for parents and carers' here

DailyMailNameChanger Thu 17-Sep-09 18:32:43

I am surprised at this - mainly because it is fairly well accepted that things like dri-nites tend to exacerbate the problem rather than help it - and things like night lifting are again found to make a problem worse not better....

I will be very uinterested to see what the experts say and how much that ties in to accepted advice currently available vs the advice given by dri-nites themselves [watches with cynical interest]

Like blackduck this is a subjsect I feel strongly about and there are enough people out there already giving debatable "advice" without a product endorsed one!

Ponders Thu 17-Sep-09 18:46:11

Depends what's causing the problem IME, DMNC. Dri-Nites didn't exacerbate. The only conventional aid that helped in our case was desmopressin, & that not until age 11 or so; without Dri-Nites we would have had multiple wet beds every night for years. They were very tight by the end of that period though as they only went up to age 7-10 (IIRC) then.

(We did not lift. We did try various alarms, daytime bladder-training, & desmopressin at intervals from the age of 7.)

LackaDAISYcal Thu 17-Sep-09 19:49:57

I have a seven year old who has only been dry all night a handful of times in his life. We were using Dri-Nites, then tried lifting, but he got sooooo tired that he culd barely function, so we are now back to Dri-Nites as he is getting very upset at wetting the bed.

We spoke to a GP who was actually quite dismissive of us and said seven is too young to worry about it, even though a GP two years ago said come back if it hasn't resolved by age seven. My sister's DS was referred to a urologist when he was just over seven and thanks to the advice they got is now, at nearly 8 dry except for the odd accident.....but perhaps they have a better budget for this sort of thing in Scotland than they do in England hmm

Anyway, my DS is now desperate to have sleepovers, but is too embarrased to ask any friends over or stay at friend's houses himself.

So, I suppose my questions are:

Should we have been taken more seriously by the GP? Should we have been referred? And why does there seem to be a disparity between the age referrals are made by GPs in England and Scotland?

I'm also a bit cynical about advice from a company who is as someone else said profitting out of childhood incontinence and not sure I would use the website, but as I'm running out of ideas.....

Ponders Thu 17-Sep-09 20:05:09

re the sleepovers, daisy, from my experience I'd suggest your DS can do both providing

a) he uses a sleeping bag both at friends' houses & yours (sleeping bags hide a multitude of problems - I've had visiting children bring a sleeping bag & found it wet the next morning - nothing said on either side smile)

& b) he nips into the bathroom to put on a Dri-Nite last thing.

I'm in England & we had massive help & support from our school nurse from age 7 onwards but this was a few years ago now, the system/budgets may have changed.

Ponders Thu 17-Sep-09 20:08:17

And you know what would be wonderful, if Dri-Nites could manage to promote it - an anonymous head count of those who are still wet at 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 etc. I'm sure the statistics are massively understated because it is so taboo sad

Crocky Thu 17-Sep-09 20:33:49

Ponders I am so glad that you typed your message. I have managed succesfully up to now to not worry over the fact that ds has never had a dry night, but he is nine now and the panic had been slowly setting in.
We have tried desmopressin without any improvement at all. He is currently seeing a urologist and has tablets to help with daytime control but again this has had no impact on night time.

I would like also to see stats on older children for reassurance.

Wilts Thu 17-Sep-09 20:35:40

LackaDAISYcal - I would also recommend going to your school nurse, ds2 is 6.11 and still not dry. The school nurse was really good and after some initial work with her she referred us onto the enuresis clinic. We had our first appointment this week, I think it took about ten weeks for our appointment to come through from time of referral.

LackaDAISYcal Thu 17-Sep-09 20:52:08

Thanks Ponders and Wilts smile. I'll take it up with them again or speak to the school nurse.

Is Sarah Jarvis the doctor that they always have on The One Show?

LackaDAISYcal Thu 17-Sep-09 20:53:07

<wonders whether we actually have a school nurse> hmm

Wilts Thu 17-Sep-09 20:56:06

Well as long as you don't do what I did and ring the local community team and say ' I am trying to find out who the school nurse is' and was then asked 'well have you asked the school?' ummmmm no actually I hadn't though of that blush grin

LackaDAISYcal Thu 17-Sep-09 21:05:56

grin wilts.

scarletlilybug Thu 17-Sep-09 21:18:42

Would you go to Benson & Hedges for advice about stopping smokimng? Thought not.

Surely it's in the business interests of Dri-nites to make bedwetting less "taboo" - they'll sell more nappies that way.

Ponders Thu 17-Sep-09 21:28:08

slb, smoking is a choice (well, an addiction but still, subject to an adult decision)

bedwetting is not hmm

LackaDAISYcal Thu 17-Sep-09 21:30:14

I don't think making it less taboo will sell more product SLB. I think if you have a child with bedwetting issues chances are you know about and use them anyway.

And, as a mother of a child with a problem, we categorically DO NOT refer to them as nappies sad

TracyK Thu 17-Sep-09 21:35:30

What do you call them Lacka? I keep forgetting and calling them nappies!

Ponders Thu 17-Sep-09 21:47:54

We used to call them pull-ups in the early days, & then dri-nites

LackaDAISYcal Thu 17-Sep-09 21:53:11

DS calls them pull ups or pj pants as per the label. He has two much younger siblings who are still in nappies, so is a bit sensitive about the N word.

He's actually pretty cool about the whole thing though, and has told a couple of his closest friends that he has a medical problem with his bladder so needs to wear them at night. His friends seem quite accepting of it as well, possibly because they may well have similar issues?

Wilts Thu 17-Sep-09 21:57:14

Ds calls them nappies and so do we, but I don't think he minds!

He does not tell people he wears them though and I prefer that he doesn't. This is because of a particular incident when a 'friend' of his knocked on the door for him at bedtime and caught Ds in his pjs and pull up and promptly stood in the street making fun of him angry

LackaDAISYcal Thu 17-Sep-09 22:10:25

I was worried about DS being made fun of wilts and I always try and make sure they are in his drawer if he has friends coming over, knowing from personal experience how cruel children can be sad, but he seems pretty cool about it.

Thinking about it all some more thanks to this thread, I think anything that makes it less taboo is a good thing and the fact that Dri-Nites are available is a good thing. The fact that our local supermarkets have often run out of boys aged 4-7 ones is quite reassuring as it means we're not alone.

ninja Thu 17-Sep-09 22:25:40

I have a 6 year old who was dry for 2 years (3 1/2 to 5 1/2) and then started wetting again 2 months after her baby sister was born and has been for the last 10 months.

For this situation (a child who has shown that they're physically able to stay dry) what's the advice?

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