Mumsnet Talk

Hi I'm here, a little the worse for wear after our Great Boodles Bangle launch last night so excuse any typos

sieglinde

How far do you think your success is due to your looks?

Certainly hope not otherwise I might as well retire now as I approach my 50th

WorriedBetty

Hi Mariella,

Did you consider using naked men pointing their fingers towards their mouths and looking surprised to promote the GREAT initiative

Yes and then dismissed it as a bit silly!

JeanBillie

Ooh - just reading up on the story about women earning £500,000 less then men over their working lives.

What do you think - do you think you'd have earned more over the course of your career if you were a man?

It's generally accepted that women earn 3/4 of what men get paid for comparable work so the answer is probably yes. It's a bit embarassing for us in the UK that four decades after the Equal Pay Act we still haven't realised that goal

whiskeytangofoxtrot

Hello Mariella
Think you're fab. <tries not to swoon>

Let's get it over with - Favourite biscuit?

Also, MNHQ if I'm allowed a proper question - what has been the biggest challenge in your career?

Milk Chocolate Hob Nobs for normal days and if I'm feeling extravagant Milk Chocolate Choco Leibnitz

As for my career it seems to have taken an inordinately long time for people to come to terms with me as I am rather than as a blonde stereotype appearing in inspired articles like Burka Blondes (how do you tell them apart?) etc etc

AbigailAdams

Hi Mariella, great to have you on here. I just wondered what you think of the campaign to try and rid the Sun of Page 3?

I'm a supporter but I'd love to see men step up and do some campaigning. Fathers can't want their daughters to grow up in a world where women continue to be objected so why don't more of them speak up?

chipmunch

Hi Mariella,Guy here. Long time no see .I just wanted to say what a fantastic experience it was for me to cook for you onboard Irene over the millenium period while you were doing the article for the Daily Mail about diving.It really was the pinnacle of my career and i can safely say that you were one of the nicest people i have had the pleasure to cook for and your guest were great to.
I'm glad i left the boat as i see there was a fire onboard 2003 and the boat sank. What an experience that was though. I expect you are still mixing in those circles. I wish you well and every success in what you do and congratulations on the birth of your children. Are you planning anymore trips abroad soon? P.S Please say hi to your brother and anyone else that might know me

Lovely to hear from you-the food WAS delicious. Are you still cooking?

kittykitty

Hi Mariella.

In your Observer column this week you wrote that "All of us know that "having it all" was a Utopian dream dressed up as a silly media slogan, but sometimes we need to remind ourselves of that fact."

My question is: do you think that if we have daughters, it's our duty as mums to give them a more realistic expectation of how their lives might pan out when trying to balance work and home - or should they still be striving to 'have it all'. And if it's the former, what advice would you pass on to your own daughter?

I'm hoping that by the time my daughter is grown-up we'll have managed to poke a female sized space into a culturally male dominated working world where it will be a bit easier to manage the plethora of roles women find themselves juggling today. The whole structure of how the working world works was created without imput from women, I wonder how different it will look now that we're available for collaboration

WorriedBetty

In seriousness though, why is a 'decorative trinket' (thanks DH) sold to women seen as the best way to promote the movement of funds and privilege from one gender to the other. Doesn't this approach exclude men, who probably need to think about this issue a little more?

I think that by drawing attention to the principle of valuing women the Great Boodles Bangle gets a conversation going and also raises much needed funds for women focused projects-the bangle is available for anyone of either gender to buy who wants to show their appreciation for a woman in their life so certainly doesn't exclude men.Obviously a bangle isn't going to change the world but small steps eventually take you where you want to go just as well as giant leaps.

funnypeculiar

First off, I love Open Book, so thank you for that, Mariella. Not hugely convinced by the blingy bangle idea, but I can see there's something interesting in the idea.

Anyway, my question would be: Orange Prize vs Booker...? I know (think?) you've sat on panels for both - how do you feel the two prizes compare and where the panels approaches different?

I had much more fun on the Orange Prize panel because a room full of women is my idea of heaven but the Booker is certainly one of the worlds foremost literary prizes so I felt quite honoured to be asked. My experience is that the Orange Prize list is often more enjoyable to read and I it's a shame that Orange withdrew their sponsorship as there's no question in my mind that it's still important to seek out women writers, when Jonathan Franzen does domestic it's called 'state of the nation, when a woman does likewise it's too often dismissed as an 'aga saga' or similar.

UltraBOF

I'm sorry to have to ask this, but is George Clooney as funny and good company as he appears?

Yes

MoChan

A friend and I were talking about the differences between boys and girls yesterday, and how boys seem to somehow receive the cultural message that they can be confident, and believe in themselves, whilst girls get the message that they are to question themselves and apologise for themselves.

It's a sweeping generalisation, of course; but throughout my life I've met talented, brilliant women who seemed to have no self esteem, while their male counterparts have had no problem viewing themselves as fantastic, never question their own authority, never put themselves down (and verge on obnoxiously over-confident at times).

What do you think we can do to help girls and women grow in confidence, and do you have any thoughts on how can we break down the automatic arrogance and sense of entitlement that we seem to be instilling in our boys (without, of course, damaging their confidence)?

I think this is a very broad question, with a potentially long, intricate and multi-layered answer. I am not expecting a long, intricate and multi-layered answer.

I agree absolutely and it's a conundrum that I face personally with raising my own daughter who already seems to be developing those struggles with self esteem. I wish I had an answer and if anyone else does I'd be very eager to hear it? I don't think breaking down boys confidence is the route to go, I'd rather find the key to building up girls. A society where they are judged on their looks, their clothes and their ability to keep youthful for far longer than 'humanely' possible can't help with self confidence issues though and we need to change that and stop being so apathetic about it. Objectifying women isn't post modern irony it's offensive and reductive.

JeanBillie

Hello Mariella,
I always wonder - is the Hay Festival as much fun as it looks? I reckon those literary types probably like a drink

Now that SKY have me making four shows over two days I don't get a second to visit the Green Room and check what the writers are doing in their downtime. I certainly need a stiff drink (or five) by the time I finish on the Sunday!

mignonette

Mariella.....Susannah Reid - female (BBC Breakfast) is sent to cover the Oscars. Bill Turnbull - male- is sent to cover the US Elections.

Discuss............

I'm hoping it's because that's what they asked to do. However as I've said before TV does seem to be the last bastion of 1950's style gender stereotyping-the sort of women I meet in my life don't seem to be reflected on screen in the way that they are visible everywhere in real life. TV still hasn't caught up with what women want to watch despite the fact that the biggest available audience is female and over 50.

gazzalw

Mariella

You seem to epitomise a babyboomer who does indeed "have it all"? Did you purposefully concentrate on career first and foremost and wait to have children until your career was well-established, as so many other women of your generation have done? Or is that just the way your life has panned out?

You would be one of my ultimate dinner party guests. Who would your top six be and why?

Thanks

I basically waited until I met a good prospective father and it just took me a bit longer than most! As for dinner party guests I'll have to get back to you but President Obama would be definitely in there-hooray for his re election

kickassangel

Mariella, what's your favorite book? Which author have you most enjoyed interviewing?

Also, I have a huge girl crush on you. Would you come round my house and drink wine and talk about books until the early hours of the morning? I live in the US so you may need to stay the night.

Thank you (flattered). My favourite book this year is Kitty Aldridge's A Trick I Learned From Dead Men which had me laughing, crying and feeling every emotion in between and the good news for those with time constraints it's also only 200 pages long.

UltraBOF

Can I ask too how the problems are chosen for your advice column? I love your no-nonsense yet wise and compassionate advice- so much better than just telling people to have more sex <coughs> like certain others in the magazine advice field.

I wish you'd look at our Relationships board here sometimes- you'd be great . Does it depress you after a while though, or does it get filtered a bit before you read them?

Reading other peoples problems doesn't depress me it just puts my own into perspective

MariellaFrostrup

UltraBOF

Can I ask too how the problems are chosen for your advice column? I love your no-nonsense yet wise and compassionate advice- so much better than just telling people to have more sex <coughs> like certain others in the magazine advice field.

I wish you'd look at our Relationships board here sometimes- you'd be great . Does it depress you after a while though, or does it get filtered a bit before you read them?

Reading other peoples problems doesn't depress me it just puts my own into perspective

ps I'm glad you enjoy the column

TheBlackShiksa

Hi Mariella- love you- what do you think about campaigns like PETA and the FISHLOVE campaign that use womens (naked) bodies to sell their cause. I'm in no way prudish but I find such campaigns really hard to deal with. As a feminist they turn me right off because its like saying its ok to objectify women if it means people don't eat meat blah blah blah. Really interested to hear your thoughts on this.

Also how did you land the agony aunt gig- it is my life's aim to be an agony aunt one day- your column is the best by miles- i love that you don't suffer fools, are feisty but are warm and unbelievably wise. Do you ever take your own advise?

Anything that takes us away from the assumption that women are only dressed when they're wearing six inch stilettos and gobs of make-up is okay by me. I saw a picture of Posh Spice the other day in flat shoes and she looked so much better than when she's tottering around like a geisha.

mignonette

Another sneaky question- I am reading Barbara Kingsolver's new book 'Flight Behaviour' as I love her and love all her writing. Who is your favourite American author and will a woman ever be 'allowed' to write the Great American Novel?

Does Canadian count as the late Carol Shields book Unless is one of my absolute favourites and I'm addicted to Alice Munro's short stories-What does the Great American Novel mean-to date it seems to be an all male genre?

LineRunner

Mariella, as you can see I'm posting this at 03.36am, hoping for good news on Obama!

What do you think of the US Election Results?

Hugely relieved!

oricella

hi Mariella, they are lovely bangles and a nice initiative - but as a bit of a WatSan girl I would really like to see some more awareness about the unglamourous bits of gender rights and equality.. so my question is, will you be talking toilets sometime soon (the single biggest contributor to equal opportunities for school girls in many, many countries)?

I'm not sure the availability of toilets is the greatest impediment to girls education in the developing world. The notion that's it a waste of an investment seems to me to be the far greater problem

slug

Who were you targeting with the Bangles campaign? I can't imagine anyone I know being able to afford one of those.

It may seem extraordinary but we had to battle to get the price down to where it is at present. The CEO of Boodles said it was the "cheapest" thing they'd ever made. It's beautiful and 100% of the profits go to the Great Initiative but I appreciate it's not affordable for all. We'd love to find a partner to create a more affordable version so if there's anyone out there who can help, get in touch.

BoffinMum

Mariella, are you a member of the Fawcett Society? Do you think women have as much of a voice in UK democratic processes as men?

I use the Fawcett Society's statistics quite a lot and think they do a great job-and I do think we have a voice when we're voting but we should start to use it to promote more female politicans. With only 14% representation in Parliament it doesn't seem a very equal democratic voice to me and it's embarassing that we're ranked 56th in the world in terms of women in National Parliaments. I'm all for quotas to change the status quo.

kickassangel

Love Mariella. She would be one of my fantasy dinner party invites. Would it be too shallow to ask if she would drink red wine or white?

Must try to think of some serious questions, then mark this on my calendar

Would depend on the quality rather than the colour though some days I'll drink anything!

Thanks to everyone who joined in. I've had a really interesting time here. Mumsnet is such a great example of the power of women's voices when we join together. Keep up the great work and if you can afford it, buy a bangle www.greatboodlesbangle.com
Byeeee Mariella