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Miranda Hart webchat: Wednesday 17 October, 1-2pm

(437 Posts)
RachelMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 15-Oct-12 12:50:45

Finally... and in response to popular demand, we're delighted to announce Miranda will be joining us for a webchat on Wednesday at 1pm. In her first book, Is it Just Me? Miranda shares a wealth of awkward experiences that have punctuated her life, from fashion choices, through to first dates and getting to grips with the etiquette of spa days.

Send your questions to Miranda and share with her your own awkward moments in life. After the webchat we'll ask Miranda to choose her favourite and the winner will receive a signed copy of her book.

MaureenCognito Mon 15-Oct-12 12:52:24

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Northernlurkerisbehindyouboo Mon 15-Oct-12 12:57:38

My dds love her!

Miranda - my dd1 is also a Miranda. You make her laugh so much. I also make her laugh - particularly when I say - for example 'that's what I like to call a plate' etc.
So in order to render me a very cool mother (challenging) could you send My Miranda a wave?

Enough grovelling - question time..............do you use a handbag and if so what's in it?

nowit Mon 15-Oct-12 13:38:36

I luff her <fawn>

Miranda, thank you for making me rofl and giving me half an hour of pure uninterrupted by my darling little feckers laughter once and a while.

Do you hobnob with other comedians? Who is your guilty comedic pleasure?

LottieJenkins Mon 15-Oct-12 13:42:39

Hi Miranda. I love you in Call The Midwife. My friends call me Chummy as i remind them of your character. Im always quite clumsy due to being dyspraxic! I often trip over things and drop things. I regularly fall off my bicycle too!

TheSmallBloodiedFingerPrint Mon 15-Oct-12 14:00:16

Oh fantastic!! <over excited>

Miranda please tell me that the new series is coming soon and also that you and Gary will finally get it on!!! grin

bigkidsdidit Mon 15-Oct-12 14:06:42

ooh!

Miranda, I would like to organise a dinner party with you, Jilly Cooper, VIctoria Wood, and Julie Walters. Please will you come?

thanks grin

serious question, I am trying to get past imposter syndrome and anxiety at work. Despite myself, I seem to be doing well at work so I am trying to force myself to believe I am good. I read in the guardian you have had similar issues in the past and wondered if you had any tips on getting past it - after all, you are now an enormous success smile

tyvm

DameFannyGallopsAtaGhost Mon 15-Oct-12 14:09:36

Such fun!

Sorry, just wanted to be the first to say that grin

Oh dear god i am so happy - i love Miranda, my DH reckons i am just like your charector and calls me so - i love breaking out in song tunelessly grin. Oohhh is the book out now? My question is when is the next series out and are you married have children, desires too because i dotn actually know that much about you - infact im going to wiki you now as i call it grin. Such fun!

No no i have a much better question what have you dont today that makes you feeeeeeeeeeeel gooooood?

Please pick me pick me pick me .

Thankyou as you were .....

Bugger just realised im actually at work on Wednesday so defo pick me out of pity sad

LouMacca Mon 15-Oct-12 14:32:45

Oh fab!!!

My question is.....

Will you and Gary ever get it on?? <yes I know it's not real>

Northernlurkerisbehindyouboo Mon 15-Oct-12 14:54:30

I think dd2 might be jealous - Miranda - if you are able to send waves can you send one to Miranda's sister Rosalind too?

<<grovel, grovel>>

<<thankful dd3 is too young to demand a wave too>>

<<wonders if you get thrown off mnet for This Sort of Thing>>

Dolallytats Mon 15-Oct-12 15:07:09

My 4 year old DS gets very excited on a Friday when Miranda is on-his favourite bit was when your skirt got stuck in the taxi!!

Question: I read that you were agoraphobic in your 20's. How did you recover from this? I have been agoraphobic for the last couple of years and it would be great to hear how you managed to get over this.

Osmiornica Mon 15-Oct-12 16:08:46

Ooh, how fab. Hello <waves>

My question is - How much of your character from 'Miranda' is the real you and how much is exaggerated or totally unlike you at all?

PestoSandalissimos Mon 15-Oct-12 16:16:32

Hi Miranda smile

Just wondering what your favourite sandwich is? <<nosey>>

And what your favourite biscuit is? <<even nosier>>

Thank you grin

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Mon 15-Oct-12 16:35:56

Hi Miranda. Dh and I love watching your series. It genuinely makes us sit there and belly laugh.

I remember watching it for the first time and actually identifying with someone on the tv. That's one of the things I love about Miranda, I feel as if I could be Miranda. I am tall and the episode with the dress/transvestite made me laugh out loud as I was always paranoid about being mistaken for a man when I was younger and awkward about my height.

So after much fawning, my question is will you ever do Strictly Come Dancing? I know you are a super fan grin

GobblersKnob Mon 15-Oct-12 16:41:24

Oh my goodness.

<slightly overcome>

I think you are more than a little bit wonderful blush

<shuffles feet>

Anyhoo, I would love to know what you thought of The Bear/Mr Grylls in real life? Was he lovely or did he got on your tits just a smidgeon? And did you really sleep in that teeny weeny tent, or did you slope off to a posh hotel for dinner and a comfy bed?

Just so you know, should you answer my question I will literally explode with happiness (no pressure) grin

RachelMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 15-Oct-12 16:57:15

Don't forget we're running a little comp on this thread - keeping in theme with her book, we're asking you to share with Miranda your own excruciatingly awkward moments in life and post-webchat we'll ask her to choose her favourite and the winner will receive a signed copy of her book.

gazzalw Mon 15-Oct-12 17:22:52

Miranda, you have four fans in this house and two of them are under 12. Our Son (11) guffaws with laughter every time he watches your show and so do we.

'Miranda' really reminds me of 'Sykes'. Who do you take inspiration from in your comedic roles?

Oh yes and my wife is a real fan of 'Chummy' - will she be back in the second series? And do you have any further plans to act in dramas?

RobinSparkles Mon 15-Oct-12 17:29:05

Ooh, I love Miranda! I don't have a question but I shall be reading with interest.

I saw the book in Tesco at the weekend, may have to put it on my Christmas list. smile

PrincessPumpkinshoutsBOO Mon 15-Oct-12 17:38:21

Ooh Miranda, my question is after your Bear Gryls adventure, did you manage to combat your phobia's? You mentioned lifts specifically.

I have one moment of embarrassment that sticks out for me, I was an acting manager in a factory full of men, they decided they couldn't manage anything (even things they had been doing for years) without checking with me first, it was sort of a test to see if I could cope with them. So one weekend I was off, I got a call from a supervisor asking about a job, they couldn't possibly carry on without me checking the details first. So it was a lovely sunny day, I decided to go in, looking hot, wearing a skirt (usually jeans boots and a fleece for work) hair done heels on (lovely kitten heel flip flops) make up, designer sun glasses you get the picture, so I stomped through the factory looking properly pissed off, ready to go into battle with the supervisors about calling me over things they should have been able to deal with, I had worked out everything I wanted so say to them, then got a heel caught in the steel staircase, fell forward and landed with a massive bang on my knee, it hurt so bad I cried blush Needless to say I just checked the job and left as fast as I could sad

cocolepew Mon 15-Oct-12 17:44:47

Hi Miranda me and the DDs are big fans smile

Who are your favourite comedians?

cocolepew Mon 15-Oct-12 17:51:00

Oh embarassing thing, erm, on holiday in Portugal, when I was a nubile young thing. Went for a pose swim and got swallowed by a massive wave.
I was thrown about, swallowed gallons of water and scraped to pieces on shingle. I was deposited halfway up the beach, on an elderly couples tartan blanket. My bikini top was around my neck and I had lost my bottoms .

ChoccyJules Mon 15-Oct-12 17:57:30

Hi Miranda,

Do you actually know anyone in real life who says 'bear with' when they answer the phone? Sally Phillips cracks me up every time she says it!

smile

BatmanLovesHowlingAtTheMoon Mon 15-Oct-12 18:00:40

No matter how hard I scrub with the brain bleach, I always remember the time I was on a trip to France with my school. I was 15, the age where you're trying to fit in, hormones are abound, and James Kibblewhite from Year 11 just looked at you.

We were playing Quick Cricket on the beach, when a big gust of wind undid all the buttons that ran down the length of my full length floral skirt, leaving me in pants, DMs and velvet jacket. Humiliated. And in front of James Kibblewhite, who never did ask me out. [shame]

Anyhoo, my question for Miranda is: What would you do in the event of a zombie apocolypse?

cleeve6 Mon 15-Oct-12 18:22:16

Hello Miranda, we are all huge fans of Miranda on TV and can't wait for series 3! Also looking forward to reading the book. Q from my DD (10) - does it annoy you when people get you and Miranda the character mixed up?

My own embarrassing moment - came home one night drunk as a monkey after a couple of glasses of wine and forgot to close the outer door of the 2 doors to my flat. Only realised this when I threw open the inner door to pick up the post next morning - to find my very elderly next door neighbours chatting to the postie. Of course I was stark naked, why else would it be embarrassing?? blush

DameFannyGallopsAtaGhost Mon 15-Oct-12 19:12:35

Oh embarrassing moment is waaay easier than thinking of an intelligent question!

20 years ago, sharing a house with sister. Had a day off and took a long bath while sister out. Doorbell rang, so waited to see if they'd go away. Nope, more doorbell.
So wrapped a towel around myself and ran to front door - bathroom being on ground floor at the back.

Only made it as far as the ultra slippery laminate in the middle room before a foot went out from under me and I'm flat on my back, legs akimbo, towel somewhere behind me.

At which point there's a polite rap on the window behind me as my sister's boyfriend's mother is dropping off a present for her birthday the next day.

And she made it even worse by saying 'don't worry dear, I'm a nurse I've seen it all' when I finally made it to the back door to let her in.

DameFannyGallopsAtaGhost Mon 15-Oct-12 19:14:04

Oh, and then there was the time I accidentally vomited in the hood of the vicar's son's coat..

DameFannyGallopsAtaGhost Mon 15-Oct-12 19:15:13

And the dead mouse in my handbag in john Lewis.

I think I'd better leave the thread now before more memories break through the years of repression...

Badgerparade Mon 15-Oct-12 19:26:09

Hi Miranda - a hearty hello to you!smile. My son (12) has autism and generally struggles with humour but always laughs out loud when watching your show (as do I)so thank you to you.
His question for you is: What have you done today to make you feel proud?

ElectricSoftParade Mon 15-Oct-12 19:26:44

Miranda! Such fun smile. I am a recent fan and must watch the earlier shows, lucky me!

My most embarrassing moment was about 10 days after DD was born. I wasn't feeling quite right "down there" so went to see the GP. He instructs me to get up on the bed, pops his gloves on, lubes up and inserted his fingers into me and then told me to cough. I did and farted right in his face blush. He made a "erm" noise and backed up pretty sharpish!

The poor man is still my GP and I am sure he, as I do, think of it each time I see him.

cocolepew Mon 15-Oct-12 19:29:10

Oh, very good question from Badgers DS envy.

cocolepew Mon 15-Oct-12 19:31:08

You know the magazines you collect and put in a folder? Well someone sent Falklands ones up for my nephew.

On one page is my dad and turn over and there's Miranda with her dad. My DDs were totally confused.

mumnosbest Mon 15-Oct-12 19:54:01

i loooooove you! I read the jennifer worth books years ago and imagined Chummy just how you played her. you were brilliant! please say the 2nd series will be coming soon. Hope there's an episode about you and 'the ships woman'.

My most cringe worthy moment on a training course. I got talking to an older , well respected man and said "you wont remember me but I went to school with your son". "oh yes" he said,in front of my boss and colleagues "you're the girl who got drunk and broke my toilet seat". i'm in my 30s now, very sensible and i swear i didn't do it blush

my question: what's your most cringe worthy moment?

ha my question was supposed to be the same as Badgers ds but as you can see way down thread i totally cocked that up spelling typos and generally getting the words wrong - I actually sing them (wrong) words to my colleagues at work as well, dear god shoot me now - embarrasing enough for you? blush. Can i win the book / a book now?

ScarePhyllis Mon 15-Oct-12 21:00:36

Hi! I'd like to know what your process is for writing an episode of the show and how long you reckon it takes you to write a single one. I know you write it with other people and I guess you probably never stop tinkering with things up to the point of filming - but just curious to know how you approach it.

I think the thing I like best about your character is that she is fun and has fun, which you rarely see in all these dreary sitcoms about women who want to find a bloke. So thank you for creating a character that I look at, and think, "I'd like to be friends with her!"

The memory I still cringe at is when, as a teenager, I was persuaded by my parents to dress up (in one of my mother's jumpsuits hmm) as Challenge Anneka for a family-friends-and-neighbours fancy dress party. What the UTTER BASTARDS failed to mention to me was that she had recently been voted Rear of the Year, as I swiftly found out when I was greeted with cries of "Show us your arse!" and pervy arse jokes all evening long. My parents thought it was hysterical.

It was a toxic cocktail of teenage body-angst, acute consciousness of being ridiculously attired, plus rage at parental schadenfreude - and will be taken into consideration when I choose their nursing home. grin

Faverolles Mon 15-Oct-12 21:14:48

Hi Miranda smile
I'm not telling my 11yo son about this webchat, or he'd refuse to go to school. He loves you, and in moments of strop often asks that you could be his mother rather than me! (In moments of strop, you are very welcome to him - he is generally quite helpful and friendly. If you want him, I'll pop him in the post)

My question is: describe your perfect Saturday night?

My most excrutiating moment was at an ice cream van when I was around 16, and asking for a 69er. blush The ice cream man sniggered and said "we don't serve them here, love" blush

BettySuarez Mon 15-Oct-12 22:01:38

Miranda, like you my most embarrassing moments in life have tended to involve farting.

I once farted at a job interview.

So my question is, do you have any tips for dealing with poorly timed wind? And have you ever 'queefed'?

aristocat Mon 15-Oct-12 22:28:20

We love you here too almost as much as my Mother-in-Law who thinks you are fabulous.

I would like to ask you what your favourite book is at the moment.

I have had many excrutiating moments in my life sadly!

There was the time i had to act in a Classical Studies play at school, and was so relieved to get back behind the curtain, as my legs were shaking so much, i sat on the first available chair i saw - which happened to be on the very edge of the stage, so i crashed about 4 feet down on to the floor, breaking the chair and filling the entire hall with an almighty crash. Everyone in the audience started giggling and knew it was me because i didn't join the curtain call - but the singularly most embarrassing moment so far has to be the incident with the small dog and the Tampon.

I was on holiday in Greece and (TMI gross alert) having my period. I had changed the Tampon, wrapped it up and put it in a plastic bag under my sun lounger on the beach. There must have been some reason why i couldn't dispose of it at the time and i think i was looking for a bin. It was a long time ago, i can't remember! Anyway, there were some very cool Hippy Surfy types sitting nearby with a Terrier. I didn't realise this dog was sniffing around until it was too late, and then i saw it had disturbed the Tampon from the bag and was playing with it like a mouse, up and down the beach, and wouldn't let it go. Then it kept coming back to me and i had to pretend i was asleep. The cool people were laughing and i ended up shouting at my boyfriend and blaming him for it. confused

Moving on, my question would be : I am a huge fan of Eric Morecambe and have read you are too. I would like to ask what your most favourite ever Morecambe and Wise sketch was?

Hi Miranda. I love you.

I went to a posh girls school with many girls like Tilly and think you have captured them all perfectly in one character. Do you make up the words she uses or are they words you have actually heard people use? I have heard many...lots of shenans, words that you just put 'bob' on the end of. I still don't know why they do it but at 30+ it's an ongoing thing.

Absolutely going to out myself now. On a school field trip (at 14) I was put in a room with girls who were more popular than me and I was desperate to make them like me. They were running around the room 'breaking wind' constantly and loudly on each other and they thought it was 'hilair', wanting to join in I waited for my moment, jumped on the bed and lifted my legs up but unfortunately I had the beginnings of a tummy bug so the outcome was a little more explosive and I had to rush to the toilet. I didn't become popular and when everyone else got the shits they also knew where it had come from.

runawaysimba Tue 16-Oct-12 06:03:22

Oh! Kiwi fan here, debating whether to get up with the time difference ... Wanted to say that the episode where Miranda and her mother are in the therapist's office after the ice cream incident is one of my favourite half-hours of telly, ever. Cry laughing every time I see it.
I have blanked my embarrassing moments from my mind, but wanted to ask if you'll ever do what I call QI? With David Mitchell, preferably.

Pinkforever Tue 16-Oct-12 09:24:28

Hi miranda-my question is-how do you feel about not being the atypical sized woman?

ps-you are my secret girl crush and I would love a virtual kissblush

iseenodust Tue 16-Oct-12 09:28:15

My most unseemly moment was skiing and not being able to turn so going straight into a large pile of snow. I went in so far and so deep the weight of the snow on my legs meant I couldn't move apart from my arms. so I'm flailing like a turtle. A complete stranger came to my rescue and offered me a ski pole to pull me out. Very nice of him, only I was a bit heavy so he ended up grabbing me from behind under the armpits and wrestling me out.

My question is 'expensive chocolate in moderation or cheap chocolate in quantity, discuss'

Willemdefoeismine Tue 16-Oct-12 09:55:39

Hi Miranda, we love you in our house and I personally really can identify with your character in 'Miranda'!

My most embarrassing moment was when I was a pre-baby singleton. I was commuting home going up the escalator on the Northern Line and my short, floaty, summer dress blew up round my face (in the wind) revealing a great expanse of flesh and my g-string. I was svelte in those days so it could have been a helluva lot worse but for the fact that my next door neighbour (a fifty-something year old man) was standing right behind me. It taught me a salutary lesson about flaunting my assets in skimpy underwear!

jubjubbird Tue 16-Oct-12 10:07:48

O Miranda I do love you.

I must tell you how inspiring and useful your character's habit of asides to the camera are. When I'm in an awkward situation I do a little aside to myself ("bit thick"... "little nervous"..."what was that?!") and I feel slightly more normal again. Most encouraging.

My most humiliating moment has to be when I was doing a big presentation for my degree and I was excruciatingly nervous. So much so that I tried hard to think about something else while I was talking. Bad, bad idea, as in my daydream I noticed that my shoes were a bit dirty so I stopped talking to bend down and give it a good clean whilst saying "dirty, dirty shoes". I heard someone clearing their throat only to realise I was indeed still in the middle of a presentation on the stage, and had stopped to chant and clean my shoes and must have looked completely insane.

My question: Most comedians seem to be men. Is this a confidence thing, and if so how can we give our daughters the confidence to find their inner comedian?

ManifestingMingeHooHoosAgain Tue 16-Oct-12 10:15:42

So you are doing one of those things I like to call a web-chat are you? Sorry

I am just going to fawn a little if that's ok.

As a comedically short person, I love the slapstick in your show. And I really admire the sheer lack of vanity in writing yourself some really embarrassing scenes which really tap into the stuff that scary dreams are made of - public wind, being seen in your pants, the fake conference speaker which just spiralled out of control grin

My question - are you planning to do any more straight acting? I really enjoyed watching you in Call the Midwife.

BettySuarez Tue 16-Oct-12 11:22:09

iseenodust pmsl grin

aaaaagh Tue 16-Oct-12 11:32:45

Hello Miranda, I have just ordered your book for my mum for her birthday because I always think it's best to buy something you want yourself for your mum because then you can pinch it borrow it afterwards! We loved watching you go mountain climbing with Bear. My question is - How the hell do you manage to keep a straight face when you are filming? And have you ever felt the need to slap Lee Mack? I'm quite sure he's very naughty as well as being hilarious! And can you say hello to Sally Phillips from Katherine and Trevor Penton please (it's been yonky doodles since we saw her last!)
Sorry that was 3 questions!!! ;-)

DameFannyGallopsAtaGhost Tue 16-Oct-12 11:39:21

Hurrah, I finally managed to think of a question:

In the format of Miranda, you've gone back to an older style of acknowledging the camera, and the 'you have been watching' at the end is lovely. It totally works but was quite a gamble I would have thought - was it your plan and why?

noseyparker4ahusband Tue 16-Oct-12 11:51:22

Hello Miranda, it is lovely that you are doing this chat. (I want to give you a huge hug smile) I have been a fan of yours for years - in fact since 2004 when I saw you at the Edinburgh Fringe. You were playing a sidekick role to someone else who I have long since forgotten the name of. I can remember then saying that we thought you were much better than the other person and we are so pleased to see the success you are having in your career. You even stopped to chat to Myself and my husband after the show. Thank you for bothering to take the time out to stop and talk as we can imagine how hectic those show schedules must have been.
My question is did you get into acting to help you tackle your issues like the agoraphobia. I personally cannot imagine anything more terrifying than getting up on stage in front of an audience, how do you manage it ?

HappySnail Tue 16-Oct-12 12:25:49

I posted on Facebook recently that you should be available on NHS prescriptions! Miranda is the one programme all the family fight for a place on the sofa to watch - and I'm the only girl! You are brilliant beyond belief! Thank you so much for 'lightening the load' of life. Please do loads and loads and loads more TV.

Most embarrassing moment: on trip to London with my boys (7 & 9 at the time). Took them to the loo - big disabled one with HUGE door. Thought I'd avail myself of the opportunity at the same time. Mid hover the door suddenly opened revealing my 'all and sundry' to the people-packed corridor outside. Shrieks, squeals and closed door. 2nd attempt: once again, mid hover doors opened to same waiting queue in corridor!! 3rd attempt: mid hover, doors opened AND booming voice on the intercom: THE DISABLED something-or-other HAS BEEN ACTIVATED and doors open again. I look at my boys in desperation, standing - as I thought - innocently by the taps, only to discover they had been pressing the OPEN and SHUT door buttons at random!!! We ran down the corridor and threw ourselve into our seats in absolute fits of laughter. Never been so embarrassed in my life!

lirael Tue 16-Oct-12 14:20:00

Vicar caught me doing my homework in my underwear when I was 12. Dog had knocked a cup of tea all over me, I couldn't be bothered to change. Vicar called, dog tried to mate with his corderoyed leg, my mother attempted to preserve dignity by ushering him into the study where I was working while holding dog back with her own leg, only to find the door wouldn't open because I was leaning against it in naked desperation on the other side. Her entreaties to me went unanswered - how can you say 'I'm not wearing anything?' to a VICAR? Eventually she managed to shove the door open to find me cowering behind it in my navy blue knickers and vest. I have a vague memory of a bemused priestly face behind her but the rest is a merciful blank.

My question - which do you find easiest - acting in Miranda or in Call the Midwife?

PrincessPumpkinshoutsBOO Tue 16-Oct-12 16:33:00

Me again, thought I would share another really embarrassing moment, I just mentioned it on another thread and thought it might win me a copy of the book Miranda might enjoy it smile

I was in labour with mw ds2 and managing at home, there was a gush of water so we called the midwife (honestly we did, I could have said phoned the birth unit but where is the fun in that grin) they told me to make my way in and bring mw bag as this should be it finally, only to be told when we got there that I had actually pee'd myself blush

October1st Tue 16-Oct-12 16:56:02

You seem to like wearing Boden clothes in your Mirands tv series.How do you rate their "new look" and did you ever get to snog Tom Ellis?

Twosugarsplease Tue 16-Oct-12 16:57:43

Hi, we all think you are fab too !
Can I share my most excrutiating embarrassing moment...here goes,

On our family holiday in Ibiza...<picture the scene> I stroll out the lift coming down from our apartment, in one hand pushing my toddler in the buggy, in the other I have my older sons hand(he has the inflated crocodile under his arm)2 inflated rubber rings round my wrist, my pool/beach bag on my shoulder, armbands on the handles of buggy.

I get to the pool, choose our sunbeds for the morning, and set up...i get shorts off....towels neatly laid on beds, kids sorted out armbands on, sunscreen on, older son lowered onto his crocodile, little one picked up and laid on sunbed while I bend over to put his swim nappy on.

EH comes back from getting the paper, I pass little one to him and go off to get some drinks, I come back and sit down, feeling a bit uncomfortable, my knickers literally in a twist, I look down, and I have the bikini crotch on my hips, so where is the one little thin strap that should be displayed on my other hip ?????? Its underneath !!!! All that time !!!!! blush I just put my face in a towel and couldn't stop thinking about being on my hands and knees bending over into the pool when I put my son in, and changing little ones nappy ! I nearly cried.

Lollybrolly Tue 16-Oct-12 17:22:32

Hi Miranda, my 14yo daughter is a huge fan of yours and it is her I must thank for introducing me to you. Apparently your DVDs are on constant play in the common room at her school and you have an army of 14yo female fans that think you are awesome!!! In her dorm at school you get far more pin board area (several posters of you) than I do - I am a tiny pic shoved in the corner!!!

We all cannot wait for series 3 in our house.

I have lots and lots of embarrassing stories I could share. I am a walking disaster. My daughter says she thinks I have Miranda type tendancies - I have taken this as a compliment by the way! grin

Embarrassing moment: At the checkout in my local busy Sainsburys, being only 5ft tall I have to lean right into my trolley when I need to reach the bottom of it. On this one day I somehow managed to attach myself to my trolley by the underwire of my bra. I was stuck. The till lady sat staring at me wondering why I was leaning half in and half out of my trolley. No matter how hard I tried I was well and truely hooked onto the trolley. I tried to explain to the till lady in a quiet voice that I was stuck but she couldnt hear me (unless she was taking the piss). She made me say it several times and louder each time "I am stuck to the trolley". I held a huge queue of impatient shoppers up although they seemed to enjoy sniggering at my misfortune. They put a call out to the superviser and the first aider who eventually came to my aid and managed to release me from the trolley (not before putting their hands up my top). I then had to thank them, finished packing and pay for my shopping acting like it was a completely normal shopping experience - all the while I was in agony as my new distorted underwire was stabbing into my boob! I now shop in Asda or Morrissons.

smile

Hi Miranda. What is Mumsnet Towers like? Is it 'what you would call' posh? grin
We never get invited. sad

eatyourveg Tue 16-Oct-12 17:45:06

Do you all keep to the script or is there a lot of ad libbing?

BettyBristow Tue 16-Oct-12 17:50:55

Miranda, I'm a tall gal too. What can I use as a witty retort when people ask me if I'm still growing?

HappyTurquoise Tue 16-Oct-12 18:44:58

Miranda, we all love you in our house too!

Embarrassing moment:

Many years ago, when we were newly wed, I was out at a busy high street with Mr Turquoise. We were very hard up in those days, and I had been putting on weight so didn't have much which fitted me. All I had clean to wear for that night was a long, hideous bright yellow skirt. It was really the wrong choice for the bar we were in, packed full of Beautiful Young(er) Things all looking wonderful in black. So we decided to drink up and move on. Before leaving, I made a quick visit to the loo. When I came out of the cubicle, it did seem a little odd that the line of girls waited outside while I washed my hands and someone even held the door open for me. I looked around for Mr Turquoise in the crowds, finding it a little strange how the packed and previously pushy crowd was making way for me...I eventually found him outside where he pointed out to me that I had the end of the loo roll AND my yellow skirt tucked in my BIG knickers. I looked behind me and there was a long line of loo roll which tracked the route I had taken all along the bar and back to the door. Everyone in the bar cheered when I found out (not in a naice way). Mortifying.

Question for you:

I was listening to Radio 4 when your cousin Thomas, the plant hunter was on. Did you listen? (that's not the question) Interesting chap! Question: Do you see much of him (and the rest of your extended family)?

Loved the piece you wrote for the telegraph recently about clothes/beauty. Really struck a chord.

So my question is if you have to shop for new stuff are you an online or high street kinda-shopper?

AWimbaWay Tue 16-Oct-12 18:50:22

Why do you think Miranda works so well? To be truthful if someone had described the programme to me prior to my watching I'd have thought it sounded awful, but I love it and find it hilarious!

Apart from when I threw orange juice all over the head of the PTA whilst she was speaking at the AGM my most embarrassing moment happened many years ago.

I was a trying to be cool 14 year old going to my first house party. My father dropped me and a friend off outside the house, watched us go in then drove off. We wandered in through the kitchen past two 30 year old men, through the empty dining room, down the hallway to the very empty living room. We stayed here what felt like a lifetime having realised we had just walked into a complete strangers house by mistake and were now stood in their living room. Heads down we went back down the hallway, through the dining room, past the two blokes in kitchen without lifting our heads or saying a word. We then wandered the streets for about an hour until we found the correct house. I blame my father!

HoneyDragon Tue 16-Oct-12 19:03:10

Miranda

I will be happy if you answer one of the following (you choose).

Where do you usually keep your phone? (<<waves at Cocolepew grin>>

Did you ever drop a baby when you were filming The Midwife?

Would rather
a) Have a spider die up your fanjo
b) Walk out into a busy swimming pool having forgotten your bottoms
c) Deal with a child in your care publicly cascading runny poo down a staircase
or
d) Forgot to make yourself anonymous when you publicly ask for advice on your itchy and possibly wormy vagine?

Most Embarrassing moment: The only one that still makes me cringe was having my Boyfriends Mum walk in when I was giving him an early morning treat to gravely announce Princess Di was dead and she thought we should know. Consequently I cannot stand it and still stammer when people ask what I was doing the moment I found out she had died blush

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour Tue 16-Oct-12 19:10:02

Oh yay, well done mumsnet, I love Miranda grin

My question is, is it true you were born in Torquay? I wiki'd you but I'm not a mad stalker, honest and if it is true have you been down here recently? If you come down again can I buy you a drink? grin

I can't think of an embarrasing moment right now have tried to blank them from my mind but I have been enjoying other misfortunes in you're e-book 'no its us too' grin

skewiff Tue 16-Oct-12 19:57:34

Do you remember standing under that bridge in the London Marathon?

I think you stood under a bridge ...

We all watch you now (there are 4 of us) and so so much enjoy your show.

I remember you from the actors' centre and feel really proud of you for doing so well, and such excellent work all created by yourself.

morethanpotatoprints Tue 16-Oct-12 20:28:18

Really enjoy your show, its very rare I get a genuine belly laugh, these days.

I have too many embarrasing moments to mention, foot and mouth kind really.

My question, well 2 really. Are we allowed 2 if they kind of segue?

Do you feel that comedy is still mainly a male dominated industry and what advice (apart from don't do it) would you give to any young female wanting to become a comic?

atrociouscook Tue 16-Oct-12 21:37:12

Hi Miranda

Huge fan and I would really like to know if Patricia Hodge is based at all on your mother? I guess you can't say too much about her in case she reads this, but Hodge is so ghastly I would feel really sorry for you if she resembles your mother. And are you and Gary going to get it together before the end of the series - on screen or off?!

bexxx Tue 16-Oct-12 22:00:12

Hi Miranda - I must stress that this odd question is purely on behalf of my besotted 11 year old daughter - I am already suffering intense pester power for your book. She loves your show and would be thrilled if you can reply to her question as yours is her favourite programme. Abstrusely, you're right up there with Jessie J.

Anywaym she would like to ask you if you like chickens (as pets)? She owns some and loves them to bits.

Her embarrassing moment:

She went to an interview for entry to a posh brainbox school, and first off, the interviewer offered her a chocolate, which she politely accepted. Interviewer then launched into questions without further ado, so dd unable to eat chocolate and kept it in her hand. When she emerged just 20 minutes later she had to offer her tightly clenched fist to the interviewer to shake on parting, and then returned to the room where I was waiting. She showed me her open hand, and my brain couldn't quite comprehend how my neatly turned out dd had apparently emerged after such a short time having had some sort of terrible accident in the interview AND smiling! For anyone who didn't guess, it was just chocolate luckily.

GOSH! Me and the hubby LOVE Miranda smile Reminds me of myself lol
I am always making a big butterfingers of myself!
My question is:
Do you know anyone in real life who resembles Tilly?

LineRunner Tue 16-Oct-12 22:55:00

My embrrassing moment is too embarrassing to discuss. And it does involve real actual shit. So we'll just leave it at that, I think.

Miranda, my DD wrote to you for a signed photo and you kindly sent her one - just want to say a big thanks. smile

NZ fan here - I laugh so hard at your show !
Anyway, are the characters of Tilly and your mother based on 'what I call (couldn't resist tehe) real people ?'
Sorry if this question has been asked by a previous poster - haven't had a chance to read whole thread. So please bear with . . . (sorry !)

ripsishere Wed 17-Oct-12 05:49:48

I am seriously considering getting my DD up in the night to see this (we live in Malaysia).
I am planning now to buy her your book for Christmas.
Question. Have you ever met Adrian Chiles? <shallow>
Embarrassing moment. So many. So little time. Probably one of the worst was trying to drag a dwarf/midget out of a toyshop in Switzerland where I'd mistaken her for my daughter. I only stopped when I met resistance and realized her hand felt different.

ripsishere Wed 17-Oct-12 05:50:43

Serious question. How long did it take you to film the episode of Miranda when you were dragged around a sushi conveyor belt? I imagine it was a one take thing. DD always threatens to 'do a Miranda' if we go to one.

StillIRise Wed 17-Oct-12 08:54:11

Hi Miranda

Can't think of a question.

Bear with.......

StillIRise Wed 17-Oct-12 08:54:38

Or is that

Bare with....??!

StillIRise Wed 17-Oct-12 08:55:37

Thstd my wuestion.

Bear or bare?

And wine

Thanks blush

StillIRise Wed 17-Oct-12 08:56:04

Bloody phone. Bloody fat gingers.

StillIRise Wed 17-Oct-12 08:56:34

Gah!

We all watch "Miranda " although DH tuts loudly and sighs when DD and I laugh .
However , I know he likes it because ... Last Sunday , eating our nice roast I leant across the table to pick up my large glass of wine , and managed to dip my breast ( I was dressed obviously ) into my gravy .
DH snorted with laughter , and said " oh FGS , you're just like Miranda "
Perhaps you would like to use that in the next series ?
My question .... With the last episode of The Great British Bake Off last night , do you like to bake , or do you prefer Strictly Come Dancing ?

Besom Wed 17-Oct-12 09:07:11

Hi Miranda

I went in a holiday cottage with other families and spent the whole weekend calling this man 'Dave' when his name was in fact Colin. He didn't correct me. Adding insult to injury, he had once asked me out when we were much younger and I turned him down. Poor Dave!

Did you get a lot of attention when you're out? Do you have to go out in disguise?

I love Miranda, it's fab.

cm22v077 Wed 17-Oct-12 09:14:57

Hi Miranda, I've got a question from a Ms. Heather Small...

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

Saltire Wed 17-Oct-12 09:25:33

I don't have a question to ask, well i do, but I shan't ask it.

I just want to say thoguh I think you're fab and a great ambassador of us taller women (I'm 6ft)

cm that has already been asked. grin

Katiebeau Wed 17-Oct-12 09:39:57

Oh Miranda. I luff Miranda. Makes me feel normal(ish).

Most Miranda like moment was going in to the head of department's office to ask for my holiday form to be signed. He was on the phone and kept indicating I should sit down and wait. No I said (sign language and mouthing words) I will ask your PA, it can wait. I go to his PA who shoots up in her chair, shouts "oh xxxxx" and puts her hand over her mouth but starts to piss herself laughing. What? say I. She points at my blouse unable to speak. It is undone to my waist, full on white Wonder Bra on show. I am not small boobed sadly.

I retreated to my office for a few hours burning with shame. Head of Department knocks and asks if am going to join the team for his BIRTHDAY cake. He ignores what happened before. He says a few nice words to the team and then quietly says to me "I'm not sure I approve of your choice of present for me though" grinning. blush

Never mentioned again. I could go on and on. So many ...............

I really hope one of these embarassing tales ends up in the next series. grin

Shakey1500 Wed 17-Oct-12 09:52:40

I Bloody Love You and don't care that I'm fawning

Hope ^ that ^ gets your attention grin

*My question is*- I saw an interview where you said (along the lines of) that you were first and foremostan actor. Have you or would you do Shakespeare? If so, what role? Personally I think you'd do an excellent Beatrice from Much Ado About Nothing smile

And can I have a wave? <fawns some more>

HoneyDragon Wed 17-Oct-12 10:08:02

Still

I think you've covered your embarrassing moment with those posts too. Well done grin

I needed a larf this morning thanks

freerangelady Wed 17-Oct-12 10:25:22

Miranda, hello, I think you are brilliant. Lots more of your series and Call the Midwife please.

I had a Miranda moment yesterday. I work on a farm and yesterday I was greasing up the rolls (I know, I know, normal Monday morning for a Mumsnetter). A small emergency required me to run across our farmyard. Should add I was wearing a white t - shirt and jeans. Being pregnant, the bra isn't doing such a great job at the moment (tbh, industrial scaffolding would struggle) so I did the "hand grab" thinking, "it's fine, no one else around to see". Well, no one saw that, but for the rest of the day I had two oily, greasy dirty handprints right on my boobs. Made every feed rep/contractor who came on the farm chuckle I can tell you.

My question is, what do you do to make yourself laugh?

My DD was the first in our family to 'discover' you. I had never heard her laughing so much!

I think you're brilliant in Call The Midwife

One of my most embarrassing moments was when i dropped in on a friend who was decorating her kitchen . I said "oh what a lovely yellow colour, I much prefer it to the vivid green..that green is much to 'in your face' for a kitchen"
Then I noticed she was painting her kitchen in the green and the yellow was what it had been for the last few years! blush

Do you have a great big stack of signed photo's you could leave with MNHQ to give out? My DD would love one

vivianallman Wed 17-Oct-12 11:04:00

my awkward moment, is actually concerning miranda..in a way, my daughter had asked me to buy the dvd for her at christmas, when it first came out, i kept forgetting and then remembered and bought it from ebay...it was wrapped and given and appreciated, however 6 months later i mentioned it as she was watching another one and it turned out that the dvd i bought from ebay was not original, in the box was a sex tape concerning animals, i had to apologise as i had told her i had bought it from hmv at full price and not cut price from ebay.... a very embarrassing time...

vivianallman Wed 17-Oct-12 11:06:40

my question to miranda would be....is there another series of call the midwife...and is she planning anymore acting. i think she's brilliant

katipol Wed 17-Oct-12 11:07:33

What is your ultimate cringeworthy faux-pas? You have asked us for ours but is it a scratch on yours?

Mine was back in the 90s (when popper trousers were all the rage) I was a teenager at a mate's house when I was heading to the bathroom and these bloody trousers got caught in the door handle just as my friend's father was walking up the stairs. You can picture it...I walk on, the trousers pop all the way off (why on earth were they ever invented?!) and my friend's father got an eyeful of my wonderful Bridget Jones'!!!! Never been so humiliated in my life! Needless to say, I made myself pretty scarce around there from then on! I could have died with embarassment! (I would like to say that I no longer don such clothes and am more of a White Stuff girl now...less risk involved!)

My best friend and I have had a fair few Miranda moments, we luffs you! To sort out a very important argument, could you answer the following please:

If you were stuck on a desert island which of the following cakes would you want to devour? coffee and walnut, victoria sponge or lemon drizzle? Please don't tell me you hate cakes!

Lougle Wed 17-Oct-12 11:14:14

Hi Miranda, thanks for coming along to chat with us later (if I get to be here - my DD who normally goes to special school was too tired today so is keeping me company)

My embarrassing story:

As a 19 year old I was very naive, in fact, I can identify with Chummy quite a lot - socially awkward, a little liable to say things that are just slightly off-base when nervous, etc.

I was working in a hospital, as a care assistant, on a very busy surgical. We had a young, fit, firefighter who had been on "The Gladiators" in for some relatively minor surgery, but under General Anaesthetic. I mentioned how naive I was, right? So, this young man needed to relieve himself after surgery, but was too groggy to stand and move to the toilet. No problem, we have urinal bottles. However, the shift was really very busy, and I was somewhat distracted. I was relieved to see that there was a urinal bottle thoughtfully placed by his bed. I swiftly and efficiently pointed to the bottle and told the young man that he could use that one. He reached out, grabbed it, and swung it to his side. We both realised the error, when his whole bed was covered in urine from the full urinal bottle!

In my haste to rescue the young, very fit, firefighter who had been on "The Gladiators", I whipped back his covers to find him completely naked. To this day, I'm not sure who was more embarrassed. The naive young care assistant who had never seen a young man's genitals at that point (plenty of old men, but not quite the same) or the young, fit firefighter, who was suddenly exposed in all his glory. Needless to say, a lesson learned in patient dignity.

My question for you:

Were you as naive as I was at 19, or were you completely savvy?

Mumpster Wed 17-Oct-12 11:16:29

Oh lawks, so many awkward moments. I have to say that this is mostly down to my husband insisting I am you. So aside from my friend offering to share her lunch by saying 'do you fancy a roll' and me replying 'ok, in the bushes then' OR losing a heel on my shoe as leaving work and walking to the station on my 'imaginary high heel' (required balance and nerve), my utter top ten moment was this.

In New Look with my mother trying on shoes, I brought 2 year old darling son who was bored to tears. We were just trying on 'that last pair' when a rather voluptuous lady stood in front of us and bent to fasten a boot she was trying on. My son saw this as a chance for fun, ran up and smacked her full in the bottom- open palmed so it made a delightful noise. She turned around furious, Mum and I attempted to apologise but tears were streaming down our faces. It was only when we noticed she had a face like a recently neutered bulldog that we sobered a little, apologised and quickly left.

Would dearly love to win your book (although I should know it already, being you- I even have my own Stevie called Laura) but best of luck to everyone and can't wait to see your replies this lunchtime!

Consils Wed 17-Oct-12 11:17:26

How did you get the idea for the toyshop? I know (of) a couple who won millions on the lottery and, instead of travelling the world in luxury, bought a toy shop. Without having to make a profit.

I have taught my bottom to control farts. You sort of let it breathe in and out gently. And the best bit is that the fart is still in there so you can wait until an appropriate moment in conversation (usually something contentious) and let your response out of your bottom.

We were sure you were going to marry what I call David Mitchell. And it is a pity you are not on all of those hignfy etc shows more often.

It is wonderful to be able to watch a show as a family and enjoy it together. I could witter on and on and think you are great.

D0G Wed 17-Oct-12 11:17:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

slug Wed 17-Oct-12 11:20:25

As a teen in the 80s I saved up for a quite fab halterneck swimsuit. The neck strap was detachable, so you could tan without lines, though why my 17 year old self thought my chronically milk pale skin would ever miraculously go brown when it never had in the past nor has it ever done I don't know. But I digress. One day in the swimming pool, playing a bit of a splashy game and eyeing up the boys, a person swum past and handed me the strap which had detached itself. Alas not only had the strap detached itself, but being devoid at that point in my life of much to hold it up, the then strapless swimsuit had rearranged itself somewhere around my midriff. Unfortunately I was standing in waist deep water at the time. Cue a sudden duck underwater, a wriggle to hoik up the swimsuit, a frantic reattachment of the strap and an inability to look those particular lads in the eye ever again blush

Mumpster Wed 17-Oct-12 11:23:16

Oh and my question is (bear with), would you prefer a tall man who owns a little dog or a short man with a big dog. Anything under labrador size falls under small dog category, unless perhaps spaniel-ish. Love you lots Miranda xxxx ;)

TurquoiseFrankenCat Wed 17-Oct-12 11:36:39

Hi Miranda! I luffas you!

Can't think of anything embarrassing (I have no shame) but I did have to answer the door the other day holding a baby and wearing nothing but knickers and a slanket. grin

I wanted to ask what names you would pick if you had children (boys and girls options please!) <nosy> ?

horsebiscuit Wed 17-Oct-12 11:38:27

Hello Miranda, just to say I love your show and will definitely want to read your book!
I was going to ask a serious question about the lack of women in comedy. I also wonder why there are so many gay male comedians and presenters but so few gay female ones. But that all sounds rather depressing and worthy so... I think I'd really like to ask something frivolous which always puzzles me- when you fall over/ off a bar stool or whatever, do you fall onto a mat???? I always worry about you and wonder if you are covered in bruises!
Thanks for coming onto MN Miranda!

TheBlackShiksa Wed 17-Oct-12 12:03:25

Hi Miranda

Are there any up and coming talent on the comedy scene that you really like?

ScreamingManAndGoryOn Wed 17-Oct-12 12:04:49

No question from me, just an excruciating moment.

I was once caught by someone I manage with the gym hairdryer shoved down the back of my trousers to dry my pants after an unfortunate incident in the showers.

Its always good to walk into an office to be greeted by barely muffled sniggering. Really helps the management / team dynamic.

IfNotNowThenWhen Wed 17-Oct-12 12:09:58

Hello Miranda!
Have you ever been a bridesmaid, and if so, what did they make you wear?

One of my many embarrassing moments was when I was working in a coffee shop and one of my regular customers came in, all dolled up for a night out.
I said
"Oh! Lovely dress! It must be quite hard to find nice going out type clothes when you are pregnant"
There was a slight pause, before she replied
"I'm not pregnant".
After which there was LITERALLY a proper tumbleweed silence of about 5 full minutes, while I opened and shut my mouth like a stranded guppy and went "Oh! I...er..gosh...well, anyway, you look lovely!"
blush

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks Wed 17-Oct-12 12:15:37

Well hello to you, Miranda grin

My most cringe worthy moment has to be when I was living with my in laws whilst house hunting. MIL decided to tidy our (mine and DH's) room for us. She found my light up S-e-x t-o-y blush and announced to the family what she had found in her every so subtle way : "Oh Littleprincess, I found your Dildo. Wasn't sure where to put it so I left it on your bed. Although why anyone would want one that lights up is beyond me!" blush (It was brand new, still boxed - DH had bought it as a surprise for me the day before) Was definatly a "ground swallow me up" moment! Cringing just thinking about it.

My question is: As we are on the cusp of series 3, What was the funniest off camera (or blooper ) moment when filming Miranda?

TanteRose Wed 17-Oct-12 12:16:31

Hi Miranda!

Question: Can you locate your pelvic floor and do you do your pelvic floor exercises like all women should? <clench>

Embarrassing moment: Job interview - I sit down and nonchalantly cross my legs, trying to look demure...interview goes well, but as I get up to leave the room, I realize my left leg has gone to sleep and is completely numb. I literally fall to the floor as I can't feel my leg. I then exclaim, clear as a bell, "Fuuuck, my leg's gone to sleep!" and burst out laughing infront of the panel of interviewers. I manage to get up and sort of lurch to the door, half giggling and half apologizing...

Believe it or not, I got the job grin

corblimeymadam Wed 17-Oct-12 12:16:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IfNotNowThenWhen Wed 17-Oct-12 12:20:24

Have you ever met Heather Small, and if so, what does she think of your tribute to her (and her face on a stick)?
grin

Oh I love you Miranda!

Never in my life have I found a female comedien that made me laugh. You have changed that, I cry laughing when I watch you on the tv. I will definately be buying your book.

My question to you is : Who is your favourite comic? In other words who makes you laugh the most?

jsm1234 Wed 17-Oct-12 12:32:19

Hi Miranda!

I'm currently writing an essay on Miranda for my University work.
How would you say the construction of jokes are formed within the show? do they form naturally by making a joke out of awkward situations or something else?

An embarrassing moment in my life was my first kiss with my first boyfriend aged 15, I was at a friends and my mum was due to pick me up so the 'first' kiss needed to happen quickly (so romantic I know) we walked down the street and started to awkwardly kiss, someones car was flashing their light at us, turns out it was my mum laughing her head off, and when i realised the boy bit my lip! blush blush

Thanks! smile

thanks brew thanks brew

hebetrayedme Wed 17-Oct-12 12:34:40

Bear with....

hebetrayedme Wed 17-Oct-12 12:35:00

Bear with....

hebetrayedme Wed 17-Oct-12 12:35:45

No question just wanted to say it is lovely to see a funny woman on television. There are not enough.

BrianCoxIsEatingBrains Wed 17-Oct-12 12:47:16

No question but my DD (age 8) and SIL (age 28) had a bloke in Sainsbury's in stitches last week, doing a 'Miranda' up and down the aisle (the gallopy/lunge/walk thing you do on the show to make yourself appear shorter!)

We love you! Hurry up with the next series please (and please include lots of opportunities for Gary to go shirtless I am a perv )

LineRunner Wed 17-Oct-12 12:48:13

Miranda, Have you ever had to do dance lessons? Can you do 'jazz hands' and all that malarkey?

thatboysevil Wed 17-Oct-12 12:49:28

Hello Miranda.

I'd just like to know a little more about your influences and favourite comedy films??

A embarrassing tale,

I was recently on a very crowded London-Manchester train when I realised that I had to use the 'facilities' (you can see where this is going can't you?) So I mosey on down to the loo with DS in tow until I land in what appears to be the queue to get into Studio 54...?? I'm reassured by a besuited city gent type (vair pawsh) that, actually YES this is most definitely the 'spend a penny' line. Anyway DS and I wait our turn, it's rather fun to watch the various loo patrons attempting to shuffle out inconspicuously, avoiding all eye contact like they may have just bludgeoned a person to death in there. So roughly 5 minutes later and WE'RE IN, HUZZAH! DS insists on pressing the buttons to seal the Kubrickian bog of the future firmly shut. I know kids though (I bloody have one don't I?) so I ask him to come stand by my side as I do my business and I engage a firm but Motherly grip.

SUDDENLY DS makes a break for it, and before I can even register what is about to transpire and swear blue murder at the little s…camp….I am revealed like the proverbial "Bully's Special Prize" (a Speedboat in this instance), gurning, with Smart price mini briefs around my ankles, to a throng of visibly horrified onlookers.

Mortified doesn't begin to cover it.

Somebody eventually pressed the close door button for me. I'm fairly sure it wasn't DS blush...

thatboysevil Wed 17-Oct-12 12:49:53

*AN
Grrrrrrrrr

Natirie21 Wed 17-Oct-12 12:54:26

Everyone in our house thinks you're amazing and VERY funny but I of course love you the most wink

Question: In your comedy programme, the things that you do make you seem like you have strong self-confidence - has this come naturally to you or have you really had to work at it?

Embarrassing moment: I was with a guy I really fancied when a school (about 15) and he made me laugh so much that I whacked my water bottle down on the table with such force it sprayed all over me right in front of him blush.

I felt this was the least cause for blushing moment that I could face putting out in public.....

pals56 Wed 17-Oct-12 12:54:32

Thank you for creating a show I can watch with my teenage daughters & husband and we all laugh out loud.
My question, did you write the parts with spacific actors in mind ? How much of their interpritations/personalities do they bring to their role ?

JustineMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 17-Oct-12 12:54:56

Miranda is here and raring to go [so excited]... so we'll be with you in a min...

corblimeymadam Wed 17-Oct-12 12:57:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spiderlight Wed 17-Oct-12 12:57:12

Miranda, you are glorious and wonderful and I love you! You were absolutely brilliant in Call the Midwife and I can't wait for your new series of 'Miranda' to start.

My question: do you consider yourself to be primarily an actor, a comedian or a clown?

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 12:58:08

Hello Miranda here from Mumsnet Towers. it's lovely here. Lots of ladies. Such fun. Hello to you all out there.

Helloooooo!!!!

Faverolles Wed 17-Oct-12 12:59:11

Squeeee She's here! She's here grin

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 12:59:11

spiderlight

Miranda, you are glorious and wonderful and I love you! You were absolutely brilliant in Call the Midwife and I can't wait for your new series of 'Miranda' to start.

My question: do you consider yourself to be primarily an actor, a comedian or a clown?

Comedy will always be my first love but I suppose i adjust to what i am doing. CLown in my show. Comedian on panel shows. Actor on Midwife. I call myself a comedy actress.

TheSmallBloodiedFingerPrint Wed 17-Oct-12 12:59:12

<excited!>

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 12:59:35

belgianbun

Can I add a little something totally uninteresting but heartfelt?

Tom Ellis is gaw-jus darling! blush

Ooh isn't he just?! I got lucky there!

Marrow Wed 17-Oct-12 12:59:46

Miranda - Love your show and it's one of the few programmes that makes me laugh out loud. I can so relate to so many things on the programme - especially the singing and being tall and mistaken for a man!

My excruciating moment was when I was in the first flushes of romance with my now DH. It was a beautiful summer evening and we had driven to a pub for a drink. I had dolled myself up and put on a skirt for the occasion. I sat at a picnic bench whilst DH went and got the drinks. I drank pints in those days so DH came out with two pints, put them on the table and sat down on the same side of the picnic bench as me. Before we knew it the table had started to tip backwards and DH and I ended up on the ground, on our backs, stuck in the picnic table and legs in the air. Me flashing all and sundry to the packed beer garden!

We managed to extricate ourselves and were soaked in beer as our pints had gone all over us. No one was looking but I saw a lot of shoulders shaking. The worse thing was that DH suggested we left but I insisted that we had to "save face" and told him to order some more drinks which we sat and drank whilst we dripped in beer!

What's your most excruciating moment?

Marrow Wed 17-Oct-12 13:00:22

Oh you're here early!! grin

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:00:35

pals56

Thank you for creating a show I can watch with my teenage daughters & husband and we all laugh out loud.
My question, did you write the parts with spacific actors in mind ? How much of their interpritations/personalities do they bring to their role ?

No i auditioned people so didn't write with anyone in mind but as i got to know them it became easier and easier to write for them. They are all now great friends.

I am all star struck and don't know what to say. blush

corblimeymadam Wed 17-Oct-12 13:01:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Boomboomboomboom Wed 17-Oct-12 13:01:17

eek this is more exciting than watching Gruffalo on repeat and breast feeding a small clingy child.

Hello

My question - have you ever lurked on Mumsnet looking at posts?

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:02:07

LineRunner

Miranda, Have you ever had to do dance lessons? Can you do 'jazz hands' and all that malarkey?

I have never had dance lessons. Actually i did once at Karen Hardy's dance studios (the strictly prof) and she said, wait for it, i had natural rhythm and a natural line. I don't know what the latter is but I am thrilled!!

YY if you aren't a MNetter get signed up. grin

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:02:43

You are all so lovely. This is fun. Virtual group hug everyone!

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:03:14

BettyBristow

Miranda, I'm a tall gal too. What can I use as a witty retort when people ask me if I'm still growing?

Ask them when they stopped growing.

grannyagedmummy Wed 17-Oct-12 13:03:31

Miranda would your ideal man have to have the same sense of humour as you or could it be any man?

You need to go on SCD. You really do. it would be fab-u-lous. grin

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:03:51

Someone just went 'grrrrrrrr' at me. I find that exciting. I must get out more.

Iheardthatpardon Wed 17-Oct-12 13:04:02

Hi Miranda! Our whole extended family luffs you and your shows too!
thanks

My embarrassing moment (well one of them)
I was about 16 and shopping with my much younger brother. Browsing round the clothes shop when I realised brother not next to me, assumed was behind me so reached out to grab his arm but couldn't find it. Groped around what I thought was his coat to find his arm but no joy, finally turned round to realise that I had been feeling a man's crotch! blush cringe ... blush
Brother was a little distance away so I grabbed him and bustled out of the shop pdq, bright red faced and muttering apologies - didn't dare look up at man's face!

My question: Not my thread but I think we need to know your views on the matter: Do you think minge is cheap? Do you have a tried and tested minge recipe?

HoneyDragon Wed 17-Oct-12 13:04:09

<<sits with sparkling in awe>> blush

Listmaker Wed 17-Oct-12 13:04:35

I know you're a huge Strictly fan so what do you think of this year's line-up and who's your favourite?

champagnesupernova Wed 17-Oct-12 13:05:16

Hello Miranda

Thanks for coming on MN.

I don't have any embarrassing moments I am not too ashamed to share

Lots of MNers are saying that you're their girl crush - but who is yours?

corblimeymadam Wed 17-Oct-12 13:05:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shakey1500 Wed 17-Oct-12 13:05:28

I've never F5'd so much in my life grin

Fingers x'd for an answer to my question waaaay oop there somewhere.. <needy>

MrsJamin Wed 17-Oct-12 13:05:31

On the subject of dancing... Considering you're such a big fan of strictly, would you ever go on the show as a contestant?

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:05:40

grannyagedmummy

Miranda would your ideal man have to have the same sense of humour as you or could it be any man?

My ideal man would HAVE to make me laugh. Totally essential. Let's face if after a few years we'd all rather read a book than... you know... so we've got to laugh otherwise there's nothing left!

Who is Grrrring at Miranda? angry

spiderlight Wed 17-Oct-12 13:05:48

You answered my question <dies> I have a rotten horrible cold but that's cheered me right up! grin

Joey17 Wed 17-Oct-12 13:06:20

After reading your book (which i think is amazing by the way) it appears to me that to create your show you kind of use your life experiences, am i right?

an answer would be brilliant as i am writing an essay about your show for university!

Thanks

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:06:24

Sparklingbrook

You need to go on SCD. You really do. it would be fab-u-lous. grin

I would ADORE to do it. The only downside about it is, it's on national television. They are so brave to wear those outfits and dance live on tv. I couldn't!!

Iheardthatpardon Wed 17-Oct-12 13:07:19

hugs Miranda back on behalf of DDs as well and waves!!!
Helloooooo!
grin

(preens as is webchatting to someone famousse)

corblimeymadam Wed 17-Oct-12 13:07:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ok then. So it's ice skating or the jungle. grin

JugglingWithPossibilities Wed 17-Oct-12 13:07:58

Ooh, have they asked you yet - to go on SCD ? Would you ?
I'd love to see you do that !

DameFannyGallopsAtaGhost Wed 17-Oct-12 13:08:28

<<f5 f5 f5>>

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:08:40

Joey17

After reading your book (which i think is amazing by the way) it appears to me that to create your show you kind of use your life experiences, am i right?

an answer would be brilliant as i am writing an essay about your show for university!

Thanks

You are writing an essay about me. How weird and cool! I don't use life experiences - very few things in the show actually happened to me but i do use attitudes to things e.g. i genuinely do love a hotel room, or i genuinely do get annoyed at boys with their trousers down beyond their pants! But it is all fictional - a structured sitcom, a clown character. The one thing that was true was being called sir and getting stuck in a park (series 1)

Whirliwig72 Wed 17-Oct-12 13:08:52

The 'Whirli' household adore you Miranda! smile we now make fruit friends on a regular basis.

jsm1234 Wed 17-Oct-12 13:09:23

Hi Miranda!

I'm currently writing an essay on Miranda for my University work.
How would you say the construction of jokes are formed within the show? do they form naturally by making a joke out of awkward situations or something else?

HoneyDragon Wed 17-Oct-12 13:09:27

Oh please do SCD, we all promise not to watch so you can grin
Might be fibbing a bit

LineRunner Wed 17-Oct-12 13:09:29

I would love to see you on SCD, please,Miranda. I need to see your jazz hands. grin

TheSmallBloodiedFingerPrint Wed 17-Oct-12 13:09:57

How much fun is it to shove over Stevie and does she mind? I'd love to do that to sooooo many people in real life! grin

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:10:08

Whirliwig72

The 'Whirli' household adore you Miranda! smile we now make fruit friends on a regular basis.

Brilliant! Someone here at Mumsnet made me Barbara the Banana. Genius.

CMOTDibbler Wed 17-Oct-12 13:10:21

As a tall and um, stocky (I'm sure theres a better word for it, but I'm the sort who would previously have been desirable as a farmers wife, rather than tall and willowy) woman, I always think you portray yourself in your comedy as not being comfortable in your skin. Is that really the case ?

And as for most embarrassing moment, I embarass myself on a regular basis, so hard to pick one. But the time I had a prostate model in my hand luggage and ended up doing a show and tell at Heathrow security, talking to the staff about prostate cancer was interesting hmm

JugglingWithPossibilities Wed 17-Oct-12 13:11:31

How much have you read of us on here ?
What do you think of us all ? grin

Joey17 Wed 17-Oct-12 13:11:45

Thank you smile

RalphGnu Wed 17-Oct-12 13:12:26

Hi Miranda <shy wave>

I recently watched the episode of 'Would I Lie To You' you were on where you described trying out for the women's football team - I nearly soiled myself with laughter! Your sense of fun is infectious; I am always cheered up whenever I see you, thanks for that. smile

My most embarrassing moment...burping the alphabet whilst waiting for a bus after work at a deserted bus stop ( as you do), hearing a suppressed snort of laughter and turning round in slow- motion to see the bloke I'd had an office fling with a few weeks previously. As if that wasn't embarrassing enough, I was so flustered I stepped out in the road and stuck my hand out for the bus that was thankfully heading towards me. It was a large truck.

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:12:32

Northernlurkerisbehindyouboo

My dds love her!

Miranda - my dd1 is also a Miranda. You make her laugh so much. I also make her laugh - particularly when I say - for example 'that's what I like to call a plate' etc.
So in order to render me a very cool mother (challenging) could you send My Miranda a wave?

Enough grovelling - question time..............do you use a handbag and if so what's in it?

Aaah, a big wave to your Miranda. GREAT NAME! Do you know it means worthy of admiration. Seriously. Admire us please!!
Handbag - if you read my book, sorry, WHEN you read my book (!) you will read a chapter about Beauty in which I say i hate the notion of posh handbags. I have a 30 quid one from Accesorise and it's huge and covered in bananas and paracetemol, a dirty hair brush and all sorts of unnecessary and disgusting things! it's a mess.

LineRunner Wed 17-Oct-12 13:12:50

These are going to be great essays - 'As Miranda said to me herself, .... ' grin

jetstar Wed 17-Oct-12 13:13:12

Hi Miranda!
I remeber you from Hyperdrive as well as your more recent stuff!
How does it feel to know that you make people happy and brighten up their days?
Cuz you do! smile

BillComptonstrousers Wed 17-Oct-12 13:13:21

<does an excited wee> My 12yo daughter has worn out the DVDs for the box set she has watched them so much, I was going to get her your book for Christmas,is it suitable for a 12yo? And my random question of the day,

Would you rather play every instrument in the world, or be able to speak every language in the world?

<does an awkward curtesy>

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:13:31

nowit

I luff her <fawn>

Miranda, thank you for making me rofl and giving me half an hour of pure uninterrupted by my darling little feckers laughter once and a while.

Do you hobnob with other comedians? Who is your guilty comedic pleasure?

THANK YOU.
I have a few other comedian friends yes. Don't believe in guilty pleasures as whatever we like is right for us but I am currently watching Modern Family - US sitcom. BRILLIANT.

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:14:11

I need to tell you all someone had made me a fruit friend - Barbara the Banana and Justine (Mrs Mumsnet) has just eaten it!

mammamic Wed 17-Oct-12 13:14:18

Firslty - well done you - very cleverly getting to fawn over Tom and legally manhandle him on a regular basis - envious and taking note of your clever tactics - need to work on a script and get to know his agent...

My 8 yr old DD has been taking lessons from you and now, also very cleverly, has found a loophole in how to get away with telling me to 'wait' or 'in a minute'. She mimics holding a phone accompanied with 'bear with, bear with, bear with' - and we both just collapse laughing.

QUESTION Have you reached the level of comfort with yourself that when you look in the mirror you see an attractive, talented, powerful and succesful woman looking back at you? (I hope so - it's all true)

EXCRUTIATING MOMENT 13 yrs old, thinking I'm ultra cool and grown up and trying to prove so to fellow 'bus' mates at bus stop on way to school. I embarked on a completely fictitious story of how I'd finally been noticed by the (2 years older) crush I was obsessed with and we'd spent the whole evening together at the youth club and he'd asked me out and I'd had my first kiss with him and we were destined to be together bla bla bla, only for him to walk up behind me, having heard every word, and ask for a kiss from his favourite girl - I spluttered and died on the spot but couldn't refuse. I got my first snog and will never forget it from the boy I'd been obsessed with for at least a year BUT rather than it be the perfect memory, for a couple of years, it was horrific! I had to see him every day for the next year at the bus stop.

How brilliant is this? grin i have dropped a blob of Dairylea on the laptop in excitement. sad

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:14:40

DameFannyGallopsAtaGhost

Oh, and then there was the time I accidentally vomited in the hood of the vicar's son's coat..

I beat you - I farted in front of a vicar on Xmas day.

RIP Barbara. sad

Northernlurkerisbehindyouboo Wed 17-Oct-12 13:15:18

'Aaah, a big wave to your Miranda. GREAT NAME! Do you know it means worthy of admiration. Seriously. Admire us please!! '

Thank you so much! smile Yes I did know that - that's one of the reasons we picked it smile

OneMoreGo Wed 17-Oct-12 13:15:19

Miranda, what was it like meeting Bear Grylls and going camping in the mountains and snow and stuff? I thought you were amazing in that programme grin

crazymum53 Wed 17-Oct-12 13:15:32

We love your comedy show but also think you are great in Call the Midwife too. My question is which do you prefer - being in your own show or acting as Chummy in CTW?

D0G Wed 17-Oct-12 13:15:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:15:53

champagnesupernova

Hello Miranda

Thanks for coming on MN.

I don't have any embarrassing moments I am not too ashamed to share

Lots of MNers are saying that you're their girl crush - but who is yours?

How very lovely to be girl crushed upon. Mine is probably Jennifer Saunders or Ellen.

JustineMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 17-Oct-12 13:16:02

MirandaHart

I need to tell you all someone had made me a fruit friend - Barbara the Banana and Justine (Mrs Mumsnet) has just eaten it!

blush It wasn't me guv!

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:16:20

I should add that I gave Justine full approval to eat Barbara. I wanted her to go to a good home before she rotted and lost her looks.

Boomboomboomboom Wed 17-Oct-12 13:16:50

Is that what counts for hospitality at MNHQ? Justine we are all very very dissapointed in you...smile

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:17:03

OneMoreGo

Miranda, what was it like meeting Bear Grylls and going camping in the mountains and snow and stuff? I thought you were amazing in that programme grin

Bear is so lovely. Really encouraging and kind and supportive. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't have dared get in to that TERRIFYING helicopter.

DameFannyGallopsAtaGhost Wed 17-Oct-12 13:17:18

Eek! I've been quoted! grin

Twosugarsplease Wed 17-Oct-12 13:17:22

Hello hello ??? Have I missed much ? Literally ran home from nursery with my little one, dinner in micro, floors washed while it's cooking,ate dinner, gave little one ice cream, and relax......hi Miranda ! smile

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:17:40

There is now an Adriana Apple in the house. I am not sure what's going to happen to it.

HoneyDragon Wed 17-Oct-12 13:17:46

envy Justine

You got to at a fruit friend and are denying it?

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:17:57

PestoSandalissimos

Hi Miranda smile

Just wondering what your favourite sandwich is? <<nosey>>

And what your favourite biscuit is? <<even nosier>>

Thank you grin

Weirdly, I don't like sandwiches but if i had to Pastrami and Gherkin. My favourite biscuit is custard cream because it's good for dipping.

CJCregg Wed 17-Oct-12 13:18:37

I have no questions.

I am in awe.

And laughing a lot, though obviously still in a reverential way.

I fucking LOVE you, Miranda grin

My DP likes to 'Mirandarise' Game of Thrones eg 'Ned Stark's just received What I Call a raven'.

Only funny if you know GoT

So is that all you have been offered? A Banana? shock tell them to get the cakes out.grin

Boomboomboomboom Wed 17-Oct-12 13:18:44

Oooh a cross post with Miranda smile

Sorry for being all accusatory Justine...

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:18:52

ChoccyJules

Hi Miranda,

Do you actually know anyone in real life who says 'bear with' when they answer the phone? Sally Phillips cracks me up every time she says it!

smile

I have started saying bear with. It's really useful. Sally gets called the bear with lady in the street she told me.

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:19:28

We are now all talking about girl crushes. Who are yours?

nipitinthebud Wed 17-Oct-12 13:19:33

I loved seeing you Bear Grylls' show. Was it you who asked to be on the show as a fan, or did he approach you? Was such a classic episode!

ZombTEE Wed 17-Oct-12 13:19:48

JUSTINE!! How could you?!?!

This may be worse than Biscuit Gate.....

::waves to Miranda::

I don't have a question, but I luffs you and so does my husband and we luffs your show.

I am trying to think of an embarrassing moment but I am not well and really need to go lie down...

OMG hide Adriana before someone gets the corer out Miranda. <worries>

middleagedspread Wed 17-Oct-12 13:20:20

I loved you in CTMW
Will there be another series & will they be lots of little Chummies with an over bearing Granny?

mammamic Wed 17-Oct-12 13:21:12

Hayley Atwell

JustineMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 17-Oct-12 13:21:25

ZombTEE

*JUSTINE*!! How could you?!?!

This may be worse than Biscuit Gate.....

::waves to Miranda::

I don't have a question, but I luffs you and so does my husband and we luffs your show.

I am trying to think of an embarrassing moment but I am not well and really need to go lie down...

I'll get my coat...

ChessieFL Wed 17-Oct-12 13:21:38

Does Heather Small watch 'Miranda'

P.S I love you!!!!

ZombTEE Wed 17-Oct-12 13:21:56

Oops, cross post... blush

corblimeymadam Wed 17-Oct-12 13:22:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

A lot of us have Sue Perkins as our girl crush Miranda but obviously that will change as of today. smile

EduCated Wed 17-Oct-12 13:22:40

Ooh, ooh, hello! I've sneaked onto MN at work (iPad is behind a v boring looking textbook)

Question. Um. What advice would you give to women/girls trying to get into comedy? It's still a male dominated environment and that must be quite daunting at times.

Oh, and I luffs you smile As do my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins... It's nice to have a program that we can all watch together smile

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:22:47

Consils

How did you get the idea for the toyshop? I know (of) a couple who won millions on the lottery and, instead of travelling the world in luxury, bought a toy shop. Without having to make a profit.

I have taught my bottom to control farts. You sort of let it breathe in and out gently. And the best bit is that the fart is still in there so you can wait until an appropriate moment in conversation (usually something contentious) and let your response out of your bottom.

We were sure you were going to marry what I call David Mitchell. And it is a pity you are not on all of those hignfy etc shows more often.

It is wonderful to be able to watch a show as a family and enjoy it together. I could witter on and on and think you are great.

But farting is SO funny - don't control them! But the response thing is genius.
As for the toyshop - it was really a joke shop to start with and now a kind of gift shop. I wanted something joyful that suited the character. Playful and that felt right.

D0G Wed 17-Oct-12 13:23:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:23:29

ChessieFL

Does Heather Small watch 'Miranda'

P.S I love you!!!!

We did a Comic Relief sketch with her - it's on YouTube and yes, i think she watches it and likes it. Phew! We love her.

That's true EduCated. My 13 year old DS watches and that is praise indeed. And no effing and jeffing to worry about.

I have just txt both dd's to tell them I talking to Miranda on MN grin

We all love you here, and often use Mirandaisms, as my kids call them.

Only the other day, ds (9) burst in on me in the bath and shouted 'you wee'd in a ball pool', and then off he went again.

HoneyDragon Wed 17-Oct-12 13:23:52

TbF Goldie Hawn only got a Egg Sandwich (with Salad Cream), times must be tough for HQ or all the petty cash has gone on Gin again

Twosugarsplease Wed 17-Oct-12 13:24:01

Miranda, I think it would be soooo funny if Miranda had a baby one day ? grin

JugglingWithPossibilities Wed 17-Oct-12 13:24:25

I don't like sandwiches either Miranda - except toasted ones.
I'm going to ask for a sandwich toaster for Christmas I think -
What would you like to get for Christmas ? smile

- I'd like a nice copy of your new book too - it sounds great ! - definitely something else for my Christmas list.

Do you make a list of desirable presents, or would that be terribly vulgar ?!

ZombTEE Wed 17-Oct-12 13:24:30

Sorry, Justine. I over reacted.

Please don't go.... ::begs forgiveness::

::Waits for account to be deleted::

OneMoreGo Wed 17-Oct-12 13:24:38

Thank you for answering my question about Bear grin You are my number one girl crush but also crushing on Nicola Walker (Ruth in Spooks) and Anna Maxwell Martin. <sigh>
On a somewhat related note, I had BearWith as my username for a while on here... It makes me giggle every time Sally Phillips says it.

I worry about whether your joke shop makes a profit TBH. grin

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:24:51

LouMacca

Oh fab!!!

My question is.....

Will you and Gary ever get it on?? <yes I know it's not real>

Well I couldn't possibly reveal that! You'll have to watch the 3rd series. Which starts around Christmas. I will say this - there is some love in this series but they may not be saying what you want to hear. Aren't I a tease?!

QueenFee Wed 17-Oct-12 13:24:54

Hi Miranda.
I have met a lot of real life friends on Mumsnet.
How did you meet your best friend(s)?

Love the show!

naughtylittlegalloper Wed 17-Oct-12 13:25:17

Hi Miranda.
Came to see you filming episode 5 the other day - awesome, LOVED it!!!
What does Peggy do when you are out all day and filimng etc...?
Talking of vicers, i swore in front of one the other day, fortunately she told me she was sure God would have agreed with me, phew-ingtons!
Kisses from my sausage dog to your Peggy xx

shrinkingnora Wed 17-Oct-12 13:25:18

My husband and I run our own business and I like to ask him the Heather Small question at regular intervals (just to be sure he is getting on with his work).

My question is this:

If you could have any job at all what would it be? And you're not allowed to say comedy actress.

I think Gary will get it together with Miranda's Mum. Such fun. grin

Shinyshoes1 Wed 17-Oct-12 13:26:37

Hi Miranda !

I luff luff luff you ... Now that I've pulled myself together my question is

What would be your idea of a perfect evening in , do you get many of them ? what soaps or film would you watch , what kind of snacks would you eat ??
I know one question only but it kind of is :-)

TheSmallBloodiedFingerPrint Wed 17-Oct-12 13:26:50

Other htna you Miranda, my girl crush would have to be Ros from Spooks.

OctaviaBrennan Wed 17-Oct-12 13:27:09

Hi Miranda. DH and I got surprise audience tickets to watch you filming Miranda at BBC so we genuinely believe we "discovered" you and that the show's huge success and popularity is simply down to us telling people how wonderful you are.

My question - is your real life mum even a tiny bit like your on-screen one??

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:27:12

D0G

Oh I finally have a question. If you had three wishes what would they be?

please please pick me <<desperate>>

Thank you grin

1. That adults reclaim the gallop
2. That women stop feeling bad about their looks and celebrate their own particular, unique beauty.
3. That animals could talk!

celticlass Wed 17-Oct-12 13:27:33

Hi Miranda :D So cool,anyway my question is do you feel you learned anything playing a midwife in call the midwife,like if you were stuck in a lift with a woman in labour what would you do?

A.Say it's ok,i know what i'm doing!
B. Hold her hand and feebly say now,now
C.Scream for the emergency services and try to climb out the top of elevator :D

Dodgyissue Wed 17-Oct-12 13:27:47

I have a slightly scandalous dilemma here, which I think you are just the person to help me with!

Later on today, a work colleague of mine is doing a webchat for another major website in response to a controversial article she wrote 'exposing' aspects of our work (sorry, don't think I can be more specific than that). The thing is, because I work with her, I know it's all lies. Our job is far more boring than she's making out.

Should I, or should I not, log in under an unidentifiable name and ask her awkward questions?

Ohhhh Miranda. Oh how you are worshipped in our house. Second only to Kevin and Mr. Fawlty.

Umm.....how would Miranda react to being called the female Mr. Bean? Would Miranda appreciate that?

I have a bit of a crush on you too, have to admit!

ZombTEE Wed 17-Oct-12 13:28:12

My girl crush is Scarlett Johansson, especially when she's playing Black Widow...

KatyCustard Wed 17-Oct-12 13:28:15

Hi Miranda,

We LOVE you in this house. My eight year old daughter is allowed to watch an episode for a treat and she loves quoting you ("I'm going to do my what I call 'homework' Mummy"...!)

My question is this- I worked with your sister Alice YEARS ago when she was in Twelth Night at Perth Theatre. Please will you say hello from Beth? (ASM at Perth Theatre 2002!)

Proper question now: Your character is an only child in "Miranda" but do you use sisterly escapades from real life when writing the high jinx that you and Stevie get up to?

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:28:40

cocolepew

Hi Miranda me and the DDs are big fans smile

Who are your favourite comedians?

Favourite comedian nay hero is Eric Morecambe.
Others - French and Saunders, Tommy Cooper, Ellen, Joyce Grenfell. Oh, loads.

D0G Wed 17-Oct-12 13:29:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CJCregg Wed 17-Oct-12 13:29:50

Actually I do have a question grin

The episode where Miranda and her mum were both at the therapist's was brilliant and painfully funny. It was a bit of a change of direction - which I loved. Was it difficult to do, because I'm convinced there must have been some of your own ishoos with your mum in there?

Sorry if that's too cheeky and personal. Did I say how much I love you? grin

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:29:51

GobblersKnob

Oh my goodness.

<slightly overcome>

I think you are more than a little bit wonderful blush

<shuffles feet>

Anyhoo, I would love to know what you thought of The Bear/Mr Grylls in real life? Was he lovely or did he got on your tits just a smidgeon? And did you really sleep in that teeny weeny tent, or did you slope off to a posh hotel for dinner and a comfy bed?

Just so you know, should you answer my question I will literally explode with happiness (no pressure) grin

Bear and I really did sleep in the tiniest tent in the world. And may i share - his wind is DISGUSTING. I had to open the tent flap and it was minus 15 outside! There were no comforts at all.

Boomboomboomboom Wed 17-Oct-12 13:29:52

Arrgggghh as I have been on here my two year old has emptied the automatic liquid soap dispenser and has rubbed the soap all over herself.

So, do you think you would be as good a parent as me would you like one day to be a mum/mother/mummy and if so do you think you would be a cool Mum or an uber embarassing one?

Has the gallop not been claimed all along?.....sad

JustineMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 17-Oct-12 13:30:43

Sneaks in a quick question from my daughters (the Barbara-eaters)
"Do you have a real-life Stevie in your life?"

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:30:51

CJCregg

Actually I do have a question grin

The episode where Miranda and her mum were both at the therapist's was brilliant and painfully funny. It was a bit of a change of direction - which I loved. Was it difficult to do, because I'm convinced there must have been some of your own ishoos with your mum in there?

Sorry if that's too cheeky and personal. Did I say how much I love you? grin

Am pleased to say all fictional but based on issues that perhaps we could all have with our parents. It was very different to write and in some ways easier because i wasn't constricted by the technicalities of a full sitcom story (which are very tough to write).

RalphGnu Wed 17-Oct-12 13:32:18

I live in Morecambe! I shall go along and give Eric's statue a hug from you later. grin

infamyinfamy Wed 17-Oct-12 13:32:29

I would like to ask Miranda: who are her main comedy influences?

My most embarressing moment was when, as a child, I thought it fun to put a bead up my nose then blow it out! Worked the first few times - giggles ensued - until it got stuck up my nose & I had to get it removed at a medical centre!
I see so many of my mishaps in Mirandas show as I am sure many of her fans do!!

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:32:44

BatmanLovesHowlingAtTheMoon

No matter how hard I scrub with the brain bleach, I always remember the time I was on a trip to France with my school. I was 15, the age where you're trying to fit in, hormones are abound, and James Kibblewhite from Year 11 just looked at you.

We were playing Quick Cricket on the beach, when a big gust of wind undid all the buttons that ran down the length of my full length floral skirt, leaving me in pants, DMs and velvet jacket. Humiliated. And in front of James Kibblewhite, who never did ask me out. [shame]

Anyhoo, my question for Miranda is: What would you do in the event of a zombie apocolypse?

Bless you for your embarrassing story. Worth it for making people laugh eh?!
As for Zombie apocolypse - I would freak the hell out!

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:33:43

quirrelquarrel

Ohhhh Miranda. Oh how you are worshipped in our house. Second only to Kevin and Mr. Fawlty.

Umm.....how would Miranda react to being called the female Mr. Bean? Would Miranda appreciate that?

I have a bit of a crush on you too, have to admit!

Who's Kevin? Am very happy to be second to Mr Fawlty but i need to know who Kevin is!
Female Mr Bean is nothing but a compliment although i try not to go too much that way in the sticom to base it in some reality.

Miranda has no Zombie plan. shock Put that on the top of your to-do list.

naughtylittlegalloper Wed 17-Oct-12 13:34:03

I have your book (extended Kindle one with extra vids included, genius and very modern). Did you write this as you 'Miranda' or a bit of sitcom 'Miranda'?

XXX

CJCregg Wed 17-Oct-12 13:34:14

Thanks, Merm. I love you even more now blush

I love it when sitcom strays off the prescribed path into darker areas.

colditz Wed 17-Oct-12 13:34:16

You're lovely, you are. You make me feel really normal, and you have a nationwide appeal to the Fakers-Of-Big-Girlness that many of us are.

<<shameless sycophant>>

Do you do the bed warming dance in RL ??

We all do it here now lol.

ZombTEE Wed 17-Oct-12 13:34:32

Miranda, we'll pick you up in the HMS Mumsnet (is that it's name?) that we will be stealing and saving ourself on.

We have a Zombie plan, you see.

And lots of OFRS (Oh F... Ruck Sack).

Yes quirrel who is Kevin? confused

PestoSandalissimos Wed 17-Oct-12 13:34:38

Ooooh!!! Miranda you like same biscuits as us grin

<<pleased to have somehting in common>>

mumat39 Wed 17-Oct-12 13:34:44

Hi Miranda.
Just wanted to say, love you and love your show and can't wait to read your book. Looking forward to the new series at Christmas.

My cousin and her two teenage daughters say that when they watch Miranda, that the character reminds them of me. That's the biggest compliment I have ever been paid.

When i first watched the first series i recorded it and watched the episodes loads as they're so well acted (looks to the camera and mouths 'I thank you')' and so cleverly written. i did the same with the second series and will again with the third.

That's it really. A big thank you for bringing Miranda to the screen. I can relate to her in so many ways that it helps make me feel more normal. smile

Take care and good luck with the book and the series.
Xxxxx

HarrietVane Wed 17-Oct-12 13:34:50

Oooh, me and DH love Miranda! (And I love Tom Ellis, don't think DH is with me on that one so much...)

My question: what's your favourite book? Do you read funny books or do you relax by reading miserable things for a break?!

colditz Wed 17-Oct-12 13:34:53

And you were just wonderful in Hyperdrive

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:35:14

JugglingWithPossibilities

I don't like sandwiches either Miranda - except toasted ones.
I'm going to ask for a sandwich toaster for Christmas I think -
What would you like to get for Christmas ? smile

- I'd like a nice copy of your new book too - it sounds great ! - definitely something else for my Christmas list.

Do you make a list of desirable presents, or would that be terribly vulgar ?!

Christmas lists are essential otherwise you get dreadful presents from grannies like i used to get an egg timer every year. Read my chapter in the book on Christmas.

eatyourveg Wed 17-Oct-12 13:35:32

please please please please please be your best friend and you can come to my party please do answer the question I asked about whether everything is scripted or if there is a lot of ad libbing please please please pretty please

Yes Miranda you need to pack an OFRS in case of the Zombie Apocalypse.

PosieParker Wed 17-Oct-12 13:35:54

Hi Miranda, as a female comedian do you think you positively add to the Feminist cause? And what difference do you think you can make? Do you give a crap about feminism?

PS Love you.

naughtylittlegalloper Wed 17-Oct-12 13:36:01

Forgot to add flying poo story - I cried!!!

rowingdowntheriver Wed 17-Oct-12 13:36:22

I can't think of a question but just wanted to say that you are great and I am very happy when you are in tv.

Am excited to read that there is a new series coming out at Christmas.

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:36:49

noyouhavehadawee

Oh dear god i am so happy - i love Miranda, my DH reckons i am just like your charector and calls me so - i love breaking out in song tunelessly grin. Oohhh is the book out now? My question is when is the next series out and are you married have children, desires too because i dotn actually know that much about you - infact im going to wiki you now as i call it grin. Such fun!

No no i have a much better question what have you dont today that makes you feeeeeeeeeeeel gooooood?

Please pick me pick me pick me .

Thankyou as you were .....

Yes, book out now. Series at Christmas. Glad you like singing. Me too. obviously. Today i have done a Mumsnet chat to make me feeeel proud and good.

MrsjREwing Wed 17-Oct-12 13:36:57

I can hear your voice in your posts.

Great webchat.

If you don't base the show on rl events, prey tell how you know when ladies large or norks, hear a clap as they turn over in bed?

SunlessSea Wed 17-Oct-12 13:37:05

Lurked here for a long time but have finally registered just to say hello Miranda:0) love your show and look forward to sitting down to watch and have a laugh at the end of a busy week

Punkatheart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:37:55

Mine is a writer's question - where and how do you write? Do you write things up on Post-it notes, all organised and corporate, or do you chew a pencil until it becomes a stump while lying on a sofa?

Even to think about this makes my cheeks pink. I was a student living in my mum's house. I was in the bath and suddenly remembered the cleaner, who had a key, was arriving soon - although I couldn't quite remember the time. Being a good middle-class kid, I thought I had better clean the bath. Couldn't be bothered to get dressed first, so I put on some rubber gloves and naked, started to clean. So that's the cleaner saw me when she opened the bathroom door...naked bar a pair of yellow rubber gloves, cleaning. blush

ChessieFL Wed 17-Oct-12 13:38:41

Are you doing any book signings anywhere?

ZombTEE Wed 17-Oct-12 13:38:45

Also wanted to say...loved you in Not Going Out and sad you're not on it any more, although I love that you have you're own show!

JugglingWithPossibilities Wed 17-Oct-12 13:39:02

Ooh, OOh, how exciting ! An answer from Miranda !

I shall be reading that chapter on Christmas Day in my new slippers grin

- An egg timer is sooo useful though, Miranda !

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:39:06

eatyourveg

please please please please please be your best friend and you can come to my party please do answer the question I asked about whether everything is scripted or if there is a lot of ad libbing please please please pretty please

The show is hardly adlibbed at all. THe cast make suggestions and add things. Sarah Hadland came up with What Have You Done Today to Make You Feel Proud for example. So there are some jokes that they come up with. Sally comes up with some Tilly-isms. But mainly I have it all structured and fully written before rehearsals. Very occasionally will I do something on the day in rehearsals or on the night that is ad libbed. But you can't really as the cameras are scripted too to move away from someone after their line so it's all very technical and precise.

Book signings? There must be. Where, when?? <goes off to find tent to be first in queue>

No real questions, just wanted to say I think you are brill and I love you in whatever you do. It was you wasn't it in smack the pony '10 on the top, 16 on the bottom'? My husband and I still love that sketch.

Oooh I am a big fan of 'technical and precise'. I like that. smile

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:41:22

A couple of people asked about book signings - Milton Keynes on this Sat morning WH Smith, Birmingham Waterstones Sat pm, Sheffield WH Smith Sun Morning and Manchester Waterstones on Sun pm. See you there?

And 3rd series out Christmas.

Thank you for all your interest. Loving you all.

ChessieFL Wed 17-Oct-12 13:41:24

You won't get past me Sparklingbrook!!! I'm first!!!!

Visadiva Wed 17-Oct-12 13:42:11

Hi Miranda, are you doing a book signing in the Trafford Centre this Sunday? I have a sudden urge for some retail therapy....

ChessieFL Wed 17-Oct-12 13:42:12

Aargh!!! I am in Southwest so no signings near me (there never are)....:-(

jsm1234 Wed 17-Oct-12 13:42:34

Hi miranda

Would you say that Miranda tackles any political issues within the show??

Shinyshoes1 Wed 17-Oct-12 13:42:41

No book signings in Essex ??

sad

MrsjREwing Wed 17-Oct-12 13:42:48

I would love you to co-write an episode of dinnerladies or The Royal Family, any plans to work with others?

missmehalia Wed 17-Oct-12 13:43:47

Miranda, you are much adored by me - not least of all, because you seem proud to be yourself! More, more, more of you everywhere please.

Question: Do you think there'll be a point when you'll get fed up with being in front of the cameras and just choose to write/direct? (Doesn't look like you're getting pigeon-holed so far..)

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:43:52

PosieParker

Hi Miranda, as a female comedian do you think you positively add to the Feminist cause? And what difference do you think you can make? Do you give a crap about feminism?

PS Love you.

Love you too. Do you have a passion for Posie Parker? Or are you the real Posie Parker? Or do you not know there's a US actress called Posie Parker?!

Feminism - of course i care about it. Very much so. But i have no agenda other than being a comedian. I set out to get in to comedy and see if i could make people laugh. if they do, i am very happy. I am not setting out to be a 'woman' in media, if that makes sense. That's a by product. And I hope I do women proud but it's not my agenda.

noidles Wed 17-Oct-12 13:44:07

So I just had a peek at your twitter account and there's a section on the bottom right of twitter profiles that says "Similar to [insert name here]" and there's always 3 suggestions. So, these are the people twitter think you are similar to:

Andi Peters
Richard Arnold
V05 styling products

So my question is this, do you ever feel like Andi Peters? What qualities do you share with him, and do any of these Andi Peter-esque qualities ever get you through when you're having a really bad day?

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:45:48

Punkatheart

Mine is a writer's question - where and how do you write? Do you write things up on Post-it notes, all organised and corporate, or do you chew a pencil until it becomes a stump while lying on a sofa?

Even to think about this makes my cheeks pink. I was a student living in my mum's house. I was in the bath and suddenly remembered the cleaner, who had a key, was arriving soon - although I couldn't quite remember the time. Being a good middle-class kid, I thought I had better clean the bath. Couldn't be bothered to get dressed first, so I put on some rubber gloves and naked, started to clean. So that's the cleaner saw me when she opened the bathroom door...naked bar a pair of yellow rubber gloves, cleaning. blush

Funny story about the cleaner. Love it.
As for writing - yes, there are lots of post it notes all over the walls when I am coming up with ideas initially and trying to story line the show and when i have storylined then it's just me and my laptop and my dog. And often i end up on the sofa with exhaustion and frustration.

Badgerparade Wed 17-Oct-12 13:46:00

'A couple of people asked about book signings - Milton Keynes on this Sat morning WH Smith, Birmingham Waterstones Sat pm, Sheffield WH Smith Sun Morning and Manchester Waterstones on Sun pm. See you there?'

Bugger- just bought your book in Birmingham Waterstones - no mention that you would be there! If you have a spare half hour do feel free to pop by for a cuppa - my ds would love that!

IfNotNowThenWhen Wed 17-Oct-12 13:46:51

Hey Miranda.

I just saw Julie Walters on This Morning (ahem I work at home--sort of--) and she was commenting on how hard , nigh impossible, it is for people just starting out to get into show biz nowadays, what with the lack of grants and crazy fees for drama school etc.
She said that the young people coming into the biz now are from privelidged (sp?)backgrounds, because they are the ones who can afford the training and have connections.

Do you think this is true?

Aaargh, I really can't spell privalidged....help me someone!

MrsjREwing Wed 17-Oct-12 13:46:56

Andi Peters shocked me once, by oogling my norks in the distance, whilst he was dining with his male companion.

LineRunner Wed 17-Oct-12 13:47:15

Whi is Richard Arnold? Who is Kevin?

jsm1234 Wed 17-Oct-12 13:47:47

would you say class is an important issue in miranda??
much love x

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:47:56

noidles

So I just had a peek at your twitter account and there's a section on the bottom right of twitter profiles that says "Similar to [insert name here]" and there's always 3 suggestions. So, these are the people twitter think you are similar to:

Andi Peters
Richard Arnold
V05 styling products

So my question is this, do you ever feel like Andi Peters? What qualities do you share with him, and do any of these Andi Peter-esque qualities ever get you through when you're having a really bad day?

That has really made us all laugh. Richard Arnold i can identify with - a camp ball of dancing fun!
Styling products - well, i mean i couldn't be a worse person to advertise hair stuff. My hair is RUBBISH!
And Andi Peters - well, i just don't know what to say. I loved him on Live and Kicking. So maybe it's simply saying I am alive and kicking which i like to think i am. But apart from that i am not sure what we have in common. I will tell him this if I meet him. Hilarious.

Thought that said 'googling your norks' Mrsj*. shock

MrsjREwing Wed 17-Oct-12 13:49:20

Kevin, nice but dim Tim, smashey and nicey, loads of money?

Oh Kevin the teenager? grin Yes Mrs Patterson grin

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:50:19

bigkidsdidit

ooh!

Miranda, I would like to organise a dinner party with you, Jilly Cooper, VIctoria Wood, and Julie Walters. Please will you come?

thanks grin

serious question, I am trying to get past imposter syndrome and anxiety at work. Despite myself, I seem to be doing well at work so I am trying to force myself to believe I am good. I read in the guardian you have had similar issues in the past and wondered if you had any tips on getting past it - after all, you are now an enormous success smile

tyvm

That would be an amazing dinner party. I'm there. Let's add Dawn French too though surely.
I don't know how old you are but if you are younger than me then know life gets better and better and easier and easier and more and more confident as you get older. Just try and do one fun thing everyday to keep you moving through life and know that you have a key purpose and a reason to be on this planet, even if you haven't found it yet.

LineRunner Wed 17-Oct-12 13:50:22

I know nothing.

Leighgirl2012 Wed 17-Oct-12 13:50:39

Hi Miranda, In addition to your hilariously funny comedy (such fun), I can tell there's a wise and pretty knowledgable person in there somewhere too...so, what advice do you have for me and ladies like me who are heavily pregnant? Any nuggets of wisdom for us? smile

Ah come on, Kevin the teenager, everyone knows Harry Enfield! like so: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLuEY6jN6gY
Well, it's hilarious when you're eight. Obviously we're on first name terms with him.
Thank you so much for the answer- just sent of CAPslocked email to my mum!

IfNotNowThenWhen Wed 17-Oct-12 13:51:08

You are thinking of Parker Posey Miranda!

tobemory Wed 17-Oct-12 13:51:15

Yay - managed to sneek away from work to join the last few mins with the fab u lous Miranda.s2
Question: Would you consider doing strictly/ can you dance?

Embarassing moment - I am a working mum who is lucky to work from home a few days each work. I was once on speakerphone to the Board of Directors of my company when my 5 year old walked in and shouted (loudly) - Mummy, Dan's just done a wee on the carpet and I stood in it. But don't worry I have mopped it up with a tea towel and hung my sock on the radiator.
The shame.

cm22v077 Wed 17-Oct-12 13:51:17

What was it like falling in a grave?

MrsjREwing Wed 17-Oct-12 13:51:17

Sparkling in Nobu (mayfair), the cheek!

OOh you could do Come Dine with Me Miranda. What's your cooking like?

LineRunner Wed 17-Oct-12 13:52:11

Who is Parker Posey?

noidles Wed 17-Oct-12 13:52:33

Thank you for answering! Does that mean I can add to my CV that Miranda Hart thinks I'm funny? Or something like 'made Miranda Hart laugh once'.

You don't really NEED to answer that, I'm going to add it now, regardless.

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:52:39

missmehalia

Miranda, you are much adored by me - not least of all, because you seem proud to be yourself! More, more, more of you everywhere please.

Question: Do you think there'll be a point when you'll get fed up with being in front of the cameras and just choose to write/direct? (Doesn't look like you're getting pigeon-holed so far..)

There are still lots of things i would like to do infront of camera, but it is a difficult job in many ways, high pressure and I am aware that popularity doesn't last, so I just take a week at a time, hope people are still interested in me as an actress, and when they aren't then i would love to produce perhaps, or do something completely different. I would love to direct theatre. So yes, i can imagine doing different things later in life.

JugglingWithPossibilities Wed 17-Oct-12 13:53:35

Ooh, I like your philosophical bit to bigkids ....

... can you give us any more thoughts on life ? ...

< greedy extra question [shame] >

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:53:49

Sparklingbrook

OOh you could do Come Dine with Me Miranda. What's your cooking like?

My cooking is truly AWFUL. I am so lazy about it. Don't really like it. Last night there was nothing in the house so I had a tin of Heinz tomato soup and put some chopped up bits of ham in it and capers and swirled it all around and thought 'yup, that's pretty good'. I AM NOT JOKING THAT'S THE WORRY.

HoneyDragon Wed 17-Oct-12 13:54:31

This is a BRILLIANT web chat. MNHQ I don't know how you managed to lure Miranda in, but thankyou thanks

And thanks to the lady herself obviously. thanks Miranda

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:54:44

cm22v077

What was it like falling in a grave?

Scary. Long way to fall. But it's one of the very few things i was confident was going to be funny so i was happy to go for it.

RottenLuck Wed 17-Oct-12 13:55:33

DH and I have a habit of dry humping each other. He is quite similar to his brother who I once grabbed from behind and was literally one nano second away from pumping with gusto. I realised I had the wrong brother and screamed and fled. It was really embarrassing but I shudder to think of what could have occurred.

I'd like to know whether Patricia Hodge is as fun as she appears on screen?

bigkids I saw a picture in the Garden Centre today. it said 'It's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain'. I liked that. smile

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour Wed 17-Oct-12 13:55:38

I'm late to the web chat! Argh!

But I've just read it all and it has been fab, I'd still like to buy you that drink Miranda grin

JustineMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 17-Oct-12 13:55:59

HoneyDragon

This is a BRILLIANT web chat. MNHQ I don't know how you managed to lure Miranda in, but thankyou thanks

And thanks to the lady herself obviously. thanks Miranda

We promised there'd be a ball pit wink.

MrsjREwing Wed 17-Oct-12 13:56:11

Miranda, please join up and post on here anon. what nickname would you choose?

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:56:20

LittleAbruzzenBear

My best friend and I have had a fair few Miranda moments, we luffs you! To sort out a very important argument, could you answer the following please:

If you were stuck on a desert island which of the following cakes would you want to devour? coffee and walnut, victoria sponge or lemon drizzle? Please don't tell me you hate cakes!

I don't hate cakes. Of course not. but you have chosen my least favourite. Lemon is fruit out of context. Cake has got to be pure cake. I am allergic to coffee. And Victoria Sponge, don't hate me, I find very dull. If it was, mainly icing then fine.
I am all about the red velvet cupcake.

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:56:49

I have just dissed the Victoria Sponge and someone next to me at Mumsnet is literally appalled and doesn't want to speak to me again. It's kicking off.

Iheardthatpardon Wed 17-Oct-12 13:56:59

Nooooooooooooooo! Don't go yet! Come back pleasssssssssssssse! We want more!
sad

Miranda DH's favourite. Tin of Heinz tomato with Smash on the top. shock Jamie Oliver eat your heart out. wink grin

missmehalia Wed 17-Oct-12 13:57:13

Well, we're loving all you've done on camera so far so please don't go far away! I cannot think of anything clever or funny to say to you but am so pleased to finally have a telly programme on that I still laugh at on 3rd or 4th watching, and that is such a fab departure from the usual ice skating/screaming into a microphone/eating bugs/answering cringeworthy questions about your partner.

Go you!!

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:57:33

MrsjREwing

Miranda, please join up and post on here anon. what nickname would you choose?

My nickname would be Randy. Or MassiveSpice. Or AndiPeters.

mammamic Wed 17-Oct-12 13:57:38

I LOVE the red velvet cupcake...

Solo Wed 17-Oct-12 13:57:58

shock Why wasn't I informed that Miranda Brilliant Hart was on here? and I've missed her!!!!!!!!!! <sobs>

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:58:13

RottenLuck

DH and I have a habit of dry humping each other. He is quite similar to his brother who I once grabbed from behind and was literally one nano second away from pumping with gusto. I realised I had the wrong brother and screamed and fled. It was really embarrassing but I shudder to think of what could have occurred.

I'd like to know whether Patricia Hodge is as fun as she appears on screen?

Patricia Hodge is a hoot. Really kind too. And I call her Mum 2.

OH YES Miranda on Come Dine with Me. OR Miranda in a Pombears dinner party. Yes yes you must do it! with live broadcasts and asides to the camera.

naughtylittlegalloper Wed 17-Oct-12 13:58:17

Miranda.
Have you written any cheeky bum shots or full on nudiety for Gary in your new series for our delectation? Cos you do have all the power you know?
Many Thanks smile

PosieParker Wed 17-Oct-12 13:58:17

Perfect sense... although as a feminist I am a little bit sad about it, but you can't be everything, I guess. As a role model I think you are feminist by default, completely successful for talent and no FHM shoot. That'll do for me.

And no no passion for Parker Posey, I thought I was rather original with the name but alas it appears not.

xxxx

Mrsj she wouldn't be anonymous if she told us the nickname. grin I think she should keep the one she's got. It's mysterious.....

DameFannyGallopsAtaGhost Wed 17-Oct-12 13:58:32

[Roar] at ball pit grin

mammamic Wed 17-Oct-12 13:58:40

JUSTINE - GET OUR MIRANDA BOOKED IN AGAIN NOW - monthly event...

HoneyDragon Wed 17-Oct-12 13:59:17

RandiPeters would be cool, I'd chat to a RandiPeters.

HappyTurquoise Wed 17-Oct-12 13:59:36

Just back from taking the car to be serviced. had some very bad news, car is in bad shape. Thanks for cheering me up Miranda and all at Mumsnet, you are all fabulous! thanks (Now I've got to go and look for a better paid job...)

I think daily mamma. Although it clashes with Doctors on BBC1. grin

HazeltheMcWitch Wed 17-Oct-12 13:59:50

RottenLuck you really made me laugh there with your juxtaposition of dryhumping and... Patricia Hodge.

mammamic Wed 17-Oct-12 14:00:07

ooops - or Rachel or whoever it is who books the webchat guests - quick - before she leaves!

Is it all over?? sad

recall Wed 17-Oct-12 14:00:38

Wanted to tell you that Chummie's breech birth scene was one of the most moving things I have ever seen. I was born breech, and my Mum was in tears, she delivered me naturally and said it was spot on.

Sorry if this has been done, just rushed in and haven't had time to read .

corblimeymadam Wed 17-Oct-12 14:01:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RalphGnu Wed 17-Oct-12 14:01:09

Everybody grab her ankles

RottenLuck Wed 17-Oct-12 14:01:41

hazel I still blush at the memory. Am very glad Pat hodge is a good laugh though. If I ever hump my bil again I'll know what to say...Such fun!

Iheardthatpardon Wed 17-Oct-12 14:01:49

Oh yes - Miranda do do a Come Dine With Me please! That would be what I call funny!

ChessieFL Wed 17-Oct-12 14:01:49

Has she gone?? :-(

MrsVamoOOOOOs Wed 17-Oct-12 14:01:50

Drat ! Have I missed Miranda ?

Poohsticks.

My DD (8) ADORES her, and I wondered if she could have given her a wave ?

Don't go. sad

Only4theOlympics Wed 17-Oct-12 14:02:10

No question but I have to say Thank you. Thank you for the laughter, for making me feel more normal, for working so hard and for bringing a little bit of joy to the world!

Encore!!!!

mammamic Wed 17-Oct-12 14:02:18

HAPPYTURQUOISE - know how you feel. spent £562 on brakes last week and now just had a phone call to tell me the service, MOT and other 'stuff' comes to £1300 or thereabouts!!! I'm sure the car ain't worth that much... sad

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 14:02:23

Well, it's time to wrap this up. It's been brilliant. And I am now going to announce the winner of your most embarrassing moments.....

DRUM ROLL PLEASE...

I am hoping you are all drumming as we speak on your tables or desks....

The winner is...

COCOLEPEW for her story about being deposited on a beach by a large wave and loosing her bikini bottoms and have the bikini top around her neck.

For those of you who haven't read the book - go to the Exercise chapter. A similar thing happened to me. In fact, I tell it on Graham Norton this Friday. I was on with Arnie and Ronnie Corbett. Me and Arnie - ridiculous!

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour Wed 17-Oct-12 14:02:48

Thanks so much for this Miranda, you fit in so beautifully here grin

MrsjREwing Wed 17-Oct-12 14:03:01

RandiPeters. grin

Thanks Miranda.

Thank you. That was brilliant. xxxx

MrsVamoOOOOOs Wed 17-Oct-12 14:03:23

Miranda,

Please give MiniVamos a wave ? Pretty please ? She'd be sooo chuffed !

<offers virtual cake and wine>

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks Wed 17-Oct-12 14:03:23

Goodbye Miranda, please visit again soon! smile

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 14:03:42

A GENUINE THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT. AM SO GRATEFUL.

LOTS OF LOVE AND AU REVOIR NOT GOODBYE.

MIRANDA XXXXXX

spiderlight Wed 17-Oct-12 14:03:49

Thank you for coming, Miranda (and for answering my question first <preens> ) - you're brilliant and we love you!

HoneyDragon Wed 17-Oct-12 14:03:53

Way to go Coco.

Miranda, Coco REALLY deserves the book and needs a good cheering up, I'm thrilled you picked her smile

horsebiscuit Wed 17-Oct-12 14:03:54

I agree with naughtylittlegallopper- gratuitous Gary nudity yes please!

Faverolles Wed 17-Oct-12 14:04:08

Thank you smile
This was nearly as good as the Miss Rabbit webchat!

grin I think she liked us. wink

Iheardthatpardon Wed 17-Oct-12 14:04:16

Goodbye Miranda! (Waves hanky forlornly and weeps desolately)

mumat39 Wed 17-Oct-12 14:04:25

Byeeeee

<waves at Miranda.>

D0G Wed 17-Oct-12 14:04:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon Wed 17-Oct-12 14:04:47

1. That adults reclaim the gallop

One of the joys of having a small daughter is that I sometimes am told to gallop to school.

MrsVamoOOOOOs Wed 17-Oct-12 14:04:50

Bums. sad

Have to add, I think Miranda is a national treasure ! So sorry I missed the chat.

LineRunner Wed 17-Oct-12 14:04:55

Well done, Coco. smile

JugglingWithPossibilities Wed 17-Oct-12 14:05:00

< waves goodbye to Miranda sad You made my day ! smile >

PestoSandalissimos Wed 17-Oct-12 14:05:07

Come back soon Miranda, we've had a fab lucnhtime grin

<<waves Miranda off>>

D0G Wed 17-Oct-12 14:05:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

corblimeymadam Wed 17-Oct-12 14:05:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumat39 Wed 17-Oct-12 14:05:35

Oh and well done coco. What did the man on the beach say ? He must have thought it was his lucky day grin

That has really cheered me up thank you Justine and MNHQ.

OneMoreGo Wed 17-Oct-12 14:05:55

Come back soon, Miranda - we love you. Thank you for chatting with us smile

eatyourveg Wed 17-Oct-12 14:06:02

me too DOG

Do you think she might mention us in an episode?

DyeInTheEar Wed 17-Oct-12 14:06:06

And I thought I was a Miranda fan before. Even bigger one now!

Yes well done Cocole . grin

JugglingWithPossibilities Wed 17-Oct-12 14:06:36

< sniffs. Au Revoir it is ! >

I might go to Birmingham on Saturday afternoon.

ZombTEE Wed 17-Oct-12 14:07:32

WHOOT Coco!

Cheers Miranda, thanks for joining us.

Dd1 is begging me to go too Sparkling

LouMacca Wed 17-Oct-12 14:14:15

Ooh I got my question answered smile Miranda are you WONDERFUL!!! Thank you - come back again soon!!!!

I'll be at the front of the queue at Manchester Waterstones on Sunday!!! grin

Bibblebobbleparsnip Wed 17-Oct-12 14:16:25

Embarrassing moments- I have a few!
One Christmas as a student I was helping my Mum with the Big Shop at Christmas at the Supermarket. I went to pick up some Blue Cheese Salad Dressing from the shelf and dropped the glass bottle. The next bit seemed to happen in slow motion, I dropped the bottle, fumbled, it hit the handle on the trolley, exploded (covering me in dressing) then hit the floor and smashed. I had to pick my way out of the mess of glass and wait while the "clean up on aisle three please" announcement was made and a lady appeared with some paper towels to wipe me down. As if this wasn't embarrassing enough I now STANK, people were literally recoiling as we carried on our shopping. In fac,t the smell was soooo bad my Mum and sister insisted on opening all the car windows on the way home, despite the December temperature.
My family seek to remind me of it every Christmas...

Bibblebobbleparsnip Wed 17-Oct-12 14:17:16

Ooooh dear didn't read the title properly and missed the time! Booooo! Sorry blush

Is it Just Me?
Miranda Hart

£9.99
RRP £20.00
Saving £10.01 (50%)



This is a wristbanded event. A limited no. of wristbands and are available from WHSmith Milton Keynes from 9am on Saturday 13th October. Books should be purchased from WHSmith and proof of purchase may be necessary
Signing copies of 'Is it Just Me? '
WHSmith Milton Keynes
Tel: 01908 60677820 October 2012 11:00 - TBC
Wristbanded event. A limited no. of wristbands. Available from WHSmith Meadowhall 9am on Sat 13th Oct. Books should be purchased from WHSmith, proof of purchase may be necessary. The signing will take place on the mezzanine level in the Oasis Food Court.
Signing copies of 'Is it Just Me? '
WHSmith Meadowhall
Tel: 0114 256800021 October 2012 11:00 - TBC

supergreenuk Wed 17-Oct-12 14:20:00

She is allergic to coffee. One word. Millicano

WorraLiberty Wed 17-Oct-12 14:23:15

Aww gutted I missed the web chat sad

I must say I was a little shocked to read that Miranda put Justine in a home...but it sounds like she did it just in the nick of time! grin

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:16:20
I should add that I gave Justine full approval to eat Barbara. I wanted her to go to a good home before she rotted and lost her looks

super. It's a voiceover. confused

Oh yes - Miranda do do a Come Dine With Me please! That would be what I call funny!

I think you'll find it'd be what we all call funny hmm

cocolepew Wed 17-Oct-12 14:49:57

OMGOMGOMGOMG!!! I won! shock <faints>

Ohhhh I'm all pleased with myself now grin.

Thank you Miranda smile
Thanks everyone smile

JustineMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 17-Oct-12 14:52:09

WorraLiberty

Aww gutted I missed the web chat sad

I must say I was a little shocked to read that Miranda put Justine in a home...but it sounds like she did it just in the nick of time! grin

MirandaHart Wed 17-Oct-12 13:16:20
*I should add that I gave Justine full approval to eat Barbara. I wanted her to go to a good home before she rotted and lost her looks*

I do frequently wake up of a morn and feel like I'm rotting (literally!)

JugglingWithPossibilities Wed 17-Oct-12 14:52:23

Great story coco

Be proud grin

JugglingWithPossibilities Wed 17-Oct-12 14:57:30

I think it's the dark mornings ATM Justine - perhaps things will brighten up a little when the clocks go back ? though the evenings will then be dismal until Spring

< calls, come back Miranda, we're all sad without you ! >

cocolepew Wed 17-Oct-12 14:59:55

Thank you Honeydragon smile

(Look no rude typoswink)

bigkidsdidit Wed 17-Oct-12 16:15:53

Just got back from work, THANKS Miranda for answering my question seriously smile

What a great web chat

iseenodust Wed 17-Oct-12 17:19:42

Brilliant. Missed it live. B***dy rural broadband.

ooh she is now talking on radio 2, she is a busy bee today smile

spiderlight Wed 17-Oct-12 18:39:43

So who else has spent the entire afternoon desperately trying to drop 'As Miranda Hart said to me earlier...' into conversation? blush

D0G Wed 17-Oct-12 18:44:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CJCregg Wed 17-Oct-12 18:46:59

I am pathetically thrilled that she answered my question.

I so need to get a life. And to be her BFF.

hmm

D0G Wed 17-Oct-12 18:47:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JugglingWithPossibilities Wed 17-Oct-12 19:05:39

I've already dropped it into another thread spider - on due dates (so, rather tenuous link there !!)

It's DS's birthday today and I said that ooh ten or so years after he was born here I am chatting away to Miranda Hart about this and that blush grin

Not much opportunity to name drop in RL yet - I need to get out more too !
Still, I'm sure those Miranda stories will yet see the light of day smile
- especially at Christmas as that's what we were chatting about - like you do grin

I am still grin about it all. I told DH, I think he was quite impressed.

cocolepew Wed 17-Oct-12 19:29:17

DH isn't home yet do I can't boast tell him I won the book. I am giving it to DD1 for christmas, she loves Miranda and wants the book. I can't wait to see her face when she sees its signed grin

HappyTurquoise Wed 17-Oct-12 19:36:41

cocolepew, my DH is here, so you could let me have the book and then I could boast instead! grin

YouSmegHead Wed 17-Oct-12 19:39:01

so gutted to have missed this. Such fun!

If you are having a sneaky look to see what's been said since you left, more love, more thank yous and hope you come back x

HoneyDragon Wed 17-Oct-12 19:57:31

Turquoise grin

Cocolepew, you can't argue with logic like that.

Asmywhimsytakesme Wed 17-Oct-12 20:00:05

So cross I was at work and missed it live but have just read every word.

Miranda, I love to watch you with what I call a cup of tea.

Had major surgery this year and when I couldn't sleep in the night after me and my DM who was looking after me watched you on the iPhone (with head phones). blush to say we actually woke the baby up because we laughed so much.

HappyTurquoise Wed 17-Oct-12 20:08:04

It's OK coco, you can have it. I hinted heavily to DD1 (who loves Miranda and listened) that Is It Just Me? would make a very special Christmas present for a mummy (plus she could borrow it after I've read it). I might actually be getting a real, luffly Christmas present this year! Swoon! Not only that, but because I'd been in the same chat room as Miranda, we had what I call a real conversation and then I was cool enough to be seen out with and she asked to come out shopping with me.

Miranda, you are the best!
we heard a bit of her on Simon Mayo's Radio 2 show in the car as well. the girl does gad about.

Was at work and just checked, am also pathetically uber chuffy chuffed she acknowledged little me grin

corblimeymadam Wed 17-Oct-12 21:26:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RachelMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 17-Oct-12 21:56:18

cocolepew

OMGOMGOMGOMG!!! I won! shock <faints>

Ohhhh I'm all pleased with myself now grin.

Thank you Miranda smile
Thanks everyone smile

Congratulations Coco - what a great win. We'll pm you to get your details so we can get your prize over to you.

Northernlurkerisbehindyouboo Thu 18-Oct-12 08:01:40

I showed my dd1 the bit where she got a wave from Miranda. She was really pleased. Apparently mumsnet has some purpose after all grin

Can Miranda do a webchat every week

cocolepew Thu 18-Oct-12 08:46:26

Turquoise grin

So, same time today is it? <hopeful>

Noooooooooooooooooooo. Miranda Fooking Hart's on MN of a lunchtime and I'm schlepping round B&Q with wotshisface looking at 456 different tiles which frankly all look the arsing same and having to Say Things about grout and the application of grout and drying time of grout.

Arsebiscuits frankly.

I'm going to buy her book Right Now to make up for missing her.

cocolepew Thu 18-Oct-12 11:08:53

Poor showy .
I don't have to buy the book because I won it. Have I mentioned that yet? Handpicked by Miranda. Have I mentioned that as well?

Really cocole? I don't think i knew that. grin Does it say 'To cocole Love Miranda' in the front? envy

Asmywhimsytakesme Thu 18-Oct-12 11:49:50

Coco I want you to post a photo of the bikini incident if you have one.

envy about your lovely book and chat with Miranda. That's what I call special attention.

cocolepew Thu 18-Oct-12 13:05:23

It better have kisses in it.
Photos shock even uf there was any they would have been destroyed years ago!
It was very traumatic actually <huffs> first I thought I was drowning, then my skin got ripped off on the shingle . Then I had no knickers on sad.
I ended up nowhere near where I got in the water, my boyfriend,was very confused to see me wandering down the beach with a strangers towel wrapped around me.

Asmywhimsytakesme Thu 18-Oct-12 13:12:48

Aaawww coco sad that does sound pants (pardon the pun) but at least you got your prize as recompense. Sounds like its actually quite a good job nothing serious happened.

supergreenuk Thu 18-Oct-12 14:02:58

Sparklingbrook. I know. I think I was pointing out the irony. Always someone ..........

I'm not with you super. What have I said? confused

Oh sorry supergreenuk- the Millicano? I get you now. I think. grin

supergreenuk Thu 18-Oct-12 14:22:48

Supergreenuk
She is allergic to coffee. One word. Millicano
Sparklingbrook
super. It's a voiceover. :/

Asmywhimsytakesme Thu 18-Oct-12 14:23:28

I still don't get it sparkling confused

supergreenuk pointed out that MH was allergic to coffee but did a voiceover for Millicano Asmy. I didn't know it was irony until now. sad

Asmywhimsytakesme Thu 18-Oct-12 14:39:47

Thank you - now I get it smile

Let's not fall out on our lovely Miranda thread - such fun!

JugglingWithPossibilities Thu 18-Oct-12 15:25:50

Talking about the evenings drawing in - after Justine's comment about mornings - at least we've got a nice new series of Miranda to look forward to soon, as well as the book to curl up with on the sofa under a duvet smile

JugglingWithPossibilities Thu 18-Oct-12 15:27:30

You could even have a nice coffee or cocoa to warm you up too wink

- Or see if Tom's around if Miranda hasn't bagged him yet smile

Asmywhimsytakesme Thu 18-Oct-12 16:17:23

Ooh yes!

Garrryyyyy...

BatmanLovesHowlingAtTheMoon Thu 18-Oct-12 19:56:10

I am soooo ridiculously excited that Miranda answered my question, and read my embarrassing story. Excited! She needs to get that zombie plan sorted though...

What a lovely lady smile

supergreenuk Thu 18-Oct-12 22:40:40

Did you know that in real life Gary is married to Tamzin Outhwaite?

Asmywhimsytakesme Thu 18-Oct-12 22:56:27

Super stop shattering my illusions. Gary is single and totally in my league even though I am just slightly different looking from that --tamsin

corblimeymadam Fri 19-Oct-12 06:51:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

supergreenuk Fri 19-Oct-12 09:08:43

Haha. grin

Graham Norton tonight folks.....

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