Mumsnet Talk

ohhhhhh OOOOOoooohhhhhhhhhhh

<tries to think of question that makes self not look a fricking numpty>

Wahey! Well done MN

SCREAM!

Oh WOW

I have a question:

Do you relate to people in the flesh as you do on the page? eg at the school gate, with clusters of mothers you may not know that well. Do you spout forth or nod and smile?

Loving your stuff, btw. <gush>

Oh I LUFF Caitlin Moran!

<clears throat and stands up for fawning question a la Prime Minister's Question Time>

Caitlin, do you agree that your excellent book "How to be a woman" should be required reading for all girls aged 13 and older?

I have two teenage cousins and I can't help thinking that reading it would save them some of the heartache I endured.

<sneakily slips in second question> Can we go drinking together?

Caitlin, you are amazing and funny and I am more than a little in love with you. I saw you talk at the Hay festival (and walked past you and nearly died of excitement. We followed you to tell you how fab you are but you managed to escape).

My question is:

If you could give your 8 year old self one bit of advice what would it be? Would you consider writing a guide to life for girls that age? My DD is 8 and is finding life hard...I would give her How to be a Woman to read but it I think it would scare her. And her language is quite foul enough already.

(I know that is two questions but it is kind of one in two parts)

A bit navel gazing - but are you a Mumsnetter? Someone once told me in hushed tones that you were a regular once upon a time? If so what do you think of it?

Hi Caitlin. I'm a big fan of your writing and loved How To Be A Woman.

The only bit I wasn't convinced about was the chapter on Lady Gaga. Do you really think she can be classed as a feminist icon? I watch her videos and think, 'Oh, put some bloody clothes on, woman' - same as with Rihanna or any of those other pop tarts. I find it really sad the way female musicians feel they have to take their clothes off and act all sexy to sell records. What do you think?

Big fan here too esp of celebwatch .

As a twitter follower, I admire your comments on various Internet shopping sites. But how do you manage to drag yourself away fit that in with writing a column?

<casual>

Hi Caitlin.

I read How To Be A Woman while on Holiday last year and loved it. I am about to ask my son (15) to have a read as I feel that it would be really valuable for him as I can't seem to find anything else that is such good fun and easy to read on the subject of feminism.

My question is, have you encountered much of a backlash from How To Be A Woman?

I TOTALLY LOVE YOU BTW

Shit, blew my casual cover

Oops, meant pop stars, not pop tarts

Caitlin - your columns make me chortle with laughter and remind me to keep doing my pelvic floor exercises. Who or what makes you laugh pant-wettingly hard?

I am interested in your story of being autonomously educated as a child, that you & your very many siblings all turned out "okay" from it. I mean, do you feel like you were all well prepared for adult life? How are you & they educating own children now, have any chosen to HE own children?

Dear Caitlin, will you merry me?

So I just wanted to ask you for any advice you can give for the starting up writer. Any tips, clues, names, email addresses. etc. I know you started your career (wheey!) very early on and times had changed but as you're in the business you may know IT ALL.

I'm also 11 weeks pregnant and worried as f* about money, stiches, tears and everything else. Will it be ok? Will you come give me hug and drink coffee with me? Poke me on Facebook?

I saw you at the Cheltenham Literature Festival a year ago with Grace Dent and you said you would never appear on a panel show such as Mock the Week as they still such chauvinistic minefields. Have you changed your mind at all? Come on we need you to break down the barrier and you are the woman to do it!

PS Am coming to see you again this year at Cheltenham! Let's all stand on chairs again!

Caitlin, I think you're brilliant and loved your column before it disappeared behind the paywall and your book.

I agree with others that your book should be required reading for all teens.

What would you say to accusations that How to Be a Woman is patriarchally approved feminism? More specifically your views on pornography and that there is nothing really wrong with it. I think in your book you said something along the lines of "it's just fucking." Does that not just ignore that many women in the industry have been abused or are being coerced? Or any of the other issues that feminists have with porn?

It's the one point I've read over and over again WRT How to Be a Woman... that many people enjoyed it but just couldn't see eye to eye with you regarding pornography which could be what leads people to say it is patriarchally approved feminism.

Hi Caitlin,
I think you're totally ace. Actually, no I don't. I KNOW it.
My question is a bit strange: As you're such a livewire, how do you relax? Do you sleep ok?
(I'm having trouble with that at the mo)
Thanks!

Dear Caitlin

As someone like myself who was brought up in social housing, what do you think of this current idea to negate the shortage of social housing by building a 21st Century version of the prefab?

Thanks

Hi Caitlin, what' s your favourite biscuit? Also where do you get hair done?

What are you wearing? <in a NON-pervy way, despite being big, huge fan>

Ooo yay!
LOVED the book and I gave a copy to my 18 yo, just-off-to-university sister and hope it'll stand her in good stead.
Caitlin, as the mother of young girls, what do you think are the most important things you can teach them?
Also <shallow>, that fab necklace you're wearing on the cover- where can I get me one of them? My friend adores it and I'd be forever in your debt...

Hi Caitlin, hope you're well!

I would like to know if you think The Sun's Page 3 should be banned.
If so, why, and if not, why not?

Thanks!

Love the book, I have given it as presents too, including to my v.ill friend who sat laughing out loud whilst having chemo.
I second the porn question, as that was the only contentious bit of the book for me, well that and liking Gaga but I feel less strongly about that point.

In HTBAW you mention likened running to dancing (I get this, and have been known to do ravey hands whilst running in the woods): my question is

do you still run and if so what is on your running playlist?

Hello Caitlin,

I have a question about childcare in the early years. I noticed in your book that you didn't really make much reference to whether you used nurseries/nannies etc when your children were very young, and you were working; we discussed this in my book group and I felt that it would have been great to hear your views on childcare and feminism, and how there seems to be some pretty negative attitudes towards working women (mainly celebs) who use nannies etc.

So my question is - did you have a nanny/au pair/childminder etc when your girls were small? If not, how did you manage the balance with working from home? And what are your thoughts on the (false?) impression given in the media by a number of celeb women that it's a piece of piss to balance modelling/acting/whatevering with full-time childrearing?

Thank you in advance - I shall be working while you're doing your webchat (mine is in a nursery) but will sneak on if I can

*my child is in a nursery, I mean! I'm not doing a webchat in one

Who is your favourite uk columnist? It's Grace Dent isn't it? Does she have a restraining order for you yet?

My quetion is-

Boris Johnstone-shag or die?

Hi Caitlin

Huge fan! Where do you stand on fidelity within a relationship? Is it a deal-breaker (either or both ways)?

Dear Caitlin.
So looking forward to the new book.
Rik Mayall once cupped my boob. And I loved it. Does this make me a) a terrible feminist or b) incrediby lucky?

PS - remember you from Naked City discussing your goth wardrobe. Red? I like it!!

Do you think print journalism has a future?

And - not a question - but I really admire The Times for employing you, India Knight, Janice Turner etc who are very obviously NOT Murdoch lapdogs (and, incidentally, all great feminists). I don't think there's nearly enough appreciation of that.

Us old gimmers remember when you were <ahem> royalty a MN regular. Do you still, er, dabble?

Just read "How To Be a Woman" and thoroughly enjoyed it. If you have a new book to plug, why don't you come to the Ilkley Literature Festival it is just down the road from me as good as Cheltenham and I would really like to hear you talk about your books.

OMG official. I have never ever been so jealous of anyone in my life. Rik Mayall is sooooo sexy. (Sorry for hogging thread with weird taste in men.)

Caitlin, have you finished your crisp cracker yet?
And also... The pronounciation of Caitlin has been a subject of debate here on mumsnet. How do you say your name?

God, sorry, these were VERY boring questions. I love How To Be A Woman. And (obviously) I love your twitterings. I secretly really want to be best friends with you, Lauren Laverne and Grace Dent. And Lucy Mangan.

Oh Iawn. You have no idea. I haven't washed it since (I have.)
He is so sexy! I so would.

oh and don't bother being friends with lucy mangan. she hates vegetarians!

at official with one dirty boob
I used to have a life size cardboard cut-out of him in my bedroom when I was a teenager

Hurrah! A web chat worth looking at

I'm not sure I have a question, I've just come here to fawn over you.

I loved the R4 interview you had with Tim Minchin and the subsequent interview you did with Jennifer Saunders.

Have you done much radio and would you do more? You have an engaging voice that is easy on the ear and that draws you in - it's like listening to your friends having a gossip at the pub.

Ah, see. I did have a question after all!

Do you think separating "Sports Personality of the Year " into men and women does female sporting personalities a disservice or do you think it's quite a sensible thing to do?

When DH called our DD his princess and I passed him a copy of your book irrelevant fawning

Hello Caitlin.
Am a Huge fan and, frankly would be your house slave if asked, however...moving on.....
I was disappointed that in your book "how to be a woman" you deemed porn "fine".
I dont agree and neither did a lot of other MNers.
Do you still feel that way and why?

Seriously.....I would.

Oh, and I should mention that you are entirely responsible for dh and I singing 'cheese on cheese', every time we reach for the Cathedral City. Even ds (4yo) sings it

Hi Caitlin, just wanted to ask, who has been the biggest influence on your writing career so far?

Hi Caitlin.

My question is what are your views on trade unions? (I work for one) I personally think we do so much good and need a few more decent people to stick up for us!

Hi Caitlin,
Thank you for the joy of a book that made me laugh out loud and made the 10 women in my book group try to discuss the word 'cunt' for 30 minutes without saying it once.

I have also given a copy of your book to my lovely 18yrold cousin who's off to university and needed a counterpoint to 'Fifty Shades of Grey'.

My question is What do you think of 'Fifty Shades of Grey' ?

If you were to be represented by just one article or piece you've written which one would it be? Personally I loved the gaga one. Marvellous.
<eyes hair do enviously> ok, and I want to know who does your hair. I asked for a mallen streak recently and I was the only one old enough to know what I was talking about.

Another big fan here & I love being able to watch your banter on Twitter, it's like overhearing the most entertaining drunk last-orders pub conversations ever.

However...sometimes Twitter gets a bit pitchforky & lots of male journalists have written lately about whether trolls should be hounded, exposed or ignored. What do you think about it, especially if it's a woman being attacked by a troll, or the person doing the trolling is a woman?

(Seeing women hounding other women here and on Twitter makes me very uncomfortable).

Caitlin, will you please be my best friend? I'll dump my current BF for you.

I grew up in the same area of Wolvo as you so that should cement it. I was even in the same year at school as one of your sisters for a time

<composes self>

My actual question though is this: You have said that your husband Pete is a massive feminist. There are factions on MN who would scoff at this. He has a penis. He cannot be a feminist. How would you argue against that?

xxx

Great. I put kisses on the end of my post. I am officially a twunt.

How do you think feminism will have progressed by the time your daughters are adult?

Oh Caitlin - [tries to be cool] - I love you and your book and loved your interview with Tim Minchin on r4 a couple of weeks back - was it the battle of the big hair.

Think my favourite quote of yours is 'leopard is a neutral' Love all the feminism stuff too obviously.

Am going to have to re-arrange tomorrow to be around for this now [excited]

Could you please tell us how it feels to have 'Moran week' in the Times? Has anyone else ever had a week? And shouldn't you be inviting everyone at the Bloomsbury Theatre tonight to the after party? Thank you.

Hello Caitlin

<wibble>

Listened to your Teenage Diary segment on R4 and loved it, and wondered - do you still keep a diary? If so, do you still find yourself tempted to start with what you ate?

What's your take on all the Olympic shenanigans eh?

Also your book is regularly gifted to my girlfriends (that term offends me.) So thank you for making it a bit of a no brainer.

My birthday present shopping list goes "Is she a girl? Does she have a brain? Catlin Moran book it is."

Tis easy peasy.

sooooo Caitlin please tell us about your stitches

Hi Caitlin

I remember taping episodes of Naked City & watching them obsessively. I'm of a certain age where I used to wear doc martins, drink cider & dance to Nirvana so hence the following questions

Does Courtney Love ever get in touch? Even by means of rambling answer phone messages?

What do you think your 16 year old self would have made of Lady Gaga? Are there any current rock role models for girls out there?

Hello Caitlin,
I buy all my friends copies of your book for their birthdays. It is brill and my copy is on it's fifth lending.

Question;
My DH and I have a famous people clause, he is allowed to shag Emma Bunton and I am allowed to shag Bryan Adams, Paul Walker and I have recently added Oscar Pistorius. Do you have one and who is on it? If not who would you put on it?

Hi Caitlin, what's your view on the Assange fiasco?

Goonatic, your DH just gets Bunton and you get a trio of hunks?! How is that fair?!

Ha ha! I secretly updated mine and didn't tell him!!!! He is a goonatic!

Hello Caitlin,

I thought you looked cheerfully bonkers in the Batman get-up in the The Times at the weekend - hope you got to keep it. Especially the cape. You could also pretend to be a olde time magician when the mood took you then.

You mentioned in the feature about your new book that you decided to take the non-sneery, less acerbic road to being a critic, and to have fun. Being a misery-guts is probably easier, but what you're doing looks like a lot more fun, especially as it means your byline pictures aren't of you looking all moody. Why aren't more people following your lead?

>> he is allowed to shag Emma Bunton

Jesus, seriously? Are you not a bit worried about his taste in women?

So Caitlin, who would win in a fight between you and Hufty?

Hello Caitlin
Thanks for being a wild haired, clever, loud, lovely, opinionated, honest woman who has a bush and rocks a dress. You give others permission to be themselves and that is quite a gift.
xxxxxxxxxx

OY haberdashery ! Bless him he hasnt thought to update it from circa 1995 so she was quite fit at the time. Am but scared to ask him to update it.

Hi Caitlin, who do you think are good female role models for teens today?

Did someone already ask that ?

Hello Caitlin

There has been a lot of discussion recently about trolls on Twitter, and how celebrities deal with them.

Do you get a lot of abuse on Twitter, and if you do how do you deal with it?

(going by the atrocious fawning on this thread, you probably don't get any abuse)

<hard stare at the fluttering masses> Stop it. We have a reputation as hard assed vipers to maintain. FFS.

Do you think you'll write a sequel to HTBAW?

I have just finished reading HTBAW thanks to loads of mentions of it on here. I know Caitlin will answer her own questions, but WRT porn being "fine" I do believe what CM actually said was that she what she wants from porn is to be able to watch people enjoying consensual sex with people they actually like and want to fuck, which of course is not what the porn industry does. Normal people, normal sex. Although forgive me if I'm wrong and have read it incorrectly.

I haven't got a question right now, but will think on it and return!

<Flicks v's at MmeLindor in hard assed viper fashion. Restores balance to the universe>

How To Be A Man?
How To Be An Old Woman?

Er, those were title suggestions for HTBAW sequels, following margerykemp's post

<curses short attention span and slow typing speed>

How to be a woman: I loved the stories about your family. But it all went downhill with the pursuant lectures [imho]

Hi Caitlin,

I love your columns and HTBAW

In my part of the country a lare proportion of females my age (mid to late 20s) would definitely not consider themselves to be feminists. Do you think this is a geography or generation issue?

for CelebWatch as it is a beacon of hilarity in this world of fauny 'sleb magazines!

wellwisher
The sequel in a couple of decade should def. be How To Totally Rock Being An Old Lady

Caitlin, is there anything at all that worries you about growing older?

Btw, your new book will be downloaded onto my Kindle in about 15 mins.
Am very excited

Caitlin: you said in your book something like, "Having children made me want to work harder/be more successful." (I'm paraphrasing.)

Why do you think that was/is?

Hello Caitlin, thank you for coming on Mumsnet. I loved your book and especially the chapter on abortion, it was so bloody brilliant to see that in print, especially about the most depressing google search in the world. Thanks for that. I should also say that I love you as you once complimented DD2 at a bus stop, and she is a funny looking thing so you made my day. <ahem>

My question is: I'd love to see more ballsy feminist interesting women like you on TV, not just writing about it. So why don't we see you on shows like Question Time or similar? I know the editors will say that they are desperate for women but find it hard to think of any or get them to say yes . I've always thought this is a crying shame even though I'd be fucking terrified to appear on a show like that.

She said that porn is " just some people fucking"
No. It isn't. Its a multi billion dollar industry that degrades everyone involved in it, men and women.
It has also resulted in pre pubescent girls wanting their pubic hair waxed off as soon as it appears as it is not seen as normal anymore to have pubic hair on a female body ( its ok for males though)
I also have a major issue with the use of the word "retard" (used twice in the book)
My son has sen and it angered and saddened me that someone of Caitlin's intelligence thinks its ok to use that term in print and that it got past the (hopefully) stringent editorial process intact.
I wonder of Caitlin regrets her choice of word?
I hope so....

Tee hee, Goonatic!

Hello Caitlin. I enjoyed your book though I really strongly disagree with you about porn.

Your book left me very nosy curious about what your brothers and sisters ended up doing. Did they turn out unconventional living in teepees somewhere or are they all very normal with mortgages and cars and jobs in marketing?

My nine year old daughter (and Radio 4 addict) Grace thinks Caitlin is amazing and wants to be home schooled just like Caitlin.

Does Caitlin have any advice on for a home schooled child?

Thanks xx

Hi Caitlin

My dearest friend believes that pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding and motherhood are demeaning, subjugating and make women slaves to the patriarchy (her words, holding my day-old son).

I have a 7 month old baby, my body is ruined, I haven't had any fun for months and as I type this I'm sitting in a darkened room humming twinkle twinkle so I take her point but I disagree with her completely - I just can't put into words why without sounding like Mrs Beeton.

What do you think?

Ta!

<3

Would love to know what your favourite wine is. Lambrini not allowed.

Looking forward to reading Moranthology.

Hello Caitlin! Thanks for coming.

I loved HTBAW. I am also one of these people that forces every woman I know to read it.

Loved your chapter on abortion. I remember reading an article when I was at university, which said that increasingly more and more people in their 30s are having abortions, but choose to keep it to themselves out of guilt. The overriding opinion in society is that if you have a stable job, a home and a relationship, you should keep your baby if your pregnant. So so many people choose to keep it to themselves. It was so brave of you to be so candid about your opinion - and I totally agree with you.

After reading about Todd Akin's awful opinions that legitimate rape victims cannot medically get pregnant I would LOVE to see you interview him - would be uncomfortable viewing though. What would you say to him?

Hello Caitlin, another Wolverhampton girl here my question is if you were not a journalist/writer/broadcaster what would you like to do?
Would it involve music?

Thank you.

Hi Caitlin- I read your last book and gave it to my teenager; it is one of the few things she read this year, so thanks for that.

My question is: how on earth do you get anything done while you are attached to your phone on Twitter? Is there a drug I should know about?

Hi Caitlin,

A young male writer of my aquaintance (shit-hot, very talented, very right-on, very going-places) recently remarked that he was somewhat 'behind' on his 'women writers' - that all of his favourite novels were by men, that it never really occured to him to read novels written by women, and did I have any recommendations?

I find that when people - no matter how talented - come out with statements like this, I can no longer take them as seriously as before and they become less intelligent in my eyes. Does this kind of thing also annoy you? What's the solution? I never even bothered to reply to the mail

Hi Caitlin, Love youuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!

I would just like to know, do you wish your column was free to everyone?

Hi Caitlin <waves>

I wanted to ask what your family made of HTBAW? It felt at times a bit like reading someone's (hilarious) diary, so just wondered if your family had any comments on it.

(and I love you too )

Hello
What do you make of folk fawning over you and over whom do you fawn?

Hi Caitlin. Massive congratulations on HTBAW. I thought it was both Important and Very Funny.

I'd like to know whether you have any thoughts on bringing up boys. I am in awe of everyone who has a daughter and is doing their best to bring her up to know that she is not a second-class citizen. But as the mother of a boy I often ask myself what I can do to give him the best chance of growing up sane and loving and respectful of himself and everyone else. (You don't have to spend long on the Relationships board here to see how horrifyingly often it's not the case.)

hello Caitlyn

I wondered about your opinion regarding the female characters on Doctor Who.

Opinion seems to be a little divided - Arguably Moffats show-running has led to incredible, sassy, female characters (I so want to be River Song! Martha Jones was an actual Doctor (but there was the unfortunate mooning around unrequitedly)) If anything there's a bit of an overload of flirty fiesty, but then the doctor probably wouldn't travel with someone a bit more pedestrain...However, there is still a bit of 'hanging-around-waiting-for-the-doctor-to-save-you' whilst saying Doctor in a variety of expressions 'Doctor!' (angry!) 'Doctor! (pleading) 'Doctor! (alluring)...

Also - do you think there is ever a possibility of a female regenration and (of course) who would be the best actress for the role?

Hi Caitlin. If you could be Prime Minister for the day what policies would you introduce and which would you get rid of and why?

Hello Caitlyn

Loved HTBAW and am looking forward to reading your new book.

I saw you in Brighton while you were promoting HTBAW and really enjoyed your talk. Will you been doing another tour with the new one?

You have the most excellent eyebrows and also signed my copy = bezzie friends forever . Actually I met a woman who there seeing you too and we have become brilliant friends. You bring people together <hearts and flowers>

Hello Caitlin. Loving your work. I'd love to ask, if you could go back in time just for the purpose of re-living a specific part of your life, is there anything you would have done differently with the beauty of hindsight? (e.g terrible teen fashion choices, relationship choices, whatever.) Fanks!

Hello Caitlin,

Enjoyed your book and please tell your sister (the long suffering one with the unfortunate birthday who fought loads) that I think she sounds marvellous.
What is your best tried and tested hangover cure?

StitchThis- I remember the Mallen Streak. <gimmer>

IShall I've come across the 'real novels are written by men, women are just fiddling round the edges' attitude too - ugh! Have they not heard of Margaret Atwood, Donna Tartt, Zadie Smith, etc etc...?

Sorry for hijacking CatMo thread. As you were.

<crawls under hijack tarpulin to converse with marshmallow>

Well, you see, I kind of don't even want to bother with all of that - that listing off of names of brilliant female writers. Why should I or anybody have to do that? Why engage with or validate that kind of stupidity? If somebody isn't intelligent enough to consider that art/entertainment exists that is created by the other 50% of the human race, well...Maybe they're not such a Great Writer after all. Maybe I just end up pitying them for all of the things they will never know -never even begin to guess - about life and what it means to be human.

But, oh, some days my blood pressure, my blood pressure...

Hi Caitlin. LOVED your book. Caused me to laugh out loud in way too many public places though :-)

I have had so many of my friends tell me that they would love to be your best friend. So here's my question - does the relatively new found fame and recognition you've had since the book delight you, or does it begin to drag after a while? Obvs you're not Lady GaGa but I imagine it's changed your life in some ways and whilst you're not going to come on here and complain about all these people who now profess to love you, is there a part of you thinking "leave me alone, I'm not that great"?

Just to say EEEEEEeeeeeep it is T - 65 mins to Caitlin time!!!

IShall - yes, see what you mean about not reeling off lists of authors...but was thinking of those names partly in relation to scenarios where female authors are never even considered alongside men, e.g. the ongoing debate about the next Great American Novel - 'will it be by Jeffrey Eugenides or Jonathan Franzen?' Errr...why is Donna Tartt not on that list? Why is it always assumed the GAN will be by a man? She's a better novelist than either of them I think.

Or the similar discussions that go on about MA and the sci-fi genre 'can women write sci fi? yada yada yawn' - although I admit she doesn't like being pigeonholed as sci fi herself....but the assumption seems to be, the genre is for men & women are somewhere around the edges.

Hi Caitlin,

I have a question. Apart from the fact that you seem a great deal of fun, it is completely irrelevant to who you are and all you have done, but I thought I'd take a punt as I need to ask someone new and clever because no-one so far has come up with a satifactory answer-

My lovely group of friends is busily saving to go to Glastonbury festival next year (and stay in a bit of comfort), we don't have the chance get together much (or escape the children and drink with abandon) so my selfish question is-

Where do you recommend 5 girls go for £500 each if we don't get tickets?

Lol at all the girl crushes

I'm far too cool for that kind of thing.

I am absolutely of the opinion that HTBAW should be required reading for gels (and boys actually) of 12+ however would you consider something specifically aimed at teenagers/pre-teens?

When I was that age, we had Melanie in Just Seventeen, Cathy and Clare (although they were a bit sad), Paula Yeats (yes, really), our mothers' Cosmo...

Honest, open talk about sex and about standing up for yourself was there for us. I'm just not so sure that it is anymore. You would be fabulous at it.

ps I am coming to see you in Bath next month. Please will you wave at me <runs>

I can't think of any suitably intellectual questions so I am just coming on here to gush

Hi Caitlin, loved the book. I now have Quite The Crush on your sister, as well as your husband. Are you doing a biog thing soon? (or is that what the new one is?)

also. how's your vagina?

Also, could you use your clout whilst at MNHQ to get them to ask Jilly Cooper in for a webchat too, please?

excellent point, buppy. it's just a shame georgette heyer's died.

Yes, marshmallow, I follow those debates too and they make me so weary, like an awful lot of lip service is paid (e.g. to the likes of Jennifer Egan in the GAN debate; it just feels like poster names are trotted out - 'we're not dinosaurs, see we approve of this one noval written by Lady XXX') and then everyone gives a sigh of relief 'Glad that's all sorted then!' and turns back to their Hemingway.

In terms of sci-fi/fantasy: It fascinates me that some male writers dedicate their lives to alternate universes and futures yet don't have the leap of imagination to consider what the average woman's life might look like from the inside. You kind of want to force them to spend two hours on Mumsnet every day in the hope that they'd get a clue.

I don't know. BLAH!

'noval'? How embarrassing

Just want to muscle in on the action, still thinking of a question...

Don't worry, Curtsey. I put kisses at the end of my question. Now that's embarrassing.

<marks place>

Dear Caitlin,

You're about the same age as me, so do you remember back in the nineties, pre-Britpop, when it was ok (?normal?) for girls to wear shapeless, long, pretty defiantly unsexy clothes ( sadly, I remember grandad shirts and those awful stripy drawstring trousers). Nowadays women's clothes are all fitted and short, and girls at Glastonbury (me included) wear a full face of makeup.

Is this a good or a bad thing, do you think? Do you feel liberated? As a 30-something mum I just don't know if I am enjoying having to look alluring and on-trend on the fucking school run. (Don't want to go back to grandad shirts tho)

Big fan.

My question is- how do you get on with your mother ? Were/are you a bit annoyed that you had so many brothers and sisters when your house size and family finances were very strained.

Also interested inprevious poster's question about your views on childcare. It's been my mental and financial barrier for not returning to work straight away.

Mucho lovo.x

Hurrah!

<wonders what is in the MN biscuit tin>

<wine at the ready>

hob nobs??

Love your book, love you Twitter. </sucking uo>

We had a huge, very active discussion on MN a couple of days ago about banning page 3. What do you think of page 3?

Oh and please come and post on the MN Feminist boards any time

I love you, Caitlin <screams, faints>

Has there been any negative reaction to 'How To Be A Woman'? If so, what form did it take and how did you deal with it?

P.S. I still love you.

I'd be disgusted if there wasn't a custard cream involved.

Your comment about David Cameron looking like C3P0 made of ham makes me snigger on a daily basis. That is all.

screams as well [then runs...]

She's here!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<thud>

Caitlin, I was really struck by what you said about women and food:

"... Overeating is the addiction of choice of carers, and that’s why it’s come to be regarded as the lowest-ranking of all the addictions. It’s still a way of fucking yourself up whilst still remaining fully functional, because you have to. Fat people aren’t indulging in the ‘luxury’ of their addiction making themselves useless, chaotic or a burden. Instead, they are slowly self-destructing in a way that doesn’t inconvenience anyone. And that’s why it’s so often a woman’s addiction of choice…"

How do you think we should view the diet industry?

Hi Caitlin
Apologies if this has already been asked, I don't have time to read all the messages so far but:

After reading your batman piece in the Times last weekend, I wonder whether you are considering, or ever have considered, entering politics?

I will also be there at Cheltenham Lit Festival - really looking forward to seeing/hearing you! Ps I love your book HTBAW, so many things just made me say YESSSS! Especially things about handbags and shoes. But I agree with someone else that the only chapter that didn't quite ring true was the Lady Gaga one - do you think you were a little star struck? (sorry that's a second question).

Afternoon Caitlin. Another one who loved your book.

The only day of the week I buy the paper version of the Times is Friday because I get such pleasure from the look of Celebrity Watch and enjoy reading it that way much more (usually with tears of laughter and snorting so I scare the dog). Do you find a difference in how articles feel in print rather than digitally.

Has anyone asked your favorite biscuit yet? (I know, I know, technically two questions)

ps, we would so be BFF if we met

Argh, didn't proof read before posting as am giving toddler lunch, I am literate, I promise! The shame...

Raw nuts? What pussies.

Hardcore sugar laden calorific treats are what's needed.

Caitlin - Who is your fave jilly character and why?

Ooh good question Mrs CB

I read your book and it made me feel very, very tired. I think I am probably far too old to appreciate you. I wish you'd write some calmer stuff about parenting because I can imagine you are a very loving and supportive mum to your girls and it would be lovely to see that side of you. Do you ever feel that you have created a literary version of yourself and that people expect you to be a certain way?

Oh yeah, Bof, that food addiction comment blew me away too. It is absolutely on the money.

Thought as a book writer you'd be quicker at typing.

Get a wriggle on.

Just read your wikipedia article, what did you buy with those £250 worth of book vouchers in 1988? PLEASE ANSWER.

me too BoF/Wilf

Dear Caitlin,

When I grow up I want to be you.

One question - Echobelly or Sleeper?

don't just say books.

Huge fan

I had a similar childhood to yours but I was the fourth daughter so at least my knickers were from my sister not my mum and our tv treat was vinegar on toast not forked cheese.
It took me ages to get over the sense of not being quite good enough, not quite as bright and shiny as all my friends.
You never seem to have experienced that feeling of shame about poverty. Has it ever been an issue for you.

Caitlin, I loved your book. As someone mentioned above, I would love it if you would write a book aimed at preteen girls (without the swearing) to show them they don't have to conform and fit in with everyone else, life is so hard for girls of that age (and teenagers of course).

That bastard Gandhi? (You possibly had to be there. Hey, maybe you were!)

Thanks for answering my question, and BTW, I realise I used the wrong 'your' in my question. Embarrassing!!!! It was a typo, I'm not really a stupid. Honest!

Cmon, cmon, DO YOU still? You know, the thing...? THIS thing?

MN

We won't stalk you, promise.

Are you sure that's your vagina, not your vulva?

I reckon she's nipped out for a fag.

I read the book too, nodded along to a lot of it and gave it to my 15 year old daughter, who also liked a lot of it too.

I wasn't convinced by your argument about what to call a vagina, though. You say vaginas are 'straight-out bad luck' and that you don't have one, preferring instead a lot of words which are either a bit unpleasant (cf. 'minge', with all its overtones of 'minging', 'minger' and the fact that my mother in law refers to 'a mingy bit of cake' to mean a small portion.... yuck) or childish (cf. 'foof'). It seems as though you've taken on without question the negative associations with the word vagina, and responded by refusing the word and its actual meaning, which I kind of think is a shame.

Yes, a book for pre-teen girls would be marvellous. My eldest daughter is seven today (in fact, we are just about 10 minutes of exactly 7 years....) and I would love something to give to her in perhaps a couple of years.

I don't think the campaign is about "banning" Page 3, it's about asking The Sun to stop it. I'd be interested to know if Caitlin has a view on whether Page Three has any place in a civilised, equal society.

<sighs with joy at being on the same bit of computer space as Caitlin>

Pratchett, knew it, he has to be in there somewhere influencing the writing of all the greats.

I like the way you talk about Rihanna wearing a cardigan to prove that she is truly strong and I have already passed this on to my 11 year old girl and her bessie mate. They both rolled their eyes at me.

I also object, vociferously, to artists getting their baps out on MTV and I sound like my mum, denouncing their madness in kitting off when they could be equally entertaining in a mid thigh skirt and a nicely fitted tee shirt.

How the hell do I promote to my daughter (a) that I'm not a prude but (b) that getting your flesh out isn't the way to succeed? We've done the body hair talk, the fat/thin debate, the feminist implications of hair removal and the impact of porn on modern expectations...please...what do I do next to ensure she doesn't just become a sheep and conform to TOWIE standards just to attract some porn obsessed boy who treats her badly. And yes, I expect you to provide the answer to the universe. Surely that's your job now you're horribly famous and are on Mumsnet???

Do you regret using the world "retard" twice in your last book Caitlin?

I'm not sure that The Sun has any place in a civilised, equal society, especially after yesterday, but yes, answer that one!

Thanks for the answer! at 1970s slutty petticoat.

<never washes the keyboard again>

Come to my office next time you're webchatting. The place is powered by Fox's teatime variety. I may even share the bourbon creams with you. Maybe.

<save as wallpaper>

You sound like a fellow paper fetishist lover - where do you buy nice notebooks/etc these days?

I asked about Page 3 too, BTW!

Best. Webchat. EVER!

Thanks - I do see that, but in amongst a lot of awfully sensible stuff and good points, I did find the 'names for vaginas' bit a tad jarring.

My daughter gets irritated with me for 'always saying things are sexist', and the book was a good way for me to say 'look, this, this is what I mean! Except the stuff about calling it your minge!'

Cor. Young Brucie was a bit of a fox, weren't he? And he didn't wear pants!

Thank you. I was kind of hoping for a serious answer. May I take it you have signed the petition? I know you have been invited to on Twitter.

I get the desire to get our dds to read the book.
I made my 19 year old son read it. if some attitudes are to be changed I figure it helps if we get our sons on board.

Write one for teenage boys!

(we have agreed never to discuss the masturbation sections)

<coming in late to the party>

good picture Caitlin.

Question for you. Do you really like ladygaga that much? Or was it a hot and fast affair?

Didn't there used to be a 'page 7 hunk' many moons ago. They all looked like Nick the Dick from Bachelor Party IIRC. Just awful. If that was discontinued, surely page 3 should be as well.

Pag - yes - I gave it to dd with similar proviso!

I've only skimmed the thread so not sure if anyone has already asked this. Would you consider writing a book aimed at a younger audience? I love HTBAW and can't wait to pass it on to my girls but the oldest is only 6!

Soooo jealous of your hair by the way :-)

The girl who took the photo of Bruce (and little Bruce) was his girlfriend and she screeched at him to put his clothes BACK ON.

<boggles>

I wish there was a 'like' button for the picture of Bruce Springsteen...

i wonder whether that pic of the young Bruce would make men feel as uncomfortable as page 3 makes women feel uncomfortable IYSWIM.

Blimey, that Springsteen link is a bit special <dirty old woman emoticon>

Sir does dress to the right...somewhat

ps for anyone who hasnt clicked on the Bruce pic, it's Sringsteien not Forsyth

Nothing wrong with Wolverhampton!!!!

Love that, Loire & Albarino! Are you sure you are from Wolverhampton?

I don't actually know who you are you're a writer obviously as this thread tells me that!

please explain in 5 words what else I should know before I Google

What is this picture of Bruce you're all talking about? Where ...,.????

Hello Caitlin, are you compelled to try to be fantastically entertaining in all social situations, every day of the week? Or is your being-amusingness restricted to writing, and you're actually rather shy / grumpy / tedious / all of the above in RL?

Ooh found it! Yes, I like that!

She answered my question!

<faints>

Bruce is old news, even in his horny youth. It's all about Pistorius these days mate.

I can't see the Bruce photo because I'm at work

Flippityjig

You're most welcome

Absolutely, nigellasguest! I'm not sure Caitlin is taking women's feelings about Page3 very seriously.

Hmm. Still not really feeling the love for Gaga though.

My dad bought me Chronicles of Narmo when I was a teenager. It just made me feel inadequate for not being a child novelist prodigy like Caitlin.

<<ponders whether Caitlin Moran is asking herself questions using her MN name>>

Still LOVED HTBAW though

Hi Caitlin,
My first single was, 'The Safety Dance ' by 'Men without hats', beat that ...

Hello Caitlin!

I've just got here and haven't had a chance to read the Qs above, apologies if this has been asked already.

You didn't run, and now you do run and seem to love it. Please could you tell how you motivated yourself to get through the early days of terrible red-faced out-of-breath after 200 metres attempts to the point where it is enjoyable.

I would like to get past the first stages but fail miserably each time I haul my sagging 37 year old body out onto the streets and console myself with cake most times too

Many thanks

God, we soooo need an all female panel show, with Caitlin, Susan Calman, Sue Perkins, Shappi Korsandi and Sarah Milligan. Any other suggestions? Hosted by Sandi Tosvig of course!

Are you and MNer, Caitlin? or has that already been argued over sorted out upthead?

I have a sly question for you. I consider myself a bit of a feminist but I still go for the old Brazilian once a month... my DH likes it (and thing is... so do I). Is that an automatic red card crime in the real feminists gang? Do you have to have a huge muff piece to be a feminist? I thought it was more about having choices and being equal.

Oh and by the way, my husband immac's his ball bag. So I feel it evens out somewhat in our household...

My dh and I loved your book - my book club didn't get it so much but they are quite straight-laced!

I also love your Saturday Times TV reviews - my dh and I laughed and laughed at the bit about the squirrel with the large nuts on GBBO.

No question - just wanted to tell you that really - thanks for brightening our days!

Oooooh good question piggery

DillyTante, what a fab idea! That would be an amazing show .....

I'd watch that Dilly

Anyone know if Caitlin's tweeting about this at the same time?

Holy Rabbits!! That Bruce picture <hyperventilates>

Hi Caitlin,

I don't really have anything useful to say, except I think you're brilliant.
I'm proud to also come from Wolverhampton, I met one of your sisters at
a gig at the Molineux club once.

You rule.

Princess - no, Caitlin says keep it tidy and neat in the book!

can we not have Sarah Milican..i'm sick of her moaning about the size of her tits

That was my question culturemulcher but she is steadfastly not answering for fear we all swoon at her feet and follow her round like lovesick first years with the school prefect.

How about sanitary towels under the pits for the sweating problem?

Actually, no. Stay off of the tv. Often when entertaining people are on the tv they are then on EVERYTHING, and you hear the same stories over and over and they're not funny anymore.

Do you have RSI from tweeting? I imagine it's very hard on the thumbs after a while.

Oh God, not Toksvig.

Loved your interview of Jennifer Saunders on Radio 4 the other week; just brilliant.

Your husband immacs his bollocks?

This is my first webchat. Is it usually filled with weird sac related information and Bruce penis shots?

When is the next one ?

No - Mumsnet is re-tweeting some of it but I think she's got her hands full with three billion questions!

Great idea Dilly but not Sarah Milligan please - she's so annoying. But Sue Perkins big yes! And Caitlin of course [arse-lick emoticon]........

It so wasn't you frowns at screen

Claire Balding then Buppers?

and Bjork

I was eating a pork pie when I read the bit about immacing bollocks. I'm not now.

Too right re. free content. Wish someone clever could come up with a way of doing it that doesn't involve paywalls - via Google or Amazon or someone paying for content, maybe. <hollow laugh>

Come on people!
HTBAW was great but what about the "retard" comments?
What about saying porn is "fine"?

If I had bollocks I would Immac them all the livelong day, just because I could.

A big Balding YES!

ooohhhh my sister can do that too! hurl into a pint glass

and so can her DD..despite only being 9mths old at the time, she did it!

<preens at being exactly like CM>

I do actually pay <fawning alert> good solid money to Murdochs JUST because you write for that bloody rag, Caitlin. I said I wouldn't stalk. I must not stalk. I must not stalk.

Anyhoo, on women's comedy, Millican does talk about her tits the whole time but she's funny because she's utterly fearless. Few other women are in comedy - they kind of hold back. I'm sure I have picked this up from summat you've written actually...

I too am from the Midlands and loved "How to be a Woman" for it's refreshing approach to feminism, but also for reminding me of growing up in the same area at around the same time. I too was partial to a cheese lollipop. Do you by any chance remember Ovaltine chocolate? Please, you are my last hope!

Lucy Mangan?

She DIDN'T say porn is fine.

(sorry)

Why don't we ask her? She's here, you know.

But regrowth would mean bollocks with a buzz cut, like teeny tiny little skinheads.

Did you vote in the last election?

were you happy with the outcome

I think you need to stop thinking about the immac'd bollocks Pag

Prickly bollocks would cause chaffage, surely? <imagines men up and down the country wincing as they walk>

My Immac-ed bollocks would look like Buster Bloodvessel.

I'm 51 and writing my first book while doing a creative writing MA and to do this I've had to murder my sodding husband, kids, four dogs and three hens change my priorities a tad. Please tell me it's never too late to become a writer? [I know, that's not so much a question as a shameless can I lean on your shoulder a moment ]

Yes. I am focusing on the wrong thing. Sorry.

I thought that she said (IIRC) that the base concept of porn was fine (i.e it's just two people boffing), wasn't all that keen on the industry/the way female performers are treated and was lobbying for some kind of free-range porn.

IIRC. I read HTBAW ona sun lounger in Corfu, tanked up on Mythos.

Caitlin, are you bored of having to explain and apologise about the 'retard' thing? I would be.

When you take the hair off apparantly they stick - so my husband told me.

I'm talking about bollocks btw.

Ahem. Porn is"just some people fucking"
Apparently.
Thank you for the apology.
Although my son who has sen and is only 9 and would never use that term so not sure your age at the time is a valid excuse.

Who is your favourite Jilly Cooper character/ which is your favourite book?

Pag. Thankyou. . Thankyou for that giant laugh.

It's not hurtful to anyone, if it's great lovely sex that everyone's having a totally pleasant time during.

Oh God. I can feel the sanctimonious comments rage building.

A bit like smooshing your face against a window, MoveIt? Smeary.

hey catlin.
what band was that arsehole boyfriend in when you stoke the maracas???

What was that noise? Oh, it was Buppers gaysploding because Caitlin spoke to her...

Can we come?

Retard was widely used in the 80s. It was. We know better now.

We'll be good. We'll stand at the back and laugh in all the right places.

Shut your blowhole Tobes, before I shut it for you.

<skips off happily>

Someone indulge her, please.

Hi Caitlin, am a big fan and loved HTBAW. Also envied you so horribly during my teenage years for having been the child prodigy novelist I wanted to be that I had to avoid everything you wrote for fear I'd explode with jealousy. Sorry!

Anyway I've now got over my need to be a novelist (by tring to write 3 books and not being able to finish one) and am embracing other talents and interests. Have you had any dreams that you had to let go of,or big disappointments about who you are vs who you wanted to be?

WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE BISCUIT?

(I'm going with the sadly-defunct Trio)

Has anyone else begun to spontaneously hum "It was acceptable in the '80's" ?

What is your favourite biscuit?

Caitlin what's your favourite biscuit?

I'm betting on an Orange Club.

Hey Caitlin, do you fancy coming to talk to Malago WI? We'd love to have you and would make your very favourite cake in honour of the occasion, and the fact you're our dream speaker

PS <whispers> go on then, what's your favourite biscuit?

Tell me Caitlin...what is your favourite biscuit ?

menswear?

What IS your favourite biscuit? Don't keep us waiting ...

Hi Caitlin, I'm a big fan of "How to be a Woman" and passed it round all my friends. Since I don't have a witty/intelligent question, I'll be the one to ask about your biscuit..

My pound's on Gold bar

Major cross post there - so yes do tell!

Oreos

Would you ever consider becoming an MP? Aside from merely voting (and adopting a more tolerant and less judgy attitude towards hairy minges and porn and other stuff) what do you think us feminists should be doing to change the status quo?

It must be Wagon Wheels!

Chocolate hob nob, fo sho.

I asked ages ago what your favourite biscuit was <sulks> like, like before 1pm. Humph.

Ha ha, like those sticky things you throw at a wall and then watch slowly make their way down.

Oh Christ, not Menswear.

Have you ever actually seen any porn like that Caitlin?
I haven't.
And wrt the retard comment I also think its pretty sad that it got thought the whole editorial process without being taken out.
I am sorry if some people think its tiresome or boring to point out disablist words and phrases.
Actually I'm really not!

It wasn't Ned's Atomic Dustbin was it?

Digestives with cheddar, good choice.

<ahem> Did you mean Damien Lewis?

<runs>

TheBlackShiksa asked the biscuit question ages ago.

We've asked you already, loads. But it was way up there

That's what twitter does to your attention span, see?

Poor TheBlackShiksa asked the biscuit question yesterday!

"Has anyone else begun to spontaneously hum "It was acceptable in the '80's" ?"

I totally was!!!

Please answer my question
thanks

Calvin Harris?

Digestives with jam and cream cheese. better.

There was a veritable shriek when I realised we had the same wedding venue!

anyway, do you think your daughters will find life as a woman easier?

I think we are the generation who were promised that we could have it all and have ended up just being very tired. I hope that men will up their game as the years go on to make it more culturally acceptable to share parenting (part time working, picking them up when they're ill, school plays etc) and women's careers won't get such a shafting.

But then I look at the princess parties and the porn, and the glittery shoes and silly nails, and just get depressed.

and the fake tans and silly eyebrows - when I spent my early 20s in the pub with a boy's haircut and a stripy t shirt.

I have boys - so I'm doing my best to teach them proper and what not, but I worry.

It wouldn't be Ned's because Caitlin said "Neds aren't a band who are particularly sensitive or intelligent. They're Jonn and four other ugly whining c***s who wouldn't know a razor, hairbrush or cohesive argument, even if it was wrapped up with string and shoved up their arses"



I am friends with one of the Neds and it still cuts him to this day that she said that.

Caitlin, are there any good stories that you know which involve tomato pips and 50p pieces? I'd sure love to hear one.

Yes it was Damien Lewis.....swoon....

"It wasn't Ned's Atomic Dustbin was it? "

Oooh did you go out with one of them? I know one of them now.

Damian Green used to be my MP. Now an MEP (I think). Absolutely NOT HOT.

Any plans to write another book, a sequel?

NO he isn't

Menswe@r Bups. You forgot the '@'

I knew a girl who got off with one of them. He wasn't very nice apparently. I liked the one who looked a bit like Richard Beckinsale. They were dire though.

"It wouldn't be Ned's because Caitlin said "Neds aren't a band who are particularly sensitive or intelligent. They're Jonn and four other ugly whining c***s who wouldn't know a razor, hairbrush or cohesive argument, even if it was wrapped up with string and shoved up their arses"

grin

I am friends with one of the Neds and it still cuts him to this day that she said that."

Oooh I'm wondering which one because I know one of them too, and he is lovely, and v intelligent as a grown up.

I thought we started all the '* runs into room *' type stuff back on Popbitch?

Hmm?

This thread has made me smile, Caitlin responded to my non question. Crave a Trio and Gold biscuit. And, wonder about the logistics of men Immac-ing their balls.
I'd call that a productive afternoon. I'm off for a lie down.

I've got another one Caitlin, if no one's asked already - how do you keep your hair looking so fabulous?

tomato pips and 50p pieces? The mind boggles. Pour some wine down her throat and make her talk.

damien green

For the love of god have a drink then please!
or two.

Shite. Turns out he's still my MP. I really ought to pay attention.

Damian Green is an MP....I've tweeted you a pic of him....and er...no. Not hot. Well, he's young Bruce Springsteen that's for sure !

FGS Give her a biscuit and bourbon. I need to know about the tomato pips and 50p.

So we're all invited tonight, then?

<stuck record emoticon>

I thought it was popbitch that started it too.

Is Olivia there? She's the one with gin in her desk.

Will you be doing anymore radio Caitlin?

he's *NOT a young Bruce Springsteen !!!

Damian Green MP. The first man ever linked to on MN who has not made me go HUBBA HUBBA.

DillyTante, I wonder which one too! The one I know is a great guy!

Oh, and please answer the question about running, that was a good question.

Oh radio, yes! I LOVED the teenage diaries programme.

This IS the best webchat ever (well, maybe not as good as Sherererezerearde) not just because of Caitlin, but because it's got ace MNetters and great stories! And only one post on her new book so far even though she is supposed to be publicising it. Refreshing change not to have all the answers start "well, in the book I say..."

Christ alive Bruce. <rubs thighs>

Please will someone pour the lady a drink to go with those nuts you;ve got there?

there's a new book?

Thanks for answering my question (am swooning slightly in a girl-crush kind of way). I know what you mean about realising that you want to be nice. That's age, it comes to us all eventually .

Hi Caitlin.

What do you think about Parent and Child/Toddler parking spaces at supermarkets?

OMG I need to get my shit together, CM answered me TWICE.

The first answer I've ever had on a MN webchat since I was fairly rude to Nick Clegg on his and he got all arsey with me!

<proud>

Teenage Diaries programme?? I missed that, was it it R4?

Poor TheBlackShiksa also asked about hair

You know we're all going to buy it anyway, Dilly. And so does Caitlin. So she can talk about hair and biscuits and poncy wine while remaining secure in the knowledge that we'll all give her our money regardless.

This is the best webchat ever. Mentions of Popbitch, Menswe@r, shagging popstars and Trio biscuits.

And Caitlin Moran, obvs.

Justine was able to get her hands on a picture of Damian Green ever so quickly....

I agree, Dillytante. But I will always be proud of asking Naomi Wolf of why she didn't analyse her mouth-arse connection instead of the brain-vagina one.

Anyone else finding that they're looking at the SBruce picture very, very frequently?

For the love of everything can Olivia give her some bloody gin please.

Caitlin, I think you're great simply because you have the same name as me.

So glad I can be a fuzz-free feminist. Phew!

Sorry to those offended / disturbed / confused by the thought of a hair free teste satchel It's really not as weird as you think

Hi Caitlin,

are you watching Lord of the Rings trilogy again this Christmas?! Love this idea, we've started doing this with Star Wars!!

The Bruce thing made my year.

Isn't snogging brilliant

There you go Caitlin, order is restored in the universe

question was whats your ipod playlist when running?

I lookat it very frequently, culturemulcher. Very frequently. It's my laptop wallpaper.

I can't find the actual running question now, but it was something like

you hated running, you now like it, what has changed?

Noooo my running question was how did you motivate yourself from being a non-runner to being someone who seems to enjoy running? Pleease!

Have netaporter finally agreed to give you stuff for free?

Another Web Chat highlight BOF, true.

Must go back to work and chip away at the coal face of learning. And I know you've actually Spoken To Me. But... please tell me you sometimes sit at your desk eating chocolate and going fuck I have no idea what to write and I'm going to never eat again and I just can't... ...and then once you start you get verbal diarrhea and write all night on coffee and Haribo and then tell your husband he has to take the kids to school and no you won't load the fucking dishwasher. And then crash into bed berating yourself for your indiscipline before waking up to do the school run in your crumpled 2 day clothes followed by a bottle of wine to drown the guilt? Please? I really, really detest hearing about writers who line up all their pencils before bed every evening and then do an hour of meditation followed by three productive hours of writing and then some vigorous exercise after lunch.

I am rubbish at web chats. I love Caitlin and had loads of questions in my brain but to totally thrown by Bruce and buffed balls.

I am going to search Moranthology on audiobook . <sulks>>

Here's the running one:

PiggeryJokery Thu 13-Sep-12 13:24:44
Hello Caitlin!

I've just got here and haven't had a chance to read the Qs above, apologies if this has been asked already.

You didn't run, and now you do run and seem to love it. Please could you tell how you motivated yourself to get through the early days of terrible red-faced out-of-breath after 200 metres attempts to the point where it is enjoyable.

I would like to get past the first stages but fail miserably each time I haul my sagging 37 year old body out onto the streets and console myself with cake most times too

Thanks for the webchat and Bruce.

Caitlin, hi. Bit of an odd one, this.

Are any of your friends in real life flat-chested? I'm not that good at the whole girl thing, and reckon it's because I have no tits to speak of.

Any thoughts? Bet most of your proper mates have handfuls of them!

Hello caitlin

Do you think that the journalists that get the most attention, also get wealthy and comfortable, so that they end up writing only about the lives of the comfortable, and this means society as it is does not reflect itself through a journalists art, but only the nice bits because that's what Journos see as normal (ignoring that great mass of small time journos who earn a crust working for the local rag/their blog etc who have little voice, consequently) ?

you know, Journos may write a very nice piece about an inconvenience they encountered at Waitrose, publish it in the Times,and someone like me reads it and thinks 'That Shit is Just Normal At TESCOS!' ...

I find sometimes the lifestyle journalism i read is not that of a bigger fish in the same pond, but possibly a fish from a completely different, bigger, cooler pond, with waiters and canapes.....

I greatly enjoyed your chain reaction interview with Tim Minchin, it was funny there are many questions i'd ask about that, but i'll stick with the above one.

OMG I love Game of Thrones - I just really hope he doesn't die before finishing the next book.

Parsnips. Surely they must be English?
Reading your new book, my snorts were almost loud enough to drown out the sound of my small dog savaging the dog-groomer. As a 42 year old writer who grew up in the wilds of Wolverhampton, I salute you. Long may you rant.

I can't think of a clever question, but I LOVE YOU. That is all.

I am strangely proud to use the exact same hair products although possibly smaller quantities!

I have only recently read HTBAW and enjoyed it although i did fine some bits contradictory. Anyway, i lent it to my bff who happens to be a single hot shot lawyer. Even though she enjoyed it she said she felt self conscious reading it on the train. Why can't some people accept that they are a feminist and that's a positive thing? It's frustrating.

And more inane question, red or white?

Bruce was a gift to the whole of Mumsnet.

yes it is! the enemy is also good

Oh Bugger, i wanted to ask if she had read the Naomi Wolf webchat.

Catching up late - I blame the pic of Bruce for throwing me off my stride. HOLY SMOKES and I've never even been a fan before now...

Waves at Caitlin You're awesome! That is all. Ironically I'm supposed to be writing at this very moment - you both inspire me and distract me at the same time.

Yay! that answer will please both me (as questioner) and my OH the big Bowie fan in our house (FYI Chemical brothers/ Mogwai for my running list)

Just realised I have sort of had two mini conversations with CM! does this mean we're BFF now? Can I borrow your blue DMs?

Fab webchat.

Thanks for an entertaining hour

Cameron will totally be reading this and searching shots of Bruce for his next webchat. And will bring Damien too I expect.

I love b* even if you even if you didn't answer my question, byebyebye!!!!

Great chat but what was she wearing in the twitter pic? (ooops, hope she's not still outside the door listening)

<<waves>> I love you Caitlin...

<goes off to follow Caitlin on twitter>

<easily lead emoticon>

<sigh> well that was great. Best web chat ever. <Gavel>

I heart this webchat so much I am pretending not to notice the baby monitor flickering accusingly on the counter. DON'T JUDGE ME.

Hi Caitlin, I am joining webchat late so hope this hasn't been already asked...What would you say is the most important thing to teach your daughters? Have a DS and just had a DD- the differences are huge in boys and girls.

PS I love your columns - always make sure I get the Times on Friday and I sit and read it to my husband at lunchtime and we p* ourselves laughing ! Thank you for all the laughs . Your Chain reaction with Jennifer Saunders was brilliant..

I can't belive she didn't tell the tomato pips story :-(

Fab webchat MN !!!
Caitlin is superb and my ultimate tweeter

Tell us bobbi

She would have told the tomato pips story if Olivia had shown up with the gin in time

I can't believe I missed it. [saddest face ever]

Darn it ..typed way tooo slowly .

Olivia I made an urgent call for you and now we've missed a goodie. <disappointed>

The new Marian Keyes is out?
<runs to Amazon>

We needed 3 hours not one to cover everything properly IMO

Come on Bobbi, you know you want to .............

Brilliant! Thank you.

yes, could they not be a little longer?

<narrows eyes at Shiirley, strokes beard>

HA!

Yes, she does the RANDOM CAPITAL LETTER things as well doesn't she.

<sigh>

She's so FUCKING cool.

oh she is a darling, i think. gives good chat.

She's a bit of a larf eh?

ARGH. I MISSED IT

So she didn't answer the question about Julian Assange then?



It's quite a big feminist issue atm. I would have thought that the media's favourite feminist (apart from Naomi Wolf obv) would have a view on it that she'd like to share with mumsnetters.

<Wonders>

Blimey! I think you need to get her back to answer the other five million questions that were asked! Sorry I missed it. It is my dream to have her follow me back on Twitter <deluded face>

yy Caitlin (she is listening outside) you should follow me BIWI. She's super

She didn't answer my question but I didn't think she would.

What I wanted to ask outright but didn't quite have the nerve is about her 'not being nasty about people' stance in her writing & on Twitter. It's a great philosophy & one of the reasons I love her, but, BUT, there are some other female writers on Twitter, some of whom are/were CM's Twitter friends, who I have seen being really nasty & spiteful to other women on there.

Now I realise that a) it's not CM's job to police her friends b) there's two sides to every story and maybe I didn't see the other side and c) perhaps she's not such good friends with these people any more but I wish others could live by her rule of just being a bit damn nicer to people.

I would love it if CM was Twitter's dinner lady who could make the mean girls go off and sit in the corner to THINK ABOUT WHAT THEY DID!

oh yes that Blardy Emma Kennedy, who does she think she is? (she invented the word fucktard dontchaknow, and apparently it's got nothing to do with retards).

Hmm well I did some googling & perhaps there really ARE two sides to every story.

Still, I love that CM seems to rise above it all and doesn't get into fights. She really should be Twitter's dinnerlady.

not with you re two sides to every story, mmpies. do you mean emma kennedy?

Do share marshmallow

I googled it to try & find out the origins of the nastiness I saw on Twitter. Now not entirely sure who started the spat & what it was over, I just saw some really nasty tweets directed at her & assumed she was the injured party.

should concentrate on own life & not worrying about whether certain slebs are friends on Twitter or not.

Either way, CM

Oops that should have said CM was not part of any nastiness that I've seen on Twitter.

I missed this

The article she wrote about how dreadful library closures are is the finest piece of journalism I have ever had the privilege of reading.

I can't wait to read Moranthology; I have to wait until Christmas though because my mum's already bought it for me.

Who are you on Twitter, marshmallows? Do I follow you already?

JenaiMarr my twitter name has part of my real name in so it would out me on here

Ooh - as well as CM's article about libraries there was also her very brilliant, very sad piece on what it was like growing up with parents on disability benefit. Worth reading if you can find it online somewhere, pay wall or otherwise...

Feck feck feckity feck I missed it! And I was in the house and DS2 was asleep and everything.

Thanks, everyone, for asking some great questions and most of the ones I'd have asked and THANKS Caitlin for coming! Please come back soon. I luff you much, and now I know you run to an exclusive Bowie soundtrack, I think I may just have come slightly.

Missed it all due to bloody work.

I had sex with one of Menswe@r, Simon.

Live here now!

Thank you so much for that link, Nan, I'm really enjoying it.

Thanks Nan

For all my being mean about Menswe*@*r ; I had a t-shirt. And saw them twice. I never had relations with any of them though.

I wish I could wear green eyeshadow like caitlin, just makes me look ill

I thought everyone had slept with Menswear?

also, for this, I love you a lot - "Moved on to Game of Thrones. LOVING the multi-world. Also LOVING my new imperious catchphrase, "I am Khaleesi", whenever I want someone to buy me a drink. "Khaleesi needs a drink." "Khaleesi is going to the toilet." "Khaleesi has just done a little sick.""

Nan, you just need to find the right shade of green. One with gold tone to it perhaps? Darker greens are fabulous when a bit more metallic. I have a bit of a thing for green eyeshadow

Ooh I think I met Caitlin in London! Have just checked FB and she's a friend of a friend.. I feel very special now

Nan - thanks for the link!

I like those big palettes of cheap make up that you get from supermarkets at Christmas, the ones designed for aunties to give their teenage neices. There are always a few greens in those.

Only problem is making sure you put the same colour on each eye.

I'm going to do it, I'm going to go out IN PUBLIC wearing green spangly eyeshadow.

On your head be it!

<drama queen>

buy this one it's cheap, you can build the colour, and it stays on

I used to slaver my eyelids in vaseline and stick holographic glitter to them. I used to be cool.

Watching her at the Bloomsbury is like reading all the MN Classics threads at once.

well, i could just use some of dd's glittery glue.....

If you do go with the glittery glue Nan, please pop a photo on your profile

Watching the show now. She went for the DMs and flowery dress then. I love the way she's trailblazing 90's stuff again. I was never as happy in my clothes as I was in the 90's and it's inspired me to dust off my DMs.