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I love you claire. You seem so caring & considerate & i think it's great you're making a programme to help tell parents all the different ways of parenting in 1 place.
Keep up your great work.
Clarissa.
at the risk of boring you all, Claire Verity will be on Victoria Derbyshire's show on BBC Radio Five Live at 9am tomorrow if you have anything you'd like to say to her. call 0500 909 693 for free. listen on 909 or 693 MW or through your telly if you're on digital.
susiecutie...Sorry I missed your question! The Close Baby Carrier is designed to distribute the weight of the baby across both your shoulders, your back and most importantly you hips, which in turn distributes the weight to your legs (the strongest part of your body). If you already have a back problem and you are carrying your baby a lot, a sling is going to make your life easier and your back problem shouldn't change. My guess it because Close has such nice wide comfy straps, it will suit you because you can really stretch them out. Give me a shout and we can discuss it further over email. claire@closeparent.com.
<<<I have a very bad back problem, but loved holding my dd in a sling. I was given a wilkinet sling and it has been great, and not placed too much strain on my back. Now she is 9 months now and alot bigger, I still love to pop her in the sling from time to time but really feeling it on my back now.
Is your sling designed to be safe for mums with bad backs? does it give enough support for such problems?
do you know anyone who's used one with a back problem, and has been ok? i'm interested in trying one... >>>
thanks again, i'd appreciate it Carrie, but understand you make no promises
Hi, we're going to be talking about the methods used on Bringing Up Baby on the Victoria Derbyshire programme on BBC Radio Five Live tomorrow morning (Fri 5th). You can ring us and speak to the Daisy Goodwin from Channel 4 and share your views on the best way to bring up your baby. We're on air from 9am, the number is free to call on 0500 909 693. We're hoping Claire Verity will be on too but we're still in negotiation about that! If you'd be happy for us to ring you about this to kick the discussion off, please email victoria@bbc.co.uk and I'll call you back.
Sorry Claire, not sure why answers haven't come through, but we'll post them here for you. Thanks again
Here are the answers!
By CoolBecx on Wed 03-Oct-07 19:26:51
Hi Claire,
I have a 4wk old daughter and prior to the screening of 'BUB' we were already noticing that she was much more content when in arms and sleeping close to us. Since watching i have ordered sling and done some reading around the C Concept and think it is the way forward for our family. So the following are my questions.
-what did you wear to bed in order to stay warm yourself but also ensure baby has access to breast during the night?
From Claire: I pretty much always wore nothing. I used blankets etc to keep me warm.
CoolBecx: - what position did you sleep in to encourage the baby to help herself during the night? I have being sleeping with baby in crook of my arm on her back as nervous about giving her free reign.
Claire: I also slept with my baby in the crook of my arm. What do you mean you are nervous about giving her free reign? Free reign of the bed? Your boob?
CoolBecx: - Did you wake when the baby fed in the night? I am worried she will snuggle in too close and my big boobs will cause her problems.
Claire: Sometimes. Certainly in the early days. Less to not at all when she got older. For what it's worth, I had huge boobs (g cup) and they were actually bigger than her head when she was born. At the beginning I watched as she fed to ensure her nose was clear.
CoolBecx - can you direct me to any co sleeping guidelines as you did not talk about these on the show? Or describe how you achieved this safely with your own children.
Claire: I did talk about them on the show, however they only left the basics in after editing. I have gone into them above.
Please see http://www.dvh.nhs.uk/downloads/documents/SRAQZ8W5WYGuidelines_for_BedSharing.pdf for current governmental guidelines
CoolBecx -How do you avoid leaking milk during the night if not wearing bra or pads?
Claire: You tend to get leaky books in the early days before your boobs have adjusted to your baby's needs. I wore a bra in bed in those days with a breastpad.
CoolBecx - I am due to return to work at 8 mths (am trying to prolong this to a yr but not guarenteed - long story!). This will be 2.5 days a week. How can i continue with the concept sucessfully?
Claire: Please see my answer above regarding returning to work. However it is great that you only have to return 2.5 days a week. I would also enlist as much help from family and friends that you can. Perhaps hiring a caring local teenage to come in and hold your baby. Are you able to take a lunch break and go home to your baby then? Can the carer bring the baby to work for a feed? There are lots of avenues you can look into.
CoolBecx -You say that you went out and met other mums to extend your 'tribe'. Did you do this with mums that were following the concept?
Claire: Yes, mums that were and weren't. I was willing to travel to meet mums who followed the continuum concept. I also met with a lot of mums locally that weren't following TCC, but that loved cooking / cleaning etc with me. I had to meet these women, then developed a relationship with them that extended outside the normal coffee mornings. This is what I would describe as a community.
CoolBecx -When out and about with baby in sling did you just carry a rucksack with essentials in?
Claire: I can't rememeber!! But this is what my business partner, Martine does.
CoolBecx - what clothing would you recommend for baby to wear
(CB) a) in bed? (Claire Little to nothing. Your body and the blankets will regulate her temp.
(CB) b) in sling? (in diff weathers) (Claire: )Dress according to weather, but always be conservative. Your body heat will keep him warm.
CoolBecx- My health visitor is pretty negative about me adopting this approach - can you recommend anywhere else i can look for support with the c,concept?
Claire: www.continuum-concept.org
CoolBecx: I could possibly go on but figure 10 questions is pretty greedy :-)
Claire: Thank You.
By SharpMolarBear on Thu 04-Oct-07 07:42:34
Q for anyone who can answer about co sleeping - prob not one for CS
The CC woman was shown sleeping with her baby and the baby helped itself to her breast through the night. How did she manage to swap breasts (bearing in mind she was probably feeding at least every 2 hours)? Does she have to roll over (inc baby) after each feed?
From Claire: I tended to swap sides and take the baby with me. Or as my boobs were quite large, I was sometimes able to lean for the top one to reach down. It's all personal choice and adapting tp what works for you.
By LadyTophamHatt on Thu 04-Oct-07 07:57:24
what I'd like to know, but I don't think you'll answer is how much you got paid to be a part of that programme??
From Claire: I got paid more than £4,000 and less than £6,000. But don't tell anyone ;-)
LTH: I agree with Nadine. I just don't get the need for parenting gurus. We all have instincts, every single one of us...even if they aren't very strong. Just follow them and they'll get stonger. We don't need to line the pockets of gurus to know how to be a parent.
Sorry Claire, nothing personal.
Claire: That's ok. I understand why many people think this. And I actually agree wholeheartedly. However, we don't live in a society where we are exposed on a daily basis to baby and child care that is instinctual. You are right, we all have instincts, but when women try and listen to these they are constantly undermined by health professionals, experts, books, family and friends. It is very difficult, ney on impossible for many women to acknowledge and act on their instincts. I felt my role on Bringing Up Baby was to affirm women who want to parent in this way and to give information to others that were interested. We need to model this type of parenting to make parenting gurus disappear and become superfluous.
PS, I have never labeled myself as a guru / expert etc. This has all been PR. I'm just a MUM!!
By welliemum on Thu 04-Oct-07 07:58:36
Dear Claire
Are you getting a bit narked off by now because all the questions on here are about Claire Verity?
From Claire: I can understand why there has been such a huge reaction to Claire Verity. I feel very strongly about her methods and I think that this level of debate and discussion is the first line to change.
Thank you Claire. Unfortunately alternatives for dd don't seem so appealing (she's milk intolerant), but one day we'll reach a point where she doesn't ask for 'bibboo' 100 times!
itchTwoOh
I was never, ever involved in anything CV did. So I have no idea I'm afraid on what involvement health visitors had with her families. However I am aware, as we prob all are, that Channel 4 is really only mirroring society and this way of parenting is actually quite prevalent in this country.
Well folks I think that's your lot for now. As soon as Claire stops typing long enough to be able to look at email she should have the second half of the answers she prepared in advance (that JJ was tweaking so you could read them easily). So all those who've been waiting patiently for a response, it's coming any minute now.
If anyone has a burning query that they still haven't had an answer to, do post it and Claire has said that, if she can, she'll come back in the next couple of weeks and answer.
That said, we think she's done an amazing job to get through so much in one short chat so big thanks from all at MNHQ.
castsspellswitchyspells
I never denied constant breast access as my toddler got older but I would offer alternatives, and alot of the time she was happy with that. Plus, their need in toddlerhood for milk isn't as urgent as it is in babyhood and I made the point to my toddler that if I was busy, then she needed to wait. Know in your heart that you are doing the right thing and your child will hear this and respect it. Involving her in what you are doing is a great way if you really want to distract! Being calm and confident is the key. You are doing a fantastic job!
What a fab lady CS is!
Missed the live feed but reading through she was excellent!
Am similarly unsurprised and appalled at the editing which has cost a lot of that very very important breastfeeding support by LLL et al to be lost.
The value of that to mothers who are struggling cannot be counted IMO
If we still have time - is there any way to have a toddler in a back sling and him not try to wriggle out monkey style to see my eyes and poke me in the mouth?
Sorry Munchpot, I must have missed it!
I always loved having this way of life, which is why I have decided to promote and advocate it. But it can't suit everyone and doesn't make you a bad mother. I always think the most important aspect is to listen to your child and try to meet their needs without judgement and question as to whether they are trying to manipulate us or not.
I actually get lots of time and space to myself now my children are older. Cliche again...but their babyhood goes so fast! Maybe I'll have another one:-)
Great chat - am really enjoying it, but think you might have missed my question (was at beginning of live discussion)
By Munchpot on Thu 04-Oct-07 13:24:20
Didn’t you Claire (and the others who followed TCC) ever just want to get away from your child? I may just be a bad mother, but having demand fed and bed-shared with my first (not really by choice) for almost 2 years I desperately wanted my own bed/space back. So when next babes came along I made a point of always feeding and settling them in their own room (after six months) and introduced a bit of routine and we were all much happier/got more sleep. Did you never feel like that? And if you didn’t, did your partner not feel they wanted their bed/life back?
BlueberryPancake
I think as a species we are strong enough to carry, even heavier babies around. But you are right. the premise of TCC is that all members of the tribe are involved. This is one of the difficulties of parenting in this manner in our modern world. There are lots of tips to getting together a tribe; I really recommend enlisting as much help from family, friends and other local mums. Please see an article on www.clairescott.info by Teresa Pitman about finding your tribe
Think I might miss the end of this as have to go for a bit (blinking children ) but want to say thank you to CS for coming and answering everything so well. I'd be interested in contacting you in future re bf support promotion in the UK - would that be OK? My email's hunkermunker at gmail dot com (hope this is OK, MNHQ).
VeronicaMars
Some dads just aren't around as much as the mums and therefore baby gets more used to mum. I would suggest that dad starts by putting baby in a carrier and going for walks on his own. Or doing a job around the house. Developing a special bond away from you may really help in him settling baby at night.
Claire - if the basis of TCC is to carry the baby and allow access to the breast at all times, at what age do you start to not carry them all the time, and when would you start to deny the constant breast access? My 19 month old dd would happily still have access to my breasts around the clock, but it just isn't realistic for me to allow this at this age. Where do you draw the line?
I hope I've not missed you.. I did post a question last night ( well aitchtwoo did on my behlf)
I have a verry bad back problem, but loved holdong my dd in a sling. I was given a wilkinet sling and it has been great, and not placed too much strain on my back. Now she is 9 months now and alot bigger, I still love to pop her in the sling from time to time but really feeling it on my back now.
Is your sling designed to be safe for mums with bad backs? does it give enough support fr such problems|?
do you know anyone who's used one with a back problem, and has been ok? i'm interested in trying one...
theUrbanDryad
From what I saw, there was little to no involvement from health professionals during filming. Apart from when I called the LLL to come and see Grace (and she was fantastic!). From what I understand they showed the complete series to Drs after it was finished. However! I cannot be quoted on that I this may not be the case!
Thanks Claire, It was kind of what I expected anyway. (I have had two dc's with a previous partner and bf the second, unless I genuinely needed someone else to feed him)
DP is also a bit worried about co-sleeping in that he would lay on baby, is it shown to be safer for the baby to be in the middle of mum and dad or on mums side away from dd??Or does this not matter?
It's wonderful that you are your DH like the ideas. And with regard to you DH feeding, this is actually the only physical thing he 'can't' do. You could express, but I wouldn't suggest it before 6 weeks as it could affect your milk supply. Plus I truly believe that dads and their babies can have a terrific relationship without the requirement of feeding them. Look how much more bonding co sleeping dads get!
By the way, I use the Close baby carrier and it's fantastic! The perfect mix of security, comfort, practicality and yes - style (I want me and my baby to look good too)
"This does sound awful, however I am not convinced that this conditions were caused by carrying their babies. A sling is simply a tool to make your life easier giving you your hands free when you would normally be carrying your baby. Were these women also involved with very arduous physical work? "
Yes, Claire, they are very hard working people. I agree that it is not an equal comparaison, but wouldn't you agree that carrying a 10 - 12- 14 pounds load on your front or back all day can cause back problems? Also, isn't it true that in real life tribal, the baby is 'passed around' to be carried by different people and with today's reality, a mum at home will be by herself a lot of the time. I'm struggling with the idea of having this constant weight - my 'common sense' really tells me that it will hurt! I now carry my 6 month old in a sling a lot of the time when we go out and it feels so good when I put him down...
Thank you for your reply. I agree with you. Let's start a new movement called: Make It Up as We Go Along and Do What Feels Right To Us At the Time and Get By on a Wing and a Prayer and The Belief that All will be Well.
I agree, Alex is brilliant, so cool and relaxed about it all so is a perfect example. I've carried my DS since birth, not 24hrs a day but a lot more than most, and with 2 older boys just don't know how anyone can get anything done without a sling... for me it's the only way to get through the day and enjoy my baby at the same time. What I think is atrocious about CV's method is the enjoyment, bonding and love she is depriving parents of as well as babies. DS is 9 months, trying to walk but still lights up when he sees me putting my sling on so obviously loves being carried.
I had a section with my first son and couln't manage with the sling I bought. I am keen to try again when the second arrives...I would like to know about co-sleeping...I co-slept with my first and was freezing with no duvet or blanket to avoid overheating my son (in his own blanket). One night i must have brought the duvet up around myself and I found him the next morning down around my knees!!! It really scared me...how can I safely co-sleep and keep warm?
ahundredtimes
I do think it has got totally out of hand and I have never professed to being a guru or expert myself ~ just a mum! But I believe that we have got to relying on experts so much because we have strayed so far from our 'continuum' that we are lost!
We don't see anyone parenting in an instintual way anymore and this leaves a lot of mums in a state of confusion and panic
Claire - I don't know if you can answer this, but were C4 as stringent as they claim with regards to the safety of the babies? They claim to have consulted paedatricians on every step, but I can't see any paed condong CV's methods....(although my hv has come out with some gems in her time!)
for me perhaps the most fundimental difference, over and above the extreme differences in the three methods is that both Claire Scott and Dreena approach the babies as living breathing human beings whilst Clare Verity treats them purely as objects, she does not appear to interact with them at all other than in a purely practical sense, she clucked over a photo of a fox but remains utterly unmoved in any way by a baby. It breaks my heart to see it. If I could get Clare V to change one just one thing it would be that. Claire S - if you could get Clare V to chance her method in just one respect it would be a giant step forward, what would your priority be?
I've not seen the programme (it sounds like I'd end up sobbing), but I just wanted to say that what I've heard of you is great - I'm a cloth nappy using, baby wearing mum (Not co-sleeping since the stairs falling down incident ).
I just need to master wearing DS on my back - he tends to try to squirm round to see my face...
Hi - I posted this earlier - but I really want you to see it!!!
I haven't got a question for Claire but I do have a message.....
Claire - The Close Baby Carrier saved my sanity!!!!
Thank you so much!
I thought that using the sling would 'make a rod for my own back' but as my baby hated being put down anyway I figured I had nothing to loose!
After using the carrier for just a few days - my baby seemed so much happier and confident. I could actually put him in his cot whilst I has a shower and he wouldn't cry! Using the sling did not make my baby more clingy - quite the opposite - it seemed to give him the security to be content on his own for a bit too!
I think you're doing a great job promoting the cc method (which just seems to me to be common-sense) and I really wish I could have used it more. I've used many aspects of it with my daughter but couldn't physically carry her around due to joint problems and diclocations after my pregnancy.
I just wanted to say, I 'wore' Ds2, who is now 1, until he was around 6 months and Ijust couldn't do it anymore (Big baby! lol) and it was fantastic!
No colic, hardly any crying, except when he got hot and I will deffo be 'wearing' any future babies.
It also really helped Ds1 accept Ds2 as he hardly saw or heard from him once he was in his wrap/sling.
We did co-sleep aswell but not for as long.
thanks claire. we have a big bed but I am getting very little sleep as keep waking every time she stirs at all. I think i am making it difficult to learn how to settle herself as every time she moves I am awake and responding to her. I really love the co-sleeping in many ways but i also want to be sure dd is getting a good nights sleep without me interfering. Thinking of trying for no.2 soon so the bed could get a bit crowded then. the double bed for her is a good idea.
is there much difference with the mae yai wraps and freedom slings? i just cant get my dd comfy in this it makes my back and neck ache. she would love to be carried all day ..... in fact she is but usually on my hip or in my arms!
Claire, I am currently 14 weeks pregnant, and thanks to your programme ahve convinced DP that we should co-sleep, he was also very interested in the babycarrying and totally agreed breast was best. What do you sugest if dad wants to feed though? What are your opinions on expressing and bottle feeding the expressed milk???
so do you think that CV is being cruel to those little babies?
and is your curly-haired mum the most gorgeous woman ever to live?
(and did you notice by the last episode that all the CV babies were pudged-up?)
sorry, I can't type very fast!
I think you need to listen to your son. If he is really unahppy about leaving your bed, then I would think why you really want him to leave. Are you getting no sleep? Is your bed big enough?
If you are adament you want him in his own bed, I would suggest a lovely double bed, where you can lie with him as you help him through the transition.
I simply can't answer you comprehensively enough with such limited time, the best book in the world is Three in a Bed, by Deborah Jackson
coolbecks,
I wrote the answers last night. I posted them to mumsnet this morning.
There is more coming through. Mumsnet had to edit them first so you can 'see' my answers
CS I think you did really well to comprehensively and eloquently counter CV when faced with such opposing views, I don't think a firm answer would shut up CV anyway!
Wow Claire I've just read all your responses - you must be the most thorough respondent EVER! I'm really impressed with your responses and I think you come over really well in the show. Thanks again.
Getting a bit lost here. Have I missed the answer to my questions re: moving a 17 month old co-sleeper to her own bed. I really want to do it with as little upset to her as possible but not sure where to begin. thanks
There is no risk of opening a scar after a section by using a sling, as you are only using it as a tool to enable you to be handsfree when you would normally be carrying your baby.
BlueberryPancake
This does sound awful, however I am not convinced that this conditions were caused by carrying their babies. A sling is simply a tool to make your life easier giving you your hands free when you would normally be carrying your baby. Were these women also involved with very arduous physical work?
Claire, do you find this whole baby guru thing depressing? Not yourself, obviously I very much hope you don't find yourself depressing - but the suggestion that there has to be a Concept or a Way or a Philosophy. I think it does the opposite of what it intends to do, it undermines confidence and makes women feel bad for not being perfect.
just a comment..Claire I think you did brilliantly, better to look lost for words in the face of rudeness than to look equally rude.
I am inspired and empowered by your ideas. And very upset by Claire Verity's ideas.
I imagine it must have been horrible to have been faced with that sort of onslaught from someone who is quite clearly unbalanced and very hostile. I too would have been lost for words
Thanks Claire. I breastfed for bloody ages in the end it worked really well. But my dp wouldn't co-sleep, just wouldn't even think about it. He's a very big man (6,5" and 18 stone) and was petrified of having tiny dd in with us. When we moved out of her bedroom I had a mattress on her floor and I've always part-time co-slept, still do. I'll stop when she stops asking me.
I do have a friend though whose 6-week-old died in bed with them. I think that freaked dp out.
well done CS, you've given great answers so far. i don't think people thought you were being ineffective, btw, but the programme did show you gasping a lot. gits. but at least you didn't come across like a loon.
Claire, did you feel a bit overwhelmed when those 2 women made stupid comments like 'why inflict breastfeeding on the general public.' As I was hoping for a firm and direct answer to shut them up. there were more than one occasion when you just seemed lost for words.
imaginaryfriend
for me it made more sense to do it 'all' so to speak. I felt it snowballed at times and the more information I read, the more it made sense. I was able to live a very active life from when my children were very little. There are however many, many families in this country who use some but not all aspects of the concept ~ which is fantastically encouraging! The more women we see breastfeeding, the better example it gives to our younger generation!
The Close Baby Carrier is designed to distribute the weight of the baby across both your shoulders, your back and most importantly you hips, which in turn distributes the weight to your legs (the strongest part of your body). If you already have a back problem and you are carrying your baby a lot, a sling is going to make your life easier and your back problem shouldn't change. My guess it because Close has such nice wide comfy straps, it will suit you because you can really stretch them out. Give me a shout and we can discuss it further over email. claire@closeparent.com. 
