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Live webchat with Dawn French

(551 Posts)
rebeccamumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 01-Nov-10 09:06:57

We are thrilled to announce that comedian, writer and actor Dawn French will be joining us here at the Towers on Wednesday 3 November, from 7.30pm to 8.30pm for a live webchat.
Dawn has appeared in some of the country's most long-running, fave shows including French and Saunders, The Comic Strip Presents?, Vicar of Dibley and most recently, Roger and Val Have Just Got In.
On top of her screen achievements, Dawn's memoir, Dear Fatty, topped the best-selling charts and now her first novel, A Tiny Bit Marvellous, is out and it's more than a tiny bit marvellous that she's joining us for a webchat. Hope you can too, but if you're unable to make it on Wednesday, post your questions here.

PixieOnaLeaf Mon 01-Nov-10 09:44:03

Message withdrawn

Saltire Mon 01-Nov-10 10:13:07

Oh I love Dawn french.

I got your book, Dear Fatty, for christmas, I lost my dad when i was 17 and there are bits of the book that really struck a chord with me and I was in floods of tears at bits of it.

Anyway, my question. I love the Vicar of Dibley, and jam and Jersualem and in fact all your work.

Which co-star/celebrity guest star did you most enjoy working with?

jonicomelately Mon 01-Nov-10 10:35:36

Hello Dawn.

I was wondering what you opinion is on the quality of television drama at the moment. It appears to me there is a depressing lack of 'in' for new writers. Is this due to commissioners being too nervous to take a chance on new talent?

Thanks.

Wow Dawn French!
Erm...are you as overwhelmed by meeting me as I am about meeting you??
No...?

PixieOnaLeaf Mon 01-Nov-10 11:27:42

Message withdrawn

rosieposey Mon 01-Nov-10 11:37:07

Dawn, me and my DD's love your work, love your book and love you generally grin.

I was born in Plymouth like you and my mum went to the same school as you (albeit 55 years ago) Have you been back to the school to visit? Also do you prefer living in Cornwall or do you miss the South East?

purplepeony Mon 01-Nov-10 11:46:44

Dawn- what can we do to persuade you to lose weight?
I read your recent interview in the Times where you said if your health was in danger you would.
Do you honestly not think that it is?
For someone who seems to be pretty sensible on most things, you appear to be in denial over your weight and health.

TanteRoseAliveAndKicking Mon 01-Nov-10 11:50:10

Hi Dawn!

I shall be asleep when you are here (due to living on the other side of the world..)

I have been a fan since Comic Strip, but one of my favourite things of yours recently was Girls Who Do Comedy - that interview with Miriam Margolyes made me WEEP with laughter grin I bet that was huge fun to make.

Anyway.....(and being a bit sombre now...) you have mentioned it several times in your book/interviews but do you still think you are going to die young? Why?

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Mon 01-Nov-10 12:55:05

Oh lordy, I'm so excited that I don't know what to say or ask ........

I just think you're wonderful. You're gorgeous, you're clever, you're funny (simper, simper)

How have you stayed so unaffected by your job and the people you have met and worked with? Have you made a conscious effort to be 'normal' in your everyday life?

Tee2072 Mon 01-Nov-10 13:11:11

Hi Dawn

I loved your book! Being an American Ex-Pat I didn't see much of you until I moved here to Belfast 7 years ago, but Vicar of Dibley always has me in stitches!

Anyway, I don't really have a questions just wanted to say hi and say I think it's way cool that you're here!

Deemented Mon 01-Nov-10 13:22:55

Hi Dawn,

Can i just say how fab i think you are? grin

So, my burning question...

If i were to have someone play me in a story of my life, it'd be you... but if you could choose to have someone play you in the story of your own life, who'd it be?

<<just 'cos i'm a nosey moo emoticon>>

RatherBeOnThePiste Mon 01-Nov-10 13:29:51

Thud
<<Piste faints at the thought of her heroine's proximity!>>

We have just got back from our holiday ( i can send you pics if you like ?! No? Ok ) and i can sooooooooo relate to your comments in you book about not being able to sleep on planes in case the pilots need you.

Tiring though innit?
and..
Does turbulence make you want to open the door and run away? Only it does me!

AnnieBeansMum Mon 01-Nov-10 13:34:21

Hi Dawn! I am a huge HUGE fan and especially adore Vicar of Dibley! But what is/was your favourite character to play??

smugmumofboys Mon 01-Nov-10 13:36:16

Hi Dawn.

I can't think of a question but I just wanted to say how much I absolutely loved Roger and Val.

The acting was great and the storyline so moving.

Thank you.

Saltire Mon 01-Nov-10 15:13:04

Ooh, I thought of another thing - can you give me Richard Armitage's phone number?grin

tinkgirl Mon 01-Nov-10 15:19:03

Hi Dawn

what would your mumsnet name be and why? Boring question I know, but I have such trouble trying to think of a name - ended up looking up and seeing a picture of tinkerbelle on DD t-shirt. BORRRINGGGGG or what! How much of what your children do in real life end up in your work? If you want any more material then I'll introduce you to my DD - she is usually on a different planet though so can't guarantee anything.... grin

ShowOfHandsInEpistolaryForm Mon 01-Nov-10 16:12:42

Dear Dawn French,

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Now, if you're not familiar with the above noise, I will briefly explain. It's a mix of boundless enthusiasm and ill-contained joy. In this case it spewed forth due to sheer delight at being in such close virtual proximity to a 'sleb' I genuinely like. As much as you can like anybody you've never met nor know beyond their excellent career. For all I know you could eat puppies in your spare time and/or vote Tory.

I have nothing to ask you whatsoever. I'm just here slack jawed in amazement to gawp at you. Erm, is it always a long way to Tipperary?

Oh I know. Now that the beautiful Billie is all grown up, what do you miss about her childhood that you didn't expect to?

Can you visit every Wednesday? I don't like Wednesdays much and you'd liven them right up.

Yours,

Show

xx

Yeah what show said grin

Wow, you're not even here and I'm already starstruck and not able to think straight.

No that's it, will have to come back later when I'm over the shock.....

IfYoureHappyItsHalloween Mon 01-Nov-10 16:39:39

Hi Dawn

Another admirer here

I'm seeking serenity and wondering what your best tips are for keeping yourself happy and smiling

Albrecht Mon 01-Nov-10 16:59:34

Hello!

I think you are fab, especially in Psychoville. My question: did Freddie ever scare you? He scares the shite out of me.

Haven't watch the Halloween special yet as have to go bed at 9pm nowadays, thanks to my own little Freddie...

TheJollyPirate Mon 01-Nov-10 17:08:33

Hi Dawn - just want to say I am so glad you are coming in to MN for a webchat. I have no questions but want to say I think you are fab.

What's the secret of your beautiful glossy hair? Ooops - there's a question after all.

ShinySoloSparklySolo Mon 01-Nov-10 17:12:05

No question that I can think of yet, but I think you are fabulous Dawn French. Fabulous! grin Best female all rounder in the country in my opinion. 'cept singing.

Question! Can you sing Dawn? don't think I've heard you sing.

Lotsa love

solo.

I read somewhere recently that you've had the, ahem, misfortune to have to kiss both Richard Armitage and George Clooney in the line of duty, so, if you were forced to repeat the experience (and I realise it would be a really tough job grin) with either of them - which would you choose?

saorachd Mon 01-Nov-10 17:51:48

Who was the best snog?

Was it Dr Clive Mantle envy or Hugh Grant.

SirBoobAlot Mon 01-Nov-10 17:56:36

Hi Dawn.

Firstly can I say I love you I think you're a fantastic actress, and a wonderful writer (Dear Fatty had me in tears and howling with laughter... Sometimes both at once [blush}) and I think you look fantastic <glares at PP>

Would you be honoured to know that I dressed up as you for New Years fancy dress one time? No? Ah well... Be impressed I managed to blow balloons that big at least grin

My question: You know the scene in the Vicar Of Dibley, where Gerry looks after baby Geraldine, (here for those of you who haven't seen) - was this inspired by the reality of how crazy the transition into motherhood was for you? I found it hilarious pre-baby... And then when DS was here, all of a sudden it made complete sense grin

scaleymcnamechange Mon 01-Nov-10 17:59:06

Hello Dawn

Do you find it embarrassing when people go all funny about meeting you because you are a sleb? Would you prefer they treated you like a normal person, or do you enjoy the simpering?

aristocat Mon 01-Nov-10 18:15:33

hello Dawn

another admirer here and an easy question - what is your favourite colour please?
mine is green ATM

thank you smile

nelix2000 Mon 01-Nov-10 18:43:35

Hi Dawn, I am a writer, not a great one...in fact a very very novice one!

Do you ever see yourself putting pen to paper in the name of fiction(to remain book bound and not televised)?

You would be fabulous at it...and of course if you need a co-writer.......grin

HecateQueenOfWitches Mon 01-Nov-10 19:09:47

grin You bunch of kiss arses!

I'm a little bit in love with you Dawn

How do you feel about the fact that what matters most about a woman is her appearance but what matters most about a man is his ability? Do you challenge this?

storminateacup10 Mon 01-Nov-10 19:40:34

Hello dawn :-)

Your French and Saunders at the Movies was the funniest thing I have ever seen- any plans to do some more of the same one day?

You and Jennifer work so bloody well together.

Thanks x

pinkyredrose Mon 01-Nov-10 19:46:21

Hi Dawn!!

Wow, how fabulous that you're here, I absolutely love your work! I watched the final Christmas special of Dibley again only on Saturday night and was in stitches!

I think I remember you saying in an interview yrs ago that your best friend was called Geraldine,(forgive me if I'm wrong) did you name your character in Dibley after her?

Oh and which was your favourite episode of Murder Most Horrid to record?

Ok that's two questions!

Hello Dawn, what's your favourite bodily noise?

scrappydappydoo Mon 01-Nov-10 20:20:10

Hi Dawn,

Having been famous for awhile what do you think of the current celeb culture? Has it changed much over the years? Do you get frustrated with people being more interested with your personal life than your professional life?

(sorry I know thats 3 questions but they're all linked)

loulou77 Mon 01-Nov-10 20:47:11

Hello Dawn (feels a bit wrong being on first name terms with someone I have never met, I would ask you if that bugs you or if you are used to it, but I don't want to waste my question!)

Firstly I wanted to add my voice to those who've already raved about Roger and Val...(the unglamourous row grin)...fantastic.

My question - what's the joke you would have loved to have told at the end of a Vicar Of Dibley episode but never got the chance to?

Yours in admiration

loulou

dietstartstmoz Mon 01-Nov-10 20:49:26

Hi Dawn
another one completely star struck here.

Q1-How do you get your hair so glossy?
Q2-Any tips for coping with a very difficult 3 yr old?
Q3-What's your favourite biscuit and do you dunk?

NonnoMum Mon 01-Nov-10 21:10:47

Hello Ms French (or may I call you Dawn, or even Your Majesty?)

Don't know if these are Qs really but

- thank you for mentioning your and your DH's battle with infertility -

- and thank you for being such a good example of an adoptive mother...

loved the bit in "Dear Fatty" where you mentioned how angry you got on an Athletics Meet where the officials made some reference to you rather than your dd.

Cos, as we all know, sometimes it's all about our kids and not about us, no matter how fabulous we are!

Good luck to you and your (newly restructured family). And thank you for keeping all the gory details out of the press...

As you were...

NonnoMum Mon 01-Nov-10 21:12:44

Oops - might have overdone it on the number of questions.

Or have I?

LBsmum Mon 01-Nov-10 21:33:37

Hello Dawn

Really enjoyed 'Roger and Val', on at the same time as re-runs of the first 'Getting On', both brilliant female led comedy/dramas - more of that type of thing please.

Just wanted to know if you have ever been a Mumsnetter yourself ? ( am I allowed to ask that ??, if not then please feel free to lie)

ruddynorah Mon 01-Nov-10 21:34:25

oooh grin

yes i too loved roger and val. and psychoville. you are a very clever lady. what do you have lined up for the coming year?

AmpleBosom Mon 01-Nov-10 22:18:21

Hi Dawn,

just wanted to say i came to watch you and Alison Moyet in the play Smaller at Manchester <You probably remember me i was on the front row grin > and i thought it was amazing.

My question is who makes you laugh?

Oh and if you want my mumsnet name i'll let you have it, i think it would suit you wink

rubyslippers Mon 01-Nov-10 23:18:26

Squeal!

Dear Fatty was a wonderful book

You are raising a daughter - how are you bringing her up to love herself and feel good about being a woman?

One of things I like about you, is how comfortable you seem within your self and your skin and that is great IMO

I too would like to know how you get your hair so glossy smile

Cammelia Tue 02-Nov-10 00:02:00

Dawn, I just want to say I love you grin

HobbitMama Tue 02-Nov-10 02:43:39

Can i just second all of the above there - apart from pp's obviously very silly comment - <another glare from me, pp>

I too would love to know how you look so wonderful all the time! Being on the larger side of short myself, I've been through some pretty rough patches of self esteem over the years, not helped much by a mother who CONSTANTLY goes on about losing weight (even whilst I'm currently about to have DC4 taken out via the sunroof in a month!)

How do you manage to rise above all the nasty, snidey comments?

Dear Fatty was brilliant - as was R & V - what are you up to next? Ooh, and what's your favourite book?(Hoping that no-one notices the sneaky extra two questions there!) grin

And can I also say how much I admired the dignitas displayed in your recent life explosion - I'm v sorry for you both, but think you've both behaved in an admirable manner, and hope that things are better, or at least getting there - sorry to get personal, and I hope the media weren't too troublesome for you.

oh, and any time you're in Eastbourne, and bored, do feel free to pop 'round... 'cause we all know how likely THAT'S going to be!! hmm

Lots of love forever

HobbitMama Tue 02-Nov-10 02:47:05

oh, and you taught at my old school Parli Hill - I only went there for a couple of years, but they still talked proudly about you being their drama teacher! (Couldn't have been that long afterwards!)

Do you remember a Ms Melling, a music teacher? She looked (and acted) very much like my mum, which was very disconcerting at the time!!!

LoveBeingAMardyBum Tue 02-Nov-10 06:04:32

Oh there are so many things I want to say but don't actually have a question ready blush but anyway love you, love roger and val, and if you want any more gushing just say.

Oh guess I can ask is there going to be anymore roger and val? A christmas one would no doubt be jolly good x x x

IvaNighSpare Tue 02-Nov-10 07:07:11

Dear Dawn,
You are a fab lady and an inspiration to many.
I currently live at RAF Akrotiri where you spent some of your childhood years and I am involved in a number of fund-raising committees for various Forces and local welfare charities.
Please, please, please, PLEASE can you come back to Akrotiri for a visit and maybe add some enormous impact to our causes? I know that you would be received incredibly warmly and gratefully.
I'll be your bestest friend for life, and promise not to stalk you.
Thank you x

PS This is a serious request and if you're genuinely interested can please you get 'your people' to contact me through Mumsnet?

AddictedtoCrunchies Tue 02-Nov-10 08:50:03

<swoon>

I want to know about the scene in Dibley when you were jumping in the puddles whether you did the 'deep' one in one take? And how did you not laugh..because I can still snigger now when I think of it.

It's in my top three quality comedy moments of all time (with Basil Fawlty and the 'wildebeest sweeping majestically across the plain' and the chandelier in Fools and Horses).

I heart you v much.

Love Addicted

PS. Did you get Take That tickets??

HoorahHilda Tue 02-Nov-10 09:54:29

Oh that puddle scene .. best ever !!, good question Addicted

fridascruffs Tue 02-Nov-10 09:58:06

Dawn for President. Or, you know, queen.

kveta Tue 02-Nov-10 10:14:03

has nobody asked what your favorite biscuit is yet?! shock sorry, that's not my question - I'm going to ask what your favourite cheese is instead mine is either cheddar or cashel blue. <drool>

and I second the question further up - how do you get your hair so glossy? it's just gorgeous.

GivesHeadlessHorseman Tue 02-Nov-10 10:24:26

Honestly what a bunch of sychophantic over-excitable twats sad fans you are - 'what's your favourite colour' indeed.hmm

I'm going to go away and think of something actually interesting to ask, and I'm not going to suck up even a little bit.

OK, I'm just going to say it quickly now then it's out of the way, and so as not to appear rude - I really really love you Dawn. You are very high on my fantasy dinner party guest list. You can come for dinner in real life if you like. blush

Right...I'll be back with my question.

dillydallydolly Tue 02-Nov-10 10:26:23

Dawn just to echo the <3 fest..
I love you, your books, your writing, your acting, your comedy, Everything You in fact! Many thanks for the much cheering up of me over the years

Have you ever worked with Victoria Wood?

Would love to see it if you have? If not, WOW you would be an amazing duet ( hint hint wink ) xx

GivesHeadlessHorseman Tue 02-Nov-10 10:29:22

OK, me again. I'm a very quick thinker.

Do men love you in real life Dawn? I know everyone in V of D was in love with you, but in RL do you think you have them in the palm of your hand? Are you a naughty flirt?

Please anwser my question, it's much more interesting than absolutely all of the others.
<nudges others out of the way.>

twofalls Tue 02-Nov-10 10:49:37

I absolutely loved French and Saunders and my friend and I STILL say "Get the diary, get the diary" in a west country brawl whenever we want to make plans. I also cannot watch Ron in the flying car scene in Harry Potter without seeing you and absolutely PMSL.

My question is:

What is the most amount of takes a scene has taken you to do because you can't finish it for laughing (and did the Director get really cross.)

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Tue 02-Nov-10 12:41:10

Without going into specifics (as I don't want my question to seem rude or obtrusive), are you able to talk about how Jennifer's cancer diagnosis has affected your friendship?

A serious illness can affect the dynamnics of a relationship as some people aren't able to cope with other people's illness'. How did you cope?

Thank you smile

StripeyMoon Tue 02-Nov-10 13:33:31

Hi Dawn

Agree with Addicted and Hilda that the puddle scene was properly laugh out loud funny, in fact the whole engagement and wedding one had me constantly laughing.

How do you get anything filmed, you and your co-actors must be constantly laughing?

Also, how did you manage to wangle getting the gorgeous Richard Armitage to be your love interest??

Theyremybiscuits Tue 02-Nov-10 14:04:10

Hello Dawn, yet another 'I love you to bits' from me and my 11 yr old DS (I have brainwashed him)

He asks 'when you were kissing Ewan the farmer in VOD how many takes did you do ? He nearly wets himself laughing at that scene.

I would like to ask how you have managed to be so grown up and fab with your ex (I am going through a hostile divorce)

Feel free to ignore if 'tis too personal and close to bonish.

Much love/affection xxx

cornishpasty Tue 02-Nov-10 14:14:55

Hello from Cornwall Dawn,

Another huge admirer here of all that you do.
Loved Dear Fatty - had me in stitches and then in tears talking about your dear Dad (my Dad also committed suicide when I was a similar age to you and it was a very emotional read for me).

My question is......(has to be Richard Armitage linked I'm afraid as I'm completely in love with him blush and there have been many discussions on here about him recently)

Would you ever consider reviving Geraldine and doing a follow up VOD?
PS - if you do you HAVE to have RA in it again.
Huge love to you & your family.
xx

brokeoven Tue 02-Nov-10 14:37:25

Hi Dawn,

Was the "sticking your head in the chocolate fountain" in Dibley your idea or some one elses?

Damned fine idea it was whoever thought of it....i fantasize about doing this, but as i am a sensible mum type person, i dont think it would go down too well at the school Christmas fair. (Dagnamit)

Oh and the contraception scene (waaay back in the 80s) was the funniest thing me and my mates ever saw..C.O.M.D.O.M.... Comdom! and barbed wire shoved up your front bum...fabtastic!

HystericalMe Tue 02-Nov-10 18:09:15

.

Cammelia Tue 02-Nov-10 18:13:33

I still can't think of a question and I still just want to say I love you grin

<Remember "bread shaped like a penis" rofl>

Muuuuuum Tue 02-Nov-10 18:33:33

Hi Dawn, think you are hilarious - vicar of dibley-falling into the puddle (of course), You describing to Jennifer Saunders how to have have sex with her boyfriend when her Mum is away - the towels and the trillions of fish jumping!! - I used to know that sketch off by heart - is that very sad??
Anyway, just wondered how things were going on the man front, is there anyone special we should know about? Hope so!!

dawntigga Tue 02-Nov-10 18:39:22

Hi Dawn,

Excuse me as I have a quiet gush:

Can I say when I saw you in Smaller I thought you were FANTASTIC So was Alison Moyet, more plays please.

Also, we sat next to Lenny who I didn't recognise until he sat down - he was lovely.

My question is how do you cope with the press intrusion and public speculation regarding your private life? IMNSHO it's private and only yourself and the people you share it with have any right to know what's going on.

SharesTheSameNameAndHomeTownAsDawnFrenchAndIsStupi dlyHappyAboutItTiggaxx

chimchARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH Tue 02-Nov-10 18:49:03

dawn...another fan here!

no deep and meaningful stuff from me...just sheer nosiness!

1. what is your favorite tv show to watch?

and 2. who do you want to win the x factor this year? grin

Cammelia Tue 02-Nov-10 19:34:10

Ok Dawn, I do have a question: what is your biggest regret in life so far?

FellatioNelson Tue 02-Nov-10 20:16:00

Good question Cammelia.envy

whatshallmynamebe Tue 02-Nov-10 20:57:23

OK I have been thinking long and hard about this cos like everyone else I think you are fab, and I really want to take part in this thread.

So...if you could be best friends in RL with any of your characters who would it be?

Georgimama Tue 02-Nov-10 21:00:05

I was going to ask what shampoo you use to get your hair so preposterously shiny but someone already did, so I will just say - Sean Bean and Richard Armitage.... you lucky lucky cow.

FlyingInTheCLouds Tue 02-Nov-10 21:12:57

Hi Dawn

Who would you invite to your dream spin the bottle party?

thanks smile

<overcome,>

My DH and I walked past you once in Manchester (do you remember me - mousy hair, stupid grin grin) we were very starstruck but couldn't get over how tiny and beautiful you are.

god you're great.

Wow, Dawn French, just downloading your latest as an Audio-book despite not being old or blind enough to listen to audio-books but it stops my glasses going wonky when reading in bed!

My question would be: What moment(s) of your life would you say most defines you as woman in your opinion and of course, why?

I think you are a great female role-model and thank God (of course vicar) for all your entertainment over the years so far and to come. Thank you too. X

fightingthezombies Tue 02-Nov-10 22:05:46

Hi Dawn - are you a Widdecombe fan and have you ever fancied doing Strictly yourself? grin

ShinySoloSparklySolo Tue 02-Nov-10 22:57:37

Blimey! so much gushing on one thread! grin

Hope you are a Mumsnetter Dawn...

miffymuffy Tue 02-Nov-10 23:28:03

well its no wonder the likes of Stephen Fry think they can spout off indiscriminately when youwomen respond to the possibility of a chat with a celeb in such a sycophantic manner!!! Crikey all that drooling at the mouth is incredible- this is a real woman you're talking about- with all the sadnesses & complications that brings- look at the issues she's been facing recently- not that she'd want to talk about it to us necessarily- but dont put her on a pedestal- she's not perfect- I agree with purplepeony here- lets look at some of the real issues- like why she thinks at that weight he's any sort of a role model- for her own child even who no doubt also wonders if her mum will die young- not funny stuff at all

SpeedyGonzalez Wed 03-Nov-10 00:31:53

Dawwwwwnnnn!!!

(ahem)

grin

Yer most welcome here! I want to say first of all how much I LOVED watching Roger and Val, what a funny and beautiful series. Will there be a series 2?

My 'real' question (hoping MN Towers are too busy scoffing custard creams to spot that I'm asking two q's) is about the concept of celebrity. Don't you think it's a weird concept? I mean, people are people, aren't they? Some are talented, some clever, some dim and some thoroughly unpleasant. So I find it amazing how 'we' tend to attach such strong beliefs towards people that we basically know very little about, just because we see their faces on a screen.

Obviously being a super-zippy Famous Mouse I can zoom away from my obsessive fans at a moment's notice wink. How do you escape from the stresses of celebrity? <<stuffs more custard creams down Justine's gullet as third question is slipped in by sleight of hand>>

TanteRoseAliveAndKicking Wed 03-Nov-10 02:57:51

er, miffy we know Dawn is a real woman hmm

and those real issues have been asked about...

don't be such a grump!

(where's my chocolate stun-gun...grin)

LelloLorry Wed 03-Nov-10 03:20:45

Well, after reading the last 4 pages of Q's I don't think I much belong here.
I haven't seen the Vicar of Dibley, or, er, anythng else, but was a big fan of the Terry's chocolate orange adverts...

With your DD around University age, what do you think about the rising fees?

Ooh, another too, have you a favourite stand up comedian?
Jason Manford link.

blinks Wed 03-Nov-10 10:25:10

if you know katy brand, could you please ask her to stop.

ShowOfHandsInEpistolaryForm Wed 03-Nov-10 10:33:42

Miffy, "youwomen". I like that. As if we're one great homogeneous, perfumed, manicured, sycophantic, sprawling mass. I like to hear it in a 'youwomen, know your place' tone.

As TanteRose points out, as semi-literate, mostly evolved and basically aware humans, we've nearly all picked up on the fact that Dawn is a real woman. I spotted it about halfway through Roger and Val. Honestly, it was an epiphany. Not like all these other cyborg actors.

And what about a woman's weight precludes her from being a role model exactly (and Dawn French, are you a self-proclaimed role model, is anybody?)? There's a huge difference between somebody's personal vices and presuming they're somehow promoting them to the masses.

Personally, I object to all this High School Musical, Hannah Montana crap influencing the young girls around me. Bursting into song all over place, it's not very British is it?

OrangeAgate Wed 03-Nov-10 10:34:44

Hi Dawn,

Wow - What an honour!! [shocked]

What are you enjoying in life now that you are newly single? What advice can you give to newly divorced mums?

Sorry that's two questions. blush

TheJollyPirate Wed 03-Nov-10 11:50:31

miffy I wouldn't dream of asking someone such personal and emotive stuff as yuo suggest we should. Not if I did not know them well in real life.

Have a biscuit

Hi Dawn,

Love your work.

If you look at my (unimaginative) nickname and I tell you I was sad to miss the recent reunion, hopefully you'll work out who I am!

Are you still involved with Comic Relief? I'm hoping to apply for a project grant. Does the old college leotard tie count for anything??

grin

Misty164 Wed 03-Nov-10 13:14:36

Hi Dawn!

You've just published your first novel, A Tiny Bit Marvellous. What inspired the title? And why did you shift from writing fact to fiction?

shortnnoisy Wed 03-Nov-10 13:18:39

Hi Dawn

Eek, overwhelmed with excitement and uncontainable joy that I am, so to speak, talking to you AND that you have written a novel - I LOVED IT!!! Funny, poignant, had to get the tissues out!

My question: This is your first novel, how did you decide what to write about and will you be doing more?

Love you (sorry, bit stalkerish!)
xxxx

mum2b1979 Wed 03-Nov-10 13:25:04

Hi Dawn

I understand your new book "A Tiny Bit Marvellous" is the story of a family. Have you based any of the characters on your own family e.g your daughter?

x

cowboylover Wed 03-Nov-10 13:49:23

Hi Dawn!

Firstly for a bit of star gushing but I hve always loved you and think such a role model for women not to be shrinking violets and be seen and heard in all the right places! Loved Dear Fatty after fighting my Mum for the 1st read on Holiday this year.

Anyway (sorry that was long)...

My Husband adores you and are on the top of his fantasy 'to do list' so as a single lady who is on yours after so many celebrity snogs?!

RealityBomb Wed 03-Nov-10 14:51:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hello, Dawn. Have enjoyed and admired your work for many years and particularly loved Roger and Val, which showcased how versatile and sensitive an actor you are.

My question is - you are always seen as happy, smiling and joking and maybe that's because we all expect you to be: when you have darker moments, how do you deal with them?

Thank you

LilyBolero Wed 03-Nov-10 16:03:16

hi Dawn, welcome to MN. I love your work, enjoy everything you're in!

I would like to ask you as a mother of a teenage girl what you think the best way to build a solid and long lasting relationship with a daughter is. Many people on here have difficult relationships with their mothers, and I don't want that to happen with me and MY daughter who is 7. What do you do to cement your relationship?

BonkersforBonJovi Wed 03-Nov-10 17:27:41

Hi Dawn!

My question - Are you a regular MN'er? Don't reveal yourself if so, more fun to guess grin

nicand2 Wed 03-Nov-10 17:45:39

Hi Dawn,

What was the rude thing in the box when you were on the One Show last week?

P.s The Vicar of Dibley is the all time very best sit com - always makes me smile.

maresedotes Wed 03-Nov-10 18:00:01

Hello Dawn

I loved Roger and Val. The Vicar of Dibley always reminds me of my lovely late mother. She asked me to explain the nuns in the bath joke at the end of one of the episodes and I didn't want to so made something up! She never knew.

My very serious question is: did you manage to get a ticket to see Take That? If you did and you have a spare one please may I come along with you?

Ignore all the other questions - my one is important.

xxxx

scottishmummy Wed 03-Nov-10 18:03:30

hi dawn
is entertainment industry sexist-has gender helped or hindered your career?

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 18:21:52

Test

DeementKAAAABOOOOMed Wed 03-Nov-10 18:24:00

Oooohhhh!!!

Littlies can do their own bedtimes, can't they??? grin

DEPECHEMODEFANISBACK Wed 03-Nov-10 18:24:14

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

ShinySoloSparklySolo Wed 03-Nov-10 18:32:57

Oooh! just heard DF on radio 2 grin

and she's obviously borrowing a pc as she oh the shame <whispers> doesn't have one...hmm

nameymcnamechange Wed 03-Nov-10 18:33:31

Gosh, you're nice and prompt. Are you actually THERE there, in Ye Olde Kentishe Towne?

StripeyMoon Wed 03-Nov-10 18:40:15

Hello Dawn!

<settles in>

Northernlight Wed 03-Nov-10 18:46:59

Hi Dawn! <waves>

What is your relationship with Jennifer Saunders now? Do you see her regularly?

SecretNutellaFix Wed 03-Nov-10 18:51:16

Hi Dawn,

You are a very successful person, what would you say has been the driving force behind your success? Do you have any other avenues that you would like to try your hand at?

nowit Wed 03-Nov-10 18:56:05

Hi Dawn <shhh, I put the kids to bed early to be here on time>

What made you and Jennifer decline the offer of an OBE? Did you agree about it?

IMHO you are one of the nations best

JustineMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 03-Nov-10 18:57:21

nameymcnamechange

Gosh, you're nice and prompt. Are you actually THERE there, in Ye Olde Kentishe Towne?

No not here yet but she is coming - it's a test!

newmummy2011 Wed 03-Nov-10 19:13:39

Hi dawn, have you ever been tempted to put your face in a chocolate fountain like you did in the vicar of dibley??!! I have secretly always wanted to do that!! By the way you rock. X x x

DirtyMartini Wed 03-Nov-10 19:15:27

Hello Dawn -- you rock

Do you listen to The Archers, and if so, what do you reckon is going to be the "Rocking Ambridge To Its Core" storyline over Xmas?

DirtyMartini Wed 03-Nov-10 19:17:42

oh, spooky, I'm listening to R4 (hence Archers query) and Dawn is on Front Row right now.

ShinySoloSparklySolo Wed 03-Nov-10 19:19:55

Dawn, my 12yo Ds has just asked me to tell you that he is a big fan and The Vicar of Dibley was genius.

FishesLately Wed 03-Nov-10 19:20:19

<claps and waits>

ShinySoloSparklySolo Wed 03-Nov-10 19:20:27

She's ver bust tonight!

ShinySoloSparklySolo Wed 03-Nov-10 19:21:22

Ooops! busy although...grin

snigger Wed 03-Nov-10 19:24:00

No question, just sitting here in a bit of a hero-worshippey position.

DH fancies you, and hopes thinks you're probably incredibly badly behaved behind all the twinkly eyes, but you still have to like me best.

Hello Dawn

What was your favourite moment in the Vicar of Dibley? I loved the part where you fell in a puddle that was deeper than it looked. Makes me grin just to think of it.

I also love your hair

ShowOfHandsInEpistolaryForm Wed 03-Nov-10 19:24:54

She is busy tonight. Let's forget the webchat and talk nonsense instead.

Dawn, who would you slap first with a wet kipper. Janet Street Porter or Piers Morgan?

I reckon with a good aim you could get both at once.

<brief pause to imagine a room containing JSP and PM>

Special hell. Right there.

tinkgirl Wed 03-Nov-10 19:27:02

don't start without me - just going for a refill ....... god how do you refresh the page without having to scroll back up to the top all the time

RTKangaMummy Wed 03-Nov-10 19:27:10

smile

Hello Dawn

I loved your 1647 clothes and used to get them from Evans but they don't stock them any more sadsmilesmile

Do you still design them?

If so, where can I get them from?

I am also a mad fan of yours from the Telly and love VOD and Roger & Val

I would also like to know about your hair and how you get it sooooooo shiny

You are soooooo DEFFO BRILL

smilesmilesmilesmile

LelloLorry Wed 03-Nov-10 19:28:08

I quite like Piers Morgan blush.
Lovely and inappropriate.

Dawn, are you a MNetter? If not, why not?

southeastastra Wed 03-Nov-10 19:28:14

hello dawn, what is your most favourite place to visit in the united kingdom

Are you here yet??!

<getting VERY VERY excited and turning into giggly school girl>

sparklyblack Wed 03-Nov-10 19:29:17

Hi Dawn!

Don't have a question, just wanted to say you are amazing and I love the Vicar of Dibley, fantastic show.

tinkgirl press F5.

ShinySoloSparklySolo Wed 03-Nov-10 19:29:23

press f5 tink, it's the refresh button.

LelloLorry Wed 03-Nov-10 19:29:37

Tink, click 'last' at the bottom of the page, you know where it says 'This is page 5 of 5' etc etc.

Ladydutchalot Wed 03-Nov-10 19:29:50

Dawn, would you be able to give yourself the biggest most congratualtory self hug for being so fabulous?

You have got dd and I through 6 months of dutch bedsit hell with the Vicar of Dibley. We could not have done it without you (the sea weed joke is the coolest one in a provincial primary school in the Netherlands because of you!!!!)

I don't care if it is not a proper question, I need to show my love and awe and admiration!!!!!!!!

JustineMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 03-Nov-10 19:29:56

So... drumroll... We are tickled pink to welcome Dawn French to MNHQ. Dawn has kindly offered one lucky random participant in this webchat two tickets to the launch of her debut novel, A Tiny Bit Marvellous Old Vic at the in London on Sunday. (We will announce the winner at the 8.30pm)

Over to you Dawn...

PictureThis Wed 03-Nov-10 19:29:57

Just popped on to say I've read Dear Fatty and thought it was great. I love you in the Vicar of Dibley and the christmas episode with the multiple xmas dinners was pure genius. Any more specials or has it been put to bed forever?

Damn. I forgot all about this and I'm just about to serve up dinner.

We're having pork curry (home-made, of course), with rice, naan and home-made-courtesy-of-Sainsbury onion bhajis and veggie samosas - just in case you were interested.

I think you're fab.

Will read this chat later.

Welcome to Mumsnet!

Are you here now?? grin

RealityBomb Wed 03-Nov-10 19:30:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:30:12

Hello all divine MNetters! I am sitting here ready for full web penetration.

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:30:30

PixieOnaLeaf

Hello Dawn!

<Pixie is struck by incredible nerves and forgets question. And possibly does a little wee>

Yes, erm, when you were working with Darcey Bussell for the sketch show and Vicar of Dibley, how did you manage not to laugh? Actually, how did you manage to keep a straight face for any of the sketch show?

(And can I be your best friend?)

When I was working with Darcey Bussel, I DID NOT manage not to laugh, in fact we laughed all the time, in fact, we wet our pants. Not very ballerina behaviour, I’m afraid, but I’m not ashamed, and I don’t apologise.

ShinySoloSparklySolo Wed 03-Nov-10 19:31:27

My Ds hasn't even asked to use the laptop tonight! he's sitting here waiting for the queen Dawn! bless him wink

tinkgirl Wed 03-Nov-10 19:31:37

right back now - decided to go for a bigger glass in the end .... thanks for the F5 and other ways of refreshing the page - obvious really when you know how

RTKangaMummy Wed 03-Nov-10 19:31:44

ooooooooooooooooooh Dawn is in the MN Towers

sooooooo excited

smile

OMG it's realllllly you smile

Helllooooo!!!!

<fainted already>

Oooh if I win tickets, can I take you so it means I get to sit next to you the whole time wink

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:32:11

Saltire

Oh I love Dawn french.

I got your book, Dear Fatty, for christmas, I lost my dad when i was 17 and there are bits of the book that really struck a chord with me and I was in floods of tears at bits of it.

Anyway, my question. I love the Vicar of Dibley, and jam and Jersualem and in fact all your work.

Which co-star/celebrity guest star did you most enjoy working with?

Frankly, Jennifer Saunders. But if you need it to be more slebby than that, Jimmy Krankie.

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:32:21

PictureThis

Just popped on to say I've read Dear Fatty and thought it was great. I love you in the Vicar of Dibley and the christmas episode with the multiple xmas dinners was pure genius. Any more specials or has it been put to bed forever?

Interestingly, I thought it was the end of the Vicar of Dibley, and we had a big wrap party at which I discovered that Richard Curtis, the writer, had asked for the set to be stored. So who knows. He always said that if women could be bishops, we might be talking business. So watch this space.

ShinySoloSparklySolo Wed 03-Nov-10 19:32:28

She's here! she's here!!!

roisin Wed 03-Nov-10 19:32:36

Hi Dawn!
No question - just to say I love you. grin
And you're very brave coming on here: slebs normally get eaten alive on mumsnet. I'm sure they won't do that to you though.

Deemented Wed 03-Nov-10 19:32:57

i've brought the lappy in the kitchen whilst i cook steak for the manshape. It may burn. The steak or the kitchen. Or both.

grin

RealityBomb Wed 03-Nov-10 19:32:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PictureThis Wed 03-Nov-10 19:33:15

Yaaaayyy grin

NormaStanleyFlashBangAahhhh Wed 03-Nov-10 19:33:38

Hi Dawn, I have just been listening to you on R4, you were fab.

I am looking forward to the book (on ma kindle).

Echo the other questions about your hair.

Are you still on good terms with Lenny? Any tips on how to achieve that if so.

coolma Wed 03-Nov-10 19:33:47

Hi DAwn, I am in Alice from th Vic, at least that is waht my husband tells me - you must have cracked up hugley during those fabulous jokes scenes!

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:34:32

LelloLorry

I quite like Piers Morgan .
Lovely and inappropriate.

Dawn, are you a MNetter? If not, why not?

Yes, I quite like Piers Morgan too, but I wouldn't go with him and no, I'm not an MNetter, because I don't own a computer. Somebody else is typing this for me!

coolma Wed 03-Nov-10 19:34:35

Sorry I AM Alice..not am in Alice - see what I mean blush

gawd, this is the best chat ever! it's only the second one i've ever taken part in

if no-one else has asked it... what's your favourite biscuit??? grin

p.s i did my art project on french and saunders when i was 15. my teacher stole it and put it up in the staff room hmm

Hulababy Wed 03-Nov-10 19:34:42

No question here as already so many asked. But loved the book Dear Fatty, VoD, etc so settling in will glass of wine to read along.

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:34:57

jonicomelately

Hello Dawn.

I was wondering what you opinion is on the quality of television drama at the moment. It appears to me there is a depressing lack of 'in' for new writers. Is this due to commissioners being too nervous to take a chance on new talent?

Thanks.

I think that when television drama is good, it’s very good, I especially love American stuff. In answer to your comment about there being a depressing lack of ‘in’ for new writers, I would say that this has always been the case, and I have no solutions sadly. The problem is lack of budget, presently, I would say.

TaudrieTattoo Wed 03-Nov-10 19:35:25

I'm having a vodka and coke.

It's a sacrifice.

Can I just say thanks for the laughs? I think you are really very wonderful. Can't think of a single question, but I have to mention that there is a lady who works in my local greengrocer's who is the exact spitting image of your character in Jam and Jerusalem.

In fact, I think it's you <narrows eyes>

loulou77 Wed 03-Nov-10 19:35:39

I made it...one lost purse and three recalcitrant children nearly thwarted me but just in the nick of time...phew

Hello!

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:36:15

TheJollyPirate

Hi Dawn - just want to say I am so glad you are coming in to MN for a webchat. I have no questions but want to say I think you are fab.

What's the secret of your beautiful glossy hair? Ooops - there's a question after all.

No big secret, my tips are as follows:
1. Grow hair
2. Cover old grey hair with dye
3. Use straighteners

Presently using kerastase.

noddyholder Wed 03-Nov-10 19:36:26

How do you get your hair so shiny?

ShowOfHandsInEpistolaryForm Wed 03-Nov-10 19:36:35

Oh good lord she's here. I can't talk to 'slebs'. I met Eddie Izzard once. Well, when I say met, I walked up to him, announced 'you're Eddie Izzard', he agreed, we left it there.

Oh I'm all overcome.

noddyholder Wed 03-Nov-10 19:36:51

God sorry didn't see that!

Dawn, why do you not own a computer?!

Is it because you're scared you might get addicted to MN and lose all powers to act/write and be funny ever again? grin

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:37:08

rosieposey

Dawn, me and my DD's love your work, love your book and love you generally grin.

I was born in Plymouth like you and my mum went to the same school as you (albeit 55 years ago) Have you been back to the school to visit? Also do you prefer living in Cornwall or do you miss the South East?

Hello Janner, yes I have been to back to St. Dunston’s for a visit - it is now some flats, which must be a bit scary for the people who live there since it is built on a graveyard, as far as I know...
And yes, I love living in Cornwall, I find it hard to leave.

AddictedtoCrunchies Wed 03-Nov-10 19:37:21

Did you do the 'puddle' scene in one take.?? (I am cheating but I asked this way back on P2 and don't want it to be missed).

TaudrieTattoo Wed 03-Nov-10 19:37:52

I have to say, I've just realised why Dawn has an amazing output and I do zilch.

I will set fire to my computer as soon as this webchat is over.

NormaStanleyFlashBangAahhhh Wed 03-Nov-10 19:38:06

re: Shiny hair. Really?

That only works for me for 4 hours after the hairdressers.

You must have genetically good hair

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:38:09

stigofthedump

Hello Dawn, what's your favourite bodily noise?

Probably mastication when savouring chocolate cake which I'm doing at this exact moment.

SecretNutellaFix Wed 03-Nov-10 19:39:00

HQ have provided chocolate cake?

We only get biscuitsgrin

Ladydutchalot Wed 03-Nov-10 19:39:04

Oooooh, criddles, I've just remembered that I did have a question after all, have I wasted my magic chance??? How can I get hold of Murder Most Horrid???? I need good not-as-child-appropriate-as-VoD viewing and I LOVED it!!!

BigHairyLeggedWerewolf Wed 03-Nov-10 19:39:05

Dawn. Years ago I stalked you round Evans (and then other shops...) in Plymouth. I kept hiding behind the clothes racks when you turned round. I'm really sorry if I freaked you out!

By the way you are an amazing woman, inspirational and beautiful and I have a massive girl-crush on you. grin

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:39:08

whatshallmynamebe

OK I have been thinking long and hard about this cos like everyone else I think you are fab, and I really want to take part in this thread.

So...if you could be best friends in RL with any of your characters who would it be?

I definitely like Geraldine Granger, and she'd give good fridge. I would NOT be good friends with Mad Murderer from Misery.

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:39:24

TanteRoseAliveAndKicking

Hi Dawn!

I shall be asleep when you are here (due to living on the other side of the world..)

I have been a fan since Comic Strip, but one of my favourite things of yours recently was Girls Who Do Comedy - that interview with Miriam Margolyes made me WEEP with laughter grin I bet that was huge fun to make.

Anyway.....(and being a bit sombre now...) you have mentioned it several times in your book/interviews but do you still think you are going to die young? Why?

This was a misunderstanding when I told a journalist that I wanted to be carried out of my present house in a box. See how wrong it can go? Jokes don’t translate in print sometimes! Planning to live as long as I can – cake allowing.

ShinySoloSparklySolo Wed 03-Nov-10 19:39:28

<envious atchocolate cake as started diet today ~ a^gain^>

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Wed 03-Nov-10 19:40:13

She's here, she's here.

Am stupidly excited.

My dh fancies you something rotten, but he's not Dawn's, he's mine!

Did you see what I did there?! grin

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:40:25

AddictedtoCrunchies

Did you do the 'puddle' scene in one take.?? (I am cheating but I asked this way back on P2 and don't want it to be missed).

Yes, the puddle scene was done in one take, because the light was fading, and I would have had to completely change clothes and there wasn't time.

I didn't laugh beforehand because of fear - fear of drowning. The fear of drowning helps you to avoid fear of laughing. Also, for your information, had a very tiny secret wee.

DirtyMartini Wed 03-Nov-10 19:40:58

grin

AddictedtoCrunchies Wed 03-Nov-10 19:41:18

My life is complete. <Addicted goes to lie down>.

RealityBomb Wed 03-Nov-10 19:41:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShinySoloSparklySolo Wed 03-Nov-10 19:41:38

Blimey! I laugh when I'm scared!

tinkgirl Wed 03-Nov-10 19:41:47

double grin

SkeletonFlowers Wed 03-Nov-10 19:42:05

Hi Dawn, i couldnt let this pass without saying hello.

More fawning, but i think you're fabulous, i love your sense of humour and i think you make fabulous inspiration for us larger ladies that you CAN be big and gorgeous!

My question, because i have so many i cant remember them all is... what was it like doing Psychoville with the League of Gentlemen guys.. i know you've dabbled in a bit of horror and alternative stuff before, but was it a completely new experience or did you feel comfortable slipping into role with them all?

whatshallmynamebe Wed 03-Nov-10 19:42:18

I have never had a webchat question answered before blush I am soooo excited. Thank you

ElephantsAndMiasmas Wed 03-Nov-10 19:42:30

Richard Armitage - good kisser?

pinkyredrose Wed 03-Nov-10 19:42:42

I'm sat here with a glass of red, have been looking forward to this for days! What are you doing after this chat Dawn?

noddyholder Wed 03-Nov-10 19:42:43

I haven't got a decent question now that the shiny hair one has gone so am just going to sound utterly cringey and say i think you are fab(and Jennifer)

largewhizzingrocketandtonic Wed 03-Nov-10 19:42:44

Dawn please come for dinner. I love would love to sit and chat to you. Think you are fab.

Ps tell Carrie i am emailing ridiculous film as we speak.

grin at the secret wee. That just made me have a not so small and not so secret wee of my own, that's what 5 kids does for you grin

loujay Wed 03-Nov-10 19:42:51

Hi Dawn,
Please can you tell me if you had your pick of potential hubands in Vicar of Dibley, and was the gorgeous Richard Armitage your first choice?
grin

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:43:02

nicand2

Hi Dawn,

What was the rude thing in the box when you were on the One Show last week?

P.s The Vicar of Dibley is the all time very best sit com - always makes me smile.

Alarmingly, the rude thing in the box was a giant fanny - which caught me unawares and the images torture me still.

TaudrieTattoo Wed 03-Nov-10 19:43:03

Oh, oh - just had to add - "Five Go Mad In Dorset" was proper genius, and marks the point in my life when I realised Enid Blyton might be something to laugh at.

It was the moment I went from innocent child to hard-bitten cynic - have never looked back!

tinkgirl Wed 03-Nov-10 19:43:41

Elephants really, get the priorities straight good kisser shock come on at least get the phone number first.....

dp had got the radio paused, so i now have Dawn French coming from the kitchen... and Dawn French on here.
which is slightly weird.

ShirleyGunpowderPlot Wed 03-Nov-10 19:44:16

I always think of you and Jennifer being a part of the "alternative" new wave of comedians back in the early 80's.

I think you were pretty inspiring, and you are pretty much widely considered to be one of the "few" funny women.

(I think women are hilarious myself dunno what men are burbling on about)

Anyway...Why do you think it is harder for women to get a break and be considered funny by the mainstream?

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:44:33

Misty164

Hi Dawn!

You've just published your first novel, A Tiny Bit Marvellous. What inspired the title? And why did you shift from writing fact to fiction?

The title comes from one of the characters, Peter, the son, who is channeling Oscar Wilde.
I can't write any more fact cos I've told the whole story of my life thus far so I have to make stories up which is called fiction (apparently).

RealityBomb Wed 03-Nov-10 19:44:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Wed 03-Nov-10 19:45:11

In fact Dawn, you've had your fair share of celebrity snogs - who's your favourite?

tinkgirl

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:45:11

nowit

Hi Dawn <shhh, I put the kids to bed early to be here on time>

What made you and Jennifer decline the offer of an OBE? Did you agree about it?

IMHO you are one of the nations best

biscuit If I answered this I'd have to kill you. I didn't speak about it at the time and think it's best not to now. Suffice to say I'm holding out for the Damehood.

BigHairyLeggedWerewolf Wed 03-Nov-10 19:45:46

<has anyone asked the biscuit question yet>

If not....

What's your favorite biscuit Dawn!!

shediya Wed 03-Nov-10 19:45:57

Hi Dawn, I've watched you on the TV for years with my family and you always have had us in fits of giggles.

What is the best present you've ever received?

Great text speek on the one show the other day ;-)

i already asked that bighairy! lol

Feenie Wed 03-Nov-10 19:46:41

Good use of biscuit there, Dawn! smile

FellatioNelson Wed 03-Nov-10 19:46:42

Hello Dawn. (I'm free on sunday Justine, big hint.)

I've already asked a question in adnvace so can't ask another, but just wanted to say, judging by the response to this webchat, you must officially be THE most fabulous and popular woman in the entire country. We all heart you loads.grin

P.S. Love the way you handled Simon Mayo's question about new lovers.

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:46:47

loujay

Hi Dawn,
Please can you tell me if you had your pick of potential hubands in Vicar of Dibley, and was the gorgeous Richard Armitage your first choice?
grin

Frankly, I did have the pick of potential husbands but I did ask for an older one - older than me that is. They told me Richard Armitage was 45. He was not! He was much younger, and when I found out I apologised to him for having to come to work and kiss an old lady every day.

Mind you, he didn't seem that bothered.

As Guy of Gisborne, he doesn't wear purely plastic or purely leather, he wears pleather.

MentalFloss Wed 03-Nov-10 19:46:57

I Love You Dawn French!

I have the VofD box set and literally watch every episode if I'm feeling down or upset.

I also love you in Psychoville and Roger & Val.

So my question is:

Do you prefer acting in more light hearted comedy or the darker comedy such as Psychoville?

ByThePowerOfGreyskull Wed 03-Nov-10 19:47:33

Hi dawn, silly irrelevant question,

am about to bake for school cake stall on friday, what do you think would be a good choice?

cornishpasty Wed 03-Nov-10 19:47:36

Hi Dawn
Really great to see you on here.
My two kids have recently discovered the vicar of dibley and are now huge fans of yours.
Thanks for making us all laugh so much.
x

MrsSchadenfreude Wed 03-Nov-10 19:48:20

Oh Dawn, if you turned down the OBE, you'll never be offered a Damehood! sad

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:48:51

ruddynorah

oooh grin

yes i too loved roger and val. and psychoville. you are a very clever lady. what do you have lined up for the coming year?

First of all I have to tell people about my new book A Tiny Bit Marvellous then I have to work with the writers of Roger and Val on the next series. Then I'm going to do a drama next year and going to write another novel (I think). Ooh and I'm going to do some radio with Jennifer around Christmas.

Deemented Wed 03-Nov-10 19:49:02

Hmm.. i may have just burnt dinner...

So Dawn, what's your favorite takeaway?

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Wed 03-Nov-10 19:49:05

Sitting here with you in front of me, I have just had a flash back to Girls on Top. I remember watching it (I was about 10 I think) and loving it - especially the bit where you stand over a mirror and look at your fanny. That really did happen in the show didn't it? I'm sure I'm not making it up.... It had never dawned on me to look at my fanny in a mirror ...........

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:49:10

Northernlight

Hi Dawn! <waves>

What is your relationship with Jennifer Saunders now? Do you see her regularly?

My relationship with Jennifer remains that of me as spectacularly talented, her as sinister stalker leech. And yes, saw her on Monday night, for tea. She has excellent new hair.

loujay Wed 03-Nov-10 19:49:16

grin
Thanks Dawn xxx

ShowOfHandsInEpistolaryForm Wed 03-Nov-10 19:50:05

MNHQ, will you print this off and send it to Dawn? Because it would be nice if she could read back how ridiculously in love with her we all are. No computer? Oh sweet moses. You must get loads done.

I watch Vicar of Dibley when feeling down. It got me through months of newborn hell, bfing etc. It's like an old friend.

MmeLindt Wed 03-Nov-10 19:50:11

Dawn
Fab webchat.

I would like to know what particular moment of your career are you most proud of. If you were to write your own obituary which sketch or passage from book should the BBC show?

Sorry if that is a bit morbid.

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:50:31

NotShortImFunSized

Dawn, why do you not own a computer?!

Is it because you're scared you might get addicted to MN and lose all powers to act/write and be funny ever again? grin

That's partly it, but the main reason is because I don't want any other forms of communication in my life and do not wish to learn anything new.

I have no need for information, on anybody, or anything.

tabouleh Wed 03-Nov-10 19:50:47

Dawn - are you a feminist?

<<Also want to know about whether you enjoyed kissing working with Richard Armitage>>

smokinaces Wed 03-Nov-10 19:51:02

Hi Dawn! I love so much of your work - though one of my favourites is still your spice girls impersonations grin

What have been your biggest highs and lows in 2010, what are you looking forward to in 2011?

RealityBomb Wed 03-Nov-10 19:51:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dawn, do you miss anything about living near Reading? I live there and sometimes find it difficult to find anything good about it!

TaudrieTattoo Wed 03-Nov-10 19:51:16

Do you write everything longhand and give it to a secretary to type up, then?

ShinySoloSparklySolo Wed 03-Nov-10 19:52:01

Good suggestion SOH.

FellatioNelson Wed 03-Nov-10 19:53:22

Is must be so odd having so many women telling you they all love you. Or do you get this everywhere you go?confused

(that's wasn't a second question Justine honestly - it was just me thinking aloud.)

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:53:36

dillydallydolly

Dawn just to echo the <3 fest..
I love you, your books, your writing, your acting, your comedy, Everything You in fact! Many thanks for the much cheering up of me over the years

Have you ever worked with Victoria Wood?

Would love to see it if you have? If not, WOW you would be an amazing duet ( hint hint wink ) xx

I have a very bad memory, but yes I have worked with Victoria Wood on a sketch for comic relief. Since I am in the pink fog of menopause, I can't remember when or where, or who... or what.. or why. Sorry can't be more specific. I'm a woman of a certain age.

ShinySoloSparklySolo Wed 03-Nov-10 19:54:43

hmmmmmmmmmm...<taps nose> @ menopause.

Thank you smile

Do you not ever just want to pop on for a gossip though?! Must say I never get the urge to actually, deliberately learn anything new but these damn MN'ers like to push their intelligence on you through stealth

<I know who you are envy>

FellatioNelson Wed 03-Nov-10 19:54:47

Reality Me too. Fancy trying it?

cryhavoc Wed 03-Nov-10 19:54:51

Oh, there is going to be another series of Roger and Val. Fab. I absolutely loved the first series - it took me entirely unawares and I bawled.

I can't think of a question that hasn't already been asked, but my husband and I once chased you (secretly) through The Oracle in Reading with the very new baby in the pram, because he didn't believe I'd spotted you.
Accused me of having delusional baby brain.(Hopefully you won't now say that you have never been to The Oracle and confirm husband as being correct).

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:55:05

ElephantsAndMiasmas

In fact Dawn, you've had your fair share of celebrity snogs - who's your favourite?

tinkgirl

You might have thought it would be George Clooney, or Johnny Depp, or Brad Pitt, but it was actually Jamie Theakston. I was blindfolded at the time, leave it with you.

No tongues, which was respectful for a first kiss.

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:55:38

BigHairyLeggedWerewolf

<has anyone asked the biscuit question yet>

If not....

What's your favorite biscuit Dawn!!

Don't be a fool my favourite biscuit is of course the mighty wagonwheel...<< controversy in MNHQ ensues as Justine says it's a cake not a biscuit >>

My definition of a biscuit is something you can insert whole into your mouth all at once.

I'm back!

<burps>

A serious question. Victoria Wood wrote a very emotional/angry piece in the Guardian recently about attitudes at the BBC towards writers/creators, and she was very critical about the way established talent is dealt with.

Have you experienced this treatment? How do you feel about the comments that she made?

I couldn't decide if it was an overblown sleb throwing their toys out of the pram because someone dared edit them, or a genuine complaint, given the current climate at the BBC post Ross/Brand.

What do you think?

(I think Victoria Wood is fab, by the way, but gauging her perspective wasn't easy)

RealityBomb Wed 03-Nov-10 19:56:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:56:22

tabouleh

Dawn - are you a feminist?

<<Also want to know about whether you enjoyed kissing working with Richard Armitage>>

I'd like to think so, but what I do know for sure is that I am female. And I challenge you to prove otherwise!

tinkgirl Wed 03-Nov-10 19:56:24

Hi Dawn,

I wanted you to know that the episode with the Church window on the vicar of dib and donating the money to the appeal was just so moving. There is nothing that the mix of laughter and saddiness together to remind us of how fortunate we are.

please keep on making us laugh - you really are a national treasure.

nameymcnamechange Wed 03-Nov-10 19:56:48

Hi Dawn, have just been listening to you chatting with Mark Lawson on R4 grin - spooky! I love Mark Lawson, always find him so interesting - did you think he was nice? Is he frighteningly intellectual?

Hi Dawn! Alreet pet?
I still wet myself laughing just thinking of your "interrupting sheep" joke...
What's the most amount of "takes" you've ever had to do?

yama Wed 03-Nov-10 19:57:05

Dh and I would like to know: When is Roger and Val coming back?

wonderstuff Wed 03-Nov-10 19:57:09

I think you're great, I loved Roger and Val and Jam and Jerusalm.

Can't think o a question grin

loulou77 Wed 03-Nov-10 19:57:15

More Roger and Val...YEAH!!!!!

Thank you, thank you...shall text my Mum, now, and tell her I have this from Dawn French herself

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 19:57:47

Just out of interest - know it's only been out since Thursday - has anyone read the new book?

ShowOfHandsInEpistolaryForm Wed 03-Nov-10 19:58:04

Wagon wheels? Who cares if they're cake or biscuit? They're gopping. Honestly, styrofoam, jam and crap chocolate. Why would you sully your tastebuds with such disgusting muck?

TaudrieTattoo Wed 03-Nov-10 19:58:04

Wagon Wheel, eh?

<yuk>

I'm having a penguin.

Hi Dawn. I loved Dear Fatty. Very amusing and moving.

However, I would like to know (with the exception of ms Saunders) who's your favourite comedienne?

Mwah!

ByThePowerOfGreyskull Wed 03-Nov-10 19:58:24

it is on my christmas list.. so not yet, sorry!

Imarriedafrog Wed 03-Nov-10 19:58:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LelloLorry Wed 03-Nov-10 19:58:47

No. Tell us what it's about and I might buy it though ;)

CheeryCherry Wed 03-Nov-10 19:58:50

Hi there Dawn! Sitting here in awe....but would like to know....what are you asking Father Christmas for this year? Cheers!!!

largewhizzingrocketandtonic Wed 03-Nov-10 19:59:24

Does Billie find you funny? Or does she just < yawn > and tut loudly?

Mine (increasingly) find me NOT funny and a little bit tedious.

They used to find me a font of all knowledge and very funny.

It is a bit depressing tbh. Although the upside is they can make me a coffee and a gin and tonic now grin

ShowOfHandsInEpistolaryForm Wed 03-Nov-10 19:59:38

I've ordered your new book. It's my Christmas present. grin

MillyMollyMardy Wed 03-Nov-10 19:59:44

I loved French and Saunders especially the take off of bands. If you had to do a band now who would it be and why?

sillynickers Wed 03-Nov-10 19:59:44

Oh dear, Im totally in awe, bows down, im not worthy, Im not worthy.

I have been a fan of yours for yonkies, and dear fatty is pride of place in my house.

Can you describe in detail what it was like working with the holy delightful yet gorgeously sinful Richard Armitage, and did you ever get the urge to order a chocolate fountain and simply drag him into it?

You are such an inspiration for me. Thank you for being quite frankly the funniest loveliest person on this planet!

sarah293 Wed 03-Nov-10 20:00:08

Message withdrawn

SalFresco Wed 03-Nov-10 20:00:10

I loved Roger and Val.

There are lots more interesting questions bouncing around but I really desperately want to know how you get your hair so shiny. It's gorgeous

ShinySoloSparklySolo Wed 03-Nov-10 20:00:17

Not got it yet. Saving as we type though.

RTKangaMummy Wed 03-Nov-10 20:00:30

My DH is getting me your new book TBM for Christmas

So I can give a verdict after then

smile

Haven't read new book as I didn't know there was a new book, but I do now and I'm going shopping tomorrow, a copy will have to accidently fall into my basket grin

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Wed 03-Nov-10 20:00:46

I haven't read the book yet - it's on my Christmas list.

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:00:48

MmeLindt

Dawn
Fab webchat.

I would like to know what particular moment of your career are you most proud of. If you were to write your own obituary which sketch or passage from book should the BBC show?

Sorry if that is a bit morbid.

At this point in time, I'm most proud of Roger and Val Has Just Got In.

Not sure what the second part means!

Or, let's put it this way then, absolutely know for sure, that when dead, the Vicar of Dibley theme tune will be being played. Find this equally hilarious and dreadful. FYI check out Bryn Terfel singing it - it's tip-top!

LelloLorry Wed 03-Nov-10 20:01:11

Me too, DH ordered it from amazon, bit unimpressed at him making me wait 'till xmas though.
Felt very naughty child like to be eyeing up his possible hiding spots blush

Judging by the questions on this thread, clearly the burning issue is when are we going to have a webchat with Richard Armitage?!!!

jpg Wed 03-Nov-10 20:01:19

Almost forgot about this, fortunately not grin

Dawn, your dad committed suicide, so did mine, how did you explain it to your daughter? My children have asked about mine and at the moment we have just said that he was very ill - ie mental illness. It is something that bothers me greatly sad

PS i love you too grin

OrangeAgate Wed 03-Nov-10 20:01:19

Hi Dawn,

Is your new book set in the present day or when you were growing up? Can you tell us more about it please? Thanks

FellatioNelson Wed 03-Nov-10 20:01:28

I haven't read it yet Dawn but of course I will immediately, if I get to come to the launch on Sunday. grin

And even if I don't. In fact, just for you, I'm going to order it from Amazon NOW. Kerr-ching!

<opens new tab> That's computer-speak, Dawn.

PictureThis Wed 03-Nov-10 20:01:31

I read the freebie in Waterstones and enjoyed it so it's on my birthday list (which is next week BTW)

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:01:36

stainesmassif

Hi Dawn. I loved Dear Fatty. Very amusing and moving.

However, I would like to know (with the exception of ms Saunders) who's your favourite comedienne?

Mwah!

Sorry, can't make an exception, definitely Ms Saunders.

vinvinoveritas Wed 03-Nov-10 20:02:11

grin <<shamelessly flings knickers wagon wheels at Dawn from the audience to thank her for longstanding brilliance>>

jonicomelately Wed 03-Nov-10 20:02:19

She answered my question grin I love her grin

mrsnoname Wed 03-Nov-10 20:02:28

Hello Dawn

I have a really silly/nosey qs, couldn't think of anything clever(er), but I also couldn't miss the opp to speak to you...

I listened to you on Absolute radio the other morning whilst doing the school run and had to stop the car because I was laughing so much, you were brill.
Towards the end of the interview you said 'hello' to your godson and Sophie.... just want to know who she is.
And also, I definitely think that you should do more radio - I'll be your listener forever!

Suziewoos Wed 03-Nov-10 20:02:29

* and breathe.. its Dawn, Its Dawn. So so nervous lmao

I AM Dawns bestest friend, she just does not actually know it yet! :P

On the song thing I seem to recall an Abba hit Dawn and Jennifer did lol (Silver cat suit?)

I would just like to know Dawn:- What new things you are working on and is there going to be more Dibley?

Thanks! :D

* and breathe

Ellielou02 Wed 03-Nov-10 20:02:36

Hi Dawn

Another fan here love your books and vicar of dib, french and saunders and have memories of watching you on Girls on top!

I would like to know what you do to relax.

ShirleyGunpowderPlot Wed 03-Nov-10 20:02:40

jpg - me too sweetheart. I'll PM you. x

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:02:44

largewhizzingrocketandtonic

Does Billie find you funny? Or does she just < yawn > and tut loudly?

Mine (increasingly) find me NOT funny and a little bit tedious.

They used to find me a font of all knowledge and very funny.

It is a bit depressing tbh. Although the upside is they can make me a coffee and a gin and tonic now grin

Billie couldn't be less interested in anything I do. Which is quite right.

PictureThis Wed 03-Nov-10 20:02:46

and meant to add do feel free to send me a signed copy as a birthday present wink

nameymcnamechange Wed 03-Nov-10 20:03:03

Lots of Mnetters will be putting your new book A TINY BIT MARVELLOUS on their Christmas lists, deffo.

Can't stop myself from putting book/play/ screenplay titles etc in caps (even though convention has it that caps is the equivalent of SHOUTING on the internet) because thats how its been done in the trade for years loves.

LeQueen Wed 03-Nov-10 20:03:35

Evening Dawn

I'd like to ask of what are you most proud?

[We'll take your ability to maintain a professional demeanor and not eat Richard Armitage alive on the set of Dibley as a given...So you'll need to think up something equally impressive]

Mwah.

BigHairyLeggedWerewolf Wed 03-Nov-10 20:03:47

Wagon Wheels are the ultimate biscuit. So glammed up they reach the limit of the biscuit/cake interface, creating confusion amongst the non-believers.... you are a wise woman indeed! grin

jpg Wed 03-Nov-10 20:04:37

Oohh how exciting, in the 5 years I have been on here I have never had a pm before sad, I look forward to it blush

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:04:56

pinkyredrose

I'm sat here with a glass of red, have been looking forward to this for days! What are you doing after this chat Dawn?

Dunno, what you suggesting pinkyredrose?

Oooh a reply! Thanks ms French, you've given me palpitations! x

MmeLindt Wed 03-Nov-10 20:05:02

Dawn
I mean that which moment if your career would YOU like to be remembered for. Not what you are most famous for. So, instead of VoD, would it be Roger and Val, F&S, your books? But I guess you have answered that.

ByThePowerOfGreyskull Wed 03-Nov-10 20:05:05

please answer my question about what to cook for the cake stall, it is a fundraiser and I am sure we could get extra money for it if it had recommended choice over the internet in webchat by Dawn French (very small print saying that Dawn has never actually seen or tasted said cake made by greyskull)

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:05:11

OrangeAgate

Hi Dawn,

Is your new book set in the present day or when you were growing up? Can you tell us more about it please? Thanks

Set in the present day, it's about a family called the Battles who are (this is a problem I've had all alone - being concise about it!) who are all living in their own personal bubbles and not taking enough notice of each other.

Whilst all of their eyes are off the ball, a big dangerous thing happens and so the family have to pull together to sort it out.

This may sound quite serious! And although parts of it are, I hope it's funny, and a bit moving. FYI also has quite a lot of sex and swearing in...

tinkgirl Wed 03-Nov-10 20:05:17

ever thought of running for prime minister - you'd do a better job grin

SalFresco Wed 03-Nov-10 20:05:28

noddyholder - obviously you and I have similarly highbrow concerns grin

I had a tiny little look at your book in Asda today

BigHairyLeggedWerewolf Wed 03-Nov-10 20:05:31

Oh, and I've already ordered your book. Loved Dear Fatty, even though my Best Friend left my copy on a train! angry

Ilythia Wed 03-Nov-10 20:05:40

Mmmm, wagonwheels. <<drools>>

They aren't really smaller you know, sad but true.

YoginiBikini Wed 03-Nov-10 20:05:45

I'm quite annoyed with you Dawn.

I've been trying desperately to stay away from Mumsnet for a while now, but you've deviously lured me back in. How could I miss saying hello to you ....Hello...

I'll never get anything done in life now. It's all your fault. Mumsnet is a swamp of cosiness and comfort. It's addictive I tell you. Leave now!!

You are lovely though

<wanders off to look at Style and Beauty and AIBU>

Do you have to wear super absorbent knickers just in case u wee yourself due to excessive laughter?? wink

RealityBomb Wed 03-Nov-10 20:06:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

We like swearing ...

ShowOfHandsInEpistolaryForm Wed 03-Nov-10 20:06:21

Desist with the Wagon Wheel adoration. They're Beelzebub's Vomit and the fact that so many of you believe otherwise makes me fear for the state of this country. Maybe the Daily Mail is right about that after all. Oh God that's awful.

I need a lie down.

LeQueen Wed 03-Nov-10 20:06:25

Oh, and by the way my best mate has met you in real life, you once compared your legs and you kindly declared her's were the better. She reported that you are every bit as lovely, and witty and warm as you appear on screen.

Mwah.

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:06:59

FellatioNelson

I haven't read it yet Dawn but of course I will immediately, if I get to come to the launch on Sunday. grin

And even if I don't. In fact, just for you, I'm going to order it from Amazon NOW. Kerr-ching!

<opens new tab> That's computer-speak, Dawn.

Darling Fellatio I can do nothing but thank you from the heart of my bottom

Could you be a sweetheart and buy a few 'cos need to be high up on the charts this week and if you could review it favourably on Amazon and Mumsnet would be eternally grateful.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Wed 03-Nov-10 20:07:19

Thanks for answering. Jamie Theakston eh? <considers>

Yorky Wed 03-Nov-10 20:07:26

Thought you might be entertained to know that we got married the day after the Christmas special with the chocolate fountain - and we had a chocolate fountain at our reception!

And my cousin sang the Lord is my Shepherd instead of a 2nd reading - it wasn't really a VoD tribute, honest!

rosieposey Wed 03-Nov-10 20:07:27

Yep it's on my Christmas list. It's been a while since someone called me janner ahhhh the memories...

TaudrieTattoo Wed 03-Nov-10 20:07:34

I've never had a Wagon Wheel that didn't taste off.

I keep giving them another chance, but no. Always crap.

I have never been failed by a Penguin.

pinkyredrose Wed 03-Nov-10 20:07:43

*** pinkyredrose

I'm sat here with a glass of red, have been looking forward to this for days! What are you doing after this chat Dawn?

Dunno, what you suggesting pinkyredrose?*****


Well you could join me for a glass of wine of course?!

wonderstuff Wed 03-Nov-10 20:08:07

I completly agree with you SOH

JustineMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 03-Nov-10 20:08:16

fridascruffs

Dawn for President. Or, you know, queen.

She'd never accept it grin.

sarah293 Wed 03-Nov-10 20:08:17

Message withdrawn

Reggiee Wed 03-Nov-10 20:08:23

Hi Dawn

I really need a big belly laugh this evening. Probably already been asked, but please can you tell me your favourite funniest joke.

I'll up pinkys glass and offer you a bottle grin

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:08:30

jpg

Almost forgot about this, fortunately not grin

Dawn, your dad committed suicide, so did mine, how did you explain it to your daughter? My children have asked about mine and at the moment we have just said that he was very ill - ie mental illness. It is something that bothers me greatly sad

PS i love you too grin

My dad committed suicide when I was 18, so my daughter wasn't around yet. I have since tried to explain it to her, and you're right, it's very difficult. But it's very important to be honest.

I would definitely say that you should explain that depression is an illness, not just a sadness, because kids can get frightened by that otherwise.

Good luck.

starnosemole Wed 03-Nov-10 20:08:36

Dear Dawn,
I like it best when you and your comedy partner Jennifer Saunders are in the white room. You have made me laff many times, thanks.

Are you recognised everywhere you go, or are there some countries where you can wander anonymously? and if not, is it worth it?

FellatioNelson Wed 03-Nov-10 20:08:38

Your wish is my command Dawn. <faints>

jemjabella Wed 03-Nov-10 20:08:42

I fancy a wagon wheel now. Not had one of them in years.

ShinySoloSparklySolo Wed 03-Nov-10 20:08:51

Sneaks another a question in...

Is Billie short for anything Dawn?

TaudrieTattoo Wed 03-Nov-10 20:08:51

Oh Riven, that's lovely.

FellatioNelson Wed 03-Nov-10 20:09:30

She called me Darling. That's it. The rest of you are toast. I'm her favourite.

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:09:35

LeQueen

Evening Dawn

I'd like to ask of what are you most proud?

[We'll take your ability to maintain a professional demeanor and not eat Richard Armitage alive on the set of Dibley as a given...So you'll need to think up something equally impressive]

Mwah.

Sorry to be dull, but am def most of proud of daughter who is mad and dangerous but utterly loveable.

Second thing I'm most proud of is chest.

LeQueen Wed 03-Nov-10 20:09:45

Fellatio where have you been Sweetie shock

Haven't seen you in ages, and then I turn around and there you are brown-nosing the local sleb [shoulders Fellatio out of the way with a deft body swerve - smiles very brightly and gushes 'Hi Dawn soooooooo lovely to meet you, great hair, I love your book by the way...]

MardyBra Wed 03-Nov-10 20:09:50

Hello Dawn - another huge fan - and enjoying the webchat.

You are the sleb I most resemble. I even have glossy hair on a good day. Will you play me when they make a film of my life?

ShowOfHandsInEpistolaryForm Wed 03-Nov-10 20:09:50

They do taste off don't they? The taste a lot like somebody had an idea for a food stuff, didn't really think it through properly, left it on a shelf for a while and some idiot marketed it as a treat.

RealityBomb Wed 03-Nov-10 20:09:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OrangeAgate Wed 03-Nov-10 20:09:51

Sounds good! Actually sounds like my life smile Except mine has less sex!!!

CheeryCherry Wed 03-Nov-10 20:09:58

Reading this has just made my mind up for my next book group read! Its my choice next so you have solved my problem! So thanks for that - and theres another 10 books sold for you!!! wink

inspookexplosive Wed 03-Nov-10 20:10:19

Wagon Wheels are great <thinks about ditching diet and popping to the shops>

Have to say though, anyone that chooses the ones without jam in is seriously misguided grin

Now, must think of a serious question...

sillynickers Wed 03-Nov-10 20:10:35

Indeed Miss Dawn, My darling husband also likes your chest very very much. Its a close second after mine of course! wink

ShirleyGunpowderPlot Wed 03-Nov-10 20:10:35

<dangerously silent>

tinkgirl Wed 03-Nov-10 20:10:36

oh yes a big chest always helps .......

actually can't think of one time when it hasn't.. grin

bozzykinz Wed 03-Nov-10 20:10:48

Hi Dawn!! I am just going to be cheeky and come out with this.... Would you sign a copy of your book and auction it on Ebay for the National Autistic Society please?
btw I grew up with you and you will ALWAYS be my fave comedienne xxx

RealityBomb Wed 03-Nov-10 20:11:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

grayal Wed 03-Nov-10 20:11:12

hi dawn, where do you get inspiration for your characters? Do you people watch?
PS You're TOTALLY fab.

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:11:20

Reggiee

Hi Dawn

I really need a big belly laugh this evening. Probably already been asked, but please can you tell me your favourite funniest joke.

Ok here goes.... It's in extremely poor taste so forgive:

Old MacDonald had Tourettes- ei, ei, cock

Charliepw Wed 03-Nov-10 20:11:20

Dawn French
I personally hold you responsible (and that good for nothing sidekick) for not picking me to be in one of the Comic Strip episodes.
You came to my school and picked a pretty blond to play a receptionist or something like that.
I could of been your best friend by now, or even a sleb or better still your lovely sleb best friend.

Seriously though you and Saunders are up there with the gods for me.

Can I bring my girls over for tea to fill up your empty home?

Charlie
X

ShowOfHandsInEpistolaryForm Wed 03-Nov-10 20:11:30

Riven, that's lovely about C. smile

RealityBomb Wed 03-Nov-10 20:11:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AmpleBosom Wed 03-Nov-10 20:11:51

Hi Dawn,

just wanted to say i came to watch you and Alison Moyet in the play Smaller at Manchester <You probably remember me i was on the front row > and i thought it was amazing.

My question is who makes you laugh?

Oh and if you want my mumsnet name i'll let you have it, i think it would suit you wink

(I know, i know i've already posted this once) grin

Jenski Wed 03-Nov-10 20:11:55

Hi Dawn
Am I right in thinking you are from Plymouth? If so, do you think the place has anything going for it? hmm

x

BangingNoise Wed 03-Nov-10 20:11:59

Dawn, I've just seen a magazine in the supermarket that says you are back with your ex. Is that not Lenny then?

MmeLindt Wed 03-Nov-10 20:12:04

Just wanted to note that the new book is available as a Kindle edition and I have downloaded it.

TaudrieTattoo Wed 03-Nov-10 20:12:07

Yes, SoH.

A biscuit should never be bendy.

And you should not be able to see through the 'chocolate'.

<hoists bosom>

LeQueen Wed 03-Nov-10 20:12:47

OMG! Blushes, curtseys in deference, attempts to tug forelock then realises she's not in a costume drama...

I totally agree. I am also most proud of having achieved two beautiful daughters, but then I've also achieved a FF cup, so it's a close call hmm

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:12:51

Ellielou02

Hi Dawn

Another fan here love your books and vicar of dib, french and saunders and have memories of watching you on Girls on top!

I would like to know what you do to relax.

Don't do much relaxing at the mo, and that is a mistake. When given the chance, I would watch Dog the Bounty Hunter, and eat a pasty at the same time whilst in the bath - that would be perfect.

<hopes she might get noticed>

QOD Wed 03-Nov-10 20:13:13

OOOOH the delectable Dawn, you always make me laugh, we are apparently very alike in mannerisms ........ and in the boobage area it has to be said!

I battled infertility for years and finally had a daughter through surrogacy and have an almost 12 yr old daughter now, so glad you were blessed with your Billie - all the pain flies right out the window doesn't it!

I feel a bit oring - like I should make you laugh!

My daughter is totally "Alice" - I tell her jokes and she responds so like her.... here's my latest..........

"Why did the bake have dirty hands??.......... because he kneaded a poo"

Took her a looooooooooong time and several demonstrations............

sillynickers Wed 03-Nov-10 20:13:13

Who would not want to eat Richard Armitage or Clive Mantle when theyve been covered in warm chocolate????

FellatioNelson Wed 03-Nov-10 20:13:24

leQueen I have been here but I was wearing my Halloween name - GivesHeadlessHorseman

Don't tell me I was too subtle for you?

(sorry to hijack your chat, Dawn - do continue.)

SueBa Wed 03-Nov-10 20:14:07

Dear Saint Dawn,

I loved Dear Fatty and I'm really looking forward to reading your new book. When you've finished writing and are looking at the finished printed article, do you ever wish there were bits you could go back and change?

inspookexplosive Wed 03-Nov-10 20:14:16

Do you have a TV in your bathroom then?

Oh, how the other half lives wink

QOD Wed 03-Nov-10 20:14:16

BAKER not bake

tsk - have had fake nails put on and I type like an idiot now - also can't pick my nose or squeeze my spots - not that I do either.....

sarah293 Wed 03-Nov-10 20:14:34

Message withdrawn

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:15:12

grayal

hi dawn, where do you get inspiration for your characters? Do you people watch?
PS You're TOTALLY fab.

I definitely people watch, and I'm watching you, RIGHT NOW.

Be afraid, be very afraid.

ShowOfHandsInEpistolaryForm Wed 03-Nov-10 20:15:18

That stuff on a Wagon Wheel is not chocolate. It's what would happen if you explained the theory of chocolate to somebody without allowing them to taste it. That's what they'd create. A pale, bland, insulting imitation of chocolate.

And Tea Cakes Reality? Good God you lot really need to try putting something pleasurable in your mouths.

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:15:27

RealityBomb

Wagon Wheels are vile.

I like Tea cakes.

Oh my god!

NeverGhoul Wed 03-Nov-10 20:15:46

Seriously though, can you eat a wagonwheel in one bite???
You're amaaaazing. grin

BigHairyLeggedWerewolf Wed 03-Nov-10 20:16:04

Pasty in the bath.... whilst watching TV.

Ohhhh Heaven.

Ivor Dewneys of course!

MardyBra Wed 03-Nov-10 20:16:07

Hello Dawn. My MIL made a sneaky sarcastic comment about my weight last week. Do you have any good putdowns for people who don't appreciate the curves?

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:16:14

RealityBomb

I am drinking Fosters out of the can because I don't want to go to the shop for wine and miss you, Dawn.

That's an honour.

Thank you for drinking Fosters in my honour... but I suspect it's not unusual for you. Be honest.

Ellielou02 Wed 03-Nov-10 20:16:19

OOOh my MIL makes fab pasty's, she is from Devon

sillynickers Wed 03-Nov-10 20:16:20

So what is the "Ultimate" chocolate for you then, you know the one that makes you drool just thinking of it?

minipen Wed 03-Nov-10 20:16:25

Hi Dawn,
Do you realise how many peoples Christmas shopping problems you have solved by having a new book out?

<waves>

LeQueen Wed 03-Nov-10 20:16:27

fellatio shit, I have a horrible feeling that means we had some rather heated bandiage last week, doesn't it [cringe]

tinkgirl Wed 03-Nov-10 20:16:30

me me me me ...

what's the biggest thing you've put into your mouth??? grin

"Seriously though, can you eat a wagonwheel in one bite???
You're amaaaazing."

No wonder all these men want to snog her wink

applecrumbleandcream Wed 03-Nov-10 20:16:44

Hi Dawn, I would like to ask where do you like to go to relax on holiday?

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:17:10

FellatioNelson

Is must be so odd having so many women telling you they all love you. Or do you get this everywhere you go?confused

(that's wasn't a second question Justine honestly - it was just me thinking aloud.)

I must say it is lovely at the moment getting so loved up, but frankly I could handle more.

worryingaboutxmasalready Wed 03-Nov-10 20:17:11

Dog the bounty hunter...!!?? Ha ha!! Now I'd never have expected that of you Dawn French :O

RealityBomb Wed 03-Nov-10 20:17:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rosieposey Wed 03-Nov-10 20:17:31

Mmmm ivor dewneys the shortcrust ones are the best.

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:17:52

MmeLindt

Just wanted to note that the new book is available as a Kindle edition and I have downloaded it.

Thank you for downloading it, I felt it when you did that and it was lovely. Please do it again soon.

NeverGhoul Wed 03-Nov-10 20:18:05

I've heard that wagonwheels are actually just stale biscuits left lying around a bit by mcvities before they package them up and call them a wagonwheel.

Anyway, does Adrian Edmondson drive a convertable in South Devon?, think I saw him but i've never been sure.

SWOOOOOOON I am totally utterly in love with you Dawn, everything you do and have ever done is nothing short of pure genius, can we be bestest friends???

Is that better?!

LelloLorry Wed 03-Nov-10 20:18:53

Michael Mcintyre is very funny, just incase you don't watch Dave and endless repeats of Topgear in your house, Riven:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9Zf2pFQltQ
Not sure how old your DD is, so might not appreciate though.
(That's Michael Mcintyre on topgear, he has a funny few lines about his first car somewhere there, made DD2 laugh for ages)

ShirleyGunpowderPlot Wed 03-Nov-10 20:18:55

I don't think I've ever seen such a love fest here.

Nest of vipers, MY ARSE.

OrangeAgate Wed 03-Nov-10 20:18:57

Did you get Take That tickets? Which one would you? wink

NormaStanleyFlashBangAahhhh Wed 03-Nov-10 20:19:00

<<logs on to kindle store>>

TrinityTheTwattyRhino Wed 03-Nov-10 20:19:07

I LOVE YOU grin

jpg Wed 03-Nov-10 20:19:13

Thank you so much Dawn, my dad died when I was in primary school so my children haven't had to go through the suicide - thank goodness, they just want to know all about him and are very interested in death at the moment.......................

Are you disappointed by how fawning we have all been?!

Were you expecting to be savaged by the nest of vipers, a la Nick Clegg?

grin

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:19:22

BangingNoise

Dawn, I've just seen a magazine in the supermarket that says you are back with your ex. Is that not Lenny then?

Which magazine, which ex? I hope it's not George Clooney. I've told him to get lost, he keeps defying me.

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:19:26

tinkgirl

me me me me ...

what's the biggest thing you've put into your mouth??? grin

Two wagon wheels at same time. And then, dream on.

LilyBolero Wed 03-Nov-10 20:19:27

Oh Dawn, I have to, HAVE to tell you, dh and I both work in a church (not as clergy though), and both of us have to take handkerchiefs to stuff in our mouths for the carol services, for "Be not afraid". Your response "No - Be afraid, Be VERY afraid" is otherwise likely to escape loudly from our mouths. Which would be unfortunate! It is the best line ever ever ever!

MrsHypDip Wed 03-Nov-10 20:19:33

Hello Dawn! My poor son is calling for his mummy but should be asleep and I am ignoring him so I can chat to you!! (I'm not really a bad person, I am sending his father to see what he wants not just leaving him calling to no-one!!)

Anyway, my question - what will be on your christmas dinner menu this year?

I reiterate what everyone else feels and has said on here - you are FAB!!! Thank you for keeping us smiling and laughing while you are hard working!! grin xx

LeQueen Wed 03-Nov-10 20:19:40

"Hello Dawn. My MIL made a sneaky sarcastic comment about my weight last week. Do you have any good putdowns for people who don't appreciate the curves?"

MardyBra far be it for me to interject, as I'm sure Dawn is mistress of the pithy riposte.

But, can I humbly suggest that old favourite "Whilst I may be overweight, you however are incredibly rude and really quite ugly. But at least I can diet."

Just a suggestion.

minipen Wed 03-Nov-10 20:19:49

Dawn, are you on mumsnet under another name? You are so funny even on here I suspect you may be

Yours awefully

minipen (obviously my real name)

Dawn, would you mind coming to mine later/tomorrow and just explaining to my dp why I didn't actually go out and get the bread and milk?
only he'll notice in the morning when he goes to make my coffee and toast confused

i mean, i could go now... but... but...

BangingNoise Wed 03-Nov-10 20:19:52

<wanders off to good kindle store>

sarah293 Wed 03-Nov-10 20:19:58

Message withdrawn

chimchARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH Wed 03-Nov-10 20:19:58

tunnocks tea cakes are the way forward.
om nom nom....

i LOVE your joke...just laughed my head off! grin

you didn't answer my questions from ages ago <whines>

who to win x factor? grin

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:20:07

TrinityTheTwattyRhino

I LOVE YOU grin

I love you too. No, really, I mean it.

StripeyMoon Wed 03-Nov-10 20:20:10

wagon wheels are very like Kimberley biscuits in that sort of stale taste. love them both though grin

vinvinoveritas Wed 03-Nov-10 20:20:32

Dawn, my daughter died last year after 2 failed liver transplants.. I want to do something to raise money for the charity and as you are wise, wonderful and hilarious could you suggest what one thing I could do to raise money and I will do that?

Disclaimer: I can't run any further than the kitchen or local wine shop

nelix2000 Wed 03-Nov-10 20:20:42

I am a total arse!!! How could I not know you had released and book AND asked you on here if you were ever planning to do so!!!blush evidently my question does not need answered....shall buy a copy and redeem myself....will you sign it for me?

To amazon I go......

bettypage Wed 03-Nov-10 20:20:51

Hello Dawn,
you always look amazing and you always inspire me to give up the latest diet! who needs to be thin when there's beauties like you?
Take care x

rosieposey Wed 03-Nov-10 20:21:02

I sat behind Adrian and jennifer when the first Harry potter came out in Exeter. everybody who is anybody lives in the west country!

BangingNoise Wed 03-Nov-10 20:21:11

OOOooooh she answered my question! grin
I think it was Bella or Best. I just saw the cover but I daren't pick it up in case I aged by 20 years. There was a nice picture of you on the front.
If you don't need George anymore, feel free to send him my way...

sarah293 Wed 03-Nov-10 20:21:14

Message withdrawn

TrinityTheTwattyRhino Wed 03-Nov-10 20:21:29

<swoon> awwww I'm so so happy smile

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:21:44

OrangeAgate

Did you get Take That tickets? Which one would you? wink

Not yet but def will. Can't choose between the boys, don't make me.

I love you too smile

<keeps hoping to be noticed blush>

MardyBra Wed 03-Nov-10 20:21:55

Yes, the old Winston Churchill one LeQueen wink. Just wondered if I could REALLY get a good sideswipe into the MIL next time

LelloLorry Wed 03-Nov-10 20:22:00

MardyBra Whilst I'm not Dawn French either, along the lines of LeQueens put down 'I can change my weight, but you're stuck with that face.'
(Most often)

largewhizzingrocketandtonic Wed 03-Nov-10 20:22:14

< swoon >

I am thrilled tou answered my question smile

Quite right, as it should be. They will move on to some other person to look up to.

Some of mine are currently on Michael Jackson hmm

RealityBomb Wed 03-Nov-10 20:22:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spertyporson Wed 03-Nov-10 20:22:51

Running Away Together, Running Away Forever, Angelo

Hi Dawn

I love all your work incl Girls on Top yonks ago and French & Saunders.

Your F&S sketches don't seem to be on YouTube? I'd love to get hold of the one you did as two ex-pat ladies across the class divide...

RealityBomb Wed 03-Nov-10 20:23:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tinkgirl Wed 03-Nov-10 20:23:12

wow - two wagon wheels in at the same time.... I'da managed two wheels and a jammy dodger.

MmeLindt Wed 03-Nov-10 20:23:12

QUICK MNHQ. LOCK THE DOOR.

Can you kidnap Dawn and make her stay forever and ever.

We will spend all night downloading her book and chatting.

sillynickers Wed 03-Nov-10 20:23:19

Would you come to a come dine with me dinner?
Guaranteed to have a dessert full of chocolate profiteroles!!!! grin

TrinityTheTwattyRhino Wed 03-Nov-10 20:23:20

<hops about excitedly>

I got an answer and I didn't even say something good grin

inspookexplosive Wed 03-Nov-10 20:23:30

Dawn, am loving this chat.

My question is really on behalf of dd who insists that she would like to be a 'comehedeen' when she grows up hmm - What is the best piece of advice you have ever been given regarding your career?

I would like to ask what is your best bit of advice about life in general?

ps - dd is only 6, so not any real competition for you grin

Her joke of the moment is...
"My bottom's not perfect - It's got a crack in it"

traceybath Wed 03-Nov-10 20:23:48

Book purchased.

And the sketch you did years ago the stuff and nonsense ladies who legs fell off and they carried on regardless - my sister and I still reference that constantly.

And I loved Raw Sex.

sarah293 Wed 03-Nov-10 20:23:52

Message withdrawn

BigHairyLeggedWerewolf Wed 03-Nov-10 20:23:57

Oh Trinity! <sits next to Trinity hoping the love will rub off!>

BangingNoise Wed 03-Nov-10 20:23:58

Dawn, I still laugh out loud when I think of the ballet dancing episode of the Vicar of Dibley. You looked far better in a tutu than Darcey grin

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:24:10

nelix2000

I am a total arse!!! How could I not know you had released and book AND asked you on here if you were ever planning to do so!!!blush evidently my question does not need answered....shall buy a copy and redeem myself....will you sign it for me?

To amazon I go......

Will certainly sign it for you, if you turn up this Sunday at the Old Vic where I am doing an interview about the book with Sue Perkins.

Will also be doing exclusive readings. Tickets are available here

FellatioNelson Wed 03-Nov-10 20:24:56

Oh. My. God.

Two responses. Is that a record on webchats? Technically I shouldn't have asked that second question so the fact that you answered it might mean I get blackballed, or Justine's Henchmen might come for me in the night.If I'm not here tomorrow, people, you'll know why.

LeQueen I don't remember any heated badinage, but anyway, I'm SOOO over you, now I have Dawn in my life. You and you FF cups are history. I bet Dawn's are waaay further up the alphabet.

ginodacampoismydh Wed 03-Nov-10 20:24:56

just remembered you are on here...are u a real life mumsnetter?

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:25:05

Doing something on Sunday Night which I've never done before btw, which is at The Old Vic Theatre in London. I am performing readings from my new book A Tiny Bit Marvellous, with two other actors one of whom is BT Edmonson (Jennifer's daughter).

Am bit nervous so please come along and support me. Signing books at the end.

sarah293 Wed 03-Nov-10 20:25:06

Message withdrawn

BigHairyLeggedWerewolf Wed 03-Nov-10 20:25:25

Woohoo!

Wait a minute... How exclusive?!?

<stalks Dawn AGAIN!>

My hubby would like to know if you could have anybody reincarnated as your bra who would it be and why? He says please can it be him??? grin

MardyBra Wed 03-Nov-10 20:25:40

Reality so tempting...

Nonnatus Wed 03-Nov-10 20:25:40

Just joined this site and this is my very first time on a live web chat thingy... I am feeling the love on here and it's very warm and chocolatey

Anyway, Dawn I feel I have a book in me but I just can't find it - anywhere! How do I find it?????

Anyway being as I haven't found it (yet!) I am putting your new book on my pressie list for Xmas in the hope it may inspire a future literary outburst.

Much loves
x

spertyporson Wed 03-Nov-10 20:25:45

<meant> Running Away Together, Tom & Amanda

See? I really do remember Girls on Top

nelix2000 Wed 03-Nov-10 20:25:49

Gah Dawn, if only!!! I am in the wilds of Scotland! you could just pop up for a cuppa though, I wouldn't mind....

sarah293 Wed 03-Nov-10 20:26:04

Message withdrawn

Hulababy Wed 03-Nov-10 20:26:04

Just ordered book from Amazon grin

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:26:04

BangingNoise

OOOooooh she answered my question! grin
I think it was Bella or Best. I just saw the cover but I daren't pick it up in case I aged by 20 years. There was a nice picture of you on the front.
If you don't need George anymore, feel free to send him my way...

Thank you very much - we'll check that out. George will turn up at your door at some point in the future, can't be more specific.

RealityBomb Wed 03-Nov-10 20:26:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShowOfHandsInEpistolaryForm Wed 03-Nov-10 20:26:24

London?

Is that in Norfolk?

nameymcnamechange Wed 03-Nov-10 20:26:34

<Blatantly ignoring the one question rule>

Dawn, how come you never appear on panel shows like QI, or Have I Got News? I am sure you would make an excellent panellist, a la Jo Brand, and I'd love to see more women on shows like that.

Jenski Wed 03-Nov-10 20:26:39

My daughter likes hearing you read Kipper's Toybox smile - I have no idea where the little cd came from though?????

Reggiee Wed 03-Nov-10 20:26:54

Ohhhh you answered smile.

Good luck with the book!

LilyBolero Wed 03-Nov-10 20:27:08

yy, come to Bristol, come to tea at my house, I make a fab chocolate cake, always make one for dh to take into work on his birthday, his workmates are vvv envy of his cake-making-wife!

vinvinoveritas Wed 03-Nov-10 20:27:12

If I buy 20 of your latest book and supply many wagon wheels will you stay at MNHQ all week please? You are by far the best webchat guest we have ever had - who needs David Cameron? Dawn for PM!

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:27:26

vinvinoveritas

Dawn, my daughter died last year after 2 failed liver transplants.. I want to do something to raise money for the charity and as you are wise, wonderful and hilarious could you suggest what one thing I could do to raise money and I will do that?

Disclaimer: I can't run any further than the kitchen or local wine shop

Sorry to hear that, how bloody awful. A great thing to do is an auction. Get twatty slebs like me to sign items for you to sell. But don't ask the slebs to turn up – because they just won't.

LeQueen Wed 03-Nov-10 20:27:26

mardybra or one of my personal favourites, whispeed confidentially and with a concerned little smile say "Did you know, the room always seems that little bit more empty when you walk in?'

ShirleyGunpowderPlot Wed 03-Nov-10 20:27:56

<tempted>

I love Sue Perkins as well...

sarah293 Wed 03-Nov-10 20:27:57

Message withdrawn

BigHairyLeggedWerewolf Wed 03-Nov-10 20:28:11

LeQueens got FF cups?

<stalks leQueen>

TrinityTheTwattyRhino Wed 03-Nov-10 20:28:17

this is my clain to fame

dawn french told me she loved me

<hops about>
<gets all unneccessary>

LeninGuido Wed 03-Nov-10 20:28:30

You should come on Mumsnet, all of human life is here, and a few others.

OrangeAgate Wed 03-Nov-10 20:28:34

Thanks for the chat Dawn, needed that! And thank you for answering two of my questions.

sarah293 Wed 03-Nov-10 20:28:49

Message withdrawn

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:28:53

By the way, in youth txt speak, what does COD mean? Just wondered....

LilyBolero Wed 03-Nov-10 20:28:55

<looks slyly round the room and trips riven over... ;) >

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:28:56

vinvinoveritas

If I buy 20 of your latest book and supply many wagon wheels will you stay at MNHQ all week please? You are by far the best webchat guest we have ever had - who needs David Cameron? Dawn for PM!

I agree, who needs David Cameron? Why don't you buy the 20 copies anyway and see.

jonicomelately Wed 03-Nov-10 20:29:14

Me too ShirleyGunpowderPlot!

ShirleyGunpowderPlot Wed 03-Nov-10 20:29:39

shock

COD?!

hahahaha

ginodacampoismydh Wed 03-Nov-10 20:29:51

if you are real life mneter what do you think about feeding dcs gregs for lunch every day?

LelloLorry Wed 03-Nov-10 20:29:51

What do you mean 'make an excellent panelist, a la Jo Brand'?
I always thought JB was a awful panelist.
But that's maybe cause I prefer male comedians, no idea why confused.
Comedy shows are more about the one liners though, aren't they?
Jo Brand's a bit more of a storyteller iykwim.
Hope I'm not confusing her with someone else.

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:29:51

ShirleyGunpowderPlot

<tempted>

I love Sue Perkins as well...

Yes, so do I, more than you do!

MardyBra Wed 03-Nov-10 20:30:04

<gets notebook out and starts scribbling>

That one is devine LeQ.

<Makes mental note never to be manoeuvred into a corner by LeQ>

TaudrieTattoo Wed 03-Nov-10 20:30:12

Is it Call Of Duty?

Sparklers0nMyHead Wed 03-Nov-10 20:30:14

Oh bum....I bloody missed this!

RealityBomb Wed 03-Nov-10 20:30:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

vinvinoveritas Wed 03-Nov-10 20:30:24

Thanks Dawn! I will buy 20 copies, turn up at the old vic as I live nearby, and force you to sign them for charity grin

Best of all, no running involved!

kuckingfunt Wed 03-Nov-10 20:30:28

Dawn

Oh gawd I love you!

Just how big are your boobs? My DP adores them and I am very envious!!

Love your book, infact I am buying it for my mum for Christmas, surely you can make the miserable cow smile grin

SalFresco Wed 03-Nov-10 20:30:37

mardybra what I do with nasty comments - especially ones couched as jokes as my MIL does - is look confused and say, I'm sorry...I don't get it..." Nothing takes the wind out of a nasty persons sails quite like having to explain their bitchy comment. They look really silly, and you retain moral high ground.

<<looks down loftily from vantage point>>

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Wed 03-Nov-10 20:30:56

traceybath - I remember that sketch. The old horsey ladies 'it's a load of bloody stuff and nonsense'. My friends and I would always reenact the sketches the next day at school.

This web chat has made me realise how much Dawn and Jennifer have been in my life smile

Also I remember a sketch where Jennifer is in the playground with a hat and mitten on, eating a HUGE wagon wheel. Then Dawn is slowly inching towards her eyeing up the wagon wheel, then just as Dawn is about to launch herself at it Jennifer stuffs it down. I'm guessing the wagon wheel wasn't a coincidence? grin

MTTomb Wed 03-Nov-10 20:31:03

Call Of Duty?? maybe

<<sits quietly in the corner>>>

I am not keen on Wagon Wheels. Dairy milk all the way for me.

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:31:07

MardyBra

Hello Dawn. My MIL made a sneaky sarcastic comment about my weight last week. Do you have any good putdowns for people who don't appreciate the curves?

'I can always lose weight if I wish, however you cannot gain brain cells'.

TaudrieTattoo Wed 03-Nov-10 20:31:31

"Ouch" is a good response to a nasty comment.

Never had the guts to try it, though.

<wimp>

LeQueen Wed 03-Nov-10 20:31:37

fealltio apologies, you weren't who I thought you were, which makes perfect sense as I didn't actually know you before I thought you were in fact someone else hmm

And if you recall your school girl physics, it's all about ratios when analysing cuppage. My FFs are attached to a teeny size 32 chest, so they look mahoosive and wonderfully out of proportion to the rest of me.

Mwah.

DawnFrench Wed 03-Nov-10 20:31:42

BigHairyLeggedWerewolf

Pasty in the bath.... whilst watching TV.

Ohhhh Heaven.

Ivor Dewneys of course!

Oh my actual god, you have mentioned Ivor Dewdnies. Now I am salivating. And it's ugly. I love those pasties!

bigchris Wed 03-Nov-10 20:32:14

Love the put down grin
I'm going to buy your book for my mum for Xmas smile

TrinityTheTwattyRhino Wed 03-Nov-10 20:32:18

COD is a legend on mn BUT she mever told me she loved me so MEH! grin

riven I love you, surely that is enough grin

sarah293 Wed 03-Nov-10 20:32:36

Message withdrawn

BigHairyLeggedWerewolf Wed 03-Nov-10 20:32:36

Reality - She so is. grin

sharbie Wed 03-Nov-10 20:32:36