To ask for your best examples of brass-neckedness to entertain us all on this dull day?

(636 Posts)
Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 11:15:09

I've got one from decades ago.

My older brother was about 18 and going out with a girl of about 16.

It was pretty short lived as she seemed to be a bit spoiled etc. and they were only teens after all.

My brother was the one who ended it but girl seemed to think Mum was behind it.

Mum wasn't but she had asked to girl to help bring in washing during the rain when she stayed over at our house one weekend as mum was in the middle of something when rain started.

This was apparently a criminal act to ask someone for a bit of help so girlfriend moaned to brother (who I think had got rather exasperated by her anyway by this point) and he ended it.

Apparently this did not go down well.

Next thing, her little sister phoned my Mum and castigated her for being the cause of all this! Little sister would have been about 14 and mum would have been about 45!

That didn't go down well either.

WallyBantersJunkBox Tue 12-Aug-14 11:27:53

My old boss - about 14 years ago.

My partner was coming back from serving in the Gulf for an extended period.

I was picking him up on a Thursday evening and booked the Friday off a good few weeks in advance. She changed her mind, she wouldn't let me have the Friday off, because she needed the day off herself.

To get Sky TV installed.

She used to call me consistently at weekends to try and get me to come into the office. Once she called my flat and my brother answered the phone and told her I was in the shower. She immediately called my mobile demanding to know why there was a man in my flat at 9am (this was before she knew anything about my partner btw).

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 11:40:28


WorraLiberty Tue 12-Aug-14 11:46:45

One of my neighbours put me down as an emergency contact number for her DS, without my knowledge. Apparently she thought it was ok because I'm a SAHM.

I ended up collecting and looking after her puking/crapping child for 4 hours, while she made her way back from work.

But not before asking me if I could have him for the whole day, because her boss is sick of her taking time off hmm

maudpringles Tue 12-Aug-14 11:53:00

Collected a table from IKEA for a friend, delivered it, and then her DH asked if we could quickly assemble it as he had sold their old one and he was late for a game of darts!

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 11:53:42


<gets out Brasso>

mumtobetothree Tue 12-Aug-14 11:53:44

I gave a friend all of my DS's outgrown clothes, rainforest bouncer etc from birth to about 9 months, as her DS is a few months younger than mine. Fast forwards to them being about 12 months old and her son was bigger was mine, she text and asked if my DS could use a certain size shoe hers had grown out of.

Later on she came round, with the shoes, and when I thanked her she held her hand out and demanded £3 for them! I think I did a pretty good imitation of a fish!

Trollsworth Tue 12-Aug-14 11:53:46

This is a silly one.

I was gathering my things in a cafe to go to a doctors appointment, and a middle aged women I'd never met approached my table.

"Stay there while I go and get my food so I don't lose my table"

No hello, no please, no 'would you mind?' ...just an order, as if I was a maid.

I replied with "um, I can't, I'm leaving now...."

And she got cross! And she snapped "well you'll just have to wait, won't you? It's not MY FAULT the queue is so long!"

And she stomped off to join the queue.

Utterly befuddled by this, I stood wracking my brains for a moment, to try and work out WHY she would think I would do what she wanted. Was I dressed like a staff member? Did I look like I could be related to her? No.

So I called, weakly, across the room,

"Er, I'm LEAVING now."

I don't know if she lost her table.

sashh Tue 12-Aug-14 11:56:18

Neighbour asked me if I had 'any plans for the evening' I said staying in and watching TV.

This translated in her head as:

'I can leave y 11 year old grandson in the house from 12pm with nothing to eat (because he is only allowed to cook when I'm there) and go out on the piss. When Sashh has got fed up of him coming over because she isn't answering the phone to him and Sashh has tried to feed him but he won't because 'gran is going to cook when she gets home' and Sash realises at 11pm he is not going to be fed, calls me, finds out I am off my head in a town centre pub talking to someone my partner can't see and she drives my grandson to pick me and my partner up I will scream at her in the car, allow my partner to call my grandson a 'grandma's boy' and tell him he will be in big trouble in the morning, I will then think I have lost my bag and scream at sashh to turn the car round on a three lane carriageway with concrete between the opposite directions and when she doesn't I will try to turn the steering wheel'

WienerDiva Tue 12-Aug-14 11:56:19

Invited my in-laws over for dinner, I couldn't be arsed to cook so paid for a Chinese. I was "told" to order a few extra dishes because "we all know how much bil can eat". So we did.

In-laws turn up 30 mins late without bil as he suddenly developed gut rot.

When pondering how to organise leftovers, SIL jumps in and says she'll take it as bil can have when they get back.

"Is that a good idea with a gippy stomach?" I dared to ask.

"Oh yeah. He probably said he had a bad stomach so he could have some down time and have a rest."

Well you can fork right off, these leftovers are mine biatch!

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 11:59:18

grin Troll!!

Too nice for your own good you are!

Here's another:

Standing in a long queue at garage to pay for petrol

Man nips in grabs something from till area (chewing gum or whatever) and says "You don't mind if I just nip in front?" In our general direction.

We did mind, as did the cashier.

He had to do the walk of shame to the end.

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 12:00:32

P.s - if he hadn't assumed we'd mind I know someone would have just let him skip ahead.

It was the brass-neckedness you see.

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 12:00:54

Assumed we'd not mind that is.

vladthedisorganised Tue 12-Aug-14 12:06:24

As a student I shared a room with another student.

On our first day she presented me with a list - I was to wake her up at 7:30 in time for breakfast, have her toothbrush ready for her in the bathroom as she 'wasn't good at mornings' and although I didn't have to, having a coffee ready for her after she came out of the shower would be nice. She would obviously shower first as she got 'really grossed out' about using the shower after everyone else (there were 16 of us sharing a shower on our corridor, so not quite sure how she worked that one out)

Once I'd finished laughing I asked how her last slave died. She was most annoyed when I didn't wake her up 'as agreed' the following morning. She was even more annoyed when I told her the going rates for a lady's maid...

Idontseeanyicegiants Tue 12-Aug-14 12:09:33

Family wedding years ago on DH's side. I was supervising my eldest, then aged about 3 while he played in the garden when we were gradually joined by the other family children, then all of the other children from the brides side - about 25 in all. After about half an hour I suddenly realised that every other parent was sat inside drinking and chatting (DH was best man so was busy organising various things) while I stood outside freezing my arse off watching all their kids. So I brought DS in for a drink and to warm up and told my BIL and others that someone needed to keep an eye on the kids still outside. (Should add DS was the youngest child there)
Cue outcry of negligence and laziness against me for daring to leave THEIR children outside in an enclosed garden in front of huge windows where their lazy arsed parents could see them perfectly well. They were genuinely angry with me shockangry
I refused to go to the next family do and made sure everyone knew why. It didn't happen again...

RedRoom Tue 12-Aug-14 12:12:22

Was at a wedding when a woman I'd never met was asked to pose for a photo. I was sitting on a chair next to her. Without speaking to me or looking at me, she pushed her glass of champagne in my hand and her handbag on my lap!

I put both of them straight back down onto the floor.

Nomama Tue 12-Aug-14 12:14:22

OK, sit down and I shall tell you a story my mother does not believe actually happened, despite the fact it happened to her.

We got married 25 years ago.

I despise SIL and her parents were just awful, horrible people. Example:
2 weeks before SIL/BIL got married we were at their house, as was the priest who was marrying them. SILs mum introduced my DH as the man her daughter should have been marrying, if only she had got to the right brother first... that is the one and only time I have felt sorry for BIL, who was stood there, gobsmacked.

Anyway, we announced we were getting married and SILs mum asked if they could have an invitation. She said she knew we were only having a small family wedding so didn't expect to come, but would like an invitation, for the scrapbook. I phoned my mum, in front of SIL, her parents, BIL, stbDH, and outlined the request, reassured her that they only wanted an invitation, they would definitely NOT be coming to the wedding.

You've guessed it... mum said they were almost the first to send an RSVP and it included a gushing thank you for thinking of them!

Lordofmyflies Tue 12-Aug-14 12:17:10

This happened to my Dd.
They were learning about the post office, how stamps work etc in school. The teacher sent a permission slip home requesting that Dd and some classmates could be walked into town, buy a stamp and post a letter that they had written. It would take about an hour.

My dd came home after this trip - I asked how it went and couldnt really understand her response about watching TV, having lunch out etc, so asked her teacher about it the next day. Turns out, the TA assigned to her group had taken them back to her house for the morning instead of the post office as she was having a new washing machine fitted and installed and Dd and her classmates spent the morning on the TAs lounge floor watching CBB's and eating biscuits!

StaircaseAtTheUniversity Tue 12-Aug-14 12:18:34

DHs cousin had her second baby about four months before I had our first. We've met abut three times in six years. When I was about 7 months pregnant she Facebook messaged me to ask if we wanted her Moses basket that her parents had brought as a gift for their second baby, and as we were family she only wanted forty quid for it!!! shock

We already had one, but even if we hadn't I would have rather paid twice that for a new one. Cheeky cow!!! She later defriended our whole side of the family on Facebook because (I later found out from her brother) "more people from the family commented that your baby was beautiful than commented that hers was when she was first born" grin Mental case!

YouTheCat Tue 12-Aug-14 12:22:06

I don't ever get any of these things happening to me. I think I have a resting face that says 'fuck off' in great big letters with an added look of 'I don't bloody think so'.

I have silenced a 3 year old having an 'I want' tantrum in Marks and Spencers, with just a look and a raised eyebrow. grin

BellMcEnd Tue 12-Aug-14 12:22:48

My ex friend asked me to babysit her 3 year old son that night so she could go out on the lash (v common event). This would involve her dropping him off at my flat and not picking him up until the following (Saturday) lunchtime. I explained that I was on nights so couldn't. She then asked for my new boyfriend's number (now DH) so she could ask him. She'd met him twice and thought it was completely acceptable to ask him to have her toddler overnight. Then, when he said he couldn't as he had an exam on the Saturday morning she got really pissed off hmmshock. One of the many reasons why she's a very ex friend!

YouTheCat Tue 12-Aug-14 12:24:38

Lord, I hope she's been sacked then! That takes the biscuit.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine Tue 12-Aug-14 12:29:59

youThecat that's hilarious

I once leant a double buggy to a friend and it was most definatly leant.

Asked her for it back 2 years later and she had
Sold it on.

cleanasawhistle Tue 12-Aug-14 12:34:55

Years ago I had to leave my then partner due to domestic violence.
I was in a bit of a state but managed to find a flat ,hire a small van and got some help to remove some stuff from the home we shared.
My new place was round the corner from my sisters house.
I asked if maybe she and her OH could meet me there and help me carry some of the heavier stuff up the stairs...she said she was busy but her OH would want paying if he came.I said forget about it because I didn't have any money left.
About a year later I got a new partner,he was a joiner.
I had only been with him a couple of weeks when my sister said bring your new boyfriend round tonight because I want a couple of shelves putting up and said her OH is too tired when he gets in from work so they won't get done.
I told her no and the reason why.
She had the cheek to be moody with me.

TigerTrumpet Tue 12-Aug-14 12:41:03

My flatmate at university refused to contribute to our fuel bills on the grounds that she didn't use electricity or feel the cold, and because I worked part time I could afford it so what was the problem. She even got her mum on the phone to argue her case for her.

When I once left a light on by accident overnight, she beamed ear to ear and told me 'this is why I don't pay for electricity'. Even though she was the only one in the house with a computer and would often blow dry her hair three times a day to 'freshen' it, this didn't use any electricity, apparently.

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 12:41:25

These are pure gold.

I particularly live Princess Student.

Brilliant grin

Yangsun Tue 12-Aug-14 12:44:45

Broke up with boyfriend who had been cheating on me. He assumed my dad and I would still b perfectly happy to do a five hour round trip to Heathrow. After all how else was he supposed to get there?

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 12:47:36


MorphineDreams Tue 12-Aug-14 12:52:30

I was in the bank recently and a woman blatantly pushed in front of me in the queue. I said 'excuse me, I was here first' to which she replied 'yes but I have more money than you therefore I'm more important'.


It took me a full ten seconds to decide what to do whilst I picked my jaw up from the floor and ended up barging in front of her whilst sticking my nose in the air and ignoring her tuts.

Greyhound Tue 12-Aug-14 12:53:04

Worked for a woman who decided to use my wages as petty cash whist we were on business trip. I was 22 and v v naive. I was also paid a pittance. She never paid me back - over 22 years later, I haven't seen a penny...

I resigned.

BoffinMum Tue 12-Aug-14 12:57:19

Last AP, before he was sacked. Aged 24.

1. Wanted �20 a week on top of the �110 I was already paying him recompense for hanging the washing out in nice weather rather than putting it into the tumble drier.
2. He borrowed our car to take his girlfriend to a firework display, and the car developed an alternator problem and wouldn't start. While he was waiting for the recovery service to come,which I had shelled out something like �160 to join as an emergency member, the police stopped to check there hadn't be an accident or anything like that. He was shocked that the police didn't organise a hot drink and a blanket for them both (they hadn't bothered to take much with them in terms of coats, cash and so on, just assuming other people would bail them out if there was a problem. She was working as a vet, so not short of cash).
3. After I had sacked him for being nasty to me every time my husband's back was turned, and for not doing any work and just sitting in his room pissng about on the internet when he was supposed to be looking after the kids, he demanded I pay for his flight home, and once I had done that (anything for an easy life) he insisted I paid for two pieces of luggage on Ryanair as well, at something like �60 each.

My god, he was a miserable grasping bugger.

Luxluna Tue 12-Aug-14 12:58:27

Next door neighbour came round one Sunday afternoon (her nickname was 'shameless') knocking on the door as per usual. My mum fobbed her off but saying I wasn't in. She came back 20 minutes later, I answered the door (as I knew she would just keep coming round until she saw me). She informed me that they had just bought a new kitten and I wanted to know if she could HAVE the following items from me,

Cat litter tray
Cat litter
Cat toys
Kitten food
Baby milk (kittens are supposed to love it)
Cat bed
Cat Collar
Full fat milk (If didn't have any baby milk)

I said NO to all requests, to which she replied that all the shops are shut.
its was around 1pm....

She was really put out that I couldn't offer her any of these items. Although I would think that my own cat would of been far more put out when she would realised that all of her belongings had been given away.

sherbetpips Tue 12-Aug-14 13:02:22

Luxluna are you the local RSPCA?

SaucyJack Tue 12-Aug-14 13:03:30

I had a friend who asked me to babysit for her on one if the rare occasions I had to myself as my (then) two DCs were at their dad's for half-term.

Turned up as arranged only to find her HUSBAND was off work and was upstairs on the computer. Apparently he didn't like being left on his own with his own son (!)

Unexpected Tue 12-Aug-14 13:03:52

I want Youthecat to be my friend! I certainly don't want to get on the wrong side of her!

primarynoodle Tue 12-Aug-14 13:05:22

when I was an aupair..... got left with the 3 kids (under 10) alone for two weeks while parents went away - INCLUDING ONE WEEK OF HALF TERM!!! - and they left me £20 for food and petrol etc.... then asked me to provide reciepts. Two kids still in nappies!!!!!! angry

but to top it all off when they returned we were out, so they fucked off to the pub and left me a list of jobs to do like "clean the slats of the blinds in our bedroom"

I think there was literally steam coming out of my ears.

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 13:06:06

I was in the bank recently and a woman blatantly pushed in front of me in the queue. I said 'excuse me, I was here first' to which she replied 'yes but I have more money than you therefore I'm more important'


That's the winner so far!!

creampie Tue 12-Aug-14 13:07:20

2 Christmases ago I hosted a big family get together at ours, lasting several days. On Boxing Day I suggested we go out for a meal so I could have a bit of time off cooking for everyone on top of looking after our 2 month old.

When the bill arrived, my "that's £20 each, then" was met with stony silence and raised eyebrows.

Apparently, since I was the person who wanted a bit of time off from being everyone's skivvy, I should have picked up the tab! Needless to say, I haven't offered to host anything since....

scarletoconnor Tue 12-Aug-14 13:07:21

my pil who turned up for a 'visit' 2 weekends ago along with their duvet and pillows telling us they had decided it would be best if they stayed as they don't like driving in the night.

They arrived at 10am and live an hour away angry shock grin

YouTheCat Tue 12-Aug-14 13:17:43

Unexpected, I'm not scary, honest. I just look scary unless I make the effort to smile.

I'm really quiet in RL.

Lala5 Tue 12-Aug-14 13:29:01

A friend asked to borrow my blow-up bed for a festival. I said sure no problem, just come over and pick it up when you want.

She says 'I can't drive at the moment, can you possibly drop it off?'. She lives half an hour's drive from me but I was going to town anyway so I said no problem and dropped it off.

Two months later I'm getting ready to go to a festival and realise she still has blow-up bed. I text her to ask for it back.

She says 'sure, but you'll need to come and get it on Saturday morning and it will need to be before 8am as I'm working nights and going to bed after that'.


So I get in car on a Saturday morning at 7am, drive over to pick it up. She answers door in pyjamas and hands it over with no apology for keeping it so long or making me come and get it.

I get home unroll it - it's wet and mouldy. She never bloody dried it or cleaned after it got wet at the festival in the rain.

Groovester Tue 12-Aug-14 13:30:35

Brilliant thread!

How funny this thread should come up!

I have just been queuing in the post office, only 2 windows open, quite a long que
This woman comes along, I'm the next to be served and there are about 7-8 people behind me.
Instead of joining the back of the que, she goes to the window from the other end iykwim, and therefore doesn't que at all
Well I was angry and marched up to the woman and pointed out that there was infact a que that we had all been waiting in for the past 10 minutes and she had pushed in
"Don't worry darlink hmm she says! I just have a question to ask! I'm not buying anything
The cashier was shock and also informed her of the que! but woman chose to ignore her and carried on with her questions anyway
Brass neck doesn't even begin to describe it!!

Flangeshrub Tue 12-Aug-14 13:32:49

I had a little one yesterday.

I was in the station at a sandwich concession stand with my two whingy DDs. I was clearly first in the queue with a pile of bottles of water, pre packed sandwiches etc. My 3 year old was having a meltdown (can I say that, can't remember) and 99% of the population just look with compassion and would never queue jump as they know your pain.

Anyhow a horrible imperious middle aged woman appears and from behind me shouts, "one coffee to go, now!" And hands the money over my shoulder to the cashier. For a moment the cashier hesitates and then decides to serve this woman first sad

However! Said cashier then decides to give woman her comeuppance by, after taking imperious woman's money, serving me slowly (I had then realised I needed some croissants and had no change so had to use my card smile and after my transaction was finished she sauntered over to the coffee machine and asked if she wanted milk. The woman looked furious.

Silly bitch and thanks to the sales assistant who made my day.

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 13:33:10

Lala - that's so rude of your friend.

These are all priceless.

Keep 'em coming!

Lala5 Tue 12-Aug-14 13:39:47

One more from me - we were getting married and my family were paying for the whole thing, including amazing weekend full use of a beautiful country house.

We decided that we would have a party the night before the wedding in the house for the bridal party, as a thank you to everyone for coming and to introduce everyone before the big day. I said we would be providing the food and drink, and we'd already made lists of lovely food to make for our guests.

MIL-to-be phones me three days before the wedding to ask what we'd be serving at the party, because she wanted to know now whether she needed to send out for a fish supper for her DH if he didn't like the food.

vladthedisorganised Tue 12-Aug-14 13:41:51

Ooh Lux you reminded me of my ex-neighbor..

We'd not long moved in to a new area and knew nobody at all. DD was a couple of weeks old and I was seriously sleep deprived. There was a knock at the door - one of our neighbours had come round, I assume to say hello as it's the sort of thing I'd do for a new neighbour.

After elbowing her way into the house she demanded a tenner for her daughter's school trip - no awkwardness, just a "my daughter's got her school trip tomorrow and needs spending money. They're just going up the road so she'll only need a tenner, that's all right isn't it? I might pay you back if I feel like it!"

Once I'd picked my jaw up off the floor (and suggested that DD might have a rare condition that caused her to projectile vomit over anyone wearing perfume) I noticed where she lived.. they had a much bigger house than us and a boat. A boat! Not only that, but the school in question had a cash machine next to it..

Not someone I missed when we moved out!

feelingmellow Tue 12-Aug-14 13:45:34

My friend had to take her young daughter to an orthodontist. I said I would drive her as it was going to take her 2 buses to get there . I sat and waited in the car park for about an hour (more fool me) and when they returned my friend was chortling that she had been able to claim the return bus fares from the clinic. She didn't offer them to me and I was too -stupid- polite to say anything - I just drove them both home.

chicaguapa Tue 12-Aug-14 13:47:58

Someone I know left her (very nice) DH when their DC were 4 and 1. Then she met someone else, married him and had two more DC. She asked her exH if she could change his DC's names to that of her new DH so they could all have the same surname. shock

eatscakefornoreasonwhatsoever Tue 12-Aug-14 13:48:48

Other than my sil who said she wasn't coming to our wedding because she had a party to go to (this with 3 weeks notice) yet decided two days beforehand that she and her boyfriend would grace us with their presence after all and age could just eat her granny's meal because Granny didn't eat much and would be fine with a sandwich. .. I haven't much to contribute. I do love reading other people's stories though

Luxluna Tue 12-Aug-14 13:49:29

Sherbitpips I think I was the only left on the row of houses that would open the door to her.
There was a incident when we wouldn't answer the door to her (me and my mum again, who was visiting) we had switched the telly off and sat in silence, hoping she would go. My mum poked her head around the living room door to check if she had gone, only to find the bloody neighbour crouched down looking through the letterbox..shock

ladyfordington Tue 12-Aug-14 13:50:47

Last summer, I came home one morning to find my retired next door neighbours sat in my garden, on my patio furniture, with morning papers and cups of coffee....

When I went out and asked what was going on, the wife just replied quite happily that they didn't think we'd mind, and that actually, they'd been sitting out there most mornings after I'd left the house for their morning coffee because our garden gets more sunlight than theirs and the patio looks so nice since DH finished it.......

I was utterly gobsmacked and (stupidly) didn't even challenge them, although DH put them straight when he came home!

7Days Tue 12-Aug-14 13:51:36

I love this thread

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 13:55:18

ladyfordington - whaaaaat???


OnIlkelyMoorBahtat Tue 12-Aug-14 13:56:13

God the neck of these people! One that I thought of immediately when I saw this thread was a poster on here who was single,and one evening her her cousin rang her and said to her "how would you like to spend Friday evening with a gorgeous young man"; the poster thought her cousin had set up a blind date for her but when she got to her cousin's house to meet the 'date', it turned out that her cousin had in fact "arranged" for the poster to babysit her small son while she (the cousin) went out on the lash with a mate!

MorphineDreams Tue 12-Aug-14 13:56:13

Went out for a chinese meal with friends and their 10 month old baby. It was a horrible meal actually (and wrong drinks, filthy high chair, bad service) and we already felt resentful of paying, but as we went to settle the bill we noticed a discrepancy. They decided to charge us £2 because the baby had had a bit of a prawn cracker from her mum's plate. I wouldn't had been bothered if they'd said beforehand, but £2 for a prawn cracker nibble?

I actually complained about the whole thing and the manager tried to say it was because they were busy - they weren't - then offered a measly 10% off at that specific restaurant. No ta.

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 13:56:24

And grin at Lexlunas mum getting caught out by letter-box-peering neighbour!!

Blimey, these make my story look very small beer. My youngest (half) sister decided to go out for a birthday meal. Group of about 12 of us. We all enjoy the meal and when the bill comes my Dad says he'll pay for drinks. Nice of him as the party includes his ex-wife (my sister's Mum) her new husband and each of us daughters has a boyfriend there.

When we tot up the money everyone's put in for the bill, we come up way short. Very strange. We go round everyone, and it turns out my ex-Stepmother/littlest sister's Mum and her new husband have totted up what they ordered TO THE PENNY and only put that in, instead of dividing the bill per head like the rest of us. Even though my Dad is covering the drinks bill and they both had plenty! NB ex-stepmother's new husband is loaded and it's his now stepdaughter's birthday - how tight?

We go round again, and my sister admits that not only are we all subbing her (fine), her boyfriend 'has come out without any cash' so he wanted paying for as well - without even mentioning it, let alone asking nicely!

Last time I went out with them without checking how the bill was being split in advance...

MorphineDreams Tue 12-Aug-14 13:58:07

Oh and my friend, well outside of his house is a bus stop where a lot of people stand and wait for the bus, people looking in can see the TV.

He once got a knock on the door, it was one of the people waiting for the bus asking if he could turn the channel back over - he'd wanted to watch the end of Diagnosis Murder.

AbbieHoffmansAfro Tue 12-Aug-14 14:04:51

An ex of mine had neighbours who complained when he parked his car on the road immediately outside his house. Apparently that was their spot (they lived opposite and about 2 doors up) and he should have parked on his drive and left the space on the road for them (they also had a drive, but too many cars). They tried this argument several times over the months after he moved in before giving up. All I can say is, they were brave as well as stupid. He was not one of those people who shied away from confrontation!

My SIL completely lost her rag with DH after he refused to travel across London 2 weeks before my due date and the day before the builders left and we were to move back into our house, so he could help her pack up her one room's worth of stuff and get it into storage before she went away. We didn't have a car. He was supposed to take two trains to get to her and hire a van to get her stuff to a storage place. Hiring a man with a van herself was too big an ask, apparently.

She knew our circumstances (builders were late finishing, we were in a panic, I could hardly move, baby could have come any time) but she still left it until the absolute last minute to start packing and rang DH with a day's notice demanding he help her out because there was too much to do. And while she was ringing him screaming down the phone about being abandoned she was posting happy little updates on Facebook (I do mean literally ^at the same time^) telling her umpteen FB friends how excited she was about her trip.

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 14:04:52


Diagnosis Murder!

CheeseToastie123 Tue 12-Aug-14 14:06:40

Someone I know left her (very nice) DH when their DC were 4 and 1. Then she met someone else, married him and had two more DC. She asked her exH if she could change his DC's names to that of her new DH so they could all have the same surname.


He once got a knock on the door, it was one of the people waiting for the bus asking if he could turn the channel back over - he'd wanted to watch the end of Diagnosis Murder.

Did he? I would have, this one I actually really like.

WobblyHalo Tue 12-Aug-14 14:07:07

I want to know what SaucyJack did? Did you stay and babysit or leave the DH to it? shock

MorphineDreams Tue 12-Aug-14 14:07:22

He did haha, ever the good host.

ladyfordington Tue 12-Aug-14 14:08:13

Salmotrutta - They genuinely couldn't see anything wrong with letting themselves into our garden...when DH spoke to them about it later, they said they only sat there when we were out, so what was the problem?

Generally speaking they are nice people but they have massive boundary issues! Another time DH found the husband in our garage cutting wood with a circular saw - because his wife wouldn't let him do in the house as it was too messy so he saw our garage open and went in....

AbbieHoffmansAfro Tue 12-Aug-14 14:10:15

Oh, and there was the girl who gatecrashed my 16th birthday meal with school friends at a local restaurant. She wasn't invited because we didn't get on-mainly due to her insane competitiveness over everything from school grades to boyfriends.

She ate and drank her fill because I was too nice to kick her off our table, then refused to pay any more than a token amount towards the bill. My friends stumped up because they didn't want me to have to pay for her. We mocked, she smirked. It was all very odd and quiet nasty.

All these years later, she wants to be added to my LinkedIn network! Er, no.

NellyNoodle1 Tue 12-Aug-14 14:14:23

I suppose this happens a lot but I remember once driving round collecting people to go to a meal we had arranged at an Indian restaurant in the next town. My drinks and meals came to under £10 - the rest of them were ordering drinks like you wouldn't believe - bottles of wine, spirits and when the bill came the organiser said 'that's £25 each then'. I'm normally such a coward but I just couldn't take this - I normally don't mind splitting the bill as normally everyone has had roughly the same and I usually end up paying a bit more as I don't eat three courses or anything but I put my foot down this time and said I would be paying for what I had had plus a tip. No one had even bought me a drink for driving!

Have reported the thread for classics grin

As a 19 year old au pair I was hired for a 30 hr a week position with 2 lovely little DCs. Turned out it was actually 60+ houses a week and I was to wake up at 5:45 to make the parents breakfast. The baby, who's bedroom adjoined the parents on the level above my bedroom, woke one night at around 3am. The mother brought the baby to me and asked if I'd heard shed woken up and why hadn't I gone in. She was breastfed.

Just had a text from my landlord telling, not asking me, that he will be showing someone round at 5 today (whilst I'm still at work). I've told him he'll have to wait. <I'm assertive and confrontational >

Tanith Tue 12-Aug-14 14:19:58

Only this morning, got a knock on my door.

Three kids we know slightly who've with my much younger DD because they're bored and there's nothing else to do - well, actually, they come to play with the toys.

I explained they couldn't come in: I'm working and I'm up to my ratio limit.

"But you're a childminder!" they said as they barged past.
DH eventually got them out, arguing all the way.

"Why can't you

DramaAlpaca Tue 12-Aug-14 14:20:41

It's not a patch on some of the shock stories on here, but this one still annoys me.

I sent my children's outgrown Playmobil to my SIL, who lives abroad, at her request. She told me her children would love it, and she'd happily take it off my hands. There was lots of it, in perfect condition, and it cost me a fair bit to send. I didn't mind at the time because I knew my little nephews would really enjoy playing with it.

Two weeks later I spotted that she'd advertised it for sale on Facebook.

Cheeky mare.

We sold our car to BIL on an interest free loan when he was desperate for a car and couldn't get a loan elsewhere. About the same time, as we were moving abroad, I loaned my little car to a friend who'd moved to the UK. He had the cheek to have a go at us for making him, FAMILY, pay for a 10k car, while we GAVE to my FRIEND a 4k car. He figured he should only pay half of the car value to us. I did explain to him that actually FRIEND was my xSIL that I had known for 15yrs at that point, and consider her family also, who had just left an abusive marriage with no home, no furniture, no job, no recourse to benefits and 2 teenage DC. The prick.

About a year later, the car was "stolen" and burnt out by the "thieves". He and SIL then had a wedding renewal for their 10th anniversary, we suspect using the insurance payout. He had form for having cars "stolen" and being burnt out. He still owes us 5k for the car 6yrs later.

Dubjackeen Tue 12-Aug-14 14:26:12

Haha, loving these. Can't think of any really good ones.
I was in a cafe one day, and after ordering, got up from my table to get a newspaper from the stand near the counter. A woman at another table barked 'salt' at me, indicating the salt cellar at the table beside her. I looked at her blankly, and sat down with the paper, whereupon she proved well able to hop up and get the salt for herself. She was, at all times, nearer to the salt than I was.
I was sitting in a cafe recently, and observed a group arriving in. There was a queue of about ten people. One of the group who had just arrived walked to the cash register, so plonking herself at the top of the queue, and started shouting back to the rest, to ask what they wanted. She actually seemed oblivious to the ten people already queuing, but one of them pointed her to the end of the queue.

fairnotfair Tue 12-Aug-14 14:27:08

Many years ago, I was working in the Midlands as a graduate trainee stockbroker. Four of us were sent down to London for a few days for professional training exam cramming. We were put up in a dodgy hotel, but we were allowed to go out to restaurants for supper and claim back the cost (to a strict and not-very-high limit) when we returned to the office.

One evening, one of our colleagues said that we'd be meeting a good friend of his for supper in Covent Garden. Fine, we thought; very nice. So we pitched up at the restaurant, and there he was, with three of his own colleagues. We got a table for eight.

They were extremely unfriendly and didn't even try to make anything approaching conversation. Discouraged, we talked amongst ourselves at the other end of the table, and ordered the cheapest pasta dishes, because of the daily limit we had to stick to.

Colleague's friend and his pals all ordered lobsters. Lobsters. We were quite shock because (in the brief conversations that they had bothered to bestow on us) they'd been moaning about how incredibly badly paid they were.

When the bill came, it became clear that they were expecting us to pay for their meals...

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 14:31:24

Oooh *Peachy I've never had a thread in classics!!

<prays to MN gods>

WilburIsSomePig Tue 12-Aug-14 14:34:28

This was over 20 years ago. My (ex) friend called me at work and asked me to pick her children up from school. She sounded so worried so I immediately left work citing an emergency and picked them up and took them home with me. I found her house keys and a note through my door to tell me that she'd gone away for the weekend with her new boyfriend. Oh and could I feed and walk the dog too? No one ever believes me when I tell them this. grin

flippinada Tue 12-Aug-14 14:36:33

Enjoying this thread - must try and think of my own example of brass necked-ness to share. Nothing comes to mind at the moment. Keep up the good work though, very cheering on a grotty day smile.

flippinada Tue 12-Aug-14 14:37:18

Wilbur I think you win!

What happened when she came back?

Thumbwitch Tue 12-Aug-14 14:38:18

There was a poster on here, can't remember who, whose neighbour used to come in and use their swimming pool without asking, possibly even swimming without a full complement of swimwear, I can't remember. She was asked to cease and desist, but continued to do it when she thought they were out - I don't know how that one turned out in the end though!

I don't have any excellent examples, but my brother's now-exGF told us that she might come to our wedding, she'd come down with him so she could go shopping and then make her mind up on the day. She seemed to think this was ok. She was told otherwise in no uncertain terms (and thankfully chose not to come at all) - but what really shook me was the my Mum tried to intervene on her behalf over this! No way was I paying for a meal for this "might bother my arse" woman!

unlucky83 Tue 12-Aug-14 14:38:30

I hadn't lived in my house very long and my NDN -woman in her 60s - had never spoken to me/acknowledged I existed before.
I knew another neighbour before we moved there and and they'd mentioned that she had serious health problems and she was an alcoholic.
I was in the garden with DD1 (18 months) when NDN climbed on something to talk to me over the fence. She asked me a few questions - random really, felt a bit odd - she wasn't really interested in how I replied. Then she asked me if I drove to work - so I had a car? She asked me if I could drive to the local shop to get her some beers for her. Apparently she'd asked her daughter and they'd refused to go for her and she couldn't drive or walk that far. I didn't want to go for her - even if I didn't know about her 'problem' she lived with her DH - he was out but he drove. Also didn't want to end up running errands for her all the time...
I made the excuse DD1 and I were going out - and in fact did. She never spoke to me again ...

Username12345 Tue 12-Aug-14 14:38:49

Love threadds like these.

The brass neckedness of some. Wow. grin

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 14:38:55

Some of these are bloody outrageous.

I'd struggle to move past my feelings of utter rage if they happened to me tbh.

And others are hilarious grin

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 14:41:00

I remember the swimming pool one!

motherofanearlyfouryearold Tue 12-Aug-14 14:41:23

Seven years ago DP and I were planning our wedding. I have a small family about 25 both sides. DP's family is huge 50 on his mothers side at least and his parents are divorced and remarried. So a small wedding was getting out of hand.
One evening DP and I are disscussing the plans with his dad, DP says you can see how weddings get out of hand. So his dad asks to see the guest list, gets a pen out and spends about 20 mins tinkering with the list.
When he gives it back he has scribbled out all the names he doesn't recognise and added about 15 names.
I ask why the names have been scribbled out and he says I don't know them they shouldn't be invited so I exclaimed they were my grandparents, aunts, cousins. To which he said they didn't need to be there. The 15 additions were members of his wifes family who DP norI had meant before or since.
Going home to parents to explain this. My mum phonedfil to say that her and my dad were paying and Iif they wanted to Iinvite people were they going to contribute to the cost. He got shirty at this point and told my mum that they had no Iintention of contributing to the wedding just wanted to make sure there were no rough/common people going to his sons wedding who might cause trouble.
So he believes that me and mine are rough and common!!!! Needlesd to say that we didn't get married ( due to that and other reasons) we postponed indefinitly.

Oh and how many people were invited to his wedding just their friends. None of their children or families!

cleanasawhistle Tue 12-Aug-14 14:43:28

Last year my sons 11 year old friend knocked on the door and said my mam said I have to come here for an hour while she walks the dog.
I said I am sorry but DS is staying at a friends house....the child said its ok I know how to use his Xbox and tried to walk past me.
I said no you can't come in if DS isn't here.

Another one ....

About 5 years ago I took my young DS to an event in the library.
There was a three seater sofa and I sat at one end.
Two ladies came and sat next to me.
Two girls aged about 8/9 came up to me and one of them said excuse me but we want to sit with our mams so can you move please...her mother turned and smiled at me...I said NO.
I got tutted at by the kids and the mothers so I sat there much longer than I had intended too.

Nellymay Tue 12-Aug-14 14:45:10

Great thread!! This one isn't about me but my mum and dad then in their 70's. My mum used to run a sort of free furniture service : people gave her their old furniture and children's toys and clothes and my mum stored them in a garage the council had let her have, she would then redistribute the stuff to single mums and anyone who couldn't afford to buy stuff.
I went to see them one day to find that my mum and dad (in their 70s) had carried a settee between them on their shoulders to this a family up the road who said they couldn't afford to buy one and they couldn't carry it themselves so could my mum and dad deliver it to them. When they got to the recipients house both puffing and panting with the effort they're all sitting watching TV on a v large TV and didn't even offer to help carry it in nor did they give a donation which my mum gave to womens aid. Then the had the cheek to ask if there were any TV stands going. I was livid with them for even offering to deliver at their age ! smile

RedPony Tue 12-Aug-14 14:45:23

Some of these stories are shocking!

RedRoom Tue 12-Aug-14 14:47:05

When I was at university, a guy I was dating made me a chicken curry for valentine's day. After the meal, he asked if I could contribute half the cost of the chicken (£2) but told me not to worry about the rest as it was a treat.

NeverFinishWhatYouStarted Tue 12-Aug-14 14:47:20

Loaned friend my 2-year-old car for 6 months after her jalopy seized. Didn't ask for a penny. She knew I was going to be selling it when she got sorted out.

She crashed the car. Drivable, but £££ of cosmetic damage done. Rang me a couple of weeks later. She was taking delivery of a brand new motor the next week so I could have my car back. "Oh, did you get my car fixed then?" "Well, no. I thought you'd want to do that yourself."

Can't remember exactly what I said, but the car was fixed before it came back to me.

WilburIsSomePig Tue 12-Aug-14 14:52:10

Flippin she brought me back a box of chocolates and couldn't understand why I was a bit miffed! I was single with no kids at the time.

flippinada Tue 12-Aug-14 14:55:01

A box of chocolates!!!! Bloody hell, what a piece of work. Her poor kids too.

WilburIsSomePig Tue 12-Aug-14 14:57:30

They were really lovely kids too, it wasnt fair on them.

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 15:00:48

Another one from years ago.

In my pre-teaching days I had another career and my immediate line manager had various expensive resources and technical equipment that other departments used to nick borrow.

One day, I was using one of the pieces of equipment and a twat person from another dept came in expecting to use it, got antsy demanding to know when I would be finished etc.

I did two things:

I left them in no doubt as to who the equipment belonged to I.e. not them and I told them it needed servicing so would be out of commission for a while.
The last bit was a lie.

Come on, Mexican House thief anyone??

Can't remember who the poster was, the twat next door to her had been having holidays at her holiday home *without her knowing*shock, he was a prize knob!

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 15:04:32

I don't know that one!!??


Leela5 Tue 12-Aug-14 15:07:50

Sent out invitations to my not-very-large-wedding. Had call from no less than three friends who were invited, asking could they bring a plus one.

Surprised as I'd no idea they were seeing someone I said 'Who did you want to bring?'

Response from all three 'I don't know yet, but I'll ask a few people and see who's free'.

ribbityribbit Tue 12-Aug-14 15:09:06

I was doing some volunteering abroad and living in a shared house with other volunteers. We each had a box for our food in the kitchen. A new volunteer asked to borrow something food related (along the lines of a slice of bread) and I pointed at my box and told him to help himself.

Came back a couple of hours later to find he had used pretty much everything I had, including a whole bag of limes (about 12 in total) that he had made into one very large and very sour glass of limeade. It was as if he had deliberately looked for a way to used up all of my stuff.

I'm crap at linking but here goes

mexican house thief story here
posted by WeAreEternal Sat 20-Apr-13 14:52:07

hoboken Tue 12-Aug-14 15:11:06

Friend embarked on an evening drama course in London and supported himself with full time daytime work. By the time he came to his second year he could not afford the fees and said he was going to give up. He did not ask for help but I lent him the money - £1500. I was glad to do so and know him to be very talented.

He has completed the course and started a successful drama company. I know now I will never see a penny. I wouldn't mind if he paid me back at £10 a month but not even that has been offered.

More fool me. I won't do that again.

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 15:14:01

Thanks StayClassy - will check it out!

Salmo you'll love it! grin

RobinHumphries Tue 12-Aug-14 15:16:02

Mexican holiday home is definitely my favourite

Tanith Tue 12-Aug-14 15:18:34

The Mexican House thief victim was WeAreEternal - I think she made Classics with her outrageously entitled neighbour!

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 15:18:56

Have just read Mexican House story shockshockshock

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 15:21:13

I'm sorry but I'd have got the Mexican House thief done for something !!

Horribly brass-necked!!

SnapeAndLily Tue 12-Aug-14 15:22:06

Mexican house thief was one of my all time favourite threads grin

This is one that didn't happen to me, but a colleague.

She is a teacher. When moving on to a new job in teaching, you obviously leave the classroom nice and tidy and so on, but that's it. The replacement teacher was a friend of the daughter of the Headteacher, and he expected friend to back all the displays, label all the books, trays etc. My friend didn't do it (she had her own classroom in his new school to contend with) and the Head went ape when he found out.

cailindana Tue 12-Aug-14 15:24:57

My older sister is made entirely of brass. When we both lived in the same city she used to insist I drive her to the supermarket whereupon she would dawdle around looking at every single item on the shelf. She absolutely would not speed up no matter how tired I was or how much of a rush I was in. Then on the way home she would demand money from me, despite the fact that she earned a good deal more than I did and I was saving for a wedding.

When she lived at home with my younger sister (who was a penniless student) she would also demand money from her.

When I was getting married she was my bridesmaid, along with my younger sister. They are very different sizes so I wanted them to have different dresses but older sister kicked up such a fuss that I and younger sister just had to go with what she wanted in the end - I basically got no say in what my bms wore. She didn't buy me a wedding present because she reckoned I owed her for her being my bridesmaid (despite the fact that I paid for her dress, shoes and jewellery).

When we were growing up she frequently borrowed things and broke/damaged them. I once as a teenager had a lovely cream coat that I had paid a lot for. She harrangued me daily wanting to borrow it but I kept saying no as I knew she would destroy it. Eventually my mother forced me to lend it to her. Lo and behold it came back absolutely filthy, so filthy I had to throw it away. When I got upset about it, there was no "sorry" or no offer to replace it, and my mother said "Oh it was an accident." To this day buying and owning nice things stresses me out - all through my childhood it would be guaranteed that sister would find some way of destroying them.

Younger sister is 8 years younger than she is and she tortured and bullied her daily. Younger sister is now in counselling trying to overcome the effects of it.

I moved out of home before both of my sisters. At the time older sister (OS) and younger sister (YS) shared the big room while I was in the tiny box room. When I moved out YS naturally moved into my room, there was no question of it and my parents certainly wouldn't have countenanced me insisting on keeping the room empty for when I visited home. However, when OS moved out she insisted that YS stay in the tiny box room and the big room be kept empty for when OS visited. And my parents went along with it! So the big spacious bedroom was empty most of the time while poor YS squashed into the tiny room.

There are tonnes more examples, absolutely tonnes. Suffice it to say that OS is now jobless and living at home with my parents. Apparently from what I hear the house is a den of total misery. When OS was working she paid an absolute pittance in rent to my parents and nothing at all towards bills/upkeep of the house. If she buys any food she expect my parents to reimburse her for it. She doesn't talk to my father at all. Ever. My mother frequently bursts into tears when talking about how things are in the house. I have absolutely no sympathy, my parents have made their bed and now they can lie in it. Neither I nor my YS talk to her. If I never saw her again it wouldn't bother me.

unlucky83 Tue 12-Aug-14 15:26:20

This annoyed me so much - one reason I don't use freecycle much anymore.
I offered some glasses and to drop them off in the local town - (I do this because I live out of the way but go into the town relatively often). I arranged to drop them off - it was at a block of flats with an intercom entrance. They buzzed me in and said come up. I was a bit hmm but thought they might be elderly etc - so carried the box of glasses and 1 yo DD2 (in a sling) up 4 flights of stairs. I had to knock on the door and wait when I got up there. The guy was in his 20s and seemed sprightly enough (guess could have had a hidden disability -but there was no lift in the flats- so I doubt it) no hello etc - took the box off me and said 'cheers', closed door.
I also got stuck with taking another child to an activity every week. Mother asked me if I could take her DC with mine as she was working - so I agreed. Not realising she meant every week, there and back for 4 months. And worse when I went to pick up or drop off often the mother and her car were there as were other family members... who drove and had their cars parked outside. Never offered once to take my DC for me...
Same parent tried to drop off her infant school DC with her preschool younger sibling to another activity 'family end of term party' - left them in the car park shock - organisers had to run after her car to say they couldn't take responsibility for the younger DC ...

BreakingDad77 Tue 12-Aug-14 15:26:20

One of DW's friends we shall call "C" expecting us to drive for three hours back and fourth to bring them to our wedding the day before. When C's brother and wife are coming and could get a lift with them, or they could have driven themselves!

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 15:27:12

Lily - Who did the Head go ape at?

Your friend?

Or the entitled friend of his daughter?

I'm hoping at the entitled friend of daughter... grin

Thumbwitch Tue 12-Aug-14 15:27:50

Gawd Cailin, that's a sorry tale! your parents are indeed reaping what they have sown. sad

hiccupgirl Tue 12-Aug-14 15:30:28

We came home from a holiday where PIL's had very kindly stayed to feed our cat to find them sat with the TV off. Thought nothing of it until DH went to put it on. Was informed by FIL that it he'd pressed a button too hard and it had stopped working so we'd need to go and buy a new one right away as they hadn't been able to watch the TV for the last 3 days.

A 'friend' at uni who stopped when driving past me walking and offered me a lift to keep her company and them demanded £5 towards the petrol when we got to the university 2 miles away.

The same 'friend' who went shopping and bought lots of cleaning things for the flat and then demanded money towards them. I wouldn't have minded either things if she'd asked me first.

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 15:31:10

caillin - I hope you are happier for keeping OS out of your life. She sounds awful sad

Ivedunnit Tue 12-Aug-14 15:31:20

Not me a colleague. We live in a country where you have to pay for a GP visit. Although through work we get a % back.
He was approached by his daughters boyfriend, who had paid for her visit to the GP to get the contraceptive pill to ask if he could claim the % back and give it to him.

Ivedunnit Tue 12-Aug-14 15:34:31

Also was using the microwave in work and set it to 2 minutes, walked away to get cutlery. When I returned some random guy had actually stopped the microwave and removed my food. When I queried it he said that there had been no one at the microwave when he arrived ( although my foot was and it was on! )
I stopped the microwave and removed his food and reinstated my lunch!!

Piffpaffpoff Tue 12-Aug-14 15:34:48

Was a small thing but really wound me up - a manager in my office, who was probably on 3-4 times my paltry salary, used to 'borrow' my Q or Empire magazines and would go and photocopy (on the office photocopier!!) the articles he wanted to read.

cookiemonster100 Tue 12-Aug-14 15:40:59

I remember the Mexican house thread. Awesome.

At my first house, parking was in behind the property where our garage was. There was a row of 6 garages and could easily fit one parked car in front of it. It was parking permit in the front on the road.
NDN shacked up with new bf. He seemed to think it was ok to park in our space when we were not there. He didn't have the sense to move it before we came home, waited for us to pull in, see he has parked there, & go and find him to move his car. This happened several times. Final straw came when DH came home from nights to find the knob parked there. So he blocked him in & went to bed. NDN bf spent the next hour banging on the door trying to get hold of DH to let him out. DH ignored him.

Later that afternoon DH goes & finds him & tells him to move his car. The bf was a builder & was trying to get DH to pay for his wage he lost that day. I clearly remember my husband saying worlds along the lines of "go " & "swivel"

CinnabarRed Tue 12-Aug-14 15:45:43

What makes people like this, do you think?

cailindana Tue 12-Aug-14 15:46:44

Yes and no salmotrutta. I really believed that as she got older she would become more reasonable and we could at least have a friendly relationship. Even after years of bullying I was willing to try to be on good terms with her as we are sisters. But when I was pregnant with DS and she didn't congratulate me or ask me how I was, she just sent a text berating me for asking my parents to stay in a hotel when they were due to visit after DS was born, I knew there was no hope. She still behaves like a mardy 12 year old. As she gets older it gets more obvious how little she is able to manage life and my parents have totally let her down by never helping her to sort out her behaviour. I do feel really sorry for her in a way but I cannot get involved with her any more. When I feel guilty I just remind myself of my younger sister who suffered a great deal more at her hands (as they shared a room and she is much younger so was more of a target.) OS might have problems but that doesn't excuse the way she tortured (and that's not too strong a word) my YS who is now, as an adult, struggling to come to terms with the effect it's had on her. YS genuinely hates her. My mother is all "why don't you and YS come home for visits?" as if there couldn't possibly be any reason why we avoid them. Denial is my family's motto. Luckily YS and I are very close and we support each other.

CinnabarRed Tue 12-Aug-14 15:50:53

And why is she like that, cailindana?

Given that you and YS are (presumably! grin) not over-entitled, it can't be just down to parenting.

Roussette Tue 12-Aug-14 15:53:18

caillin, oh my goodness your OS sounds dreadful.

Mine was a few years ago. DD was about 11 or 12. She was friendly with a girl (let's call her Susy) where we lived and Susy's mother was always fobbing Susy off onto me but as the 2 girls got on, were no trouble, I didn't make too much of a fuss. Susy used to come to my house all the time, I used to feed her tea if her Mum was late getting her and I was waiting for the day that my DD went to Susy's house but DD told me that Susy's Mum didn't like kids round because Susy said "they made a mess and they had cream carpets".

Anyway, fast forward a year or two of continual Susy visits/meals/play. One day I was due home and my car broke down which meant that my DD wouldn't be able to get in the house when she got off the school bus as she didn't have a key. So DD had to go to Susy's house till I could get home. It was raining. So Susy's Mum made her wait in the shed. I kid you not. When I get there DD was waiting for me in the shed whilst Susy was inside probably having tea. You couldn't make it up could you...

SnapeAndLily Tue 12-Aug-14 15:58:30

salmotrutta - it was at me grin Not directed at me, of course, but friend had already left and he was livid that she hadn't done the backing. It was Head's request that backing be done for Precious New Teacher. Always did feel a bit sorry for that teacher as the staff were already hmm before she arrived, and that was down to the Head, not her.

NapoleonsNose Tue 12-Aug-14 16:00:09

PIL live in a lovely country cottage in a nice village. They go on holiday twice a year and are happy to let FIL's own DB and wife stay there while they are away. MIL leaves food for them and lets them use whatever they want to while they on holiday. However, every time they are there something is broken without fail. When the washing machine apparently broke they called an emergency repair man out to look at it. Turned out it wasn't actually broken but had been overloaded so wouldn't spin. Rang DH's DB and TOLD him he needed to pay the emergency call out charge as they couldn't afford it. They had basically been given a free holiday with food provided FGS!

Another time, we had a phonecall at 11.30pm on a Saturday night. We were out and my mum was babysitting. Naturally concerned, she answered the phone to listen to FIL's in-laws saying that they had broken the TV. DM told them to ring back in the morning as a) it was late and b) we were out. Needless to say they rang 7.30am!! They expected us to go out immediately and fix the TV, or if we couldn't, to get a repair man in to do it, which no doubt, they were expecting us to pay for. DH gave them very short shrift on the phone. We did go out much later and fixed turning it on via the remote!

Username12345 Tue 12-Aug-14 16:02:35

Roussette shock

I hope you didn't do anymore free childcare for her.
Who in their right mind sticks a child in the shed angry

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 12-Aug-14 16:08:06

Mexican House Stealer has made my day!

CeliaFate Tue 12-Aug-14 16:09:25

My old ndn and I had just met that day over the fence.

Her dd said she wanted to see our garden so her mum said ok (not asking me first).
Girl comes over, with Mum and a baby about 18 months old. They look around, then the Mum says she's going. Girl says she wants to stay.
Mum says "Ok, be good" then LEAVES BOTH KIDS WITH ME. This was pre-dc and I had literally met them 5 minutes earlier.

We were gardening and had a pond. I had to stop the baby falling in it. Girl then takes herself inside and says "I want lunch. You can do beans on toast." I said, "I'm going out!" then marched them both back to their house. The Mum was clearly pissed off they were back so soon and never spoke to me again.

CaptChaos Tue 12-Aug-14 16:12:41

I am a brass necked arsewipe magnet.

I had not long escaped a violent relationship and was waiting to start my degree, so was living on benefits for a while with DS (aged 1) in a studio flat. I had made a couple of new friends with small children around the same age as DS and we had a reciprocal arrangement for an hour or 2's babysitting here and there. One day one of the women asked me if I'd mind having her boy aged 18 months overnight for her, while she worked. She would give me a few quid for doing it, so I agreed.

She turned up with her DS, who was a sweetie, with a few bits in a bag on the Friday evening, left in a cloud of perfume with promises of returning before 10am to collect him.

They settled down beautifully and we had a lovely evening and a decent sleep, I gave them breakfast, changed him into his last nappy and popped the TV on for a little while so I could do some jobs while I waited for her to pick him up. It got to 1pm, so I fed him some lunch, tried to call his mother, no answer. He needed a new nappy, so I had to use one of DS's. 5pm arrived, still no sign, no one answering her phone, so called her mother, no joy there. Called another friend who suggested she might have hooked up with someone, so I left it, fed them both and got them ready for bed. By this point, I had about 3 nappies left, not much food and no money as I didn't get my benefits until Monday. I had no money for the launderette, so had to boil some nappies on the stove and put the heating on to make sure they dried.

Sunday, the same thing, except I didn't eat, just in case, as I had no food left. Calls to various people, no one had seen her, her mother hadn't heard anything, so could I hang on to him for a little longer?

Monday, at 7pm she turns back up, further clouds of perfume, air kissing, thank you thank you, and she turns to leave. I ask her for the money she has promised, and she looks shocked and asks me what I want money for, as I hadn't had to spend much on her DS. She eventually, grudgingly gave me £20, but made sure I knew she wasn't happy about it.

Needless to say, I never babysat for her again, and very soon afterwards stopped speaking to her completely. Turns out she had been offered a weekend's work, where she made a stupidly large amount of money, but failed to let anyone (including the mug looking after her poor son) know. Also turns out that she did this a lot.

cyberfairy Tue 12-Aug-14 16:15:15

In a very busy Bath Sainsbury's, a woman got in the queue for the five items or less till with an overflowing basket. When this was pointed out to her by the cashier, she looked at him with disdain and trilled, 'But I am BUSY'. He served her.

An ex boyfriend ( gorgeous but so stingy) said he would take me out for dinner (first time ever) He took me to a very posh steak restaurant in Bath. I am vegetarian which he knew. He ordered meaty courses lavishly. I had risotto. Then he said ' We're going halves, yeah'? at the end. Then realised he had 'forgotten' his wallet. This is the same ex who promised me he would come to my house and cook me a brilliant curry. He was brilliant at making curry apparently. The brilliant curry was a tin of Sainbury's economy potatoes with some curry powder mixed in.

DoTheStrand Tue 12-Aug-14 16:20:50

I live on the same road as a sixth form college. It is a wealthy area (street always packed out with student cars, etc) and some have developed an amazing sense of entitlement. One early afternoon I was in the house with DS1, then a toddler. Student knocked on door and told me a long and involved story about losing his car keys, someone was bringing a spare set but car was outside my house unlocked and could I watch out of my window to make sure no one stole the car while he went to lessons. I queried this with him and yes he really did expect a stranger to stay in all afternoon, standing looking out of the window for potential car thieves while he went to classes. I declined.

Roussette Tue 12-Aug-14 16:21:42

I know Username! It was difficult to stop the unarranged childcare because the two girls got on and I obviously didn't want to mess up their friendship as they caught the school bus together. We did start to eat later though as it was getting on my tits after the shed incident.
DD and I do laugh about it now and says how she can't believe she has never seen the inside of Susy's house! I say to her... well you did see the inside of the shed grin

We still live in the same place all these years later, and the Mum (who is not next door but lives not far and is part of our social group) is still just as bad in fact she irritates the HELL out of me and has been to our house for bbq's, social events, drinks etc LOADS of times. I've been in her house just once for a drink on the way somewhere and I was hustled out pretty damn quick. I felt like wiping my feet on her cream carpet grin Aren't people odd... .

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 16:22:31

Celia and CaptChaos - outrageous!! shock

Wineandcakes Tue 12-Aug-14 16:23:22

We live 150 miles from my parents & MIL who lived in same town. My parents visit us every couple of months, MIL comes maybe once a year. She used my parents' visits as a courier service to save stamps on birthday cards etc. and I was perfectly fine with that, stamps cost a fortune. However, a couple of years ago my parents moved to the other side of the country and so the courier service stopped.

That year MIL phoned at 10pm the night before DS 5th birthday to say she had forgotten to post his card and would do it next day ie on his birthday. She also said that DD1's card was in same envelope as her birthday was three days later. Cards arrived fortnight later as she put four cards in one envelope and posted second class so not enough postage. I had to go out to sorting office to collect cards, pay the difference in postage and the £1 handling fee.

When DH mentioned all this to her she blamed my parents for not being there to deliver them and griped that it was most inconvenient.....

Wannabestepfordwife Tue 12-Aug-14 16:24:29

My uncles wife is brass necked beyond belief. They live abroad and these are just a few things she's done when coming back to visit.

If she ever goes out for a meal she hides in the toilet when the bill comes so someone else pays for her.

She was staying with my great uncle who has 3 bed house with my cousin and grandad. She expected my grandad who was recovering from cancer to sleep on the sofa so she had a room to herself to nurse her hangovers.

We were having a small family reunion with family mners who hadn't seen great uncle for over 30 years. They were staying close to where she was meeting a friend. She made them leave when they were having a whale of a time and was an hour and a half late to meet her friend just so she didn't have to pay for a taxi.

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 16:24:29

If fact some of these people don't have brass necks so much as titanium necks!

AnnaLegovah Tue 12-Aug-14 16:26:38

We've had problems with noisy neighbours for years - woman who owns the house has long indulged her spoilt and perfect son who likes to have lots of parties. She moved out so he could move his friends in and now they rent from her. She's in major denial that he's an utter arsehole and in the past has used every excuse under the sun to defend his behaviour (she even appeared in the local paper with a sad face coz he got into a fight and locked up by the police and nobody rang her to tell her).

One night recently they had a huge party for one of their friends who doesn't live even there. DC was ill so we were cranky and tired. It gets to 1am, music still going and no answer when we knock on the door. So I text her. Being polite, point out that DC is sick, we're tired, and can she ask them to turn the noise down.

Her text reply? A weak-limbed apology and sympathy for our lack of sleep. Her words were - 'I know what it's like not to get much sleep, my Mum was diagnosed with cancer recently'. hmm

Not only did she pull the cancer card, she used this exact same excuse 18 months previously (and I have the text from then to prove it). hmm

cyberfairy Tue 12-Aug-14 16:26:56

Oh- another one! I was waiting for bus to uni in Lancaster with my toddler- boarded and sat down at back-noticed student pleading with bus driver to let him on without fare, said he had a friend waiting for him at other end at uni. Bus driver refused- student aid he would miss his first ever lecture. Despite being skint, I offered to pay bus fare. He said 'cheers', sat down then jumped off bus at stop before uni- then I noticed he had that day's edition of the sodding Times under his arm.

DesertDweller Tue 12-Aug-14 16:32:25

I had a house share with three other friends for a year. After a year, two of them decided to move out. We had bought some Ikea furniture for the lounge - table, chairs, two of those really basic sofas. When the two replacement housemates moved in, the moving out ones demanded that they pay them the equivalent of the brand new price of the furniture, despite it being a year old.

KERALA1 Tue 12-Aug-14 16:35:30

When I was a teenager I waitressed at the local pub as did my friends. A very grand lady that I babysat for asked if I and my friends could waitress at her sons 18th. We were about the same age but went to the local comp whilst son was at the local public school.

They had a mansion, marquee, caterers. We worked really hard 4 of us serving 3 course sit down meal for 150. At the end she announced she wasn't going to pay us because we should be grateful we were at the party at all! Note we hadn't eaten or drunk or socialised with the hooray Henry's. We were so shocked we slung off home luckily my mother was more ahem assertive with her the next day!

LiDLrichardsPistachioSack Tue 12-Aug-14 16:37:50

Yay I love this thread! Some of these are shocking.

I'm a hairdresser. Years ago a client I'd seen once before booked in for a colour and cut. We chatted about what she was after, all fine and dandy--and then she says "so it's only been 8 weeks since you cut my hair last, so I won't be paying for THIS haircut."

I looked at her and laughed! Oh yes, I love doing my job for free! plus I showed her my records and it had in fact been 16 weeks, cheeky bitch

I also that same week had a mum with her newborn PFB who demanded I turn the music down, changed her baby's nappy on the dryer chair mid-cut, leaving the dirty nappy ON THE CHAIR, had her baby on her lap while I worked and then had a go at me for hair falling on her baby as I was cutting. Because I can just reverse gravity. I firmly but politely told her this was making my job very difficult and she complained about me and called me a bitch when she was paying!

CaptChaos Tue 12-Aug-14 16:47:13

Because I had taken the world's smallest studio flat, I had nowhere to store a few things, camping stuff mostly, I'd had to camp in a friend's garden for a couple of nights while escaping the violent twat another 'friend' offered me their unused garage to store it.

About 6 months later, I went over to theirs because they had a list of campsites I wanted to borrow and we discussed what DS and I were going to do while away and if we needed to borrow any of their equipment etc.

3 days before we were leaving for the holiday, I popped round to collect my tent and other gear, opened the garage door to find it had all gone! I called them at work to be told that they had completely forgotten it was mine and had sold it all through the local paper!

The best bit of this was, I was paying them a small rent for the use of the garage, and they had actually offered to go through my stuff with me to make sure it was all in good nick!!!

Luckily, other actual friends rallied round and we still went and had a fab week away.

hollycomputer Tue 12-Aug-14 16:47:28

Oh, how I love this thread! grin

One from me. MIL has a relative who is loaded yet horrendously stingy. As he's family, he often ends up being invited for meals out. A few years ago me and DH took MIL for a mother's day lunch at a nice hotel near where she lives and the relative invited himself along. We were a bit confused but too polite to comment. He ordered the most expensive things on the menu and a large number of double scotches.

When the bill came, he sat and stared in silence into middle distance and DH ended up paying for the lot. I put down some cash as a tip as we were leaving and just as I turned away, I saw him go to pick the tip up and pocket it . I'd run out of patience by then so I said 'that's for the staff, not you' and he looked blankly at me but put the money down. But worse was to come.

We got outside and realised that stingy relative had driven to the restaurant and now was in no fit state to drive. So he turned to MIL and told her she was taking him home - an hour and a half's drive in the wrong direction for her. He'd also expected her to come back and get him the next day to collect his car! We were all gobsmacked. DH ended up taking him home. I was livid.

fingerbiter Tue 12-Aug-14 16:48:36

When I was a student I stayed on in my student house for the summer after we finished - our lease ran out at the end of August and I used the time to hunt for a 'real' job. It was just me in a 4 bed house until one of the 'incoming' girls moved in early with her boyfriend.

I returned home from a weekend at my parents' to find they'd moved in, used my toiletries, cutlery, plates (unwashed), food etc etc with no intention of replacing it. Then the girl got the hump because in the september my room was to become hers and she wanted me to move into another bedroom so she could move her stuff in. I pointed out it was still 'my' room and said no.

I had weeks of intimidation from her boyfriend, her mum, her sister and her who took it in turns to try and bully me into moving. I came home early one day to find her mum and her trying to pick the lock on my bedroom door. I had to move everything that was mine into my bedroom (except food). She thought I was most unreasonable. She and her boyfriend paid nothing towards gas/electric so I took my name off the house bill and used as much as I could for the last few weeks I was there. She even piled boxes of her stuff against my bedroom door so I couldn't get out.

It was a sad day when I finally moved out of that house whe my lease expired. But I did get the last laugh - I went through the boxes she put against my door and stole all her microgynon. smile

ptumbi Tue 12-Aug-14 16:51:05

I've had the 'neighbour asking for babyminding duties' only to find the gran in the house, just not wanting to look after gc.

We used to co-babysit; she'd look after ds3 while I went to school assemblies etc, and I'd do the same for her dd4. Until I looked out of the window, wondering where the hell she was (an hour after assembly finished) to see her staggering up the road with loads of Iceland bags...

And not 'Mexican' grin - but dp regularly finds the sister of a neighbour (that he's fallen out with) parking in his drive because she didn't want to get a ticket parking on the road. Their reasoning is that he is not using it during the day so what's the problem. (I fully expect them to have no problem using his kettle/teabags/shower...)

We had the 17YO daughter of the same toxic neighbour knocking on the door at 1am one saturday night interrupting, much? bleeding and cut, having fallen, drunk. into a few bushes, barbed wire, broken glass, dunno. We had been drinking so phoned a taxi to take us all to A&E (couldn't get hold of toxicmother, herself out drinking) so sat with daughter while cleaned up and bandaged - she wouldn't let them stitch the bad cut on her arm. Phoned taxi home at 3am. Next day we got told off by toxicmother, who harangued us that we 'should have' insisted on stitches on her arm. She was 17, and dragged back by her mother to hospital to get stitches. (same daughter totally cut us dead when toxic neighbour decided that the whole family should not talk to us at all. They still don't, even after all dp has done for them. They still park in his drive tho)

pigglepaggle Tue 12-Aug-14 16:51:29

Out of the blue SIL and BIL asked if we'd like to go out for a meal with them one night. We don't normally socialise with them.
They chose the restaurant (which was miles away) and we picked them up (they didn't have a car at the time) and also paid for pre dinner drinks in the bar.
After the meal when we were presented with the bill she whipped out a voucher to pay for their half.

First few weeks at university I got a reputation for being capable because I could strip / make a bed, knew how a washing machine worked, was capable of cooking without setting off the fire alarms etc.

One bloke asked me if I would show him how to iron, to which I agreed, the next thing I knew he'd brought in a tub of crumpled shirts and announced that I didn't need him to stand and watch, he was sure I was able to do them, but please to be careful round the seams under the arms as it really annoyed him when those weren't straight.

Then he made for the door.

He was most indignant when I told him that I wasn't doing it for him, and even more indignant when I turned down his suggestion that he pay me, on the basis that he was offering me more than his mother paid their ironing woman at home!!

wiifitaddict1 Tue 12-Aug-14 17:02:53

Went to a local fayre and dd won a cuddly toy. It dipped it downsol she put it under her coat and dropped it. We searched for pa tent to find out if it was handed in. This was less than 5 minutes after it was dropped. We were told it was handed it but someone else claimed it as theirs. Cue one very upset dd.
Another one in Sainsbury. Wow some of their customers are entitled. I was queing at customer services. Not a proper queuing system but there were two people in front of me. A lady came from the other direction and stood near the counter. I just knew she was going to cut in. The other people were served and my baby was getting more grizzly. Predictably she dashed to the counter. I said excuse me I was 1st but she just ignored me. The member of staff was young and embarrassed so I didn't pursue it more apart from pa discussion about rude people with my friend. Anyway I got the last laugh whe she was all indignant about being overcharged but she actually picked up the wrong item.

GemmaWella81 Tue 12-Aug-14 17:06:45

Manager at my work gave permission for her two staff to be off, she then realised a few days later she'd have to be the one doing the work (she was a skiver). She guilt tripped the other two to cancel their holiday.... And then proceeded to take the week off herself.

cailindana Tue 12-Aug-14 17:21:08

I've tried to figure out why my sister is the way she is and I think it's basically down to the fact that she has inherited the worst of both my parents' traits. My father is a self-absorbed dreamer who is kind at heart and my mother is a childish manipulator who is very capable. She is a self absorbed childish manipulator sad Since my parents have never ever challenged her behaviour she hasn't learned to be any different, and probably never will at this stage.

HermioneDanger Tue 12-Aug-14 17:21:27

My father paid off my younger sister's debt to the taxman as they were threatening legal action. It was thousands of pounds. HMRC, being the joined up organisation they are then sent her a tax rebate. She spent the lot going on holiday.

Sidge Tue 12-Aug-14 17:26:45

I lived in Wimbledon Park as a student at Uni, in a rented house. The house had a driveway which had a gate across it, padlocked. None of us student renters had a car but the landlady liked to keep the driveway clear in case she came back for a few days (she lived and worked in East Anglia but kept a room in the house for her own use for when she came back to London).

Anyway given that the house was only half a mile from the Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Club we were quite used to the roads being rammed with parked cars, and had even had people knocking on our door asking to use the loo or if we had strawberries for sale. But one day we came back from lectures to discover someone had cut/broken the padlock on the gate and parked their car on the drive!!!

We found another padlock on the shed and relocked the gate, then when the owners came back after a long hot day watching the tennis we sent the Brazilian student who spoke virtually no English to deal with the couple. They ended up having to leave their car there for the night and come all the way back the next day grin

futureponyclubmum Tue 12-Aug-14 17:30:17

In my last (and final) house share one of my housemates got 3 months paid redundancy, to supplement her income she decided to start dealing reasonable quantities of illegal substances from the house....she failed to understand why we were a) horrified and b) terrified as she also put a few noses out of joint in the process and if someone had called the police we would all be liable as it was a shared house. Needless to say the lease got quickly terminated and we all vacated asap, during which time she was generally very unpleasant to live with.
I organised a cleaning company to blitz the house and as she was the last to leave I had to give her enough money to cover it so left her with �160. She texted me to say that it was done and that it had cost the full amount.....what she didnt bank on was that I would double check with the cleaning company. No it had actually only cost �120. She obviously forgot as I managed the household accounts I could simply take the �40 from the deposit she was owed. She was very indignant apparently I should have 'paid' her �40 for letting the cleaning company in??? This after weeks of grief she had given us and forcing us to give up a perfectly good house......

Yerazig Tue 12-Aug-14 17:30:28

I'm a nanny a temp job I was working in Hated the dad at the best of times. He came in 3 hours late drunk and literally was like oh I'm late..sorry!!!

hollycomputer Tue 12-Aug-14 17:35:38

I actually posted this on the cheeky thread but I think it has a place here too.

When I was a student I was living with a guy who was pretty feckless. He was a creative type who didn't see why he should have to work, especially as I was working, despite the fact I didn't really earn enough to support us both. Things reached breaking point with us and he was offered a job abroad for a year which he decided to take.

At the time, we were living in a rented flat and I couldn't get out of the contract so he invited his brother to stay while he was away (without consulting me). I was pissed off that he hadn't asked me but I got on OK with the brother and was relieved that I'd be getting money towards rent and bills as exDP told me his brother had agreed it.

Brother moved in and was commuting back and forth to London for work, but he'd meet me every day and we'd go to the supermarket to buy dinner. For the first week, he'd either make an excuse when we got to the tills - 'Oh, I've spent so much money today, would you mind getting this?' (obviously he expected me to cook too). Or he'd just disappear saying he had to go and get something, then reappear after I'd gone through the checkout all disappointed and apologising for not being there when I paid. Funnily enough, he never offered any money, just said he'd buy me a takeaway next time.

I got wise to this after a few days and would make sure I either didn't meet him after work or made a point of buying only my own food, to which he huffed and puffed and passive-aggressively whined about being skint. Yeah, tell me about it, I'm doing a 40 hour week at minimum wage while writing my dissertation, mate. He refused to pay any money for bills, borrowed my mobile phone if I made the mistake of leaving it lying around, and when I eventually asked him for money towards rent he refused, saying that it wasn't fair because the bed in the spare room was smaller than he was used to. So I said he had to find somewhere else to live. He kicked up massively, calling me stingy and spent days in a strop.

After about a week he found somewhere else to live, but made a point of saying he would move out while I was at work. This rang alarm bells so I made sure I would be at home, only to find him helping himself to food from my fridge to take with him to his new flat along with some of my bedding, towels and kitchenware. I saw him loading it into boxes and confronted him, only to have him start moaning about how selfish I was and he was 'only borrowing' it. Like fuck. I took it all back and a massive row ensued when he called exDP demanding he 'make' me apologise to him! Thankfully, the next day he left. But I had to throw out the pillow he'd used because he was a skanky bastard who never washed his hair and the stains wouldn't come out. I also found out that he'd been stealing from a bottle of Stolichnaya I had in the freezer which I'd been given as a present - it was nearly completely water which he'd topped the bottle up with so I didn't notice.

To cap it all, I'd got exDP a phone on my account which he ran up £600 worth of bills on then tried to get out of paying. I made him pay it. About six months after we split up (which unsurprisingly wasn't too long after brother-gate), he phoned me at work and begged me to lend him money. I said no and asked him when he planned to pay me back all the other money he'd borrowed. He went quiet. I hung up. Never heard from him again.

ADinnerofHerbs Tue 12-Aug-14 17:44:07

A guy I had been seeing for over a year, finished with me on Christmas Eve. I was at home sobbing when he rang to say that he had only finished with me because he thought a gorgeous woman at work was interested in him and he had booked them a table at a restaurant for that evening. She refused to go out with him, so he thought he could pick up where he left off with me!!!!! Another guy was definitely the one for me..... And then he finished things because his mother didn't like me! I hit him over the head with a horrible statue I got for my 21st (it survived intact and I have it still!) and told him he was pathetic. The next day he called to say he agreed and we are still together eleven years later, married with two children. He still insists his mother is ok and I have to put my foot down re her interference still. She remains the only subject that ever causes friction between us and she thinks I should include her more!!!

MissingDietCoke Tue 12-Aug-14 17:48:26

My utterly charming MIL and FIL invited themselves to ours for Christmas dinner, our first Christmas with DD. I made a huge effort including cooking an elaborate ham as well as a turkey cos FIL doesn't do turkey. Among many things they are their dinner before I'd even sat down (I was seeing to the baby), left at 5pm because "the baby keeps crying and it's not peaceful", and drank all my booze. They bought DD, their first grandchild, nothing for Christmas whatsoever. Best though was MIL offered to bring pudding, but I had already arranged a bought in pudding from a local business start up I was helping to support. When I told MIL she said that was ok she'd pay for it, I said lovely thanks but then she refused when I told her it was a tenner as she said that was a ridiculous price. We'd all been too full after dinner to eat the pudding, so when they left, she asked if could box up their half of the pudding to take home. shock

windchime Tue 12-Aug-14 17:56:58

We are staying in our holiday home atm, and invited PIL down for a few days. BIL stopped over one night on his way to a football match. We all went out for a meal last Friday, and, as usual, it was assumed that DH would pick up the tab. BIL chose his seat at the table and let DH go to the bar with our orders for drinks. Then, DH asks around the table for food orders, and everyone wants standard pub fare like bbq chicken, scampi, etc. Then BIL orders the lobster. The fucking lobster. At no point, during or after the meal, or before he left, did he offer to pay for the lobster, or buy drinks or anything. My jaw is still on the floor. He is an architect in a well-know business.

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis Tue 12-Aug-14 17:58:47

I have just overheard this corker in a naice shop in our town. Teenage boy with lovely shiny hair comes in, obviously knows shop owner. "Is there a jeweller in town that sells x brand watches? (Think ££) only I got this in a big jewellery chain(none of which in town) and I've scratched the face. Just want to take it back and get my money back. If they sell them I thought I could get a refund from them instead" she suggested going to the chain and insisting on a refund from them.

ADinnerofHerbs Tue 12-Aug-14 18:01:32

Another one was the family members who kindly lent us their holiday cottage for the weekend, so we could have a nice break. When we arrived there was a list pinned up with all the cleaning and maintenance jobs they thought we would not mind doing, in exchange for 'the break!' We spent all our time hammering and wiping and saw nothing of the area!!! They even arranged for the guy from the village store to pop round while we were there. They had a tab for papers etc and told him that we would settle up for three months worth of broadsheet papers! Never again!!!

Helenagrace Tue 12-Aug-14 18:03:30

I have an acquaintance who says "I'll have that when she's finished with it" whenever DD has anything new. A good friend of mine recently left her twat of an ex and was financially strapped for a bit so I gave her DD's old clothes, including a really lovely pair of not that used converse. Acquaintance went ballistic and demanded to know why I'd given "her DD's converse" away because she'd claimed them first.

I work from home and regularly get people tracking down my number / email when there's an inset day thinking I have nothing better to do than look after children I don't know. They often have the cheek to get arsey when I refuse too!

sashh Tue 12-Aug-14 18:10:30

Just remembered one from my grandmother.

Grandmother was planning a trip to the seaside for a week with the other widow who lived in the same block of flats.

My aunt and her partner said they would drive them as it would be a nice day out for them.

Gran phoned them a few days later to say that as they had a 'driver' now they had decided to go further afield as they could now 'go anywhere'.

ADinnerofHerbs Tue 12-Aug-14 18:15:27

I have never posted until this thread but just can't stop as I have so many examples of this! I got back in touch with an old friend and she thought it would be nice for our children to exchange Christmas presents. She asked what my children would like and I said their coloured pens were running low so some pens would be nice. I then asked what her son would like and she said she had emailed me. I checked and there was an all singing, all dancing spreadsheet with her son's requests, the cheapest thing being thirty pounds!!!! I told her my daughter had decided she wanted to choose his gift and bought something small.

fatpony Tue 12-Aug-14 18:20:32

A couple of years ago I was on a long overnight BA flight o Africa. By being savvy and reserving a seat online I had got a bulkhead/exit seat meaning a bit more leg room (this was before you had to pay £50 for them on top of the fare). As I was settling into my seat for the journey a very tall man from a few rows back sauntered over and loudly asked if I could swap seats with him.

When I looked over his seat was in the middle of the middle four with small children either side - his own children! When I politely said no and that I had reserved the seat as was my right he gave me a very loud dressing down as to why I shouldn't have it (I'm small) and he should (tall and needed the leg room). I was bright red but stood my ground! As if I wanted to spend a night flight sandwiched between a stranger's two and four year old...

Smilesandpiles Tue 12-Aug-14 18:22:15

My old neighbours had a poodle. When he retired they decided to go away for a month leaving their poodle which they had for years with a friend. They gave the friends loads of food, shampoo, money, cheques and made sure he had some beers in too. They were very generous to this friend and were thankful he was doing them this massive favour.

They come back from this holiday, loving every second of it calling every week about the dog and to make sure he didn't need anything else, go to collect their dog from their friend to find out that he gave the dog away to the dogs home the day before they left for their holiday! He had the dog for a grand total of 28 hours.

A race to the dogs home to discover the dog had already been rehomed a week after it arrived due to it's pedegree, how well it was looked after and were stunned that the "owner" wanted to give it away in the first place.

This was back in the 80's so I'm not sure if more checks are done now.

Heartbroken didn't even come near it. When they told me about it they were still very upset by the whole thing. They never got another dog after that and never trusted anyone since.

ADinnerofHerbs Tue 12-Aug-14 18:26:18

Someone has posted something similar, just wanted to add it's happened to me too. I gave a friend of mine all my outdoor little tikes toys and wooden kitchen, wooden ride on's etc. My husband fitted her new lights and fence panels as a favour as her husband is not practical. She knocked at the door with a toy for my daughter. Something she wasn't into but I politely thanked her profusely as I thought she just wanted to give something back in return. A few hrs later she texted to say she hated to ask but her daughter was hoping for some money for the toy, to put towards her new keyboard. I paid up but have never given her anything else.

Pancakeflipper Tue 12-Aug-14 18:27:50

In the early hours one morning my father woke up to hear odd noises in his garden. On the drive a couple were having a shag. They had to climb over high locked wrought iron gates to get into his garden. They could have opted for a low wall and field next to his house...

Father went out and told them to get out of his garden.
They told him to fuck off and continued.
He went and got the hose pipe and hosed them down.
They stopped shagging and phoned the police demanding they arrest my father.

Police turned up and the couple couldn't understand why they would not arrest my father and were outraged. Lots of shouting so more neighbours woke up and came out to see the fun.

My mother made everyone a cup of tea but the shaggers refused the hospitality. Police took them home with warnings about trespassing.

Deverethemuzzler Tue 12-Aug-14 18:32:53

My OH's dn needed someone to take care of her newborn whilst she was assessed by SS.
We agreed to do this.
I took all my annual and emergency leave from work so we coud do it.
Baby was traumatised and hardly slept, fed tiny amounts every hour.
Arrived with nothing. No clothes, no bottles, no formula.
I was up all night then had to get up v.early to get dcs ready for school and then get baby across London on the tube in the rush hour to see dn.
She wrote me a note in the book I had made for her to record baby's day so she wouldn't miss everything.
'make sure xxxx is only dressed in clothes fom next or mothercare'
She also moaned about the stroller I bought because I couldn't carry the tank she had bought up and down the stairs in the Underground.
When I asked if the meetings could be made a bit earlier to enable the baby to have a better routine and possibly move them closer to us to stop him being moved around so much....'no. I am not getting up early! I will miss my programmes and why should I have to travel to see my baby!'

She then called me and said she wanted all the baby clothes and equipment (that I had bought) 'back' for her next baby.

Brass neck doesn't even cover it!

SignoraStronza Tue 12-Aug-14 18:33:41

My best mate, years ago. Demanded at the last minute I do a 300 mile round trip to help her move her stuff, as she needed to be out of her house by the end of the following weekend.

I asked if it would be possible to do it the following weekend as I had plans. It would be a bank holiday and we could make a nice, relaxed weekend of it. No, had to be done immediately. So, with plans cancelled, I duly trekked over to see her and lug/move her gear.

Turned out that the reason it couldn't be done over the bank holiday is because she would be schlepping off to Wales to meet the parents of the new man she was shagging. Who had just returned from a year's travelling.

The same guy who had dumped me before he left, broke my heart, cheated on me and given me chlamydia.

Still, they managed to make it work for a while and even moved in together. Until she discovered he had 'serviced' a mutual friend in their living room after she'd retired to bed one night.

We're still really good friends and, to my credit I never once said 'I told you so'.

ADinnerofHerbs Tue 12-Aug-14 18:35:20

Chuckling so much at the shaggers being offered a cup of tea! Just choked

GemmaTeller Tue 12-Aug-14 18:38:15

When we lived in our previous house:

Answered a knock at the door and there was two young girls stood there (about 5 and 7ish). I had seen them about but didn't know their names or where they lived.

'Can we walk your dogs?' asked the youngest

'No, sorry, they are too big for you and they have already been out today' I replied.

She thought for a minute then said 'can we have some money then?'

....not sure what the going rate is for a five year old to walk a six stone boxer on her own.....

Gilbertblyhesmissus Tue 12-Aug-14 18:40:57

the shaggers refused the hospitality grin

When we got married DHs uncle took lots of photographs of our guests standing about and chatting as he thought they would be something a bit less formal to have alongside our other photos. A lovely idea and was an extra wedding gift from them. He passed them onto MIL to give us. She took out all the best ones for herself to save ordering an official photo and gave us what was left telling us that we could use the negatives to work out which ones were missing and get them printed off. It cost us a fortune. We were virtually penniless having not long finished uni. She is a very wealthy woman.

spongebob5 Tue 12-Aug-14 18:43:37

I came home one afternoon from shopping, my two DDs ran around to the garden to play on the trampoline. I could hear them talking to someone so went to investigate. My NDN was sat on one of my patio chairs with her youngest GC on her lap watching her other GCs bounce on my trampoline!

She looked at me, then without saying anything called the GCs off the trampoline and walked past me! :O

MamaLazarou Tue 12-Aug-14 18:55:59

My friend/neighbour is a childminder and our neighbour asked her to collect her two children (aged 6 and 8) from school and have them until ten PM. The children's father gets home from work at 5PM but sees childcare as women's work.

Obviously, my friend said no but wished her luck in finding a childminder who would be willing to have the kids til 10pm each weekday! She didn't even want them put to bed or anything - just expected them to play/hang out/watch tv at the childminder's house all that time.

OldFarticus Tue 12-Aug-14 19:00:03

I have a small apartment in a ritzy-ish destination. A friend (albeit not a close one) wanted to come and stay with me for the duration of a sporting event, because hotel prices are steep at that time. I said yes, but explained that as it is a 1-bed, I would be sharing the bedroom/double bed with my closest mate (who was also visting for the same event), but she was welcome to the single sofa bed in the study.

She turned up with a friend I had never met and said that they were hoping to "hang out together" at the apartments' shared pool. I was (just about) fine with this. Then her friend said she didn't want a drink but was going to go into the bedroom for a nap. I was so shocked I just said yes and she got undressed and went to sleep in my naice fresh clean sheets just put on for me and my bestie! She covered the pillowcase in orange foundation, slept for 3 hours and didn't even say thank you.

We ended up coming back from the event separately. My bestie and I were drunk really tired and collapsed into the double bed. Woke up next days and there was a pair of men's shoes outside my study and a pair of inside out men's jeans on the sofa with some dodgy looking stains. When I got out the shower my friend was sitting on the sofa trying not to piss herself laughing while a strange man helped himself to toast and tea in my kitchen...

I am afraid I turned into my mother for a second and used the immortal phrase "Don't you dare treat my home like a cheap hotel!" They left shortly after and although she has asked me every year since, amazingly there is always something terribly important going on at work when she wants to come and visit... wink

MehsMum Tue 12-Aug-14 19:10:50

I could write a book about my SIL's brass neck. A few examples:

She, pregnant, rang up one weekend to invite herself and her toddler to our flat for the afternoon. I was pregnant too - at the knackered and nauseous stage. I explained that DH was at work and that I'd been away all week for work and had to hand wash work clothes but she could come if she liked (I think anyone else might have said, 'Oh, no, I can see that's not convenient - not to worry!')

She came. She lounged on the sofa in our not at all childproofed flat and in between naps told me, 'Oh, you'll have to move those, otherwise DS will have them. Oh look, DS has your stuff, you'd better get it off him. The only way to cope with small DC in the place is to move everything out of reach. I think he's found your wine rack... Really, you need to move everything out of his reach.' As she did NOTHING, though she could plainly see that moving everything out of his reach wasn't possible in that flat.

She came to stay a year or so later, leaving her DC2 at home, but bringing her DS. She was, unsurprisingly, the laziest house guest I have ever had. I spent hours entertaining her DS. I bought expensive foods I would never have bought normally, at her request, with her there, and though she knew we were less well off than she was, she didn't part with a penny. Every evening, she repaired to the living room with a bottle of wine to talk to DH leaving me (who had cooked) with all the washing up. DH said it would be rude to leave her or ask her to help. DH wasn't popular.

Scroll on a few more years. She was due to come for the weekend and I was dreading it. She phoned up. 'Oh, DS has a friend staying this weekend. I'm bringing him too if that's alright.'

No, it wasn't alright. I said he couldn't come, so none of them came. I don't think she's been to stay since.

<Goes off to find a beer to lower blood pressure>

Roussette Tue 12-Aug-14 19:12:13

All this reminds me of the thread with the poster who has a mobile home and she lent it to a work colleague and partner for 1 night but they wanted to take 4 friends with them and go for 3 nights or something like that

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 19:14:42

I'm swinging between snorts of laughter and utter outrage at some of these.

I've remembered another one.

A hideous former neighbour who used to shove her son through our garden gate (without asking) to play with our kids when she wanted peace.

I eventually caught her in the act one day and she was all "You don't mind do you?"

I told her that yes, I did mind as we were going out.

We went out a lot that summer - thankfully she moved shortly after.

RobinHumphries Tue 12-Aug-14 19:19:48

Roussette there were quite a few posters who thought the OP was being unreasonable with that story!

Roussette Tue 12-Aug-14 19:22:24

Robin Ye Gods did they?! I didn't! but this might come down to my experience of being taken advantage of in very similar circumstances

Nancy66 Tue 12-Aug-14 19:22:30

Several years ago a couple moved onto our street and bought a very run down house.

They posted flyers through everyone's door suggesting it would be a 'fun community project' if we all pitched up to theirs one weekend and helped them paint, wallpaper, strip floors and generally tart their house up for them in return for absolutely fuck all.

I don't think they got many takers

insancerre Tue 12-Aug-14 19:22:34

Today at work I had a phone call from a parent who had had their child's place suspended because they hadn't osidcthw nursery fees
Despite having a payment plan which hasn't been followed.
We are talking hundreds of pounds hers
She balled me out because its not fair to her child that she can't come to nursery.
No its not fair. So pay your bloody nursery fees then
Or shall I just not pay my staff this month?
Some people !

oldgrandmama Tue 12-Aug-14 19:23:59

My best friend was in the habit of asking me to look after her four year old son - he was the same age as my DS. The kid was a bit of a brat -whiney, spiteful and my kid didn't like him, but hell, I'm a good friend so I oblige.

Often she'd leave him with me for the day, because she wanted to go 'Up West' for clothes shopping.

Eventually the shit hit the fan when I found out that far from 'shopping', she was spending those days rolling round in a motel room with someone. My husband.

Voodoobooboo Tue 12-Aug-14 19:24:00

I have one from my lovely ex boss. She discovered her DP had an OW and all turned into a big drama. They had been together for years and had weathered some tough stuff and everyone thought they were made for each other. Anyway it descended into a pretty acrimonious situation but she was brilliant and held it together well. Until the day, a few weeks after he had moved to the USA with OW and she opened her credit card statement.......... And discovered 2 business class flights for him and OW, including additional luggage on her credit card!
I never did find out his justification for this, but I heard some very choice views from her on the subject!

flippinada Tue 12-Aug-14 19:25:01

I still can't think of any - some of these are absolute shockers. The one about the dog is particularly awful - I hope the "friend" got his comeuppance.

spanieleyes Tue 12-Aug-14 19:25:05

My aunt and uncle , who ran a small B&B, once invited my grandparents ( his parents) to stay in the house part for a few days. They had a lovely time and Aunt asked if they wanted to stay on for a few more days-to spend some time with their grandson who had just broken up from school. They did so but were quite surprised at the end of the week to be given the bill!

Roussette Tue 12-Aug-14 19:29:04

OMG oldgrandmama that is truly dreadful. The betrayal from both shock

pigglepaggle Tue 12-Aug-14 19:29:12

MamaLazarou I used to work as a childminder and the amount of times friends would ask if I'd collect their kids from school or help out during holidays and be funny with me when I said no.
I could only have a set number of mindees and yes I charged for them it was my job.

LizLimone Tue 12-Aug-14 19:41:06

As part of the mothers group I'm in we organize regular social nights out, usually just the 'moms' together so there's no need to arrange a babysitter. Someone volunteers to coordinate the nights out, usually booking a restaurant or wine tasting etc.

A new member joined the group, volunteered to set up the nights out for the year - great, really nice of her we thought...

Her first night out? Well, it was a moms night IN at her house, a good half hour drive for many of us and she pitched it as a moms and dad's night out saying 'hubbies' should join too. This obviously was done so her DH could socialize at home too without feeling awkward.

The icing on the cake was when she decided her good friend was going to cater the evening with 'yummy apps' - at a cost of $20 each hmm

... So we're supposed to hire babysitters to come and socialize at your house and then PAY your friend for any hospitality offered??? Er, how 'bout no?

Couldn't believe the brass neck of her, especially not even knowing most of us that well! Amazingly about 6 people in the group and their DHs showed up and happily forked over $$ for the privilege... so I guess it pays to be cheeky...

TruJay Tue 12-Aug-14 19:43:07

oldgrandmama oh my god, that is dispicable, I hope u punched the pair of them! There are actually no words for that.....

VFXdad Tue 12-Aug-14 19:45:47

Parked my car in the town pay and display last week.

Wandering over to the ticket machine, out of corner of eye see a man at double pace. We both arrive at the ticket machine. He kind of gets his shoulder infront of me. I say "go ahead" to him.

As he puts his coins in a very nice lady pulls up in her car and hands me her ticket with a few hours left on it.

whois Tue 12-Aug-14 19:46:11

Wow there are some seriously funny/awful stories here!

Can't believe the cheek of some people.

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 19:52:01

You should have killed her for just saying "hubbies" LizLimone.

That, right there, is bad enough.

Smilesandpiles Tue 12-Aug-14 19:53:23

I know someone who royally took the piss with their childminder.

I used to do the school run with her so used to get all the gossip. grin

Everything from not even bothering to get the kids ready for school/nursery before dropping them off unwashed and unfed with dirty uniform (if any at all), being up to 5 hours late to pick them up, goats in the road being one excuse...goats, in the middle of Manchester city centre...yep...expected childminder to feed, entertain and look after kids with 10 minutes notice. Would drop kids off 2 hours early on a regular basis...nearly always 2 months late with payment..the list goes on. She did this with "friends" and the parents of the kids friends too..needless to say there were a lot of relieved people when they finally moved. Childminder ended up refusing to take the kids, reported her to social services and tried to take her to court (payment made by exh a couple of days the letter was sent).

This is the same woman who used to do the "Run for Life". Twice a year, not even doing it when the race is actually happening...not only did she collect money from it, she used it for a holiday to Mexico. Her own mother even reported her to the police for this and she STILL doesn't understand what she did wrong..when questioned if this rumour was true by the childminder, she not only just admitted it, but bloody BRAGGED about it and what a fuss everyone was making...

This woman not only has a brass neck but no morals to go with it...and this is the tip of the iceburg apparentely...I don't want to know anything else about her.

Smilesandpiles Tue 12-Aug-14 19:57:05

Oh and when I say drop the kids off early, I mean she would pull up in her car, kick the kids out and drive off. Not even seeing them to the door. I wouldn't have believed it if I and other neighbours hadn't seen it for ourselves.

Smilesandpiles Tue 12-Aug-14 19:57:22

Kids were about 3 and 6 at the time too.

Smilesandpiles Tue 12-Aug-14 19:59:29

Reading it back it all sounds so far fetched..honestly, it isn't. I swear, it's the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

AgesOfAquarius Tue 12-Aug-14 20:03:58

When my oldest child was at nursery I went to collect her and found that she was seriously ill, they should have called an ambulance for her. I rushed her to hospital myself and they sorted her out. She never went back to that nursery. I later got a letter threatening legal action because I hadn't paid the fees in lieu of notice.

pippibuzzmarten Tue 12-Aug-14 20:05:15

On an overnight bus in India, everyone getting on in dribs and drabs at the first stop- ticketing system was admittedly a bit confused - tickets were numbered but bunks weren't, and some people had been expecting they would be, others had tried counting bunks and taking the one they thought was right. But the end result was that there were enough bunks for everybody and everybody on the bus was okay with this, just went with the flow and got ready for the journey. Except one girl who went ABSOLUTELY SCREAMING MAD with anyone and everyone, demanding demanding demanding that she had a particular bunk. Furious entitled squawking at the driver, the bus conductors, other passengers, storming up and down the bus, with outbursts which were rapidly heading into racist territory. It was dreadful to watch, embarrassing and horrible. Several of us told her to get over herself and many of us apologised on her behalf to the driver etc. Never seen anything like the cheek of it.

Polyethyl Tue 12-Aug-14 20:09:50

We have a holiday cottage which we rent out, it has a Saturday change over, the cleaner has between 10am and 3pm to prepare the cottage for the next guests, which is a pretty standard set up for holiday lets. We have had to stop ever lending our cottage to friends in need of a holiday because again and again our hospitality was abused. Friends refusing to leave on time. Or leaving our cottage full of filth and rubbish and dirty nappies. Or letting their dogs lunge aggressively at the cleaner. Or whinging when we didn't let them dictate the dates of their free holiday but required them to fit in with the Saturday to Saturday timetable, instead of say Thursday till Tuesday (which would mean two weeks out of the letting calendar.)

The latest is my holiday in two weeks time. I've invited an old friend to accompany me, with whom I have often holidayed in the past. She now lives in the USA so I only see her once a year. She sent me an email saying "Tamara and I will drive to you" to which I replied "who is Tamara?" My friend has invited her 15 year old American adoptive step sister to my holiday, in my cottage with out asking me first. I'm gobsmacked at the brass neck. I 'll go along with it with gritted teeth as it is too late to do anything now as the girl has flown over, but I think less of my friend for the imposition. (With any luck the teenager might be charming - who knows!)

cleanasawhistle Tue 12-Aug-14 20:17:10

There was a boy who spent a lot of time at my house.
He was my DS best friend so he was company for him.
He was fed ,watered and taked out on a regular basis.
My son never set foot in his friends house.After about 3 years of this the mother offered to take my son out.When she came to pick him up she asked for the £5 entrance fee,
I gave it because my son would have been disappointed but I wasn't so accomadating after that.

Leela5 Tue 12-Aug-14 20:19:11

I got a Facebook message once from someone who wanted all her friends to help her, as she was struggling paying for the care of her six horses. She really didn't want to lose her horses and so had set up a fund for them and please could I contribute.

At the time I was working three jobs, whilst paying for my travel by train to uni with various hardship loans as my car had broken down and I couldn't afford the repairs. My mum was about to lose her house and my dad was bankrupt.

But still she wanted to know could I help her pay for her expensive animals that effectively were her hobby.

I love horses, but sadly I had to decline as it was more vital to me that I could buy food and prevent my mum becoming homeless.

CrapBag Tue 12-Aug-14 20:28:41

I have a few, mainly from the same person. Tame compared to most on here though!

A lent a baby item to a friend of mine, and it was lent. A while later when I knew her DS would have outgrown it I asked for it back. Turns out she's leant it to her cousin, no asking or apology. Several times i have said "oh has your cousin still got x" and I get a casual " oh yeah, I'll have to get that back"

My sister, incredibly self absorbed person. First one I get a call one day saying she has left some work in (sixth form) school and can I take her to get it. I don't live near her or the school but thought I would help out. Took me and hour to go a few miles because of the traffic. Turns out she couldn't be bothered to get the bus.

Another time she was at her friends when she phoned our grandad asking if he could pick her up and take her to work as she was going to be late. Turned out she didn't bother to leave early enough, phoned our dad who usually jumps when she wants something and he wasn't available so she got our grandad to do it.

Last year I told my DGPs that I would host Christmas this year for them as they have always had me then my family Christmas day. Then I realised my dad always comes too so I said he'll have to come to mine too, so sister (technically she is half sister and lives with her mum but dad always brings her Christmas day) pipes up " and me, I'm coming too" this is the person who doesn't look at my children, speak to them or acknowledge them in any way with a card or small present (despite me always buying for her over the years). I'm not too keen on hosting her tbh! Bumped into her when we were leaving our nans the other day and my children may as well not have even been there. Our nan has been ill and she didn't even have a card for her. Doesn't help that dad buys presents and just sticks her name on. I would never had been allowed to act like that.

CouncilOfLadies Tue 12-Aug-14 20:30:49

Sat in a pub garden minding my own business when some bloke holds out his hand towards me. He's holding the dog-end of a fag butt.

"Oi love, do me a favour and put this in the ashtray for me."

I looked at him like he'd just asked me to lick dog cack off his shoe and informed him there was a bin right behind him. He actually had the gall to look put out.

Something tells me that if I'd been a bloke he wouldn't have asked me. Cockwomble.

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 20:40:18

My best Brass Neck Stories would totally out me on here so I can't tell them to you all.

I do however derive a delicious pleasure by repeating them to people in RL... grin

MrsReiver Tue 12-Aug-14 20:42:41

Found out SIL and BIL had had their baby 6 hours after the infant had been born because a random mutual friend posted a congratulations message on her wall and it appeared in my Facebook news feed. This is DH's brother, he didn't bother to even just text him to let him know he had a new nephew.

The person who had a go at me for not returning a phone call despite knowing I had been in hospital having a miscarriage.

CeliaFate Tue 12-Aug-14 20:42:59

I've remembered another one.
Dh and I gave our nieces vouchers for Christmas one year (their request).
Dh gets a phone call from SIL to say one of the vouchers is torn and she's worried the shop won't accept it.
She makes him drive to her house, take the voucher to the shop to see if they would accept it, then drive back to her house to give them back.
I would have told her to take it herself, but dh is too soft.

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis Tue 12-Aug-14 20:43:11

My second childminder took the piss on many occasions. Ds was weaned and old enough for cows milk. One day he was extra hungry, so she gave him an extra cup of milk and a biscuit-which she charged me for. I would send him with home made meals-she decided it "didn't look nice" so gave him what her kids had-and charged me. Ds was ill, so I took day off, paid her for that, ok. Her dd was on the books for a model agency, she needed the day to go for her portfolio doing, orthodontic work for modelling,(she was 6) etc. I at this point was getting very angry as I saw my holidays vanishing. And yes she bleddy charged me.
A friend of mine was then going into cm, so I moved ds to him. (His best mates mum') first cm, screamed blue murder and threatened to report me to council and how was she going to afford to buy her new parrot? Dh went to pick him up on last day and gave her piece of his mind.

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 20:46:15

New parrot??

Will no-one think of the Psittacosis?

Ratbagcatbag Tue 12-Aug-14 20:52:05

I did one myself. Which was out on Christmas Eve, planning on walking two miles home but it was throwing it down. (Me, best mate and DH out). Anyway nipped and ordered chinese, had a drunken brain wave and asked if they delivered. Yes was there response so I asked if they could deliver my Chinese to my address but deliver us three as well. They said yes and we offered the driver about £10 (double taxi fare) he just wished us merry Christmas. grin

Worse. My mum won 4 x premiership season tickets. She had one, dbro had one, dbro best mate had one and my dm bil had another. She happiky let the others havr them. My mum used to have to get taxis and buses due to disability, but as you can imagine there were a queue of people who would happily take the tickets if one of the 4 users couldn't get. In return they would give my mum a lift saving her money. One week she asked if she could have her bil ticket as he was working. His response, yes, but I want £10 for it, it would cost them that anyway. Mum explained about it saving her money and he went nuts saying tough, no money, no ticket. Mum told them where to stick it, he then replied saying he'd sold the season ticket for £350 so now no tickets to have and wasn't it funny, theyd booked a much deserved holiday. Hmmmm I rang the club explained everything and my mum was still classed as having purchased four tickets so they cancelled bil season ticket and reissued my mum a new one. It was a pretty satisfying text to say hope your holiday doesn't cost too much because when whoever you sold it to turns up they will be told its cancelled and it will be confiscated.

CSIJanner Tue 12-Aug-14 20:52:47

I had a friend/ex-work colleague who aspired to be an h'actor. Only he couldn't afford it so wangled some free photocopying plus franked envelopes and sent everyone whom he knew a letter basically asking us to sponsor his worldwide talent, invest in his future and be repaid in his glory and memoirs. Only 85% of his friend group were penniless students who, like him, waited on tables to make needs meet. As far as I know, not one person took him up on his investment.

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 20:55:38

Ooh RatBag - awesome!

flanjabelle Tue 12-Aug-14 21:00:47

One of my neighbours asked me to write a cha

hollycomputer Tue 12-Aug-14 21:00:50

oldgrandmama Oh my god, shocking!

I'm honestly astounded by some of these stories.

I still remember a housemate at uni demanding to use my mobile phone and actually getting angry with me when I said no (early days for mobiles, phenomenal call charges). I've moved in before them and I remember lying in bed one night listening to them trying to open my door which I'd locked because they wanted to see all my stuff and see if there was anything worth 'borrrowing'.

flanjabelle Tue 12-Aug-14 21:05:57

Bloody phone.

One of my neighbours asked me to write a character statement for her to give to social services to say she was a great mum. She was having problems with her shit head ex who was trying to get custody.

All of this would be fine, but she smokes weed around her kid, has had violent fights with the ex in front of him and keeps her boy off of school whenever she feels like it. I have told her that the violence isn't on around her boy, so she knows that I don't think she is a great mum. I have also had to remove shit head ex from the building when he kicked off in front of the boy.

I told her no. I said I didn't agree with the above things and wasn't happy to lie to social services. She wasn't too pleased.

funnyface31 Tue 12-Aug-14 21:07:09

Just been to Asda for last minute holiday bits. The lady in front (age56, she said) asked the check out guy was he sad that he had red hair!
What the actual fuckety fuck!!!

She then went on to ask what colour hair his parents had and when he has children he might not have that gene! I was shock to say the least!!

I asked the guy if he knew the lady (old witch) and he didn't. He said he actually likes it, so good on him!

flanjabelle Tue 12-Aug-14 21:08:02

Oh I didn't make that very clear. Shit head ex is only ever an ex temporarily. She takes him back after a couple of weeks and it all starts again. She has told me she likes having him around because he always has weed. hmm

bdbfan Tue 12-Aug-14 21:16:37

This thread is hilarious, have nominated for classics smile

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 21:20:08


The tenner is in the post...

mum9876 Tue 12-Aug-14 21:20:24

I think my male flatmate who never did any cleaning or washing up.

He got really angry with me for washing up a kitchen load of pots and leaving them on the drying rack - without drying them up! After a brief pause I ended up chasing him out of the house that night.

We didn't have much kitchen equipment. So I bought a kind of saute pan to cook my evening meal in. One day I came home and it had a post it note on saying not to use this pan as he would be using it tonight.

Which reminds me of a female flatmate - I bought a clothes airer to dry my clothes on. Whenever I went to use it, her clothes were on it sopping wet. I took them off once and carefully laid them out in the airing cupboard, so they could dry. That made her livid. You just want to scream BUY YOUR OWN!

Fortunately I only have to share with dh and dc now. And they know the rules.

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 21:28:24

I wouldn't even have put the clothes in the airing cupboard.

I'd have dumped them on her bed and said "You do know this is my airer don't you?"

Actually, you've reminded me of another one.

Back when I was a student we had flat mate who used to sneak into my room and listen to my records on my stereo. Another flat mate caught her red handed when she knocked on my door to speak to me thinking it was me in there!

I'd forgotten all about that!! shock

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 21:28:52

It was nearly 36 years ago after all...

YouTheCat Tue 12-Aug-14 21:33:41

Actually, I had some pretty shitty flatmates a good few years ago (80s/90s). There were the ones who buggered off leaving me with a whole house worth of rent and bills to pay. Then one that didn't know how to clean a bath. hmm . And one who was dealing and got beaten up in our house.

One of the ones who left me with the bills was minging. She'd leave dishes for weeks with mould on them then complain that we made a mess. I'll bet she has a cleaner now and is probably a right twat to her.

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 21:39:28

Can't beat flat mates for Brass Neckedness - unless it's a neighbour using your Mexican house or patio or swimming pool! grin

unlucky83 Tue 12-Aug-14 21:42:04

Oh I have some more...
My DC's friend's parents don't have a car for 'environmental reasons'. Result is that me and other parents end up ferrying this child around....this has gone on for 5 yrs now - this now young teen's parents never ask or say thanks...their DC asks our DCs - and our DCs feel bad if we say no. Usually it is fine - we are going anyway etc - but if we are arranging lift shares etc it can be awkward...feel bad saying that there isn't room...but obviously the more children/car owning parents who lift share the less it is your turn....
They all go to one activity together -usually walk - but it finishes late, we take turns giving them lifts home - but we have a car full -so unless one is off sick etc we can't fit this child in.
This child is supposed to walk/catch a bus there and back with a young woman who is mid twenties. The young woman is socially inept - not sure if ASD. Her parents drive but they are older - one won't drive in the dark and the other (she says) is too old to be expected to go out so late confused. Instead she pressurises anyone there to give them both a lift home - even expecting people to drive a mile or so in the opposite direction to do so. When it was mine turn I used to put my extra seats up (7 seater) and give them a lift too - a bit of a hassle cos I usually had lots of rubbish in the boot etc but didn't mind too much...until it became expected - and I felt like she was taking the piss.
This young woman TOLD me I should always do the late pick up so they could have a lift home. She also complained when I wasn't doing both the to and return lifts to somewhere a bit further away - again she was counting on me to get them there and back hmm. Once I had an horrendous bad cold (flu?) - I saw her when picking my younger DC up earlier and said my DC wouldn't be going that evening cos it was only me who could pick up and I really wasn't well enough. The young woman said 'How are we supposed to get home then?' I have now become hardened and just say no/ignore - I won't put my seats up etc. Even so she will come and stand at the passenger door waiting...hmm
One week it was absolutely chucking down with rain and the young woman wasn't going. I took them along - including the child whose parents don't drive - I had room as one of the lift share children was going later...
When another parent turned up to take them home the child was expecting a lift back too - she was the first to jump in! But there wasn't enough room for them all (and this child must have realised that). Other parent felt bad - she couldn't let her make her way home alone, in the dark and rain - so said she'd make two trips. All the other children were offering to go on the second run and so have to wait in the rain - this child said nothing and stayed in her it was the parent had to tell her to get out and wait with her child and another as they all lived closer together.

mineofuselessinformation Tue 12-Aug-14 21:47:54

OW's mother spreading the rumour that I'd had an affair and that was why we'd split up.... (They now live together and he is XH). Said mother is supposedly a pillar of the church, but I happen to know she and MIL fell out over a 'man friend' (FIL had admittedly passed away at this point)...
Talk about covering your own indiscretions by throwing mud!!!

mineofuselessinformation Tue 12-Aug-14 21:49:08

Should add that the rumour was repeated to my DF by someone who had it direct from the mother...shock

CaptainRex Tue 12-Aug-14 21:52:47

I've been reminded of the flatmate, who moved his girlfriend in unofficially but didnt up their share of rent or bills to compensate. However what really got my goat was going to use my toothbrush in the morning only to discover it already wet from very recent use. It turned out his girlfriend had been using mine instead of bringing her own and didnt see what the problem was. She had also been making free with all my toiltries in the bathroom.

I used to go riding 10 minutes from my house, but a friend started coming to. I cant remember how it started but I ended up having to go the opposite direction to collect her (took longer to get to her house than the stables) and drop her afterwards, this went on for months without her ever offering any gratitude towards for this.

The abusive ex bf had some neck. He made me go to his parents house 2 hours away for the weekend whilst I had d&v from food poisoning, and then I got told off for not wanting to eat whilst I was there, apparently this was rude.

The same parents gulit tripped me and my now DH to go and see evil ex in hospital after he had his gall bladder removed, as he had no friends and it was all my fault.

Oh yes, this evil ex, when we eventually split up due to his behaviour, he stated he had been job hunting elsewhere in the country but had expected to stay in my bed with all the "extras" until he left me. Like that was ever going to happen

loveableshoulder Tue 12-Aug-14 21:53:37

When dd1 was 2.0 and dd2 only two weeks old, DSis came to stay with her 4 children - oldest was 12 and youngest only 4 months.

The morning after the first night they stayed I got up with both DDs, and dn12 got up with dn4 months. I was massively anaemic and bf so made myself beans on toast - ended up making it for the 3 eating kids too. Fine. It got to 9am and DSis not made an appearance. So I'm entertaining 5 kids. Then dn4 months monumentally poos all over DD2's rocket. Dn14 turns to me and says 'your turn'!!!

I march upstairs to wake DSis. She tells me she know what it is like as she had two two year apart (ten years earlier!) and that she worked full time so she needed the sleep more (she was on Mat leave!).

She doesn't know it, but she is never coming to stay again.

MerdeAlor Tue 12-Aug-14 21:55:52

When we were younger my DPs were friends with a couple who ended up getting divorced.
When the woman met another man and remarried, my DPs offered to look after her four kids for the week so they could go on honeymoon.
This was a pretty big favour, the kids ranged from troubled teen to four years old. They were traumatised, having watched their parents split very acrimoniously and her very quickly remarry.
So off they go after the wedding, a week passes and they don't come back to collect the kids. My DPs try the hotel they were staying at and the couple had checked out.
My DPs were frantic, not knowing what was happening and where they were. They appeared a week later saying they were having such a good time they didn't want to come home so booked into another hotel and stayed on an extra week. No apology, nothing. Needless to say the friendship ended there.
What made it worse was that the eldest DD has stranged my DS to unconsciousness one day in a fit of temper and totally traumatised my DS.

Kittymautz Tue 12-Aug-14 21:57:12

Many, many years ago I had a friend who really liked a drink. She was also so selfish and seemingly unaware of others' feelings, or just didn't care, we used to joke that she must be a psychopath.

At the kind if party where everyone brings a couple of bottles of wine or a six pack of beer etc, and leaves them in the kitchen for sharing, she was known to take bottles of wine from the kitchen and hide them, so she would have something to drink when the rest had run out. She often went home with the drink she brought, plus some more!

She, let's call her Tina, had a friend whose DP was a DJ who did weddings etc. Tina went along with her friend and the DJ guy to a christening that he was DJing at. Tina didnt know the people whose christening it was. Not only did she get caught once trying to steal 2 bottles of bubbly in her huge handbag, but she got caught red handed again 15 minutes later trying again!

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 22:00:31


How long ago was this Merde - their daughter strangled your son??

Did your parents not call the police when the couple didn't come back for their kids??

MerdeAlor Tue 12-Aug-14 22:02:59

Ive learnt through endless kind hearted gestures where people have taken the piss that the people who ask you for the most appreciate it the least.

Its terribly sad that so many posters good natures have been roundly abused.

MerdeAlor Tue 12-Aug-14 22:08:27

This didn't happen to me but a friend. He was driving locally and he saw the daughter of a friend standing by the side of the road, looking distraught. He stopped and she told him she had driven her car into a ditch.
He offered to help, got in the car and drove it out of the ditch. She was hugely relieved. He thought nothing more of it until he got arrested the following day. The woman had accused him of stealing and crashing her car. She only had third party fire and theft insurance and didn't have the money to pay to fix the damage to the car.
He is a sensitive, honest soul and was absolutely crushed that she would repay his kindness by accusing him of theft. Fortunately he didn't get prosecuted after her parents refused to believe her.

MerdeAlor Tue 12-Aug-14 22:09:47

Merde one of my parents was in a police officer, the other a childrens social worker <outs self> They just wanted to help her.

MerdeAlor Tue 12-Aug-14 22:10:47

Whoops that was meant to Salmo obvs blush

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 22:11:26

Well, as is often said on here - no good deed goes unpunished sad

unlucky83 Tue 12-Aug-14 22:12:10

Also like a PP I had a flat mate who topped my stoly (vodka) in the freezer up with water...realised what was happening cos it had frozen solid in the bottle! Flatmate apologised then did exactly the same with a bottle of 'special' vodka a friend had brought back from Russia for me!
And I had another flatmate who was a selfish arse for lots of reasons - and I discovered my toothbrush wet and recently used when came out the bathroom once [vom] -I told him next time I would clean the toilet with it and not tell him (and keep my real one in my room) .
And baby items - a friend very kindly lent me loads of baby items for DC2 - I already had things from DC1 - but she insisted and had fancier stuff than I did (eg a cot with adjustable base height etc) - I was grateful. She cleared out her storage cupboard...but as I finished with things she asked me if I could hang onto them - she didn't want to sell them (sentimental) but didn't have anywhere to put them hmm (there are 3 of them in a massive house - with 4-5 spare rooms, a cellar - but no garage (or attic as it was converted)) - DC2 is now nearly 8 and the stuff is still in my overflowing attic - have mentioned it a couple of times...I will be moving soon and need to clear it out ...might have to resort to leaving it all on her doorstep...

MerdeAlor Tue 12-Aug-14 22:12:42

Their daughter strangled my sister Salmo

twomoreminutes Tue 12-Aug-14 22:13:32

First day in my first ever job, a temp contract with a prestigious publishing house. I'm introduced to the senior editor and the first thing she says to me is 'Well my name is the same as yours and obviously we can't have two [name] in the same office so what's your middle name .. right, we'll just call you that instead' shock

I spend the whole of that contract confused as to when I was being addressed as she insisted on using my middle name both directly to me and when introducing me to other colleagues in different departments, whereas, the other staff I worked with ignored her and used my actual name.

I'm sure I left there with some kind of identity crisis ..

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 22:14:53

Ah! I see.

Awful - must have been a very troubled kid.


SaucyJack Tue 12-Aug-14 22:24:04

I stayed and babysat for her sake wobbly. Her H is an well established arse, and she'd only have got it in the neck if I'd gone.

Never did it again tho.

watchingthedetectives Tue 12-Aug-14 22:25:32

We had an Australian nanny who asked if her parents (elderly ex nun and priest but that's another story) could say for a few days when they arrived in London. We said fine but they set up camp and stayed over a month and we were too lily livered to kick them out as they were a bit decrepit - not so much as a bottle of wine bought as a thank you.

We should have learnt from this but then agreed her 17 year old sister could stay for a short while - all going well until the doorbell rings and several burly blokes in their late twenties are barging their way saying 'Helen' has invited them round for a party!

WienerDiva Tue 12-Aug-14 22:28:00

Some of these have had me completely shocked.

I've got a few but I'd absolutely out myself and get arse kicking (metaphorically speaking). I'll try and work out how to phrase a couple of them so no one thinks it's me.

But then again mine are boring in comparrison!

redrubyindigo Tue 12-Aug-14 22:35:46

This was twenty old years ago but it still grinds my gears. I had booked a holiday at work in January for a weeks holiday with DH and friends for May.

My Dh and our friends all had the holiday booked from January (five months in advance), hotel booked etc.

I got called in by my boss a WEEK before I was due to go on holiday with her 'demanding' I cancel because it was half term and my colleague needed that week to be with her children!

I was twenty five and childless and my colleague was 38 with three kids. Did she not know it was half term that week?

I actually lost the row and cancelled my holiday! I am still shock that I did it and shocked that I was asked to!

lilmissneurotic Tue 12-Aug-14 22:49:37

Mine was a couple I used to babysit for when I was about 17.

At that age I was quite in demand I was studying for a childcare HNC and was really good with difficult children or children with separation anxiety. I spent a long time getting her kids to trust me but finally they managed their first night out in 5 years and were really grateful. Paid me well and offered to take me to Florida with them to help with kids (she had 4 under 5.) Once they were settled though they started having more and more nights out and getting home later and later. I had them a whole weekend (friday night to sunday night) once while they went a family wedding- they paid me £40 and expected me to be grateful because I got to stay in such a lovely house!!

I was there one xmas eve and she called at 1am to say they had gone back to her sisters and wouldn't be too long but did I mind bringing down the toys in her room for the kids. I spent until 5am putting together a bloody toy kitchen and various bits. She staggered in at 5.30am with no money to pay me and no money for my taxi home(part of the deal as they lived 1 mile away) so I had to walk home.

They then phone me up at 7pm on new years eve to ask me to babysit (still hadn't paid me) but I had plans with my bf so had to say no but she was livid- screeching down the phone that I was unreliable- how could I do this to her and how teenagers today had no work ethic etc. She then said that as she had to find someone else and likely pay double I could forget the money she owed me and she would take someone else to Florida, I had burned my bridges.

The real kicker was 2 weeks later when she called and asked me to reimburse her for the cost of the name change- luckily my mum took that call and gave her what for. Even nearly 20 years later she still goes on about "so and so who never paid you that time."

Apologies if this is brass necked but marking place as I need sleep. Im up to "AnnaLegovahTue 12-Aug-14 16:26:38"

redrubyindigo Tue 12-Aug-14 22:51:54

A neighbour of mine used to use my tumble dryer to dry her baby's organic cloth nappies as she 'didn't want to abuse the environment having a tumble dryer of her own' hmm Never offered to pay for the electricity though.


I once worked for a company where parking crap to say the least. My boss gave me a parking permit which was great. A colleague who worked part time asked me if she could have it as 'her car was more expensive than mine!'

Lweji Tue 12-Aug-14 22:56:33

A former male friend asked me before Christmas if he could stay at my small one bed flat in London when he visited for a week (I think) between Christmas and New Year (or around New Year's Eve) - anyway, DS was due on the 7th of January (!), so he could have been born at any time during December, plus I had a huge bump and felt usually tired. So, I politely said I couldn't have him there at that particular time.

Apparently he was upset, as he later told my mother. Oh, the shame.

Jelliebabe2 Tue 12-Aug-14 23:02:49

This thread has had me howling and cringing aaaaaalllll day! Will done OP!

mindthegap79 Tue 12-Aug-14 23:11:38

At uni I had a most unpleasant pair of housemates (the rest were nice).

One of them (went to Harrow School, called himself'Bruv') asked to borrow my alarm clock one morning. I said sorry, but no, as I needed it to wake me at 7 (long before mobile phone alarms). He pondered this for a moment (as the cogs of his not too speedy brain thudded around), before saying (honestly, word for word) "You's gettin' up at 7. I's gettin' up at 5 for a flight. Therefore my need is greater, so the alarm clock is mine." I still said no, and the cheeky git waited till I was asleep before sneaking into my room and taking it anyway, causing me to over sleep.

As he was waiting for me to fall asleep, he ate a load of other people's food (he never, ever bought food) and left messy plates/cups/packaging all over the lounge. We put it in his immaculate bedroom for him to sort out after his weekend away. He was furious about this upon his return, as apparently we'd been disrespectful.

It was years ago and it still pisses me off. What. A. Twat.

redrubyindigo Tue 12-Aug-14 23:13:29

My 'friend' used to ask bully friends to host Body Shop parties.

I agreed to host one to sell the overpriced- shit high quality goods and she expected me to deliver the orders she got!

trixymalixy Tue 12-Aug-14 23:22:21

Not me but my sister and her friend were asked by another friend to hire a van for him and drive him and his stuff back down to London after Uni as he doesn't drive. For some reason they agreed thinking a trip to London might be fun. They helped him load up his stuff and drove down arriving in London at about midnight at his parent's multi million pound townhouse.

After helping carry all his stuff in he basically says "nice knowing you" and shuts the door in their face. The twat left two young female skint students in the street after midnight in London.

They slept in the van and then drive home paying for the petrol for the way back. Funnily enough they never spoke to him again!!

ElizaCBennett Tue 12-Aug-14 23:25:08

A friend of a friend was looking at her neighbour's daughter's wedding photos when she noticed that the ones of the bride and her parents taken before the wedding were taken in HER garden. She was at the church waiting for the ceremony to begin. Apparently her garden was nicer than theirs!!

ADinnerofHerbs Tue 12-Aug-14 23:43:02

An ex friend dropped hints she wanted to be a bridesmaid and then godmother and I gave in on both occasions and asked her. A few years later she got married and did not even invite us to her wedding and wondered why I was a bit upset! Another friend had a husband who was very environmentalky friendly and did not approve of my daughter's disposable nappies. One visit, I had the nightmare of her doing an exploding nappy while there and once I had wrapped it in a nappy bag, my friend passed ut to her husband to go and put in the dustbin. Or so she thought! On arriving home, I discovered that he had deposited it in my new leather bag that I had left in their hallway!! Two bottles of febreze later, the smell was still there!

BOFster Tue 12-Aug-14 23:44:34

DP has just related a story he remembers Bob Dylan telling about a cheeky fucker of a neighbour he thought he'd got wise to: "Will you be using your golf clubs this afternoon?" asks the neighbour. "Yes actually, I will be", replies Dylan. "Great, so you won't mind if I borrow your lawnmower!" grin

What is it about the working from home/constantly available childcare paradigm? I've got two corking recent examples of flamin' cheek:

1) Family member informs me by Facebook message that she has, "on impulse", booked a week away for her and her DH during the first week of the summer holidays, and would DS and I move into their house for that week to look after the DCs? If I can't, they can stay with their grandparents, but they'd really rather not.

I respond that that's just a normal working week for me, and although I'd be happy to have the kids for the weekend bit, it very much looks like they'll be staying with their grandparents.

2) DB's GF of 6 months has decided to move to our town to be closer to my DB (currently lives about 50 mins away). Has acquired new house & job and new school for her DS (12). Said school happens to be ten mins' walk from my house. New job turns out to involve three late nights a week, so she won't be back until 8 or 9. Is it OK if her DS makes his way to my house after school (which finishes at 2.30, for heaven's sake!) three afternoons a week and waits there until she can collect him? He definitely won't disturb me and he's not fussy, so he'll eat whatever I give him for dinner. And of course, she'll pay me.

I respond that although I would be happy for her to put me down as an emergency contact with the school, that arrangement doesn't work for me (thanks, MN!).

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 23:55:03

Totally irrelevant but... Bob Dylan plays golf????

Salmotrutta Tue 12-Aug-14 23:55:48

Are you sure it wasn't Alice Cooper?


<head tilt>

BOFster Tue 12-Aug-14 23:56:10


unlucky83 Tue 12-Aug-14 23:57:38

Ohh I've got another one...when I was late 20s and a mature student I joined a childcare/babysitting agency. I did a first aid for children course, got disclosed etc and was working with primary aged children. I'd just been accepted on the books when I got my first and only job - a call at 8 am - could I go and look after a 4 yo from 9am - 1pm? The woman had been let down by her normal childcare, she was desperate. I phoned the mother to say I was coming and she said she needed to get her older DC to 8.40am would be best. It was a 30 min drive away and I had to find it so I said I would do my best. I got there just before 8.45 - she stroppily told me I was too late - she'd got someone else to take her DC to school. She showed me a snack for the DC, suntan lotion etc and left at 9am. She hadn't shown me any toys or tea/coffee for me. Anyway I got on fine - DC spent some time outside and then we did some drawing/painting.
Mother returned at 1.15pm. I told her what we been up to etc - she then asked me what my qualifications were hmm - said ahh you only get the baby sitting rate (£1.50 an hour less than I was expecting). So from 9am to 1pm (what ??? 8.45am to by then 1.25pm!!!) so that will be (eg) £11.50 - she only had £12 -did I have the 50p change? She stood there while I coppered up to give her all the change I had - 46p! She seemed to think I should give her a £1 back but no bloody way!
I never worked for that agency again - I was so angry! What I got paid hardly covered my petrol...I should have been more assertive -but they should have told me the rate of pay properly before so I could stick to my guns and also whether I should charge for time she was showing me where things were etc (and I think she tried to pay them a lower fee too!!!!)

ghostsinsnow Wed 13-Aug-14 00:07:03

A woman I know is one of these 'pushy stage mum' types. She has two daughters, both if whom have been pushed to sing and dance from a young age.
The eldest is just about to start stage school only the mum doesn't have the cash to find the glittering lifestyle she likes to portray so, her solution to this £3k a term problem is to host an evening of song and dance.
She's hired a venue and for a £10 fee you can come and watch her pfb prance about. From what I can see on Facebook the only takers thus far are a few odd family members who really have no choice.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Wed 13-Aug-14 00:08:24

I was manning a sports facility (voluntary job, strictly limited to taking subs and hiring kit) when two teenage spectators let off a firework. I asked them leave and they did.

15 minutes later, their mum comes in and starts screaming blue murder. Apparently we were a creche for her enormous thugs and what did she pay her fees for? And how dare I raise an eyebrow at her? She'll have me sacked, she'll report me for child neglect, her husband is a goes on and on and on.

So I nodded a bit, as you do. The kids had come back, looking as if they wanted the earth to swallow them. When she wound down, I leaned forward and sniffed. "Get a taxi home, madam. Get some help. Now, would you mind fucking somewhere that's off? Thank you".

Boomerwang Wed 13-Aug-14 00:10:24

Not even a quarter of the way down, but I've nominated this for classics!

cardamomginger Wed 13-Aug-14 00:23:09

I had a friend who had 6 kids aged from 10 to user a year. She wanted to go away for a week with her DH, minus the kids. She had found someone to look after the baby, but wanted me took after the rest of them. This would have involved me moving into her house and taking a week's annual leave so I could attend to her kids. She was both astonishedad upset when I said I wasn't going to do it.

cardamomginger Wed 13-Aug-14 00:23:47

Under a year, not user..

lavenderhoney Wed 13-Aug-14 00:27:26

Travelling alone with small dc, one a baby desperate to bf, v busy and important bloke on suit shoved in front of me at the virgin checkin " I'm in a hurry, don't mind do you?"

Virgin checkin girl drops my passports and smiles at self important fuckwit.

Clearly he was saving the world. I didn't say anything as the dc were there and also I was busy congratulating myself I wasn't married to him. And yes, he did checkin whilst on his mobile. Idiot.

Woman on plane takes one look at me sitting behind her with said children and called for the steward to complain about the children as she had a v important meeting and planned to sleep on the flight to be " fresh" steward looks bemused as my dc are a) practically asleep b) clearly no trouble . He didn't move her to upper class as she wanted. She told him she would report him to his superiors for bad customer service!!!

Salmotrutta Wed 13-Aug-14 00:31:02

This has been me all day at these stories:

shockshockgrinangryblush ... and envy (eeeww) at the toothbrush rustlers.

NutellaLawson Wed 13-Aug-14 00:51:53

At uni halls of residence we had a laundry room with washers and tumble dryers that took tokens you bought from the accommodations officer.

I was sitting in the laundry room with my clothes going round and round in the dryer, using my £2.50 worth of token when a lad walks in, opens the door to the dryer, removes my washing and dumps it on the floor to put his in (to use the rest of my bought time).

I looked at him over my book and he asked me if I could keep an eye on his stuff in the dryer while he was away. He clearly thought I like to just hang out in the laundry room.

I'm not known for being assertive but I blinked at him and said: that stuff in the dryer was mine. I'd say you owe me a token.

He didn't pay up but he did mumble 'sorry' and put my stuff back into the dryer.

M00nUnit Wed 13-Aug-14 00:56:25

Can I just say... This is the best thread on the internet. Possibly ever.
Very good.. carry on!

ADinnerofHerbs Wed 13-Aug-14 01:05:50

Brassneckedness as a blast from the past! My Mum did a Tupperware party in the 1970's and a lady arrived and put her old anorak over a chair in the kitchen. We all went in the sitting room. Her dog was currently in season and our randy old sheepdog was thus attracted to her coat and chewed a big hole in it while romping on it. My Mum was mortified when she found it and immediately offered to buy another anorak for the lady. She said she could not wait until the morning and demanded to choose one of my Mum's coats. She picked a cashmere coat worth ten times the price of the anorak and walked out in a really good mood, saying she had had a lovely time. Whenever we see a photo of our old dog, someone brings up this memory!

User100 Wed 13-Aug-14 01:14:37

I was waiting in an airport for a family holiday when I was a kid (teenager). It was busy with few seats, but there was an empty seat next to a businessman who was stood up talking enthusiastically with his colleague. I slid past him and sat down in the empty seat so as to not disturbe him to which he breaks of his conversation mid sentence and says "excuse me that's my seat" (it was empty and he was happily standing). I turned to the next seat which was piled high with his things (laptop case, briefcase etc.) and asked "oh, is anyone sitting there". So as not to lose face he then moves his things into the floor but insists on me moving, keeping an empty seat for him to stand next to.

tothesea Wed 13-Aug-14 01:19:48

Some of these are do people get to be like this??
Here's mine....years ago when I was flat sharing my flatmates friend came to stay for a few nights. I knew her as well, so it was fine...until!!! one morning I went into the bathroom and she had left a recently removed tampon in the bathroom bin. It was an open bin, quite clearly not for leaving such things.. now it was all smeared with her period blood...eeewwwoooh. When I pulled her up about it she was unphased..'Oh well at home the maid deals with it'
Well lady there aint no freaking maid here...get rid of it!!!

fluffymouse Wed 13-Aug-14 01:30:25

Aged 16, back from boarding school for a week, so called best friend made excuses not to see me all week.

She then turned up randomly at 11pm one night with a boy/man I had never met, asking for him to stay over 'as her parents would get angry if they found he was staying at hers'. Well I'm not an effing b&b, and I'm sure my parents wouldn't be pleased either.

At least I did say no. I came to my senses a few years later and ended the friendship and am so happy I did.

wotoodoo Wed 13-Aug-14 01:55:28

Gawd have so many...

SIL was 'writing a book', wanted to go to Cannes to 'see actors who would be starring when her book was turned into a film', got her grandmother's credit card and lived out her fantasy through it.

Got Grandmother to 1. move out of her room 2. Sell her apartment in order for sil to buy herself a house thus 'relieving' her own mother of any inheritance.

Sil wearing Grandmother's diamond jewellery while Grandmother asked for it back, saying, 'No! remember your will Grandmother? You are leaving it all to me. I might as well wear it now. You've forgotten you've given it to me'.

I was gobsmacked.

Car sharing (school run) for many years, only the mother of one girl started collecting later and later. In the end we were feeding her dinner 5 times a week. Then when I wanted to go out in the evening, found I could not as parent had not collected! (And no, I am not a CM).

Finally got fed up and told the mum I wanted her to pick up at 3:30pm and she gave me the sob story that her dp didn't want to do the school run any more as he was too lazy to but as I hadn't minded before, please could I continue?

WTF?! I had let it go on for years because this girl was in dd's class. I stopped it there and then. They had never even said thank you once.

Gemling Wed 13-Aug-14 02:31:18

(This shows me up as the lily livered, spineless wuss I am). SIL and I planned to take her young ds to the cinema. I drove to their house (35 minutes away) picked them up, went to town (20 mins) and paid to park. Decided to have a quick lunch before, I paid for all of us. Queued for the cinema tickets, just as we were to be served SIL decided to take ds to the toilet, leaving me to pay for the tickets. After the film we stopped for coffee before heading home, the coffees came with the bill. SIL picked up the bill, said she'd go up and pay for it but my share was X amount. Drove them home steaming. Probably more mad at myself for being so pathetic.

wotoodoo Wed 13-Aug-14 03:20:01

Friend lived in Japan and had bought a newly built, unfurnished apartment in the Canary wharf part of London (1990s). He signed up to a rental agency but was told three months later that there wasn't much demand for it and the agent had always 'nearly' rented it out for some thing to come up and for the rental to fall through.

There wasn't a lot my friend could do about it as he lived abroad but the agency seemed respectable enough and would give him regular updates about the situation.

A year later Friend then had to go back to London unexpectedly for a funeral so decided to spend the night in his own flat in a sleeping bag since it had yet to be let, only to find when he opened the front door that the flat was fully furnished and there was a family living there!

The people had been paying a large sum of money plus deposit to the crooks/ agent to stay there. The agency actually feigned innocence.

Last year I met a plumber who told me he used to work for an estate agency in London who did this regularly in the 1990s and now it was a multi millionaire property agency.

WallyBantersJunkBox Wed 13-Aug-14 03:40:47

Oh please tell me it was Foxtons????


sunflower49 Wed 13-Aug-14 04:28:49

This thread is amazing!

I only have small one to add.

I have a colleague who regularly, totally, expects lifts to work as we work together and she doesn't drive never has, but never ever offers any £ . She lives across town from me and expects me to go in the opposite direction to collect her, wait for her to get ready deeming us both late, then pass my house on the way to work. I work with another mutual friend who offers every single time. I have never once taken it and friend 1 has witnessed this-It's the entitlement I can't stand. Once she had asked for a lift via a (different) mutual friend and I said no, unless she's going to give me some £ for it. I was reiterated that she said 'That's well tight!Sunflower's going that way anyway! The thing that bothers me most is, I am yes!But not to your end of town and even though I am, It's nice when somebody does you a favour and I can't stand bad manners.

One time home from work, my car was in the garage (we work late until early morning) and so I reluctantly agreed to taxi share with her. I predicted what would happen and I was right. She 'fell asleep' on the way back after insisting we drop her first, stumbled out of the car at her destination (a mile or so from mine). I , trying to save £, got out there and walked the rest. I never gave up on getting the half of the fare back from her (£15 ish). I'm generally a generous person and will put my hand in my pocket for anybody I like who deserves it, but not those who think I should!If I had more a 'brass neck' myself, I would have found an excuse reason to be dropped off first-said my purse was at home or something :grin:

She annoys me generally as she claims benefits even though she works cash in hand at another job and generally sponges off people she knows.

The thing about the poodle made me upset. Poor dog, and poor people. Hope s/he found a nice home.

toriap2 Wed 13-Aug-14 06:30:33

I had friend when I was newly married who liked to go out and party when our husbands were away (army). One day I got asked if I could babysit for her friends 3 kids as they wanted to go out to the local. Thinking it would only be a couple of hours I agreed and duly turned up. It got later and later and still no show but I wasn't that fussed until her husband phoned at 2 asking to speak to her. He seemed a bit upset to find she was still out and a strange woman (to him) looking after his kids.

I eventually fell asleep on the sofa about 4 and was woken at 6 by the kids stirring. Their mum still want home and by now I was really worried. The youngest was only 2 and had never seen me before. I fed them breakfast while desperately phoning my friend to find out what had happened. At 9 I decided to get the kids dressed and go round to my friends flat to see if she was there. Got there and my friend and the kids mum were there, fast asleep with two male friends they had picked up. The mother then asked me if I would watch the kids for the rest of the day so she could recover. I declined.

mrsnec Wed 13-Aug-14 07:01:11

Years ago I had a friend who I let stay with me rent free for a few months. She didn't contribute to anything. I had a free holiday from work. I took her with me and let her choose the destination and the hotel. On the way back from the airport she asked me for petrol money. I declined. She moved out and I never saw her again.

An old boss won a competition. Then asked me to negotiate a better prize for her. I managed it but I thought it was very cheeky but she did treat me for doing it.I had told her the answer to the question in the first place.

Did a thread about this at the time and it still winds me up. Dsb got a new partner.I'd never met her or her son. Her son was on holiday here and I was told he'd got in trouble and we needed to rescue him and look after him while she sorted getting him home. Turned out he was bored of his friends and ran out of money and she wanted a break from her kids. They did take us out for dinner a year later but I have no contact with her and she even rejected my friend request on fb. Petty I know but that was me trying to make an effort with her.

KERALA1 Wed 13-Aug-14 07:08:15

A friend of my parents was prosecuted for having underage sex with a pupil (he an unattractive senior teacher late 40s she was in lower 6th). This was obviously awful and devastating for the girl and his nice wife and kids. My sister and I were about the age as the girl at the time. He wrote a letter to my dad saying he hoped this wouldn't affect their friendship....

TraceyTrickster Wed 13-Aug-14 07:19:51

A friend had been on a working holiday for a year in Australia...came back to UK to nothing, so asked if she could stay while she sorted herself out.

She stayed 2 months, contributing nothing- not even food- as she was broke after her trip to Aus. She moved out during the day while I was at work. When my phone bill arrived I realised she had been phoning family for hours every day and left me with a bill of about 600quid. She left no forwarding details.

I did not see her again, until she persuaded a mutual friend to invite her as their 'plus one' to our wedding.

Dinnaeknowshitfromclay Wed 13-Aug-14 07:24:21

My (now NC) sister asked if I would have her DD as a bridesmaid and I said no because I didn't want any BMs (too low key a wedding for it) and she brought her daughter dressed as a BM anyway in my least favourite colour and during the photos pushed the kid forward constantly to be at my side. In the grand scheme of things this is one of my XSisters lesser crimes but the one that sticks in the mind most.

Leela5 Wed 13-Aug-14 07:27:35

A friend of mine asked me if I would help her move as I had a car. The town she lived in was an hour away and she was moving back to my town.

I arranged a day/time and also arranged to go to the cinema later that night with a friend as I knew how long it would take to put boxes in car and drive her home and that I could make cinema too.

Arrived at her house to find a) I couldn't park anywhere near the house and b) she hadn't actually packed yet. Her stuff was all over the floor, all over the house. Spent the next two hours helping her to shove stuff in boxes and carrying heavy boxes down road to my car. Then drove the hour back to town.

She hadn't arranged for her new room to be ready at other end and hadn't arranged for anyone to be there to help lift the boxes. So again I was expected to carry them all in for her, plus wait for someone to come and open the room.

I'm afraid I unloaded the boxes outside and left, as I was now two hours late to meet my friend for the cinema. I don't think she she actually gave me any petrol money either!

RedorBlack Wed 13-Aug-14 07:32:34

Wracking my brain to find one to add (there must be one) but LOVING this thread & reported for classics smile

Leela5 Wed 13-Aug-14 07:42:30

My flatmate's brother came to stay one night, bringing with him some friends. My flatmate stayed with her boyfriend so her bro could have her room and the others were in the hall on a mattress.

Middle of the night I'm woken by loud moans - they were having sex in hallway. It was very loud and she was shouting his name (which happened also to be my boyfriends name).

It went quiet eventually and I had to go to bathroom. I had to step OVER two naked sleeping people to get there.

Next morning not only did they use all the milk up, but also my other flat mates had thought it was ME having sex and shouting my boyfriend's name!

BoffinMum Wed 13-Aug-14 07:48:55

I did one recently. I hold keys to my neighbours' house and they were away. Our corkscrew broke so I went to borrow theirs, meaning to put it back before they came home. Only they came earlier than I was expecting, and were baffled by the fact it was missing. Big search round the whole house for it. Next time they went away, they were having some work done and I asked a relative of theirs if I could put some stuff in their skip. He said it was OK, but actually for various sensible reasons it was not. They politely took the bags out and left them near their bins on bin day. I am now feeling like such a rubbish neighbour I might take some garden flowers across later for them. wink

mrsnec Wed 13-Aug-14 07:49:20

Just thought of another one.

DF Has a significant birthday this year. We treated him to a weekend away, my siblings clubbed together for theatre tokens but one of them decided that t wasn't enough. They want to take him to the rugby at Twickenham too. And perhaps the sons and partners would like to go too. They emailed me asking for something towards everyone else's tickets not even inviting dh and the exact words were 'we will reserve judgement at how much or little you care to contribute'

GerbilsAteMyCat Wed 13-Aug-14 08:28:40

Friend of mine bought a new house, moved into it and then was preparing their old house for sale. They had 3 cats and never cleaned so the old house was filthy. Their vacuum cleaner had broken so they asked to borrow ours. We agreed but said we expected them to look after it and to take it to the new house in the evenings when they had finished for the day in case the old house got broken into.
They agreed. We also loaned them some stuff to 'dress' the house as a lot of their belongings had gone into the new house. I know this sounds a bit PFV but it was a Dyson that was a wedding present and one of the most expensive thibgs we owned.
A week later they let slip that they hadn't been looking after the vacuum so I asked for it back. We have to go around to the old house to collect it and they ask Dh to clean their bedroom floor which has 3 years of human hair and cat fur on it. It takes him over an hour to vacuum up. We leave.
A week later the friend arrives at my house and calls me out to her car. She has brought her new vacuum cleaner around in the boot of her car. She tells me it is so much better than mine and picked up loads of cat fur that mine missed. I am bemused. We never get back the stuff we loaned them for the house. When we go around to feed their cats one time when they're away we find the stuff in their new house. One of the throws in now in their cat's basket.
When they were house hunting she told me she was looking for a house like mine but 'bigger and nicer'.
We are no longer friends with them.

GerbilsAteMyCat Wed 13-Aug-14 08:33:40

She also asked to borrow my upholstery cleaner after describing to me in great detail how she and her husband had been sick and vommed all over their house.
I said no, knowing that if I did, she wouldn't clean it out and I would end up with a cleaner filled with someone else's vom bits.
They also left a brabantia bin full of vomit in their garden for months because neither of them could agree on who had to clean it out. Bizarre.

Redhead11 Wed 13-Aug-14 09:54:43

I had to sell the family home as there was no way i could afford to stay in it as XH had walked out. My friend across the road was trying to sell her house at the time, with no luck. She suggested that i allow her to live in my house - rent free, mind you! - until such times as her house sold and then she would give me 100K less than the asking price. For some reason, she took it badly when i refused. almost 5 years on, she is still in the same house, which she finally took off the market as it wouldn't sell, and i sold mine for just under the asking price.

At work several months ago, (a concession within a large garden centre) i had gone into the restaurant to get some lunch. Tarty female, mutton dressed as lamb, was in front of me with large teens and scary husband. she wanted macaroni, but not the perfectly fine final portion that was there. she wanted fresh. the girl behind the counter she said that fresh macaroni would be about 5 minutes, but this was fresh. The place was heaving and the macaroni sells like hot cakes every day. This woman then demanded that the server go and get the fresh mac and when she said she wasn't allowed to do that as there was nobody else serving at that point, the woman went nuts. She humiliated the server very loudly, drawing everyone's attention to the scene. the temporary restaurant manager came over and she ended up with fresh mac, a discount on all 4 meals, free soft drinks/coffee and the manager doing a Uriah Heap impression all through their meal, making sure that everything was fine. the woman visibly preened and then announced to all and sundry that you had to know how to deal with 'these people' and that she had never had to pay full price for anything because she knew how to make a fuss. I had not been wearing my uniform at the time, i would have called her out.

StUmbrageinSkelt Wed 13-Aug-14 09:56:58

My DSD emailed my DH to say she was going to be in our city for work and had a suite at a hotel in mind. So that he could come and stay with her for a few days in a fancy hotel.

She was quite clear she did not want to see me (which is fine by me) but she also was very clear she didn't want to see her brothers who adore her.

So she really thought I was going to spend 5 days alone with our sons and their high care needs trying to explain why Daddy gets to stay with her in a hotel and she doesn't see them at all?

I booked a week in another city so she had to come and stay in our house if she wanted to see Daddy dearest. DH agreed it was the best solution.

Redhead11 Wed 13-Aug-14 09:59:06

My brother asked me to move a car for him from the mechanic to his place. He had bought this vehicle at auction. I did it (i was a mug for most of my life regarding him and his needs) and when i arrived at the mechanics, i found the inside of the car was covered in mould. Cranking the window open (the driver's seat was the only ok bit of the car) i set off for his home. As a police car drove past the other way, i realised this bloody car was not taxed! When i yelled at DB for that, he just shrugged it off. After all, it wasn't him who would have been charged.

meddie Wed 13-Aug-14 10:13:35

had splashed out on a new baby steam steriliser (1988) it cost £30 which was not cheap at the time. When my son was 7 months old, friend had just given birth and asked could she borrow it for her new baby. I agreed as I wasnt using it as much but had also just found out I was pregnant with my second so told her I would need it back for my new baby.
Baby arrives and I had been asking friend for steriliser back but she was non commital and vague. Finally find out she had sold it.

Greyhound Wed 13-Aug-14 10:15:57

Worked for a guy who had the most god awful sponge of a boyfriend.

The boyfriend was a rich architect but liked to save money by getting to do piles of photocopying for him.

Somehow, he ended getting me (muggins) here to organise a surprise birthday party for my boss. This took place at a very expensive restaurant in London.

At the end, not only did I have to pay for myself (naively assumed he would as I had organised the whole thing and worked for a pittance as a lowly secretary) but he asked me to "chip in" for the boss's meal!

My boss was terribly embarrassed and insisting on paying my meal and my contribution to his.

He dumped the greedy twat, thank goodness.

Greyhound Wed 13-Aug-14 10:17:52

Getting me

Salmotrutta Wed 13-Aug-14 10:20:32

Can I say that it's entirely possible that some of you may just need to practise saying "No" a bit more? wink

And Cashmere Coat Lady!! shock

wotoodoo Wed 13-Aug-14 10:28:21

Dc desperatey wanted gps over for christmas. For many years I offered to have dgrandparents over and offered to do everything so they wouldn't have to contribute any time or money, all we wanted was for them to visit.

After many years of refusing because they preferred to go on a christmas cruise (normally they go on a cruise twice a year) one year they finally they agreed to come. We spent a lot of time just making sure all the preparations were done and food ordered, we were all so excited for the dc to have their gps there on such an important family day as christmas!

Only for gps to phone us saying they had managed to get a late deal on a christmas cruise and that in all honesty our en suite guest room and christmas meal would not be as high a standard as what they would get on a cruise and so they would not be coming after all.

Salmotrutta Wed 13-Aug-14 10:30:01


MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig Wed 13-Aug-14 11:13:02

I am loving this thread. Thanks op. smile

Salmotrutta Wed 13-Aug-14 11:18:28


gordyslovesheep Wed 13-Aug-14 11:46:17

my ex husband ... decided we were getting back together (after leaving me for the OW) - walked into the house builders office (I was buying a new build) and told them to stop the sale and said 'we' were now buying a 4 bed - they phoned me to confirm

then when he decided to tell me we were getting back together I suggested he finish with the OW first ...he said no because if it didn't work out with me he'd end up 'on his own' - I told him to fuck off ...

AverageMom Wed 13-Aug-14 11:51:19

My "friend" came round for a little do we were having, moaned about the food (buffet) and then asked if I would prepare a plate for her to take home for her daughter's packed lunch for the trip she had the next day. Also, did I have a can of Coke as that was her daughter's favourite?

YouTheCat Wed 13-Aug-14 11:52:47

Bloody hell, Gordy! And you passed up the chance to get back with him? grin He sounds a catch.

Salmotrutta Wed 13-Aug-14 11:53:51

Yes gordy - what were you thinking letting him slip through your fingers like that... wink

BreakingDad77 Wed 13-Aug-14 12:05:42

Just remembered another from the wedding - it just seems to bring the brassneck out of people.

So there is some random half cousin on FIL side that DW has never met and they phone up MIL and say that DW aunt cant come (before she has even phoned or RSVP) and that she wants to come instead, and she also needs to bring her daughter!

They did come as we had drop outs, though since this she is going to get married and FIL is quite vocally boycotting as they have only had evening invite.

colleysmill Wed 13-Aug-14 12:07:52

My ex was a brass necker of the highest order. There are so many instances but this one always sticks in my mind.

Ex called me one Friday night, clearly inebriated, demanding that I go to the cash point and drive into town to met him in order for me to lend him "50 quid but 25 would do" because he'd seen a friends sister head in to a night club with some chap who was "undesirable" and he absolutely had to go in too to keep an eye on her but he'd run out of money (as per usual)

I very scarastically told him that whilst I would love to help:

A - it was 12.30 am and I was in bed
b - he was my ex of approx 4 weeks and actually I didn't have to do anything for him
c - given he already owed me money I wasn't about to lend him anymore
d - even if I had any desire to help him in this terrible situation (i didnt) he should have remembered the date as I was actually 100 miles away on a trip arranged months before and couldn't help even if I had wanted to.

There was a silence and then he uttered the immortal words "well colleysmill you've just made an awful situation even more untenable!" And hung up on me.

Needless to say it turned out only part of the story was true except he omitted to tell me the friends sister had previously turned his advances and actually he was following her round town trying to chat her up. So not quite the emergency he claimed.

Salmotrutta Wed 13-Aug-14 12:12:23

he uttered the immortal words "well colleysmill you've just made an awful situation even more untenable!"


I'm soooo going to use that sometime!

...without the "colleysmill" obviously!

AmyMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 13-Aug-14 12:17:20

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your nominations, we've now moved this to classics.

Unfortunately I am far too identifiable, otherwise I'd have a few corkers to add to the thread <sits on hands>.

colleysmill Wed 13-Aug-14 12:17:28

grin it's funny now but by heck I was fuming at the time! The cheek of that manchild was unbelievable

LadyEnglefield Wed 13-Aug-14 12:18:59

Many years ago I worked as an events and conference co-ordinator for a large company. During the recession this was one area where there were cutbacks and I was made redundant.

As I was single at the time with a mortgage to support I needed to find a new job very quickly. I saw a fantastic job in the trade press which would have meant promotion.

I spent ages working on my CV and showed it my boss (who wasn't being made redundant) for her input.

A few days later I found out that not only had she decided to apply for the job but that she had copied my CV virtually word for word. Obviously she had more experience as the role was similar to the one she was doing.

Felt really betrayed as I thought that she was a friend as well as my boss.

Turns out that there is a god as neither of us got the job.

Salmotrutta Wed 13-Aug-14 12:22:46

<jumps up and down with excitement at being in classics>

G'wan AmyMumsnet - you know you want to tell us...

StackladysMorphicResonator Wed 13-Aug-14 12:26:42

Some of these are just astonishing - and what is most astonishing about it is that the poster lets the perpetrator get away with it! Some of you must be terrible doormats...

MehsMum Wed 13-Aug-14 12:39:54

Oooh, SIL immortalised in Classics forever!

Stacklady, the brass-neckers get away with it the first time (or even the first few times) because they manage to make their behaviour seem normal, while the 'doormat' thinks, 'Surely this is not right?', but, being a nice person, gives Brass the benefit of the doubt (having a bad day... I must have taken that the wrong way...maybe that's just how that family works...). Sometimes Doormat has to put up with it to keep the peace with the in-laws. Or whatever.

Then Brass is deeply shocked when Doormat jumps up and bites. And Doormat looks back on the incident with unconstrained glee for YEARS!

Congrats on starting a great thread, salmotrutta. It's been so nice to know what good company I'm in!

cleanasawhistle Wed 13-Aug-14 12:51:32

Wednesday evening the phone rings.It was my OH sister.
She said to him "I know you are moving house on Friday but I have decided to go away for the weekend and I need you to service my car before I go "
He said no.

unlucky83 Wed 13-Aug-14 13:15:31

I think I may well be doormat ..I really do have lots.
When we were at college I didn't get any spending money off my parents. But I had a weekend job so was actually 'richer' than lots of my friends. One friend 'borrowed' money off me -in dribs and drabs and for important things - like a pregnancy test once - she kept a tally and was definitely going to pay me back...owed me about £30.
Then she got a full time job in the holidays. When she got her first paycheck she came to eat in the restaurant I worked in with her boyfriend both kitted out in brand new clothes - they'd been on a spree - spent over £100 plus the cost of the meal...she said something like 'why not - I worked hard for this money' - paying me back was never mentioned again sad.
Late teens I lived away but was back visiting another friend - staying at her parent's house overnight. Friend wanted to go somewhere odd and I'd never been before - turns out she was having a fling with a married, older man who worked there. At the end of his shift she wanted to 'spend some private time' with him - but I couldn't go back to her parent's without her. So she suggested I went back to this man's friend's house and she would come and pick me up in an hour or so. This guy was really creepy, gross, a real 'dirty old man' - after I'd been there (just him and me) for 30 mins or so he put a pornographic video on. Obviously trying to get me in the mood .... yuk, yuk, yuk. I decided I'd better leave - I hung around on the street for a couple of hours and still my friend didn't desperation I went back and hung around outside her house ...I was freezing, tired and worried about her. At 7am someone started moving around in her house - so I knocked and her mum let me in - said I'd lost friend and I was really worried about her - turns out friend was fast asleep in her bed. Decided she couldn't be bothered to come out of her way to pick me up...decided I'd be fine staying with her 'bf' s friend. Worse I found out later she'd told her parents it was me who'd gone off shagging a stranger angry

Marcipex Wed 13-Aug-14 13:22:51

Conversation with Brown Owl:

BO We're all going on Pack Holiday! The first week of the holidays!

Me Er, I'll be in France then.

BO But I've booked it! I need you to come! We're all going! I have to have the adults! Etc

Me Sorry, but you never said.... our holidays booked.

BO But I've booked it now!I need you to come! We're all going! I was so excited! I need you! I've booked it now! We're all going......your husband can take the kids to France!!!

Me Er, no.

EllaMenopy Wed 13-Aug-14 13:43:10

I used to do babysitting for a couple of local families when I was at university.

Once I was asked to do a Saturday afternoon for a family with two primary school aged kids. Turned up at the appointed time to be told it was the eldest child's birthday party, and a dozen 9-10 year old girls were expected in an hour. Birthday Girl's parents showed me where to set up the food and drinks before they headed out the door for the afternoon and evening.

I had to admire their inventive approach, although was somewhat peeved that I didn't get a bonus when they paid me.

Legionofboom Wed 13-Aug-14 13:43:41

DH and I were about to move to a new flat about 2 mins away from where we were living. We arranged to hire a van for a half day and expected to drive less than 10 miles in total from collecting van, moving and returning the van.

A colleague of DH's was also about to move from a shared house about 30 miles away into her new house which was about 5 miles away from us. She couldn't afford a van and asked if she could share with us.

I still don't know what DH was thinking when he said yes. We ended up having to hire the van for the whole day instead of half so no saving there. We got up early and moved all our stuff into new flat and then without anytime to unpack or get organised we set off to help her.

We drove to her house about 30 miles away where she directed us with what to load onto the van while the friend that she had brought to help her floated around smoking weed. Neither of them ever lifted a box.

We then drove to her new house and she started directing us again. In the end I lost it as she watched us lifting box after box and barked 'upstairs, front bedroom' and I said 'We'll put it downstairs, front door step and you can take it from there." She was not amused. (Stoned friend was running across front gardens trying to catch neighbour's cat at this point)

Then to cap it all she only gave us half the money for the petrol so with the van being hired for longer than we needed it and us having driven about 80 miles rather than 8 we ended up out of pocket.

She never said thank you. A week later we saw her at DH's work's Christmas party. She still never said thank you, never offered to buy us a drink and went on about how tiring moving all the boxes was. A few weeks later we heard she'd started an affair with another married colleague who lived in her street.

hollycomputer Wed 13-Aug-14 13:45:04

lilmissneurotic I used to babysit for this woman who tried anything she could to get out of paying me. It would always be a couple of quid short and she'd say she would drop it in but she never did. Then she started trying to partially pay me in unwanted food items from her kitchen.

The final straw came when she got back three hours late, I told her how much she owed and she went into the kitchen, came back and thrust a half-eaten box of chocolates at me. There was a bit of an argument and eventually she said grudgingly that she'd drop the money off tomorrow. She didn't turn up, but a week later asked my mum if I could sit for her again. My mum refused on my behalf but apparently the woman was extremely put out and made some sneery remarks about what a good businesswoman I was. My mum replied 'she is, that's why she doesn't work for people who try to pay her in their leftovers'.

sunflower49 Wed 13-Aug-14 13:50:05

The little bits of brassneckness get me a lot it seems though nothing really bad-just people thinking that they're entitled to your stuff or your money.

Housemates that steal your food or your belongings and then make you out to be the bad guy when you protest- I had many of these in my years of university house sharing.

One such incident was a housemate who regularly stole food and I don't mean the odd slice of bread-whole bags of potatoes would disappear. I'd make a week's worth of soup or similar and leave it on the stove to cool and he'd eat IT ALL!!

I was the only one in the house with a PC, and I had it in the communal living room instead of my bedroom. as that meant other people could use it when I wasn't. BUT because of my being nice and doing this, people assumed it was as much their's as mine. One guy once refused to get off it when I needed it. I left the house and went to my friend's to use hers to study as she said she didn't need it that day and I got a nasty text off this guy saying he paid rent and was therefore fine to sit there (on my chair!) for as long as he wanted. I replied that he didn't rent my PC and he retracted and admitted that he thought of it as a shared PC and had completely forgotten that it was mine. He had his own laptop!!

Another housemate said she'd made some house rules. One was 'No eating or drinking at THE (my) computer desk. I sarcastically replied that as that was my desk and my computer and my chair, I could do whatever I wanted at it. Queue open mouthed look from her..But But, you might get crumbs or spill something on it!
'Yes, I might. If crumbs bother you, get your own-It's me who cleans and services the bloody thing!

flippinada Wed 13-Aug-14 14:05:01

After a couple of days thinking, I finally have one - and it's a humdinger.

After I split from my ex, we have shared custody of DS. This generally worked ok as he only lived a few minutes down the road. Or so I thought.

One day, picking him up from nursery they told me DS had not been in at all for the past couple of weeks on exes days with him. I just assumed the XP was keeping him off for a reason (maybe on holiday from work) and asked the nursery to let me know if this continued.

It did, and I asked XP what was going on. He announced that he was taking DS out of nursery and putting him in another one - without any consultation or discussion with me.

I consulted a solicitor and they wrote a letter to him stating that (paraphrasing) removing DS from his main source of childcare without consultation was completely unreasonable and could he explain himself.

It turned out that not only had he already registered DS with another nursery, he had moved 50 miles away, without telling me, and (the icing on the cake) told them that his new wife was DS's mum. I found this out because I called the nursery, introduced myself as DS' mum and they did not know who I was.

Salmotrutta Wed 13-Aug-14 14:12:57

It may have taken you a couple of days flippinada but that's a stonker!


flippinada Wed 13-Aug-14 14:16:59

Yes it is, isn't it? Someone probably had my XP in mind when they coined the phrase 'brass neck'.

Needless to say, the shared care arrangement did not last much longer.

ScrambledEggAndToast Wed 13-Aug-14 14:23:47

On holiday in Tunisia at the moment. Yesterday, we got a taxi back to the hotel. DP went to get in the front and the driver asked him to get in the back, his mate then got in the passenger seat and we dropped him off on the way shock He then also stopped for a ciggie grin Luckily, a 20 minute journey cost three pounds so not too bad but had it been at home the driver would have got short shrift.

gordyslovesheep Wed 13-Aug-14 14:25:16

I know I can't begin to tell you how much I regret letting him go ...mainly because I don't grin

We once had a 'getting to know you' party at our house for dh's new work team.

We laid on loads of food and drink, and everyone brought drinks too.

Everyone had a really good time and virtually all the beers we bought were drunk. Which was fine, it's why we bought it.

The next afternoon dh was at work and the doorbell went. It was one of his team who asked for the six cans of beer he had left behind from his twelve pack. He'd had WAY more than six cans and I'd seen him merrily dipping into the fridge for bottles repeatedly and he'd eaten loads too.

I was so gobsmacked I handed them over without a word but dh was livid at his cheek at drinking our alcohol and eating our food all night then asking for the beer he brought with him back the next day.


cleanasawhistle Wed 13-Aug-14 14:34:22

Years ago we invited MIL over for Xmas dinner.
(my OH is very handy and works very hard running his own business hardly ever has a day off etc,you get the picture)

So I went to collect MIL from her house.She stands at the door waving for me to come in.I get to the door and she says "its you,I was hoping OH was picking me up because I've got a few jobs I want him to do"
I said well he wouldn't have had time now because dinner in on the go and it is Xmas day and he deserves at least a couple of days off,you know how hard he works so you can ask him another day.She huffed as usual.

Get to my house eat Xmas dinner,play with kids...
MIL says she is ready to go.OH says he will take her.
He comes back about 3 hours later,yes she did get him in to do the jobs,I was furious.
For that reason plus some other of her selfish ways she has never been invited back at Christmas.

Salmotrutta Wed 13-Aug-14 14:42:17

coola - a friend of mine once had a dinner guest rummage in her fridge without permission to retrieve a bottle of wine she had brought that had remained unopened.

This was despite necking back my friends wine.

Roussette Wed 13-Aug-14 15:00:59

Oh heck all this is bringing back memories. Had a big do here one summer, marquees/awnings etc for an important occasion, had caterers in and everyfink. Invited a few of the neighbours to be ummm neighbourly.

One of them is vegetarian.. That's fine - we had two choices of vegetarian food in the cold buffet - spinach and filo pie and asparagus quiche plus loads and loads of salads suitable for veggies (as I like non meat food too). And tons of delicious desserts. As the caterers were packing up and I was in the kitchen writing out a cheque to the chief caterer (lovely woman), I saw this neighbour rummaging... I mean really rummaging... around in my fridge.

I asked her was there something she was looking for... (all the drink was outside) and she said that she was looking for cheese to make up a cheeseboard as she was still hungry.... lordy, you couldn't make it up could you... I'd paid squillions to have caterers in to cater for everyone, yet she was still hungry and wanted to find cheese hmm How rude!

ptumbi Wed 13-Aug-14 15:05:13

Coola - we used to have a friend who'd turn up for dinner parties with a bottle of wine, drink our wine all evening and then take his bottle home with him! Sometimes it wouldbe opened and half drunk, and he'd explain it as not wanting it to 'go to waste' .

Salmotrutta Wed 13-Aug-14 15:07:42

Wine never goes to waste in this house...

ptumbi Wed 13-Aug-14 15:08:41

Nor ours grin - there was no need for him to take it!

ipswichwitch Wed 13-Aug-14 15:20:24

My DBro has frequently taken/tried to take the mick but this took some beating.
He rang me a while back to ask to borrow my drive to Poland! (We live up north, so a canny distance!) apparently he wanted to go with his girlfriend and her two DC for a visit, and thought my crappy 10yo fiesta would fit the bill.
Apart from the fact he had his own car, which was bigger and not so old and crappy as mine, he completely overlooked the fact that the DC didn't have passports, so what the hell was he planning to do with them whenever they crossed a border to another country? Hide them in the boot? What about insurance etc?
According to him it would be cheaper to drive the 4 of them than for his GF to get an easy jet flight by herself, and would only take a day to drive there (suspect he has no idea where Poland is actually), which is pretty ridiculous when travelling with 2 young DC, who I pointed out , will need to stop off regularly and probably need a hotel for the night on the way.
Aside from all the above reasons which made his request so absurd, when I pointed out I needed the car to get to work, he said " why can't you get the bus?"!!!
My reply of "why can't you stop being ridiculous" resulted in him hanging up and not speaking to me for weeks.

FreckledLeopard Wed 13-Aug-14 15:58:40

I once offered to look after a friend's three-year old son whilst she went to a rave. I had DD with me (aged two) at the same time (was a single parent).

So, friend drops her son off around 10pm on the Saturday night. He arrives, starts playing loudly with toys etc. He then goes to the loo, doesn't flush it and I notice he has horrible diarrhoea.

I put him to bed, get to bed myself and am woken fairly rapidly by the sound of vomiting. All over the bed and the floor. Plus more diarrhoea. I clean up, stick sheets in bath (didn't have a washing machine as was in student accommodation, so there was a washing block a short walk from the house). The kid throws up and has diarrhoea all night (although he was very cheerful about it). I call up my friend. She manages to answer phone. I say that her son is ill, she might like to pick him up. She replies, very, very slowly, "I'm too stoned to move."

Great! "When do you think you'll be able to move?" I asked. "Don't know" was the answer.

She didn't turn up until 7pm the following evening. I'd supposed to be going out with DD and friends to the cinema that afternoon. When she arrived I was too angry to talk to her. She then tried to be all sweet and hug me. I told her to sod off and that I didn't think it was a brilliant idea to take so much ketamine that you were immobile for 18 hours, if you had a small child.

She yelled at me, "how dare you judge me", grabbed sick child and flounced off.

SconeRhymesWithGone Wed 13-Aug-14 16:29:04

When DH and I got engaged we made a visit to family where DH met many of them for the first time. I was in my late 30s and had never been married. DH was and is, if I do say so myself, a rather charming and physically attractive man and just a couple of years older than me.

My step-grandmother (as in my grandfather's second wife, but who had been in the family since I was a child) said to my mother "Scone is so lucky to be marrying [insert DH's name here]; he could have had any of those younger girls."

vladthedisorganised Wed 13-Aug-14 16:29:16

Blimey Leopard!

One I saw in the local paper/ website - a girl (with obligatory DM sadface) asking for 'crowdfunding' for a new prom dress and stretch limo to take her to her school prom, plus a bit of spending money as 'money was tight for her these days'.

When someone from the same school pointed out in the comments section (not unreasonably I felt) that arriving in a stretch limo was by no means obligatory and that she could always wear something less formal that she had already, she replied "I didn't get in touch with the paper to be JUDGED, I just hoped that compassion wasn't DEAD as it clearly is for some!"

Not sure whether anyone donated to her 'appeal'...

wordsmithsforever Wed 13-Aug-14 16:46:31

These are shockers - especially the palming-off-children-for-days ones!

AbbieHoffmansAfro Wed 13-Aug-14 16:49:29

A colleague once got the main office to ring and get me to cover a client meeting at very short notice (about an hour) because she was ill. They thought it was a bit sus but had little option but to arrange cover. I cancelled something and rushed in to work. To see her flouncing off for dinner with her boyfriend. Busted.

I had no option but to do it anyway, we couldn't let the client down. The next day she came in while I was on the 'phone and put a bottle of wine on my desk with a nauseating smile, then crept out. I finished my call, went into her office and plonked the wine down on the desk and let her have it for about 5 minutes for being so dishonest.

She was really taken aback. I think I was either supposed to find the passionate love affair that required skiving off work to spend the evening together charming, or be too conventional to haul her up for lying. Wrong on both counts.

MrsVamos Wed 13-Aug-14 16:53:53

Salmo !

<offers wine to all>

Congrats on a classic !

Can't reveal any of mine, too outable.

Salmotrutta Wed 13-Aug-14 17:04:36

Hey Mrs Vamos!! grin

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Wed 13-Aug-14 17:06:36

God, I've remembered another one from the sports venue. Chap turns up with 9 year old DD. Now, newbies and minors HAVE to be accompanied for the first visit by a trained member, and under-14s can't be alone ever.

So this chap gets the hump when I tell him a) he needs checking out on the gear by an instructor, b) he MUST stay with his daughter and c) I don't instruct when I'm on the till.

"But I've made arrangements! I can't back out! Of course you can instruct!"

"No, I can't. Nor have I a CRB ticket; all my pupils have to be adults."

"This isn't good enough! Where's the manager?"

"You're looking at him."

Assorted frothing noises later he left, his poor daughter absolutely crimson.

Halsall Wed 13-Aug-14 17:14:43

Just remembered this!

A long time ago now, I had to share a small office with someone (slightly eccentric building where we were all crammed in odd corners). Colleague was OK-ish but had a bit of an inflated opinion of himself.

One day he begged me to let him borrow notes I'd made for a major research project because he needed to read up before an interview coming up for an internal job in the same area as my research, very much a promotion for him.

Like a trusting idiot, I lent him the notes.

Much later I heard from someone else that not only had he read them to prepare, he'd photocopied them and taken them to the interview where he pretended they were his. They were a major factor in getting him the job and he was complimented on them. It was all in my handwriting too (pre-computers).

For years afterwards I used to see his name as he ascended the career ladder in our quite public (arty, creative) field.

Wazzock angry

Not me, my ex DSIL.

A few years ago, my DSIL did a huge favour for someone who was, in contrast to most of the favourees on this thread, actually grateful, and bought her dinner, bed & breakfast for two in a nice hotel to say thanks. She decided to take Jane, a woman she'd known for about a year and had become really close to.

Over dinner, Jane dramatically announced that there was something DSIL needed to know about her if they were to be close friends. Jane had been having an affair with a married man, the one true love of her life, for many years. And in fact, he just happened to be in the area that evening, so was going to join them for drinks in about... ooh, 30 seconds.

So they had this really uncomfortable drink, Jane and MM pawing each other and DSIL exuding disapproval, whereupon Jane and MM suddenly discover they are really tired and then it transpires that completely coincidentally, he just happens to be staying in the same hotel!

Guess which room Jane stayed in that night?

So DSIL found herself alone in her room at 9pm while her friend enjoyed the extra-marital shagging she'd used DSIL's treat as cover to engineer.

They're not friends any more.

oldgrandmama Wed 13-Aug-14 17:33:32

Here's another one: my late husband and I became mildly friendly with a woman who ran the bar in a hotel in Germany that we sometimes stayed in. She was very jolly and chatty. Fast forward a couple of years -my beloved husband suddenly died (very traumatic night - he was ill just one hour, died in my arms before medical help could arrive) - we'd been married only three years.

I returned to live in the UK. German woman had kept in touch and she started dropping heavy hints about coming to visit. Fine, I said, we could meet up for lunch or something - after all, she was a jolly soul, and only a few years younger than I (both in our fifties then). So then she started banging on about how expensive hotels in London were, couldn't she stay with me, it'd be such fun ... mug that I am, I weakened. So on the day she was due to arrive, I was having my coffee and toast at 9 a.m. when she turned up, having arrived at City Airport. I offered her some toast and she said didn't I have any wine?! I mumbled something about some chardonnay in the 'fridge and she said that'd be perfect. And could I make her an omelette, perhaps with some smoked salmon?

I soon found out how she managed to be so jolly - she was permanently sloshed. After her breakfast wine, she'd go off to meet friends in various London drinking clubs for more booze. Then to a pub for pre lunch drinkies, then long long lunch with - you've guessed - wine and brandies to finish off. Another drinking club in the afternoon, then she'd turn up at my place to change for dinner, necking whatever wine I had (and to be fair, she brought back bottles herself and always offered me some)

Boozy dinner, of course - then a club or too. I spent a day out with her so I know just what her routine was - never again!

Her liver, of course, was her own affair but God, she was annoying when it came to the phone. I had just one line and in those days, dial-up internet. So if phone used, internet not available, and vice versa. She unplugged an extension and plugged it into her bedroom, and whenever she was in, she was on the bloody phone ALL the time, I assumed talking to her British friends. Wrong! Turned out she was phoning mates all over the bloody world - nothing important, but relating who she'd met, where she'd been boozing, what she'd had for lunch/dinner and what she'd bought. When she'd finally left, my phone bill was well into three figures - for that one week!

I realised, from her ramblings, that she was a sort of 'professional mistress', to put it charitably. She had a stable of married lovers, who seemed to pay for everything, including her air far to London, her rent, lots of 'presents', any inconvenient bills. Particularly unpleasant was the way she was so disparaging of their poor wives, laughing and sneering at them. She then told me that she kept in touch with even the lovers who weren't even lovers any longer (hmmmm ....blackmail, I couldn't help wondering?) apart from the THREE who had committed suicide shock

But what finally did it for me was when we were talking about my late husband, what a lovely guy he was etc., and she told me that she 'could have taken him away from me any time she liked, but she chose not to ...'

For some years after, she phoned often dropping hints about another visit, but I was polite and firm - NO bloody way. I heard earlier this year that she's suffered several strokes. I actually felt quite sorry for her, to be honest. But the amount she drank, I'm amazed it didn't happen earlier.

alterego333 Wed 13-Aug-14 17:33:35

Three of us were official keyholders for the office I worked at. All senior managers, one of whom was responsible for the burglar alarm contract, and the other our MD. The two of them were very tight as they had all sorts of financial shenanigans going on. Our office building was old and not particularly well maintained, and I had a call one night (about 2:00am) from the alarm company to say that the alarm was going off. Dragged myself out of bed, slung my clothes on and set off into the night expecting to find the front door had shifted in the high winds which would account for the alarm going off. 20 minutes drive through wind and rain. Arrive at office, check the premises, re-set the alarm and head back for home. OK, it's just one of those things.

A couple of weeks later, same scenario. When I took the phone call I asked "Is no-one else available to go this time?" and was told I was the only person they could contact. Repeat performance as before. Not happy.

A third occurrence happened not long after. When I took the call (thinking that I could quite reasonably have been away for the weekend and therefore unable to attend the poxy alarm) I asked the alarm people if they had tried the other two keyholders first. "We only have your contact details" they said! I drove all the way to the office shouting "Bastards, bastards, bastards!" at the top of my voice. Even though my mood had muted somewhat by Monday morning, I let my colleagues know exactly what I thought of the arrangement and felt a right pillock for having taken so long to suss them out.

A couple from recent years.
I'm a mature student at Uni. One assignment we had seemed to be very difficult for a few of the peer group I was working in. I had my assignment printed, bound and handed in around 10am on the submission day. Assignment due to be handed in at 2pm. At 1.30 one of my classmates turned up in the study room, and after a little chit-chat handed me his laptop asking me to write his discussion and conclusion "because you're good at that". I pointed out politely why this was not a good way to work. Two hours later he was still writing....

Another student in the same group stopped attending lectures, stopped participating in the 'round robin' email that was being pushed by me and another student to collaborate our findings (we'd done some group work and needed to pool/cross-examine what we'd done to create a consolidated feedback section). After five weeks of pushing I gave up including him, put all the findings into a table, provided diagrams to those who'd participated, finished the assignment and handed it in. On handin day he turned up and had the audacity to berate me for not providing him with tables and diagrams. Eventually he conceded that not turning up to lectures, not contributing anything and not responding to 20+ emails suggested to me that he'd left the course and therefore would not require any further updates.

KERALA1 Wed 13-Aug-14 17:59:25

Had an awful flat mate once who was shagging her boss. He often came to our flat. She held a small party at our flat to celebrate qualifying and invited her team plus partners and me. I was told to pretend I didn't know the boyfriend as me knowing him could give them away!

Hated talking to the wife, who had just had her third child, whilst I a complete stranger to her knew her husband was going out with my flatmate. Horrid.

HolePunchFour Wed 13-Aug-14 17:59:38

At Cambridge, I had a "friend", someone older who I had met outside. Not a student.

We were mainly random casual text buddies, he didn't want to spend time with me 1-1. He was interesting, but not really a deep friendship or someone who I could contact in a crisis, etc.

Call him Jimmy.

I was organising a college sports social thing, and asked Jimmy if he wanted to come along.

"Beg me" he texted back. I ignored it, he turned up anyway.

Amongst all the bright young thangs, and took a shine to one girl: they exchanged about two sentences. She gave no signs she was interested in him. Looking back, she was WAY out of his league. He left early.

He e-mailed me the next day, he was smitten, he really had never met anyone like her, could I get in touch with her?

Jimmy was a bit of an overthinking nervous character.

Rather than asking to "pass my number on" he composed a long e-mail in which he "hinted" what a great/interesting guy he was and then "casually" mentioned at the end: "Oh, M seemed very interesting, please tell her I'd love to chat over a coffee."

I had to forward it on to her.

So: being the young romantic I was, I forwarded it onto her.

She sent a nice one back, saying she was partnered up (bright young academic, so totally different to Jimmy) thanks but no thanks.

Oh, if "I" wanted to meet for a girly coffee please give her a shout.

I sent one to Jimmy and he sent one back demanding I HAD to take her up on the coffee.

Basically, his plan was I needed to stalk her and make friends with her and break her relationship up for HIS benefit.

I declined.

believeintheshield Wed 13-Aug-14 19:05:14

Mine is very tame compared to some of the ones on here. I had a housemate who would regularly go into my room and take my DVDs without asking. He'd never put them back, and I'd never actually see him in my room. One day I came home to find that my TV was gone. I went into his room to see that it was there - his had broken so he thought he'd borrow mine. This would be bad enough, but I decided enough was enough and took it all back, including every DVD he'd had off me. He was out at the time. When he came back, he had the gall to come and have a go at me for going into his room without permission! I was so taken aback I just gaped at him! I moved out shortly after.

nicenewdusters Wed 13-Aug-14 19:14:27

Many years ago went to stay for the weekend with lovely friend and her very annoying boyfriend. He wasn't there on arrival, phoned her 2 hours later to say he'd met a friend on the way to the barbers and they were now pissed in the local pub. We met up with them at a restaurant, where in his drunken state he set fire to the table cloth by playing with the candle on the table.

My friend showed us to our room for the night. It was a mattress on the floor with clearly used bed sheets etc. She said she hoped we didn't mind, some other friends and her brother had recently stayed and the sheets were still pretty clean !

About 8 am the next morning she knocked on the door to say some of their friends had called and were offering to drive them out of town to go walking. She explained they rarely had the chance to do this, so did we mind if they went, and of course we could come too. We replied that we had no walking gear, and had to get our train home fairly early that afternoon as we had work the next day. Her reply - ok, just help yourself to breakfast, and if you could lock the front door on your way out just pop the keys back through the letterbox !!

The thought of our faces as we sat in absolute disbelief still makes me smile - and she married him !

GoggleFox Wed 13-Aug-14 19:33:50

I lived next to a building whose lower flower was turned into a coffee shop.

They hung tea towels out across my yard which I mentioned not being happy with to one of the waitresses. I came home one day to find they had put up a shed partly on my yard! I posted about it on here at the time as I was fuming and a witty MNetter quipped "Give them a yard and they'll take a mile..."

They underestimated me; the shed was down within days.

GoggleFox Wed 13-Aug-14 19:34:19

lower floor!

A group of friends took it in turns to mind each others' pre-school kids while we all went to a yoga class

When it was friend X's turn, she said she couldn't do it that day.

I happened to see her before the class was due & she said that, as I was at home with my DS after all, could I look after her DD while she went to the class


(I did say no!)

velouria Wed 13-Aug-14 21:20:24

Ooh ratbag you have reminded me, ex dp had taken kids into town really close to Christmas, only small, think 3 and 6, whilst out there was a sudden massive snow fall. Of course being Uk all public transport immediately ground to a halt.

After a few toe numbing hours they managed to make it to our nearest town, the local taxi firm had a wait of a few hours, dp decided to walk, he popped into the chinese and they offered to take him and the kids home along with the chinese.

Very heartwarming and kind, saved 2 freezing children a long walk, their poor toes really were blue.

Sorry for off topic, great thread grin.

HemlockStarglimmer Wed 13-Aug-14 21:27:23

I had a summer job away from home when I was seventeen. Friday lunchtime one of the bosses asked if I could look after her eight year old that afternoon. No problem - I had the evening off (waitress). So I fronted up at her house after the lunch shift was over (3pm), took the child to a prearranged swimming date, then kept her entertained and fed at her house until her older brother got home at 10 pm.

The next day the boss came up to me, thanked me for looking after the child and paid me.


Even 35 years ago I thought it was a little on the low side for seven hours of babysitting.

GrumpyGuts84 Wed 13-Aug-14 21:29:08

An evening meal was arranged at a local pub for MIL birthday, DH and BIL had said they would pay for her as it was her birthday, SIL overheard this and took it as them paying for the whole meal between them, but didn't tell us this until the end of the meal when she had ordered starters, mains and dessert for her, her other half and 3 kids, and she'd chucked in a few 'celebratory drinks' for MIL too, when the bill was asked for, it was then she decided to declare she had no money to her name, so DH and BIL ended up footing a £240 bill between them! Oh but her kind partner did scrape together the cash for his meal, as a gesture of goodwill!

bumblebeerat Wed 13-Aug-14 21:38:09

I was heavily pregnant with my third son carrying a heavy pushchair with my 2 year old in it up the stairs to catch a train while keeping an eye on my 5yr old when a man comes running up the stairs saying excuse me! I thought how nice some help when he says "excuse me I want to get to the platform and your in the way!!" Needless to say he had to wait.

lollypops1976 Wed 13-Aug-14 21:49:10

I have a few but I'll share one:
I broke up with someone and had gone round to collect the last of my things. whilst I was there somebody rang the doorbell. He panicked and pushed me into a room and shut the door. He then let in a girl and proceeded to start watching a film with her! I didn't know what the hell to do as the only way was out through that room, after about 25 mins I walked through the room quite calmly saying, " hello and goodbye, I will leave him to explain who I am!"

Pointlessfan Wed 13-Aug-14 21:59:12

Great thread!
A friend of ours offered to nip round and feed the cat when we went away for the weekend. On the Saturday afternoon I texted to ask if the cat was OK. He replied with a photo message of the cat, sitting on his lap on our settee. Fair enough the cat was getting some attention but in the background I could see that the footie was on our TV and he had opened a beer out of our fridge. I'm sure he only offered because we had Sky!

Salmotrutta Wed 13-Aug-14 21:59:23

I've remembered another one from the dim and distant past - about 20 years ago probably if that's relevant.

I had advertised an item for sale in the paper.

Man rings up and says he wants to come and view it. So far so good. He then proceeds to tell me he lives in the next town and doesn't drive so will get the bus, so it will take him a wee while to get here.
No problem thinks I, BUT, he then proceeds to ask me to phone the bus company, find out bus times then phone him back to let him know!! shock

I told him no.

theressomethingaboutmarie Wed 13-Aug-14 22:09:25

DH and I rented a flat about 10 years ago. The area had very limited parking but it was a short term deal for us so we didn't mind. We had two cars at the time and parked one of them on the grass verge by the flat. After about a month of living there, someone knocks at the door and introduces himself as a neighbour. He said that he needed us to move the car we'd park on the grass verge, as someone had parked in his space (not us and he knew that) and so he wanted to park near the flats and suggested that we park 100 yards down the road!!

DH was just flabbergasted into silence. Neighbour got really agitated and accused DH of being uncooperative and a bad neighbour. Poor DH didn't say a damn thing back to him as he was so completely stunned.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Wed 13-Aug-14 22:41:41

There are many splendid tales about eBay, particularly if you're selling a vehicle. Apart from the clowns who want you to end early to avoid fees, there are those unfortunate souls who haven't quite grasped how a contract works.

This was an exchange with a pillock over one of my motorbikes: "I'll give you 500 for it". "No thanks, I'll see how the bidding goes". "It's a firm offer". "No thanks". "English law says you have to accept". "English law says no such thing". "I'll fucking sue you". "You will? You'll need to find out where I live first." And then it degenerated.

When I finally sold the bike, the buyer turned up in a car wearing a tshirt and suggested "borrowing" my jacket to ride home in. I suggested there was a dealership a mile away who'd be glad to kit him out. "Should get a nice all in one for under £300". He humped a bit and left. I've always wondered if he died of hypothermia...

HPparent Wed 13-Aug-14 22:45:20

Being quite poor we were really grateful when BIL offered to lend us his large house in DH's country for a holiday, this was the home in which DH was brought up but it has been "sold" to BIL for a nominal amount to avoid death taxes.

At that time the grounds were open to the public in summer for which a fee was charged - a couple of locals were employed to sell the tickets etc. When we got there we found a basket with tickets and a float and a note informing us that we were in charge of running it for a week as the local people weren't working. DH was also "invited" to do some gardening.

I was fucking furious that our "holiday" was basically unpaid labour running a tourist attraction. We did have a couple of days when we just locked the gates and went out but DH was too pathetic to do it more. I also helped myself to some if the takings as "wages". Apparently BIL thought it was a privilege for us to stay there and not go out while he went with his family to their holiday home in another part of the country.

ogredownstairs Wed 13-Aug-14 22:57:57

At uni you had to show a photocard/mealticket to claim an evening meal. The cards were all kept on in a rack on the wall by the entrance to the canteen so you just picked yours up as you went in (slightly mad system, 25 years ago!)

DBf dumped me for OW from a different college. Had horrible few days weeping etc in my room, then the first time I braved the canteen for dinner I discovered he had not only taken OW in for dinner but used my ticket to get a meal for her (we looked quite similar.) So I was heartbroken, hungry and humiliated...!

WellnowImFucked Wed 13-Aug-14 23:01:42


BJMH Wed 13-Aug-14 23:28:43

Was (poss still am) second emergency contact for friends child. One day she is sick at school so I go pick her up and bring her home with my 2 younger children, phone friend, no answer, phone mutual friends and find out she's gone away for a long weekend. When I take her to collect my oldest son, her Mum (1st emergency contact) turns up non the wiser (hadn't heard phone or something) and takes her. All fine but when I see 'friend' she doesn't even say thank you!
Looked after friends sons after school one day a week/once a month for 18 months, on a babysitting swap basis, she had mine about 4 times. Still waiting for the rest.
I'm no longer a sap!

Mercedes519 Wed 13-Aug-14 23:52:05

Am just amazed at some people but made me remember one from DS's 6th birthday. It was in a sports hall and I'd said that people could drop off and leave but if they wanted younger siblings to play (we had room) they would need to stay. Classmate of DS turns up with his parents and younger sibling of about 3. We're busy greeting people and I look round and they are heading out the door having left BOTH kids with a virtual stranger in a strange place!!

I had to ask his older brother what his little brothers name was...he seemed quite happy though. Maybe they had a lot of brass neck and did it a lot.

Boomerwang Wed 13-Aug-14 23:53:00

Still only got about a quarter of the way down, but I can't believe some of these stories... and believe even less that anyone would ALLOW this shit to happen to them.

gointothewoods Wed 13-Aug-14 23:57:23

Good friend of mine, while I was undergoing fertility treatment, phoned me and asked me to take her 2 (easily conceived, 10 months between them) children, for a weekend. As apparently "you need the practice as I am sure you will conceive soon". I was on my 2nd round of IVF after 2 years of other fertility treatments and 2 miscarriages. Yeah I was just dying to get some practice.

Other friend, when we go away on weekends to hotels (maybe about once a year), wraps up danishes, croissants etc and brings them home as gifts for her children. She also takes the little portions of jam, butter, honey etc as "they are very handy".

LazyRohazy Thu 14-Aug-14 00:00:51

My mum came to stay for a week when DD was 5 wks old. I was exhausted due to lack of sleep, plus DD had awful reflux. DH was floored by severe bronchitis at the same time, so I was looking forward to mum being around. I naively thought she would give me a bit of a hand. Not anything major; just hold the baby so I could have a shower. I wasn't expecting to be waited on.

Oh no. Turned out she was the one who expected to be waited on. She wouldn't even make herself a cup of tea "because she was on her holidays". Grrr...

deepest Thu 14-Aug-14 00:09:16

I was on free school meals....those of us who were had to go and collect our token from the school office each day - so everyone knew we were on FSM not that I were allowed to spend up to 50p - and a friend would stand behind me like a hawk each day in the dinner queue and if I didnt spend up to the full value would shove something of hers on to my tray to tap into my FSM benefit!!

deepest Thu 14-Aug-14 00:13:15

My mother died very suddenly and painfully from ovarian cancer at 62. At her wake my aunt (Mums older sister) siddled up to my grieving sister at the open coffin and said "When I die make sure you look after x" (her daughter/our cousin) - the lid was not yet on our Mothers coffin when my aunt was thinking about herself and her daughter....

likklemum Thu 14-Aug-14 01:08:19

I moved back to my childhood town shortly before having DS1. Only one of my old friends had children so naturally we started to hang out. When she started working her mum was paid to do the childcare alongside her part time job. Quite often, as I was SAHM, I would take her 2 DDs if there was a shortfall (unpaid and never reciprocated). One day, she phoned to ask if I could have her DDs- I agreed and she said her mum would drop them off. When they were dropped off, my friend's mum thanked me for stepping in last minute when the girls were so poorly because she had called in sick at her job too many times in the last few months and her boss had the hump. The DDs spent their time spluttering with temperatures on the sofas. I had 3 perfectly healthy DSs (under 5) until they came round. What made it ok to dump them on a young family just because she didn't want to get sick?!!
The friend in question would quite often phone to see what we were up to and did we want to meet up, but towards the end of our friendship, mostly it was a precursor to 'oh, not much? Can I drop the girls round then?'
The DH of the friend also jumped on board the pisstake wagon when he was late picking up his DDs saying 'seeing as you had them, I decided to stay late at work and put in some overtime.' It was past our own DSs bedtime and we had already picked them up from school and fed them tea.
Nowadays I don't hear from her much- except for the school holidays because I am a teacher and she thinks I can have her Dd all holiday! confusedhmmshock

Bilberry Thu 14-Aug-14 01:12:19

The night before my wedding i was staying at my parents house and I had a few girlfriends round. One of dh friends (male) was bored in his b&b so decided to come round... And stayed! Even when all my friends went he still stayed. Not sure what happened in the end as he was still sitting in my parents lounge when I went off to bed. Only my dh knew him, my parents had never met him before.

Great thread.

Mine is my wanker ex. There could actually be many, many examples of brass neck, including the time his car broke down so he simply took mine and left me wandering around a town I didn't know for the whole day, so he could go to work (instead of, you know, letting me drop him off and pick him up ...). But the best one was when we split up. Unbeknown to me, he'd already started a relationship with someone else, so was a bit skittish. My parents invited me to come join them on holiday to get over the break up, and I was in Wales. We'd agreed I'd come back on the Monday so we could clean the house together prior to giving the keys back to the letting agent on Tuesday.

On Sunday, he rang to say he was struggling horribly and needed me to come back right now. Like an idiot, I drove back (and it was about 250 miles so not a short drive). He met me at the door saying he'd changed his mind and was too emotionally affected to stay while I cleaned up, so he was going to drive down to his parents and would return on Tuesday to sort out the key-return. And he left.

I went into the house to discover it was a shit tip, he'd not washed up a single thing in the week he'd been alone and the sink was piled with it, etc. I ended up sobbing down the phone to my mum, then I had to get on with it as I needed my deposit back (I'd paid it, and I had to prove I had funds in my account to cover the MA course I was starting, and he knew this).

Never got the deposit money. Nearly lost my MA place because he refused to talk to me about the money he owed me.

I found out two years later - from the lettings agency, who deserve a medal - that he'd given them his address/name to return the deposit cheque to, and they'd been insisting they couldn't make it payable to anyone but the person who paid it in.

What a complete wanker.

TensionWheelsCoolHeels Thu 14-Aug-14 02:17:06

Mine is my wanker ex too grin

We broke up at new year but he hung around for a few months as he had no deposit for a flat & I needed the money he (occasionally forgot) to hand in while still living together. In the end, I couldn't take much more of him so suggested that he keep that month's money & use it for a flat deposit, and I'd just keep the PC he bought 2 years before we split up.

Anyhoo, he moved out & initially I let him keep my spare key in case I lost mine, on the understanding he didn't use it any other time (daft of me I know). Everything went smoothly until about a month after he had officially moved out, I took an afternoon off work and caught him in my flat, using the PC I now owned to download porn & burn it onto discs. He was using my PC, electricity, internet & food god knows how often until I caught him out. Suffice to say I took the key off him that day. The worse bit was the crap he downloaded fucked up my PC & I never got the benefit of it much beyond that day.

PurpleWolfe Thu 14-Aug-14 03:57:42

I have a few...

MIL (who lives abroad) took out a large financial loan - and used our address for it! Not only did she not ask us first, she denied it when we questioned her! When she stopped paying the loan back, we were threatened with the bailiffs and were bombarded with phone calls from the loan company!

In the local leisure centre swimming pool's communal showers on a very quiet day, I was the only person having a shower. Two women, on finishing their swim, chatting away to each other, stopped by my towel (right next to me) and dried their hands on it!! I had shampoo in my hair (and eyes) at that moment and, to be honest, I was so shocked I didn't say anything at the time! When I saw them a bit later whilst I was drying my hair, I mentioned they should use their own bloody towels! Their reply? "Oh, really, some people"!!!!

And...a well off neighbour took their children to Disney (Florida) for two weeks and asked if I'd look after their 3 cats in their own home. Not a problem. Was a bit hmm when they said they wanted them fed in the morning and the evening but, still, I'd already said I'd do it. On top of feeding the felines I had to clear up dead/dying mice and other creatures they'd brought in (including the mouse livers!) every day and mop the floor with disinfectant! On their return, as a 'thank you', I got a some chocolates from them. Happened to see said chocs later in Lidl - for £0.75p!!

CheerfulYank Thu 14-Aug-14 04:09:04

I started a thread about this and it's been suggested I put this here grin

I have a good friend. Met her when we lived in the same dorm at college and have been close ever since, so coming up on 14 years now.

She is my DD's godmother and I am unofficially her DD's. I say unofficially as her DD has never been baptized as she and DH haven't found a church they like, but she refers to me as her DD's godmother. So we're certainly not strangers!

Last January she asked me if, when she and DH went to Vegas that February for four days, I could watch her DD, who would have been just shy of three and a half at the time. I said yes, I'd love to as I don't get to see her DD much and it would be fun.

She then said she would bring a pack n okay for DD to sleep in. I said "well she'll be a bit big won't she, I can just borrow a toddler bed from my SIL.". She said that would be nice and then said "will you put it in your room?"

I said probably not as DD (then 8/9 months) was still co-sleeping and waking a lot so it would be better to put the bed either in the room that was DD's (though she wasn't using it at the time) or, if friend's DD was a bit lonely, in my 6 year old DS's room.

Friend hemmed and hawed for a bit then said "well please your DD's room and not DS's."

I asked why and she said "It's just in my line of work" (she is a therapist) "I have a different world view, and I'm so paranoid about DD being molested. It's nothing personal at all to your DS, I just have seen people's lives ruined in an instant, and if he got curious..."

I was so shock I finally just said ", you think that's necessary..." thinking WTAF. She then said her DH wanted her to ask, since our house was old, if there was any lead paint around. shock

A few weeks later we went out to a movie and she drove me home. (She's rarely at my house because she lives a few hours away.) She asked to cone in and use the bathroom and I said of course, but warned her it was unusually messy. She went in, then called me in to speak to her.

Now. A word about the bathroom. It was very messy indeed, full of laundry because that is where are washer and dryer are and the dryer was broken. So laundry etc everywhere. It was very untidy but not actually dirty as I do wipe toilet/sink everyday.

So I go in and she says, waving her hand to indicate entire bathroom, "what are we going to do about this...because I can't sell this to DH."

I stared at her and then said, well, of course it isn't usually like this and even if it were, I would tidy before having guests, even a three year old guest.

Then it dawned on me and I said "well, of course I will tidy it anyway but...your DH isn't going to see it, you said you were dropping DD off before you leave."

She hemmed and hawed again for a bit and then said (and by this time, may I add, we were sitting in the living room which, minus the odd toy, was perfectly tidy as was every room BUT the bathroom grin ) "well...he said " I don't really know Cheerful...he said he needs to see your house before he thinks DD can stay here." shock shock shock

I should add, I have known her DH as long as I've known her. I have a drawing he gave me for my 21st birthday in a scrapbook. I'm 32 now. hmm

I was, again, stunned, so I just said "well that is ridiculous, of course he knows me but if he thinks he has to..."

But later talking to DH he absolutely hit the rood and said "no way am I letting <friend's DH> over here to inspect our house so we can do him a fucking favor!"

So I told friend no thanks. And maybe I should add that I was a childminder, a nanny, worked in a nursery, and later as a 1:1 aide with a young child. I'm qualified n' shit. grin

As for how she got this way...part if it is inborn personality. She is just a very anxious person. Part of it is rearing. She was raised by two doting parents, comfortable financially, one adoring younger sister. She and her sister are very selfish. Not maliciously at all, they are kind hearted, but they were raised with their needs above all else and continue this way as adults. They will not inconvenience themselves ever,at all. Friend, for instance, was beyond offended when her sister was visiting her, went to smoke after midnight, and locked herself out. Friend ended up finally hearing her pounding at 5 a.m. and was totally upset at being woken! She told me she is never having sister over again as she can't "do broken sleep."

The biggest part though, is her DH. He also has many ishoos and she justifies them, as he does for her. If my DH said half the crap he does I'd tell him he was being a twat and to knock it off sharpish grin

NutellaLawson Thu 14-Aug-14 06:09:52

I used to waitress in a restaurant and one of the other waitresses was having an affair with the restaurant manager.

One night she asked a colleague to watch her tables for a bit (cig break) but she was ages. So long that the colleague covering her was getting worried. He went to find the manager but he was also nowhere to be found.

Said waitress was then discovered having a meal in a nearby restaurant with her manager (who was also on duty) during their shift.

My brother and sister were highly annoyed with me, as having arranged our mothers 60th birthday afternoon tea at the Ritz Hotel I actually asked them to contribute to the cost of their own meal. My brother deleted me on Facebook for being so horrible.

Familyguyfan Thu 14-Aug-14 07:35:36

For my birthday one year I went out for a meal with about 15 friends. Right at the beginning of the meal I mentioned the bill. It was the general consensus that we would split the bill 15 ways and if anyone had anything expensive they would chip in extra. For example, a couple of friends had a bottle of wine so paid extra for that. Everyone happy.

A couple of friends who are married to each other have form for being a bit careful but all agreed so I thought no more about it. Anyway one of them didn't like their meal. There was nothing specifically wrong with it, just not to their taste. I suggested speaking to the staff as it was a great restaurant and I'm sure they would have offered an alternative but they didn't want to. Okay.

Bill comes, extra monies for wine etc. are deducted and total is divided 15 ways. Money appears from all directions. I start counting it up but we keep coming up short. Lots of scratching of heads, everyone starts putting in a bit more and eventually we make the total.

I think about it a bit over the next few days and later the next week went to see a friend who was at the dinner. We're discussing it and it turned out that the couple who hadn't liked one of their main meals simply hadn't paid EITHER of their shares of the meal.

Apparently in their mind if you don't like one bit of your joint meal you don't have to pay for any of it. Instead you just make your friends pay for it. They did have a bit of form for stuff like this but it was so ridiculous, I hadn't even noticeed it. The thought had never crossed my mind.

It was too late to mention it after, but speaking to most of the other dinners, virtually all of them HAD noticed but didn't want to cause an argument. They were never invited out again and we see much less of them now.

mrsnec Thu 14-Aug-14 07:47:07

Sorry everyone I've just remembered another one.

We look after holiday homes. One client pays for the minimum package which means we look after her pool and sort her post. We'd got friendly so we were also doing her garden for free.she started asking more favours and my dh insisted because he didn't want to lose a client but this was the final straw.

On a previous trip over her car died. Dh tried to fix it but couldn't. Our mechanic friend looked at it and said it would cost more to fix than the car was worth. So she left it and returned to the uk. A couple of months later we get a call saying she's coming over again and needs me to sort her out a car. I try a hire car and its too expensive or too short notice. Then she asks if dh can take time off work and bring mechanic friend to take her car shopping I say not a chance.

So then she gives me her budget and specs and asks me to source a car for her. She doesn't work and does have access to the inernet. I find a few and email her but she doesn't respond. So I call her and I was quite angry at this point saying, so this isn't urgent then, she replies with oh sorry I was having a lie down and anyway I don't do computers. So I told her what I'd found. She liked the sound of one of them but didn't want to catch a bus or get a taxi to the showroom so would I ask the manager to pick her up!and it had to be first thing on her first day here she couldn't possibly wait for dh and mechanic friend to finish work.

I didn't know the guy, I'd never done any business with him before I just googled English speaking second hand car dealers in the area and made that clear to her. Anyway to my absolute shock he agreed to pick her up at her specified time. Although he was 5 minutes late and she phoned me to complain about that. I had a go at her at that point saying she's lucky I'm not charging her for my time, I'd call the bloke to find out where he was but she needs to reimburse my phone credit which she agreed.

Anyway bloke turned up. She went to the showroom. She bought the car. Bloke and car were dodgy. She expected me to sort it and accused me of exploiting her and making commission out of it. I never spoke to her again but dh refused to sack her as a client. We now do the bear minimum and only deal with her husband but they haven't paid us for 6 months. She didn't pay that phone credit either.

DownstairsMixUp Thu 14-Aug-14 10:06:35

My DP gets the odd favour off a guy who runs a shop but in return he has to sort his pain in the arse daughters car when it has issues (which is always as she can't drive and doesn't look after the car) she's a spoiled little madam, hence her never taking the car to her garage and daddy running round getting my dp to sort it for her but she's very moany if things are "overpriced" I remember her moaning once for DP asking for a tenner for labour! Also she stropped when he couldn't do the car when he had a full time job working six days a week, 12 hours a day so was just too exhausted from work and sundays he wanted with his family. The latest is her car is due for MOT (our baby is coming c section 29th of august) and she's wanting everything done for then despite knowing i am having surgery and dp will be snowed under with a new baby, a recovering fiance and our 5 year old starting school. hmm the worst thing is the things her dad gives my DP don't cost him ANY money and he doesn't go out his way at all anyway, DP has to go to HIM and collect it! DP maintains they are helpful but she's such a pain in the arse I'd rather go without. One week she was calling every single day and if he didn't answer she'd get her dad to call for her (she's 28 btw so not a young girl)

We also have a fair amount of space front of the house so we said to a, now ex friend, he could store his car there for 2 weeks but then it MUST go as we needed the space for a project my DP was working on. 2 weeks turned into two months, the car was left in bits on the front drive, he'd turn up daily to repair it then knock on the door to ask DP's advice all the time as he was clueless about cars anyway and was reading out of haynes manual trying to brake it. Needless to say, we never offered him the drive again. :S

Oooh also reminds me of another guy we lent the drive to. He got into a smash up in his expensive sports car, he knew a little bit about cars though so took it back and we said he could have 3 weeks of the drive to sort it out, he was pleased and said he'd be down every day fixing it so he could give us our space back. Anyway he turned up maybe once a week, sometimes never, and would expect DP's help to and the smashed car sat on our drive for 2months! When he finally got it done he didn't offer any money, no thanks! It was only when DP mentioned to him about it he begrudingly bought us a bottle of 70cl vodka (not even a litre! grin) Again, another friend we don't see nowadays.

CandODad Thu 14-Aug-14 10:20:44

Just remembered this one.

My dd died when I was 19, I was his next of kin being his only child and never being married to my mum. The house he lived in had previously been my grandparents house and had been left in a will for my dd to live in and then to be shared between me and my cousin. Since my cousins dd had died a few years before the house was to come to us in due course.

It was the day of my dd funeral, his coffin had just gone in the ground and my aunt looks at me and says "well, I suppose its all down to the solicitors sorting out the house now, will you make sure you clear it out quickly so your cousin isn't hanging around too long waiting for her share (cousin was only 15 so I suspect the aunt had designs on the she any way)

She got her come uppence though since she never knew there was a clause in the will saying neither of us could benefit till we were 21 so I really hope she never actually saw the money herself (strangely enough I never kept contact after that)

KenAdams Thu 14-Aug-14 10:32:55

We had an open bar at our wedding and there was more than enough to go round, which meant that there was some left over at the end. A friend of mine came up to me at the end and asked if they could have some to take back to their hotel to drink! I gave them one of the cheaper bottles of wine just because I needed to leave to go on honeymoon and she turned up her nose and said that wasn't exactly what she was after but she'd still take it in case anyone else wanted it! I was shock

WhereHas1999DissappearedToo Thu 14-Aug-14 10:51:30

My brother has and SIL have brass necks the size of London. (have posted about them before)

Made my DM babysit their twins when they were small 9-5, 5 days a week when SiL was (quite) ill and then when DM also had to babysit their third child, no thank you, flowers/chocolate etc this carried on until the twins went to school (about 5 years), DM and DF had to move cities so getaway from it all. Then they went mad as they would have no one to babysit. DM has never offered or wanted babysit again sad (they twins were the first GC)

Also years later my brother is kitchen joiner and use to come up and stay for a few weeks at my parents, who were in their 70s and do some work where they live (two hours drive away) with all his mates/workers who got up at 5am every morning, make breakfast and then come in late sometimes after boozing and wake them up. Again never a thank you and treated the place like a Hotel.

SiL also use to get free magazines, coupons etc of my mum and brother always charges my parents when he does some minimum work on their house like put in a bench top on the kitchen. Who the fuck charges their own parents for some minor work on their house, (they are quite well off) I have never charged mum for doing her taxes, neither has my other brother for all the electrical work or my other brother who has bent over backward to help them.

They also built their 'dream house' and lived in it for a few years and then they sold it off because it was too big (we think because they're running out of money- brother sold his business and now is a real estate agent, SIL doesn't work due to health problems and has always free loaded off my family). And now live in my nephew's house on the cheapest rent possible but he's to kind to say anything.

They (and SIL family) have done many other hurtful things, not just to my parents but to myself and other brothers. We sadly think that SIL only married my brother for my parents wealth sad My brothers, mum and I have been NC with them since my DF funeral (July last year)

Sparklyglitter Thu 14-Aug-14 11:08:09

Came out of my house one day to find a painter for next door in my garden! No idea if he was there when I was getting dressed! :0(

Texted neighbour to ask if he needed to be in my garden.

Long and short I felt I had to agree to let him come in our garden as felt mean saying no even though it meant it was really inconvenient for me - never a thank-you or a sorry. Found out since legally they are not allowed to do this!

The only reason they needed to use my garden was because they didn't want to prune their bush!

I was ill at the time and all we had was a wooden screen up at our window and he could see straight into the bedroom where his ladder was!

Just wanted to cry! :0(

HPparent Thu 14-Aug-14 11:11:14

When DD1 was a young baby, I was exhausted as she screamed all the time. DH worked full time. FIL and MIL were planning a visit to London. MIL got a list of about 20 hotels from her travel agent and wanted DH to visit them all to see which was the nicest one (he worked in the tourist industry so was able to blag his way in). This took up two of his days off work until I begged him to stop.

When MIL came over, she said she was so worried about her precious son not having any time to himself!

In the end they stayed with us. We were pretty hard up but they didn't offer us a penny towards expenses. They didn't even bring anything for the baby. Though they managed to go to Brighton for the day and spend a huge amount on a lunch at some hotel. They were fucking selfish bastards - still are!

Salmotrutta Thu 14-Aug-14 11:13:29

Some of these are quite breathtaking on. The league table of Brass Neckdom!!

CeliaFate Thu 14-Aug-14 11:15:32

We have an apple tree in our garden. Sil comes along one day and says, "Get me a carrier bag." No please or will you.
I ask what it's for and she replies, "I'm taking a bag of apples home with me."
Like fuck she was! I would have willingly offered them if she'd asked politely, she never got so much as a pip after that.

murphys Thu 14-Aug-14 11:22:20

A mother of a girl in ds's dance class asked me if ds could go round to their house to do some of the routines with her dd that she had missed. Im not overly fond of the mother, but after two requests we agreed. As they don't live far, I dropped him off I didn't want to stay and socialize with said parent and went to do a bit of shopping before I collected him again. I pulled up at the house and the dd came out, said they were still busy and she would phone me when I should fetch ds. This was about 1pm. Around 3pm I still hadn't had a phone call so I went to the house to get him anyway.

When I got to the house there were no cars outside. I rang the bell and ds answered. I asked him where everyone was. He said that the mother and the dd were invited to another friends, and so they went and left my ds at their house.... the older brother was there whom we have never ever met, and ds was sat there watching tv on his own! Ds said he was to shy to ask the older brother to use his phone as the friends mother said she would call me to fetch ds on the way to going to their friends house. She never did! I was bloody spitting mad. Ds was 10 at the time.

PiratePanda Thu 14-Aug-14 11:42:39

Back in the day when I was still a professional musician:

Wife of the head of a small local charity told me they'd recently had to tighten their belts a bit and could no longer afford PFB's violin lessons. So, as her DH was a charity worker, would I mind if I gave her DD her weekly violin lessons for free?

I then had to explain that a) PFB's violin lessons were hardly a necessity, and b) violin teaching was my livelihood! How did she think I was going to pay my bills if I gave her DD free lessons?

Charities (especially churches) are the worst for assuming professional musicians, dancers, artists, designers, sound technicians, etc would just be delighted to proffer their labour free of charge or for a pittance.

Fine if you ask nicely, recognise you're asking a massive favour, and accept graciously if we say no. You can FO to the far side of F if, when we say no, or "yes, I'll give you mates' rates my fee will be X", you do a catsbum mouth or try to guilt us or, worst of all, get angry and abuse us.

CallieG Thu 14-Aug-14 11:46:53

I discovered one of my daughters friends had stolen a nintendo game boy and a pokemon game from her, I was very upset as they had been friends for years and she had spent a lot of time in my home. I called the girls father and he went through her room and found the said items. He made her bring them back and she was supposed to apologize, when she got to my door she flung the items at me & said "I've been grounded for 2 months because of you , you bitch whore". Her father called me about 15 minutes later , after running all the way home she had arrived crying and she had wet her pants; I tell you right now, if I had been able to jump the front gate she would have had a smacked face too. She was 15 I was 42. She never showed her face at my door again.

murphys Thu 14-Aug-14 11:52:26

Cheerful gawd, she certainly sounds like hard work.

A couple of years back DP and I agreed to host PILs for Xmas. Money was tight, so for several months we bought a couple of extra things per week in our weekly shop and set it aside for Xmas. This included a lot of spirits, as PILs drink like fish.

The day before they were due to arrive, PILs texted DP to say that they wouldn't be coming down. This was a bit annoying as we'd put so much effort into making it nice but figured we'd enjoy ourselves anyway.

A couple of days later they decided they would pop down for New Year instead. We already had plans but rearranged them as DP didn't get to see them very often because they were so flakey. They weren't sure when they would leave but would "let us know".

DP had to work one of the days (retail) and I wanted to go to the sales, but they said they would be fine at home on their own so we went ahead. Came back to find that they'd left, taking with them all the alcohol and 90% of the food and leftovers, plus the TV out the kitchen "because it will run on the battery in our van." (It belonged to my brother, it wasn't even ours!)

Needless to say they brought nothing with them in the way of food, drink or even gifts (we had spent probably £50 each on their presents).

XP couldn't see the problem and thought I was being stingy. (He is now XP.)

So many cheeky people about!

Recently we had a mystery bush nicker. This is our first summer in our new house and SOMEONE in the middle of the night, using shears, lopped off the middle top section of our hydrangea bush! Our next door neighbour is aghast thinking we may accuse her, she informed us it happened last year too! The bush is in our front garden quietly bothering nobody, poor thing.

But the really cheeky story is about 20yrs old. When living in a shared student house, a very unfriendly and yobbish co-tenant asked if his mate could stay in my room as I was going to be away for the night. I said no and locked the room. When I returned he had kicked the door in, smashing all the door frame so his mate could use it! Never even explained or apologised. My dad had to drive over and fix it all. What a knob.

I put curry powder in his marmalade as revenge smile

fackinell Thu 14-Aug-14 12:55:07

I repeatedly and politely let my new neighbours know that the washing line in the shared garden was put up by me and used daily but to please feel free to use the other poles with one of their own. Every day I went down and their things were on mine. One day I'd had enough, I took their things down and left them in carrier bags by their door. After using it again I finally lost it and put a note through saying 'GET YOUR OWN FUCKING WASHING LINE!!' They cut mine in half and made their own with MY line!! angry

I'd also informed them that the BBQ, table and chairs were ours after I saw then using them. I asked that they at least clean the racks and ask permission if they could use them in future (the racks remained unwashed.) Following week, another BBQ which she denied although I could see her clearly out of my window. The second it had cooled the whole fucking lot (washing line included) was taken to the MIL's around the corner.

I can still drop a bollock if someone brings this up now!! grin

fackinell Thu 14-Aug-14 12:58:57

I haven't had time to read the whole thread yet so apologies if it's on here. Does anyone remember the couple with the Timeshare who neighbours begged them to use it? I don't want to spoil the story but it was hilarious!! I've forgotten my PW to go on MN on PC, can anyone remember it to link? grin

HazleNutt Thu 14-Aug-14 13:57:40

yes Mexican house thief has been linked.

Mine was a bastard ex. I was totally in love, thought he was the love of my life, that kind of thing. We lived in different countries, saw each other about once per month. I was visiting him and he dumped me. No warning, totally out of the blue. I was of course in shock. His reaction: "Well, that's nothing. When my ex broke up with me, it was so much harder for me!".

The next morning - I was falling apart and barely able to function by then - he dropped me at the airport, even though my plane was only in the evening. Because it would otherwise ruin his day, to see me cry, you see.

YouTheCat Thu 14-Aug-14 14:02:22

My ex mil has a huge holly tree in her front garden. She went ballistic when she found one of the florists from the local market helping herself.

HPparent Thu 14-Aug-14 14:12:48

Reminds me of DD2 (15) on a recent DofE trip she and her friends walked through what she insists was an Edamame bean field - well some sort of bean anyway - and she and her friends just decided to snack out on beans though another friend begged them not to.

I was quite shocked actually!

BlinkAndMiss Thu 14-Aug-14 14:18:33

My ExB was probably the best brass necked person I've ever met. When we first got together he was convinced he was going to be a famous musician. He wanted a new amp for gigs, we went shopping for one and I was initially perplexed as to why he wanted me to go with him. It started to make sense when at the till he decided he was getting it on credit - in my name, well his credit was too bad to be accepted. So like a mug I agreed.

6 months later and a third of the way into monthly payments from my bank account he decided that he'd seen a better amp, one which would allow him to play bigger venues so he was going to buy it. He rang me one day asking for a lift to a 'friend' in a town about an hour away, I agreed and picked him up along with his amp. I dropped him and the amp off and said bye, he replied with "oh no just wait there I'll only be 5 minutes". Then he ran off, leaving me confused.

He came back, within 5 minutes, but minus the amp. Turns out he'd sold it and got money so that he could buy the new amp. He hadn't bloody paid for it in the first place and I was still footing the bill for the monthly payments.

The same ExB was moving away shortly after we split up. He'd got a new GF by this point but was still contacting me regularly. He rang me the evening he was due to leave the country and told me how much he regretted our break up (my decision I hasten to add!) and that he wanted to see me to talk about some of the issues that had been left unfinished. He sounded genuine, I knew it wasn't a case of wanting to get back together, so I agreed to meet him. I pulled up outside his house, he came out with a massive suitcase and a holdall. He said "you don't mind running me to the airport whilst we chat, do you?" He airport is 2 hours away from us and it was 9pm.

To make matters even worse, he didn't apologise for any of the crap he had put me through and the reason he'd called me was because his new GF's car had broken down and she couldn't take him! She was actually flying out the next month to meet him once he'd got settled. It was rather satisfying to see the arse leave the country though.

I have no idea why I was even with him in the first place.

mineofuselessinformation Thu 14-Aug-14 14:57:47

The holly one has reminded me:
My sister has several cherry trees in her garden. A few years back, she noticed an old lady with a bucket, helping herself to them. My sister hasn't had the heart to tell her to stop (she comes back each year) as there are plenty... But she did draw the line when two years ago said lady asked her if she had a ladder! shock

HazleNutt Thu 14-Aug-14 15:00:34

Copied from the Mexican house thief thread:

Pandemoniaa Thu 18-Apr-13 19:53:00

We've got a gooseberry bush in our garden. Because I live out in the wilds, we don't tend to have fences but it's bleedin' obvious that the bush is in a garden and that the garden it is in is ours.

One summer afternoon I came home to find an elderly lady, armed with a carrier bag, rootling discontentedly in said bush. Before I had the chance to ask what she was doing in there she said "This is really not good enough! Last year your gooseberry bush was full of fruit but it's all gone!" When I politely pointed out that this was because we'd eaten our own gooseberries she replied with "Well that's the giddy limit! I've got friends coming to dinner tonight and I'd promised them a gooseberry tart for pudding. I've driven all the way out here from Lewes especially to pick these gooseberries and now what am I supposed to do?"

Salmotrutta Thu 14-Aug-14 15:03:32


Did you tell her she was actually committing theft??

Nosynora Thu 14-Aug-14 15:04:56

A few years ago I was having coffee at a friends house .there was a funeral next door and people were congregating and despite them having a front garden and the shared drive between the houses they were congregating in my friends front garden . She has no nets and the sofa Was directly under the window so there's no way people wouldn't know anyone was in but obviously it being a funeral we said nothing as more and more people arrived and then a few sat down on her windowsill until eventually we were sat there practically in the dark as all these people blocked out the light.

stopprojecting Thu 14-Aug-14 15:08:39

A friend was married to a girl who drinks like a fish. We invited her for dinner a few times and she'd bring a box of wine and take it with her when she left. She would hoover up wine on nights out but never once bought me a drink. I never liked her. She would borrow books and not return them, dropped hints for me to give her my old laptop... we gave them the password for our wi-fi once when they came to visit and realised later they'd stopped by and downloaded loads of movies when we were away (just parked outside!!).

They split up but we still see each other socially sometimes. One night we were all at dinner at another friend's house. I had to leave early as I had my DS with me, and accidentally left my coat behind (with a brooch from my grandmother on it).

The following night we had another dinner out I'd organised in a restaurant (mutual friend was in town), and she turned up for that as well. I went over to say hello and recognised my coat on the back off her chair (well, the brooch, the coat was just dark and grey and nondescript).

"Oh you brought my coat back. I left it behind last night." I say.

"Oh, what??"

"My coat, this is mine!"

"Oh, is it?"

"Yes, thanks for bring it back."

She was very frosty and abrupt about it.

I realised later she was annoyed because she'd simply appropriated it for herself, and had no intention of returning it to me. If I hadn't spotted the brooch I never would have seen it again.

cookiemonster100 Thu 14-Aug-14 15:13:39

Another one!
My SIL is getting married next month using the money from a minor windfall she got thru. However none of this money is being spent on the guests, we have to buy our own food & drink. No wedding breakfast here.
The windfall has gone on all things for bride & groom ie honeymoon, cake, photographer, car for her etc etc.
she asked if we would like to buy her wedding dress as a present (err no love we don't).
I have booked a baby sitter for the evening & now she has found out via MIL she is trying to palm her kid off onto baby sitter too. I suggested splitting the bill but she couldn't understand why I wasn't going to pay for her childcare.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig Thu 14-Aug-14 15:22:39

Ooh, just thought of a small one.

We live down a dead end road and opposite our driveway is an entrance to a field. People quite often drive up our road, it's only about twenty yards, turn round in the field entrance and go off again.

If the farmer has left a tractor or trailer or something in the field entrance, they just turn round in our driveway. Occasionally I've been driving out in my car and had to wait for someone to turn round on my drive first.

The best one was when I came home and followed a small silver fiesta into our road. I didn't recognise the car and assumed it was turnng round. There was a tractor parked in the field entrance so the fiesta pulled into our drive, did a little three point turn, whilst I'm sitting out in the road waiting, and then the little lady stopped and waved me past.

I did a furious 'Out!' gesture. She had the temerity to look affronted as she drove off. I'll bloody block her in next time I see her.

PerfectlyPosed Thu 14-Aug-14 15:25:27

I've been reading this most of today and laughing along but struggling to think of something of my own. Until now...

At the weekend, I attended a BBQ and took with me, amongst other things, a half bottle of gin from home. I am pregnant so thought it pointless to have it at home anymore. Another of my friends also took a similar amount of gin that she obviously had left over (this friend is known for being quite tight with her money so I would be very surprised if she bought it). The host decided, as they were the same brand, to mix the two bottles together. I have just found out that my other friend, when she left, took the entire bottle away with her despite having spent the afternoon eating the hosts food and drinking the copious bottles of Prosecco provided! I am shocked! Obviously, I didn't want mine back but it should have been left as a contribution to the host, surely?!

HolePunchFour Thu 14-Aug-14 15:28:57

I now have permission to post:

Mr My Dates Should Be Secret Millionaires or Heiresses Of Royal Blood : grin

Friend of mine went on an online date with an artist. Long distance for first meet, his suggestion, both were enthusiastic.

He seemed fun, a little eccentric. My friend is Asian British: her parents are from X country although she was born up North.

She is concentrating on unpaid creative work so does the whole "living frugally, low level day job balancing act". Insists on paying her half when dating, has savings.

During their first date, he mentioned "let's pretend you're a secret member of the royal family of X country" lunatic signs already hmm

But: she thought it was a random creative thing to say. It went well, he seemed handsome, they spent the night together.

So - he was in the TA and was going to Afghanistan soonish.

She decided to go up to London to see him off beforehand. She e-mailed, suggested meeting for the evening, he came back with "stay all weekend". All seemed well.

Again, he asked if she was a secret member of the Royal Family of X country.

He then asked if she was secretly loaded (she'd been quite clear about her job, background, paid her half and then some).

As soon as he found out she wasn't, in fact, secretly Princess Charmaine of X country, or some secret millionairess, he then went very, very cold and disappointed shock

(my friend has a theory that his family went broke/poor at some point in their past, then his mother had implanted in his aging Hooray Henry mind that he was "entitled" to marry some uber rich/royal family and despite being dirt poor himself was naturally superior to the plebs hmm

And that at some point Princess Charming would recognise his superior blood and sweep him off his feet into a tropical palace)

She mentioned "I'm thinking of going on X course in a few years time".

"WHO'S PAYING FOR IT! NOT ME!" he shrieked.

She went out for the day in London, alone, as it seemed the romance was dead, and asked if she could borrow his A-Z.

He said "don't steal it".

Have entertained in laws Christmas day for the last 5 years. This year we told them we were having Christmas on our own and going to the local pub. Went out with them two weeks later and MiL announced she had called local pub and added 2 to our table.

Fast forward to two weeks ago, we were returning from holiday when she called and asked if she could get us a cooked chicken for dinner. DH thanks her and could she also pick up some new potato's and some salad, she got the right hump and mumbled something about taking the piss. She has to pass the veg to get to the chickens FFS !

So we get home, chicken, salad are on the side along with receipt for £8.
Next day we pop over to collect DD (she has her one day a week) and DH gives her the £8 and then told her she owed him £40 deposit for Christmas lunch as he had had to pay deposit for 5 people before we left for holiday.
She had the bloody cheek to say "Oh I thought you would treat us to that"
DH being quick said "well I thought you would have treated me to a bloody chicken !"

StackladysMorphicResonator Thu 14-Aug-14 16:12:35

My ex mil has a huge holly tree in her front garden. She went ballistic when she found one of the florists from the local market helping herself.

This reminds me of an incident involving my friend's dad. He also had a holly tree, and had noticed it getting progressively balder as November turned into December. One day he arrived home from work (he's a police officer) to find a woman (who turned out to own a florist down the road) lopping off a couple of entire branches. He walked up to her (in uniform) and asked her what she was doing. She replied that she was pruning her friend's tree as a favour. My friend's dad replied that it looked like she was vandalising someone else's property, and was she aware that this was criminal damage? She started ranting at him, saying it was her friend's tree and she didn't have to explain herself to him, he had no right to be questioning law-abiding citizens and why didn't he go and catch a real criminal...etc.

He patiently allowed her to rant on for some time, before calmly informing her that it was in fact his house and his tree that she was denuding. Her face, apparently, was an absolute picture!

The upshot was that she apologised profusely and was crying so hysterically that my friend's dad actually invited her inside to sit down and called her husband to come and collect her (who was not impressed at his wife's criminal damage in a policeman's garden!) rather than arresting her. The next day a lovely bottle of champagne was left on the doorstep with a note of apology, and the tree remained untouched thereafter!

MrsFruitcake Thu 14-Aug-14 16:37:42

Mine still makes me angry.

We'd saved and saved for a really lovely travel system/pram for DS, it cost a fortune (almost £600) and when he outgrew it about a year later and we changed it for a smaller pushchair, I offered it to my pregnant cousin on my Dad's side who we never saw much of. She seemed to be in need and was always stating how poor she was. She lives about 250 miles from me so I paid for it to be sent to her home, arrives and she says thanks via FB.

Two months or so later, and with her DC now born, she posts lots of pictures of the baby in a very different pram. I asked her why she wasn't using it and she said it broke, the wheel fell off and was dangerous and why did I give it to her if I knew it was damaged. It was a year old, immaculate and well made.

I suspect she sold it, though when I asked for the truth about it, she de-friended me so I never will know!

SwedishSheepHerder Thu 14-Aug-14 17:07:25

This happened to my friend B, who had neighbour from hell (NFH).

NFH had a massively overgrown bush/tree on the boundary between his garden and B's garden. NFH asked B to prune it because B has a hedge trimmer. B agreed because it was getting dangerously lop-sided and because he knew he'd never see the trimmer again if he lent it to him

NFH expected B to clear up afterwards too. B squashed that bit of brass neck straight off but compromised on them each clearing what fell in their own gardens. It was way way more overgrown on NFH's side.

B spent flipping ages pruning while NFH looked on barked directions

Finally finished, B took a wheelbarrow load out to his green bin. When he came back he found that NFH had chucked all of his waste over the fence into B's garden! shock

WhatWouldCaitlinDo Thu 14-Aug-14 17:07:51

When I was house sharing one of my flat mates had a friend to stay. I came home from work late and found said friend IN MY BED. I woke her up and told her in no uncertain terms to get out and she had the cheek to be grumpy with me! Apparently she thought I wasn't coming home as I wasn't in bed by 10pm. She stayed for 3 weeks, not contributing a penny to the household (not even a pint of milk) and during her stay she ripped the inflatable mattress I lent her by DANCING on it in high heels, and took my picnic blanket on the sunniest day of the year.
When I complained to my flatmate, she said it was "like living with Grandma".

MerdeAlor Thu 14-Aug-14 17:16:03

StackLady that is brilliant, she was caught in the act good and proper. That must have been so satisfying for him.

GemmaTeller Thu 14-Aug-14 17:38:33

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig I would have gone apeshit

I HATE people three point turning on our driveway.

We live on a lane facing fields, a house three doors up was having loads of work done and we are the only house without gates or a wall at the front (we have shrubbery). After three days of wagons and lorries reversing on our drive to turn round I starting leaving my car parked at the bottom of the driveway.

Nosynora Thu 14-Aug-14 17:54:27

When I was online dating I went for a meal with somone . Despite saying I'd had a curry the night before and would prefer to have something different he insisted we go to an Indian resteraunt where he proceeded to order numerous dishes . I ordered one dish and when it arrived he asked if he could try it , fair enough except he tipped over half of it onto his plate and then said I'd offer you some of mine but as you've had them before it would be a waste !
When the bill came he said we will go halves shall we and I ended up paying nearly thirty quid for half a plate of keema peas and a diet coke and to top it off when we left the manager gave me a loyalty voucher as I'd eaten there a fair bit and my date took it out of my hands saying he deserved it more than me because I worked and he didn't .
Strangely we never had a second date .

swampytiggaa Thu 14-Aug-14 18:08:06

My brother had a house on a corner. The road at the front of his house was always busy so he parked his car at the side of his house on the other road.

One night my brother was coming home from the pub and saw someone sitting in his car.

'You OK mate? Got a problem?' He asked.

Yeah says the bloke. I can't get my car to start. Could you give me a push?

Brother suggests to him that it might be easier to try using the keys that he (my brother) had in his pocket smile

Bloke scarpered smile

Ebayaholic Thu 14-Aug-14 18:23:50

A neighbour offered to take my keys while we were on holiday to look after the house then promptly moved in her son and his girlfriend for the two weeks without asking! I only found out when they accidentally set the burglar alarm off while drunk and a neighbour went over then phoned me.

The next year I gave the keys to a different neighbour and first neighbour went round there after we had gone to ask to borrow the keys because she was worried her cat was locked in my house! The cat never came near our house! Second neighbour refused to hand keys over and offered to check the house for the missing cat and first neighbour said no don't bother.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter Thu 14-Aug-14 19:10:20

Is it just me or does anyone else get the urge to round up all the selfish twits described in this thread and ring their collective brass neck!?

Donnakim Thu 14-Aug-14 19:39:44

This kind of stuff does make me wish that public flogging could be brought back...

DH was at a party few years back, and a random woman walked in and literally threw her car keys at him telling him to get her bags out for her. DH is an arsey bugger at the best of times, if you don't know how to handle him. He didn't even try to catch the keys, just let them hit him and fall to the floor. Then he walked off. Classic.

I walked into my testing room (in a well known high street opticians) and found a Locum going through the things on my desk. When challenged, he looked down his nose at me and told me the store manager said he could help himself to whatever he needed in here and I could go to her if I wasn't happy. Me being a woman many years younger than him he clearly thought he could treat me like crap. I straightened my back and walked up to him pointing to my name badge. "I'm the Director, and you are going through my belongings. If you want to keep working here, you can get out of my room and bring your own stuff in future." He went white as a sheet and never came back.

Salmotrutta Thu 14-Aug-14 19:50:03

Loving the Policeman's Holly Tree story - sweet! grin

CruCru Thu 14-Aug-14 19:50:52

I used to have a school friend who accepted endless lifts off my Mum but whose parents never, even once, gave me a lift.

mrsnec Thu 14-Aug-14 20:05:17

I think I've fallen for it so many times because the bare faced cheek is always preceeded with 'but of course I'd do the same for you' no, I don't think you would!

There are some absolute corkers on here though.

pluCaChange Thu 14-Aug-14 20:12:09

I read a rather minority subject at university, and there was generally only about one of us in the college per year, so we were fairly chummy and shared resources. However, when the first-year told me (then a 4th year) that my essay had been marked as a first, I was VERY unimpressed by the attempted buttering up. Given the expression I gave him then, I was pretty shocked when he asked again for an essay and seemed shocked at my refusal! Lazy so-and-so, he got himself into Cambridge, so why couldn't he continue writing his own essays?!

expatinscotland Thu 14-Aug-14 20:16:54

People can only take the piss when you let them. Well done to all those who tell them to sling their hooks.

Ok, just remembered a really good one.

My mate (who is lovely) lent someone some money, because this other woman had a sob story about being kicked out of her home and struggling. She then lent her car so this woman could move house.

My mate was in an abusive marriage, and really, seriously having a shit time - but she figured friends support each other.

This other woman took her car, got a parking ticket on it ... and then refused to pay the ticket as it wasn't her car. She went silent about the money and pretended to be shocked and aggrieved when it was brought up. My mate was properly skint at this point, and coping with breakdown of her marriage and moving halfway across the world, so it's not as if she could spare the cash.

We only found out when we discovered she'd been approaching loads of us with the same hard-luck story. It'd be lovely to believe that people only take the piss when you let them, and if only you stand up to them it'll be ok, but unfortunately, some people's brass neck knows no bounds. We all confronted the scammer, but she brazened it out. The really sad thing is, she has children and she is exposing them to all of that, which is pretty shit.

gertiegusset Thu 14-Aug-14 20:36:58

I remember that LRD, weren't they both Mumsnetters?

Dunno, but my mate was (and AFAIK is, though not seen her post in a while) on here. The other woman was more likely just a bit of a scammer.

Reminds me of a lot of the trolls we've had on here, though. I can't get my mind around people who do that.

Smilesandpiles Thu 14-Aug-14 20:51:27

I remember a brass neck MNer.

Around christmas a few years ago, pleaded poverty, gave a very good story, a whip round via paypal was organised...lots of lovely mners contributed, even a food shop was arranged IIRC.

a few months or weeks later was caught on a thread talking about a brand new car she just bought.

hollycomputer Thu 14-Aug-14 21:10:30

I was telling a colleague today about this thread and she told me about when she got married a couple of years ago.

She had arranged for someone to come along and do hair and makeup for her, her sister and her mum. She also offered it to her future MIL who accepted. MIL then proceeded to invite five other female friends to have their hair and makeup done without consulting the bride. Not only that but she told her friends the bride was paying. It was only on the actual day that she told the bride she'd invited these friends which apparently caused all kinds of problems as obviously the hair and makeup people weren't expecting an extra five customers and everything was rushed.

When the bride asked her to contribute, the MIL got very arsey and said bride was getting it done anyway so couldn't see the problem, plus she didn't see why bride's family should look nicer than her friends.

hareinthemoon Thu 14-Aug-14 21:13:53

See, I know I'm supposed to find these funny - but a lot of them just actually make me cross.

Anyway: in my final year at uni I shared a flat with a girl who was an utter darling but also - perhaps fey would be the kindest way of describing it. She grew up in the wilds of some moorland place and just didn't really understand, or cope with, modern life. I really didn't understand how incapable she was of coping with things till later...

Also during my final year I met and fell in love with DH. We made plans to get married a few months after graduation. Then I found out my mum was dying and could not fly out to be at our wedding and so DH and I decided to get married where she lived instead. We talked this over with Dear Flatmate and she said she could easily get someone, in fact knew of someone, to take over our room and pay rent etc, ok all sorted. (It was frankly all a bit of a rush once we found out mum was dying.) So went over, got married, very quickly pregnant, and soon also grieving as mum died. Stayed a bit longer to sort out probate etc and help grieving siblings.

Got back to find that DF had stopped being able to cope without me there and had gone back to wild moorland. The person she had got in to share the flat had never paid a penny (contributing to lack of coping). When we arrived to sort out the flat there was a strange crusty asleep on the sofa who opened one eye at SiL (who had come to help clean) and said, "I hope you are not going to disturb me!" After giving very short shrift and sending her off with a flea in her ear we cleaned up - place had been turned into an utter dump; the bath was like a pig feeding trough. Eventually, when it looked nice and tidy, blokey who was supposed to be staying and paying rent turned up. We told him he had to leave - he was most put out. Just had time to have a nice bath and put a massive black ring around the tub again before leaving (without cleaning). I was a couple of thousand into my overdraft and had a CCJ from the water company from unpaid bills (I'd left a DD at the bank as back up should DF not find someone, or Crusty Blokey leave or something - no intimation that he was intending to just stay, fill up flat with crusty mates and never pay a fecking thing.) He said he'd pay up what he owed but never did - I still see his name on social media as we obviously have uni mates in common and I still get The Rage (over the bath as much as anything else, bizarrely - SiL had scrubbed it so beautifully...)

cashmiriana Thu 14-Aug-14 21:17:21

This isn't half as bad as many here, but it still irritates me...

Returning home from a lovely holiday in Ireland, we got a late ferry at the end of August, and of course it was pretty busy. Having arrived quite early, I was pleased to get a bench seat in the film lounge for me and the 2 DC while DH sat a little way off in an armchair (as he didn't want to see the film) that gave him more legroom.

The ferry was packed by the time a young back packing couple arrived, only to discover of course that there was no room anywhere. After a couple of minutes, the young woman very politely asked if she could sit on the end of 'our' bench. I got the DC to move up and the three of us were just about ok.

Until however I stood up to get something out of a bag for DD2, and when I turned back around, the young backpacker was now lying along the bench seat, taking up most of it, with her face turned away from us and her earphones in. The DC were now perched on the edge!

I tried talking to her nicely, and even tapped her arm, but she just totally ignored me. Short of physically pulling her off the seat there was nothing else I could do.

lavenderhoney Thu 14-Aug-14 21:37:59

Just remembered another- I'd just had a baby and I'd been given lots of very expensive and delicious chocolates. A friend came over and spotted them. She are quite a few then on leaving, said " have you got a bag, as I'd love to take some home with me, you'll be watching your weight now you've just had a baby!" I was so amazed I said, whilst watching her take about 20- umm, dh likes them..

Oh, she also changed her baby whilst she was there and I found the pooey nappy bag behind the sofa after she had gone. I pulled her up on it, and She said she thought I had a cleaner so it didn't matter shock

sallysparrow157 Thu 14-Aug-14 21:53:31

I grew up in a relatively small community. A woman working in the same industry as my parents phoned my mum one night absolutely distraught. Her eldest daughter away in uni had got herself 'in trouble' and she needed money she didn't have to make this trouble go away, but no one must know as it was all so shameful (I never found out the nature of the 'trouble')
My mum being kind/soft immediately wrote her a cheque (several hundred, we could afford it but not pennies). Woman and daughter suddenly seem to have even more designer clothes than usual. My mum confides in mutual friend. Who has heard same story and also written a cheque.
Basically woman had run up debts buying designer clothes for her and daughter. Panicked, couldn't pay debts so phoned up everyone she knew with sob story about daughter's 'trouble', got loads of money from people, brought more clothes (don't think she even paid off the debts!)

mignonette Thu 14-Aug-14 21:55:14

Some pretty brazen brass neck comments in the past from Mumsnetters about what they want the site to be like/change to/revert back to.

Considering the site is free at POA, the demands, complaints and over sense of entitlement can be alternately hilarious and shock


textbook Thu 14-Aug-14 21:59:13

My favourite ever was in Rome, queuing in St Peter's Square to get into the Basilica. Loooong queue, hot day, but people are joining the back and waiting fairly patiently... except two nuns, who started at the back of the line, but talking animatedly to each other and looking very innocent, kept sidling forwards and slotting back into the queue.

They were behind us when we joined, but cleared the line in under 10 minutes - we all just grinned wryly and allowed them to continue unchallenged while we ordinary folks waited for nearly an hour. I think the assumption was that nuns are allowed to queue-jump at the Vatican grin

Thorpster500 Thu 14-Aug-14 22:00:42

Could write a book on my SIL who believes the entire world revolves around her and other human beings are mere minions put on earth to serve her. One of her best/worst was when she was driving her fiancée (now ex!) to the train station. They were running late, which was down to her taking ages to get ready. She was speeding, got caught on camera and received a fine through the post. She fully expected her fiancée to pay the fine as it was "his fault" that she had to make the journey at all! Just a drop in the ocean.....

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig Thu 14-Aug-14 22:13:19

Smilesandpiles I remember a thread a Christmas or two ago where a MNer was sadly saying about what an austere time she was having and how she couldn't afford the food shop, or something. I pm'd her and sent her £20. She seemed so nice and so grateful. shock

Nomama Thu 14-Aug-14 22:14:41

Oh! I don't think I have ever told anyone about this... christmas presents from BIL/SIL

We always gave it thought, when we were still acting politely. One year we got her a voucher for the local salsa club. She had tried it on holiday and loved it. I included a CD and wrote up a card with the pubs/venues that held dance nights. For him we did what we always did - walked into the most unlikely shop we could find and bought the most horrendous shirt we could see. They always looked hideous in the shop but he always looked absolutely great in them - always! Even the pink monstrosity with matching tie... the photos of him in that get up are really good,.

DH got a lighter and I got... oh you have no idea how much this hurt at the time. I mean, what kind of woman does this to another woman?... I got the plastic necklace you get as a free gift with your first catalogue order! I kid you not.

I had my revenge... I wore it to her birthday party and gushingly told people who had given it to me smile

MehsMum Thu 14-Aug-14 22:15:55

Thorpster, you and I should get together to write 'SILs from Hell'. I had to be careful what I posted about mine on this thread as I didn't want to be identified, but she is legendary.

Favouritepants Thu 14-Aug-14 22:18:47

I used to work selling hot food at a famous food market in London. The food critic AA Gill came one morning, ordered some food and then sauntered off without paying. He was wearing women's sunglasses too. What a bellend.

Salmotrutta Thu 14-Aug-14 22:19:11

Never underestimate a nun I always say.

When we were in Rome and visiting various chapels etc. to see the artworks they were very fierce! shock

Nomama, that's brilliant!!!

How did people react to that?

& did your SIL find out that you'd told everybody?

Acolyte Thu 14-Aug-14 22:36:53

Last year, my dh and I leant my father £3k, with the promise he would pay it back in X months.
X months plus some passed and I text him to ask if/when we would be seeing the money.

He text back saying that things were tight and to be patient and "oh yes, would we be able to lend him the same amount again, just for a month"!

Erm, no dad, we won't confused

thenightsky Thu 14-Aug-14 22:38:18

pants not surprised... always thought AA Gill looked like an entitled twat.

Donnakim Thu 14-Aug-14 22:38:52

Just thought of another one!

We live in a cul-de-sac which links to several others by footpaths between the houses. Several houses are along those paths with no direct road access. There is an older chap who runs private music lessons along the path that runs outside our house.

Few winters back I drove home in horrible wind and rain after work to find a 4x4 parked in my drive outside our house. It wasn't a car a recognised, and DH was driving a dirty great van at that point, so I knew it wasn't him. I parked behind it after waiting with my indicator going for a while, and tapped on the window.

A rather snotty woman was in there, and when I asked her to move she refused. She was waiting for her PFB to come out of the music teacher's house. I suggested she wait not 10yards up the hill so I could park in my drive, and she looked at me like my head was swivelling!

"I can't let him walk in the dark on his own!"

I pointed out he wouldn't melt it he got wet, and that if she didn't move she was going to be blocked there by me, and then an angry white van man, and neither of us would move until after we had cooked, eaten and washed up.

She moved then, in a huff, but has never been seen again!