You daft apeth

(416 Posts)
Kasterborous Wed 30-Oct-13 08:50:24

No, not you but I heard this phrase yesterday and haven't heard it for ages. We used to say it when anyone had done something daft, but in a lighthearted way.

Another old favourite is 'crosspatch' as in 'don't be a crosspatch' when someone is being -well - cross.

Kasterborous Wed 30-Oct-13 08:52:57

Meant to add, so what are your favourite similar phrases that you don't hear much these days.

GiddyStars Wed 30-Oct-13 08:53:49

I say these to my DC. I'm in my twenties blush I think one day I just woke up and had turned into my mother...

I hope nobody comes along and says they have awful underlying connotations now!

thepurplepenguin Wed 30-Oct-13 08:54:59

I like it too, but isn't it daft ha'porth? Ie half a penny's worth...

Jacksterbear Wed 30-Oct-13 08:55:42

My great aunt used that phrase. Also, she used to call me a little rum'un (as in, funny little thing). I used to wonder, as a child, what on earth a Rumman was!

FacebookWanker Wed 30-Oct-13 08:55:46

'I'll be down on you like a ton of bricks'....perhaps it's just something that teachers say...

DanielHellHoundMcSpaniel Wed 30-Oct-13 08:57:14

My dad has taught DS1 to say "Xxxx Xxxx ain't no good, chop him up for firewood" about his baby brother which I remember my grandparents often saying to us as children and don't hear very much now. I haven't revealed the existence of the other two lines yet. (When he's dead we'll boil his head and eat him up with lava bread)

FacebookWanker Wed 30-Oct-13 09:00:53

FacebookWanker Wed 30-Oct-13 09:01:37
AnkaretLestrange Wed 30-Oct-13 09:02:16

Yes it's ha'porth or something. Means half a penny,

I always say wreck of the Hesperus about the state of my hair.

AnkaretLestrange Wed 30-Oct-13 09:02:39

Or the wild woman of Borneo, whoever she was.

Lurleene Wed 30-Oct-13 09:06:24

Oh I always thought it was daft dapeth blush. I feel silly now.

Mind you I always thought the saying was "your room looks like a bomsytit" til I got called out on it as an adult.

roadwalker Wed 30-Oct-13 09:07:07

I use ha'porth all the time- the kids think I'm nuts! I have just learned how to spell it
I also say- I'm not standing around like cheese at 4pence- when waiting for them
I use wild woman of Borneo to describe my or DD's hair

AnyCluffyflumpFucker Wed 30-Oct-13 09:10:47

I love 'daft apeth'! I use it on my lot. I did think an Apeth was a huge, hairy, creature, like 'big foot' grin.

DH tells DC to 'pack it in!'.
I always laugh and tell him that it's such a Dad thing to say. I have only ever heard Dads say it and I thought it was left back in the 80s!

DawnOfTheDee Wed 30-Oct-13 09:11:09

Aw that brings back memories of childhood. My dad was forever calling me a daft apeth.

I also got called Madam Patty if I was being, well, a little madam. Apparently Madam Patty was a welsh opera singer. This may have been specific to my family.

Oh and a 'cotton picking nuisance'. Very old school....

DawnOfTheDee Wed 30-Oct-13 09:12:04

I thought an apeth was a big foot too AnyCluffy!

Also, vexed. Vexed is a dad word too.

TrumptonVandal Wed 30-Oct-13 09:14:49

"Bomsytit" grin PMSL!

AnkaretLestrange Wed 30-Oct-13 09:15:13

Get stuffed is such a retro insult I think.

AnkaretLestrange Wed 30-Oct-13 09:16:19

Or if there is no pop in the house I tell dd to drink some cooperation pop.

Pop! That is also so old fashioned. Like bottles of panda pop which the milkman used to deliver.

Lovecat Wed 30-Oct-13 09:18:16

I used looking like the Wreck of the Hesperus last week to some twenty-somethings and they looked at me like '....what?'

In our family we used to say Wild Woman of Borneo until Jonathan Ross (I think) popularised that cheesy film Wild Women of Wongo in the mid-80's, so that's what we tend to say now smile

A local one where I grew up was 'don't stand there like one of Lewises', which was a reference to the shop dummies in the window of Lewises Department Store in Liverpool (and not, as is commonly assumed, the nekkid statue on the front of the building with the enormous willy).

One my mum thankfully no longer says is 'you jammy Arab' to describe someone lucky. I'm not sure where Arab came into it, she's Irish and grew up in the Midlands...

We also use 'mither' for bother (as in 'sorry to mither you') which isn't heard so much these days.

GemmaTeller Wed 30-Oct-13 09:18:39

'get your neb out' as in 'don't be so nosy'

'going down t' ginnel' as in ' I'm going via the back street'

'chips wibbits' as in 'chips with batter scraps'

DH is a southerner, I wind him up all the time with northern phrases grin

DawnOfTheDee Wed 30-Oct-13 09:18:51

I still say 'a tin of fizzy pop'! People look at me like I should be on display somewhere...

We used to have a pop man that delivered. Our milkman was not into diversification.

GemmaTeller Wed 30-Oct-13 09:19:46

"Bomsytit" grin

AnkaretLestrange Wed 30-Oct-13 09:22:47

I love mithering, it's so northern.

I am from the west county, we call gym shoes daps, people from other parts of the country look hmm at the word and/or take the piss.

Lovecat Wed 30-Oct-13 09:23:03

We also have a family-only one that comes from my mum's childhood best friend and her habit of bringing her back a hideous ornament from their family holiday each year. "A present from Rhyl" is the phrase used to describe something utterly useless that normally you'd chuck away but manners/something else prevents you smile

KirjavaTheCorpse Wed 30-Oct-13 09:23:10


DameEdnasBridesmaid Wed 30-Oct-13 09:24:25

My mother uses almost all of the above.

Job's comforter is another one of hers.

Feeling as old 'as Methusalah'

GigiDarcy Wed 30-Oct-13 09:26:39

I am rather fond of 'it swings in roundabouts,' said it to my class once to utter incomprehension! My DM used to say 'come on you 3, form 4s' no idea where that comes from! Used to being called a daft ha'porth too. I call my class waffles, doughnuts and heffalumps!

DawnOfTheDee Wed 30-Oct-13 09:30:52

Lovecat - do our families must know each other. YY to wreck of the hesparus, mithering and jammy arabs. I also got 'you're like a wandering jew' if i was drifting around aimlessly hmm

A lot of my friends never got these at home....I think because my dad was a bit older than most.

DawnOfTheDee Wed 30-Oct-13 09:31:39

Ratbag! grin kirjava

I love this thread

catinboots Wed 30-Oct-13 09:32:53

I only learned quite recently on here that an 'apeth' wasn't a little ape blush

Jacksterbear Wed 30-Oct-13 09:33:23

I have never heard "jammy Arab" but used to hear "cheeky Arab" a lot.

mignonnette Wed 30-Oct-13 09:33:39

My Grand Father said 'Daft Apeth' and 'mardy'.

Loved them and miss him every time I hear these sayings.

Jacksterbear Wed 30-Oct-13 09:35:03

catinboots I always assumed an apeth was a big ape grin.

Dogonabeanbag Wed 30-Oct-13 09:39:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Reprint Wed 30-Oct-13 09:39:14

"stop standing there like piffy on a rockbun" and "I was standing there like piffy on a rockbun"

I never knew what piffy was! or why they would stand on a rockbun in the first place!!
Interestingly, I heard it from a stranger (at a party) early this year and asked if they had any idea of the origins.Nope!!

So if anyone does happen to know...... I'm standing here eagerly anticipating an answer, like piffy on the proverbial grin

vladthedisorganised Wed 30-Oct-13 09:45:17

Daft ha'porth is a favourite here too.

Other archaic phrases I seem to use more and more:
Mardy gowk
Face like a wet weekend
All fur coat and no knickers
Describing someone as 'soor-faced' - either DD in a sulk or a miserable adult.

I love the description of someone as 'a long drink of water' - fairly dull and a bit of a drip grin

AnkaretLestrange Wed 30-Oct-13 09:46:20

I only found out relatively recently that the Hesperus was a boat.

DawnOfTheDee Wed 30-Oct-13 09:47:18

Reprint I presume it means the same as 'standing there like a spare part'. Have no clue what a piffy or a rockbun actually is though!

Reminds me of 'ooh you're neither use nor ornament'.

Oh and if you were blocking the idiot box (telly) or something you'd get 'you weren't born in St Helens, were you?' bellowed at you. A reference to the glass making industry there.

HaroldLloyd Wed 30-Oct-13 09:48:03

Something knocks something into a cocked hat. Love that one.

My mum rolls her eyes and says pop thinks he's as flashy as a bonne marche shirt. Which was a shop considered very swishy in her day.

Or if someone runs about a bit rolls her eyes and says ooooo he's like a whirling dervish. I had to google that a while back and I think it's a crazy Turkish dance.

HaroldLloyd Wed 30-Oct-13 09:49:45

We used to say you think your chocolate but your poo in school.

So if someone is full of themselves still say he thinks he's chocolate.

vladthedisorganised Wed 30-Oct-13 09:52:36

Ooh Dawn that's interesting: I got 'you make a better door than a window' if blocking the TV. "Were you born in a barn?" was used if you left a door open.

Standing like a spare part sounds like a polite version of 'standing like a fart in a trance' which I love!

Yamyoid Wed 30-Oct-13 09:53:25

reprint you've reminded me, my mum used to say 'you're standing there like piffy' but my memory tells me she said miffy. I think that's my childhood brain turning it into a character I knew!

MrsDeVere Wed 30-Oct-13 09:53:55

Do you remember 'dirty little Araaab'?

I only realised it was Arab a few years ago shock

We had
I'll have yer guts fer garters
I will knock you into the middle of next week
Lady Muck
Who she fink she is? The Queen of Sheba?

stubbornstains Wed 30-Oct-13 09:54:07

Yes, my dad used to say "daft ha'porth" a lot, which I also took to mean a kind of ape grin. He also used to say "thick as a docker's sandwich" or "thick as two short planks". (He's still around by the way, but it seems he's forgotten all his London slang over the years).

Grandma used to call me "the wreck of the Hesperus" and the "Wild woman of Wonga" a lot, especially during the years I had dreads.

Another Londonism that I heard when I lived there was "Leave it for the sweep" if you drop a coin on the ground. I thought that was quite sweet.

rabbitlady Wed 30-Oct-13 09:54:33

my cousins would 'skrike'. i never did that. at home, we cried.
i know daft apeth/ha'porth/rum 'un/chop him up for firewood/ginnel/ mither.
the ex husband was frequently told by his mum 'you've a face that only a mother could love', which he felt was affectionate.
what are your soft, circular bread rolls called? ours were teacakes. rougher-bread ones were muffins, muffins were harder and flatter, chewy things good hot with butter and jam. sometimes we heard them called baps or barm cakes.

Nishky Wed 30-Oct-13 09:54:41

visited my 83 year old aunt yesterday and when talking about someone she worked with she said ' he had a bob on himself'

my children were very confused

MrsDeVere Wed 30-Oct-13 09:55:10

I never understood
'well it fits where it touches'
'well she's no better than she ought to be'

BlackStiltonBoots Wed 30-Oct-13 09:55:27

I also thought it was daft apeth (an apeth being an overgrown ape in my mind), was disappointed when I found out what it really was.

I call DC little ratbags all the time sometimes.

One that used to make me laugh was my Grandad saying he was so hungry he could eat a scabby donkey between two slabs of concrete grin.

funnyossity Wed 30-Oct-13 09:55:32

My Mum and Gran always used "wreck of the Hesperus" and when I asked what the Hesperus was they said they really didn't know but it must have been in a hell of a state!

Am liking piffy on a rockbun.

stubbornstains Wed 30-Oct-13 09:55:32

They used to call street urchins "street arabs" didn't they MrsDV ?

DawnOfTheDee Wed 30-Oct-13 09:55:38

vladthedisorganised I just spat coffee over the keyboard. I MUST use 'standing like a fart in a trance'. Why is this not in common usage..? grin

Yamyoid Wed 30-Oct-13 09:56:10

Also have a vague memory of being told 'you'll get a clout [sp?] around the ear'ole'! (Never did though)

Reprint - I use 'like piffy on a rockbun' too, but I am afraid I have no idea whatsoever where the phrase comes from - I just love it. DawnoftheDee - I always assumed that a rockbun was similar to a rock cake.

My dad used to call us rapscallions, if dsis and I were being cheeky.

Dogonabeanbag - I think it is 'swings or roundabouts' too - as in 'What you lose on the swings, you gain on the roundabouts' - I think that is the whole saying.

stubbornstains Wed 30-Oct-13 09:57:48

Oh yes, "I'll give you a thick ear!"

DawnOfTheDee Wed 30-Oct-13 09:57:54

Round bready type things: barmcakes.

Special round bready type things: oven bottoms (or oven bums in our house)

Large round bready type things: stotties

Yamyoid Wed 30-Oct-13 09:58:04

Ah yes, mrsD, guts fer garters was the one I was trying to remember smile

BlackStiltonBoots Wed 30-Oct-13 09:58:46

rabbitlady my Grandma says 'skriking' for crying, not heard her say it for a while.

Teacakes here for bread rolls, or currant teacakes for the sweet kind. I felt really odd when I moved to Manchester and had to ask for a 'barm'.

WhisperMen Wed 30-Oct-13 09:58:48

my nan used to say standing there like piffy on a rockbun too! no idea of the origins though.

another one was he's like a pig in a ginnel. meaning the man was bow legged.

chebella Wed 30-Oct-13 09:58:56

Not as green as he's cabbage-looking is a favorite of mine to describe someone canny.

Great thread. My dad uses 'corporation pop' for tap water.

My (Irish) granny used to threaten us with 'there'll be whigs on the green' - I think it means some sort of legal/judicial intervention would be required... She also used to threaten us with the 'sally rod' - no idea but you can sense the undercurrent of violence ha!

FunnysInLaJardin Wed 30-Oct-13 09:59:32

I love daft apeth. My mum also says 'all round the reeking' when it has taken her sometime to get somewhere. I think the 'reeking' is in Shropshire? Most likely not spelled like that either. And if something was dirty my dad would say 'black as Newgates knocker'

DawnOfTheDee Wed 30-Oct-13 09:59:54

'Has someone died then?' - said if you're trousers were too short (i.e. at half mast.

MrsDeVere Wed 30-Oct-13 10:00:22

stubborn yes A'raaabs were quite the thing for a while.

If we look back into when it came into common usage I suspect there will some sort of big news story/event that demonised parts of the world deemed to be full of dirty little a'raaabs.

Can you imagine using it now! shock

Yamyoid Wed 30-Oct-13 10:00:24

My northern family still say barmcakes dawn
I used to have a chip barm nearly every day when at secondary school.

Mmmnotsure Wed 30-Oct-13 10:01:34

I use many of the above my poor dc

Also 'ye gods and little fishes', and looking 'like the witch of Endor' when my hair is a right mess.

DawnOfTheDee Wed 30-Oct-13 10:01:52

I still do too Yamyoid - especially as I live in Yorkshire now (I was born and raised in Lancashire). I refuse to say 'bread cake'. It's just wrong...wink

Yamyoid Wed 30-Oct-13 10:02:02

'Creating' meaning baby making a fuss. Still said by my mum.

stardusty5 Wed 30-Oct-13 10:02:48

I love the word 'vexed'! My nana also used to call me a fly flamer as well as a daft dapeth.

A woman i work with also likes to exclaim 'shine a light!' Instead of bloody hell or similar.

We also still call the outsode bin the Ash Bin. Sure there are more

Yamyoid Wed 30-Oct-13 10:02:58

Bread cake! Not heard that before grin

FunnysInLaJardin Wed 30-Oct-13 10:04:11

oh and my dad would call us 'cloth ears' if we didn't hear what he had said

Snowflakepie Wed 30-Oct-13 10:09:53

I called DD a ratbag the other day. DH was shock for some reason. I could have used something worse IMO! We also have daps which no one else here understands.

DHs lovely grandad had many sayings, the most random was 'off we go and the colour's blue'. No idea. MIL is the master of the double entendre and has gone on record for 'going for a blow on the beach'.

I also thought of an apeth as being a large monkey. Still doesn't spoil it though!

My nan used to call us tinkers if we were naughty I.e "you little tinker" or say we were bold,
My mum used to call me jelly head hmm
My aunt had a friend who used to call everyone scone head (wtf?)

BoyGirlBoy3 Wed 30-Oct-13 10:10:47

"Stop that horse playing", said by my dad.

I say "fair dos", if i want to make people laugh!

WhisperMen - I thought it was 'He couldn't stop a pig in a ginnel' - meaning he was so bowlegged that the pig would run straight through his legs.

FunnysInLaJardin - I think 'all around the reekin' is actually 'all around the Wrekin' - which is a hill in the middle of Shropshire.

HaroldLloyd Wed 30-Oct-13 10:16:41

Had a face like a cat licking piss off a nettle - for catsbum face

Haven't heard that in a while.

ScarerStratton Wed 30-Oct-13 10:18:21

It's pronounced AayyyyyRab in our family. We use loads of these, I think they must have been absorbed into our vocabulary somehow, as we are neither Northern nor from the West.

Does anyone know where Mugwomp comes from?

GemmaTeller Wed 30-Oct-13 10:20:52

'were you born in a barn? ' = shut the door
'put t' wood int' hole' = shut the door

Creating / skryking / blubbing = crying

He skens like a basket of whelks = He's cross eyed
Skennyeyed = cross eyed

He couldn't stop a pig a in an alley - He's bow legged

I remember a conversation with my MIL in the east end of London a few years ago -

Me 'ooh Mary can I have one of these barm cakes please'?
MIL '?'
Me 'these barm cakes on the side'
MIL '?'
Me - thinks of another word....'these flour cakes'
MIL '? there's no cakes in the kitchen'
Me - thinks of another word.... 'these baps'
MIL 'what are you talking about?'
Me - picks pack up and shows her
MIL - 'oh you mean bread rolls'


LazyScare Wed 30-Oct-13 10:20:56

I tell DS to 'Stop wittering on' when he is muttering or saying the same thing over and over.

Not sure if my dad made it up or it is one of these things noone says any more.

'Fair dos' isn't that old fashioned is it? Say and hear that all the time although I am in a part of Britain that resides 25 years in the past

diddl Wed 30-Oct-13 10:21:50

Anyone else have "headless chicken" moments that were like being a "fart in a colander"??

kaytola Wed 30-Oct-13 10:22:24

One of my dads favourites was 'face like a kicked in snap tin'!

GigiDarcy Wed 30-Oct-13 10:22:58

Ooh, we use Mugwomp too but no idea where it's from. I am loving all the swings/roundabout variations.

HaroldLloyd Wed 30-Oct-13 10:24:39

We had mugwumps! WTF is a mugwump.

HaroldLloyd Wed 30-Oct-13 10:25:52

Wow. US republicans.

DawnOfTheDee Wed 30-Oct-13 10:26:23

I have an uncle who still says 'Na then' instead of hello

Banono Wed 30-Oct-13 10:27:32

DH says there'll be 'big trouble'.

As in, you had better tidy up that playroom or there'll be 'big trouble'.
You better do xyz or there'll be trouble.

WTAF?!? I went from being amused when he said it to wanting to say, what are you on about?
Give them a consequence, what is trouble?

TheFallenMadonna Wed 30-Oct-13 10:28:31


TheFallenMadonna Wed 30-Oct-13 10:30:08


Our family saying is "better than a slap in the belly with a wet fish".

ILoveAFullFridge Wed 30-Oct-13 10:32:51

I know someone who says "standing around like leftover lemons'. No idea where it comes from, but I like it.

She also describes a bad hair day as "hedge-backwards".

I think 'hedge-backwards' is a shortened version of 'looking like you've been pulled through a hedge backwards'.

ILoveAFullFridge Wed 30-Oct-13 10:35:14

Dh says "You make a better door than a window" when someone gets between him and the TV. What does that mean? (I know what he means!)

We have wittering on and headless chickens.

Kids also have to tidy up/get to bed "or there'll be trouble", thought that was fairly normal though?

diddl Wed 30-Oct-13 10:40:57

"I have an uncle who still says 'Na then' instead of hello"

I'm in Germany & people here say "Na?" as a greeting!

YoureBeingAnAnyFuckerFan Wed 30-Oct-13 10:41:03

Im in NI and i say gutties or runners for trainers. I didnt know it was colloquial until i joined MN grin

My dad has lots of funny sayings.

The oddest one is 'its a kick start for a trotting banty' when referring to a vehicle with a very small engine. Like a small motorbike.

Another on is if someone farts he says "come in dungannon i know your knock" confused

DawnOfTheDee Wed 30-Oct-13 10:42:06

It means he can't see through you ILove! i.e. if you were like a window then you standing between him and the idiot box like a fart in a trance wouldn't be a problem. As it is you are opaque and therefore, more door-like grin

AnkaretLestrange Wed 30-Oct-13 10:43:20

A winder = a clout round the head.

Mind you the word clout is a bit old fashioned in itself.

'You dirty article'. That makes me laugh, I say it to dd.

GemmaTeller Wed 30-Oct-13 10:43:28

'If he fell off the co-op he'd land in the divi' = he's very lucky

YoureBeingAnAnyFuckerFan Wed 30-Oct-13 10:45:14

Stardusty my mum used to say shine a light instead of shite and sugar instead of shit. Fiddle me pink was instead of fuck. Flap was instead of flip (for flap's sake grin)

Also my uncle used to tell his dcs to stop 'gowling' i think it was a mix of gurning and howling.

HaroldLloyd Wed 30-Oct-13 10:47:21

My friends nan used to exclaim well FUCK ME PINK.

At embarrassing times!

LazyScare Wed 30-Oct-13 10:48:20
DramaAlpaca Wed 30-Oct-13 10:48:46

These are bringing back lots of memories. I still say some of them to my DC - they are confused.

If we misbehaved as kids my Cumbrian grandfather used to tell us to stop it "or I'll skift your onions". We had no idea what it meant, and no inclination to find out!

bunchoffives Wed 30-Oct-13 10:50:38

Banono What about 'there'll be trouble with a capital T'?

or You'll be laughing on the other side of your face.

YoureBeingAnAnyFuckerFan Wed 30-Oct-13 10:51:16

We also have 'better than a poke in the eye with a pointy stick'

If you're walking somewhere you're going on " shanks' pony"

FunnysInLaJardin Wed 30-Oct-13 10:51:31

SDTG that sounds more like it wrt the Wreakin

MummyPig24 Wed 30-Oct-13 10:51:59

If my brother and I were fighting and moaned to my mum she used to say "it was six of one and half a dozen of the other." It took me years to understand it.

She also used to say, if we coughed, "choke up chicken."

If I was being grumpy when I was little my grandma would call me a "Pogly pussage", or say I was "being pogly". Apparently I made it up but I don't remember. I now use that phrase with my children. That will totally out me To any family on here.

FunnysInLaJardin Wed 30-Oct-13 10:52:24

also 'better than a slap round the face with a cold fish'

MummyPig24 Wed 30-Oct-13 10:53:11

My mum also used to say "the wind'll change" if we made a sulky face and apparently we woul be stuck like that.

choccyp1g Wed 30-Oct-13 10:54:11

My favourite is "rushing around like a blue-arsed-fly" generally shortedened to Baf around children.

And "better than a poke with a sharp stick up your left nostril"

MummyPig24 Wed 30-Oct-13 10:57:36

If my dad burped or farted he would say "ooh, more tea vicar?" What does that mean?!

Audilover Wed 30-Oct-13 10:58:25

My mum used to say pin back your lug holes to us when she wanted to tell us something.

Audilover Wed 30-Oct-13 10:59:04

My dad says more tea vicar when he burps or farts as well.

DameEdnasBridesmaid Wed 30-Oct-13 11:00:05

Fur coat and no knickers

sazzle82 Wed 30-Oct-13 11:00:24

Saying nai at the end of the sentence used to be common where I live. It doesn't mean anything and is the equivalent of 'init', as in 'it was a good night last night, nai?'

Also, something which I think is very regional (judging by the reaction of people not from here) is 'I've seen my bum/arse'. It's means you are pissed off with something or or someone. As children we used the shortened version of 'spied yours!' which we would say to someone who had 'seen their bum'.

Similar to meither, my mum used to complain if we moidered her.

TheLateKateSMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 30-Oct-13 11:04:21

My DM and Grandma always say they're "nithered" when they're cold - is that a general thing?

Got called a daft apeth, and a daft caper grin

WhoKnowsWhereTheSlimeGoes Wed 30-Oct-13 11:09:14

My grandad used to call daft ha'porth when we were little, was years before I knew what it meant.

Another one that seems a bit retro now is berk, as in "he's a right berk" - that was widely used when I was growing up but seem to have largely disappeared.

Oh and "I'll give him a punch up the bracket".

When I was 10, we moved from a suburb in the West Midlands out into rural Shropshire - and I had to learn a whole lot of new phrases. My favourite was 'Shut your cake-'ole' for 'shut up'. Another one was 'you munna say dunna, 'cos it inna right' - translation, you mustn't say don't because it isn't right!

I use so many of these confused I guess most come form my parents.

I am always telling the kids/pets to Pack it in or there'll be big trouble.
My DM always calls people ratbags.
Guts for Garters.
Dozy Hap'th
Dragged through a hedge backwards
Knock you into the middle of next week
Having a jaw
Thick as two short planks
I'll give you something to cry about

There are more, but I can't think as I never realised these were so old fashioned. I will have to be on the look out. By grandad is always saying things which make the DC confused.

Kikithecat Wed 30-Oct-13 11:12:58

Loads of these were part of mu growing up.

Also used to hear a lot on Corrie "they're livin' over t'brush" or "she were born on t'wrong side o't'blanket!"

owlbegoing Wed 30-Oct-13 11:13:43

Blimey O'Riley as an exclamation of shock or exasperation. Wonder where that came from?
Pot calling kettle black smile Still use from time to time.
I use born in a barn all the time grin
As much use as a chocolate teapot

Kikithecat Wed 30-Oct-13 11:14:53

"Not enough (blue in the sky) to make a Dutchman's trousers.

Also we've always said "tit in a trance", its my DMs favourite saying.

My nan says "Don't care was made to care"

Loftyjen Wed 30-Oct-13 11:15:19

My dad use to come out with some very random things, think many of them were naval slang. A few of my favourites were:

* "You've got your arse in gear and brain in neutral" (when daydreaming & walking).

* You lie like a hairy egg

* to have "a face like 10ft of road up" (looking grumpy/unhappy).

He would also talk of crocodilapigs, and his favourite colour was skyblue pink with purple dots. Sadly, he died 10yrs before the birth of his 1st grandchild (my DD), otherwise she'd be learning all these phrases directly from Dad.

Am teaching her that if her belly button gets unscrewed her bum will fall off though!

KnappShappeyShipwright Wed 30-Oct-13 11:15:19

I used to be told I had "more rabbit than Sainsbury's" when I was wittering on. Most surprised to find it was in a Chas & Dave song many years later!
There's also more x "than you can shake a stick at".
It is scary when you hear your own parents.

My friend says 'like a tit in a trance' - I had completely forgotten that one - thanks Tig!

fiftyval Wed 30-Oct-13 11:16:51

re 'Mugwump' or 'mugglewump' - my mother used this alot when we were kids.The only other reference I ever saw to it was in Roal Dahl's The Twits and I think Charlie and Choc Factory ( when reading to dd). So looks like JK Rowling may have it from there? But doesn't explain my mother using it as her use pre-dates Roald Dahl's books.

Like you mummypig my mother used to say 'choke up chicken'. She also used 'mithered' alot. She came from Cheshire and would be very snobby about some of my father's Manchester phrases such as 'skriking' for crying and 'kecks' for pants.
There is one phrase of hers which I have never heard anywhere else and she claims was used by her father - ''powfagged'' meaning very tired. Anyone else's family use this one ?

KnappShappeyShipwright Wed 30-Oct-13 11:16:55

Kikithecat - my granny used to make a pair of sailor's trousers out of blue sky! Must be a regional variation.

I nearly died with the recent corrie story line "play the white man" my mum always said it, the context being "behave" for her, I didn't click as a child it was racist

LOftyjen - I don't know where I got this particular one from, but I talk about the colour 'skybluepink with a finny haddock border'!

<<checks belly button firmly screwed up>>

Kikithecat Wed 30-Oct-13 11:18:55

Oh yes Tig, and to complete the rhyme:

Don't care was made to care
Don't care was hung
Don't care was put in the pot
Until he was done!

Not to mention:

Little children, do not let your angry passions rise
Just double-up your little fists and black each others' eyes.

said by my mum and I always thought it was daft us telling us to fight!

knapp My dad is always accusing people of rabbiting on or if he wants us to shut up will say "yeah, yeah, rabbit, rabbit". Doesn't surprise me its Chas & Dave. My grandparents love them and we're long time spurs fans.

clary Wed 30-Oct-13 11:24:08

I've heard lots of these and love them!

An old colleague of mine says "she used to chew bread for our ducks" which you said when you had never heard of someone.

I think it was specific to his family but I rather like it.

I also say "get a wiggle on" which comes from my dad.

LOL @ bomsytit grin

shock I didn't know it was a full rhyme, I doubt my nan does either. I shall have to tell her.

We always used to ask how "don't care was made to care" and she would say "a bunch of fives"!

We also use:
A fly in the ointment.
A right pickle
Like a rat up a dirty drain

Crownjewel Wed 30-Oct-13 11:26:15

Reading his thread has made me chuckle...

DM says, "standing around like piffy on a rock bun" (never understood where it came from).

Also, "mardy bum" (never heard anybody else use that one until the Arctic Monkeys).

"Dragged through a hedge backwards", for scruffy hair/clothes.

Does anybody else's family use, "agate" (instead of, "said", eg. "He was agate that he wished he'd stayed at the party"), or, "happen" (instead of, "perhaps")?

clary Wed 30-Oct-13 11:30:00

LOL @ your bread roll chat with MIL Gemmateller!

Round my way (east mids) everyone calls them cobs. I once offered a visiting child a "bread roll" and she genuinely didn't know what I meant!

Look at you gone out is a good Derbyshire saying. A mate of mine said it one when working in London and they, well, looked at her gone out! smile

hawkeye21 Wed 30-Oct-13 11:30:23

I use a lot of these. Must be getting old sad

Also, since having the DCs, have taken to saying 'oh, for crying out loud,' and 'for Pete's sake,' when previously more earthy language would have been employed.

LazyScare Wed 30-Oct-13 11:40:22

"Got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning" = get over the mood there's no reason for it.

I REALLY got up on the wrong side this morning.

Longtallsally Wed 30-Oct-13 11:42:18

Mummypig the 'more tea Vicar?' phrase refers to the idea of covering up the fart/burp/embarrassing noise by quickly making conversation/providing a distraction. It stems back to the day when entertaining the vicar, in the drawing room, with the best china cups dontchaknow, required very best behaviour, and to make bodily noises was Not Good. If you burped/farted in front of family, presumably that was OK . . .

Loving some of these. I'm also a Midlands girl. We had 'blarting' for crying too, I think. And no-one has yet mentioned it being "black over Bill's mother's" - meaning that bad weather is approaching.

More recently, I had a friend who would describe someone as being 'as useful as an astray on a motorbike' and 'as organised as a box of frogs', both of which love.

'were you born in a barn? ' = shut the door
'put t' wood int' hole' = shut the door

Creating / skryking / blubbing = crying

He skens like a basket of whelks = He's cross eyed

All those ^

'how atty?' As a greeting.

What do you know, owt or nowt?

You make a better door than a window

Put a coat on you'll catch your death

Oh and "it's brass monkeys" when it's cold.

I've remembered another - 'he/she could talk the hind leg off a donkey!'

Longtallsally Wed 30-Oct-13 11:52:03

Did anyone else, on asking for something like a drinks get the reply "Yes, and if you get me a bucket of sand, I'll sing you The Desert Song"? (Meaning you are asking for too much.)

The Desert Song was a musical starring Jeanette Macdonald and Nelson Eddie, with the famous song of the same title. I used to be able to sing it blush - Saturday afternoons always had a film on BBC2. There was another musical too, with the song by them too starting "When I'm calling youuuuuuuu-oooooo-uuuuuu-oooooo-uuuuuu-oooooooo-oooooo"

<Wanders off irretrievably down Memory Lane>

<Hums to self.> Bugger, now that one's stuck in my head! <Will you answer tooooooooo-uuuuuuuuu-oooooooo?>

diddl Wed 30-Oct-13 11:53:09

"I also say "get a wiggle on" which comes from my dad."

I always thought it was "get a wriggle on".

FiveExclamations Wed 30-Oct-13 11:54:30

"Oh my giddy aunt" was my childhood favorite.

Jacksterbear Wed 30-Oct-13 11:56:32

diddl I thought it was "get a wriggle on" too. Are u sure it's "wiggle"?

Tydna Wed 30-Oct-13 12:00:21

"We'll that puts the top hat on it!"
To be said after a series of disasters.

Other remarks made by my grandma:-

What a silly cuckoo!

Save your money, don't be a squander bug!

She's a right mither can!

All dressed up and nowhere to go.

Straighten your face or it will stick like that!

Tydna Wed 30-Oct-13 12:01:29

Well not we'll

DawnOfTheDee Wed 30-Oct-13 12:02:08

Another one who was told to 'get a wriggle on' by my dad.

My mum's version of this was to bark 'shape!' in a drill sargent type voice. She also used to yell this at, for examples, the England football team when watching it on telly or if her horse wasn't running fast enough in the National. It used to make me laugh and then she's look round going "What? They weren't shaping!" grin

DawnOfTheDee Wed 30-Oct-13 12:03:05

Oh and got called 'face ache' if I was looking mardy....

thegreylady Wed 30-Oct-13 12:03:34

My dgs hated the xxxx is no good etc so I chenged it to:
Xxxx is so good we wont chop him up for firewood
I'll tell you what we'll do instead
We'll make him into gingerbread.
Gingerbread is good to eat
First the hands and then the feet
We'll bite the toes off one by one until every bit is gone.
This was accompanied by pretend nibbling of fingers and toes smile

Re sayings...did anyone else say:"I wouldn't call the King my uncle (or me uncle where I lived)" if they were feeling content?

KirjavaTheCorpse Wed 30-Oct-13 12:04:10

Creating mary hell.

Put your face straight! If we were sulking

ChippingInNeedsANYFUCKER Wed 30-Oct-13 12:09:46


'It fits where it touches' - basically means it's too small. On a child they've just outgrown it, but on an adult can also mean it's 'tarty' (ie too short/too much boobage on show!). Context is everything!

'She's no better than she ought to be' - basically means either 'it's what you'd expect from the likes of her' or 'she's not as 'posh' as she would like to think she is' grin

I think a good 80% of them were used when I was a child and I probably use 75% of them now blush Though I have to say it has been so long since I have heard the ones relating to Arabs I'd forgotten about them - they sound pretty shocking these days!

Mandy2003 Wed 30-Oct-13 12:12:36

I tell DS to "Think on" periodically!

SlangKing Wed 30-Oct-13 12:15:52

"well I'll go to the foot of our stairs", it's been a while since I've heard many of the above. I don't get up north much any more and miss hearing "mithering" and "skrieking" (sp?). I was at my friends' house recently and had good cause to say to their 22yo DD, "Trunky wanna bun?" My mates near pissed themselves while DD looked at us like we were from space. I thought it was still commonly used but apparently not among our yoof.

Ajl99 Wed 30-Oct-13 12:39:03

So many of these are familiar esp. 'The wind'll change' if you were making a face, 'born in a barn', 'guts for garters' . What about 'don't know you're born' if you complained about something. 'Better out than in' if you farted. 'He who smelt it dealt it' if you said someone else had farted (no honestly we weren't obsessed)

Doyouthinktheysaurus Wed 30-Oct-13 12:40:09

My mum had an odd one which I insist on continuing for my children....

"You know what thought did; thought he had shit himself and he hadn't" confused

I may substitute poo for shit and I have no real concept of the logic behind it, but I love it and like to carry it ongrin

I use dragged through a hedge backwards all the time too.

Daft apeth is a popular one in this house too.

partyondude Wed 30-Oct-13 12:41:20

I'll go t'foot of our stairs was one of my mum's. Along with mither and missle (damp fine rain). She swore with the expression 'rats and barnacles'(outed myself here). My gran used 'doings' when she couldn't remember the word- like whatsit or thingumy.
my dc are called ratbags and I've just rediscovered the word wally. We also use pickle as a minor problem or jam as in 'are you in a pickle?' All around the wrekin is a fabulous expression although I heard it more when living near Stoke on trent than living in Shropshire.

Dd uses 'I aren't' which again I first came across in stoke. Similarly the Stoke going to places. They never go to places in the potteries. They go shop, go town, go school... but they ado list'lways go up Hanley. This is why I now have a '

onetiredmummy Wed 30-Oct-13 12:56:11

Moggins for breasts
Kecks for trousers
Shimmy for t shirt
Someone is mithered here too (Yorkshire mother). If you don't know the pronunciation its mythered. With a y not an i.

Insults are:


Daft wassock. DP called DS1 a daft wassock & he just stared at him uncomprehendingly grin

HaroldLloyd Wed 30-Oct-13 12:58:06

Knockers for boobs you don't here much nowadays.

HaroldLloyd Wed 30-Oct-13 12:58:19

HEAR ffs.

TooManyDicksOnTheDancefloor Wed 30-Oct-13 13:03:25

Are you from North Wales sazzle82? I recognise everything you have said. My cousins say nai and they're from Holywell. I say 'seen your arse' all the time and get blank looks in Yorkshire. My mum always says 'stop moidering me' DH always repeats it in a New York accent.

Kasterborous Wed 30-Oct-13 13:04:08

Loving these , so many I'd forgotten about grin

FreckledLeopard Wed 30-Oct-13 13:05:01

We used to have 'choke up chicken - you might find a gold watch'.

Other sayings by my father included - 'black as the ace of spades', 'open your lugholes' (if we weren't listening). My dad used to wake me up in the morning with the expression, 'can't sleep here Jack. Town hall steps'. God knows where that came from (could have been when he ran away from home and slept rough during the war).

There are loads more that I can't remember or repeat for fear of arrest

Thymeout Wed 30-Oct-13 13:14:59

Diddi - we had 'rushing around like a fart in a colander', too. Never heard it anywhere else.

Also, when an aunt, better off than the rest of the family, found a necklace in a bag of potatoes, "The Devil shits on the biggest muckheap." The connection between dirt and money, 'filthy lucre', is almost Dickensian.

Kippers and curtains - style over substance. You had curtains so it looked as if you were a cut above, but lived on kippers, which were cheap eats.

SlangKing Wed 30-Oct-13 13:15:36

Wally reminded me that you don't hear jessie anymore either. If me or my brothers made an (unnecessary) fuss as kids we'd be called "you big girls blouse" by our dad. Boobs? A mate of mine when in our 20's called them "scrunch cushions". Don't think that was a 'saying' though,,, just him.

Kasterborous Wed 30-Oct-13 13:18:44

When someone was cheating at a game we used to say 'you cheating Arab' pronounced A-rab. blush, certainly wouldn't use that one anymore.

vladthedisorganised Wed 30-Oct-13 13:42:37

Chipping - round our way 'she's no better than she ought to be' was a lot more bosom-hoicking than 'she thinks she's posh but she isn't' - it was basically calling someone a tart without actually saying it. I am sure that my mother would refer to Miley Cyrus and assorted scantily-clad slebs as being 'no better than she ought to be'

Gie ma heid peace - 'will everyone just shut up for a minute!'. Funnily enough I use this a lot these days. grin

nagynolonger Wed 30-Oct-13 13:43:23

Their cat ran up our entry.......When talking about a family who were related but not closely.

He/she's got a face like a slapped arse.......not very happy.

You could ride bare arsed to China on that...When a knife or scissors were not very sharp.

Mutton dressed as lamb....Mother trying to dress/look like her teenage daughter and failing.

Queer as a nine bob (shilling) note......There was no such thing as a nine bob note. It was a 10 shilling note.

nagynolonger Wed 30-Oct-13 13:46:20

Apples where there's orchards. When someone better off won anything.

TigerTrumpet Wed 30-Oct-13 13:55:01

Me and DSis were often referred to as a pair of 'giddy kippers'. My gran's favourite insult was 'neither use nor ornament' for people, animals, objects, abstract concepts...

froubylou Wed 30-Oct-13 14:09:03

Blood and sand. Said instead of bloody hell.

Don't get many of them to the lb. Meaning someone had big boobs usually.

Bread rolls are breadcakes.
Teacakes are sweet with currants in.
Baps are boobs!

My grandad used to say 'down the bamboo shoot' to get us to eat up.

Spice means sweets.

Pog means your seat.

Gloryhole is a pantry or cupboard inside and coalhole is an outdoor shed or building.

MyNameIsAnAnagram Wed 30-Oct-13 14:18:45

SDTG my grandmother used to say skybluepink with a finny haddy border .

Kasterborous Wed 30-Oct-13 14:29:22

I called DD a "giddy kipper' just the other day TigerTrumpet

YY to spice for sweets 'gis a spice'

Someone upthread mentioned Berk.... rhyming slang for cunt. (Berkshire Hunt) I prefer berk, and am going to do my utmost to single handedly restore it's popularity! smile

My gran used to use pooseyfrumpture, as in "Mrs Smith was round yesterday, with all her pooseyfrumpture" (Mrs Smith was a bit of a Hyacinth Bucket type) so pooseyfrumpture meant, I imagine, assumed airs and graces.

I strongly suspect my gran made the word up, as I have never, ever, heard another soul say it outside of my family. grin

onetiredmummy Wed 30-Oct-13 14:55:24

Keith I used to call people berks as a child! Had no idea until I just read your post what it meant! It was a playground insult.

Swings & roundabouts - you go up & down & you go round & round

No use to man nor beast - still use it!

Sky blue pink with yellow dots on

rubycon Wed 30-Oct-13 14:55:28

you look like a bag o' muck tied up ugly.

amicissimma Wed 30-Oct-13 15:05:51

These bring back some memories!

I'd forgotten the 'face ache' one, but remember being told not to 'dawk around like a fart in a trance'

Getting up early was 'at sparrow fart' ( a bit of a gassy theme here!)

If we were 'up to no good' Mum would threaten to 'read the Riot Act'

My grandma used to say 'It's neither herring nor good red meat'

The quick change of subject idea was 'Another custard cream, Vicar?'

quoteunquote Wed 30-Oct-13 15:08:26

I use to have a dog called Apeth.

amicissimma Wed 30-Oct-13 15:08:26

If we took the last of something off a plate we were wished: 'A handsome husband and 10,000 a year'. It sounds like something out of Jane Austen today!

EauPeanUpTheGatesOfHell Wed 30-Oct-13 15:09:02

Yeah to fart in a colander and shut yer cakehole and (I sense a theme) shut yer mouth and give yer arse a chance thlconfused or shut yer gigi.

When asked what was for lunch my Nan would always say 'two ducks a duck in and a duck out'.

If me legs were long enough I'd kick me own arse, if you've made a mistake.

MooseBeTimeForSnow Wed 30-Oct-13 15:17:43

My mum used to say, "take that off or you won't feel the benefit" if I was wearing a coat or jacket inside.

There are a few that I think are specific to my hometown, Hull, like tenfoot and tansad.

"Looks like the back end of a bus" or "looks like two badgers fighting in a sack" or "you don't look at the mantelpiece when you're poking the fire" were all uncomplimentary.

"Well go to the top of our stairs"
"You're neither use nor ornament"

Sky hooks, tartan paint and left handed spanners

MooseBeTimeForSnow Wed 30-Oct-13 15:18:32

You're about as much use as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest

vladthedisorganised Wed 30-Oct-13 15:20:48

amicissima - glad it wasn't just my family who mentioned farts in trances/ hanging about like one..

Getting up early was also 'at the crack of a sparrow's fart' (still is)

And if you had a lot of bubbles in your tea, you had 'money in your cup'. The fact they disappeared rapidly seemed appropriate!

Talking through a hole in yer heid meant talking nonsense - we had shut yer geggy too.

woozlebear Wed 30-Oct-13 15:23:12

Yes to mugwump!! - wtf is a mugwump?

I tell DS to 'Stop wittering on' I say wittering all the tim too. Is it not a normal word? blush

daft ha'porth and crosspatch remind me of my gran. I use both expressions almost daily to my cats so hadn't really realised they were now rare.

My gran would always talk about 'spending a penny' as well.

One I used to love - my grandad used to say that my gran was 'dolloping her clock up' when she was doing her make up.

No use to man nor beast, guts for garters....I must be V old fashioned, but I use so many of the sayings on here regularly! (Only 32...)Also swings and roundabouts (meaning something similar to six of one and half a dozen of the other). It's now dawning on me that a lot of people may well think I use really strange expressions, when in my head I'm using perfectly normal ones blush

BalloonSlayer Wed 30-Oct-13 15:29:31

"Excuse my French" - said politely to one's audience after a tirade of four letter words

"Don't get many of those to a pound!" translates as "Good gracious, what a lovely large pair of breasts you are lucky enough to have, Madam."

Reprint Wed 30-Oct-13 15:37:10

Mugwump predates Harry Potter by decades .... and is a bird which sits on telephone wires with its mug facing one way and its wump the other!
Usually in the autumn...
(at least, that's what it was in Oxfordshire in the 1950's. I have no idea if the bird had to have republican leanings or not - presumably only if it was migrating to the US)

My mother knew someone who always used to express surprise by saying "well I'll go to the foot of our stairs"! I still don't know why.

KirjavaTheCorpse Wed 30-Oct-13 15:49:13

"I've been running about like a blue-arse fly in a thunderstorm"

GemmaTeller Wed 30-Oct-13 15:52:42

'Well, I never, I'll go the foot of our stairs and jump off ' hmm

GemmaTeller Wed 30-Oct-13 16:03:37

My mums favourite threats:

'Do you want a slap?'

'You'd better put your face straight before I straighten it for you' = stop sulking

'Don't make me get up' = stop acting up/romping about before I have to get up and manhandle remonstrate with you.

'You can sort that midden of a bedroom out before you go anywhere'

'Do I look like I was born yesterday?'

INeedSomeHelp Wed 30-Oct-13 16:21:07

My favourite "sweary" phrase is hell's bells. Or hell's bells and buckets of blood if something really bad has happened!
My sisters and I also still sometimes say "My flabber has never been so gasted" when expressing surprise at something. That came from an audio tape of Cinderella we had as children - I think one of the ugly sisters said it.

rubycon Wed 30-Oct-13 16:21:47

it was neither arm'ole nor breakfast time

LemonMousse Wed 30-Oct-13 16:28:41

Not sure if this is exclusive to the North East but 'I've a kitchen like a midden' (outdoor toilet - non flushing variety!) meaning my kitchen is in need of a good clean/tidy up.

Often say to DD2 who loves baking 'Don't you dare leave that kitchen like a midden mind!' grin

riskit4abiskit Wed 30-Oct-13 16:33:02

Maardy arsed

granny used to say 'Goodness to mergatroyd' I have no idea what this meant.

Also 'go and play with jones'kids'when you were mithering.

DismemberedDwerf Wed 30-Oct-13 16:45:05

The word 'fratching' I do not know where I heard it, or know many other people who know it, but it means arguing. As in 'the kids are fratching again'.

KnappShappeyShipwright Wed 30-Oct-13 17:00:14

Just thought of another one - specific to my family I guess as I've never heard it before: "shim-shams for meddler's noses" was granny's response equating to mind your own business when asked what something contained.

Thisghosttrainisreversing Wed 30-Oct-13 17:05:14

These are great.

My nan always used 'you daft ha'porth and 'looking like the wreck of the Hesperus' (sp)

My dad called everyone face ache.

'going all 'round the Wrekin' is very common where I live.

Also use 'all over the shop' a lot.

diddl Wed 30-Oct-13 17:18:10

Good heavens to Murgatroyd was what we used to say!

GemmaTeller Wed 30-Oct-13 17:28:08

'Stop crying before I give you something to cry about' hmm

'Two shakes of a lamb's tail' (I'll be ready in..)

'Dag,nam and blast it!! (ooh really sweary!!)

'Never in a month of sundays'

Kasterborous Wed 30-Oct-13 17:32:48

My Mum used to say to us -usually when we were doing something daft- 'don't come running to me when you break your leg'. I like that one.

It probably was ha'porth rather than apeth, I just had it in my head as a big hairy ape!

SlangKing Wed 30-Oct-13 17:42:57

Miserable/scowling ppl have "A face like a bulldog chewing a wasp." - A couple more "as useless as" ones - 1. A chocolate fireguard. 2. An ashtray on a motorbike.

usualsuspect Wed 30-Oct-13 17:43:48

My Dad used to say , 'He don't know if he wants a shit or a haircut'

Or 'he don't know his arse from his elbow.

If you asked grandma what was for dinner she always said 'shit with sugar on'

BalloonSlayer Wed 30-Oct-13 17:51:49

"Stop grizzling!"

Grizzling being crying that the onlooker considered unjustified. eg - you "cry" if you have a broken leg, but you "grizzle" if you are shedding tears and making distressed noises because your Mum won't let you have some sweets in a supermarket.

My Mum used to say "Mon Dieu!" but in her Sarf London accent it sounded to me like "Mange" and I couldn't understand why she said the French word for "eat" when exasperated. (She also called me a daft ha'p'orth and I too thought an Apeth was a kind of Yeti)

My stepfather used to say, when describing someone large and burly, that they were "built like a shithouse door." I know the phrase is supposed to be "built like a brick shithouse" but I rather prefer his version of it.

My Dad used to call us "cloth ears" - I don't know whether that was when we weren't listening or just being dim.

When we left the door open it was "were you born in a bus?" not born in a barn as most people say.

"Willy" was considered far too vulgar a term for us to use. Penis? What was THAT? No, in our house, the main male reproductive organ was . . . wait for it . . . a tassel. Cue much spluttering when we heard about "Joan's new curtains, gorgeous they are, with lots of lovely big tassels on them."

Female genitalia was one's "fluffy bit." grin

BalloonSlayer Wed 30-Oct-13 17:52:29

oh and we always used to be promised "kippers and custard" for tea.

Reprint Wed 30-Oct-13 17:59:16

Reminds me of the standard answer to "whats for dinner?" ........air pie and a windy rasher!!

Kasterborous Wed 30-Oct-13 18:36:22

Another favourite is 'you make a better door than a window', said if someone was standing in front of something you wanted to look at (like the telly)

WhoKnowsWhereTheSlimeGoes Wed 30-Oct-13 18:39:50

Oh, my dad used to say that to me when I stood in front of the telly.

MargeryAllingham Wed 30-Oct-13 18:52:10

I use "stood there like one o'clock half struck" for people staring into space, dithering about getting something done.

BIWI Wed 30-Oct-13 18:53:51

Heavens to Murgatroyd

Re being hungry/eating scabby donkeys - we used to say 'I'm so hungry I could eat a scabby horse between two bread vans'

sazzle82 Wed 30-Oct-13 18:58:23

Yep toomanydicks I think it's all very particular to North Wales.

I've had the 'it was moider!' in the new York accent thrown at me before too grin

Standingonlego Wed 30-Oct-13 19:06:59

Lots of familiar phrases here...a variation on "put wood in hole" in my house was 'do you come from Warsop?" Warsop is a town near parents where allegedly the houses linked to local pit had no internal doors as they ran out of money whilst idea if true hmm

And one I know I got from my Grandad "skin a rabbit" when asking DSs to lift arms in air to take a t shirt off.

onetiredmummy Wed 30-Oct-13 19:16:56

More coming to me now smile

I could eat a scabby dog

Cast off Jack I'm in the dinghy (if you do something for yourself but nobody else e.g. Make a cuppa)

onetiredmummy Wed 30-Oct-13 19:17:41

Let the dog see the rabbit - hurry up

Jemimapuddleduk Wed 30-Oct-13 19:26:03

My mum used to say Crikey Moses.
Also heard lots of daft apeth, cloth ears, giddy kipper and grumpelstiltskin (for grumpy moods). My mum used to call me flossy tea cake and I am not too sure why!

Jemimapuddleduk Wed 30-Oct-13 19:28:47

Keep remembering more! My dh's family always say they have a spot of 'gip' when they have indigestion.

Kasterborous Wed 30-Oct-13 19:30:30

I'm going to change my nick name now.

YerDaftApeth Wed 30-Oct-13 19:32:52

Done! Had to be Yer instead of you 'cause that's how I say it.

Redhatnoknickers Wed 30-Oct-13 19:35:22

"There's dirty work afoot at the crossroads" (there's something suspicious going on)
"Done is the deed, the deed is done, but what have they done with the knife?" (What have you been up to?)
"Gone, and never called me mother!" (Melodramatic phrase that my mother used to come out with randomly - who knows why!)

GemmaTeller Wed 30-Oct-13 19:36:14

'It'll put skin on your back like velvet' as in 'eat this homemade wholesome food...'

Bitofkipper Wed 30-Oct-13 19:41:42

"Manners, Pianners,
Tables and chairs,
Belong to the lady
Who lives upstairs".
Said by my dad if you didn't say please.

"I'm standing here like two of eels waiting for liquor"
Said by my mum when she was dithering.

(Pianos doesn't sound right)

Snozwanger Wed 30-Oct-13 19:47:25

My dad used to say 'change the record' if I kept going on and on about something smile

SorrelForbes Wed 30-Oct-13 19:47:49

Oh yes,

Its black over Bill's mother's
All around the Wrekin
I'll go to the foot of the stairs

stubbornstains Wed 30-Oct-13 19:49:23

Oh, some more....

"You're asking for a knuckle sandwich" (charmed I'm sure Dad)

"You're so sharp you'll cut yerself" (likewise Grandma)

TeamEdwooooooo Wed 30-Oct-13 19:50:37

Haven't read the whole thread.

When talking about a miserly chap, I've been known to use the phrase "tighter than two coats of paint"

Katiebeau Wed 30-Oct-13 19:57:26

Loads of these and mardarse if we were grumpy and San fairy Anne (that well known French phrase murdered by my DM!!!).

Redhatnoknickers Wed 30-Oct-13 20:22:38

"Back in the knife box Miss Sharp" (if you'd said something sarcastic)
"All mouth and no trousers"
"You know what thought thought? He thought his leg was out of bed so he got out and out it back in again!"

Redhatnoknickers Wed 30-Oct-13 20:23:35

put it back in again.....

onetiredmummy Wed 30-Oct-13 20:25:20

You know what thought did? Followed a dustcart and thought it was a wedding.

Onetiredmummy - I used that one on Sunday as we were on the second (yes second) diversion trying to get into Nottingham ... As oh "thought he knew another way"

dogindisguise Wed 30-Oct-13 20:40:53

My mum (64) says "daft apeth" and used to say Wild Woman of Borneo too.

JohnSnowsTie Wed 30-Oct-13 20:46:04

"Gordon Bennet!"

"Cor blimey." My mum says it comes from "God blind me."

"Well stone the crows."

I say both and I'm 30.

JohnSnowsTie Wed 30-Oct-13 20:46:56

Meant to put the "both" bit before stone the crows...

YerDaftApeth Wed 30-Oct-13 20:47:13

Had totally forgotten about 'San fairy Ann'. My Dad used that one quite a lot.

Another was 'what's that scotch mist', I used that one a lot with my siblings they hated it! It's said when you've been looking for something and couldn't find it, then someone comes along and spots it immediately and says 'what's that scotch mist'.

DaftApeth Wed 30-Oct-13 20:50:27

Ha, YerDaftApeth!

I haven't used this name for a while!

LemonMousse Wed 30-Oct-13 20:50:32

My Dad's - 'Stop standing there like one o'clock half struck (stop day dreaming)

'Put the wood in the hole' (close the door)

'He could peel an orange in his pocket' (about someone he considered mean with money)

And my favourite 'Daddism' about people he considered had no discerning taste 'He would drink water the pit ponies had plodged in'

(*plodge is Geordie for paddling in water) grin

Jacksterbear Wed 30-Oct-13 20:57:36

Omg!! Have only just twigged that San Fairy Anne = ca ne fait rien!


Df used to say if you had done a stinky fart 'as a rat crept up thee arse and deed' in a Yorkshire accent.

Mum where yer going? 'There and back to see how far it is' or 'to see a man about a dog'

KissesBreakingWave Wed 30-Oct-13 21:07:28

Well, mixed Irish/Lancashire/Yorkshire family living in Lancashire. Got a lot of 'em.

As much use as ... cat shit in soup/ashtray on a motorbike/the cat I haven't got (The cat I haven't got also knows things that are obvious.)

A dog wi' a clawhammer up 'is arse could do it. (Said dog is a comparator for the utterly clueless, also.)

Your imagination's as big as your brain isn't.

Well, if $UNLIKELY_EVENT_OR_TRUTH, I'll show me arse in't co-op window.

Oh, he'll chew nails an' spit up rust! (For impressively clever/brave/obedient small children.)

Well, we could go down't butchers and see if he's turned the bacon slicer on? (Entertainment opportunities hereabouts seem somewhat limited)

You're like christmas comin'

You're shapin' like wet lettuce (not even reaching the standard of a dog wi' a clawhammer up his arse)

Don't talk wet! (I find your remarks foolish and inconsequential)

He couldn't lie straight in bed, that one. (He is lacking in honesty.)

Brittapie Wed 30-Oct-13 21:13:37

One of my favourite ways to test a newish friend is to ask them what thought did.

The ONLY acceptable answer is "followed a dustcart and thought it were a wedding", but anything other than complete confusion gets brownie points from me grin

KissesBreakingWave Wed 30-Oct-13 21:15:47

Thought followed a funeral and thought it were a wedding. Stuff yer brownie points.

RubySparks Wed 30-Oct-13 21:16:11

You know what thought did.....

Planted a feather and thought it would grow a hen!

LetItBeMe Wed 30-Oct-13 21:16:53

barn pot, reference to someone being daft. my Yorkshire grandfather used to call us barn pots quite often!

Brittapie Wed 30-Oct-13 21:17:33

What's for tea?

Two jumps at the cupboard door.

Hippymama Wed 30-Oct-13 21:17:45

I use loads of these phrase smile

The conversation with the MIL about the bread rolls made me giggle as I've had a fair few conversations that have gone like that. Where I grew up bread rolls are muffins, which leads to confusion in chippies anywhere else if you go and ask for a chip muffin smile

Brittapie Wed 30-Oct-13 21:19:24

Is it just my school that had sausage roll on toast as an option for school dinners? Or garlic bread and gravy?

Lancashire, if it wasn't obvious.

GemmaTeller Wed 30-Oct-13 21:19:33

'Eee, she's got more front than Blackpool that one' said when hoiking judgy pants.

Q. Whats for tea mum? A. 'shit and shinola'

Brittapie Wed 30-Oct-13 21:20:39

My children are half geordie half lancashire.

Asking for monkeys blood on their ice cream only works up there in geordieland. But asking to play in the ginnel is confined to down here grin

Brittapie Wed 30-Oct-13 21:21:13

Bigger milk round than the co op

- a lady with larger than average breasts

KissesBreakingWave Wed 30-Oct-13 21:21:31

He's had nowt but a sniff of the barmaid's apron - he can't hold his drink.

Brittapie Wed 30-Oct-13 21:22:46

Like a cockle on a rock - a small hat on a big head.

Why this warrants it's own expression I have no idea. Are small hats a regular issue in Lancashire/Kendal in the 1950s?

ThePearShapedToad Wed 30-Oct-13 21:23:17

No! danielhellhound

My dad told me he'd made up the Xxxx xxxx is no good, chop her up for firewood rhyme- though I was always eaten with gingerbread, not lava bread


Actually kinda gutted I've got to 30 and only just found out he didn't make it up

BalloonSlayer Wed 30-Oct-13 21:36:27

When people were cross they'd say "I'll swing for you!"

I thought it meant that they'd take a swing at you, ie try to punch you.

But apparently it means that they would happily kill you and be hanged for the crime - "I'll swing [be hanged] for the pleasure of killing you." shock

Paddlinglikehell Wed 30-Oct-13 21:58:41

We had 'daps' too!

Looking like a wet weekend

Bloomin' heck

Your necks so dirty, you could grow potatoes

Cat got your tongue

Running around like a blue assed fly! (No idea where that is from)

Going to see a man about a dog

You must think the sun shines.....(out of his arse)

YerDaftApeth Wed 30-Oct-13 21:58:55

I'd never thought of it like that BalloonSlayer suppose it makes a kind of sense. Don't think I'll use it again though!

These have bought back some memories.

I love 'well i'll go to t'foot of our stairs!' My dad and grandad used to say that all the time. I've got some odd looks the few times i've said it though.

I'm definitley familliar with the 'barm cakes' conversation. I've not lived up North since i was barely walking but still say barm cakes and can never think of the 'proper' word to explain to people what I mean.

One my mum always says is "He's all there all there with his lemon drops." Meaning someone is mentally competent and able to understand things confused Never understood it and don't think i've ever heard anyone else say it either

wizzler Wed 30-Oct-13 22:09:05

We say " It's coming down in stair rods" to mean it's raining hard...
Heard someone say "it's coming down in steroids" which is not the same thing at all!

Awks Wed 30-Oct-13 22:11:31

"what's for tea mum"
"windmill pie"
"if it goes round, you get a bit"

makes ABSOLUTELY no sense, that.

FreshBloodandGutsLeticia Wed 30-Oct-13 22:14:44

Standing there like a tin o'milk.

Like a pimple on a knicki ( looking ridiculously ineffective)

Wild woman of Borneo (that's me that is grin)

Spare prick at a wedding? grin

DameEdnasBridesmaid Wed 30-Oct-13 22:17:51

Standing there 'like one of Lewis's'

youretoastmildred Wed 30-Oct-13 22:19:36

Someone on MN said today (perfectly reaonably) "fuck that for a bag of toffee." I love that and am going to struggle not to say that to someone at work tomorrow who is asking me to do something pathetic and pointless.

clary Wed 30-Oct-13 22:20:20

Have googled both wiggle on and wriggle on and both appear. So who knows.

Pretty sure my dad said wiggle. Sadly he's not here to ask.

He also used to say when you were really tired you could "sleep on a hatpin" which I still say.

clary Wed 30-Oct-13 22:21:30

Ooh also Dad used to say "tuffies" for sweets - but any kind of sweets, not just toffees.

I was delighted when I met my husband that he said the same (a bit random - they were not from the same area at all!)

Redhatnoknickers Wed 30-Oct-13 22:33:24

"What's for tea?"

If it's there you can have it, if it's not you can't.

YerDaftApeth Wed 30-Oct-13 22:33:57

Another one I remember is when someone tripped up you'd say 'nice trip, where's me rock'.

Winceyette Wed 30-Oct-13 22:35:11

We were always being told to stop being "gormless' and to "stop standing there like Clem" - still no idea who or what Clem was...

minsmum Wed 30-Oct-13 22:39:51

If we asked my mum what was for tea she would always say bee's knees and spiders ankles. The first time I said it to my ds he cried and said I don't like them.

GemmaTeller Wed 30-Oct-13 23:01:15

'I'm that tired I could sleep on a clothes line'

'You're not as green as you're cabbage looking' meaning you're on the ball / not as thick as you look.

'Mind your beeswax'

Going to see a man about a dog we got told that all the time, I swear to god we never got told what was actually happening/where anybody was going.

catinboots Wed 30-Oct-13 23:08:24

Pick us a winner

(For the dirty nose-pickers out there)

clam Wed 30-Oct-13 23:12:06

"Were you born in a barn?" (if you'd left the door open)
"What's for tea? Bread and pull it"
"She was giving him the glad eye" (flirting)

Ablababla Wed 30-Oct-13 23:25:59

Our family always said they were off to 'spend a penny' when nipping to the loo.

My gran used to say the woman across the road was 'no better than she should be' (what does that even mean?) and 'all fir coat and no kickers'.

lokijet Wed 30-Oct-13 23:33:09

I should cocoa

You are a gannet

MrsBodger Wed 30-Oct-13 23:39:43

A Lancashire phrase of my mum's, to be said if someone was rude about something of yours:

'It's clean and it's paid for.'

As useful as an underwater hair dryer
Face like a wet weekend (both fairly self explanatory)

However I always thought it was "There'll be wigs on the green" as in olden days when men wore wigs, if they fought, the wigs would fall off?

Neck like a jockey's bollox (I.e. a hard neck - the nerve of him)

I could eat a nun's leg through the convent gates with no salt or pepper on it

I haven't laughed so much since me mammy caught her diddies in the mangle (ouch!)

1944girl Thu 31-Oct-13 00:03:28

''Skin the rabbit'' my grandmother always said this when undressing a small child.It meant put your arms up.
My mother would always say''Cuter than old Nick'' about a crafty person.Old nick was the devil.
If someone kept going in and out of a room they were told to ''stay put, you are like a fanny in a fit, going in and out''.
If someone had bad luck they were described as having had a bad paper round.

goodasitgets Thu 31-Oct-13 00:08:53

When putting makeup on "two of sand and one of cement"
Referring to (usually my) skirts "will you put the pelmet back when you've worn it?"
When you're hungry "I could eat a scabby donkey"
I recognise most of these especially piffy and mithered

GW297 Thu 31-Oct-13 00:14:45

Who's she? The cat's mother?

hollyisalovelyname Thu 31-Oct-13 01:39:43

Describing an unlucky person - 'if it was raining soup she'd be out with a fork.'
If you were looking for something and couldn't find it my mum would say'It's up in Nelly's room behind the wallpaper'. Who is Nelly!!!!
A sally rod is a rod made with twigs from hazel I think.

CuttedUpPear Thu 31-Oct-13 01:43:05

Ah I love the 'daft apath' phrase.
I used to get called it all the time when I was little (in Brum).

I used to think it was somehow monkey-related (as in ape).
It wasn't until I was in my thirties that I worked it out blush

GemmaTeller Thu 31-Oct-13 08:31:23

We used to say '...must have had a long paper round' referring to someone who looked haggard or older than their years.

DH says 'I could murder a cup of tea and have strong words with its brother'

pearlgirl Thu 31-Oct-13 08:37:11

Just reading the title made me think of my dad and smile - he used to say it all the time affectionately- if he was cross then we were blithering idiots.

YerDaftApeth Thu 31-Oct-13 09:24:42

Calling someone 'mouldiwarp' but I'm reading a book at the moment around King Henry VIII reign and there is other theory that calls him the mouldwarp I think it was mouldwarp not got my book on hand to check but it's something very like that. So wonder if that's were it comes from.

BalloonSlayer Thu 31-Oct-13 09:41:43

I just LOVE DH says 'I could murder a cup of tea and have strong words with its brother'

grin grin grin

Knotter Thu 31-Oct-13 10:54:46

'It's a bit black over Bill's mother's' - always wondered about the origin of this! My Mum used this and her Mum, also Wreck of the Hesperus and Wild woman of Borneo. Also my Mum always calls bad drivers 'merchants' - what's this merchant doing? (Cockney - merchant banker = wanker!)

LemonMousse Thu 31-Oct-13 12:15:51

If anyone asked my Gran how old she was she'd say "I'm as old as me little finger and a little bit older than me teeth"

diddl Thu 31-Oct-13 12:28:32

As old as my tongue & a little bit older than my teeth we used to say.

Also, a friend of my dad's-him & her both slim-"you can't fatten a thoroughbred"

stubbornstains Thu 31-Oct-13 12:37:10

Going to see a man about a dog: I remember my mum saying this when I was about 6, and being devastated when I got back from school not to find a puppy sad.

I want to know if there is a euphemism for the sexual act that could possibly be more romantic than....

Banging away like a shithouse door on a Grimsby trawler grin

KissesBreakingWave Thu 31-Oct-13 13:46:02

I could bite the arse out of a low-flyin' duck. Me belly thinks me throat's cut.

DatsunCogs Thu 31-Oct-13 14:04:08

Love this thread! My Nan used to say 'you're as artful as a wagonload of monkeys'. I still try to use it!

KissesBreakingWave Thu 31-Oct-13 14:26:48

Was she implying you're as daft as a hat full of arseholes?

DatsunCogs Thu 31-Oct-13 14:44:15

She mainly used it when I cheated at monopoly...
My mum says 'sweet Fanny Adams' when she means 'nothing at all'

hollyisalovelyname Thu 31-Oct-13 15:21:49

When a child is the image of his/ her Mum 'like she spat him/ her out of her mouth'
'Well she didn't lick it off the ground' - her Mum/ Dad/ Family behaved the same way.
'Wouldn't give you the steam off his p*ss' - a very mean person.
' a right gobaluuter'' - an eejit

Doinmummy Thu 31-Oct-13 15:34:56

My dad says ' Money and fair words' when you ask him how much something cost.

Also 'looks like the cats died' if trousers are too short.

Up 'ere for thinking (tap head) down 'ere for dancing' (point to feet)

TheConstantLurker Thu 31-Oct-13 16:01:35

Scone-faced, doughy and slightly gormless.
Sweety wifie, a gossip with a sickly sweet way about her.
Arse like the back end of a bus.
Targe, a naughty, spirited child.

babe2be Thu 31-Oct-13 16:05:42

My mum and Nan said these types of things all the time! Wow, this thread takes me back.
'If xyz stuck their head in an oven would you'? - i.e. would you copy everything xyz does even if it's stupid?
Having a chinwag - having a talk/natter
'I'll give you something to cry about in a minute' - if they thought you were crying needlessly
Up the wooden hill to bedfordshire - said to us to as we were going upstairs to bed
'A little bird told me' - a way of someone telling you that they know about xyz
'a word in your shell like' - a word in your ear, i.e. can I have a word
'look like you've/i've been dragged through a hedge backwards' - look a mess
goes like billy-o/like the clappers - go quickly

babe2be Thu 31-Oct-13 16:32:48

ooh just thought of some more
'sod that for a game of soldiers' - i.e no way am I doing that!
'Scotch mist' - in answer to a question such as 'what's that'?

YerDaftApeth Thu 31-Oct-13 16:45:31

Oh yes to the 'if xyz' but it was if they 'jumped of a cliff' with us.

Orangeanddemons Thu 31-Oct-13 16:58:27

You've got rice to come....meaning what you want will never happen
As much use as a handbrake in a canoe...useless person
Was tha born in a barn.....kindly shut the door
Them that asks don't get, and them that don't ask don't want...always said to me when I wanted an ice cream

Orangeanddemons Thu 31-Oct-13 17:00:29


Fair clemmed and spitting feathers for thirsty

babe2be Thu 31-Oct-13 17:07:59

YerDaft - It seemed to be interchangeable with the cliff saying too (you saying that has just reminded me), half the time it was the oven and half the time it was the cliff smile

onetiredmummy Thu 31-Oct-13 18:38:05

Sweet Fanny Adams - isn't that the polite version of sweet fuck all? As in nothing.

Sweet F A also used.

WhoKnowsWhereTheSlimeGoes Thu 31-Oct-13 19:20:56

Sweet Fanny Adams was a real person, a young girl, murdered by a local man in Hampshire and dismembered. Her name became slang for stew, and then gradually assumed the meaning we know of worthless, nothing at all.

WhoKnowsWhereTheSlimeGoes Thu 31-Oct-13 19:22:08

This was about 150 years ago BTW.

YerDaftApeth Thu 31-Oct-13 19:34:36

That's awful about Sweet Fanny Adams. I never really thought about where all these phrases/sayings came from.

Quangle Thu 31-Oct-13 19:38:27

You look like the Wreck of the Hesperus

WhoKnowsWhereTheSlimeGoes Thu 31-Oct-13 19:40:21

Her grave is quite near where I live. It was big news at the time apparently sad.

Quangle Thu 31-Oct-13 19:47:52

My eye and Betty Martin ...meaning a likely story. Or as my generation would say "Jimmy Reckon"

The Betty Martin bit is a corruption of theLatin for "bless me st Martin" though I dont know why.

tiggyhop Thu 31-Oct-13 21:57:24

Has anyone contributed "have your guts for garters" yet? Brilliant

Tiggy I use guts for garters a lot!

And heavens to mugatroyd

And ecky thump

And my favourite is " well I stood there like piffy" .... I think it means standing not knowing what is going on

I also like " pimple on a muffin"

And "eee well I'll go down to the bottom of our stairs"

I am a mancunian ( 9 generations) and proud as punch!

YerDaftApeth Thu 31-Oct-13 22:17:39

I love 'heavens to murgatroyd'

A few people have mentioned variations of 'eee well I'll go down the bottom of our stairs' I'd never heard that one before.

DwellsUndertheSink Thu 31-Oct-13 22:26:04

I love some of these - my dh is a yorkshireman, and Im a Pompey Skank, so we have need of translators at times...

Has anyone mentioned:

"Hells Bells and Buckets of Blood".

"Bloody Nora" is one of my aunts favourites - who was Nora? and equally, "Gordon Bennet" - who was he?

"I dont give a fishes tit" (the equivalent of a rats arse)

DwellsUndertheSink Thu 31-Oct-13 22:28:06

oh and "you look a Bobby Dazzler"

What about squinny Dwells? I'm from the Pompey area too and only ever heard it there, never in any other place I've lived.

JemR234 Thu 31-Oct-13 22:35:29

To children who are asking for something because someone else has it, my grandma used to say 'Eee, if you saw the sea you'd want a wee.'

My mum said it to my DS the other day and it really tickled me.

DwellsUndertheSink Thu 31-Oct-13 22:38:06

Yes to squinny! My kids are always squinnying!

flatiron Thu 31-Oct-13 22:38:19

Her Grandma to Mum, then Mum to me - "You'd try the patience of Job and ten thousand Jobs". I never used to think I was that naughty grin
Was Job very patient?

flatiron Thu 31-Oct-13 22:58:22

Mum also, when I was being particularly (and evidently irritatingly) skittish - "Stop acting the giddy goat"!

SerenaJoy Thu 31-Oct-13 23:11:49

We used to be threatened with being sent to 'the home with the jaggy trousers' if we were naughty (jaggy meaning itchy or prickly).

If someone was a bit gobby they were said to 'have a mouth like Gibb's Entry'. Gibb's Entry is a close (alley way) in the old town in Edinburgh.

Also 'cough it up, it'll do the cat' if someone had a particularly, er, productive cough... [boak]

SerenaJoy Thu 31-Oct-13 23:19:28

Oh and 'scrubbing a hammock' as a response to the question 'what are you doing?' (normally used derisively when it was quite obvious what they were doing...).

flatiron Thu 31-Oct-13 23:50:28

At school, if people were asking nosy questions, the usual response was "Trunky want a bun?", while doing the elephant sign with your arm flapping in front of your nose!

GemmaTeller Fri 01-Nov-13 08:59:49

flatiron we used to be 'giddy kippers' smile

KissesBreakingWave Fri 01-Nov-13 10:07:02

"All my eye and Betty Martin" comes from "Ora mihi Beata Martin" - Pray for me Saint Martin. Patron of soldiers.

tiggyhop Fri 01-Nov-13 12:22:52

Heavens to Betsey ?...

themidwife Fri 01-Nov-13 12:33:13

"Well this won't knit the baby a new hat!" & "Where was I when the bed broke?" - things my Yorkshire Nan used to say. gringringrin

themidwife Fri 01-Nov-13 12:35:03

And "She couldn't stop a pig in an entry!" about someone with bandy legs!! grin

clary Fri 01-Nov-13 12:35:42

Ooh yes an old colleague of mine used to say "well, this won't get the baby a new bonnet".

I still say it to indicate I need to get on with some chores/work etc instead of sitting about. -- Not that I ever do that --

GemmaTeller Fri 01-Nov-13 12:45:07

'sweating balls of whitewash' hmm

EauPeanUpTheGatesOfHell Fri 01-Nov-13 12:47:34

Sod that for a game of soldiers.

If wit were shit you'd be constipated.

We also used to get the offer of a 'knuckle sandwich'

BeckAndCall Fri 01-Nov-13 12:54:19

Without going through all 13 pages - did anyone give the correction derivation of Apeth yet?

<puts on best Yorkshire accent>

It's correctly written as Ha'apeth - an abbreviation of the 'half penny worth' or shortened to 'ha'penny worth'. Meaning, of course, less than a full penny worth - being a bit dim!

all those years of listening to the grandparents talking in riddles seems to have been leading just to this moment grin

Lovecat Fri 01-Nov-13 12:56:18

Yes, Clary, my mum used to say that one too!

Sazzle, we used to say 'spied ya!' or just 'spy!' when we were kids if we'd caught someone out, but I never realised it came from "spied yer arse", as I never heard anyone say the full version...

I think that the Hesperus was a ship that ran aground and broke apart.

And I vaguely remember being told many years ago that Piffy on a Rockbun was a corruption of Patience on a Monument (ie a statue), but how one got corrupted into the other I don't know!

Lovecat Fri 01-Nov-13 12:57:01

We also had (courtesy of our Glaswegian Brown Owl)

Those that ask, don't get
Those that don't ask, don't want.

squishee Fri 01-Nov-13 13:02:36

This thread is great. Glad it's in Classics.

Dadisms from the 80s (me Dad was from Up North):

Pack it in!


Pocks on it!

And yep,

Yer daft ha'peth.

We'd get pop delivered in glass bottles in the run-up to Crimbo. Dandelion and Burdock was a favourite.

goodasitgets Fri 01-Nov-13 13:04:01

When I asked why?
Because Y isn't a Z

Corygal Fri 01-Nov-13 13:17:44

My mum, who is very posh and old, frequently bewails the poor quality of clothes these days. Of course we were on the top of a bus when she pulled off a loose button and announced "What a really frightful blow job".

When I protested, she claimed that 'blow job' is army slang for a bad bit of work. Never have I heard this from anyone else, filthy old bitch is my sainted mother.grin

Artus Fri 01-Nov-13 13:29:27

Someone day dreaming - Stood there like Joe Lock i'the park! (A statue in a park in Barnsley!)

My Grandma when asked for something e.g an expensive toy "You can have it when my ship comes in"

DwellsUndertheSink Fri 01-Nov-13 13:57:25

my granny used to say:

"patience is a virtue
Virtue is a Grace
Grace is a little girl who didnt wash her face"

also, if one burped...

"Pardon Mrs Harden, there's a sparrow in your garden"

Thymeout Fri 01-Nov-13 13:59:40

Short arms, long pockets - someone who's tight with the cash.

Mumpers - people who time their visits to coincide with mealtimes.

Sew your clothes on your back, you'll end up in the workhouse. (I guess because it's lazy not to take the garment off and mend hem/sew on button properly.)

In my family, it was 'What's for dinner? Bread and pullet.' Pullet is a sort of chicken, a capon?

A drama-llama was 'Sarah' - after Sarah Siddons.

Annanias (or shortened to Annani) when I was suspected of telling lies.

YerDaftApeth Fri 01-Nov-13 14:07:10

Eau I'd forgotten about 'if wit were shit, you'd be constipated' it's a good one.

BeckAndCall it is ha'porth I just always heard it as apeth. I'm from Yorkshire, think it was used a lot there.

DH says 'trunky want a bun'

YerDaftApeth Fri 01-Nov-13 14:10:26

'Put big light on' was another one.

'Take your coat off, or you won't feel the benefit when you go outside'.

These have already been mentioned up thread, we used them a lot in our house.

KissesBreakingWave Fri 01-Nov-13 14:53:54

If brains were dynamite, he'd not have enough to blow his own hat off.

(I'm actually coming back here and reposting them as I hear them.)

ShriekingGnawer Fri 01-Nov-13 15:05:15

GigiDarcy - it's not 'swings in roundabouts' it's 'swings AND roundabouts'. As in, it all evens out in the end, what we make on the swings we lose on the roundabouts.

This thread is great. My mum said 'get a wiggle on'. Dad used to threaten to marmalise or spiflicate us. I use the same on my kids. And threaten to defenestrate them.

BeckAndCall Fri 01-Nov-13 15:16:15

YerDaftApeth - will I'm from the East Riding and we do talk our own dialect out there!!

Quangle Fri 01-Nov-13 22:44:48

my grandma used to say that "bread and pullet" thing - I never really knew what it meant beyond the notion that there wasn't anything very exciting for dinner.

MadonnaKebab Fri 01-Nov-13 23:21:34

I think the Piffy on a Rockbun one is
Puffin on a rock

themidwife Sat 02-Nov-13 07:47:46

Another classic - "I'm neither use nor ornament!" meaning looking & feeling shite today!

AnyFuckerForAScone Sat 02-Nov-13 08:19:55

I have just reached SlangKing's post.

I tell my dc to stop being a big girls blouse. blush

Daft apeth is a favourite too.

Does anyone else say Cute as a button? Game as a pebble - that was my grandad and the only other place I have seen it is in Georgette Heyer which he definitely didn't read!

YerDaftApeth Sat 02-Nov-13 11:55:30

We say 'Cute as a button" in our house AnyFuckerForAScone

Another one DH sometimes says is when someone asks what's for dinner he says 'shit with sugar on'.

GemmaTeller Sat 02-Nov-13 15:55:07

playground threat: 'd'yer want a knuckle butty?'

Stellarpunk Sat 02-Nov-13 16:21:07

Ohh not read 'you'll 'ave me in Dickie's medah' which is Lancastrian and means if I don't do get in smart us hand do something, it's like bring in Richard IIIs meadow. Us Lamcastrians, we bear a grudge for a long long time!

And another racist one, to the question, 'where is mum?' 'She's run away with a black man!' Shocking!

Stellarpunk Sat 02-Nov-13 16:22:54

Jesus wept that made NO sense!

It means you need to get on with the task in hand, or it will go bad for you.

Oh and 'not as green as he's cabbage looking' is a backhanded compliment.

Gobbolinothewitchscat Sat 02-Nov-13 16:33:07

Ooooh - lots of them:

"Stop acting like Sarah Bernhardt" if we were being overly dramatic or whiny

"What Jock shot at the loch" - if we were pestering to know what was for tea

"What's good to gie is good to tak" - ie if someone's acting unreasonably/unfairly they shouldn't be surprised if people act the same way in response

Being "left to cool in the skin you got hot in" - not reacting to someone being unreasonable or a child having a temper tantrum

My Mum also talks about the wreck of the Hesperus and "looking like a bag of rags"

SanityClause Sat 02-Nov-13 16:40:21

My father used to say ""Bunkum!" if something was incorrect.

Information on something (like leaflets or instruction manuals, that sort of thing) was called "Guff".

An old boyfriend used to say, "I'm so hungry, I could eat the dick off a low flying duck."

MaMaPo Sun 03-Nov-13 02:41:16

I have plenty of (Australian flavored) ones of these, but I have heard loads of the above from my kiwi parents and grandparents.

Flat out like a lizard drinking - very busy indeed

Few sandwiches short of a picnic/ a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock / as thick as two short planks / as thick as pigshit - not very bright

My mum always told us kids, that we were 'carrying on like a pork chop', ie making a fuss. She never knew what it meant. Then we heard the full expression - ','carrying on like a pork chop at a Jewish wedding'. !!!

Laquila Sun 03-Nov-13 07:19:18

He looked like a matchstick with the wood scraped off / his legs were like knots on cotton! (He was thin)

Do you want a slap across the belly with a wet fish? /a poke in the eye with a sharp stick? (God knows what these meant!)

Stop standing there like Piffy on a rock bun (stop standing there looking gormless)

There's enough blue sky to make a pair of sailor's trousers (stop moaning - the weather's not that bad)

All from my Mancunian family

Orangeanddemons Sun 03-Nov-13 09:31:16

I don't know about the finny haddock border on sky blue pink.

Where I come from it's sky blue pink and red all over.

And a seasonal one. What are you waiting for? Christmas? To those who won't get a move on, or indeed a wriggle on.

Wouldn't get to hell in a handcart is also another favourite....

Orangeanddemons Sun 03-Nov-13 09:35:34

That won't butter no parsnips, meaning that won't get you much money

NatashaGurdin Sun 03-Nov-13 10:24:26

My family come from East London and Hertfordshire and my Nan and Mum used 'all fur coat and no knickers' as above and 'all kippers and curtains' when I was a child which mean the same thing of someone pretending to have more money than they actually have.

My Grandad used to say 'how's yer luck?' in greeting, I think I've the only other place I've heard it though was in 'Only Fools and Horses' and he would use cack handed for clumsy.

They also used 'more front than Blackpool' (which I suppose could be similar to the above but I think it means audacity/cheekiness) and my Grandad used 'cow son when he was drunk (he was too polite to use it when he was sober!), pony and monkey for sums of money and a kite for a cheque.

My Mum used 'cloth ears' when we were children and not listening also 'deaf as a post' (bit of a theme there!) blush

YerDaftApeth Sun 03-Nov-13 10:35:27

Laquila the ones like 'better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick', were used (by us anyway) when you had to do something you didn't want to do, or if you'd stubbed your toe, or cut your finger

YerDaftApeth Sun 03-Nov-13 10:38:16

We used to say that one Orangesanddemons about 'what you waiting for, christmas? Then when it was very nearly Christmas we said 'what are you waiting for, next Christmas?'

Thymeout Sun 03-Nov-13 10:43:06

Natasha - did you have 'half a dollar' for five shillings?(25p) Wish we had the same exchange rate now. And 'a farthingsworth', a v small quantity.

My family were cockney, thought 'pee' and 'wee' were a bit rude. They said 'diddle' - from Jimmy Riddle. Also 'rozzers' for the police. Don't know where that comes from. But lots and lots of rhyming slang.

'Get your skates on' for 'hurry up!' (A bit of a sore point for me. I always wanted roller skates and they were too 'dear'.

'What's that got to do with the price of fish?' when someone said something off topic.

DownstairsMixUp Sun 03-Nov-13 10:48:42

My dad used to tell people (usually on the phone moaning about me as a teenager) that i was "swanning around like lady muck" when i was a teen and sloping about the house doing nothing. My nan used to say people were like abbots dust cart if they went back for seconds!

Khara Sun 03-Nov-13 10:50:23

We had cheeky arab, daft apeth, dragged through a hedge backwards; but it was Piffey on a lettuce leaf in our house.
My mum still uses the phrase "blood and stomach pills" to convey annoyance.

Orangeanddemons Sun 03-Nov-13 10:52:41

I remember Put that in your pipe and smoke it. No one ever says that anymore.

I now say you can shove it where the sun don't shine. Sound better in Yorkshire dialect as in Tha can shove it where the sun don't shine

threepiecesuite Sun 03-Nov-13 11:01:19

'Straighten your face' if you look sullen
'Got a head like Birkenhead' if you have messy bed hair

threepiecesuite Sun 03-Nov-13 11:01:55

Also, got a head like a burst couch.

NatashaGurdin Sun 03-Nov-13 11:12:21


Don't remember but it is quite likely! My Nan and Grandad also used 'Gelt' which is a Jewish/Yiddish word for gold or money I think. My Nan had connections with the horse trade through her Grandfather as did my Grandad. I think it might have been how they met through mutual friends and they used to go to car auctions when I was a child where a lot of cash rather than cheques was in use. My Nan also bred and raced greyhounds before and after the war when my Mum was a child and there are a lot of connections between the horse and dog racing trades obviously. She always used the word 'Didicoy' for non Romani/Gypsy people and she knew a few words of the Romani language, specifically ones related to training horses and dogs as this is where she mixed with Romani people most often.

Not sure if it was common to the rest of the country but where I grew up the police cars had a red stripe along their sides and were known as 'Jam Sandwiches', now of course all the forces have their own livery.

YerDaftApeth Sun 03-Nov-13 11:17:32

I also remember using those Orangesanddemons the 'put that in your pipe and smoke it' and 'shove it were the sun don't shine. I'm from Yorkshire so maybe they were used a lot there!

Also remember 'get your skates on' Thymeout. Did you ever get any roller skates? We still use 'what's that got to do with the price of fish'.

Thymeout Sun 03-Nov-13 11:37:38

Natasha - my family were SE London, fewer Jews and Gypsies? But my grandad went to Catford Dog track every week. Which reminds me. 'Let the dog see the rabbit', if we were crowding round something and needed to move, if someone couldn't see.

Yer - No skates but enjoyed buying my dgd a pair last Xmas. smile

DownstairsMixUp Sun 03-Nov-13 11:50:40

My grandad always used to say it was as "black as your hat" to forgot about that. My nan always used to use "put that in your pipe and smoke it!" they were from east london!

MisterBadExample Sun 03-Nov-13 16:04:24

"As black as a yard up a pig's arse." When I was little I thought they meant yard as in enclosed space at the back of a house. I wondered how you'd get one up a pig's arse. And how hard the pig would struggle.

LegoAcupuncture Sun 03-Nov-13 16:14:49

"Their budgie has died" - wear trousers that are too short, ie, you're wearing your budgies trousers.

"Worky ticket" - child being a little annoying

"Little horror bag" - as above

HouseAtreides Sun 03-Nov-13 16:16:38

I don't know if it has been mentioned but I often say "Where do you think you are, Butlins?" to the DDs if they ask for something perfectly reasonable ie a biscuit.

Hushabyelullaby Sun 03-Nov-13 16:42:08

Natasha we're originally from N London and my mum always used to use the word Cow son (in her accent it was 'Caaaaa....son'). It must be a Londoner thing because I heard Chas n Dave singing 'Rabbit' not long ago and there's a line in that that goes 'gitcha (get you) cowson'.

Bob's your uncle (which later on also had 'and Fanny's your aunt' added on to it.

'Gotta see a man about a dog' - i.e do something

'Don't get your knickers in a twist' - don't get worked up

This is hideously discriminatory but a lot of people seemed to use 'bent as a nine bob note' i.e. gay

NatashaGurdin Sun 03-Nov-13 18:06:36

Yep all those are familiar Hushabyelullaby! The accent on cow is as I remember too! smile

I remember 'bent as a nine bob note' as being more not legal/criminal rather than gay though? Unless it was different in east and north London perhaps? There were other words used for gay or bent was just used on its own. I have certainly used it in the not legal sense even though I don't remember using pre decimal money and my Mum still says 'what's that in old money' when faced with metric measurements!

It seems that a few words of the gay slang Polari made it into the general slang as well, I use 'troll' meaning 'to walk about' rather than the common Mumsnet meaning grin which I must have picked up from my family as I've always used it ever since I can remember.

Wearers of trousers at half mast used to be asked if their trousers had had an argument with their shoes or socks.

NatashaGurdin Sun 03-Nov-13 19:56:18

Just remembered my Mum's been known to say that a man's trousers were too tight by saying that they were 'so tight, you could see his religion'. blush or smile!

Orangeanddemons Sun 03-Nov-13 20:01:45

I remember "bobbins" from my time in Manchester. Meaning not all with it, eg, he's bobbins.

Also where did Chop chop meaning to hurry up come from?

Laquila Sun 03-Nov-13 20:12:59

Apeth I think you're right about a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. And another one from my dad (said in response to me saying 'I thought etc etc..") - "You know what thought did?? Followed a muck cart and thought it was a wedding! Thought once when he should have thought twice!"

Also, in response to being asked what you were looking at - "I don't know - the label's fallen off"

YerDaftApeth Sun 03-Nov-13 20:46:11

I'd completely forgotten about the label one Laquila my Dad used to say that all the time! Though he said 'I don't know the labels dropped off'

Orangesanddemons I've a feeling 'chop chop' might have come from when they used to execute people by beheading them. Don't know for sure but it wouldn't surprise me.

Orangeanddemons Sun 03-Nov-13 21:25:27

No, I've just looked it up. It is an old naval term, but it gave its name to chop sticks, as the Chinese seemed to eat so rapidly with them!

YerDaftApeth Sun 03-Nov-13 21:41:12

Good at least it's a good meaning!

hoobypickypicky Sun 03-Nov-13 21:51:04

I'm looking at you all a bit old fashioned at all these memories. BTW, my hands are filthy, as black as nookers knocker because I've been messing around from arsehole til breakfast time cleaning up.

I haven't a cat in hell's chance of getting anything done but, as my greatnan would have said, fiddlesticks to it ducks!

hoobypickypicky Sun 03-Nov-13 21:52:33

Oh my giddy aunt, I'll go to the foot of my stairs if I haven't thought of another couple!

ILoveAFullFridge Sun 03-Nov-13 21:57:28

Many of my friends' parents used to say "Who do you think we are? Rothschilds?" whenever kids left lights on or did other wasteful things.

GemmaTeller Sun 03-Nov-13 21:59:11

DH says 'as black as newgates knocker'

GemmaTeller Sun 03-Nov-13 22:00:09

I'm from oop north and DH from the east end, sometimes I come out with these phrases just to wind him up even after 20 years grin

DownstairsMixUp Sun 03-Nov-13 22:01:32

My Nan says that still GemmaTeller i didn't think anyone else said it!

Helliecopter Sun 03-Nov-13 22:50:39

I use 'apeth' too, and mither smile
I actually said "eh up" to someone the other day. Made me laugh at myself. Could I be any more northern?! shock

YerDaftApeth Sun 03-Nov-13 23:08:58

You could have said 'hows tha doin' as well to be more northern wink

poii10 Thu 07-Nov-13 13:36:35

In Manchester one of Lewises was a prostitute because the Ladies used to gather in the archade next to the shop.

FastWindow Fri 08-Nov-13 16:33:34

Smack in the eye pie for dinner

Go and play on the M4

Go and count grass

All my charming dad's replies to childlike enquiry.

FastWindow Fri 08-Nov-13 16:34:12

Smack in the eye pie for dinner

Go and play on the M4

Go and count grass

All my charming dad's replies to childlike enquiry.

FastWindow Fri 08-Nov-13 16:34:45

Stupid phone! Sorry.

I still do use Daft Apeth. My mum used to call me Fanny Adams as a kid and db was Our Horace confused.

Rare as rocking horse shit, gi the dog a bone, you look a right bobby dazzler and if thee had half a brain tha'd be dangerous - all these were used regular as well as loads of others on here. If I'm honest I still use loads of them.

I was in my mid 20's before I even realised mardy was a regional thing!

Oh and up thread I read as Na then being used as a greeting...I do that sometimes to. Na then..
How does? Or how ya diddling?

YerDaftApeth Fri 08-Nov-13 19:25:21

Today I've called DD a Daft Apeth and a giddy kipper.

MERLYPUSS Mon 11-Nov-13 12:04:31

Tied up like a sack of washing/ like a sack of shit tied ugly - untidy person
Well shit in a hat an punch it - I declare!
Done up like a dog's dinner/pussy's lunch - dressed up
More front than Woolworths - Cheeky person
In and out like a fiddler's elbow/ up and down like a whores drawers/ like a fart in a colander - can't sit still.
We use 'chews bread for our ducks'
Shit order - posh dress

YerDaftApeth Mon 11-Nov-13 13:41:05

We used to say 'more front than Blackpool' rather than Woolworths but same meaning.

Hadn't heard about 'done up like a pussy's lunch' dogs dinner one I knew, might have to use it now!

mrspolkadotty Mon 11-Nov-13 14:43:34

YY to daft apeth, born in a barn, mithering, ginnels, teacakes etc. East Lancashire here.

DH is always most confused when i tell the kids to "Get up them dancers" - Go up the stairs.

My Grandad's favourites include "Rough as a badgers arse (either feeling rough or describing someone as)" and "Well i'll show my arse at big lamp (suprised)" hmm

Grandma - "Well i go t'back of our church" and "Yer pots for rags you are (daft)"

MrsDeVere Mon 11-Nov-13 20:09:31

I thought of another delightfully violent phrase from my 70's childhood.
'punch up the bracket'

what does it mean?

I know what it means but not what the bracket is exactly

ILoveAFullFridge Tue 12-Nov-13 07:45:06

It's "born on a bus" in London grin

saintmerryweather Tue 12-Nov-13 08:51:51

if we were sulking we would get 'pick your chin up off the floor' usually followed by 'Appy Annie'. used to piss me off even more!

my mum used to say 'dink' as in 'you silly dink' (affectionately!)

ProfYaffle Tue 12-Nov-13 09:11:12

'bobbins' is more a thing of little worth, so instead of being rubbish, something's bobbins.

I love Skrike (cry), apparently it comes from the Scandinavian for scream so probably came over with the vikings. I think it was the Killing Series One which ended with the killer saying "I heard her scream" really slowly and I recognised skrike (or something similar).

My Nan had a great turn of phrase. If one of us grandkids moaned that one of us had sweets and the others didn't she'd say "And if I give her a shitty stick would you want one an' all?", well no, but she's got a Wagon Wheel. hmm

We also had 'How's yer belly for spots?' and 'Spotty Muldoon', no idea where that one came from.

Katinkia Wed 13-Nov-13 16:36:38

'Stuck there like a shag on a rock'
That's one I've seen on Digitalspy and I immediately loved it. I've used a few times but I just get funny looks not unusual
Here in Hull people say 'chowing' to describe people arguing or making a fuss. That's how I've interpreted it anyway.
'Rough as a bears arse' is also one of my personal faves.

choccyp1g Wed 13-Nov-13 20:42:02

If we left lights switched on in empty rooms, my Dad would go round turning them off and chanting "have mercy on the man who pays the bills!"

themidwife Thu 14-Nov-13 06:26:10

Paul O'Grady came out with a classic on the Telly yesterday "Leaky as a glass blower's arse" gringringringrin

BalloonSlayer Thu 14-Nov-13 06:36:53

bracket means nose.

We also used to say "It gets right up my bracket"

rhyming slang perhaps? Bracket and . . . urm . . . confused

Spotty Muldoon isn't from the Goon Show is it? Or am I confusing it with the Dreaded Lurgy?

TheEarlOfDoncaster1963 Thu 14-Nov-13 20:23:41

Pardon Mrs Harden, there's a pig in your back garden!

Who's "she", the cat's mother? (when you referred to a woman as she, rather than her name)

Cheese please, Louise.

Shut up and give your arse a chance!

You give my arse headache.

Couldn't catch a pig in an alley (bow-legged person)

Fur coat, no knickers.

What's that, scotch mist?! (or chopped liver, for variation!) - i use this A LOT with my son who can never find anything!

YerDaftApeth Thu 14-Nov-13 20:38:57

Oh yes 'cheese please Louise' we say that to DD a lot!

My MIL always says 'upsy Daisy, downs a buttercup' if DD falls over.

themidwife Thu 14-Nov-13 21:29:39

Red hat, no knickers!
No better than she ought to be!
A sandwich short of a picnic!

MERLYPUSS Thu 14-Nov-13 21:54:05

Anyone know why my mum called a hat a kaydee?
She is long since dead so I cant ask but her dad was a docker in Southampton, her mum jewish and when GP died the family moved so nan could work in Woolwich arsenal.
Could be yiddish, army or naval slang. Probably spelt wrong but I've googles and cant find anything.....

PigletJohn Thu 14-Nov-13 22:37:42

KD (used to be) Khaki Drill, a pale brown cotton fabric used by the Army. So surplus stores sold e.g. KD shorts ( left over from service in North Africa or other hot dry places)

"Rabbit" is from "Rabbit and Pork" (talk)
In London (perhaps elsewhere) butchers in poor districts didn't carry beef or mutton from farms, but cheap local meat, and there were Rabbit and Pork butchers.

My grandad used to say 'I'll go to our house' rather than to the foot of our stairs.
I love these sayings, I'm from Yorkshire, and use lots of them. It's my cultural heritage!

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter Fri 15-Nov-13 00:06:53

Useful as a chocolate fire guard/teapot

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter Fri 15-Nov-13 00:12:23

Built like a brick shit house

daft as a brush/box of frogs

..thanks OP will be obsessing about this now grin

YerDaftApeth Fri 15-Nov-13 12:23:00

I'd forgotten about 'built like a brick shit house' love that one

DH says 'mad as a box of frogs', I'd never heard it until then.

Like your nn thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter is it from Father Ted? I'm the OP by the way, I name changed. grin

onetiredmummy Sat 23-Nov-13 21:26:09

I heard a new word from my Yorkshire grandma this weekend & thought of this thread grin

DS2 (4 yo & healthy weight) eats whenever he can, he's always on the lookout for crisps/biscuits/sweets/chocolates that I don't tend to have at home but Yorkshire Grandma has them in ceramic bowls dotted around the surfaces. So he asked for some crisps & had a couple, then he had a peanut or 2, then he had 2 biscuits then he asked for some chocolate & YG turned to me with a startled look & said 'blimey, he's a little grompher isn't he!'

What a great word! & it describes him perfectly! It can also be used as a verb eg he is gromphing all the Roses! grin

YoniGetAnOohWithTyphoo Sat 23-Nov-13 23:55:14

PMSL at these. My mum also used to go on about 'the wild woman of Borneo' and 'you're like a fart in a colander', thought they were figments of her imagination!

Also: 'you don't look at the mantlepiece when you're poking the fireplace' (why men do the dirty with ugly women...) and 'she'd say anything but her prayers' (for liars/women of ill repute).

From colleagues: 'it's like knitting fog!' (when something/someone was exasperating) and 'I could eat a buttered frog' (when very hungry).

MERLYPUSS Sun 24-Nov-13 09:42:24

Like herding cats - impossible task

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