Strangest complaint you've ever received

(321 Posts)
bdbfan Sat 26-Oct-13 12:54:54

Following on from the thread about ridiculous tourist complaints, what's the strangest complaint you've ever received?

I'll start, I run a small cafe, a lady ordered a toasted sandwich then asked for a refund because it was toasted. She said she didn't realise it would be heated in a new fangled thing and wanted something from the 90's.

I still have absolutely no clue about what she was after.

Wishfulmakeupping Sat 26-Oct-13 12:56:47

I used to work in a well known c

Wishfulmakeupping Sat 26-Oct-13 12:57:44

I used to work in a well known coffee shop and on a weekly basis I would get complaints that the expresso had no milk in or that the cappuccino was frothy grin

(NHS Podiatrist)

That I wasn't wearing a dress shock
I wear a white tunic, respectable trousers (I think at this time they were navy regulation clinic trousers. So not see through or arse hugging).
And I have to sit on floors etc.

Yes, they actually wrote in to Head Office that I wasn't wearing a bloody dress.

I'd have loved to have seen the Official Reply.

PottyLotty Sat 26-Oct-13 12:59:58

I got a complaint because I said 'good morning' to someone in a library which was displaying the 'silence' sign. grin

Though a bloody dress wouldn't be a good look either blush

carabos Sat 26-Oct-13 13:07:09

Working in a florist shop one day a customer came in and complained that her sweet Williams had lasted two weeks which meant she couldn't buy some new flowers unless she chucked them out. She liked to change her flowers weekly and we were selling ones that lasted too long hmm.

Terrortree Sat 26-Oct-13 13:55:40

That there was a water leak next to the road opposite my house (but on the other side of the road from my house).

The water company dug up a metre section of the side of the road, in front of a neighbour's house (HO), fixed it immediately, re-tarmaced it, and left all without me noticing/hearing nor seeing a damned thing.

Sadly the Water Company didn't inform the home owner (HO) that there had been a leak outside her home. Nor did they inform her that they had fixed it immediately and that they had re-tarmaced the it of road. Nor did they assure her that no permanent damage had been done to anything by anyone at any time. She was most distraught when she noticed the re-tarmacing, and realised there had been a leak.

She was so furious her permission had not been sought to do work on the public road that she rang up to complain. The water company informed her that I had made the complaint about the water leak on her side of the road.

I hadn't. I knew fuck all about it.

First I knew about the leak was when she was shouting at me complaining about a leak, that I hadn't caused and knew nothing about. She is so cross with me she wrote to the council to complain about me. Council have even been to visit as well but wouldn't really enlightened me as to why they visited.

And if you can make sense of that you are doing better than me.

stopthiscrap Sat 26-Oct-13 14:03:57

When we were houseparents in a UK boarding school, two parents complained that we woke the children up and evacuated the building at 3am. The alarm activated because there was a small electrical fire but apparently we should have just put it out and silenced the alarm. Especially as Tarquins was playing in a match the next day and should have been left to get a good nights sleep.

TwoStepsBeyond Sat 26-Oct-13 14:04:35

Bdb I imagine she was after a proper Breville burn-the-roof-of-your-mouth-with-its-molten-filling toastie, not some poncey panini with griddle marks and salad garnish!

Water leak lady is quite obviously nuts.

farrowandbawl Sat 26-Oct-13 14:07:14

"You're looking well, very well"

Still, to this day not quite sure what she ment by it. Took it as a compliment though.

farrowandbawl Sat 26-Oct-13 14:08:34

Oooh, comp*laint*.

Sorry blush

<goes off to find glasses>

outragedofsuburbia Sat 26-Oct-13 14:11:33

Ha ha! Farrowandbawl you have made me laugh.

Soupqueen Sat 26-Oct-13 14:12:41

Solicitors firm.

A client complained that we were unprofessional as the receptionist called the solicitors by their first names.

tinmug Sat 26-Oct-13 14:15:25

An extremely polite customer once insisted to me that his sirloin steak was, in fact, pork.

farrowandbawl Sat 26-Oct-13 14:15:59

I do actually have one:

A collegue complained about me to our boss because....I finished pouring a pint for the customer she was serving.

Pint half pulled, had settled so was ready for the top up, customer stood waiting for it, I finished it gave it to him and she saw me and stormed off into the office.

gamerchick Sat 26-Oct-13 14:16:57

When I worked at asda I was collered by a customer who couldn't find a certain brand of butter. Helps her find butter and got a long tirade of abuse because it was personally my fault the packaging had been changed. I had to be rescued by a manager.

Same store Christmas time.. I got a ticking off from a customer for getting in her way.. apparently 5am is too late to start work when customers want to do their shopping hmm

outragedofsuburbia Sat 26-Oct-13 14:17:47

All as Saturday jobs:

In a posh bakery - that we did not sell any low-fat cake.

In Boots - that the cotton wool was not made of real wool.

AnyCoffeeFucker Sat 26-Oct-13 14:18:50

The house burger is not vegetarian. I want a refund. She got one too.

SeaSickSal Sat 26-Oct-13 14:19:00

I used to work on a reception desk which was by the lift. There was a woman in the office who didn't understand why we could not stop people farting in the lift and constantly complained about it to us. We would spray it with air freshener when made aware. But she wanted to put a sign up telling people not to fart in the lift and to ban 'repeat offenders' from using it.

gasman Sat 26-Oct-13 14:19:39

Someone complained I sent their child off to sleep too fast.

A customer complained that his dry roasted peanuts were too dry. Yes, seriously.

Customer complained that his statements came in an envelope with a small tree logo on (some recycling statement I think). He kept throwing his statements away without opening them because he assumed the letters were junk mail and that was my fault.
I actually had to do an official complaint response to this....confused

NonnoMum Sat 26-Oct-13 14:23:32

Very first job as a Saturday girl in a chemist...

A v old lady had bought some magnets the week before and came back in to complain that they didn't stick to her wall...

I pointed out that magnets tended to stick to, er, metal. She was VERY angry that no one had ever told her that.

And they say education system was better in th'olden days.

LionelRichieAndTheWardrobe Sat 26-Oct-13 14:25:07

Oh I have similar farrow, a colleague (someone who'd not been there as long me, so didn't have the experience) was remerchandising a bay, she'd finished one shelf and had put another up, her arms were full of products ready to put on the shelf. I piped up with 'oooh that shelf needs to go down a notch or two, otherwise you'll run out of space at the top, here let me help you' and I lowered the shelf for her.

she complained to the boss saying I was interfering. confused

I never bothered to help her again.

AngelsLieToKeepControl Sat 26-Oct-13 14:25:22

I worked on the customer services desk in a supermarket.

A lady came in absolutely raging because she had bought a video (it was a while ago now) for her grandson and it was far too violent for the rating on it. He had been up with nightmares all night and was really upset.

She had already complained to trading standards, the people who produced the video and someone else (can't quite remember who) and she threatened legal action against us for stocking it without a warning on it.

The video? Thomas The Tank Engine grin she was so mad because Thomas had come off the track and she didn't want her grandson knowing such things happened.

I called the manager and he stood in all seriousness telling her that it might be a gentle way to broach the subject of disasters happening and that no, we wouldn't be putting a warning sticker on it. She left threatening to sue the company, our branch and me and the manager..... funnily enough we didn't hear anything else after that.

Catypillar Sat 26-Oct-13 14:25:47

Not me, but a colleague got a complaint because she was doing resuscitation training (for hospital staff, not the public) and she had said, "This is a laryngeal mask airway. It looks like a fanny on a stick." Someone complained about her being rude. I suppose she was being a bit rude, but it does indeed look like a fanny on a stick.

Thisuserhasblockedyou Sat 26-Oct-13 14:25:53

Once worked in a pet shop and a customer came in with a dead bird which he bought 1 year previously. He complained that the bird died before it reached it's 'average' lifespan and wanted a refund.

Lj8893 Sat 26-Oct-13 14:29:02

That we didn't sell cath kidston stuff.

I work in Laura Ashley.....why would we sell cath kidston?!

DameDeepRedBetty Sat 26-Oct-13 14:31:29

Thisuser how long after he left before one of you started reciting the Dead Parrot Sketch? grin

SaltySeaBird Sat 26-Oct-13 14:31:59

Long time ago working in a cinema ... customer complained wanting a refund as the sex scenes in the romantic film he had just seen weren't shown in sufficient detail. It was a 12 certificate ...

goodasitgets Sat 26-Oct-13 14:33:21

For not telling someone in asda where the sugar was. She stormed off ranting that if I was going to impersonate an asda employee I should at least do the job hmm
I was wearing ambulance uniform with a huge AMBULANCE and NHS logo hmm

complexnumber Sat 26-Oct-13 14:33:47

I imagine there are thousands of MNers now wanting to know if the bird was a Norwegian Blue, blockedyou

ScarerAndFuckItsAGhost Sat 26-Oct-13 14:34:17

This isn't a work complaint but a neighbour a few doors down.

Our door numbers are very similar. Think 112 and 122. Occasionally the postman makes a mistake or someone makes a typo on an envelope and we get each others mail. Perhaps about three times in two years they had had something of ours and vice versa.

I used to walk down the road, only five doors down between the two numbers, and post their stuff through their letterbox.

The first time they got something of ours they came and knocked and gave it back. The second time they pushed it through the door. The third time they wrote a very angry note on the envelope asking us to please learn our own address and give it to people properly because they were sick of receiving our mail.

Was very strange. They really seemed to believe that we were deliberately giving out their address instead of ours, just for the fun of having them walk 30 seconds up the street to re-deliver it. confused

Customer in a pub I worked in took a dislike to us mopping the floor behind the bar after closing time. Customers get 20 minutes after last orders to drink up and leave and he complained that we shouldn't mop the floor until after that time was up.

We were told by our manager to wait until those 20 minutes were up, so we did. Unfortunately this didn't stop the man complaining, every night, despite the fact that we had no mop, no bucket, hadn't even put the water in the bucket ready to mop and the cleaning fluid was still in the cupboard. He was insistent that even though he couldn't see it, he could smell it and he knew what we were up to. I think he thought we were gas lighting him or something hmm

So many from running pubs and hotels:

"My steak has been cooked on a dirty grill - look, it has got lines on it!"

"I can't see the lake from my room" (Shuffled everyone around, got him a lake view, 3am get a phone call complaining that the ducks keep quacking and are keeping him awake)

"I can't get to sleep, the moon is too bright and there is no traffic. It is far too quiet"

"My extra well done steak still isn't here - I ordered it 15 minutes ago"

"My (blue) steak is cold" (Yes, but it has been at the table 10 minutes and wasn't exactly piping hot to start with!)

Can't say I miss it tbh! smile

ceramicunicorn Sat 26-Oct-13 14:38:18

I worked in a seaside fish and chip shop as a teenager. At least once per shift a customer would demand a replacement as a seagull had eaten their chips.

NCISaddict Sat 26-Oct-13 14:40:22

Someone complained to me when I was buying doughnuts, apparently I wasn't setting a healthy eating example as I was wearing an ambulance uniform at the time. I did feel like saying if everyone was healthy I would be doing myself out of a job.

Thisuserhasblockedyou Sat 26-Oct-13 14:41:08

If I remember right it was a lovebird, he brought in the remaining live one and made a big scene about it not surviving without a mate. The refund hot refused and in a strop he let the live one fly off into the shop. We managed to catch it later on and rehomed it.
Never heard of the dead parrot sketch...

ScarerAndFuckItsAGhost Sat 26-Oct-13 14:41:49

We also get no end of complaints at work because we won't accept foreign or forged money.

AnyCoffeeFucker Sat 26-Oct-13 14:43:12

Christ what a wanker this poor bird. Better without him as the owner no doubt.

killpeppa Sat 26-Oct-13 14:46:11

I used to work in a cinema,
a guy ordered done hot nuts & brought them back telling me they were stale.
told him the machines gets fresh ones everyday so not possible, we had 2 machines so gave him a new tub from the other machines.
again brought them back saying they were stale.
I told him he was wrong and ate one myself.

he then told me he knew they wernt fresh as they had been left so long they were warm...


When I was pregnant a bitch woman I worked with put in a series of complaints against me including

I told my friend I was pregnant before I told her - this friend met me daily from my train and walked me to the office because I was fainting regularly.

I was skiving in the toilets regularly. This was after she found out I was upduffed and she didn't believe in morning sickness.

I was getting extra holidays. I worked from home on afternoons when I had midwives appointments because of how far I lived from the office.

I wouldn't move heavy file boxes when we moved the office around.

Each time hr made me attend a formal investigation meeting and for the boxes one they tried to give me a verbal warning. They were actually surprised when I told them I woildnt be returninghmm

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Sat 26-Oct-13 14:48:38

I've said this on here before but a long time ago worked in an Audi dealership. Customer came in one day with a Mercedes. He had an Audi as well but today he's out in his Mercedes and it's making a funny noise.

After it's been up in the workshop for about half an hour he starts complaining about how long it's taking. So I said well if it had been an Audi they'd probably have some idea of the problem.

He said 'you cheeky little bugger!' shock

I still don't know what he thought I meant.

DameDeepRedBetty Sat 26-Oct-13 14:50:47

This is the Dead Parrot Sketch, Thisuserhasblockedyou

killpeppa Sat 26-Oct-13 14:51:30

more cinema-

booked tickets, turned up late & missed the start. requested refund.

didn't like movie-requested refund

100 million people used to bring back salted popcorn as they didn't realise it was salty instead of sweet when we offer then a choice before serving.

the movie is too loud and could we turn it down?!

SHRIIIEEEKFuckingBearBlood Sat 26-Oct-13 14:52:24

Angels I was on that customer's side till you said it was Thomas smile
Lol at the quacking ducks!
We stayed in a Centre Parcs log cabin type place last year. Someone left a bad review because it was too quiet and all you could hear was the wildlife. I think they needed a cabin near the karaoke.

AtticusMcPlatypus Sat 26-Oct-13 14:58:37

Worked for a well known major supermarket on the customer service desk. One day, I was on my own and a customer, elderly chap, brought back a half chewed bit of something unidentified wrapped in clingfilm. It turned out to be a piece of meat from a chicken pie that was inedible apparently. After apologising profusely, I offered him either a refund or a replacement. This is where is went really weird. He told me he was a high functioning medium and would have to ask for some advice from the spirit world as to whether he should accept a replacement. He put his hands up to his head, went really quiet like he was concentrating on something and apparently started to converse with the spirit world. As you can imagine, I'm a bit hmm by this point. Typical that nobody else is there to witness this either! Anyway, after his chat with the dead, he decides that yes he will have a replacement after all. Wtf? Had subsequent dealings with same customer - once he wrote an essay on the back of a bit of old cereal packet alleging that mercury was present in the product and it was facilitating communication with aliens or something equally strange. Needless to say, I didn't escalate that one!!

AlwaysChasingRainbows Sat 26-Oct-13 15:01:45


ikigai Sat 26-Oct-13 15:03:45

Had one woman complain that her single espresso was "literally half the size" of her husband's double espresso.

Another complained that her iced mocha was cold.

That reminds me, Spanish night, lady complained that her soup was cold. (Gazpacho, and yes, the menu description did say it was served chilled!)

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Sat 26-Oct-13 15:11:16

I worked in a supermarket depot, which happened to have a competitor's store 300 yards away. The delivery vehicles used the same access road.

On a regular basis the Tossco depot would get complaints about Sodbury's vehicles and vice versa.

There was also the man who wanted an HGV driver sacked for sticking to the speed limit. He was a shareholder and his dividends were being reduced by "this ridiculous work to rule".

Somehow his name, address and registration were leaked to the fleet. I believe he has a never ending supply of groceries, especially eggs.

D0oinMeCleanin Sat 26-Oct-13 15:13:27

A couple of weeks ago someone tried to order "BBQ Ribs, but with none of the boney stuff" I was certain no-one would actually try and order ribs without ribs grin so replied "I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understood that properly, what is it you were after?" Upon which he complained that the ribs he ordered last week had too many bones in them, so could he order some more but with no bone this time confused hmm

AnyCoffeeFucker Sat 26-Oct-13 15:14:28

CAn you clarfiy that last but disgrace - I feel I am missing a joke.

Stropzilla Sat 26-Oct-13 15:29:00

Working in a call center someone decided they shouldn't have to repay a loan and wanted to complain about me having the cheek to suggest they should. I gave my name as asked and they refused to believe me! I ended up saying Oh fine Yes you caught me my name is really Michelle. They very patronisingly said there, doesn't that feel good to tell the truth? I agree, they ringoff. 5 mins later a very confused manager asked who Michelle was.

Thisuserhasblockedyou Sat 26-Oct-13 15:41:29

Dame thanks for the link. It is hilarious, wish I'd have known it back then, could have had a good laugh.

ImATotJeSuisUneTot Sat 26-Oct-13 15:47:14

As a waitress I had a lady tell me it was my fault her son had died.

I felt quite sorry for her as she was obviously grieving but after twenty minutes of being followed around the restaurant while she ranted and swore I had to ask her to leave.

That was actually the day I left. Final straw type incident - the manager knew what was going on but didn't intervene at all.

PuppyMonkey Sat 26-Oct-13 15:51:24

I work at a local paper and our editor had a complaint letter the other day from a woman who didn't like being described in an article as a 'grieving widow' saying: "I'm not grieving. I was married to him for 40yrs and it was bloody hard work."

Remembered another from when I was waitressing.

A set menu was given for a function one night. It had a separate vegetarian option.

Customer asks me if her soup is fully vegetarian and made with veg stock. I said yes, I'm sure. She asked me to check with the chef. I did. Returned and told her it was indeed vegetarian.

She then asks to speak to the chef. So she asks him the same questions then announced she didn't believe us and wouldn't eat it!


HeyMicky Sat 26-Oct-13 16:04:51

I work for a major broadcaster. We recently had a complaint that our social media should not be publicising soaps, it should be talking about Jeaus because he fixes the drama in people's lives

ScarerStratton Sat 26-Oct-13 16:15:29

Oh, I am loving these grin

killpeppa Sat 26-Oct-13 16:45:37

heymicky- your winning in my book!


AngelsLieToKeepControl Sat 26-Oct-13 16:57:36

I once called Live and Kicking (Saturday morning TV) up and asked them to be quieter because I was hung over and the TV remote was too far away for me to reach, the guy on the other end of the phone couldn't say anything for laughing.

Another time I phoned up sky and asked them to ask the sign language lady at the bottom of the screen to take a step to the right because I couldn't see a bit of what was happening. The guy on the end of the line there was trying to be so professional in his advice as well, but was also laughing.

I came to the conclusion that me + alcohol + a phone + a TV = me being an idiot and making stupid complaints.

BloodiedGhouloshes Sat 26-Oct-13 16:59:25

I once addressed an e-mail to 'Dear Colleagues' and got severely bollocksed by my boss because I was just a newbie and how dare I place myself on the same footing as some of the illustrious people working with me.

True story.

itsblackoveryonderhill Sat 26-Oct-13 17:04:42

I had a student complain about me because I gave him some assignment feedback in my staffroom rather than a classroom. [Confused]

I had to be told about the complaint so I asked my boss about how the investigation would work. She said, "this is the investigation." She was as bemused as me.

I'm a landlord.

A tenant complained that the birds' dawn chorus kept waking her up and what was I going to do about it? (Kill all songbirds in East London perhaps? I really don't know what she expected).

And another one wanted me to send a pest control company round as when he sat outside in the evening he kept getting mossie bites. (Considering there was no standing water in the garden, which was in any case the size of a pocket hankerchief, even if you could get pest control to spray mosquitos in your garden, which I doubt, it would hardly be likely to make any difference - I tried to explain this to no avail).

DropYourSword Sat 26-Oct-13 17:11:57

I was once shouted at for over an hour by a man who was unhappy with the care his wife had received in labor. In a previous pregnancy. That she'd had at another hospital. Where I'd never worked. In a country I'd never visited. Before I'd even qualified as a midwife!

foslady Sat 26-Oct-13 17:18:22

When working for a Housing Association - slugs are coming into my garden from next door....

I own a small marketing company, a client cancelled his contract last week complaining that we have found him too many new customers and he can't keep up with the pace anymore grinshockgrin

In a previous job somebody wrote to head office threatening legal action because I'd "looked at him funny" hmm

"You have a nice rack but your nipples aren't brown enough."


THEN was puzzled when I broke things off with him shortly after!

RalphGnu Sat 26-Oct-13 17:21:01

I worked as a bingo caller and during an interval a lady complained that every time she got down to two numbers I 'changed my voice so she wouldn't win'. confused

Another time while I was calling, a customer won a large jackpot of a few thousand pounds. Everyone was really pleased for her and when I went over to congratulate her, she looked at me like I'd shat on her baby and said "THAT won't pay my electric bill, you fucking idiot!" and walked out of the hall loudly shouting about how rubbish I was and how I'd conned her. hmm

The manager took her membership card and asked her not to come back.

Hmm. On second glances, most people's replies seem to be work related. Fuck. I'm not a prostitute, honestly!

Millions from my student days working for a major supermarket:

Too much surface water in the carpark. It was autumn and check my mn nickname as to why that was slightly not my problem.

For some reason a pair of rubber gloves from another store ended up in ours. Bloke would not have it that I could not put them through.

We had run out of specific shade of lipstick from a cosmetics concession over which we had no control. I helpfully suggested trying the Boots right next door. Literally the doors are adjacent. She complained to customer services. And then the girl on there told me off.

I was subjected to a tirade of abuse because the supermarket's top of the range mincemeet was not labelled Luxury but 'Supermarket's Top-of-tge-Range'.

HomeEcoGnomist Sat 26-Oct-13 17:24:36

Foslady - you just reminded me of my time working for a council housing repairs department. A lady called up to tell me there were armadillos coming through her living room wall.
I didn't put that on the ticket...

AlmightyMess Sat 26-Oct-13 17:27:11

I have two. I worked in a Bingo hall once and the old ladies didn't like female staff. They complained that I was too young and made the uniform look slutty. All the young male staff got boxes of biscuits, I got sneered at.

In a shop I once worked in, we got a written letter of complaint that we were selling tshirts with demonic symbols. There was a tshirt with a modern design with some lines on it. Some lines crossed and it was slightly lower than the middle, so inverted cross to this guy.

Thisghosttrainisreversing Sat 26-Oct-13 17:28:59

I used to work in the office of an alarm fitting company. One day the boss was off to install a system at an old lady's house.

I got a phone call from the lady saying that a man had turned up in one of our vans but he couldn't possibly be the right man because he had a beard. grin

I assured her he was the right man and that in fact he was the owner of the company (thinking this would please her) She replied "oh no, I won't have an alarm installed by a company ran by a man with a beard" and hung up. grin

I got a complaint from a photographer that the stage lights were reflecting glare off my boobs and could I please do something about them. (I'm the singer in a band btw, and I had a fairly low cut dress on).

Thisghosttrainisreversing Sat 26-Oct-13 17:33:45

Remembered a great one my mum told me years ago when she worked for Clarks.

An elderly gent had brought his leather slippers back because they made him trip up. He was asked if he thought they might be the wrong size. He replied no they were the right size but the glue holding them together must be letting off fumes when they were warming by the fire. grin

Catmint Sat 26-Oct-13 17:38:49

I am a complaint handler at work, I really wish I got funny complaints! smile

hellsbells76 Sat 26-Oct-13 17:39:57

I used to work in a shop and a woman called screaming at me because our delivery lorry was outside and she couldn't park and she was a POTENTIAL CUSTOMER and everything. I pointed out that we needed to stock up or there would be nothing for her to buy, and that if she'd let me finish the call and get on with unloading the lorry she could then park outside and grace us with her custom. She screamed 'YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE A JOB' and hung up. We were pissing ourselves all day over that one grin

smirnoff861 Sat 26-Oct-13 17:41:21

I once had a customer phone me and complain because I had the cheek to ask 'hope you are well' in an email, hr said he doesnt have time for all that rubbish.....but he has time to complain about it?? Idiot!

CatOfTheDay Sat 26-Oct-13 17:42:30

I used to work in a well known pub chain. A (male) customer wrote to the manager and complained that the girls' shirts weren't tight enough. hmm

MillyMollyMandy78 Sat 26-Oct-13 18:11:07

When we viewed the house we later moved into, the previous owners were telling us about the local area, very nice, quiet etc. Then in all seriousness started moaning about how the birds sang very loudly sometimes and how disruptive it was.

Got back from holiday a few weeks ago. Witnessed one lady shouting at the receptionist of the hotel about how disgusting the cleaning standards were. Sh had just checked in and found a single fingerprint on the window. Staff were very apologetic and sent someone to clean it immediately. That wasn't good enough, and she demanded to be given a different room!

Scout19075 Sat 26-Oct-13 18:31:45

I am an American living in England. I connected with a Guide unit within a month of moving here and almost immediately started on various qualification schemes. There was a complaint from the assessor doing one of my Nights Away qualifications that I was "too American" and that it would be "too confusing" for the Guides.

Um, I am American, I can't change that. And I had been with the girls for about 15 months at that point. They knew me, my ways, and I knew them and theirs. Besides, they watched more American television than I did!

I should have walked away from Guiding then since the comments were on my official assessment and they really pissed me off.

Mirage Sat 26-Oct-13 18:36:21

I used to work for a security company.A customer wrote in asking for details of intruder alarms,so I passed the enquiry to the lady who posted the leaflets out.She sent the info,with a typed letter asking them to contact Mrs Mirage if they had any questions or would like a quote.

A few days later,I had a furious letter from the chap,he was enraged that the intruder alarm info had a bit about security cameras on it.I phoned him to try and sort it out but he was incandescent with rage because I had dared to suggest he might need CCTV.I gently pointed out that the leaflet covered both options,but he wouldn't be placated,he was going to write to the directors and get me sacked,he was going to go to the papers.We never heard from him again after that though.

In the same job,I had a man threaten to turn up at our offices with a shot gun.His alarm was ringing and he wanted an engineer out.Unfortunately,he owed us money,so I refused to send anyone out until he settled up.He yelled at me,yelled at my manager and said he was on his way with his shot gun.However,it was such a long time since he'd paid us anything,that he thought we were at our old address,and we'd moved premises some years earlier.grin

I don't work there any more.It was very stressful.

ThisUsername Sat 26-Oct-13 18:55:30

Years ago I had a phone call that started, before I could say the normal burb, with "A bomb would blow you all up, I could do that you know" I without thinking I turned and said "Well, if your going to continue like that then I'm hanging up. If you want me to know what your on about and help you, then I suggest you adjust your tone"

After dealing with his problem (an unexpected Bill) I turned round to find a steaming manager who sent me straight to his office for speaking to a customer like that. Even after explaining I was still told off for it.

Apparently that wasn't the correct way to talk to a customer or deal with a bomb threat.

HR spent hours investigating what my manager was actually complaining about.

wigglybeezer Sat 26-Oct-13 18:57:40

I was happily browsing in my local library, when a man asked me where the books about dinosaurs were, I replied with something like " not sure, maybe over there" he launched into a furious rant because he had mistaken me for a librarian and though ai was not helpful enough.

Not very funny really except that it has happened to me twice in a library and once in a bookshop, I have glasses and wear my hair up, people see me and think librarian, if the pay was better I would consider giving in and training as one!

shoofly Sat 26-Oct-13 19:04:13

We were supplying wooden flooring to a client for his house. Our lovely sub contractor was fitting it. Unfortunately he was also fitting the very expensive custom order v posh vinyl flooring in the conservatory (supplied by our competitor).

Customer stomps into our showroom 15 mins before closing (sat lunchtime) because they have run out of the posh vinyl with about 4 strips to go. Stood over me shouting the odds. I explained that we didn't supply it or sell it & he needed to contact our competitors. But he couldn't because they closed an hour ago. He and his wife were having a party that night & it had to be finished fgs! If I didn't get it for him he would follow me home and sit outside my house all weekend! He was 6'4" built like a brick shithouse. I am 5'4". I apologised that there was nothing I could do and pointed out that they shouldn't be walking on the floor for 24 hours after fitting and maybe his guests could stay out of the conservatory? At this he became more incensed, reached over the desk, and started shouting in my face.

At this point another lovely customer, took him by the arm and suggested that if he didn't sling his hook he'd phone the police, by this stage I was a gibbering wreck!

SourSweets Sat 26-Oct-13 19:10:01

I install window displays, we once got a letter saying we were standing too high on the ladders and "how would her family feel if that young girl fell?" Quite sweet in a strange sort of way.

Mrsb999 Sat 26-Oct-13 19:11:43

Guests who were staying in the hotel I worked in complained to my manager that id ask them to leave the pool for being 'rowdy'. The truth is they were drunk and skinny dipping at midnight (pool closed 7pm ish) on their wedding night joined by......the brides parents!

Had I not had so many complaints from other guests about the nose they were making I'd probably have left them to it!!

fledtoscotland Sat 26-Oct-13 19:19:09

Someone was going to write to his MP as I wouldn't couldn't make ab appointment for him to see his GP. I don't work at his GPs practice or even for the same trust confused

Eminybob Sat 26-Oct-13 19:34:15

I work in a building society and one of my mortgage adviser colleagues had a very happy very looked after fish in a fish bowl in her office.

A customer complained to our head office that the fish was too big for the bowl (it wasn't) and demanded it was removed. My colleague was forced to take it home and put it in a tank with her other fish where it was promptly cannibalised by the other fish. That customer killed the fish IMO.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs Sat 26-Oct-13 19:35:16

I had a neighbour complain to me that my cat was coming and looking at her bird table, and this was putting the birds off (never mind that she herself had a cat that was Satan personified). I nodded very seriously and said I would have a word with him.

oinktopus Sat 26-Oct-13 19:36:40

I once had someone complain to me that a roomful of computers had mice with dirty balls.

LongTailedTit Sat 26-Oct-13 19:42:03

An extremely irate man once shouted down the phone at me for at least 20 mins at the company head office, because he'd travelled in a black cab with our company advert on it and the driver had been rude to him... hmm Apparently this was our fault!
My manager ended up coming down just to listen to him on my spare headset, he was quite something.

A disheleved local (v smart area) came into reception and leant right across the desk to shout and point in my face because he was sleep deprived and convinced someone from our office was persecuting him by shining lights into his bedroom all night.
Our lovely driver had to 'escort' him out for me, I was shaking!
It turned out the security lights from the scaffold on his building were being reflected back by our glazed building...
Um, close your curtains/blinds perhaps??

Another set of neighbours complained that they didn't like the typeface we'd used to label the floors of our (largely glass) building, and we should change it.
After the third visit, I said I wasn't keen on their curtains either, so could they please change them to something more to our taste. grin (Again, had permission from my manager!)

whilewildeisonmine Sat 26-Oct-13 19:45:30

I worked in Laura Ashley for a few years - there were no end of customers bringing back curtains etc that they'd bought in places like John Lewis and were disgusted that we weren't able to refund them...

The best one was a woman who had extended her dining room and wanted to wallpaper the new part to match the rest of it. She had brought a swatch of it in with her, it wasn't a current pattern so I offered to go through the old catalogues and see if I could find a SKU for it and do a stock look up to see if any other stores had any lying about in their stock rooms. The wallpaper was so old it had been discontinued over 15 years ago and of course no stores had any left. Well, considering how much effort I'd gone to trying to help her she hit the roof and was outraged when I politely suggested she might choose another wallpaper. Her words to me just before she stormed off - "you shops are all out to make money!" There wasn't really much I could say to that really...

AlpacaPicnic Sat 26-Oct-13 19:50:36

A 45 minute phone call that I hadn't presented his daughter with her summer reading challenge certificate fast enough. My arguments against being able to present it any faster were (1) the challenge had only ended two days ago (2) the certificates hadn't arrived from the printers yet (3) if1 and 2 were not enough, it was up to the schools to allow us into assembly, not up to me to turn up without permission and (4) I had 12 different schools to fit in, so someone was always going to be last.

Apparently none of those answers were good enough, I had let myself down and the library down, and the children down. He wanted the phone number of the city librarian and was going to complain about me. I told him that he was welcome to try.

tolittletoolate Sat 26-Oct-13 20:03:48

I worked at a big supermarket customer service desk and one day a man brought a whole 12 pack of toilet rolls back because the perforations didn't match up!

BeaWheesht Sat 26-Oct-13 20:07:04

When I worked in a well known pub chain a lady complained and it wasn't that she didn't have the right it's more the facts he was so apologetic about and mortified when really she should've been raging. Her apple and blackberry pie and custard, was, in fact, steal pie and custard.

Lj8893 Sat 26-Oct-13 20:11:14

whilewildeisonmine none of that surprises me!! I get at least one customer like the woman you described in a week!!

weneedtotalkaboutkettles Sat 26-Oct-13 20:14:12

NoSplash, you really made me laugh and read your username in a different light! grin

I had a parent complain I had charged out of a classroom and ran after her son screaming. I hadn't! I'd called after him "you've left your phone on the desk!" (it was a Friday afternoon!)

creepypenisreaper Sat 26-Oct-13 20:14:16

A woman complained that she was allergic to aircon and insisted that she got the seat that was being cleaned (someone had spilt juice underneath it so the whole thing needed wiped before it got sticky.) The thing is, the cafe had just been refurbed and was still awaiting an aircon system to be fitted so she was talking shite. I pointed this out to her and she said 'well, there is a cold blast coming from somewhere,' to which I replied 'You did leave the front door open on your way in. Would you like me to close it?'

I had a lady shout at me for 45 minutes as she felt our company were breaking data protection by publishing her bills on 'that Internet' so everyone can see. No matter how much I tried to explain she wouldn't have it.

It clearly said on her bill 'your bill can be viewed online at

She was clearly really confused and had told me she never used the internet but she was just so horrible to me that after 45 mins I told her we weren't getting anywhere and I would be ending the call. She'd had one too many swear warnings anyway.

AndHarry Sat 26-Oct-13 20:19:05

Loving the flowers living too long grin

edam Sat 26-Oct-13 20:26:30

'Why have you got BOOKS?!'

From someone touring our offices. I had no idea how to answer that one, apart from 'we do book reviews'... She was genuinely outraged.

Onesleeptillwembley Sat 26-Oct-13 20:27:51

I got told I was a disgrace, and the shop keeper was threatened with the police, for selling me wine and beer at 7pm at night in my 'school uniform'. It was a real rant. I was a 21 year old prison officer on my way home with my coat over my uniform. Ffs I was In my car! The shopkeeper had known me almost all my life and did serve me in sixth form uniform once I was 18.

gintastic Sat 26-Oct-13 20:28:25

I remember as a drunk student writing a letter to the people who make "I can't believe it's not butter" complaining that we could, in fact, believe it wasn't butter...

They sent us some vouchers and thanked us for our feedback!

Pollydon Sat 26-Oct-13 20:29:24

3 from working at a fairground.
The water in the log flume was real, customer assumed it was fake.
I had not dried the seats on a ride, it was outside and still raining.
I had apparently shortened the ride on a WOODEN rollercoaster.

FeckOffCupofBatBlood Sat 26-Oct-13 20:29:50

grin at the cat looking at the bird table too much.

edam Sat 26-Oct-13 20:34:13

Puppy, love the non-grieving widow. grin

Thesebootsweremadeforwalking Sat 26-Oct-13 20:34:27

Years ago I worked in a restaurant. A customer sent his pizza back to the kitchen because the anchovies tasted fishy and salty.

creepypenisreaper Sat 26-Oct-13 20:39:37

This isn't me personally, but a Chinese buffet near to where I live puts letters and e-mails from its customers (good and bad) on the walls near the entrance. On the way out one day I stopped to look at a hand-written letter the management had attached to one of the complaints. It read somewhere along the lines of 'The management here at (name of buffet) welcome all customers apart from the people who sent the letter. We do not believe in the discrimination of disabled people. Do not read if sensitive' etc.

I read the e-mail and it was a complaint from some heartless bastard moaning that a party of children with special needs should have been moved into the corner of the restaurant as they were 'making funny noises' and ruined his and his family's meal, and that they shouldn't be allowed near 'normal' members of the public.

Good on the management for calling the pricks out instead of brushing it under the carpet.

Bathtimesoaker Sat 26-Oct-13 20:39:57

My company organises lots of events and we've had some absolute classics. My favourite, from someone who had received and eaten a lovely and free meal, the cuttlery apparently was 'too heavy'.

What do you even say to that?

IsThatTrue Sat 26-Oct-13 20:40:47

I had a man having a go at me when he called my home phone. The number is advertised as a roofing company for some unknown reason hmm the conversation went a bit like this:

'Hi can I speak to the manager'

'sorry this isn't a business phone number'

'But it was on the van'

'I'm really sorry but this is my personal phone number'

'Well what is the number then?'

'I don't know, as I'm not them!'

'You're not being very helpful, I'm going to complain when I speak to the manager'

'I don't care as I don't work for them!'

I had to hang up, as he just wouldn't listen!

bruffin Sat 26-Oct-13 20:42:47

I was in a shop with a lady complaining her children were tramatized by a video her older son had bought. It was Shaun of the Dead and her children were 8 and 10 .She was going to write to the director saying it was misrepresented as a commedy.

I work at a city farm, cue moans from visitors about the smell hmm imagine that it smells like a farm confused. Get the odd complaint from people who've been bitten by something they were feeding... while standing next to a sign asking them not to feed the animals. But i think my favourite was a youth leader who complained when i gave her a row for allowing a child in her care to climb into a field full of potentially dangerous animals weeps
Get loads of weird ones from people who don't know about animals but that's what i'm there for. If you've never seen a chicken dust bathe then you would think it was having a stroke.

SHRIIIEEEKFuckingBearBlood Sat 26-Oct-13 20:43:37

Pmsl at the mice with dirty balls smile

Dawnywoo Sat 26-Oct-13 20:44:32

I also used to run a small café. it was called truffles and had a chocolate theme. I was famous for my chocolate brownies. one day, a regular customer brought one of my brownies back (first and only time) complaining his wife said the chocolate cakes weren't 'cooked properly'

I went into full-on Gordon Ramsay rant. Shouting and screaming about the being philistines. Not knowing and understanding what a 'brownie' is (i.e. not chocolate cake, but squidgy, dense, chocolate squares)

I HATED them for years. They came back. Arseholes. It was Nigella's recipe. What makes me so sad is that Nigella this year didn't defend herself against her vile husband. For some reason that made it worse.

I have also been on Masterchef. I think I may now be a diva.

SHRIIIEEEKFuckingBearBlood Sat 26-Oct-13 20:45:51

We get calls all the time for a chinese takeaway. Some are most put out whe I say they have ths wrong number. I should cook them something - that would ensure they never bother us again!

I worked in a deli years back and a woman came in asking for £1 worth of Brie. So I cut her this tiny wedge, it came to 99p (I am good at cheese grin), she paid and left. Five minutes later she returned to complain that her pece of cheese was too small. The boss gave her a refund to get rid of her.

Completely forgot about the complaints we regularly receive about the slides in the swing park being wet when its raining. Or that the Highland cows/Shetland pony are standing in mud/snow/rain.

AnyCoffeeFucker Sat 26-Oct-13 20:47:05

Our work phone number was similar to the local hospital dept. for something or other. We had a lot of irate people who insisted they had dialed the right number and why would we not put them through anyway. hmm

SHRIIIEEEKFuckingBearBlood Sat 26-Oct-13 20:47:50

Lol dawny I bet they felt all vindicated when that prick saod he didnt like nigellas cooking.
Or more likely they've had another brownie since and realised what fools they were

I worked at a share registrars (in the days of paper share certificates). I got a three page letter from a shareholder raging that we had ripped him off - he had paid ££££ for his shares and we had only sent him a share certificate for xxx 5p shares (he was confusing the nominal value of shares for the market value)

ScoutJemAndBoooooooooooo Sat 26-Oct-13 20:53:37

My son works for a major supermarket, not the fruit and veg department but he was walking through that dept wearing his uniform.

He was accosted by a customer brandishing a carrot, which apparently was far too phallic to be on sale in a family super,arket, and demanded to know why carrots were not screened before going on sale.

It was such an incovenience that she now had to buy the carrot and take it home "to protect innocent children".

Dobbiesmum Sat 26-Oct-13 20:57:54

Trying to serve a middle agedish couple at the bar, they ignored me until the manager came down with some change for the till. The man then asked the manager how old I was and then refused to be served by me as I was under 25 at the time and therefore would probably mess up the order (2cokes iirc!)
I was actually the restaurant manager and was doing the bar manager a favour due to staffing issues....

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Sat 26-Oct-13 20:59:13

AnyCoffeeFucker: the groceries weren't fresh and were delivered at high speed.

hellsbells76: Sounds about right. I was told, in all seriousness, that more deliveries should be made by pushbike. Considering a standard trailer load runs at 12 tonnes...

killpeppa Sat 26-Oct-13 20:59:47

another cinema one, I loved working theresmile

my boss was 73 & always asked for a nice hot cup of tea to be brought up to his office. no matter who made it it was always cold. we tried everything including microwaving it!

one day I made it not giving a shot cause he'd complain as usual, I brought it up & he took a sip, followed by a big drink of water then said...

'what the fuck are you trying to do? burn my mouth off?'

lucky I loved him to pieces the cheeky wee git grin

AnyCoffeeFucker Sat 26-Oct-13 21:00:06

Ah. I see grin

Dawnywoo Sat 26-Oct-13 21:06:57

Another café related incident - person who shall remain nameless asked how much for a jacket potato - I explained £3.25 with chilli and cheese, £2.95 with tuna or cheese. She said she just wanted a jacket potato. I said £1.50? She stormed out screaming at the top of her voice that I was a total rip off merchant...

It still fuck's me off to this day. If £1.50 was extortionate then clearly £1 wouldn't have been good enough either so therefore 50p was actually what she was after (btw the cartons cost 25p)

Mehrida Sat 26-Oct-13 21:07:43

I recently ran a corporate induction at work.

One of the happy sheets came back at the end with the comment 'it was a bit too corporate.'

I took it as a compliment.

Same guy complained about his seat being too far from the screen. Even though he'd moved it there himself against our advice as he wanted to be next to the door.

Regularly get complaints about the type of tea/biscuits we serve as refreshments.

Last week someone marked down the venue because she got stuck behind a road accident and it took her ages to get there.

EthethethethChrisWaddle Sat 26-Oct-13 21:09:03

Like a previous poster we often got post for another person (we lived in Close, they lived in Road, but they were next to each other) I always put their post through their door. They'd put my post back in the post box, with a note telling the postie to try my address etc. But they had to walk past our place to get to the postbox! Mad!

When we were selling our old place the estate agent gave us some feedback from someone who'd looked round.

It was too big. We were selling a one bedroom flat! How the hell can it be too big!

SHRIIIEEEKFuckingBearBlood Sat 26-Oct-13 21:11:58

Buyer speak for "we can't afford it but wanted a nosey"

EthethethethChrisWaddle Sat 26-Oct-13 21:15:27

Just remembered this one!

I was in a cafe with my friend, it sold savoury croissants or rolls. A woman came in and asked for a baguette. She was told they didn't sell baguettes, and, oh my god, she ranted and raved that she wanted a baguette and why wouldn't he make her a baguette etc, while the man told her they didn't have any so how could he make her one. She finally stormed off still ranting away.

EthethethethChrisWaddle Sat 26-Oct-13 21:18:03

SHRIIIEEEK It was a businessman relocating and he could have whatever he wanted as the company was paying! Obviously he wanted a teeny hidey hole, not our obviously palatial flat!

ThedementedPenguin Sat 26-Oct-13 21:29:24

I worked in a call centre for quite a well known company but in the financial sector. We would of received a lot of calls for other departments in the business and a lot if people would get very angry we couldn't explain his problem.

One Sunday a very drunk man phoned up looking to complain about the postal service he received. No matter what I said he refused to believe I couldn't help. Ended the call and he rung back continually until he had managed to speak to everyone on my team and the manager to complain how useless I was. Was a very entertaining day.

bubblebabeuk Sat 26-Oct-13 21:30:11

Love this thread

nothruroad Sat 26-Oct-13 21:34:31

Once a Year 8 pupil went to the deputy headteacher to complain that he had to work for the whole period in my class and that there was never time to sit and chat! I took it as a compliment.

tinmug Sat 26-Oct-13 21:36:28

A customer got shitfaced and fell off her chair in the restaurant and then emailed to say that our chairs were unsafe. Absolute prick.

mineofuselessinformation Sat 26-Oct-13 21:39:03

I had parents who complained that my classroom was too warm for their son as they didn't have central heating at home..... I did point out that he always refused to take off his very thick jumper even though he wore a shirt underneath.

Minky66 Sat 26-Oct-13 21:41:40

I am a nurse (brown eyes and hair) and a patient complained because he had been told that he would be looked after by a blonde haired ,blue eyed nurse and was genuinely aggrieved that he was stuck with me instead!

AndHarry Sat 26-Oct-13 21:52:21

In my first office job the MD got increasingly irate with me as I tried to explain why I couldn't use Google to search for a missing file.

Polyethyl Sat 26-Oct-13 21:54:07

A tenant rented a flat from us which is above a station and on a major road junction. He then complained that he could hear the trains and cars. He made himself so unpleasant it was simplest to just agree to him breaking his tenancy and going.

manticlimactic Sat 26-Oct-13 22:03:45

I work at a supermarket and a woman came in to complain about some grated cheese she had bought(first apologising for the ASDA carrier bag)as it was 3 days from it's use by date when she bought it (um it was in date when you bought it!). She was carrying on because she had forgotten her glasses and didn't read the date, couldn't bring it back until it was a week out of date, getting louder and louder as it was the shops fault she didn't read the use by date. In the end to shut her up calm her down I said I'd replace it, as it just wasn't worth the hassle of getting a manager. As she went to get her replacement I had a closer look at the packet as I hadn't seen that kind of cheese before and it was from ALDI. So not only had she brought it in an Asda bag it wasn't even our bloody cheese and I got a right shouting at. Couldn't wait for her to come back with her cheese so I could see her squirm.grin

ImATotJeSuisUneTot Sat 26-Oct-13 22:12:31

In my first office job the MD got increasingly irate with me as I tried to explain why I couldn't use Google to search for a missing file.

Love this!!!!!!! grin grin grin

the movie is too loud and could we turn it down?!

killpeppa I've stopped going to our local cinema because the volume is turned up far too loud!

One of our numbers at work is one digit different to the local opticians. We get a lot of calls from those who are, well, most in need of the optician. The irony...

Ooh , another strange one.
A lady I was treating asked my name:

"I'm Freda" I replied (obs not my real name^ )

"Oh not another Freda. " she said "My grandson was married to a Freda and she had an affair and left him with two children"

I was gobsmacked shock (not at the affair but just WTF has that got to do with me)

It's like me saying "Oh not someone else with a walking frame. My NDN uses a walking frame and he's a right c**t"

killpeppa Sat 26-Oct-13 22:29:15

weedit- honestly!
she came out and said she her daughter was 7 and she was worried about her ears.
don't come to High school musical then?!

banana87 Sat 26-Oct-13 22:33:21

A potential client once complained that I didn't call them back even though they didn't leave a message and until receiving the complaint, I actually had no idea who they were.

DP worked in a garden centre years ago. One old lady came in with a dead twig in her hand to complain her plant was dead, a year after she'd bought it. She even had her receipt.

So DP went through the care of the plant with her. Turns out (iirc) that a) she hadn't been watering it correctly and b) the weather in that year had not been right for the plant. Which, according to the company policy, she should have brought back complete, not just a twig, so they could check the plant over before deciding on refunds. So no refund because it looked like the plant died for lack of care.

She didn't like being told she wasn't going to get a refund, and took a swing at DP with a large, heavy handbag. If he hadn't blocked it, she'd have hit his face with that bag.

He still thinks it's funny that the little old lady swung her bag at him.

marriedinwhiteisback Sat 26-Oct-13 22:45:36

I have had classics from neighbours in all the three places I have lived in London and this spans more than 30 years.

Flat: The middle aged lady who lived two floors above me complained that I came home after she had gone to bed sometimes and my front door opening and closing disturbed her. The lady one floor above was fine. This was a London flat near a main road btw not a rural cottage in the middle of a field.

House 1: I lived at x number and started getting letters for the "neighbours" who lived at x number in the next road (our gardens backed onto each other). I used to hand deliver the letters the day they arrived with a little note. They came round very irate because the dh was self employed and my post man was delivering their letters to my house not theirs and what was I going to do about it. I remember dh finding this so hilarious he couldn't come to the door to help me out.

House 2: Our neighbours who are now late 80's complained when we moved in 20 or so years ago because I hung the washing out on Sundays. This was not Godly. They are dear souls and we look after them a bit now and 20 years ago rather than upset them, DH had a special trellis built around the umbrella line and grew climbing plants up it so as not to offend them.

The first was eccentric the second we think were bonkers and the third were/are (increasingly so) just old and set in their ways. We are moving on Friday and they are very sad and I will continue to make sure they are OK.

storynanny Sat 26-Oct-13 22:46:05

Ive often had the complaint that I let their children get nits, maybe they thought I kept them in the cupboard in the classroom?

fortyplus Sat 26-Oct-13 22:54:48

I work in housing. A lady complained that every Saturday morning a group of dads would come outside and play with their children on the grass outside her house. This was noisy and inconsiderate hmm I told her I thought it sounded lovely grin

cashmiriana Sat 26-Oct-13 22:55:26

There have been a few issues with a neighbour over the years, not with us personally but with other houses nearby. The best complaint was a letter threatening legal action against the people who lived behind her, because she claimed that their cats were sitting on her fence and wearing it out.

I got in trouble whilst working in a supermarket for smiling too much. Apparently, you shouldn't smile at customers as you don't know what they are going through.
As a teacher, I usually gave out reading for a Tuesday but because there was a holiday, I set it for the Wednesday. Parent complained that they couldn't do this as we were already past Wednesday. I tried to point out there would be a Wednesday next week too. She wasn't happy.
Parent who insisted that their child was removed from all religious aspects of school, wrote a letter complaining their daughter should be Mary in the Nativity as she was going to be a star one day.
Parent complained that I shouldn't be teaching the children about health and well being because I was so fat. I was 7 months pregnant, having previously been a size 10.

Abitannoyedatthis Sat 26-Oct-13 23:09:49

I called the fire brigade after seeing smoke coming out of my downstairs neighbours window - he was out. He complained to the landlord as the FB kicked his door in and broke the lock. It turned out to be a pan left on the cooker but I had no way of knowing it was relatively minor.

SundaySimmons Sat 26-Oct-13 23:11:05

My ex told me recently that my "biggest problem" is that I am too nice!

I'm so glad he told me that because it clears up my wondering why he cheated on me with a grotty tart! grin

Who'd have thought that being kind, loving and supportive to your partner would result in them complaining that you are too nice! I really must be horrible to my next partner in the hope he won't sleep around!

killpeppa Sat 26-Oct-13 23:12:42

dramajustfollowsme- hope you told the cheeky cow you were heavily pregnant!

HorsesDogsNails Sat 26-Oct-13 23:20:23

I had a client who a week after I did her nails rang me to complain about a 'gap'. I go to see her and the gap is the re-growth at the cuticle area..... I explain, re-do (for free) and another week on get another call complaining about 'the gap'...... I explain (again) that nails grow continuously, make the analogy to having your hair coloured and how you get re-growth at the roots, and she basically accuses me of swindling her out of money by her needing me back on a regular basis......

She couldn't/wouldn't get it!!

killpeppa, I'm afraid I don't find your one strange either. I've been to the cinema a couple of times in recent years and found it far too loud. One local cinema in particular is ridiculous. I won't go there anymore as it was physically uncomfortable.

i once had a complaint leveled at me that the cup of tea was tea and not coffee.i went away confused and confuddled

neversaydie Sat 26-Oct-13 23:46:19

I ran a training course recently.

The trainees were a mixed group from Asia and the Middle East, and my team who all helped with the course are from the UK, China and Belgium. The delegates were asked for feedback, which was generally very positive.

But I was roundly ticked off by one delegate for reading my presentation - in a session that was actually given by someone else. And the 2 team members from China were criticised for imperfect English. Both speak excellent, very clear English.

Linnet Sun 27-Oct-13 00:23:39

My friend works in a library and was telling me about an odd phone call she'd answered.

A lady had been in the library with her daughter and 1 year old granddaughter and she wanted to complain because the little reading hidey hole/tower had been removed from the children's library. She also wasn't happy about there being no toys for her baby granddaughter to play with as last time they'd visited there had been a small selection of soft toys/cubes etc which her granddaughter had played with. There was nothing for the baby to do and there had been other people in the library with their children and they were wandering aimlessly as there was nothing for the children to do.

My friend apologised, explained for hygiene reasons that toys had been removed the tower thing had gone to another library but there were colouring sheets available for children etc.

Lady still wasn't happy, turned out that she would arrive by train from another town and as the library was next to the station she'd meet her dd there so they could chat and the baby could play and not bother them. But now there was nothing for the baby to do and why didn't they provide more toys?

My friend explained that as they were a library they didn't have to provide toys explained story telling times etc but said she found it very hard not to be rude and just say "Well you could try reading her a book seeing as it's a library? or go to a playpark?"

InsultingBadger Sun 27-Oct-13 00:43:23

Place marking ... This is a good read!

Jellypudmum Sun 27-Oct-13 00:57:14

Two parents attending their child's nativity. We asked for a voluntary contribution towards a panto trip that followed. They said they thought the nativity wasn't good enough and asked for their £1 refund!!!

thefirstmrsrochester Sun 27-Oct-13 01:01:21

Subcontractor was at clients house to survey, asked permission to use toilet (survey took hour plus) and client said ok. Then phoned in a howling rage about it. Embarrassed, humiliated and disgusted at the lack of professionalism apparently. Eh............he is a human being too and if you didn't want him to use your toilet then why not decline his request?

Worked on an information line for the UKTV channels. A woman rang up to complain about the Two Fat Ladies because when they were making stock they had said to strain it through a sieve, a muslin or a stocking. I said it was probably a joke. Caller told me she has a food hygiene cert and this was not a laughing matter. Told me I should not allow such programmes to be made. I explained we didn't make the programme but showed old shows as repeats. Despite this she insisted that I get the Two Fat Ladies to film a piece saying don't strain stock through a stocking. She hung up when I said this wasn't possible as one of them was dead.

marcopront Sun 27-Oct-13 03:45:32

I had a jog which involved going round door to door. I was told off once, for ringing the door bell too loudly.

jammiedonut Sun 27-Oct-13 04:38:26

I've been screamed at for pouring the 'wrong' wine... Nope your dh ordered for you when you were in the loo and got it wrong. Duck salad was too 'ducky'. 'Seared' tuna steak wasn't cooked through. A dish named 'fillet garni', so steak with a garnish was served to a guest who didn't know what garni meant (I had already explained when taking the order as she was convinced garni was some sort of exotic animal). Steak arrives and surprise surprise, she isn't happy. Her steak doesn't taste right, it tastes like garni, not beef. She was most put out that I made her pay for it anyway! I also received a complaint for dealing with a complaint by asking, very politely, what could I do to rectify the situation and make them happy...apparently I made them feel put on the spot and uncomfortable and they didn't actually know what they wanted me to do. From what I remember they were a table arriving at 10pm on a Saturday night and were most put out that we'd sold out of our specials (dinner service starts at 6 pm) and they'd been looking forward to the specials all week ( they are updated twice daily so no way of knowing what they would be in advance). Nutters

sporktacular Sun 27-Oct-13 05:02:40

Marking place because I've had so many I think I might just come back and post them here as I get them in my current job.

Has everybody seen ?

sporktacular Sun 27-Oct-13 05:05:26

I should add I don't think I'm particularly rubbish at my job and complaint worthy or anything, I just happen to have worked for a long time in customer/client facing roles with "challenging" client groups..!

ravenAnyKucker Sun 27-Oct-13 05:44:23

Returning from a 2 day weekend residential to other end of country with 90 year 7s...

Parent: 'Why are you back early?'
Me: 'The motorway was clear, so we made good time - we gave you an estimated return time on the letter, & said we'd get the kids to text if it was going to be earlier or later...'
Parent: 'Well, our Lauren didn't text me.'
Me: 'Oh - didn't she?'
Parent: 'No. She says her phone was out of charge.'
Me: 'Oh dear. Didn't she bring a charger? I did ring school & get them to send an automated message saying we'd be back half an hour early, though, sorry you didn't get that either...'
Parent: 'I did get that. It said 4pm & the letter you sent last week said 4.30, so I was waiting to hear from our Lauren.'
Me: 'Erm. That was sort of the point of the autotext, to let you know...oh never mind. Just as well we eventually managed to get through to you, eh.'
Parent: 'Yes, well. Lauren's had to stand here in the rain for an hour waiting for me now.'
Me: 'Lauren & I have had to do that, yes.'
Parent: 'You should probably make sure you know what you're doing, before you take another trip. Lauren says the food was rubbish, by the way'.
Lauren: ' I didn't!...Thanks for the trip, miss'
Me: 'You're welcome, Lauren...'

IrisWildthyme Sun 27-Oct-13 06:09:21

brilliant thread!

Another vote for it being perfectly true that some cinemas set the volume far too high - some films are ruinned by this.

I also think that (back on page 1, two examples) colleagues who complain about someone butting in on a job they have under control are correct - even if a colleague could do with some help it is rude to butt in without checking that your help is welcome - you may have misunderstood.

drama I think we had that parent here on AIBU - a huge ranty thread from a woman disgusted that her DC was excluded from the nativity play because she had insisted on withdrawing them from religious stuff - would not accept that she was being U.

- as a fundraiser I would, no more than once a year, send out an appeal letter to people who had a connection with the organisation. We always removed anyone from the mail list who asked to be, no quibble. Each year we would get an anonymous letter back from someone demanding that we stop bombarding them with begging letters - but as they never said who they were we were unable to comply.

FruOla Sun 27-Oct-13 06:41:29

Iris, that thread was utterly hilarious, wasn't it?! IIRC, someone else jumped in backing-up the OP (although there were mutterings it was the OP sock-puppeting) saying that Christmas and Easter weren't religious festivals, so the OP's DC should be allowed to be in the Nativity play grin

KenDoddsDadsDog Sun 27-Oct-13 07:07:23

Worked for an outsourced that handled an account for an ethical clothes / goods provider. We received a letter of complaint that there were no red headed models in the (very small) catalogue. The catalogue was sent along with the letter with the models circled saying things like "no red here"

DontMentionThePrunes Sun 27-Oct-13 07:21:28

Not me, but I once had lunch with my MIL <makes sign of the cross> and she spent quite a lot of time being uppity with the waiter. She'd ordered a prawn salad and was upset that it had salad in it. I sat in silence thinking 'it's true that you can get the measure of people by how they treat waiters' and seeing the rest of her life stretch before me (so far, not wrong).

Frequent complaints that the nocturnal house was too dark, the lions were sleeping and the aquarium 'just had fish in it'

Altinkum Sun 27-Oct-13 08:09:01

Customer comes in asking for a low fat meal... Suggest baked patotoe, played salad, whole grain turkey salad sandwich etc... No she doesn't fancy any of them...

She got cornbeef pie, chips and gravy, buttered bread roll, cleared the whole then complained to my manager that I made her fall of the wagon.

I had a customer call and shout at me for 20 mins about a broken appliance. I finally worked out she had bought it from currys and not us. She still thought i should have resolved it.

DwellsUndertheSink Sun 27-Oct-13 08:58:42

i worked in IT.

A customer called wanted us to rewrite software to allow her to do a specific function.

The cost of writing a specification for such a massive change would have been 3 weeks consultancy, and the cost of the change itself would have run into the hundreds of thousands.

We suggested a quick fix that would take less than 1 minute once a month and cost them nothing. We even suggested that a simple programme could be written to actually automate this process at nominal cost.

She ranted for a good half hour that she was the customer and we had to do what she wanted. She was so unpleasant that I escalated it to her boss. Needless to say, the change was never made.

MurderOfBanshees Sun 27-Oct-13 09:02:23

My two favourites were,
a) a customer complaining that I wouldn't use the self service machine for her
b) a customer complaining because I printed a photo of hers in real life colours, rather than making the grass a particularly garish shade of lime green.

TrumptonVandal Sun 27-Oct-13 09:05:08

Our neighbour complained that his fence had started to rot at the bottom. It's 18 years old and was in direct contact with the earth. But no matter, it was my fault, somehow. He launched into a tirade about how I was letting the neighbourhood down, my parents down (he's never met them!) and "worst of all you're letting yourself down." Apparently I should offer to pay for his fence repairs.

DH appeared and gently kept saying "Tony I'm confused. Your fence has rotted, but we should pay to maintain your home? Is that what you're saying?"

There was a lot of stammering from Tony, and then "well I didn't know YOU would be in, I thought it'd be just her!" angry

DH took him by the elbows and showed him to the door with a jaunty "Tony's leaving now!" and pushed him away down the drive. grin
What a bully!

Tubemole1 Sun 27-Oct-13 09:16:39

Years ago I was working with a colleague at Elephant and Castle Tube station who would cheerfully say good morning to our "customers" as he manually operated the lifts. One day a woman challenged him saying how dare he be pleasant and cheerful in the mornings, she wasn't feeling cheerful and neither should he.

She even wrote in about him. Luckily my manager at the time took my colleague's side, saying he had been given recognition for his approachable manner and excellent customer service.

NanettaStocker Sun 27-Oct-13 09:25:07

Finance manager complained to the head of IT because I emptied her email's deleted items. She'd rang the helpdesk because her mailbox was full. And now I'd lost important documents that she was keeping in there.

trixymalixy Sun 27-Oct-13 09:37:51

I also agree with the cinema being far too loud. I found it uncomfortable and almost painful.

Catchhimatwhat Sun 27-Oct-13 09:40:13

As pay of my job sometimes I give immigration advice. People often do not like when I inform them of the laws.

I don't make the laws.

I don't even always agree with them.

It is very "kill the messenger". Many people complain about me because they don't like what they hear.

I also think that cinemas are much too noisy!

I work in a utility company. I once had a complainant who was furious with us that he hadn't read or even opened his bill. He had thrown them away as junk mail. I apologised for the confusion and advised they are quite regular and these are the rough dates to expect them in future, or perhaps he could have them online and save the pdfs, no confusion. No, he wanted us to sent a notice, by letter, that his bill would be coming shortly to ensure he didn't just bin it- I agreed.but I've always thought, what's to stop him chucking the notices out as well? They're in the same envelopes!

nancy75 Sun 27-Oct-13 09:49:16

oh so many, i worked in accessorize and wouldn't give a refund for a hat she had bought in debenhams - i tried to explain we didn't sell it, it was from another company her wonder you work in a shop you are a stupid bitch that couldn't get a job anywhere else.

Working in a shoe shop - a man returned a "pair" of shoes that he had allegedly bought the year before and had been wearing for a year without realising they were odd. When he showed me the shoes one was a size 12 the other was a size 8 (the man was a size 12) i told him i would give him the money back if her put the shoes on - knowing full well he would never be able to get the smaller shoe on his foot - he went totally crazy and ran out in to the street. half an hour later he returned with 2 policemen screaming that i had robbed him and he wanted me arrested for stealing his money. The police were very apologetic and led him away, followed by his much smaller footed friend who had been waiting for him outside

Crabbypink Sun 27-Oct-13 10:02:12

Like Scout19075, I'm American, living here. Once got a complaint at work (I'm a solicitor) that my clothes were "too American, and could I please change that." I said I'd speak to M&S about the overly-American style of their clothing.

edam Sun 27-Oct-13 10:13:09

"She hung up when I said this wasn't possible as one of them was dead." grin grin grin

CalamityKate Sun 27-Oct-13 10:20:19

Sometimes films in cinemas ARE too loud. It can verge on the ridiculous at our local one. I've never complained yet but I might one day. What's odd about that?

ScarerAndFuckItsAGhost Sun 27-Oct-13 10:45:58

The one by someone saying they received a complaint from a passenger in a taxi because their business was advertised on the side of it reminded me of a complaint I received when I worked at a packaging company.

We make large woven bags for use in the building and farming industries. We didn't fill them or anything, just made bags and sold them on. They usually had the customers logo on them with ours much smaller underneath.

Some companies would buy the empty bags, fill them with fertiliser, and sell them on full to farmers.

I took a phone call from a man about 300 miles away complaining that one of our tractors had just nearly killed his wife and children.

We didn't have any tractors. We had a small van that was at the other end of the country from this man at the time, but we used a haulage company for our deliveries. Definitely no tractors though.

I tried to explain this. "Well it had your produce on the back, my wife saw your logo."

I explained about the bags. "Well give me the farmers name then!"

I explained that we didn't deal directly with the farmers and didn't know his name. "Well then you phone your customer and find out his name!"

I explained I couldn't do so as we had hundreds of customers who had hundreds more of their own.

In the end I took a number for my boss to call him back, as he now wanted to complain about the farmer and about me, as I was obviously "in collusion with the money man" and that I "did not care about the lives of young children."

Boss rang back and got an automated menu for a sexual health and AIDS research centre.

Boss put the phone down and accused me of making it all up to trick him into ringing a sexual health and AIDS research centre as a joke.


AmandaCooper Sun 27-Oct-13 10:46:39

I had to deal with a guy who was unhappy with the news that he would have to surrender his hire car before liability had been settled in respect of a road traffic accident. He was so angry that he determined to hide the hire car in his garage and claim it had been stolen - and wanted me to go along with this fraud on the insurer (my client). When I refused he went ballistic and actually wrote to my manager complaining that I had flatly refused to assist him with the crime!

ScarerAndFuckItsAGhost Sun 27-Oct-13 11:03:33

We once had a customer bring back a drink because there were pieces of bread floating in it.

This was a pint of lager pulled from a normal bar pump.

We all looked at his pint. It had blossom petals in it. We asked the customer where he was sitting. He was sitting outside near the blossom trees (which were not on our property).

We explained that we couldn't really be blamed for something falling in his drink after he had taken it away from the bar.

He called us a bunch of fucking morons and liars because he knew it was bread and we had a kitchen in the bar (which was closed that day).

Another customer bought a pint of bitter for himself and then came back to the bar a minute or two later to buy a pint of lager for his friend. He then started chatting to someone else for a minute or two and during his chat he drank a bit of the lager.

He must have gone back to his friend, who said his drink was short, and so he brought it back complaining that we had pulled a short drink and wanted it topping up.

We told him he had drunk it. He denied it, as it was lager and he drinks bitter. We said we had seen him drink it. He called us liars and idiots and threatened to call weights and measures on us.

He demanded to see the manager, who got so annoyed by him shouting abuse that he showed him the CCTV, where he could clearly see himself drinking the lager. He tried to deny that it was him on the screen but finally settled on blaming us for not telling him he was drinking it when we saw him as we should have known it wasn't for him.

killpeppa Sun 27-Oct-13 11:27:03

my xhusband works in a very well known watch and handbag shop.

He had a man come in the other day and say that hi watch had stopped working and that he had the receipt and wanted a refund- not a replacement as it was 'a bunch of tat'

xh told him he could have a look at it as it might just be the battery.
When he looked at it he told the man it was the battery and he would replace it free of charge as a good measure, but no refund.

the man hit the roof and demanded why he couldnt get a refund and was not pleased when he was told that they didnt give out refunds for this bought 7 years previously...

leezl Sun 27-Oct-13 11:41:52

I volunteer in a charity shop and a couple once came in and brought a Bob The Builder hard hat to the till, and the lady told me to take it off sale because it was unsafe for children to wear as a hard hat. Apparently it would offer no defence against falling items and that I would be liable if a child received a head injury as a result of wearing this hat (presumably on a construction site?!). The gentleman with her tried to persuade her that it was a toy and not meant as safety wear. She then asked me if I could have the manager reduce the price for her! I told her that I was the acting manager at the time, and I thought 50p was a perfectly reasonable price already. So then she said she'd have to make an official complaint to Trading Standards as I was selling a dangerous item! I was trying not to laugh and offered to take it off sale to placate her!
Definitely the weirdest complaint I've ever received.

AlwaysChasingRainbows Sun 27-Oct-13 11:57:34

Their are some proper Idiots about

QuickSqueezeCoolBreeze Sun 27-Oct-13 12:10:03

A customer called me over to complain that he had overheard two members of my team talking about another customer and that it was unprofessional. I had heard part of the conversation taking place so replied honestly that it wasn't about a customer, they were describing a Manager that they both knew (in terms of clothing he wore-big quiff/funky dress sense) He then complained about me that I was obviously lying as I had responded with a denial too quickly. Bit my lip so hard that day, I'm surprised it didn't draw blood!!

CiderBomb Sun 27-Oct-13 12:24:21

How do people who work in customer service roles manage to keep a straight face when receiving such ridiculous complains? The one about the woman complaining about Thomas the tank engine video being too violent would have had me in hysterics I'm afraid.

The woman who's house backed onto my parents, who they'd never even met before, complained about the large tree in my parents garden. Not because it was blocking light from their house but because the tweeting from the birds sitting in it in the mornings used to wake her up early.

My mum just pacified her by saying she'd see what she could do about it .I mean how the hell can you stop birds from singing?! Silly bitch! I've since found out that said neighbour has managed to fall out with most people on her street because she complains about everything, obviously has nothing else going on in her life.

nancy75 Sun 27-Oct-13 12:38:57

If you work in a shop/pub/call centre i think you just get used to idiots.
I had a woman want a refund on a cardigan because of the "shockingly poor quality" the problem? a button had come off, oh and the cardigan was 9 years old!

oinktopus Sun 27-Oct-13 12:40:34

Our IT department were complained about en masse because they said they were unable to fix a kettle. The strange thing is, the IT bod in question had been a little sarcastic.

IT: We can't fix your kettle
User: But it's electric. That's what you do, right?
IT: So is Bob's pacemaker but if anything went wrong with it, we'd sooner he saw a heart surgeon than come down to IT

The complaint was still that all IT refuse to do their jobs, rather than the sarcasm.

givemushypeasachance Sun 27-Oct-13 13:09:28

I once had someone write in and complain that I'd hung up on them during an awkward work conversation about regulatory stuff where I was delivering a message they really didn't want to hear.

They'd got pissed off and hung up on me. hmm

givemushypeasachance Sun 27-Oct-13 13:11:50

Also, this is third hand but I assure you it happened: someone made a formal complaint to a nursery when they collected their child and found a piece of dry penne pasta clutched in their hand. They said the nursery was being reckless allowing children to do craft activities with dangerously sharp pasta shapes.

sazzle82 Sun 27-Oct-13 14:17:10

I work in a complaints department and have had loads of bonkers stuff over the years.

We had a customer complain we had changed the registration of his car to our name. Why he thinks we would do this I don't know. Despite us and the dvla confirming this never happened he won't believe us and thinks we are in cahoots with them.

A customer once told me my mother was a cunt because I couldn't put him through to someone who had gone home for the day.

Recently had someone complain that a member of my team was unprofessional because they wouldn't transfer his call to someone who was on the phone. When i asked how he expected to be transferred to someone who was already on another call he said he understood that but shouldn't have been told no. He then wanted to speak to a director so he could make them feel how he felt.

Mattissy Sun 27-Oct-13 14:29:30

I used to work in a call centre for a mobile network, once in a heavy storm one of our base stations had been damaged, when I told one customer this he demanded the engineer be sent up to fix it immediately. When I explained it was considered too dangerous for the engineer to climb a mast in high winds, he said the engineer knew he'd have to face danger and risk his life when he took the job so should still be sent up! He told me he had a urgent call to make, when I pointed out he could make the urgent call from the phone he was using to speak to me he swore and slammed the phone down.

farrowandbawl Sun 27-Oct-13 14:32:23

Had a complaint because we weren't open. At 3am.

Because drilling holes into the walls was making a mess. - Errrr...yeah.

Because the plaster was still wet when he touched it - the wall wasn't even finished.

Because the lights weren't working...well no. You can't rewire a house when it's LIVE and they weren't even living in it.

Because the drill was too noisy - not a lot we can do about that.

Because another electrician 15 years before hand had put in a dodgy socket...we'd been in business 6 months at that point.

Because we didn't use the existing wires that were already in the walls - the job was a rewire...because the wiring hadn't been touched in 40 years.

Because we called when we were going to be 1/2 hour late to a job thanks to a puncture.

sashh Sun 27-Oct-13 14:44:41

Working in a cardiology department I took a phone call, apparently any fool could see the appointment we had sent out was for the day after his birthday.

I started a new teaching job, the previous teacher had been ill for some time so I had to do her marking. I pointed out one assignment was plagarised and put the web page it had been cut and pasted from. Apparently this was me being racist. I had never met the student. The student's name was something like John Smith so not typical of any particular ethnic group and anyway, they had cheated.

RetroHippy Sun 27-Oct-13 14:47:08

Cafe, have had complaints on the same day that the cappuccino was either 'all froth and no coffee' or 'not a proper cappuccino because there was too much coffee and not enough froth.' The second from the boss who was something of a wanker a coffee aficionado and obviously didn't believe that the customer knew best.

In a bar, 'There's cabbage in my salad.' It was from a pre-bagged salad mix (controversial) and was a bit of chunk red lettuce hmm.

DoubleLifeIsForAnyFUCKER Sun 27-Oct-13 15:17:21

I love these! Anyone else feel a bit sorry for the poster who originally said people complained cos the films are too loud?!

(whilst thinking yes some films are indeed played too loud)

CbeebiesIsMyLife Sun 27-Oct-13 15:21:59

working as a retail manager I was serving a customer at the till point. member of staff asked for help merchandising, I said just let me finish with customer i'll be right over. She stormed off the shop floor into my managers office and complained I wasn't giving her enough support hmm

I've also had to deal with a customer who was furious I wouldn't refund an item of clothing that was too big for her baby as she had washed it. My suggestion of keeping it till he grew into it was ridiculous apparently, and every one knows clothes should be washed before you even show them to a baby. She stormed out of the shop saying she would NEVER shop with us again.

BurnThisDiscoDown Sun 27-Oct-13 15:24:53

I work in an opticians and frequently get shouted at by patients who aren't entitled to NHS sight tests but think they should be. One particularly lovely lady shouted at me all the way through her son's eye test because he wasn't entitled to an NHS one (he was 17 and not in ft education). Apparently he's too young to claim other benefits so it should be covered by the NHS, I explained we don't make the rules, just follow them but she just kept on and on. I told her to write to her mp in the end I think.

One of my colleagues had a written complaint once; the patient had dropped her contact lens in the bin and my colleague wouldn't let her fish it out and put it in her eye! grin

killpeppa Sun 27-Oct-13 15:48:51

doublelife- maybe my ears have become desensitised to the noise grin

I would have seen her point if it was a guns and cars action movie but it wasn't it was 'my sisters keeper' haha

I work in a pet shop.

The two most ridiculous things I can think of [at the moment] are:

1. There is a dog in the office. Yes. He's my dog. You didn't even realise he was there until I walked by with him so he could have a wee.

2. I wouldn't sell a customer a coupler (which is a lead extention to allow you to walk 2 dogs off one lead) for one dog. They complained because I suggested they just buy a lead if they were only ever walking one dog with it.

LionelRichieAndTheWardrobe Sun 27-Oct-13 18:25:23

IrisWild - I was a supervisor, I'd have been a pretty crap one to let staff (especially not fully trained ones) go ahead and make rather big, time consuming mistakes. especially when it was on days when I was in charge and any jobs not done were on my head grin

My mother used to work in a popular bakery known for their sausage rolls. They had a customer complaining about wasps. The manager explained that they do all they can but unfortunately it didn't help much. The customer demanded they put a notice up. The manager - tongue firmly in cheek - said he didn't think that would work because he wasn't sure if wasps could read...

My MIL was a librarian. She had someone complain about all the half blank pages in books being a waste of paper.

I had someone demand to know why I had swapped the green ride on tractor that was up on display on the back wall for a red one. She insisted it was red the week before and would not believe me when I said it had always been green. She actually said "well how would YOU know?" Erm... because it was me who put it up there, it's me that spends every bloody day here. hmm

I'm so glad I only temp now... grin

ravenAnyKucker Sun 27-Oct-13 18:53:06

ooooh, I had a great plagiary one.

Parent: 'I can't believe you're suggesting ds plagiarised his coursework. That's a very serious allegation. I think I should terminate this conversation & speak to the Head about your attitude.'
Me: 'That's fine, Mrs Fruitcake - I've already spoken to him, so he'll know what it's in connection with.'
Parent: 'Well, it's ridiculous. I work for a University you know. What plagiarism detecting software have you actually used, hmmm?'
Me: 'Google.'
Parent: 'GOOGLE!'
Me: 'Yes - it's by AA Gill. It was in the Sunday Times magazine. Your ds tells me he was so pleased with his work, he uploaded it to his blog & Gill obviously plagiarised him.'
Parent <triumphantly>: '& can you prove that's not the case?'
Me: 'I'm reasonably confident that it isn't, unless your ds also does time travel...he'd have been seven when the article was originally published...'

cocoleBOO Sun 27-Oct-13 18:59:29

This is I don't work with the public, I'd have decked someone by now!

These are great grin

cocoleBOO Sun 27-Oct-13 19:00:25

This is why

AnyCoffeeFucker Sun 27-Oct-13 19:04:29

I too would happily have told a lot of these people they they were in fact morons. Has anyone tried this technique ?

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Sun 27-Oct-13 19:39:17

I wish I could remember half the people I had the misfortune of having to deal with when I worked. One particularly nasty customer that springs to mind is one who demanded a particular type of car for a test drive and flew into a rage when we said it wasn't available, because we didn't have every variation of every model in stock. That would be hundreds of thousands of pounds of cars sitting around, devaluing with every second, in case someone one day wanted to drive one. hmm

We managed to locate one at another site and my colleague offered to go and collect it and give it a quick rinse off when he got it back. Customer went apoplectic again because the car wasn't sparkling clean. Well he damn well knew it had just been driven over so wasn't going to be showroom condition!

He actually threw the keys on the floor! My colleague asked the mans wife very politely if she could pick them up as he had a bad back and she did! grin

And we had another one who demanded any loan car he liked when his was in for its service, and he'd have that one there thank you very much. hmm Well, no, you won't actually, because that belongs to another customer.

I will try and think of some more. What is it with some people when they have to deal with staff? Why do they turn into utter cunts?

98percentchocolate Sun 27-Oct-13 21:34:20

I once had a customer request a refund for an item that was too small for her child. I asked to see receipt, all was fine so I waited for the item. And waited. Eventually I asked to see it. Her dd was wearing it. She couldn't understand why I couldn't exchange something that had been worn all day and was clearly covered in food stains. Struggled not to laugh that time.

Also had a customer ring and tell me that the shop next door played Spanish sounding "hold" music and she wanted it to be something more English. I asked her what she wanted me to do about it and she said she just wanted to make me aware and hung up on me! Bizarre.

curlyclaz13 Sun 27-Oct-13 21:43:08

Working in an opticians, someone complained that a colleague had shouted from one end of the practice about how to fill out an NHS form and they were embarrassed by this, assured them it didn't happen as had all worked there years and knew how to fill the form out, he stormed out. 10 minutes later he came back to apologise as it was in fact not us but a competitor across the road. (We had stood and watched him in there in between times)
Anothet one involved a locum working over several practices put his initals on orders so we knew it was him, initals MAD. Had a complaint that he was calling the pstient mad.

IrisWildthyme Mon 28-Oct-13 05:00:38

can this thread be moved out of chat so we don't lose it after 90 days?

sashh Mon 28-Oct-13 07:12:57

The private hospital I worked in, and for some reason patients needing pacemakers

I'm an NHS patient, I don't want to be seen in a private hospital.

(even though it is the same cardiologist and local NHS cath lab is being refurbished, which is why the work is being outsourced).

You don't have any parking? But that's what we pay for. (never mind you will not be driving the day you have a pacemaker fitted)

I'm not being admitted if you only have a twin room, I always have my own room. (sorry no single rooms available, and you do NEED a pacemaker)

They put me in a room with a German (that was a written complaint to the hospital)

TootFuckingToot Mon 28-Oct-13 07:16:30


directoroflegacy Mon 28-Oct-13 08:06:47

The new tenant of my mother's flat has just complained that it takes 2 flushes for his poo to go down.
Now I know what he means, someflushes are a bit weak but I don't think I would complain to letting agency and landlord re: this!
He has also complained that he can see scaffolding on opposite building, my dad had to be restrained from saying what did you expect Hanging Gardens of Babylon?!

MrsCaptainJackSparrow Mon 28-Oct-13 10:16:10

I worked in a coffee shop, there have probably been hundreds!

A woman brought back an empty plate saying she wanted a refund on her chocolate velvet cake as it was not velvet cake as the display sign said. She's said velvet cake was red, she enjoyed the cake but wanted a refund. Myself and the other member of staff were shock. She's had queues in a huge Saturday queue with an empty plate for a refund?!

Many, many, many people asking for their cappuccino to be re made without the foam confused.

An irate woman asking for a drink for a competitor coffee shop. I explained that wasn't us that sold it. She told me shed had it before. I told her it wasn't from us. She was adamant. I showed her out selection of syrups and she still didn't believe me. Told me just to make what she wanted!

A woman accused the staff of stealing her car keys. She knew they were in her hand at the till but after that they had dissapered. She was getting very angry. In the end we showed her the CCTV. There were no keys in her hand. Only her purse and her sandwich. Turned out they were in the lock of her car door....

A woman complained it was too cold in the store. She was sat by the door and it was snowing outside. I'm not sure how she expected people to get in and out without using the door.

TraceyTrickster Mon 28-Oct-13 11:04:23

I was moving into a new house, and while I unlocked the front door, the removal guy put a box down on the path with maybe 1 cm over onto the grass next to the path.
Neighbour comes ranting, screaming and swearing about us ruining her grass, and started throwing my stuff around which was being unloaded onto the road.
She did not stop even when I showed her the title deeds which said the grass under discussion was MY property. Apparently the title deeds were WRONG!
Surprisingly we never spoke after that (she was always a cow about everything)

TraceyTrickster Mon 28-Oct-13 11:26:02

A work one:

My husband returned home from work- he was installing some Ikea wardrobes. The wardrobes were 0.5cm taller than the ceiling height.
Client was annoyed that he could not (would not) install because it was only half a centimetre too small a space.

Strumpetron Mon 28-Oct-13 11:29:58

An OT rang up my work and said:

'listen Ive got a client who needs to sleep in his sling because it's better for the carers. The district nurse has said no absolutely not but I know you can so I want you to tell her that he can'.

I replied that no-one should be sleeping all night in a bed in a sling, to which she 1. wanted to complain about my attitude and 2. wanted to complain about the quality of the slings.

Our slings are excellent, but no child should be stuck having to sleep in a sling just because it's easier for the carers. I really thought she'd have known better.

Strumpetron Mon 28-Oct-13 11:38:23

I also used to work in a bike shop.

I'd packed someones wheel, and inside the wheel box put a jiffy with their other items in, I think it was some brake pads.

Got a phonecall 'you haven't included all my items, send the others'

to which I replied 'oh they're in the wheel box, if you open it up you'll see them'.


Blamenargles Mon 28-Oct-13 11:38:48

One had a customer bring back a box if matches it's said "approximately 200 matches". He had counted them and there was only 199 to wanted an exchange. He then got all the matches off the shelf and counted them till he found one with exactly 200 in.
He wanted us to send them all off the the supplier to be recounted and that the person that counted them should be sacked.
We tried to explain that it was a machine and it did say approximately 200 but he wasn't happy

Strumpetron Mon 28-Oct-13 11:39:06

My fella is a customer service manager and every year he gets the 'you have ruined my childs christmas, how dare you not deliver bikes on christmas day'

Doodledumdums Mon 28-Oct-13 11:58:25

A friend of mine used to work on a farm, which was open to the public to come and see and feed all of the animals. She said she used to get complaints from people saying that they should not have pigs, and demanding that she move them somewhere else out of sight of the public. I know that in certain religions, pigs are not tolerated, but if you visit a working farm, would you not expect to see pigs?!

needanewhobby Mon 28-Oct-13 14:29:32

I work in a restaurant/coffee shop, once I was asked if I could not be so loud whilst making coffees (heating milk etc) as she had a shop probably not the best place for someone with a headache!
On another occasion, a lady requested another cappuccino as the one she had been given was cold. I made her another 'extra hot' one (as requested), she called me over as this one was 'too hot she couldn't possibly drink it' (obviously didn't get the memo that hot drinks cool down) so I made her ANOTHER one! And she left half of it!!

CruCru Mon 28-Oct-13 14:55:06

The general public are stupid.

I used to work in a shop selling handmade teddy bears (ugh). I had a man complain that the modern bears had a lump where their genitals would be. Ugh. I was 15 and looking back he may have been a pervert.

Greydog Mon 28-Oct-13 15:40:40

I once spent some time explaining how a bill was worked out, and in the end the woman I was talking to said she'd report me for being patronising! I said that was absolutley her choice, and if she wished to report me because she was unable to understand how things added up then I didn't have a problem with that. She never did. Another time I'd had to break down a bill and got the customer to write it down and add it up themselves. That "Eureka" moment came when they cried out - "now I see it - what a fool I am" and I replied - "what can I say - the customer is always right" There was a guffaw of laughter - and customer came back with "I deserved that! Thanks for your patience". But it's sad reading this thread just how many idiots are out there, and how nasty there are for no reason.

Mattissy Mon 28-Oct-13 15:47:04

As I said I used to work in customer services for a mobile network, I once answered the phone to have a man loudly proclaim "I have my equipment in my hand and I can get get it to work, what are you going to do abou it?" I couldn't speak, I had to put him on hold!

LemonMousse Mon 28-Oct-13 15:59:28

I once had a parent complain that we always sent the text messages from school to her DH's mobile number and not to hers. I explained that the system automatically sends the message to the number noted as 'first contact' on the Data Collection sheet they filled in. I showed her the sheet (which SHE had completed) putting her DH as first contact and said I would amend the system changing her to first contact.

She said 'But surely you would have known DH is often in meetings and can't always use his phone?'

Of course, silly me hmm

onlysettleforbutterflies Mon 28-Oct-13 16:02:35

I worked in a cafe, there was a huge fire in basement so I had to evacuate all the customers quickly, smoke was quickly filling the dining area. One couple were very annoyed they were having to leave before they had finished and demanded to speak to the manager as they weren't going to leave on the say so of just a waitress. To cut a long story they took that long to leave, we all ended up being treated for smoke inhalation.

Aquariusgirl86 Mon 28-Oct-13 16:06:54

From royal correspondent Jennie bond that she wasn't getting special treatment in....... Primark!

Strumpetron Mon 28-Oct-13 16:46:14

We ran a product demonstration day (demoing slings, shower chairs etc) and invite a lot of occupational therapists. We often have guest speakers.

We have feedback forms and one woman said 'good course but why on earth did the guest speaker have high heels and makeup on'


Strumpetron Mon 28-Oct-13 16:47:29

Oh and when I was about 5 I hit the next door neighbours fence with a little plastic spade, the type that come with a bucket.

They rang the police, police came round and were gobsmacked. Ended up giving them a telling off for wasting police time.

Absy Mon 28-Oct-13 16:57:02

First one was when I was working in a store, and they did free gift wrapping (box, tissue paper, ribbon. Pretty standard and the same at every store ). I was wrapping someone's gifts for free and she complained that my gift wrapping wasn't "magical enough" and that she'd go to another branch of the store (the other side of town) because their gift wrapping would be better. I did explain it would be exactly the same but she didn't get it. Oh well ... she was wasting her own time.

Second is - a friend organises a big dinner on Friday night, which is free (but you can donate), you just have to tell them in advance that you're coming so they know how many people to prepare for. One Friday, dozens of people turned up without having given notice, so the food had to be spread out quite thinly. One person (who hadn't booked, or donated), emailed to complain that he hadn't had enough food. RUDE.

Absy Mon 28-Oct-13 17:08:22

also, we had a bunch of really rude customers in in a store I worked in (e.g. they were mucking around for about an hour, then suddenly decided that everything had to be done NOW and their purchases put through STRAIGHT AWAY - they threw money at a colleague and said "that should make you work faster"). A customer I was serving was in the changing room, trying on some clothes. Rude customer demanded that I get my customer out of the changing room, so she could try on some clothes (my customer hadn't been in their long). I politely told rude customer to get lost.

theluckiest Mon 28-Oct-13 17:33:06

I used to work in a well known video rental shop. One evening a very cross bloke brought back a video he claimed was faulty. We checked it on the shop telly....nothing wrong with it.

He was getting very irate and insisted it was faulty and he wanted a refund. When asked what the actual problem was he looked at us as if we were mad. 'Its the's not working properly. It's in black and white. Only old films are in black and white so it must be faulty.'

Yes ladies, it was 'Schindlers List'. I think we have him a refund just for giving us a good laugh. And stupid-person anecdote.

BigOrangePumpkin Mon 28-Oct-13 17:38:23

I work for an insurance company and a few years ago I had a complaint from someone regarding our rules on No Claims Discount not being clear online. He had a very valid point so after a fair few calls with various departments I managed to get the website updated so that everything was x

BigOrangePumpkin Mon 28-Oct-13 17:41:51

Stupid phone!

Completely transparent. All good, made both ours and the customers lives easier. Fast forward about five years, and I dealt with a complaint from someone saying that the website wasn't clear enough with regards to NCD. Because I'd had it updated I knew it was and was always able to direct people to where the info was. During the course of the call I checked the notes on this customers policy and there were notes from me from years before, it was the same bloke! I took great satisfaction in telling him that not only was the

BigOrangePumpkin Mon 28-Oct-13 17:43:43

Third time lucky!

Info there but it was there as a direct result of his complaint years earlier. He denied all knowledge.

Not sure my story was worthy of three posts though, sorry!

Working in woolworths as a teenager I was approached by an absolutely irate man. He was FURIOUS and dragged me over to the pic and mix jabbering and pointing at the container with quality streets in. There were no purple caramel ones left and he was fuming at this. He was that minute going to go home and call trading standards unless I opened a box of quality street and let him pick out the purple ones. I was 16 and therefore just stared at him in a teenagery way as he threatened me with the police for false advertising. Thankfully I was rescued by an older colleague so just backed slowly away and watched from behind the umbrella stand as he reaching a shouting crescendo and then flounced out the store.

I have always thought since that the introduction of boxes filled with just purple quality street some years later must have been like all his Christmases coming at once.

ToriaPumpkin Mon 28-Oct-13 18:22:32

Oh so many. There was the customer who ranted and raved for half an hour then accused my manager of abusing him and being threatening (his wife even called to complain about his treatment. This stopped when said manager said that several customers had said they felt intimidated by the man) our crime? Not being able to get his watch back from the watchmaker any faster. Said watch company is based in Japan.

Then there was the one who knocked me to the floor when I was pregnant as I tried to get through the massive queue to the counter to serve someone and, you know, reduce the queue.

Then the woman who sent us a letter, hand delivered, calling us a bunch of cunty bitches and accusing us of swearing at her (never happened) and insisting she would never come back. Obviously it being an anonymous letter we'll never know if she did!

The one who swore up and down that we hadn't told her earrings are non returnable and when we pointed to the massive sign on the wall stating this and the back of the receipt where it also explained the returns policy, claimed we hadn't given her a receipt and the signs hadn't been there last week.

SeeYouNT Mon 28-Oct-13 18:24:49

working in a betting shop there was a constant stream of idiots

some dickhead shouted at me cos he had placed a bet then lost his money when his horse lost. erm duh thats kind of the risk you take when you place a bet?

he then yelled that i was a "white slag" and threw a load of leaflets in my face, he was a 6 foot man and i was a tiny skinny 18 year old girl

horrible cunt

i walked out not long after that

Snatchoo Mon 28-Oct-13 19:17:18

I work in a bank complaints dept. It really beggars belief some of the complaints we get.

We get a lot of 'how can I feed my child' complaints late on a Friday when all the money in the account has gone to betfred or bingo online.

A few weird ones where the customer wants us to make a transfer from <unrelated bank> to <another unrelated bank> and will not accept that we can't do it!

Was looking at a PPI complaint today for a colleague - was found in favour for the customer, even though he had claimed on his PPI for the entire course of the loan! He owed us money and promptly declined to sign the acceptance of the complaint! grin

I remember working in Accessorize as a teenager and this woman flouncing out of the shop after a refund was declined on a hat. It was covered in make up and ripped - she said it had never been worn!

mythical Mon 28-Oct-13 19:19:29

a customer complained we don't sent a statement every time he makes a transaction on this specific account he has with us and also complaining we send them too many paying in slips when he orders a stationery pack - waste of paper apparently..

SeeYouNT Mon 28-Oct-13 19:21:07

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

BMW6 Mon 28-Oct-13 20:27:32

Worked for HMRC for many years...........

The best I can remember offhand is the guy who ranted at me on the phone for 10 mins effing and blinding.........

He was self employed and needed to make an insurance claim for loss of earnings, can I provide evidence?
Sure, can send letter giving details of all income declared on his Returns for past 6 years.

No good says he, that's not my real income - only what I declared to you lot. I earned shed loads more than that and won't get worthwhile insurance payout on the piddling amounts I declared.

Tell you what, sez I, you can disclose to us retrospectively what you REALLY earned these past six years, pay us the back tax (plus interest & penalties), then I can do you a nice letter with all the correct income for the insurance claim......

10 seconds of complete silence, then he completely lost it grin

SwimmingUpstream Mon 28-Oct-13 20:29:27

I used to work with a girl who complained that she didn't like it when I peeled an orange.

Had always thought it was a lovely smell. Not anti-social at all. I didn't complain about her bag of fast food that she brought back to the office.

When I worked at a charity I once took a call from a lady who wanted us to cancel her direct debit. None of her details were on my database - and she shouted at me for 20 minutes and told me that the charity was shit etc. It turned out that her direct debit was with another charity entirely...

Some doozies from my days in a publishing call centre / marketing dept:

A complaint that there were not enough glasses wearers shown in our materials.

A ranting lady complaining that we were closed on Christmas Day. Bloody unreasonable, apparently.

And my favourite... not a complaint, but a telephone query. We used to sell a book about the menopause by a well-known author. In it, the author had recommended various products for vaginal dryness. The woman was calling on behalf of her mum, who was interested in said products. I was a bit perplexed (having not read the book) and suggested KY-jelly. 'Oh no, my dad's allergic to that.' <boak> I ended up ringing the local Boots for her and calling her back.

Sidge Mon 28-Oct-13 20:34:23

I used to sit on the Quality Assurance committee for the hospital I worked in. Part of our role was to receive and respond to complaints.

My favourites were:

The person who complained their mum had been without her teeth for about 48 hours. We think she had thrown them in a clinical waste bin, and it took the hospital a couple of days to arrange to get her measured and fitted for a new set of dentures. The relative complained that ward staff didn't sift through each and every clinical waste bag before disposal to make sure patients hadn't thrown something away they shouldn't have.

The man visiting his father who, after his father had been discharged, sent us a 14 page A4 letter listing his concerns about his care. It read like this:

Tuesday, 1336 staff nurse sneezed and didn't leave the ward to change their uniform
1355 man in bed opposite made a loud noise
1412 doctor woke my father up to examine him
1500 the ward orderly made me move my chair so she could clean his bedside locker and change his water jug

I now work in a GP surgery and we get some howlers. My recent favourite is the patient who made a formal complaint that she had to travel up to the hospital for her operation, and why could 't the GP do her hernia repair in the surgery.

BMW6 Mon 28-Oct-13 21:04:04


PublicEnemyNumeroUno Mon 28-Oct-13 22:35:47

Laughing out loud at the 14 page A4 complaint letter grin

TootFuckingToot Mon 28-Oct-13 23:03:51


HazleNutt Tue 29-Oct-13 10:48:26

I used to work on a cruise ship. You would not believe how many people would complain about the wind. General complaining about the weather I can understand, but they all expected me to do something about it!

GoofyIsACow Tue 29-Oct-13 11:31:20


Blockette Tue 29-Oct-13 11:40:24

The only one I have had that was funny was when I worked in BUPA on reception. A woman started shouting and screaming because when the Consultant called her name he didn't refer to her as her proper title as 'Lady' and that she comes to BUPA accepting people to know the difference and to be treated with the correct level of respect - but she kept shouting BUPA so all the other staff members down the hall could hear was "grumble grumble BUPA!".

All the time she was shouting and screaming the consultant stayed quiet until she finished, then said "I'm sorry, I can not accept this complaint as you keep aiming it at a "Dr" <consultant name> where as I am "Professor" <consultant name>. I am however medically trained to work on people of any class so let talk about your medical issues shall we?"

She was forever referred to as "Lady BUPA"

Rubyred1 Tue 29-Oct-13 12:09:20


"I want my money back on these glasses, it's a disgrace, whenever I wear them things are just too clear".


I hate people.

ptpan Tue 29-Oct-13 12:16:47

I used to work for The Body Shop,our phone number was unbeleivably one digit out from the local car body shop,think 0207 123 1212 and 0207 123 1221(not the real numbers!)
Every single week I would answer 'good morning TBS Londontown' and get a man asking for car repair quotes etc,I would politely explain that no this wasn't the car body shop but The Body Shop,yes they know that,how much is an exhaust pipe that kind of thing,I would explain no we sell makeup etc.
And yes I know the number is almost identical,no I didn't choose to do that myself.yes I know it's stupid (highly edited)

ptpan Tue 29-Oct-13 12:18:37

I may have offered to book a couple of idiots in for makeovers after their choice words to me

TigerTrumpet Tue 29-Oct-13 12:19:42

I worked on a supermarket customer service desk as a student. A woman brought in a fizzing/fermenting tin of cat food, thrust it into my face and proclaimed 'it's alive!'

cocoleBOO Tue 29-Oct-13 13:10:35

I've asked for this to go in Classics, I'm loving it!

As a student nurse. A patient who was told his broken leg would be operated on once the swelling had gone down, wanted to know if he could have it done sooner because he was in Bupa.

In Greece. Overheard an English customer complain that her moussaka had aubergine in. She explained to the very puzzled waiter that it is made with potatoes in England.

GhostsInSnow Tue 29-Oct-13 13:55:10

I had a man shout at me and tell me the store I worked in was completely useless and what kind of shop doesn't sell chicken wire?! Erm, a TOY shop maybe?

DS works part time in a call centre for a mobile phone company, one of his favourites is the woman who wanted to return her touch screen phone because she'd had her nails done and she was struggling to use it with long acrylic nails. grin

Wibblytummy Tue 29-Oct-13 14:01:21

I used to work in Ann Summers. So many wonderful (hilarious) complaints and memories. The most bonkers complaint was a woman who wanted to return her old rabbit back because her DP had bought her a new one for Christmas. The old one was 1 year old and very much used. She was fuming that we would not return the old one for credit even. She brought the ruddy thing in with her, put it out on the counter and told us we could inspect it and see it was "like new condition" confused

killpeppa Tue 29-Oct-13 14:08:45

blockette you have just moved to my favourite...

DumSpiroSpero Tue 29-Oct-13 14:13:52

Had a call from a customer last week wanting to speak to the manager/assistant manager - neither were available and customer declined to leave name or message saying they would call back.

It was clear, however, that they were massively disgruntled about something, so in the interests of damage limitation I made a note of the number on caller display and cross checked it with our files so manager could call them back and sort the problem asap.

They then complained about my finding out who they were (I work in the office and legitimately have full access to customer files) and the manager calling them back confused.

OnIlkelyMoorBahtat Tue 29-Oct-13 14:16:40

"All the time she was shouting and screaming the consultant stayed quiet until she finished, then said "I'm sorry, I can not accept this complaint as you keep aiming it at a "Dr" <consultant name> where as I am "Professor" <consultant name>. I am however medically trained to work on people of any class so let talk about your medical issues shall we?" "

Blockette that is fantastic... I lhope the consultant does a wee airpunch to themselves whenever they remember this!

ChairmanWow Tue 29-Oct-13 14:48:12

My fave two were:

1. Working as a therapy assistant in a day centre. One staff member was absolutely bone idle. I needed to get a service user out of his wheelchair and said, 'While you're not busy could you just give me a hand?'. She reported me to my manager who took me into his office, told me about her complaint, smiled and said 'Well done. Keep up the good work'

2. Part of my job is to deliver training and at the end of each course participants fill out feedback forms. There have been some odd ones, but the best one was 'The facilitator is too young [I was 36, but thanks for the compliment!] Also I didn't like the sandwiches. Next time please send someone out to the chippy''. No comment about the quality of the training of course, naturally.

loobywoof Tue 29-Oct-13 14:51:36


Someone once complained about her prescription medications not being arranged nicely in the bag. She wanted every one of 25+ items the same way up etc etc etc....Long list of requirements.
Only just stopped myself from telling her that 'bag packing' was not included in my 5 yr degree as, luckily for her, we spent the time gaining knowledge in more pressing aspects of pharmaceutical care.
Felt like I should have done some work experience at the local supermarket.

ZombiesAteMyCunnyFunt Tue 29-Oct-13 14:52:36

Place marking thlgrin these are brilliant!

PrincessKitKat Tue 29-Oct-13 15:26:35

One summer many, many moons ago I worked in the admin office of a kids camp in Massechussetts.

A parent called with some enquiry or another and insisted in her best loud voice that she 'COULD NOT UNDERSTAND me', and 'MUST TALK to someone who SPEAKS ENGLISH'.

I'm from Staffordshire hmm

I worked a summer in a housing office during a summer vacation from Uni, and had to archive loads of old housing files, it was lonely work but so funny, I loved nosing through all the old complaint letters, there was one from the early sixties, and a lady had written in to complain about her neighbours dirty net curtains 'bringing the entire street into disrepute' grin

CharlieAlphaKiloEcho Tue 29-Oct-13 16:09:56

Someone complained that the creamy tomato soup was creamy. She just assumed it wouldn't be obviously creamy and she didn't like creamy stuff.

Someone also complained that the cheeseburger had real cheese in it not the fake cheese you normally got.

Somebody also seemed annoyed that we were busy with a fair few kids in. He wanted a peaceful cuppa which is fair enough I suppose until you take into account that we are inside a childrens centre hmm

cocoleBOO Tue 29-Oct-13 17:31:38

Look! Classics! I'm so proud of you al grin

cocoleBOO Tue 29-Oct-13 17:32:16

All not al blush

HeirToTheIronThrone Tue 29-Oct-13 17:40:50

I was a rep for a ski company for two seasons. A couple of stand-outs:

A lady fell and injured her leg on her first day skiing. She asked for a refund on her lift pass. I explained that I couldn't do that as they were bought from the lift pass office, she had to go to them. The office told her she had to claim on her insurance. Only, she didn't have any. A guy staying in the same chalet - who hadn't met her before the trip - SCREAMED in my face for any hour that I had to refund her, that we should have told her she needed insurance (she had opted out at booking!), that he was VERY IMPORTANT and in THE MEDIA and would get me and my team fired IMMEDIATELY. He didn't...

But my favourite was the man who wrote on his feedback form that the toilet seat was too cold in the mornings grin

bdbfan Tue 29-Oct-13 17:41:55

My first thread in classics smilesmile

fuzzpig Tue 29-Oct-13 17:51:04

Only read first 6 pages so far but ROAR at the phallic carrot and the HOT NUTS grin

Once had a customer come to the library counter to collect some books he had requested (which are actually in a public area so customers can pick them up themselves, but oh well). Colleague went to fetch them. They were the wrong books - I stepped in when I saw him getting arsey and realised by checking the system that they were for a different borrower with the same surname (huge library so loads of requested books), but the customer had already launched into a rant that as the books were about the Troubles in Ireland we were obviously out to get him and accusing him of terrorism?!

Incidentally I used that anecdote in a subsequent interview for a permanent position, they found it quite funny and I like to think it helped get me the job grin

PosyNarker Tue 29-Oct-13 19:25:08

I worked in a super-cheap, well known shoe chain when I was a teen. It was next door to a pub hmm. Got a few from in there. These should be read in a broad west coast of Scotland accent.

Customer picks up pair of blue court shoes next to erm, beige ones. This is the abbreviated version...

Customer: Huv ye got these in beej?
PN: Yes, brings over beige shoe. Can I get you a size?
Customer: Naw, ah want the beej wans.
PN: confused These are the beige ones.
Customer: That's no a right beej. Ah want a right beej.
PN: Sorry, they are the only beige ones we've got.
Customer: Manager, manager (yells). This wee lassie's making a fool out of me. Tell her to get me some right shoes.
Manager: What's the problem? PN, can't you get the lady the other shoe?
PN: confusedhmm Erm...
Customer: Bugger this. C'mon hen (to clearly mortified daughter).

This was a cheap shoe shop, not Christian bloody Louboutin. We didn't even call them 'nude' much less have several shades thereof...

Another Saturday:

Drunk woman staggers in the middle of winter wearing pair of utterly trashed high heeled sandals, funnily enough in beige. Starts slurring.

Drunk: 'Yiz need to gee me the money back for my shoes I bought last week. They don't fit'
Manager: Okay, where are the shoes. As long as they've not been worn this shouldn't be a problem.
Drunk: Can you no see them, I'm wearing them.
Manager: There's extensive wear on these. I'm afraid we can't refund them and you couldn't have bought them last week, they're last seasons.
Drunk: I'm getting the polis if you don't taken these off me & give me my money back.
Manager: But even if we could, you'd have no shoes on and it's raining confused

Last one:

Arsehole customer yelling: Haw, <shopname>, <shopname>
PN: Serving another customer, blissfully unaware
ACY: <shopname>, <shopname>, gonnae get us yon shoes <shopname>
PN: Figures out customer is not bonkers, but actually thinks this is how one summons a shop assistant Can I get you anything at all?
ACY: Naw you're alright. The service in here's pish and am no coming back.

...a couple of hours later...

ACY: <shopname>, <shopname>

LegoCaltrops Tue 29-Oct-13 19:45:43

Next door neighbour comes round to see me a couple of years ago.

Her: You've put flies in my bin!
Me: Wh...!? confused
Her: Your compost bin <newly installed> has flies. Now my bin has flies too, its your fault, come & take them away please.
Me: Erm... I don't think flies would go into your bin just because I've got a compost bin. My dustbin doesn't have any flies.
Her: I'll call the council & report you if you don't do something about it.
Me: Ok. But, I'm pretty sure the council support the use of compost bins, they sold it to me.

She steams off into her house in a huff. Makes a couple of of snide comments about it but she essentially dropped it. I saw her emptying her kitchen bin last week, she decanted the contents directly into the dustbin. Penny drops...

WaoFruityBananaCake Tue 29-Oct-13 20:04:06

This isn't one that I personally received but I witnessed it. Went to see a well known comedian, about halfway through a voice from the audience pipes up "can you stop swearing please?" comedian asks her to repeat herself, she says "stop swearing, my daughter is 11 and it's not suitable for her ears!". Now this comedian isn't famed for swearing but it's not a kids show ffs! He dealt with it very well, and IIRC the woman and her daughter left eventually.

poorbuthappy Tue 29-Oct-13 20:35:32

Doing credit control I rang a customer and asked him when he was going to pay his bill. He told me he would pay £10 (not real figures add lots of noughts) I said thank you that's great but could he pay £15 (add lots of noughts again) because that's what he actually owed.
He slammed the phone down and told everyone he knew how rude I was!! I still get told this story by people in the industry and I always smile. Cos he's an idiot, and I'm not. grin

Doodledumdums Tue 29-Oct-13 23:21:34

When I worked for the council, we had a lady ringing up about cat poo in her garden...conversation went along the lines of...

Cat lady: I am ringing to complain about cat poo in my garden, can you send someone to get rid of it as soon as possible.
My colleague: Um...unfortunately we aren't able to come and remove cat poo.
Cat lady: But i'm a council tenant, you are the council?
MC: Yes, but removing cat poo isn't a service that we are able to provide.
CL: So what am I supposed to do about it? I can't even use my own garden!
MC: Well I suppose you could speak to the owner of the cat about it, do you know who the cat belongs to?
CL: Yes, me. It is my cat.

I think at that point my colleague burst out laughing! He said the woman was deadly serious and was genuinely angry that we wouldn't send someone round to clear up after her cat!

DaleyBump Wed 30-Oct-13 00:36:05

I'm a student nurse. I was once chatting to a patient when he said to me, out of the blue, "so, are you Chinese then?" I'm not, and I said so. He replied "are you sure?!" I smiled at him and said "I'm totally sure" and he complained to the ward sister! I have no idea why he thought I was Chinese but he was genuinely upset that I wasn't!

CheeseandPickledOnion Wed 30-Oct-13 14:25:46

oinktopus You complained because IT didn't fix a kettle? They're IT, not electrical repairs?!!!

oinktopus Wed 30-Oct-13 15:13:04

Cheese Hehe! No, the other way around! I was saying how someone asked them to fix the kettle. I found it strange too.

Altinkum Wed 30-Oct-13 20:42:39

Today, a little boy in the restaurant started properly squealing, blood pouring from his mouth, he'd been swinging on his chair and the fork went into the roof of his mouth, hmm but by word was he distraught, so ran over with a tissue and tried to reassure him... Apparently I as the supervisor should have known he was swinging on his chair and she was going to "sue us" hmm when I said I'm not responsible for him and as his mother who is sitting next to him, maybe she should take responsibility considering I had over 100 in my restaurant, she asked to speak to the manager, who said he was sorry but as a busy restaurant we couldn't possibly take responsibility for irresponsible parenting, she stormed out shouting "I'm sueing you" hmm

edam Wed 30-Oct-13 21:23:55

ouch, altkin, that poor little boy. But what an unreasonable mother! Should have been more worried about her son that claiming compo. How on earth she thought it was your fault, rather than hers, I do not know.

DownstairsMixUp Sun 03-Nov-13 11:42:23

Working at a busy railway station, huge delays as a tree fell on the track down the line, naturally, I work at the busy end when people are trying to get home from work this happens, big queue of disgruntled customers at the ticket office.

Customer: "Well what are you going to do about it?!"
Me: "Uhm, well, NR are currently down there attempting to resolve the situation, until then you can also go to nearest station that runs to similar places and get the bus from there with your train ticket*"
Customer: "WHAT?! That is ridiculous. You should be out there doing it yourself!"
Me: 19years old about 8 stone, what does he want me to do, move the tree myself ?!hmm Sorry sir thats all i can advise at the moment, I can give you a map also to walk to the station that is still up and running (which was like five mins walk)
HE still went off ranting and raving about how i wasn't doing enough! :S

LittleAprilShowers Wed 06-Nov-13 06:17:26

I used to work as a waitress in my student days and once a lady ordered a Thai Green curry. She went ballistic because it didn't taste like chicken tikka massala like she expected. I explained that was an Indian curry and Thai is different, as explained in the menu. Apparently it shouldn't be called a curry if it doesn't taste like its from an Indian takeaway :/

SpecialAgentFreyPie Sun 10-Nov-13 11:39:39

Once at the zoo with DC (mixed race) I was told that my hair was racist. confused Apparently braids are only for black people and I was mocking my DC... hmm

phdlife Sun 10-Nov-13 11:45:48

I was working in a university. First week in December (ie, right at end of first term), some guy phoned up demanding to start immediately. He'd been sent to the uk to study but had never applied to any university, his father was coming to visit, he had to be in a course by monday. He refused to accept that there was an application procedure, deadlines, fixed term times, etc - accused me of being racist for not letting him in. (Like it was up to the receptionist...)

phdlife Sun 10-Nov-13 11:48:22

Ha, I also once hd a woman taking free sugar sachets, but only the ones from company A, as company B's sugar "just wasn't as sweet". Because they were new. My explanations that (a) Company B just had new packaging but had actually been producing sugar 30 years, and (b) sugar is a pure chemical substance, fell on deaf ears. She took fistfuls of the things.

YoniGetAnOohWithTyphoo Sun 10-Nov-13 19:19:57

Saturday job: got shouted at and told I was a 'stupid, slow little girl' because I apparently hadn't ordered a product in that a customer ordered. Clearly, very amiss of me. Only problem is, I worked at Boots and the product he had apparently definitely ordered from me was a Superdrug's own brand...

Had to provide a calculator to a customer because he was convinced that the till wasn't adding properly.

Got screamed at for 10 minutes because I wouldn't honour the '500 advantage card points when you spend £25 or more on baby products'. The guy had bought a coffee maker.

Yep, it's true you never really hate people until you've worked in retail.

JammieCodger Mon 11-Nov-13 09:44:39

DumSpiroSpero, I wouldn't complain because I'm far too British, but I think I'd be a bit annoyed if I'd decliend to leave a name and number because I didn't want to be called back, only to be called back anyway. There could have been any number of reasons why he/she didn't want to be rung.

Livinginlimbo2 Mon 11-Nov-13 10:42:17

I used to work at a garden centre/hardware store.
One day an elderly gentleman, who was obviously very stressed, placed a large cardboard box on the counter. He lifted the lid to show me the contents; and asked ,"Could you recommend a tonic or something for this poor little fella?"
It contained a dead ( stiff) squirrel and a roasted chicken leg!

themidwife Mon 11-Nov-13 23:21:43

I once had a complaint from a woman that I "wasn't excited enough about her pregnancy". She wrote to the head of midwifery & I was sent on a customer service course. To learn how to say congratulations more "excitedly"!!

Another time I was taking a blood sample from a baby & the father stopped me & said "You're not doing that right." I asked him what his job was - a taxi driver. Errrrr??!!! confused

JessFox Mon 11-Nov-13 23:24:15

I had an older lady at work the other week get very upset because there was only one pool cue for her grandchildren to use and she demanded a refund. She just could not grasp the concept that pool can be played with just one cue. Not until my manager had to speak to her did she accept this.

A couple of years ago I worked in a Mediterranean Tapas bar, where I mixed cocktails. A customer asked for a Pina Colada (a frozen drink) with no ice. When I explained that the whole point of the Colada was that it was frozen she remarked that she was allergic to the water from the ice, she was also allergic to the bubbles in carbonated drinks?

neonLadybird Fri 29-Nov-13 20:20:54

I work in property management and we get lots of odd ones, two that come to mind are
1. The woman who complained about the smell of cooking from the restaurant below, erm well don't buy a flat above a restaurant love!
2. Someone phoned in the summer to complain about insects getting in through the open window. Ok so shall we kill all the insects in the world then? confused or you could close the window?

AmberSweet Sat 30-Nov-13 23:10:09

Compared to some of the ones of here this is nothing major but still gave me a bit of a confused face.

I work in retail (well known cheap department store) in the children's department. The other day a man came up to me and say this...

Customer:Excuse me where are the socks?
Me:Boys or girls?
Customer:No for me!
Me:Oh right sorry, just over there in the far Corner etc etc
Customer:Well that's a bloody stupid place to put them!

And he storms off. The thing is he wanted men's socks and I pointed him to direction of desired socks IN THE MENS SECTION! What was stupid about that? blush

Bearleigh Fri 06-Dec-13 13:56:33

I know someone who was in a traffic jam, queuing to get into a venue. The car ahead of him peeled off, so he assumed its driver knew a short cut, and followed it down little side roads... until it pulled into what was obviously its drive. He then started complang about its driver leading him up the garden path.

LadyFlumpalot Fri 06-Dec-13 14:25:37

I used to work for a gardening supplies company and the two best I can remember are:

A man writing in to complain that we sold squirrel food with a picture of a grey squirrel on it. According to him our company was singlehandedly responsible for the decline of the red squirrel. He finished saying that he hoped the company went bust and that we all ended up on the streets.

A very distraught chap phoned in to complain that our (essential oil based) greenfly killer had killed his weed. Yes, that's right. He had put an oil based substance on cannabis plants under heat lamps and was calling us to complain that his stash had been ruined...

OLittleTownOfBarflehem Fri 06-Dec-13 14:28:46

When I was a restaurant manager we had a whole Brixham Plaice on the menu

FOUR people complained that the head and bones were still in/on.

I had to smile sweetly and remove it for them.

LadyFlumpalot Fri 06-Dec-13 15:09:31

Oooo just remembered this one from my very first job:

I worked in a prison as a pinphone operator. A pinphone is a system where each prisoner is given a phone account with a pincode. They submit a list of people they want to call to the operator who updates and monitors the accounts. The list asks for a name, an address and the relationship to the prisoner. They buy credit from the canteen.

One day the switchboard lady put a call through to me from a furious girlfriend. She was cross because she sent her partner £10 each week for him to buy credit with. According to her we must have been stealing it because he never had enough to call her. She demanded an explanation.

He had been buying his £10 a week credit but had been using it all up calling the number marked as "wife" on his friends list!

CalamitouslyWrong Fri 06-Dec-13 15:22:04

Not a complaint aimed at me, but still awful.

My sister (who is a complete pain in the arse) ordered a pepperoni pizza in pizza express and then kicked up an almighty fuss when it arrived because she doesn't eat pork for religious reasons. She knows what pepperoni is; she's just an arsehole.

I wanted to apologise to the waiter and explain that everyone else on the table knew she was in the wrong, but that would have just made her more unreasonable and embarrassing. We left a big tip.

heronsfly Fri 06-Dec-13 15:36:48

I work at a pool. We are very family friendly,mixed changing rooms, family areas etc.
I once had a complaint from a very irate lady because she couldn't take her husband into the ladies showers, apparently it was discrimination because another lady had her son in there, the child must have been 2 at the most.

OnTheRunAndUpTheDuff Fri 06-Dec-13 19:05:13

Someone once called me to complain about the name of the organisation I worked for. Apparently it was a stupid name and she didn't know why we'd chosen it because she didn't know what it meant.

Then she demanded to know why the company had that name and hung up.

It was my second week there, I was exceedingly junior, and the company name predated me by about two years.

Stonehaven Mon 09-Dec-13 15:10:36

I work in a well known card shop (no, not that one, the other one). I had a customer a few weeks ago who wanted sone helium balloons blown up. So I blew them up. She wanted a refund because they were "too round" so another member of staff blew up another packet exactly the same and she was pleased as punch with them and complained about me on her way out.

A man came in a couple of days ago to ask where the humerous cards were. This was our exchange:
Me "christmas or birthday?"
Him "I just want to know where the funny cards are"
Me "yes but would you like christmas or birthday?"
Him (getting irate) "WHERE ARE THE HUMEROUS CARDS?"
ME "at the back on the left"
Him "are you sure?"
Me facepalm

People are always asking me "do you have any more of these in the back?" When I tell them we don't, they get all huffy and insist I ask another member of staff as I clearly have no idea. Drives me mad!

imposter1984 Sat 14-Dec-13 17:04:52

I work for a customer service line in a call centre.

I had a guy phone up because he shared a device with his girlfriend and needed to wipe the browser history. He had wiped the device on his device but not on his browser from a company we shall call ooggle. He wanted to know why I couldn't do this. I wanted to know why he needed the browser history deleted ;)

Another woman wanted to order in the UK store and get it delivered to Germany, as opposed to ordering in the German store. All because it was cheaper.

Another woman made a complaint because she was reading the prices wrong (the price BEFORE vat) and I was confusing her by telling her the right price. I was also putting a sale through and halfway through reading out her card number she screeched "NO THAT'S NOT IT, IT IS...." and then proceeded to ask me why I had gotten her card number wrong. I explained I was reading it extra slowly so she could be understood.

Today I had a man who had a discount promo code. He wanted to purchase a product that I knew was disqualified for the code he had. He read out "can not be used to buy... (the product he wanted to buy) and then couldn't understand why it wouldn't work. He read it out to me FOUR times and hung up in a huff.

ots Wed 01-Jan-14 22:37:21

I was in Boots once choosing some shampoo, which was near the till. A man asked me where the toothpaste was, and I politely told him I didn't know!

He then stormed up to the till and told them that it was terrible that a member of staff didn't know their way around the shop and should be better trained. The till lady looked over at me and told the man that I didn't work there. He left with a red face grin

alwaysworryingmum Fri 10-Jan-14 18:08:48

This thread has cheered me up on a bad day.

Not work related but living with a serial complainer was hell.

Complaints from a former housemate.

'you turn off your light switch too loudly' - wtf?

'the toilets blocked again - is someone going to deal with it?' -she's the only one been there all weekend - we all know she blocked it again....

'why have you moved the furniture back - I don't like it like that' -we all use the front door, she parks her car in the garage and enters via the garage door. She's moved the sofa in front of the front door (which everyone else uses) so we can't get in...

Male housemate has winter vomiting sickness and she moans that he's vomiting too loudly and asks him to be quieter?!

Storms into the kitchen of a shared house with 3-4 other residents - 'someone is using the washing machine and I need to use it NOW' - then the washing machine door gets mysteriously broken and needs fixing.

It was every conversation I ever had with her. She moaned about everything and was forever making complaints on her mobile etc. She had the most miserable look on her face and was really hard to live with.

We had a huge goodbye party the day after she moved out. She wasn't invited.

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