Awkward questions you've always wanted to ask someone who works in a specific job...

(1002 Posts)
PinocchiosLeftNostril Tue 08-Oct-13 12:32:57


I thought this would be a good way for us to get answers to those awkward questions we would never dream of asking someone to their face in their place of work.

These are questions relating to my life that i would love honest answers to.

Hairdressers - When someone with bad dandruff/psoriasis sits on your chair, do you shrug it off, or do you quickly have a look to make sure it's not lice? Are you able to tell the difference right away or does it need investigating? And do you really want to know what my plans are for the day, or would you rather work in silence?

Teachers - do you get annoyed when parents write in homework diaries that a specific piece of homework was too tricky for their child? Do you take it as an insult to your teaching skills?

Waiter/waitresses - do you expect people to offer to clean up their children's mess before they leave, or do you just shrug it off as part of the job? If you're busy and haven't had chance to clean a table yet, and a new customer came up and asked for a cloth to clean it, would you be offended?

I'm a trainee SLT so not quite sure if I'm qualified to answer any questions regarding that line of work yet.

But i have experience working in a Subway sandwich store, a library, a gym and as a cleaner. So i can answer any cleaning, book or sandwich questions that are burning away inside you all. smile

gindrinker Tue 08-Oct-13 12:40:12

OK - midwife questions
How much does size(height) of parents affect birth weight?
Is bump size relative to size of baby?
How can you judge age of babies at 12weeks if babies are all born at different weights? Is it to with the number of cell divisions up to this point?

bdbfan Tue 08-Oct-13 12:43:27

I run a coffee shop so can answer your question about tidying up after children.

It's nice if parents make an effort to tidy a bit, stack plates etc and apologise if its really messy. Wouldn't be offended if someone asked for a cloth if i hadn't had time to clear a table, but I would stop what I was going and clear/wipe table myself straight away.

Wallison Tue 08-Oct-13 12:43:50

Excellent idea for a thread.

People who work in bookshops - do you JUDGE?

bdbfan Tue 08-Oct-13 12:45:18

I'd like to ask teachers, do you compare siblings? And do you judge parents who do? Just wondering as dd1 is laid back, very hardworking and compliant, dd2 erm...isn't wink

foreverchanging Tue 08-Oct-13 12:46:32

Front line health/care professionals, do you ever gag or heave when faced with sick or poo?

cantthinkofagoodone Tue 08-Oct-13 12:50:26

Gynaecologists - how do you cope if a lady has a smelly ladypart? Do they look ruined after childbirth?

I'm not a waitress but it really annoys me when people don't tidy up after their kids mess.

ubik Tue 08-Oct-13 12:51:48

I wurl frontline NHS but on

InsertBoringName Tue 08-Oct-13 12:52:19

Forever I can answer yours. I'm a SAHM now but was a nurse, have dealt with many a poo and vomit! Poo and wee doesn't bother me in the slightest. Vomit, I'm not over keen on grin but generally can deal with it without letting my patient know. It was a bit of a challenge when I was pregnant first time round, I was a bit more sensitive to vomit. I remember having one patient in particular had an almighty vomit right onto me and I was >< this close to vomiting right back on them! blush

I'm a primary teacher. Definately wouldn't be offended by 'homework is too tricky'- all feed back is helpful. I don't generally have preconceptions about a younger sibling, experience has taught me just how different they can be!

Any dentists... Do you judge?i always feel terribly self conscious about my less than perfect smile.

Paramedics/nurses- where do you think drunk people who cannot look after themselves should end up, A&E?

InsertBoringName Tue 08-Oct-13 12:55:00

Oh, and just in case anyone asks, we see many many vaginas and penisis (peni??) We really don't care. Really really, they hardly register, never be embarrassed to be naked in front of your doctor/nurse.

ubik Tue 08-Oct-13 12:55:30

The phones and occasionally have to listen to someone vomiting in stereo or chat to someone having diarrhoea on the loo. Frankly I'm glad, as it's proof they are indeed conscious and breathing. I am also thankful I at the end if a telephone and don't have to experience it in RL. I don't know how nurses do it!

OohDoctorDarcy Tue 08-Oct-13 12:56:27

From a care worker pov I really struggled with vomit. Poo & wee not so much.

I compare siblings, yes, but only as a point of interest. I quite enjoy it when they're vastly different. In summary, I compare, but I don't judge and I would never think less of one/more of the other.

Don't know about booksellers, but as a librarian I was too busy to judge, yet friends confessed they saw me, went back and borrowed a highbrow book, just in case. Judged once - I was in the workroom, processing requests. It was quiet and one of the books I had to issue to a name I recognised (I'd taught her son, in my previous career). Had quick flick through book and there were aubergines going up arses. On that one occasion, I judged!

TonyThePony Tue 08-Oct-13 12:57:14

Forever, the only bodily fluid that even slightly bothers me is thick, sticky, stringy sputum but I can still eat my dinner after dealing with it grin

Music teachers, can you absolutely tell how much practise has/hasn't been done?

Bearfrills Tue 08-Oct-13 12:57:55

People who cook for a living - do you take it personally if someone doesn't like their meal? And do fussy eaters piss you off? We once went for lunch with a relative who asked for the BBQ chickens and chips with no BBQ sauce, no cheese, no bacon and no chips confused

Adikia Tue 08-Oct-13 12:58:18

i was a waitress, it is nice if parents make an effort but not expeced.
If they have young children who have dropped half chewed food on the floor/table, putting the food back on the plate so i don't have to touch it is better than leaving me a big card saying I love you! Im not bothered by clearing the rest of it up though.

And no I've never been offended by people asking for a cloth if i'd not cleared a table but did use to get a woman in quite often who would bring her own wipes because she felt we didnt clean properly which used to wind me up.

People who work in supermarkets - are you all genunely that nice that you smile and joke with my tantruming child and be all nice and sympathetic to me because you genuinely feel my pain or are you secretly getting as wound up by the screaming as i am?

redexpat Tue 08-Oct-13 12:58:24

Not quite a question but as I was removing my pajamas for the MW to look at my piles I muttered something about not understanding the appeal of their job. She smiled broadly and assured me that my piles were absolutely fascinating.

LostInWales Tue 08-Oct-13 12:58:31

Ultrasound for 12 weekers, they grow very uniformly at first, or at least the most uniformly to that point, after that it becomes harder and harder to get the measurements too as they grow too big to do crown rump length. I think, it's been a long time!

Adikia, mostly I sympathise with you and chat to your child because sometimes a stranger can stop a tantrum midway just from surprise - it works on my 2, so I give it a go with customers kids and it gives everyone relief from the shouting. No one likes hearing a tantrumming child, but I absolutely am glad it's not mine.
I only judge the parents who swear at their kids - sadly, have heard a lot of nasty things said to children. sad

BlackeyedSusan Tue 08-Oct-13 13:07:23

as a primary teacher I wanted to ask how come parents did not have the time to read with their children in the evenings. I now know and am pissing off primary teachers in return by not reading ds's school book in the evening. (note the use of school, I do sneak in alternative reading in a different format and do his ot/salt and dd's ot and physio and homework and spellings)

PeterParkerSays Tue 08-Oct-13 13:11:30

I'm not a music teacher but they can tell how much practice has been done. DSis is learning to play the guitar as an adult and has private 1:1 lessons. Her teacher commented on how it's refreshing that she always practises because the teacher gets so many teenagers who say they practise but obviously don't.

stargirl1701 Tue 08-Oct-13 13:13:20

Teacher here.

No, the homework was too tricky is really good info. I think your child is able to do this at home without me. I need to know if that isn't the case.

Yes, I compare siblings but only out of interest. They are usually very different people. It fascinating on a societal/anthropological basis. Epigenics at work!

Dentists - how do you cope with grotty teeth?

50shadesofknackered Tue 08-Oct-13 13:14:36

I'm a nurse and honestly poo, wee and vomit don't bother me. However, I do struggle with phlegm! Mind you, as the above poster said, I can still eat my dinner after dealing with it grin

foreverchanging Tue 08-Oct-13 13:17:51

50shades (and previous posters!) My friend (front line NHS) says the same. She's OK with poo/wee/sick but phlegm she can't cope with!

Oceansurf Tue 08-Oct-13 13:20:41

Teacher here. No, I don't compare siblings. Just interesting when they are so different. Re. Homework diaries - I would definitely rather know. Don't take it as an insult at all. I do however get a little hmm when it's a parent who is a teacher who writes that they couldn't do the homework grin

I'd like to ask hairdressers - do you get offended when people don't tip?

Oceansurf Tue 08-Oct-13 13:22:30

(as in the teacher/parent found the homework hard! grin Not the child!)

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Tue 08-Oct-13 13:27:47

Male gynaecologists - why did you choose that specialism?

TheHeadlessLadyofCannock Tue 08-Oct-13 13:28:50

Oh, GREAT thread idea!

I'd also like to ask hairdressers what you think about tipping. Should I? How much? Is it OK if I sometimes forget to make sure I have change and so can't tip, as long as I explain apologetically?

People who work in the service industry generally (shops, hair). If someone becomes enough of a regular that you greet each other in a friendly manner and with the odd bit of small talk, should you ask each other's names? How and when? Does it get to a point when it'd be weird to ask so it's better to go on not knowing?

GPs, do you prefer it if a patient takes a lively interest in what you're saying and asks some questions/for clarification? Or do you prefer to say your bit and the patient to leave quietly?

hellsbells76 Tue 08-Oct-13 13:29:09

Midwife here smile

*How much does size(height) of parents affect birth weight?
Is bump size relative to size of baby?* - can do, but I've seen tiny women push out enormous babies and tall/broad women have dinky ones. Where there's a big disparity between mum/dad size (eg much bigger dad), the babies are usually average and then grow quickly once they're out - generally (diabetes etc aside) we don't tend to grow babies too big to give birth to.
How can you judge age of babies at 12weeks if babies are all born at different weights? Is it to with the number of cell divisions up to this point? - embryos are very uniform in size up to around 12 weeks so early dating scans are pretty accurate (to within a few days)

Wee/poo/vomit/blood/mec/liquor - massively unbothered.

steppemum Tue 08-Oct-13 13:29:30

oceansurf - I am/was a teacher, and occasionally I write the homework was too hard, because the child can't do it. But I would probably teach them and then write that I had to give them a lot of help.

We have had the odd homework where i hadn't a clue what the teacher wanted.

AndThatsWhatIThinkOfYou Tue 08-Oct-13 13:30:09

hairdresser here... yes can tell headlice straight away I have never personally come across them but a coworker has, we just have a quiet word and advise to go the the pharmacy as we cannot continue.

and yes I like to know about your day! working in silence is quite awkward, unless your concentrating alot!

hellsbells76 Tue 08-Oct-13 13:31:11

Sorry, bolding fail and I missed a question too. Bump size doesn't really tell us a lot about eventual size of baby - factors such as position, amount of liquor, mum's build etc can cause a massive bump to conceal a tiny baby or a teensy malteser-sized bump to produce a whopper!

RetroHippy Tue 08-Oct-13 13:32:31

As an ex waitress, I did get a bit envy when I had to pick chewed up food out of the back of the chair and off the carpet. Nice neat pile on a plate would genuinely make my day.

And no problem at all with someone borrowing a cloth if we were genuinely rushed off our feet and there wereno clean tables (just a bit blush). If the place was empty though, and you choose to sit at the one table that someone has just vacated and I haven't had chance to clear, then yes, I got the rage.

Anyone who works on a checkout; do you make up stories about people based on the contents of their trolley? Cucumber, double cream, condoms, jelly, ibuprofen... Someone's in for an interesting night.

AndThatsWhatIThinkOfYou Tue 08-Oct-13 13:32:53

tips are just a bonus and a nice gesture, I have clients who don't tip throughout the year bit wait til Xmas and give £30. I don't expect tips and would not judge if someone didn't tip.

TinyTear Tue 08-Oct-13 13:36:11

Former bookshop worker - yes I did judge (a bit) but mostly I liked making up interesting stories about some of the regulars... like the man who always ordered books about serial killers and cannibals...

TheHeadlessLadyofCannock Tue 08-Oct-13 13:37:32

That's nice to hear about the tips, AndThats. I think I will continue to tip my stylist because she always does a great job and I like her, but it's good to think that perhaps when I can't tip her and she says 'Don't worry', she means it smile.

I'm afraid I am quiet in the hairdressers. I'm no good at small talk. If they ask me questions I'll answer, but tend to let the conversation peter out as I find it rather hard.

ColdTeaAgain Tue 08-Oct-13 13:42:36

Not a waitress but I do think it's a bit selfish to make no attempt to tidy up a little if your child has made a huge mess in a restaurant!

Checkout assistants - do you judge people by what's in their trolley? wink

TinyTear Tue 08-Oct-13 13:43:49

I don't like talking in hairdressers as I am a bit deaf and without my glasses I feel a bit lost (and then with the noises of hairdryers and so on it's a bit hard to follow a conversation.) so I think I am hairdressers worst nightmare (but no I don't have lice)

SnoopySnoopyDoggDogg Tue 08-Oct-13 13:46:07

Aubergines Georgian ?! shock

Insurance salesmen/women, do you honestly think I am getting a good deal? Do you have the same deal? I've been speaking to a really nice chap about life insurance recently but I can't stop feeling it's all a bit of a con, even if it isn't!

DorrisM Tue 08-Oct-13 13:51:44

I do viewings for an Estate Agents.

Teachers - can you tell when parents have done their child's work, especially project or craft stuff? Do you mark it accordingly?

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 14:08:45

I've always wondered about male gynecologists too hmm

It was great that men went in to it when women were unable to do it..but now?

Onemanwenttomowameado Tue 08-Oct-13 14:27:16

I've always wondered about male gynecologists too

It was great that men went in to it when women were unable to do it..but now?

Sorry, but... WTF? There was a thread recently about male health visitors, and a fair bit of gnashing of teeth about how sexist it was that people were surprised to have a male HV.

Why shouldn't gynaecologists be men? In case they look at the diseased fannies and think 'phoarr'? Doctors do not look at body parts as sexual, but see a problem to diagnose and, where possible, treat. Men can be gynaecologists and women can be urologists. Wake up.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Tue 08-Oct-13 14:35:29

I don't think anyone is saying they shouldn't Oneman - where is anyone saying that?

I'm just genuinely curious about why they would.

notJenkins Tue 08-Oct-13 14:35:57

I see naked people at work often on the loo and am hugely not bothered. I always think that could be me in their position one day so treat accordingly.

FreeWee Tue 08-Oct-13 14:36:07

I've made cardboard boxes if anyone is remotely interested in finding out about them grin I also used to research food & drink products for people like Kraft. Any market research questions I'm your woman.

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 14:36:08

I think you misunderstood the point of this thread. Maybe you should reread the OP, it wasn't very long.

I never implied that gynaecologist were perverts hmm did I?

Oh but as you pointed out "looking at diseased fannies" is in the job description...what particularly may have made a man in particular choose this line of work? I could understand a female would have a vested interested in improving gynaecology however. SO I think it is an honest question.

As for the other thread you mention no one was being sexist about male HV's they were saying they found it difficult discuss their vaginas and breast with men. Which I think is perfectly fine. My HV did "man"handle my boobs a bit when I was desperately struggling to feed dd. It was awkward enough with a woman, it wouldn't have happened at all with a man.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Tue 08-Oct-13 14:36:19

And I'm pissed at your insinuations tbh

TheHeadlessLadyofCannock Tue 08-Oct-13 14:36:41

LetsFace, why do you think they wouldn't?

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Tue 08-Oct-13 14:38:09

I don't think they wouldn't, I would just like to know why they would.

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 14:38:44

looking at an international move freewee any recommendations on cardboard? I want to go with cheap and cheerful, dh thinks we need double walled like last time.. I say if they are being picked up and physically moved anyway it makes no difference

TheHeadlessLadyofCannock Tue 08-Oct-13 14:41:05

It seems like a strange question. Why does any doctor choose to specialise in anything?

That's a genuine question from me, now I think about it grin. Medical specialists, how do you decide whether to train as a heart surgeon/endocrinologist/urologist etc?

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 14:41:20

And I'm pissed at your insinuations tbh

Well personally I think at best it would put you off fannies... but I don't know which is why I wondered. But I didn't see anyone insinuate anything so... maybe you are reading something not there?

The question could have easily been why would anyone become a dentist.. I have also found that puzzling. It seems a vile job.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Tue 08-Oct-13 14:42:04

And as it happens, I'm waiting for the gynae ward to phone me to tell me whether they have a bed for me so I can have a hysterectomy tomorrow. It'll be done (fingers crossed) by the same male consultant who I've been seeing for the past 20 years. He's very good at his job but I've always wanted to ask him why he chose that specialism in the first place.

Who know, if I get enough pre-med, maybe I will! grin

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Tue 08-Oct-13 14:43:07

That 'pissed' cooment was to Oneman not you unfortunate smile

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 14:44:27

Oh and for the record I can completly understand why men would enjoy the OB aspect of Ob/gyn, but I don't believe all gynaecologist do ob.gyn?

LauraChant Tue 08-Oct-13 14:44:32

Surgeons! What happens if you need the loo during a long operation?

AndThatsWhatIThinkOfYou Tue 08-Oct-13 14:46:02

if always wondered if a tattooist would refuse to tattoo a person if they thought the tattoo would look ridiculous. Any tattooists on mn?

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 14:46:22

or just got mad shits? Wouldn't they have to end it?

JellyQuivvers Tue 08-Oct-13 14:46:39

Good question LauraChant!!!!

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 14:47:49

I think I have heard of tattooist refusing on "artistic" grounds. It probably includes doing racist or gang related tattoos too

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Tue 08-Oct-13 14:49:30

I'd also like to ask anyone who does a 'serious face' job what they do when something strikes them as double over laughingly funny. I'm thinking of Alice Tinker's wedding here.

Oceansurf Tue 08-Oct-13 14:52:54

Steppemum No! The child completed the work brilliantly. The mum (a teacher of Year 2) told m she didn't understand it and that it was hard. It was a Year 5 maths piece. As I teacher, I don't believe she should be telling me that! No Year 5 h/w piece should be hard to any primary school teacher.

DorrisM Definitely. Hence why I deliberately make some of the larger art pieces we do school based. I think it's tremendously unfair on those children that don't have help at home.

However, if it's just a piece of maths h/w for eg, I don't worry too much about it. It's the work they do in school that I would use for assessment purposes. Homework is just for practise smile

WholeLottaRosie Tue 08-Oct-13 14:58:44

I used to work on checkouts and never really took much notice what people were buying, after a while the products are just 'shapes' that you are passing across the scanner.

I did notice that one customer would come in every day and only ever buy two bottles of cheap sherry but it was hard not to notice him.

We also had a family who came in every week and bought two trolley loads; absolutely no fruit or veg, just piles of pies, pasties, chips etc. They were all morbidly obese and you could see other customers looking what was in their trolley and tutting/ scowling. I didn't judge but did feel really sad for them, especially the children.

I would say I noticed things more if the customer themselves brought my attention to what they were buying.

steppemum Tue 08-Oct-13 14:58:56

oceansurf, that is really funny! (and a bit worrying!)

there was a thread on mn about tattoos and someone said that the tattooist wouldn't do faces or hands as people usually regret having them

1chocolatetart Tue 08-Oct-13 14:59:34

Nice thread!

Cleaners - Do you judge my the house you're cleaning and the lazy slattern that is outsourcing her chores?

bordellosboheme Tue 08-Oct-13 15:02:04

Sales assistants and shopkeepers are you only nice to me because you want me to buy stuff.... Or do you genuinely like me?

LonelyGoatherd Tue 08-Oct-13 15:02:47

Former bookseller here - yes, I judged grin.

TheCrackFox Tue 08-Oct-13 15:03:59

GPs - do you secretly think most people are hypochondriacs?

GillyMac93 Tue 08-Oct-13 15:10:25

I work in a supermarket , and I often try and chat or cheer up an upset child ,especially if I'm on a checkout, then il play peek a boo or if child is older let them help scan so parents can pack easier . Children screaming doesn't bother me , at the enc of the day I go home but that parents has to deal with tantrums 24-7 so if I can make it easier for someone to get round the shop I will . I just think about being in someone else's shoes !

FreeWee Tue 08-Oct-13 15:15:56

unfortunate I'd say don't go for ones made by me wonky and badly glued

More is definitely more in the cardboard box world. Go for as good quality as you can afford. Don't scrimp so if your DH used double walled last time and it did the job then cheap is not cheerful when the bottom fall outs!

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 15:17:22

choci used to clean houses. I didn't notice or care except for filthy toilets especially when I knew it wasn't the kids husbands with poor aim.

Oh and u was frequently suprised by people asking me to clean what they had obviously just cleaned themselves

superlambanana Tue 08-Oct-13 15:18:50

Georgian yes, it's very obvious smile

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 15:19:02

<Sticks fingers in ears >

kim147 Tue 08-Oct-13 15:34:50

If you work in a mortuary, do you ever wonder if people actually aren't dead and will suddenly rise up above the sheets?

<Seen too many films>

Ezza1 Tue 08-Oct-13 15:50:57

I'm a health care worker - I can deal with all bodily fluids without batting an eyelid except snot and phlegm envy < vom...

Podiatrists - Why? Just why would anyone want to be a podiatrist? Little babies feet are scrumptious, anyone elses are foul.

YoniBottsBumgina Tue 08-Oct-13 16:00:15

Unfortunate having just done an international move, double walled YES, and better if you can afford. Quite a bit of our stuff got broken being in cheap double walled boxes from amazon.

Also stuff as much padding as you can in there!

YoniBottsBumgina Tue 08-Oct-13 16:01:43

Not quite a bookshop, but I used to work in WHSmith and I judged if people bought those crappy magazines with blurry photos of celebs in bikinis on the front with comments about them being too fat or thin. Also "lads mags". I judged.

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 16:03:41

grrrr yoni

ezzr wouldn't it be brilliant if you could specialise in baby feet? Wouldn't be much work abut I suppose though.......

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 16:04:19

so you don't recomend amazon for boxes? We were actually going to get them from there..

swannylovesu Tue 08-Oct-13 16:09:26

i can confirm snot and phlegm are far worse that wee and poo.

YoniBottsBumgina Tue 08-Oct-13 16:11:27

These are the ones we used boxes

The breakages were probably more down to bad packing than the boxes themselves, but a few of the boxes themselves did rip slightly in transit. One we think was opened and closed again. A couple of them looked like they'd been under a pile of other heavy stuff.

We had 15 boxes full and the breakages filled a "bag for life" plus a slow cooker where the base got bent, exposing wires (but this was not padded by anything). So overall didn't lose too much stuff, and we did pack in a hurry.

YoniBottsBumgina Tue 08-Oct-13 16:12:01

(Under heavy stuff, read: Could have done with stronger walls.)

SummerRain Tue 08-Oct-13 16:16:16

AndThats When I was having one of my tattoos a couple of lads came in looking for chinese symbols. The artist told them he didn't want to tattoo them.

Once they'd gone after whining for a while he explained he refused to do tattoos on people who were just getting a tattoo for the sake of having a tattoo, either they wanted a piece of artwork or he wouldn't do it.

Lalunya85 Tue 08-Oct-13 16:18:52

(ex) music teacher here.

It's pretty easy to tell whether a student has practiced during the week or not. Any practice at all - even a half hour spread across seven days - will have made some kind of a difference, and an attentive teacher will probably be able to tell.

One clear sign that someone hasn't practiced at all is when they come to a lesson, either not remembering what song we were playing last - or not remembering which page it was one. That's an easy giveaway wink

BalloonSlayer Tue 08-Oct-13 16:20:13

Midwives - how much does the mother's weight affect being able to gain information about her baby? Eg with scans* and manual checks in later pregnancy. Also does being overweight make it more difficult to put in an epidural?

* a friend of mine had a private scan and I noticed a disclaimer on it in very small print that the image was affected by "adiposity" which I thought seemed like a very coy way of putting something that they didn't like to say.

BalloonSlayer Tue 08-Oct-13 16:28:54

Oh and re the "why do men become gynaecologists" question, I'd imagine that during medical training you get to experience every aspect of medicine, find particular areas of the profession you enjoy and are good at, for example you discover that you find it easy to remember the parts/workings of, say, the kidneys than any other organ, your exam results for that part of the course are much higher than others, thus you find yourself steered towards being a kidney specialist.

Or you discover in yourself a hitherto unnoticed talent for speaking kindly and sympathetically to older people with dementia, so you end up going into gerontology.

Same with gynaecology.

Personally if I were lucky enough to be a doctor I would like to work in a field where the patients were not dying or seriously ill, and that's one of the reasons obs and gynae would be attractive to me. I always thought it must be fab to be Robert Winston - all the women he has helped to have babies - how wonderful. I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want to do that, if they could.

PinocchiosLeftNostril Tue 08-Oct-13 16:29:41

Thanks all for answering mine.

Books - I had a 15yo boy come into the library I worked at and asked to reserve 50 shades of grey for his mum. He was mortified! I definitely judged the mum and wondered if it was some sort of alternate punishment for teens these days. And whenever someone rather posh borrowed a book I always mentally added those books to my must read list so I could become posh too...

Cleaner - the only time I judged was when a little boy's bed was covered in dog hair and fleas. Thankfully it was just a one off deep clean so I didnt have to back. I mentioned my findings to the owner of the house and she said she'd just given her son's bed to the pets for the holiday because her son was at his dad's but that she'd sort it.

Asides from infestations, the messier the better! There's nothing more boring or awkward than cleaning something thats already clean especially when the client is in the house with you. I liked to be busy.

PinocchiosLeftNostril Tue 08-Oct-13 16:32:03

Thanks all for answering mine.

Books - I had a 15yo boy come into the library I worked at and asked to reserve 50 shades of grey for his mum. He was mortified! I definitely judged the mum and wondered if it was some sort of alternate punishment for teens these days. And whenever someone rather posh borrowed a book I always mentally added those books to my must read list so I could become posh too...

Cleaner - the only time I judged was when a little boy's bed was covered in dog hair and fleas. Thankfully it was just a one off deep clean so I didnt have to back. I mentioned my findings to the owner of the house and she said she'd just given her son's bed to the pets for the holiday because her son was at his dad's but that she'd sort it.

Asides from infestations, the messier the better! There's nothing more boring or awkward than cleaning something thats already clean especially when the client is in the house with you. I liked to be busy.

SummerRain Tue 08-Oct-13 16:38:03

Oh, and the waitresses being asked for a cloth one, I used to waitress and it depends really, if I was obviously run off my feet and a customer made a point of coming up and asking for a cloth I used to assume its was pointed request that I drop whatever I was doing and clear their table tbh.

A few customers managed to do it with managers watching and the waiting staff got reprimanded. I worked in one bar/restaurant in which the manager used to have lunch himself in the packed restaurant every day so he could 'observe' what we did. It was a huge and busy premises with too few staff to provide the level of service the management insisted on (they were insisting on restaurant style service in a bar which happened to serve food) and he'd sit there having a nice casual lunch and reprimand us later for not emptying the ashtray between courses, not stopping at each table while they're eating and asking if the food was ok, not having the tables cleaned an reset within 2 minutes of people leaving. We had 10+ tables each and might not even have had time to notice the empty table within 2 minutes, much less clean and reset it whilst other customers' food went cold in the kitchen

TunipTheUnconquerable Tue 08-Oct-13 16:43:00

I worked in a bookshop. I didn't judge, except I judged the parents who used to make faces at the books their teenage kids were buying. Just let them buy what they want ffs, even if it is about true crime or witches.

I have also worked in museums if anyone has any questions related to that.

Am v happy to hear waitresses like it when you pile the toddler-chewed food onto the plate because we always do that.

BeaverAbroad Tue 08-Oct-13 16:52:42

Am a counsellor, if it matters.

I always wonder- teachers, how long do you remember the stuff kids tell you? DS will be going to DD1's school, and two years ago she made a drawing and labelled it 'mum farting' hmm so am a bit worried!

ElephantsAndMiasmas Tue 08-Oct-13 16:53:13

Checkout people - do you ever play "Ready Steady Cook" like I do when I'm queueing and try to imagine what they're making with 18 courgettes, a packet of wotsits, shaving foam, pate and chocolate sprinkles?

Anaesthetists - do you ever worry that your patients are "secretly" awake? I have a friend who does this and I think it's a terrifying and quite creepy job really (though v important of course), would never tell them though blush

I'd love to ask a tabloid jouro, specially a DM one, whether someone goes through and adds in sexism, bigotry etc if they've forgotten to put enough into their original article.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Tue 08-Oct-13 16:55:23

And as an ex-waitress yes i hugely appreciated when big chunks of pre-chewed gunk were put somewhere like on the plate, rather than left bedaubed around, especially things like beans and cheese, urgh.

Oh yes worked in museums here too so can also answer questions.

Waitresses, my children seem to get through 700 wipes per meal. Is it ok if I pile them on my plate or should I continue to guiltily put them in a nappy bag and take them home?

Oh and shop types, does it boil your piss if I let my 5yo pay for her magazine or do you think it's ok?

Mrsmorton Tue 08-Oct-13 17:01:44

I'm a dentist. Grotty teeth don't even register to be honest. It's the lies/excuses that go with them that piss me off "oh I brush and floss three times a day" you definitely do not do that. "Oh the last dentist said this" I was your last dentist and I've never said that in my life.
I enjoy making dentures and am secretly quite good at it but once they've been in your mouth, I will retch if I see them moist.
My nurse usually whisks them away and cleans and dries them so I can look. That makes like tough sometimes!!

I don't suppose you're in surrey mrs m? I need a dentist who doesn't care about my grotty teeth!

TunipTheUnconquerable Tue 08-Oct-13 17:06:23

Painters and decorators, plumbers etc - do you judge a messy house, as long as the place where you're supposed to be working is clear?

MardyBra Tue 08-Oct-13 17:06:34

Dentists. Does your heart sink when a nervous patient (like me) comes in? I have a massive gag reflex and get into a panic.

TunipTheUnconquerable Tue 08-Oct-13 17:07:59

Doctors - how much do you hate it if we already know what's wrong with us from Dr Google? Does it annoy you even if you agree with the diagnosis?

MardyBra Tue 08-Oct-13 17:10:09

I have a question to ask MNHQ staff. Do you ever wish we'd all shut for for a couple of hours? And do you ever have the urge to bang all of our heads together?

KatoPotato Tue 08-Oct-13 17:11:42

ElephantsAndMiasmas I love playing that game! Esp fun if they have lots of rich treats then a bottle of gaviscon.

MardyBra Tue 08-Oct-13 17:11:51

Celebrities. How would you like us to react when someone recognises you? Friendly greeting, nonchalant/pretend we haven't seen you, or gush all over you?

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 17:12:22

Waitresses, my children seem to get through 700 wipes per meal. Is it ok if I pile them on my plate or should I continue to guiltily put them in a nappy bag and take them home?

didn't waitress but did bus tables, it all goes straight to the bin so whether it has one napkin or 500 is all the same. Just dont leave it all over

PeterParkerSays Tue 08-Oct-13 17:12:23

My sister (yes, the one learning the guitar) manages a mortuary. No, they are never worried about people waking up "on the slab" and she has great praise for undertakers inthe North West who treat the bodies they collect with great respect.

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 17:12:56

*all over different plates. because then you can't stack

DrawingLines Tue 08-Oct-13 17:14:06

Elephants in response to your tabloid journalist question, if a journalist is writing an article on which the paper has a strong 'opinion' then the journalist will be reminded of that before writing the article. Usually newspapers don't have time for substantial rewrites so either the journalist writes it with the appropriate viewpoint first time, or the article will be spiked (ie dropped and not published).

[Disclaimer - I'm not a tabloid journalist but have worked on women's mags, newspapers and know people at the Daily Mail and other tabloids]

TunipTheUnconquerable Tue 08-Oct-13 17:14:49

Pinocchios, I'm glad you like cleaning messy houses. My cleaner told me she likes coming to mine because she can always see she's made a difference, but I assumed she was just being polite blush

Hairdressers - how do you feel about customers whose last cut was by their husband rather than a professional and is a bit of a mess? Should we give you an extra big tip because it was bad to start with or doesn't it make any difference?

MardyBra Tue 08-Oct-13 17:15:38

Undertakers Do you think working with the dead affects the way you live your life? For example, do you think that you might be dead tomorrow, so live for today iyswim?

TunipTheUnconquerable Tue 08-Oct-13 17:16:28

Writers - how do you feel about 4 star reviews?

ElephantsAndMiasmas Tue 08-Oct-13 17:17:51

grin Gaviscon.

Yes, pile whatever you like on the plate, it's all about to be chucked in the bin anyway.

I've got some meeeeeja and politics experience if anyone has a question on those.

Would also love to know celebrity answer. I tend to ignore them, unless I end up staring at them wondering if I know them, as I did with a poor chap recently. Only after the staring had continued for some agonising seconds did I think "oh, shit! why is MORIARTY at the train station?" before recovering my senses.

DorrisM you do house viewings? Does everyone do the embarassed English non-committal 'mmm, I see, that's great' thing that I always resort to?

I work for a charity, but not one of those chugging on the street ones - we're a membership, academic charity. <waits for enquiries to flood in>. I do events management as part of the role. <tumbleweed>

Oh, meant to say - used to work on a checkout, only judged the one woman who used her milk vouchers in one transaction, then bought shedloads of cheap lager in another. I was a bit hmm, till a colleague pointed out that she probably needed it to get through the day, and said 'you cope any way you can'. Other than that, I loved customers with kids (am madly broody, even at 27 weeks with my first!) and would happily try to distract from tantrums. I still do in shops, even just as a customer. I don't judge, not for a second. Tantrums are normal, and if one time in ten I can help stop it, it makes me feel good all day.

Also, used to be a waitress, and any clearing up was always gratefully received. The wipes question: pile 'em on the plate. As long as I could pick up the plate and dump on tray without having to pick the wipes up individually, it all gets scraped into a bin, no worries. I've seen much grimmer things than toddler wipes the old lady who hacked up phlegm all over her leftovers AND didn't tip, for example.

AndThatsWhatIThinkOfYou Tue 08-Oct-13 17:19:05

haha it's always best to own up to cutting your hair yourself, we always know and it's quite funny asking some one if they have had a go at it themselves and they profusely deny it grin grin

TunipTheUnconquerable Tue 08-Oct-13 17:21:08

smile AndThatsWhatIThinkOfYou

MardyBra Tue 08-Oct-13 17:21:24

Hairdressers. Can you spot the MN haircut? grin

Hairdressers. My mum started going to a rival (at the same place) years ago and still gets me to ring up and make an appointment when the original woman isn't there in case she sees her and gets offended. It's been about 12 years now! Will hairdresser A give a toss? grin

DameFanny Tue 08-Oct-13 17:26:19

Excellent thread!

I've mostly worked in IT for the last 20 years so don't imagine that's of much interest no I can't fix your PC

Twiddlebum Tue 08-Oct-13 17:26:21

I'm a biomedical scientist.... Any blood test related questions???

I can't believe I've read all the way through and no one has asked "why do they take so many tubes of blood, why can't you use one?"!!! (I get that a lot!!)

Well yes, now you mention it... Isn't one pot enough?

volestair Tue 08-Oct-13 17:31:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eurochick Tue 08-Oct-13 17:31:46

I've often wondered about the gynae one. I knew a lot of med students at university and the thought of them making the decision to specialise in fanoirs for any kind of mature reason was beyond me. I had to have a laproscopy while I was at uni (but not in my uni town, thankfully) and was vehement about not consenting to med students being present, having met too many of them and seen what they were like!

Twiddlebum Tue 08-Oct-13 17:34:55

Different blood tubes have different chemicals etc in (anticoagulants etc) which different ones are needed for different tests. We also need to take the amount we do as most of the tubes get spun to separate the components and only about 1/4 of it is usable! smile

AndThatsWhatIThinkOfYou Tue 08-Oct-13 17:37:09

is the mn hair cut basically putting a really high pony tail in and just snipping it of? shock

and most of us hairdresser realise some people may prefer the way another hairdresser cuts it and it's personal preference, although some can be quite territorial about their clients, after 12 years I think if the other hairdresser was peed of she will have got over it by now smile

TheresaMcQueen Tue 08-Oct-13 17:38:57

I have a blood related question twiddle. What happens to all the blood after its been tested? I mean, how do you get rid of it?!

goodasitgets Tue 08-Oct-13 17:45:39

No questions (yet!)
Have worked for a skin/hair/bath company and currently a 999 ambulance call handler

Have you 'delivered' a baby yet goodasitgets? And do you have a big map with lots of little pins on it?

Glad I asked the DC to practise this morning. Thanks everyone.

Whoever asked, yes: aubergines! Can no longer remember if it was arse or fanjo, but if it's an aubergine in a southerly direction, anywhere's a wrong'un, I'd say.

Szeli Tue 08-Oct-13 17:48:54

Hair dresser - can spot lice a mile off. Dandruff is no bother, greasy unwashed flaky heads are; but you don't say anything, you use a bucket of dry shampoo and scrub your hands after!

Chit chat can be nice as its a bit close comfort without saying anything but no talking gets the job done quicker... Both have their plus points!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I can answer the surgeons going to the toilet one as im a scrub nurse. Generally for a big, long surgery of 6 or 7 hours plus there wont be just one surgeon but a team. This means at less fraught parts team members can scrub in or scrub out for comfort breaks. This does not apply to the scrub nurse though, my record before someone relieved me is 7.5 hrs. I think you just get 'in the zone' and dont think about peeing. Also dont drink a lot before you start!

Customer complaints. What is unjustified and how do you deal with?

AndThatsWhatIThinkOfYou Tue 08-Oct-13 18:03:03

what is classed as a 'straight face' job?

MooncupGoddess Tue 08-Oct-13 18:04:34

I asked an anaethetist that once, Elephants, and she said that there would be quite a lot of signs a patient was actually awake but paralysed, e.g. raised heart rate, change in breathing patterns.

bdbfan Tue 08-Oct-13 18:05:12

I've done a fair amount if bus and coach driving. School buses, school trips, holidays etc if anyone gas any questions

Twiddlebum Tue 08-Oct-13 18:09:05

Most of the blood gets stored in a massive walk in fridge for about 5 days before we bin it and gets incinerated. We have considered making black pudding! wink

Twiddlebum Tue 08-Oct-13 18:11:08

Customer complaints....

When I worked in a little chef (many years ago) the people that left their address in the complaints book got an arse wiped serviette delivered to their door!! Yes really! shockshock

AliceinSlumberland Tue 08-Oct-13 18:11:39

I used to be a salesperson - partly nice because it makes my day nicer and I'm genuinely a nice perso. But there is a lot of pressure to sell, and if you are taking something that I'm targeted on ill be nice to you so that I won't scare you off and you'll take the sale!

Twiddlebum Tue 08-Oct-13 18:12:41

And if someone sSmt their meal back for it to be done again..... You REALLY don't want to know! shockshock ( it was a particularly badly run little chef and it was the managers that were doing this!!)

ImABadGirl Tue 08-Oct-13 18:12:55

I work in a crematorium, happy to answer questions...

post people, how long is your round?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Twiddlebum Tue 08-Oct-13 18:16:52

Door to door window salespeople......

What do you think when you see a house with ornate painted wooden windows? Do you honestly think my 200 year old chocolate box cottage would look better with white plastic windows??

blibblibs Tue 08-Oct-13 18:17:20

The person who asked about kids paying for thier magazines - if the queue isn't massive I don't mind at all. If its trailing half way round the shop then it is a bit of a pain.

NotDead Tue 08-Oct-13 18:18:23

HR people, why do you bend over so easily for unscrupulous managers. . and why aren't you ashamedthat you do so?

VivaLeThrustBadger Tue 08-Oct-13 18:20:20

Midwife here. Smelly lady parts can be a problem at times. I try to breath through my mouth.

I think gynaecology is a popular speciality as its one of the few where you can get to do surgery without going down the harder surgeons route. Plus its nearly always obs/gynae together so you get surgery plus the ER drama or labour ward and saving people. Which I think appeals to a lot of men

Twiddlebum Tue 08-Oct-13 18:24:12

Midwives..... What's the best way to do your bikini line for birth? And what's the most common style?

winklewoman Tue 08-Oct-13 18:27:00

Twiddlebum, couldn't you start a vampire breeding business?

Twiddlebum Tue 08-Oct-13 18:28:01

Weirdly there are ALOT of goths that work in my lab!!

TheresaMcQueen Tue 08-Oct-13 18:28:36

<boak> at the thought of black pudding!

badgirl, when you get ashes back, is it just your family member and their coffin or is it several people? Also, does the whole body burn or do you have to dispose of some parts that won't? [hope that doesn't offend anyone, sorry in advance if it did]

goodasitgets Tue 08-Oct-13 18:30:12

I've delivered about 18 babies smile a few of which made it to the papers (one was 26 weeks)
And no to the map with pins!

ImABadGirl Tue 08-Oct-13 18:32:20

yes you only get your family members ashes back (we are subject to very strict rules about cross contamination) also coffin is cremated at the same time with fixtures and fittings. we cremate at 1000 0C so yes all of the body is cremated, the ashes you see are calcified bones.

VivaLeThrustBadger Tue 08-Oct-13 18:33:23

I think a general trim is the most popular pubic hair style. I'm not bothered by what it looks like, makes no difference.

DH asks what happens with fillings and cremations?

18 babies! Impressed! How exciting.

DH also wants to know who is your dentist if you are a dentist? And do you constantly think "you need to floss more" at dinner parties etc?

ImABadGirl Tue 08-Oct-13 18:36:53

all remaining metal is removed after the cremation with a magnet, fillings are so small they normally disintegrate.

Twiddlebum Tue 08-Oct-13 18:39:15

What happens to all the gold teeth after a cremation? Does it get sent to cash4gold?

He said "ooooh" smile

It's quite a process then by the sound of it. I've never thought about it much.

goodasitgets Tue 08-Oct-13 18:39:57
bigbadbarry Tue 08-Oct-13 18:40:18

Marking my place because I am loving this thread. I am a medical/technical editor so if anybody wants to know how to spell anything long and medical (or general copyediting stuff?!), fire away.

oinktopus Tue 08-Oct-13 18:43:14

Taxi drivers - why are you never staunchly liberal?

ImABadGirl Tue 08-Oct-13 18:43:23

gold teeth/rings all melt during cremation so all collects at the bottom of container so we remove it and put it in a bottle, every year it gets recycled and the money is given to charity.

oinktopus Tue 08-Oct-13 18:44:18

I'm not going to list all my jobs because the combination will out me, but I can answer questions on universities, petrol stations, bingo halls, and pharmaceuticals.

bymoonlight Tue 08-Oct-13 18:44:44


ChocChaffinch Tue 08-Oct-13 18:45:42

sales assistant here -

are we only friendly to get you to buy stuff?

grin good question
I think you go into sales/ stay in retail long term only if you genuinely are a people person, interested in meeting and building rapport with strangers. I enjoy all of the 'characters' I get to meet, finding out about them and their lives, I think to some extent we are quite nosy too!

just being a 'false' nice to get people to part with money is the sharp end of selling, anywhere high pressure, high commission and wouldn't be enjoyable to me.

Doobydoo Tue 08-Oct-13 18:48:48

As a nurse poo and wee fine! Phlegm....NOT...make sme want to be sick!

ChocChaffinch Tue 08-Oct-13 18:54:15

my answer to another shop question -
'does it boil my piss if your 5yo pays'

not at all, great for kids to interact respectfully with shop people.
Maybe not if there's a huge tutty queue though grin

I will always try and talk a kid out of a tantrum, it improves the whole ambience and pleasantness of the environment. I love finding out what people have named their kids too :-) it's the nosiness again...

bymoonlight Tue 08-Oct-13 18:55:07

I used to work in a supermarket. I was nice to the screaming kids in the hope I could get them to stop screaming - no one wants to listen to that. Also the mother is more likely to pack and pay quicker if said child is quiet for 5 mins, thus removing the child from the shop and restoring peace.

I was also a waitress. Don't leave chewed up food everywhere, I don't want to touch it. Wrap it in a tissue and put it on a plate - just have some consideration.

I was a postwoman as well. When there was a second delivery, post rounds used to take about 2.5hrs and then about half for the second delivery. Now there is one delivery and they average about 4 hours. But there is A LOT more work now. It used to be a case of coming in, getting your job ready, delivering it and going home. Now there is sorting before a delivery, most offices operate 'van sharing' where two people work together to complete two deliveries. They also have to cover rounds where people are sick or on leave now within normal duty time and thus overtime is almost non existent these days.

ThatVikRinA22 Tue 08-Oct-13 18:58:42

im trying to think of all the questions ive ever asked myself over the years....

i can answer questions about police, and eyes. i think.

ThatVikRinA22 Tue 08-Oct-13 19:00:10

ooo. i have one for the crematorium person....what happens to the ashes that never get collected? does that happen much?

gussiegrips Tue 08-Oct-13 19:00:45

Beauty people - do you really use all that gloop on yourself?

Dermatologists - is overpriced gloop better than soap, water, and a cheapie moisturiser/Vaseline on the lips?


PinocchiosLeftNostril Tue 08-Oct-13 19:03:56

Oh, one for the lady who drove buses - does it bother you when school trips etc burst into endless choruses of "90 green bottles" and "oh, you canny push yer granny off a bus"? Or do you quietly join in?

Bingo callers - Are you really so naturally happy? Really?

Flight attendants - Do nervous fliers get your genuine sympathy, or annoy you slightly?

Taxi drivers - Do you only start talking to me ("how's your day been?") just as we're pulling up to my house because you want a tip or do you really want to know how my day has been?

Midwives - If a mum who was as high as a kite on gas and air moaned about how ugly her baby's nose was for the first ten minutes after birth, would you judge...? outs self

Ooh I have a crematorium one, what about pacemakers and that sort of thing? Do they explode?

ImABadGirl Tue 08-Oct-13 19:04:38

ashes are either held for witnessed scattering, collected by funeral director or scattered by ourselves 15 days after cremation.

Very rarely are ashes left with us, we charge storage charges that's why funeral directors tend to collect ashes, they store them until family has made up mind where they are being scattered/kept on the mantlepiece.

ImABadGirl Tue 08-Oct-13 19:05:55

pacemakers do indeed explode, we need written confirmation that a pacemaker has been removed.

ChocChaffinch Tue 08-Oct-13 19:07:13

question to police officers/legal types/ social workers/ midwives anyone who needs to spot a fibber

I always look guilty when am asked questions! Lord knows how I'd cope if ever needed to answer proper questions
Do you look for body language 'tells' or can you spot a liar, or does everyone go red?
what type of grief/shock reactions are considered normal? what abnormal?

Mirage Tue 08-Oct-13 19:09:59

I'm a gardener if anyone wants to know anything.Like the posters who are cleaners,I love a messy garden with lots to do,you can see where you've been and you know you've made a difference.The ones that make my heart sink are the sterile little concrete and lawn squares where the customer expects you to spend 2.5 hours 'tidying' it up.

Two members of my in laws family are doctors and apparently they used to take out the pacemakers. So DH has just told me anyway...

ThatVikRinA22 Tue 08-Oct-13 19:11:29

re liars.....often when someone lies they glance up to the left. but there is no real way of spotting a liar - tho most of my "clients" routinely fib!

sometimes its just obvious. to be a good liar you need a good memory!

im a cop.

LauraChant Tue 08-Oct-13 19:14:10

Thank you Geraldine!
7.5 hours without the loo shock

Crutchlow35 Tue 08-Oct-13 19:14:22

Dare I say it.....I am an estate agent if anyone wants to ask anything.

ChocChaffinch Tue 08-Oct-13 19:14:44

are RL cops as stereotypical as every crime novel/tv show in the world?
Ie struggling to be happily married, hard drinking, sexist
have you ever contaminated a forensic scene?
do cops steal drugs/money from scenes ??

oooh vicarinatutu go on dish the dirt!

ChocChaffinch Tue 08-Oct-13 19:16:47

crutchlow35 -- when you get a cruddy damp hole to sell, does your heart sink!
when you present houses to you cover up flaws? do you actually lie or just cleverly avoid direct questions on the matter, ie will the chimney fall down imminently?

FreeWee Tue 08-Oct-13 19:18:18

I'm a psychology graduate who took part in a lie detector test and passed grin Liars need to truly believe what they are lying about is true. I was lucky I was asked questions which I could convince myself I could answer differently from the truth. The lie detector measures heart rate and sweat levels. So if you can keep calm (meditation) and relaxed as well as try and convince yourself you're telling the truth then you're in with a shot. Or it could be we were all undergraduates and my fellow students couldn't work the electrodes!

bdbfan Tue 08-Oct-13 19:20:43

Pinocchio - doesn't really bother me. There used to be a group of reception/yr1 kids that I took swimming every week and they always sang the cookie jar song
( who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?)
Who me?
Couldn't be?
Then who?
The bus driver stole the cookie etc etc

Then I'd have to sing the next bit.

Loved those kids, they were so little compared to the great big high school kids I usually drove, some of them even needed help getting on the bus as the step was too high!

Crutchlow35 Tue 08-Oct-13 19:20:59

It is slightly different in Scotland as we have home reports which means a viewer will know about all the bad points before viewing. So there is no reason to lie or cover something up.

Cruddy, damp houses can and generally do sell quicker than a lot of finished ones. The only bit that makes my heart sink is doing viewings at them in the middle of winter because usually there is no power and no heat making them utterly freezing.

SuburbanCrofter Tue 08-Oct-13 19:21:09

I used to be a checkout assistant, and no, I didn't judge. Mot of the time I didn't really notice what I was scanning, I tended to go into a dream world - scanning repetitively is quite soporific! It was only when the customer said something like 'in case you were wondering, we're having a party' in an embarrassed way that I would look down and notice I was scanning bottle after bottle of booze grin

Regarding the points about tattooists mentioned above. I asked my tattooist if he minded when people came in with really fugly suggestions. (He had been to art college so presumably would have some opinions on what had artistic merit and what didn't). He said aside from the usual caveats about racist/inoffensive etc. designs, he did not pass judgement on what people wanted to have done, because it was something that meant something to them as an individual. I got the impression that tattooists bent over backwards to be non-judgemental because people with body art as so often judged by others.

PinocchiosLeftNostril Tue 08-Oct-13 19:25:39

FreeWee - I consider myself to be a good liar (ex drama student - another one if anyone's has any questions re drama) would i pass a lie detector so long as i stayed calm and 'acted' honest?

And how does one get a 'neutral' result? I've forgotten the correct term, but a result that's nether passed or failed.

Psychics - Are you really psychic or do you embellish a lot of generic findings to suit the client?

Vets - Do you judge clients who give their pets unusual names?

CitrusyOne Tue 08-Oct-13 19:31:58

To the poster upthread who asked how long teachers remember stuff for....,yep, an awful long time, especially the entertaining stuff!

oversomeniagara Tue 08-Oct-13 19:33:35

I have an additional theory about some male gynaecologists! I know a lot of doctors and I know lots of them went through stages of med student hypochondria. If you are male and a gynaecologist it is extremely unlikely you can have any of the stuff your patients have. Also, the sensible answers of the other posters seem a good shout.

3boys3dogshelp Tue 08-Oct-13 19:33:41

This thread is fascinating! I'm a vet -ask away.

A couple of the doctor ones relate to us too -surgery -usually only one of us operating - I have had to scrub out to go to toilet or vomit several times while pregnant. Not a big deal but you do have to scrub up again which is a pita. Like the scrub nurse said, you don't normally notice if you're 'in the zone' (and nobody is trampolining on your bladder).

Dr Google is hated with a passion by every vet I know!! Usually because it takes twice as long to explain why their pet doesn't have the condition Dr Google diagnosed as well as carrying out my usual consult. I hate the Internet,with it's non peer-reviewed crap rather than the client who is obviously just trying to do their best for their pet though iyswim.

Icelollycraving Tue 08-Oct-13 19:33:53

gussie yes I use all the 'gloop'.

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 19:35:26

3boys what's the worst thing you found in a dog

ThatVikRinA22 Tue 08-Oct-13 19:35:58

Q/ are RL cops as stereotypical as every crime novel/tv show in the world?

A/ no. There is a definite "culture" which is hard to stomach at times - but its as diverse as the population. we are just people so you get a mix. There is a saying that gets bandied about - join the force - get a divorce - its hard in as much as shift work takes it toll, it can be anti social, you cant really go home and talk about work, without doing it its hard for partners to "get" what you do and what you see. That said, i joined later in life and have been married for 22 years. happily. There does seem to be a bit of bed hopping among some though!

Q/have you ever contaminated a forensic scene?
A/no - i dont think so anyway. We have our DNA and finger prints taken so ours can be recognised at a scene if need be. Ive done lots of scene preservation and scene sitting. The most important thing is to identify a scene and then prerserve it.

Q/do cops steal drugs/money from scenes ??
A/ - god no! everything is very carefully logged - everything is auditable. there is always a paper trail. No one i work with would ever dream of doing that. There are some that get caught doing something they shouldnt be - but its usually something to do with outside of work - ive never known a cop take money or drugs while ive been in. The job takes honesty and integrity VERY seriously. The process to get in is very tough, with vetting galore. Anything that tarnished the reputation of the job these days would land you in very hot water, and probably out of a job.


3boys3dogshelp Tue 08-Oct-13 19:36:10

X-post - I love the unusual names, it helps me remember people and is often a good talking point if you're on your twentieth booster appointment that day. I have judged a couple of people who gave their animals racist names though...

Rosencrantz Tue 08-Oct-13 19:37:47

I work in kids TV! Any questions?

OohDoctorDarcy Tue 08-Oct-13 19:38:03

Re lying I usually recognise lies by the holes in stories/environment /previous contact rather than something specific. People I work with often believe they've spent all am playing with child/tidying( house says differently) , not been drunk for ages (recycling bin says differently ) so they'd probably pass a lie detector but are obviously lying.

Greyhorses Tue 08-Oct-13 19:38:28

I am a vet nurse and we love unusual names. I much prefer a name that stands out amongst the same 10 names we see all day!
I love animals to have people names like Dave.

I can answer some animal job related questions if anyone had any!

I always wondered about tattooists... Do you secretly laugh at some of the things people have done? I have seen some really rubbish tatts recently!!

3boys3dogshelp Tue 08-Oct-13 19:38:49

A giant pair (truly enormous!) of granny knickers which the owner told me he had taken from her dirty washing pile. I'm ridiculously squeamish about people!

ScaryMartian Tue 08-Oct-13 19:38:57

I'm a healthcare professional- the sort that deals with helping people get rid of their sputum- it's actually very satisfying- especially when I help them shift a particularly stubborn bit! wink I've no problem with wee, poo or vomit- weepy leg ulcers however do make me gag but never so the patient would notice.

Do people who work on a checkout in a supermarket pay attention to what people are buying and judge?

The same goes to those in pharmacies...

I have worked in various animal related professions, vets, rescue and zoo.

Would often have a giggle at pet names, the best ever was a dog called 'Brad' when we asked where the name came from the guy said 'Because he's a Pit!' Still makes me smile.

Rosencrantz, do you know Floella Benjamin and how does she look exactly the same as when I was 5 a loooooong time ago?

HomeEcoGnomist Tue 08-Oct-13 19:44:22

I'm in H.R...and do not think that I ever do anything that an unscrupulous manager wants me to. Then again, I am squarely of the opinion that I work for the organisation, and by default, its management if they want to achieve an outcome, it's up to me to help them get there - legally and with minimal amount of risk.

Sorry, that is a v tedious answer compared to all the rest.

Q for personal shoppers - are you really being honest when you tell us things look good, or are you just hoping we'll buy something/anything so the last hour of your life wasn't wasted?

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 19:44:25

I work in kids TV! Any questions?

Do you frequently want to punch the "talent" rosencratz? Are the children awful?

3boys that's brilliant, I'd be mortified and suprsed if my knickers could fit in a dog

loving brad the Pit

FCEK Tue 08-Oct-13 19:44:27

don't know if this has been asked yet too lazy to check

but I've always wondered how midwives can look at the fanjos of women who don't bother to keep themselves clean, who probably stink of BO etc

I used to like the idea of being a midwife until that thought crossed my mind boak

willowstar Tue 08-Oct-13 19:45:26

Used to be a nurse real trouble at all with wee poo, though when there is lots of blood in poo it was a bit more difficult, however thick sputum used to really bother me, I could never have worked on a chest ward! I used to hate having to give people suction to get their secretions out.

ScaryMartian Tue 08-Oct-13 19:45:45

Ooo sorry, saw the supermarket one has been answered already. Must pay attention!

ScaryMartian Tue 08-Oct-13 19:47:09

willowstar.. I looove suctioning! I realise that makes me a bit of a freak!

GlitzPig Tue 08-Oct-13 19:48:32

Not my own line of work, but I do have a good friend who's a podiatrist and like some cleaners and gardeners up the thread, she absolutely loves people with horrible feet, as she can see such a massive difference when she (and her scalpel) have finished with them.

My own feet are rather lovely, so she definitely wasn't saying this to make me feel better grin

OohDoctorDarcy Tue 08-Oct-13 19:51:27

rose long shot but don't suppose you work on that pirate Cbeebies one? Someone on here reckons its CGI slime (I've not watched it to see) and I want to know is it true & is so why?

maddy68 Tue 08-Oct-13 19:52:56

Teacher here. No never compare siblings, they are usually very different strangely
Do I judge comments from parents? Depends how they are written. Some are downright arsey so yes smile a genuine concern is treated very differently

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 19:53:40

envy eurgh glitz

I was a waitress and I did get annoyed if a person left a massive mess and then didn't look apologetic or attempt to say "Sorry about the mess." Got very annoyed if there was an air of "Well, it's nothing to do with me!" (Which there often was when I was working in Bath, it was mainly students or wealthy folk coming to the restaurant I worked in) Especially on a busy day when it tracked through the entire restaurant by customers, staff and children.

I also got annoyed when big tables of people would go leaving no tip for the waitress, when that waitress had worked with that one table for three hours without stopping. Or left pennies, that was more insulting.

I'm a nanny now if anyone has questions on that! I have worked as an elf (and Mrs Claus!), in a garden centre, as a watersports and climbing instructor for PGL and a shop assistant for a PO in the past too smile

Estate agents: Do you enjoy doing the photos of homes? Or is it a pitfa when you have people with 'quirky' or messy homes?

preschoolmusic Tue 08-Oct-13 19:56:29

I run music classes for preschool children. Any questions?

ImABadGirl Tue 08-Oct-13 19:59:03

do you get annoyed at the buggers little kids that do laps of the room as opposed to joining in?

mumsnoc Tue 08-Oct-13 20:02:55

I worked in a bookshop as a student and yes, I think we all judged a little when we weren't too busy to notice anything other than the barcode. But mostly we didn't really care what people bought unless they made an impression on us otherwise i.e. caused us to notice them either by being annoying or being very nice/ friendly or by buying a big pile of books.

insertsomethingwitty Tue 08-Oct-13 20:04:51

I type up police interviews.

Have also worked on a check out in a supermarket years ago, never took particular notice of what people brought - unless it was a hot chicken from the counter as they always smelt lovely. Never judged or particularly cared what people brought or why. It is a very repetitive job and like driving the same journey every day after a while you just do it without really noticing too much what is going on around you.

Also never bothered me children screaming or people getting their children to pay, although if you are going to get your kids to pay for the weekly shop please be sure you haven't put age restricted products in your shop as then we couldn't take money from children and usually ended in tears and annoyed parents thinking you were being a bit of a jobsworth.

ChocChaffinch Tue 08-Oct-13 20:06:21

thank you Vicarinatutu

have you ever known the police complaints thingy internal audit people to investigate any of your colleagues?

to the poster who asked about complaints/ taken seriously/ how dealt with

this is generally the most challenging area of retail, getting them is never great, and we endeavour to a) satisfy them fast and b) ensure situation/error Never arises again
we communicate honestly, and keep the customer updated, and offer them options for solutions,
listening carefully and seriously are v important
we often find our <few> complainers become our greatest and most loyal customers, as we've proved how much we care <cheesy but true>
If you get great service in a store be sure to tell them or email the head office as great service should be recognised too, if you tell head office the employee should get recognition, which is a lovely part of a job where a great many talented caring people in hundreds of stores go a bit unnoticed TBH

TheAccidentalExhibitionist Tue 08-Oct-13 20:11:55

I'm a podiatrist
Most people who think they have nasty feet, really don't.
I think it's one of those jobs you can either do or not do.
I'm rarely bothered by stinky feet and I don't judge people on the state of their feet unless they come tottering in wearing high heels
Nothing, apart from a badly infected or necrotic ulcer bothers me and then it's only because of the smell.
It makes my bum go funny when I see bone at the bottom of an ulcer.

Cutitup Tue 08-Oct-13 20:12:18

I would like to ask teachers:

What do you do if a massive, do-at-home art project handed in by a child was obviously done by the mother. And the winning 'art projects' will be displayed in the local art shop?

This irks me more than anything!

babybarrister Tue 08-Oct-13 20:15:57

I work with divorcing couples - I always have a tale or two ...grin

TheAccidentalExhibitionist Tue 08-Oct-13 20:17:51

Oh tell us babybarrister

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 20:19:40

Oooh have you ever seen a couple you wih would stay together and then try and facilitate it like a 1950s film?

preschoolmusic Tue 08-Oct-13 20:21:37

"do you get annoyed at the buggers little kids that do laps of the room as opposed to joining in?"

Occasionally. I try to keep the session varied and active so they don't have a chance to do that. If they're just wandering around at the back, I don't mind. But if they're creating merry hell and the mum or dad is just gassing with their neighbour, then I really have to grit my teeth, and put on a smiley voice and make some "suggestions" to the parent.

DanielMcSpaniel Tue 08-Oct-13 20:23:36

Ok. I admit it. I was a doctors receptionist. Fire away (just shoot cleanly).

RevoltingPeasant Tue 08-Oct-13 20:23:45

I'm a university lecturer! Anybody want to flame me ask me anything?

RevoltingPeasant Tue 08-Oct-13 20:25:35

Daniel do you ever get reeeeeeeally annoyed with NHs internal communication or IT systems?

ameliameerkat Tue 08-Oct-13 20:26:48

Police people - do you have to spend the first couple of years dealing with drunk people, shoplifters etc before you can specialise and how do you cope with that?! I've considered the police a couple of times and one of the mains things that put me off was having to deal with endless Friday/Saturdays of drunk folk getting in fights until I had enough experience to go and work in a more specialised area.

Bus drivers - do you have to drive the same route over and over, or do you switch routes day to day to make it more interesting?

I work in renewable energy, wind turbines now, but my last job was more general in renewables and sustainability. Ask away!

FixItUpChappie Tue 08-Oct-13 20:28:09

Anyone work in television?

How can you tell what people are watching? Is it only certain people (Nelson families...?) that count? If I don't have time to watch a favored show but turn on the channel to register my support before I go out does that even matter or is it a total waste of time?

ElleBelly Tue 08-Oct-13 20:29:23

I'm a nurse, no problems with phlegm, pee, vomit etc. Only time I ever gagged was at shit, and in my defence I was in the throes of morning sickness. And I second what an early poster said, tits, fannies, arses, wobbly bits, hairy bits, we really don't care.Everyone's bodies are unique, we're all built differently and it'd be boring if we were all the same!
Anyone in IT I would like to know if turning it off and on again is a key element of your work.
Anyone in kids tv, has Justin fletcher ever snapped and told a child to fuck off?

Crutchlow35 Tue 08-Oct-13 20:36:10

Estate agents: Do you enjoy doing the photos of homes? Or is it a pitfa when you have people with 'quirky' or messy homes?

It can be good but generally a pain when sellers have given no thought to how their house will look to the public. I have often had to rearrange appointments in order for people to clean their house, flush the toilet, do the dishes etc.

I have gone to houses where beds are not made, tampax are sitting on the cistern, curry dishes and beer bottles left lying out, dog shit in the garden.

DH used to be a bus driver. Different routes on different shifts.

PinocchiosLeftNostril Tue 08-Oct-13 20:36:27

Revolting - do you interact with mature students differently than younger students? Would you feel intimidated teaching someone older than yourself?

Another bus one - does it annoy you when there are bus stops within 30 seconds of each other, and you have to stop at every single one to let people out? Don't you just want to scream "Why didn't you just get off at the last one?"

Daniel Do you ever feel a bit queasy taking in a urine/poo sample over the reception desk? My GP receptionist always makes a big deal of going off and getting gloves before touching samples, even though the tubes are in a plastic bag.

TheAccidentalExhibitionist Tue 08-Oct-13 20:36:49

Daniel did you feel very territorial over your doctors?

DanielMcSpaniel Tue 08-Oct-13 20:37:01

Primary Care IT is generally very good. More and more stuff is able to be easily transferred electronically between practices and basic information is often available within minutes of registration. Shame secondary care is so far behind.

SignoraStronza Tue 08-Oct-13 20:37:43

I know a couple of anaesthetists. He absolutely loathes fat people - and yes, it really does make it more difficult to put in an epidural.

PinocchiosLeftNostril Tue 08-Oct-13 20:41:26

Anesthetists - why do patients have to fast before a scheduled operation, but are able to go in for an emergency operation even if it's just 30 minutes after eating a big meal?

i desperately wanted to ask my daughter's anesthetist this when she was rushed in for an emergency op but i was a right old mess. I can just remember shouting, "But she's just had a casserole and dumplings! The medicine won't work!" blush

Rosencrantz Tue 08-Oct-13 20:41:43

Kids TV question answers!

I worked on a very famous news programme, the programme named after a colour and bloke's name, and a little stint on a nursery belonging to a Mr _ who shares his name with Orlando. ;)

Do you know Floella Benjamin and how does she look exactly the same as when I was 5 a loooooong time ago?

-No don't know her personally, but have seen her knocking around the studios. She doesn't seem to age!

Do you frequently want to punch the "talent" rosencratz? Are the children awful?

-Haha, many do! I don't tend to work with child actors (factual programming here, not drama) and the shows I'm on tend to have adult guests, who are for the most part lovely - though I do think 'celebrities' are pandered to, to ridiculous levels, by staff in other departments. Excessive riders for dressing rooms, things like that get on my nerves - they're only people too! Makes for some over inflated egos in the entertainment biz - but again, not too much of a problem on my shows. Presenters -hands down- have been wonderful, and are loved by staff!

rose long shot but don't suppose you work on that pirate Cbeebies one? Someone on here reckons its CGI slime (I've not watched it to see) and I want to know is it true & is so why?

Don't work on that show, but very familiar with it. No CGI! Colours enhanced in the edit sometimes, but characters deffo get slimed in real life. Kids TV budgets are notoriously low, too low for CGI, when just sliming them is cheaper.

Anyone in kids tv, has Justin fletcher ever snapped and told a child to fuck off?

No contact with Justin Fletcher, sorry! Inclined to think that no, never said that to a child. Most are very professional and actually very good with kids. The amount of time presenters spend talking to kids in their everyday lives - due to being recognised- is insane. They are very good at keeping polite, though probably go home and bitch afterwards. For the most part, to be successful on kids TV, you've got to find precocious kids charming.

DanielMcSpaniel Tue 08-Oct-13 20:42:20

I only bothered with gloves if it was a just-produced sample straight from the patients loo, or they brought it out of their bag wrapped up in slightly damp toilet roll smile.

Territorial? Yes, one older female GP who was, quite frankly, overwhelmed with heartsink patients and got emotional very easily. She was the only one we actively protected from all and sundry. Not the rest though, they deserved everything they got thrown at them.

Bearfrills Tue 08-Oct-13 20:47:45

Anesthetists - why do patients have to fast before a scheduled operation, but are able to go in for an emergency operation even if it's just 30 minutes after eating a big meal?

Not an anaesthetist but I know this because I asked when I had an EMCS. Some people vomit because of the drugs and can aspirate it so for a planned operation you have to fast but in an emergency the risk of not doing the operation outweighs the risk of aspirating vomit during the operation. Maybe there are other reasons too but that was the one given to me.

Gunznroses Tue 08-Oct-13 20:50:12

Probably stupid question but i've always wondered ....

Doctors/Nurses- How do you care for female inpatients when they start their periods? Do for female patients in a coma have periods ? How do you care for them?

ameliameerkat Tue 08-Oct-13 20:54:38

Another one for the anaesthetists! When I had an operation, they injected me with something before the actual anaesthetic. Which one made me feel like I was really drunk (proper room spinning) before I went under?

Nurses - what's the funniest thing someone's said when they've just come around after an operation? The first thing I asked the nurse was if I was still wearing my pants! She checked and told me that I wasn't. Good to know.....

TunipTheUnconquerable Tue 08-Oct-13 20:55:55

I have been a uni lecturer.
I had absolutely loads of mature students because I taught a vocational course where a lot of the students had years of professional experience, and they were great. Generally worked hard and had a mature attitude to learning. (And if you fuck up as a new lecturer the older students are likely to be more understanding about it than the younger ones.) I never had any who were arsey about me being younger than them, though one of my first PhD students who came from overseas was gobsmacked when he met me and blurted out 'I thought you would be an old lady!' (I was early 30s.) We laughed about it.
I didn't feel intimidated, even by those who I suspected knew more than me, because I felt like my job was to help them convert their knowledge and experience into top academic performance; even if there was stuff they knew more about than me, I still had plenty to teach them about how to succeed in their actual degree. Plus, you want your students to do well and if they do well without much help, what's not to like?

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 20:56:27

Rosencrantz thanks for answering, child actors always seem like they want a good kickin stern talking to.

one more question if you don't mind... what's the atmosphere been like since all the scandals? Are all the presenters a bit paranoid about being too close to the children? Or has it not really affected this generation of performers too much?

bdbfan Tue 08-Oct-13 20:56:41

Pinocchio - yes that annoys me! Not if the passenger is older or has mobility problems, but people who are clearly too lazy to walk 20 yards drive me mad! On one route I used to drive you'd have to turn around in a housing estate, so to back into a side road, you'd need to pull the bus diagonally across the road so it's completely blocking it to get the angle right to reverse iyswim, I had a passenger who wanted me to let her off the bus while I was blocking the road, rather than wait for me to reverse as it meant she had to cross the road. Drove me nuts.

joey99 Tue 08-Oct-13 20:58:37

Estate Agents -
When an Estate agent values your house, gushes about how fab it is and how crazy you are to want to sell it, says they would dearly love to market it, and that they have swarms of people waiting to view and then two weeks later you have had no viewings at all do you think that we may have just fallen for a sales pitch and have no chance of selling it? blush

mrscog Tue 08-Oct-13 21:01:15

I currently work in a university and have a fair amount of experience working at a big UK exam board (that outs me to anyone I used to know!).

I have a question for any speed camera operators out there... Is it frustrating when everyone slows down and because it's a queue of traffic you don't catch anyone for ages? Is there a bit of a thrill when you clock someone doing 60 in a 30 or something?

kim147 Tue 08-Oct-13 21:07:39


Have you ever had to save someone?

Do you hate Saturday afternoons with rowdy children?

Have you ever told anyone off for "heavy petting" grin

littlemisssarcastic Tue 08-Oct-13 21:08:03

People who work in banks, Do you judge people on their spending habits? Do you get pissed off when someone loses multiple cards? Do you get frustrated with people who are rubbish with money?

superbagpuss Tue 08-Oct-13 21:10:38

I have worked in food transportation, mental health agency and anything with an engine company
ask away grin

office workers: do you notice what your colleagues wear? if they wore the same thing a week after it was worn would you care?

GinOnTwoWheels Tue 08-Oct-13 21:11:43

Pacemakers and mortuaries got a few mentions up thread. The pacemakers have to be removed because they contain radioactive batteries that would contaminate the crematorium and release radioactive particles if burnt.

I have a question for solicitors - do you ever refuse to defend a client because they were caught red handed and there is no way that you can argue that they didn't do it?

littlemisssarcastic Tue 08-Oct-13 21:13:14

I am terrified of being cremated, although not as scared of being buried. hmm

FreeWee Tue 08-Oct-13 21:14:28

Pinocchio lie detector tests measure your physical reaction to stress i.e. The stress of telling a lie. So your palms/finger tips sweat, your heart races and that's what the test picks up on. So if you can regulate your breathing (meditation for example) then you can cheat the heart rate one. Psychopaths pass lie detector tests because they truly believe they're not lying (I'm not a psychopath!!!) and therefore don't give the physiological responses it picks up on. Being good at drama may help you in a police interview when I imagine (correct me if I'm wrong) it's about body language rather than physical response.

EeyoreIsh Tue 08-Oct-13 21:16:19

sugarbagpuss I notice of someone is wearing a particularly nice outfit, but I never notice what people wear day after day unless they smell.

Pandorassox Tue 08-Oct-13 21:16:31


FreeWee Tue 08-Oct-13 21:17:17

Oh Pinocchio I don't know about a neutral result. Hopefully someone who didn't just piss about in a few lectures sticking electrodes on their friends' fingers will know a bit more!

FloraDance Tue 08-Oct-13 21:18:17

As a midwife, I don't find vagina's smelly very often, there's usually something interesting going on if you're looking really closely so it's not on your mind. Also usually postnatal when you have impressed the importance of good hygiene and if before, there are lots of options for cleaning or suggesting a shower/ bath.

Wee is the only bodily fluid that makes me heave, and the smell of umbilical cords just before they drop off.

No opinion on hair, possibly easier to suture if it is pretty short.

Bump size wise, I am always shocked by the uniformity of bump size when women are laid down, they do tend to follow the 'correct' no of cms top to bottom pretty well.

Adiposity definitely means what you suspected PP, also 'maternal habitus'. Palpation, scans and epidurals all harder I'm afraid.

Just watching Midwives and a woman having an emergency c sec has her eyelids taped shut during the GA. Why?

Vintagecakeisstillnice Tue 08-Oct-13 21:19:59

Ex nurse here now working in big pharma.

Re: vomit/shit/sputum, big grin, the muscles used for grinning help suppress the vomit reflex. Just a tip.

Me personally the above didn't bother me to much unless I was a bit delicate anyway. Eyes though, ewueeeee.
Again I loved wound care the smellier, and ickyier the better.

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 21:20:45

midwives what's the most ridiculous or PFB question you have been asked by a preg woman or new mother?

PinocchiosLeftNostril Tue 08-Oct-13 21:28:24

Thanks for answering mine so far, everyone. I feel very educated.

Nurses, would you judge or say anything to a parent who brought their 7 year old in to a vaccination clinic for jags that are normally given at 3yo? My friend is putting off going with her son because she doesn't want to be told off. sad

Chuggers, are you trained to target a specific 'type' of person? E.g. approach someone who looks like they're a bit of a pushover?

Vets, do you really love all animals? Or are there some that scare you/you dislike/think are icky?

Teachers in schools without a 'lunchbox rule' - do you notice/judge what children bring in for snacks/packed lunches?

And for those in schools that do enforce a lunchbox rule, do the staff follow the same rule? No cakes/biscuits etc in the the staff room?

Long shot, but, airline pilots. What do you DO for hours when there are no checks etc to do and you're just in the cruise, on autopilot?

Nurses/healthcare people - when a person dies, and, for example, you need to move them or do something, do you still talk to them? My granddad died recently and it makes me sad thinking he'd just be handled like a "thing" and not a person after he'd gone.

Mirage Tue 08-Oct-13 21:33:08

DH works in IT.They still do tell people to 'turn it off and turn it on again',but it is now known as 'power cycling'.

I know an aniethetist who hates having overweight patients too.

I always talk to people when doing last offices. They are still someone's loved one and even if they are beyond help peoples family like to know you cared right till the end and that they were treated with dignity and respect and most importantly were not alone.

Banking - I worked in this industry and I never understood how bonuses were structured. I know its on total package, not just the actual bonus but it really did appear to be arbitrary as to how much people got. Can you put a good case for bonuses here please? (Genuine curiosity here not sarcasm) I really would like some knowledge not just media hyperbole.

Very sorry about your granddad lolli

Timpani Tue 08-Oct-13 21:35:37


MissBetseyTrotwood Tue 08-Oct-13 21:37:26

To Head Teachers - are you/were you a good/outstanding classroom teacher? Does it matter?

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 21:38:13

Long shot, but, airline pilots. What do you DO for hours when there are no checks etc to do and you're just in the cruise, on autopilot

mile high club, blatantly

*disclaimer not a pilot

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Tue 08-Oct-13 21:39:58

I love this thread

FloraDance Tue 08-Oct-13 21:40:08

midwives what's the most ridiculous or PFB question you have been asked by a preg woman or new mother?

My friends have asked me this and variations on the theme before and while I see why they are interested I don't answer, I couldn't offer new parents' experiences up as entertainment (really not meaning to sound stuck up!). But the truth is that I can never think of anything because no question seem daft to me when you are in the moment of caring for the family. If it's of enough concern that they've asked, it's important to me too and might give me wider information. If it sounds really daft I have invariable misheard!

mignonette Tue 08-Oct-13 21:40:26

I am a RMN so don't encounter most bodily fluids very often. They don't bother me except sputum. I used to hate suctioning patients (during my training I had to do critical care placements) and collecting sputum/sputum pots. That makes me gag although Herculean efforts were made to hide it.

Not a vet, but would say I like most animals I have worked with and have a healthy respect for them all.
But the ones I don't like include....
Jack Russells
Squirrel monkeys

mignonette Tue 08-Oct-13 21:42:18

I also talk to dead patients during Last Offices. Again I don't do it often (The last three occasions have been for my own relatives) but I talk and treat dead patients no differently to the living.

Jcee Tue 08-Oct-13 21:42:51

Victoria line Tube drivers - when the doors won't close because someone's coat/bag/leg is preventing them from closing and you ask nicely and ask again and again, then it gets sorted, how much do you swear once off the speaker? I always imagine it must be lots..... And why are the doors so much more sensitive than on other tube trains?

Civil servant here if you have any questions....

cls77 Tue 08-Oct-13 21:43:08

pinocchio your friend won't be judged, tell her to take her dc if she wants him to be immunised, it's an important decision and any additional child ionised is a bonus!

Phlegm/Sputum - the only thing that gets me is this, worst scenario when I had to collect sputum pots as a student on a ward, and you could feel it slopping against the side of the pots grin

lilac26 Tue 08-Oct-13 21:43:20

I am a nurse. When handling patients after they have died I talk to them, explaining what I am doing and why just the same as I did when they were alive. Also take the same care when moving or dressing them.
Sorry for your loss x

RevoltingPeasant Tue 08-Oct-13 21:44:20

University lecturer - mature students are normally great in terms of their work ethic. Actually they tend to be quite nervous and self-deprecating, always explaining how they've returned to higher ed. Honestly no, don't find them intimidating at all, and I've taught people of my parents' age. They bring great life experience.

Anaesthetists why do you have to take nail polish off before an op? I've never understood how that could make a difference!

cls77 Tue 08-Oct-13 21:44:44


Crutchlow35 Tue 08-Oct-13 21:45:10

Estate Agents -
When an Estate agent values your house, gushes about how fab it is and how crazy you are to want to sell it, says they would dearly love to market it, and that they have swarms of people waiting to view and then two weeks later you have had no viewings at all do you think that we may have just fallen for a sales pitch and have no chance of selling it?

We are completely honest. If that loses us business then so be it. There are so few places that will still have swarms of viewers these days. My staff are not allowed to fabricate, lie or make stuff up. Complete honestly is our focus. It works for us and we have good clients who come to the market with full knowledge.

The threads on property about agents horrify me.

RevoltingPeasant Tue 08-Oct-13 21:48:09

I asked for this to go to Classics - let's see!!

ChocChaffinch Tue 08-Oct-13 21:50:40

people at greggs /bakers - do you get to eat the leftovers? as baked goods generally only last a day? do you have to pay? what if all 3 of you want the last cream bun?
and therefore do you get cross with late-in customers snaffling the last doughnuts?

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 21:51:33

My friends have asked me this and variations on the theme before and while I see why they are interested I don't answer, I couldn't offer new parents' experiences up as entertainment (really not meaning to sound stuck up!). But the truth is that I can never think of anything because no question seem daft to me when you are in the moment of caring for the family. If it's of enough concern that they've asked, it's important to me too and might give me wider information. If it sounds really daft I have invariable misheard!

boo, boring!

(actually you sound lovely, and I don't feel so bad about the daft stuff I have asked now blush)

Ooooooh I might know that one Revolting - it's something to do with the doodah they put on your finger, it doesn't read properly or something if you're wearing nail polish. Am I right? smile

PennySillin Tue 08-Oct-13 21:54:47


I am a nurse too and like lilac I also talk to my patients after they have gone just like they are still alive and I teach students to do the same. Really sorry for your loss xx

Twiddlebum Tue 08-Oct-13 21:55:08

Danielmcspaniel.... Do receptionists phone the labs for results because they can't be arsed to look them up on the computer system of is the system really down???

CelticPromise Tue 08-Oct-13 21:55:12

Gin I'm a defence lawyer. I wouldn't refuse to defend someone, I would advise them on the strength of the evidence. If they chose to plead not guilty they'd be represented as well as possible at trial. If they told me they were guilty they would still be entitled to put the prosecution to proof. I would have to withdraw if they wanted to put evidence before the court that I knew not to be true eg to go into the witness box and tell a lie.

ChocChaffinch Tue 08-Oct-13 21:55:47

I thought the nail thing was so they could spot blue nail beds, a sign of deoxygenisation? cyanosis? possibly making that up

GinOnTwoWheels Tue 08-Oct-13 21:56:49

Choc chaffinch. I used to work in greggs a long time ago, before foot and mouth.

All the leftover cream cakes, pasties and sandwiches went to feed the pigs, which doesn't happen now.

We got 50% discount on everything and if there were any cream cakes leftover on Saturdays (didnt open on sundays them) we could take them for free grin.

Sometimes the leftovers go to a seconds/discount shop where they are sold at half price for not being quite as fresh.

Edithmark Tue 08-Oct-13 21:56:54

Revolting, I think it's because if you are oxygen deprived your fingernails go bluish so the medics need to be able to see that . When one of my DCs was very ill the des were always squeezing her big toe nail to see how quickly the blood returned after the colour had blanched away.

Anniemousse Tue 08-Oct-13 21:58:07

I'm a dentist.

I don't judge, socially, but I do notice and objectively size people up, as it were.

I am not in the least squeamish (am a Sporner type) and am not phased by the grottiest of mouths.

Genuinely nervous patients don't make my heart sink, no.

CelticPromise Tue 08-Oct-13 21:58:14

I thought the nail polish thing was because the colour under your nails can tell them stuff, do you go blue under them if you are short of oxygen or something?


ChocChaffinch Tue 08-Oct-13 21:58:49

GIN lucky pigs grin
was that an arrangement with a local farm? or your own pigs? or did all greggs go to pig farms!! ?

CelticPromise Tue 08-Oct-13 21:59:41

x posts

RetroHippy Tue 08-Oct-13 21:59:45

Pilot answer, they check important things like charts and fiddle with switches chat, drink tea and flirt with the hostesses. Pretty sure they can alternate naps too if there are two of them. Source; a relative who is a pilot, though he only did short haul. I'd imagine on long haul there would be two flight teams. He did tell me that on most flights the plane can in theory be flown for the majority of the journey on autopilot. The pilots are there for the most part to reassure people who like a 'human being' in charge.

Gunznroses Tue 08-Oct-13 22:00:46

Will nobody answer my question! <WAILS>

Oh, I might've been told a pile of nonsense then - checking for cyanosis makes far more sense!

I like the name Last Offices, I'm not sure why but it makes the whole thing seem less clinical.

Another one for pilots/cabin crew/people who travel a lot, or even who work weird hours. Does the constant changing of time zones and odd hours basically break your body clock?

PinocchiosLeftNostril Tue 08-Oct-13 22:02:19

grin i can just imagine a little piglet munching on a Gregg's sausage roll while his mum chows on a choux bun. How the other animals must have judged!

ThatVikRinA22 Tue 08-Oct-13 22:03:03

amelia - the answer to your Q is yes! in my force we go on to a response group straight from training school - so you get a bit of everything, jack of all trades and master of none!

but it is very varied. ive been to murders, suicides, sudden deaths, car accidents, child abusers, drug dens, cannabis set ups, burglaries, robberies, arsons, fail to stops, sieges, fire arms incidents, serious assaults, as well as the run of the mill stuff like shoplifters, assaults, criminal damages and the dreaded public order on a fri/sat night.

in our force you do the first 2 years on response and then in theory you can specialise - but that said - A) i like the variety in response and B) its quite hard to specialise at present with the current climate of cut backs - we lost 500 cops this year and they havent been replaced, so the pressure is on. It can be stressful. Even getting attachments to other departments like traffic or DV unit is hard because we are so short of numbers you cant really be spared. But i get to drive a car fast with blues and twos, its exciting at times, stressful at times, and sometimes you see things you wish you could unsee. Its taken me a while to find my feet - longer than most i think, but im now settled and pretty fearless, it used to bother me that we are mostly single crewed (we work alone, so being first on the scene of a major traffic collision or first at a pub fight can be quite hairy!) but now i find i am often single crewed even at night, it doesnt bother me any more. You are very much your own boss. You just squeeze in your own enquiries in between responding to incidents. There are always people to ask, and back up will come if it really goes tits up.

im quite happy on response for now. One day i would like to specialise, but the more experience you get the better for when that day comes.

HomeEcoGnomist Tue 08-Oct-13 22:03:26

Revolting - I was told that it's because the colour of your nail bed can be an indicator of something (sorry, a bit vague, but I did ask after my EMCS 6.5 years ago!)

Banking bonuses - there will be a bonus pool determined each year by most senior management. People's performance/results will be reviewed and then a share of that pool gets allocated to them. There is a comparison between people who are deemed to be peers - if a bank works towards 'total compensation' then if someone has a higher base salary, their bonus will be adjusted so TC is the same. erm, that's about as scientific as it gets. There are various market surveys out there supposedly telling you who is paying what so you can keep up with/exceed the competition.

That's my experience anyway

CelticPromise Tue 08-Oct-13 22:04:21

Gunz your question has never occured to me before but now I want to know too!

PinocchiosLeftNostril Tue 08-Oct-13 22:05:50

Very interesting re nail polish. So what happens again in the case of emergency operations? Is the polish just left on, or do medical staff always keep nail polish remover close to hand?

mignonette Tue 08-Oct-13 22:06:31

Gunz Caring for MI patients who are menstruating can have its challenges. Not all patients are capable of or care about using sanitary protection if they have a psychosis or are manic. I don't like to say too much because it feels a little intrusive of them but I have had to try to persuade patients to let me put a pad on.

RE other illnesses/surgery, sometimes the Heparin given post operatively can cause problems w/ menstruation and flow. I have seen patients complain of their periods being 'brought on' because of the shock of surgery or sdministration of Heparin. I have also seen patients who have cessation of periods because of illness. I have had to place pads on patients who are unable to do it themselves through being off their legs and have washed them down when their periods have started. Baby wipes are a good, discreet and efficient thing to use.

GinOnTwoWheels Tue 08-Oct-13 22:06:48

Choc I suspect it was a national/regional arrangement, we just had to put the leftovers in different trays and the drivers would collect them overnight.

I didn't have my own pigs. We did occasionally discuss whether it was strange/unethical to feed ham sandwiches and greggs famous sausage rolls to pigs. Didn't realise we were contributing to a huge farming disaster. sad

The nail varnish thing is because the pulse oxometer (peg on finger) does not work very well through nail varnish, this makes your oxygen saturation difficult to monitor which is a problem. It can be monitored on earlobes or toes too.

Gunznroses Tue 08-Oct-13 22:10:09

Mignonette- thanks very much for answering my question, and I take my hat off to you and your whole profession!

ladygoingGaga Tue 08-Oct-13 22:10:24

Been a copper for a long time, so ask away, nothing shocks me anymore.
Work in neighbourhood policing now.

Estate agents - do you get fake customers round to view houses to keep sellers thinking you are doing a good job??

PinocchiosLeftNostril Tue 08-Oct-13 22:11:19

Gunz I've just had to Google for some info because your question got me wondering, too. Apparently the menstrual cycle does indeed carry on as normal when in a coma. In fact, there was a horrific case reported in NY Times when a woman became pregnant whilst in a coma. sad Nurses use extra-absorbent pads on inpatients and are sure to change them more often during their periods. And in some cases, doctors prescribe hormone drugs to stop periods temporarily, but this isn't done often as it might cause more harm than good.

(this info is from Google, but would love a nurse/doctor to confirm it).

PinocchiosLeftNostril Tue 08-Oct-13 22:12:06

Massive x-post! blush

mignonette Tue 08-Oct-13 22:13:49

I've never come across hormone treatment to stop MP's in patients but then it is not my area of speciality. Interesting idea.

Itstartshere Tue 08-Oct-13 22:13:52

Am I the only one saddened by hearing there are anaesthetists who 'really hate fat people?'

I would like to ask doctors/dentists/vets when you start feel confident about treating patients. Does it take years? I know it's a gradual process of being let loose on people alone but still, I'd be terrified!

PinocchiosLeftNostril Tue 08-Oct-13 22:15:00

It's probably not even true, mignonette. I found it on a Yahoo Google site blush

mignonette Tue 08-Oct-13 22:15:26

I think it is more a case of Anaesthetists finding the induction and monitoring of obese patients a bit nerve racking. It is riskier.

AndThatsWhatIThinkOfYou Tue 08-Oct-13 22:16:17

anyone work in the Secret Service? does it exist? Stretchers any juicy secrets?

<obviously won't get an answer but I do wonder>

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 22:16:29

dad has been cabin crew my whole life on long haul flights. He has no body clock, I mean it. He just sleeps whenever whereever

AndThatsWhatIThinkOfYou Tue 08-Oct-13 22:16:35

*any secrets

Gunznroses Tue 08-Oct-13 22:17:22

Pinnochio- thank you very much, its all very interesting isn't it? Its just always been on my mind, it all sounds......well grim! Bad enough dealing with your own periods but having to manage the periods of multiple patients.....whose flow is heavy/light? when is it time to change pads etc, the accidents, stains from immobility, additional sheet changes...Only a saint could do it, well a NURSE infact!

Theincidental Tue 08-Oct-13 22:19:28


I was a lifeguard years ago.

Yes, I saved a few people and sadly also had one death. It was always alarming, but the training just kicks in and overrides. It was only awhile after an incident that I'd reflect.

I did tell people off for heavy petting! It used to happen frequently at one pool I worked at because it was on a training base for young soldiers...

And yes, I loathed fun hours with I flatables because the risk of a. Accident was much higher a d the pool visibility was worse. Pulled a few children out from under large inflatables. Rowdy kids were just asked to leave, so not really the problem.

Chibbs Tue 08-Oct-13 22:19:38


AndThatsWhatIThinkOfYou Tue 08-Oct-13 22:19:44

nurses and healthcare assistant are not appreciated as much as they should be imo

hellsbells76 Tue 08-Oct-13 22:20:12

Yes we keep acetone in our EMCS box (also comes in handy when you turn up to shift having forgotten to remove your own nail polish to avoid the wrath of Matron smile )

ameliameerkat Tue 08-Oct-13 22:20:20

Thanks VicarInaTutu Being on your own at incidents sounds really scary. Hats off to all police for what you do!

mignonette Tue 08-Oct-13 22:21:59

I am a tad revolted by my own menstruation and hate talking about it but patients and their MP's have never invoked the same reaction. I am aware though that they are usually mortified when cognizant of what is going on so i never say the old chestnut "Oh don't worry, I've done this loads of times before" because a patient doesn't care how many times you have seen it. They only care that they are embarrassed. I do feel for them.

sad that no-one wants to know about science.

tillyo Tue 08-Oct-13 22:22:02

I work in insurance for the armed forces, so can answer a question about either. Also did a long time in banking.

Forgot who asked but yes staff are paid big bonus depending on how well they do at sales / referrals in my last bank we even got bonus on customer service. I took home about 1800 every quarter in bonus. My manager used to get between 15/20k bonus per quater.

Waves to TheAccidentalExhibitionist

The only baby's feet I love is my own DS (though now my PFB is nearly 14, I don't see his hobbity feet)

Ulcers/Necrosis/InGrown Toenails/ Bone - bring it on.

If a patient comes in with the most terrible imaginable feet it's far more of a Professional Challenge and the results are far greater.

The ones which I'm a bit hmm of are the "Well I get nothing else for free so I'm claiming this" type.
When there's nothing Podiatry related wrong with them
But as we're a high risk service , they are usually triaged, care-planned and discharged.
We have plenty of people who do need our help.

Most anaesthetists I have worked with have been absolutely lovely and really kind to patients. There's a real knack to making people feel safe before going to sleep.

ggirl Tue 08-Oct-13 22:23:43

twiddlebum why are labs so strict about INR samples being filled up fully?
do you ever say the bottle wasn't labelled properly when actually you lost/dropped it?

Geraldine the anaesthetist I had when I was 14 and having a squint corrected made sure my mum was the last person I saw as I went under, and the first I saw as I was coming round smile

I do have a question for physios OT's, SLTs and anyone who can be involved in someone's care for a long time. How does it feel when you see them make real progress and you know you've been a part of it?

IDoAllMyOwnStunts Tue 08-Oct-13 22:28:41

For those asking why gynaecologists go into that specialism, I have just had a gynie op, was awake throughout as opted for a spinal block so was talking to the gynie surgeon/consultant as he operated. I asked him why he'd chosen that path and he said that from a scientific point of view the female reproductive system is fascinating, much so more than heart, brain etc. Not sure what answer I was expecting but there again he's unlikely to say its cos he loves looking at fannys all day is he ��

eurochick Tue 08-Oct-13 22:29:11

"I have a question for solicitors - do you ever refuse to defend a client because they were caught red handed and there is no way that you can argue that they didn't do it?"

I'm a lawyer although not in the criminal field, but I can answer this as I went through it in my training.

If the client wants to plead not guilty it doesn't matter whether you think he/she did it, you can enter the plea for them and defend them based on the information they give you. You are not the judge and jury - they would be pointless if all lawyers refused to represent people they suspected were guilty. You have to believe that justice will be done, and if you can see through what you believe to be the client's lies, the magistrates or jury will too.

However, if the client says "look right, I did it but want to plead not guilty" you would need to withdraw from the case if you were unable to convince them to plead guilty. They would need to engage another lawyer and figure out that they need to not do the same thing with the new lawyer!

So you can't put forward a defence you know to be untrue, but you don't do the judge and jury's job and refuse to represent someone because you think they are guilty as sin.

Icelollycraving Tue 08-Oct-13 22:30:00

The anaesthetist when I had ds was lovely. Firstly I was off my face on gas & air & the poor sod was stopped every time he was trying to do the epidural by me leaning back with a winning smile blush
Secondly when I had emcs,he was very reassuring & listened when I freaked out because I could feel all the tugging & it was painful. He knocked me out at my request. I did feel guilty about not being awake for ds birth.
He was very kind (I am overweight & was under consultant care).

RevoltingPeasant Tue 08-Oct-13 22:30:19

OP the thing about the woman in a coma becoming pregnant is I am 99% sure true - I grew up in the US and remember a case like that on the news. She was raped by an orderly or something.

gingertessa Tue 08-Oct-13 22:30:52

Pathologist here; decided that's what I wanted to do before I even got to medical school. I only did a year of treating living people so I never really felt confident about it and I hated cardiac arrests so would have been useless in A&E. As there has been a lot of talk of coping with bodily fluids I will add that poo is the worst for me. Even wearing two pairs of gloves and thorough washing I can still smell it (or think I can smell it) on my hands so I carry round a little tube of hand scrub and moisturiser. Autopsies have an additional set of odours and fluids all if their own which you just get used to.

Really interesting thread, thanks!

RevoltingPeasant Tue 08-Oct-13 22:32:57

Oooooh ginger how interesting! Have you ever found anything really weird in someone's tummy or anything like that?


LoganMummy Tue 08-Oct-13 22:34:04

I've always wondered if a vet judges you if you can't afford the treatment needed for your pet.

Icelollycraving Tue 08-Oct-13 22:36:27

My post reads like two seperate occasions,they weren't.

Bumpotato Tue 08-Oct-13 22:39:04

dentists how often do you get bitten? Er, by an adult patient?

Much to my shame I accidentally bit my fabulous dentist last appointment and I'm scared to go back . The kids need check ups, I need to face her again.

I cringe every time I think about it.

Wigeon Tue 08-Oct-13 22:41:40

Andthatswhat - the secret service does exist - it's called the Security Service (MI5). They even have a website, and you can apply for jobs there! The James Bond one is the Secret Intelligence Servic (MI6), which deals with foreign spying. And most people there aren't sneaking around in dark glasses, but are sitting at desks doing analysis type stuff.

Any questions for a civil servant (central govt / Parliament)? And no, I don't work for the security service!

mignonette Tue 08-Oct-13 22:42:38

Ginger I really envy your profession. I attended a day of PM's during my training and it was indispensable, enabling me to truly understand physiology and anatomy. Fascinating and the Path was so respectful and knowledgeable.

moggiek Tue 08-Oct-13 22:43:23

Re surgeons. I was quite alarmed a few years ago when my surgeon told me my op would take seven hours. What if he needed toilet/coffee/fag? He explained that he would open me up and take out the nasty bit, then the anaesthetist would have the job of keeping me ticking over while he went for a tea and a sandwich. I suppose it was just an ordinary day at work for him smile

Theincidental Tue 08-Oct-13 22:44:23


How do you feel if you have to work on a policy you absolutely don't believe in?

gingertessa Tue 08-Oct-13 22:45:00

Revolting, I think the weirdest thing I've ever found inside someone was several twenty pound notes in a plastic bag in the vagina

I'm a transport planner for a local council. Not expecting many questions☺️...

Another question relating to my recent loss then ginger - can you tell someone has had a pm once they've been prepared by the funeral director or whoever it is that does that, before the family sees them?

My granddad had one and I'm a bit nervous about going to see him, but am nervous about that in general tbh.

Foster Carers- how do you look after a child or baby in your home and not fall madly in love with them?
How do you come to terms with them going onto an adoptive home or back to their parents. Especially if there have been issues at home.

How do you stop yourself from thinking "I wish they could stay with us forever"

mignonette Tue 08-Oct-13 22:48:20

I have one for you Ethel

Who decides where the traffic bumps go? Do you have 'your' bumps that you feel a sense of ownership over? What are the different criteria for chicanes/bumps/ other calming measures?

ImABadGirl Tue 08-Oct-13 22:48:33

ginger, I'm doing a biology degree and have the chance to watch a PM, will it help my studies?

Waferthinmint Tue 08-Oct-13 22:48:53

Counsellors/psychologists: do you find your clients boring and irritating when all they talk about is how bad they feel?

mignonette Tue 08-Oct-13 22:50:37

Ginger I'd imagine (sadly) that the safest place to hide money from a Pimp/potential thief/John would be inside ones Vagina. That is kind of what I imagined when I read your post although i don't expect you to give away private information.

PinocchiosLeftNostril Tue 08-Oct-13 22:52:21

Bowling alley staff - Do you judge a group of adults with no kids present when they ask for you to put up the side bars?

Cinema staff - Do you judge when a group of adults with no kids present go and see a 'kids' film?

Vintagecakeisstillnice Tue 08-Oct-13 22:52:34

Re: talking to patients who have died, a nurse is the last thing you can do for that person and is a privilege.

Periods, not a bother, pads and a change each time you turn them, ever 4 hours.

Kiwiinkits Tue 08-Oct-13 22:53:07

Store owners, do you feel comfortable when a kid comes in and buys all manner of shit food? Energy drinks? Sweets? Crisps? What do you do if they are there with their parent and the parent obviously buying this stuff for the kid to take as 'lunch' for school?

Kiwiinkits Tue 08-Oct-13 22:56:43

Vets: do cats and dogs have periods? This is something I've always wanted to know. I imagine they do but I've never noticed it on my pets....

ImABadGirl Tue 08-Oct-13 22:57:28

vintage what do you mean by 'turn them'? sorry if that's a thick question

Wigeon Tue 08-Oct-13 22:58:36

Theincidental - well, most government policies / jobs are not on top controversial subjects for a start. You choose what policy areas you work on, so you are unlikely to suddenly find yourself working on something you passionately hate. And in general, I think it's rely important for any government, of whatever political colour, to have high quality, evidence-based policy advice, which is what I provide, and then it's up to the democratically elected politicians to decide what to do with it.

Wigeon Tue 08-Oct-13 23:02:01

I have worked for both the previous Labour administration and the current Tory -Lib Dem coalition, despite having only voted for one of them. I do have political views, but it is surprisingly easy not to talk about them at work - everyone IME takes the duty to be politically neutral seriously.

gingertessa Tue 08-Oct-13 23:02:15

Lollipop the main incision from a post mortem is concealed by the shroud, so don't worry. The only noticeable thing would be if the person didn't have hair then the scalp incision would be visible. But the mortuary technicians are fantastic at making people look their best. Sorry for your loss; I saw my granddad in the chapel after he died and I'm glad I got the opportunity to say goodbye.

I'mabadgirl yes definitely see a PM, most people find it fascinating and I've only had the odd one faint or have to leave.

Mignonette thank you for your kind words re the profession smile

Pascha Tue 08-Oct-13 23:02:47

Twiddlebum Tue 08-Oct-13 21:55:08
Danielmcspaniel.... Do receptionists phone the labs for results because they can't be arsed to look them up on the computer system of is the system really down???

Time taken to look up results on the system: 5 seconds
Time needed to ring the lab: 5 minutes

We only ring the lab if the result isn't there to see on the system. Its too faffy and the phone in the lab often just rings out.

Wigeon Tue 08-Oct-13 23:03:05

I have worked for both the previous Labour administration and the current Tory -Lib Dem coalition, despite having only voted for one of them. I do have political views, but it is surprisingly easy not to talk about them at work - everyone IME takes the duty to be politically neutral seriously.

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 23:05:51

ginger what do you think of the pedestrianisation of norwich city centre?

MajesticWhine Tue 08-Oct-13 23:07:33

Waferthinmint - I can answer your question. No I never find clients boring. It can be frustrating if they don't want to get better but never boring.

joanofarchitrave Tue 08-Oct-13 23:08:53

who asked about therapists involved in care for a long time? That's me, although it has to be said I do acute care at the moment, but have done more long-term stuff in the recent past. I always say to the patient that they have done it, not me - and that's how it is - I feel admiring, if anything, because I know what I ask them to do is not easy (I'd hate to do it myself). However, I do know that if things have changed, I have been there at the right time, saying something that clicked and giving some advice that has been helpful - and that feels f***ing GREAT if I'm honest, absolutely addictive (retrained in midlife after decades of jobs that made no difference to anything). I particularly love working with families - the relief in their voices/on their faces just to understand what's going on, whether you can actually help or not.

Dermatology nurses - are you sporners? isn't it the best job in the world? do you have to do a lot of easing enormous whiteheads gently to a conclusion?

Dillytante Tue 08-Oct-13 23:14:58

Uni lecturers: do you hate mature students who ask lots of questions? When I was an undergrad I did but now I am one! Distance learning though.

mojojomo Tue 08-Oct-13 23:17:16


How clean do you expect a person's hair to be? Let's say I phone for an appointment and am offered a cancellation so you've a space today. Should I say no if my hair's not very clean? (my hairdresser advises I wash it twice a week so I could be on day 3.)

ProphetOfDoom Tue 08-Oct-13 23:17:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 23:17:55

that was to ethel! [joke passed emotion]

to ginger though, any slebs?

MurderOfBanshees Tue 08-Oct-13 23:18:19

This thread is really interesting, lots of stuff I'd never thought of.

Only thing I can contribute is if anyone wants to know about working in a high street photographic lab?

Ginger, have you read any patricia cornwell books and do they drive you absolutely insane?

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 23:20:35

murder dirty pics?! Pre digital I imagine though...

mignonette Tue 08-Oct-13 23:22:00

Murder What is the weirdest photo that you have processed? Do people deliberately send film in to be processed for the kick of knowing you and your colleagues will see it?

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Tue 08-Oct-13 23:22:37

Fascinating thread smile

My question (well, the first one anyway) why would anyone want to be a dentist?? (other than the money of course!!)

PS: Thank you to all of you who answered the various 'post death' questions. I did want to know the answers, but didn't want to ask the questions incase I didn't like the answers but very happy with them when I had very little choice but to read them x

catslave Tue 08-Oct-13 23:26:38

For whoever asked whether checkout assistants played Ready Steady Cook with the contents of baskets... I was behind a woman tonight buying six bottles of gin and three fresh chickens grin.

MurderOfBanshees Tue 08-Oct-13 23:26:52

So so many. The worst were always on rolls of film brought in by rugby players. It was only about 7 years ago, so we printed digital too. A lot of people didn't seem to realise that the machines were manned.

Worst/most amusing one was just after I'd started at a new store, had a disposable camera that the customer had paid to be hand processed - which meant I had to go photo by photo correcting colour/contrast/etc - and the whole roll was of people sticking the camera down their underwear and taking photos. Once I'd finished correcting you could see the veins on the penis in all their glory shock. What made it so funny was when one of the staff approached me later and asked if I'd dev'd that camera and had I seen the picture of them. Turns out that was their friend and there'd been another camera with no genital shots. For a horrible moment I thought I'd seen this guys dick before learning his name!

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 23:29:58

urgh hmm

what do the rugby players do with the photos confused

MurderOfBanshees Tue 08-Oct-13 23:30:25

mignonette Hmm.. weirdest was a guy who used to bring in the same 4 photos every week, get them scanned and reprinted. Then repeat. You couldn't make out what the images were they'd been reproduced so many times. That was always a mystery.

And yes, I'm pretty certain that some people sent in dirty stuff just because they knew someone would see it. We actually noticed a difference in how many dirty images were sent through when I was working compared to when my male assistant was manning the lab. Had a few try to use their photos as a way of trying to chat me up <gags>

mignonette Tue 08-Oct-13 23:30:25

That was so much worse than what I imagined Murder grin

TeaAndCakeOrDeath Tue 08-Oct-13 23:31:07

Some really interesting questions and answers! I'm a youth worker/centre manager, doubt I'll be asked anything!

MurderOfBanshees Tue 08-Oct-13 23:31:51

unfortunate The most memorable rugby image was the one of the guy passed out drunk, his friends had given him a "makeover" with loads of red lippy, posed him with his legs open, and his ballsack carefully arranged either side of a pair of lacy knickers. I shared that particular trauma with all my coworkers grin

NotDead Tue 08-Oct-13 23:33:07

Counsellors do you ever think 'for fucks sake we've gone over this a hundred times just fucking call him/get a job/go for a fucking walk/stop whinging/leave your job

but never say it and carry on taking the money grin

mignonette Tue 08-Oct-13 23:33:23

Tea Well actually I was wondering what kind of activities you offer because I imagine you must face some stiff competition from online gaming and house based activities.

How do your young clients hear about your centre?

mignonette Tue 08-Oct-13 23:34:36

Oh my dear Christ Murder grin

IsleOfRight Tue 08-Oct-13 23:34:53

Marking place

Szeli Tue 08-Oct-13 23:37:23

pinoccio RE bowling alley, didnt judge but would banter about it - especially if they made daft excuses about it

mojo if you're going for a cut and blow it will be eased anyway, 3 days isn't terrible

chipping if I had my time again I'd love to be a dentist. It's a link to the beauty industry, you can work for yourself, teeth fascinate me

For the record I am a media makeup artist also doing spray tans/nails/lashes but I have also worked in a bowling alley, in bars and clubs, for the police in a civvy role, as a receptionist.... Plus other bits. I also work as festival crew

MurderOfBanshees Tue 08-Oct-13 23:37:32

mign I was only there 2 and a bit years, and yet I have sooo many stories.

NotDead Tue 08-Oct-13 23:37:51

'creative educationalist' do you ever want to say 'arrrrgh that high-voice cod street paranoia dubstep track is AWFUL.. ' and/or is it your fault that the other outcome ends up being emo wailing...

Or more do you manage musicians wanting to do a music style that the candidates style skills and look doesn't suit. . do you influence them or just sigh and carry on...

3boys3dogshelp Tue 08-Oct-13 23:50:22

Sorry I forgot who asked these now.

How long does it take to feel confident after training?
I think this really varies between individuals. I've been graduated over 10 years and still have some some operations that I worry about despite being completely competent at them. I suppose it took about 12 months to be able to sleep properly if I was the vet on call!
Otoh my dp (also a vet) was very confident very quickly.

Do dogs have periods?
They have a season every 6-12 months if not speyed and do bleed for about a week. The amount of discharge varies between dogs.

Do I like all animals?
I love my job, I genuinely like almost all of my patients. Most aggressive ones are just terrified. I volunteered at a zoo as a student and I really hated the camels!! They used to creep up on you when you had your back turned! Luckily I've never had to treat one though.

Do I judge owners who can't pay for their animals treatment?
That's a really hard one to answer. For the huge majority definitely not. A lot of bills people get for major operations I would seriously struggle to cover. People's circumstances change over the course of their pet's life and we do understand that and try to help as much as we can.
It sometimes upsets me when I can't do as good a job as I would like for the patient due to finance.
I judge a bit if owners have just recently taken a pet on and the first thing they ask me is what charity help they can get hmm.

motherstongue Tue 08-Oct-13 23:54:37

I work for a funeral director. Lollipop - I can assure you an undertaker would advise you not to view your loved one if they thought the signs of a PM were evident. I'm sorry for your loss. Please don't feel concerned about seeing your loved one, it can be therapeutic to see them especially if they have been ill as they look at peace. (I know that sounds corny but it is true).

Re the question up thread about undertakers living for the moment, I think we are just like everyone else really except we talk about death an awful lot more. It is also not a morbid place to work, I love dealing with the families and find the families feel very comfortable talking to us in a very normal fashion because everyone else around them are kind of walking on egg shells so it is nice to feel normal in the most abnormal circumstances iykwim.

anaesthetists hate fat people
I have never heard any of my anaesthetists say that, and I work in a recovery unit with hundreds of them.
Obesity causes many problems throughout surgical care, the main ones being difficulties in placing epidural or localised nerve blocks, airway management and adjusting dosing of drugs.
I find patients with very large necks to be difficult to deal with in that the weight of the neck fat can obstruct the patients airway.
Patients I have cared for after having weight loss surgery often suffer from obstructive sleep apnoea (blockage of the airway, often from the tongue, causing a patient to momentarily stop breathing), and an anaesthetic can increase the risk of this and cause oxygenation problems. Pain medication such as morphine can also decrease respiratory effort and increase apnoeas.
Obesity and excess fat around surgical sites can increase healing times and the likelyhood of complications such as infection or hernias.

Nail polish on (elective) patients gives me the rage, especially dark, multi layered or even acrylic nails, because it is sooooo important to monitor oxygen saturations post op.

And every nurse I know treats a deceased patient in exactly the same manner as a living one, talking to them and taking every care, giving them the respect and dignity they deserve.

Now those of you that work in childcare and have your own children at home...... how?!?

unfortunatedischarge Tue 08-Oct-13 23:58:37

mothers is it true that funeral services don't charge for children?

Also are there many women n your profession?

3boys3dogshelp Tue 08-Oct-13 23:59:28

Ooh I temper in a photo shop as a student, soo many dirty pictures! We had one whole roll which was pretty much pornographic and the woman sent her teenage SON in to collect them! He must have been about 13 or 14. We had to show the customer a couple of the photos before we left to confirm we were giving out the right envelope. His response was 'no they're not my mum's, oh wait they are, oh no!' followed by blushing, silence and tumbleweed rolling across the shop...

unfortunatedischarge Wed 09-Oct-13 00:00:14

* I ask because when searching for funeral homes before I noticed very few women. Wonder if its that women dont do the job or just dont own the places so arent on the websites.

MurderOfBanshees Wed 09-Oct-13 00:01:23

3boys I nearly spat my drink out at that! Luckily our store never showed the photos grin

3boys3dogshelp Wed 09-Oct-13 00:01:47


TheLabradoodlesAunt Wed 09-Oct-13 00:03:16

I'm a diplomat, if anyone wants to ask me anything. smile

unfortunatedischarge Wed 09-Oct-13 00:05:15

labrador do you ever bother to go speed limit?

motherstongue Wed 09-Oct-13 00:05:40

Unfortunatedischarge - we don't charge for our services for a child's funeral but some charges are necessary like the coffin and any limos. I'm in Scotland and none of our local authorities charge for the opening of a lair but will charge for the purchase of the lair.

With regards women in the industry, I can only give my own impression of this as I don't have any statistics but yes there are women in the industry but it is still very male dominated.

IsleOfRight Wed 09-Oct-13 00:07:41

I am a uni lecturer. Love mature students generally. Am thrilled to see someone changing their life particularly thrilled if they were a teen mum coming back to education in 30s or 40s. Love any student who asks questions.

Yani Wed 09-Oct-13 00:09:34

I'm a SAHM...any questions grin

unfortunatedischarge Wed 09-Oct-13 00:10:34

thanks mother for answering, that's very kind about dropping the fees

Yani Wed 09-Oct-13 00:10:52


Vintagecakeisstillnice Wed 09-Oct-13 00:13:23

Imabadgirl, bad turn of phrase there.

By turn, I mean change their position, normally by turning them from one side to the other in order to prevent pressure sores.

Pressure sores are exactly what they sound like, wounds caused by pressure. Think about sitting on a horrible plastic chair and getting a numb bum, you twitch, shift, wriggle, or get up and move. Imagine if you couldn't?
So every few hours ( when I was nursing things may have changed) you and a partner went and turned/ moved each immobile patient.

And yes even if the patient was immobile and non vocal you explained everything you were going to do BEFORE you did it.

IsleOfRight Wed 09-Oct-13 00:13:25

I have two questions:

Anglican vicars - do you really believe in God?

Lawyers - do you make the work last longer so you can charge more?

IsleOfRight Wed 09-Oct-13 00:14:46

Thelabradoodlesaunt - do you like Ferrero Rocher?

motherstongue Wed 09-Oct-13 00:17:59

Unfortunatedischarge - no parent expects to deal with the death of a child. There are no life assurance policies for children. When a family finds themselves in this horrific situation you just want to help them get through the formalities as best you can. It is our way of giving back to the community who use our services at other times.

TheLabradoodlesAunt Wed 09-Oct-13 00:21:44

IsleofRight - no my tastes are not that plebeian. My chocolate of choice would be Mary's, followed by Pierre Marcolini or Neuhaus, in that order. The only diplomat I've known to have a tower of Ferrero Rocher at a reception was Russian. I expect he didn't know any better.

EBearhug Wed 09-Oct-13 00:37:26

Beauticians - when you were younger, did you really think you'd grow up to be the person who removes people's pubic hair?

FannyFifer Wed 09-Oct-13 00:37:33

I'm a nurse, phlegm, vomit, poo etc no problem at all.

Love sorting out big smelly ulcers.grin

Only time I've ever gagged was when I was pregnant and put my hand in someone's ejaculate, took a sec to realise what if was, boak!

Midwives/ obgyn people- have you heard of/ dealt with a failed EMCS before, or am I every bit the freaky situation I've been led to believe? grin Does dealing with so many labours put you off having your own? Do you laugh about the daft things people say during labour (such as asking you to buy them a trombone, or believing they're competing in the Olympics)?

Counselling type people- do you ever drift off whilst someone is talking to you and just think about things like what you fancy for dinner?

IT professionals- does "have you tried switching it off and on again?" basically translate to not knowing how to fix something?

Daniel how do you manage to stay calm when people are ridiculously rude to you?

SCBU staff and childcare providers- when you ask parents to keep in touch and tell you how Little One is getting on, are you genuinely interested or just being polite?

Yoni as a SAHM do you ever get to drink a hot brew whilst the DCs are awake?

PinocchiosLeftNostril Wed 09-Oct-13 00:41:46

Beauticians - how would you react to a parent who brought their 7yo in for a leg wax? And how often does this happen? not at all inspired by another thread that's given me the rage. Nope. Definitely not

Refoca Wed 09-Oct-13 00:42:59

Diplomat...are you diplomatic outside your job, or do you find yourself saying things in the way you know you can't when doing your job?

Retailers...if I refuse your assistance and say I just want to browse, do you think I'm up to no good? Are you more likely to suspect me if I do a very fast lap of the store and exit (my lunch break is short and I know what I'm looking for and don't want to waste time if I don't spot it...but always feel 'followed' when I shop this way)

Yani Wed 09-Oct-13 00:49:42

Rarely. However I do find time for cake when they're not looking grin

Yani grin smart move on the cake front!

DickCrack Wed 09-Oct-13 00:59:47

Really interesting thread.
I am a probation officer, I worked with high risk of harm cases, mainly domestic violence and sex offenders in prison and the community, if I can answer any questions?

runawaysimba Wed 09-Oct-13 01:07:32

Sort of related to someone up thread who mentioned chatting to her surgeon during an op - I was surprised during my c section how gossipy all the staff were. I had heaps, as I was a complicated case, and it was a bit of a crowd. I found out afterwards that I'd lost a huge amount of blood and the surgeons had spent over an hour taking turns to put pressure on and I had absolutely no clue. So, two questions: are you always chatty during surgeries, and do you have some sort of code you use so as not to alarm patients?

Twiddlebum Wed 09-Oct-13 01:17:27


INR tubes are filled with a specific amount of anticoagulant and so if you under-fill the tube, the sample becomes over diluted with it so the results will be incorrect!! (You are checking for coagulation speed)

And no, we NEVER send out a result as under filled or labelled incorrectly when we have lost a sample. The booking in system is so strict (we have to have 3 points of identification on both sample and form with NO exception!) and samples rarely go missing (although this does happen) and frequently we run out of sample as for things like gold tops, the sample is spun and we only use about 1/4 of the sample or less and the analysers require a certain amount.

And re people phoning for results rather than looking up on the system.... It's a bugbear of ours as (although TBF its mainly the dr's) phone the urgent bench (where surprisingly we are trying to deal with urgent stuff!!) instead of logging onto a computer or phoning reception for non-urgent results!

TheresaMcQueen Wed 09-Oct-13 01:49:44

dick, do you find it hard to treat the people you work with (like the sex offenders or DV offenders) normally when you know the things they have done? Did it take some getting used to working with people like that?

unfortunatedischarge Wed 09-Oct-13 01:57:11

Duck what's the best way someone tried to beat a drug test?

theolddragon01876 Wed 09-Oct-13 01:58:23

Twiddlebum Im a med tech too smile. Im in the usa though

Twiddlebum Wed 09-Oct-13 03:16:42

Well hello there fellow science geek!!
It's funny how the word 'technician' over here is somewhat an insult whereas in USA its the norm!! I suppose its the whole pants/trousers thing all over! Lol

arfishy Wed 09-Oct-13 04:21:22

In answer to the 'turn it off and on again' questions for IT, it depends on the type of computer and the problem. For example, turning off and on again won't cure a virus. If a process (or program) has run out of control and is taking up all of the RAM then turning it off and on again may be the only thing to fix it.

In large business systems you generally aren't allowed to turn them off, or turning them off might cause even more harm if you don't know what you are doing (eg 12 clustered computers "servers" might have a specific shutdown order and shutting them down incorrectly might corrupt a database for example).

In terms of the type of computers, Windows PCs seem to need a reboot to keep them tidy/do post update installations while a Linux host would be pretty unhappy if you just turned it off.

ClenchingPanda Wed 09-Oct-13 05:58:44

Matilda re. obstetricians and elective sections, about 15% would chose ELCS for an uncomplicated first delivery. This rises if baby is expected to be v. large 40% if predicted to be over 9lb, 65% if over 10lb.

Re. bodily fluids, I am generally unphased by pretty much anything, but did gag a little as a house officer when an old chap presented us with a margerine tub full of sputum on a ward round.

And I know this was asked of Dermatology types, but I love lancing abscesses. So satisfying. I would video it if I could

sashh Wed 09-Oct-13 06:37:40

Surgeons! What happens if you need the loo during a long operation?

In the bit where the theatres are there are staff loos and a coffee room. If an op is scheduled to be several hours there will be a built in break, the surgeon has to take off gown and gloves and rescrub before starting again.

Something requiring many hours would probably entail a team of surgeons.

So, two questions: are you always chatty during surgeries, and do you have some sort of code you use so as not to alarm patients?

There is no code, but a particular kind of silence and looks at each other. I can tell you it is scarey when you are being operated on and you hear 'that' silence and see the looks on faces. It lasts a second at most.

I waited until they were chatty again before asking what had happened (broken needle - half stuck in me).


Are SOPOs effective? Do you think there are crimes /8 situations that should not lead to being on sex offenders' register?

I'm a teacher, but in FE so 14+ to adult including some of those courses people are sent on by the job centre. Ask away.

Nobody has any zookeeper questions?

People who do MRI scans - what happens if someone is to big for the machine? Do they ever get stuck or do you have to guess before if they will fit?

Wishuponastar011 Wed 09-Oct-13 06:58:41

I'm a nursery nurse, if anybody has any questions?!

Wish do you say "oh we really like him" about all the children or mine genuinely special? wink grin

ColinButterfly Wed 09-Oct-13 07:18:44

wish not in a 'favourites' way, but do you have days that you look forward to/particular children you look forward to coming in?

I am a university teacher & researcher. The chatty students I LOVE because they make the seminars so much more enjoyable. There's nothing worse than asking a question/setting up a discussion and getting tumbleweed or them looking anywhere else but at you. I have some groups where there are people that will chat and I really look forward to. My peeve is when no one has done the reading/prep.

Some of my modules, I teach dentist undergrads and in my research role have a lot of contact with dentists in secondary care.

The current lot of dentists are at first motivated by money & the idea of being in the medical profession. Many come from families of dentists or doctors. Some of them are quite shocked when they go out on outreach and learn how manky mouths can be and that not everyone prioritises brushing their teeth twice daily. Their views seem to change over time.

The specialists are so interesting. The orthodontists are obsessed with symmetry and love watching patients go from being unhappy with their teeth to making their teeth straight and making them happier. The paediatric dentists are all of a particular type - they all have a lovely demeanour.

I am fascinated by the breadth of work of surgeons. I met one chap who repaired cleft lips on children and performed breast enlargements.

ducklady Wed 09-Oct-13 07:22:37

Not sure if its been asked as haven't read entire thread yet, but teachers, do you really judge a child by its name???

Mrsmorton Wed 09-Oct-13 07:30:49

To answer a couple of dentist questions. I get bitten probably once a month. Only very hard about twice in my career so far.

Why would anyone want to be a dentist? So people can make offensive assumptions about how much I earn obviously. I can't think of another reason. Such as the application of science and practical skills to relieve pain and improve appearance. No. Just the offensive assumptions bit.

Wearytiger Wed 09-Oct-13 07:39:58

I'm a management consultant. Don't all rush at once!

I can tell you that I went to the hygienist after about a 20 year gap. My teeth were shocking and I was terrified. I skipped out of that room. Even a clean up and descale had improved my life 1000x. Unfortunately my dentist was shite and scared me off again but if a hygienist can do that then imagine what a good dentist can do. I wouldn't fancy the job but to sort the likes of me out would be life changing (for me!).

themonsteratemyspacebar Wed 09-Oct-13 07:44:08

I am surprised i haven't come across anyone doing my job yet. Im a carer and specialise in dementia of all kinds. Have also been a home carer too. Feel free to ask questions.
Noitsachicken - you have the job of my dreams! Do you have set animals that you only work with or do you get moved around different enclosures? And of course....what are your top 3 animals?!

IsleOfRight Wed 09-Oct-13 07:45:37

I knew someone who worked for a big mail order company who used to look up what celebrities had bought, and her mates too. Do you do this if you have that kind of job?

SunnyL Wed 09-Oct-13 07:47:08

I am that person the DM hates. I work on aid programmes dealing with climate change in Africa. [Smile]

Ive also been a shark researcher, a call centre worker, a chambermaid, a swimming teacher and a scuba diving instructor.

Ask away!

Me - Id love to know if those folks that work on the stock exchange shout instructions when they get home too.

QuarksInAPearTickle Wed 09-Oct-13 07:47:40

Loving this thread!

Teachers do you/would you like to hear what certain former pupils did in life?

I work for a firm that draws up houses and project manages renovations/builds. I mainly do the accounts side of things so checking quotes & invoices from contractors etc. I have also worked in a kilt hire shop and a tourist info call centre. Any questions?

EBearhug Wed 09-Oct-13 07:48:07

When I've wondered about why would anyone be a dentist, I've usually been thinking about having to deal with halitosis and rotting teeth and patients who never floss, however often you tell them. And don't teeth get boring? (I prefer a wide range of interests rather than specialism.) But that's mostly based on reasons why I would never have chosen it as a career, rather than why others did, and there will be plenty of people who wonder why I chose to do what I do including me most days.

VivaLeThrustBadger Wed 09-Oct-13 07:50:49

noitsachicken - I can answer part of your question. Some hospitals have a bariatric MRI scanner so if they think you're not going to fit down a normal one you have to go to a special one. The nearest one to me is 3 hours away so I don't think there's many about.

I know because I got referred to one accidently - I needed an upright MRI scan and got a letter about my apt for a bariatric one. Good job I knew what bariatric meant or I'd have been hacked off IF I'd driven all that way.

CelticPromise Wed 09-Oct-13 07:52:30

Dick how do you feel about the constant criticism of the probation service, messing about with systems, privatisation etc? And how do those of you trying to do a good job feel about the tick box jobsworths? (Have met one or two of those and also plenty of good POs)

MortifiedAdams Wed 09-Oct-13 07:56:30

I work in a Hotel if anyone has any Qs.

Mine: Bus drivers - what do you do if you need to pee whilst in the middle of your route?

Wishuponastar011 Wed 09-Oct-13 07:58:45

There's always children that u find you create a bond with better, and that's always a different child per nursery nurse smile

I've never worked with a child I didn't like, but I wouldn't tell you if I did not like your child haha

ColinButterfly Wed 09-Oct-13 07:59:41

Sorry if I offended mrsmorton - i was on about my undergrads who are very excited by money, but they would be, they are students...they definitely articulate responses like yours over time hence my comment about being keen on medicine. It is a profession I am fascinated by - the poster unthread who talked about it being allied to cosmetic and as a branch of medcine is pretty much why.

Mortified I read an interesting magazine feature recently about people who die in hotels. Does it really happen often?

Mrsmorton Wed 09-Oct-13 08:03:31

If you havea whole day of check ups then yes it can be dull. I also find gums incredibly tedious but today, for example, I'm taking teeth out this morning and this afternoon I'm doing some training as part of a disaster victim identification team where we can help the police/Interpol to ID victims of mass fatalities by looking at dental records.

Most dentists have something else to their job, they may campaign for dental contracts on behalf of their local dental committee, a bit of dento legal work, some teaching. If course some work in general practice and that's enough for them.

TeaAndCakeOrDeath Wed 09-Oct-13 08:03:50

mignonette I'm so glad I got a question!

We are open every day of the week from 9am to 10pm (community in the day and young people 8-18 years after school as well as clubs - karate/asian womens group/community football etc) and for young people we have both generic sessions and targeted sessions.

So the generic sessions have a 'open house/hang out' feel where they can access all the facilities like inside and outdoor sports spaces, table tennis, pool, air hockey, tv (usually on music channels!), games systems, tuck shop etc and we are around to facilitate activities and build relationships which helps to get them to the targeted session which we can let them know about when we know their interests.

Targeted sessions include a 'creative arts' session (dancing, poetry, art, singing, songwriting and playing instruments - we have a recording studio too), a girls group, a sports night and junior/senior nights where we look at age appropriate issues.

I co-ordinate all the youth work (write the programmes, organise/recruit/manage staff, budget, promotion etc) and lead on sessions within my specialty (sex and relationships) so I'm pretty free to do whatever I want to improve numbers of contacts - I'm on maternity atm but from the start of the year to when I went off (April) we had a weekend residential in the Lakes doing water activities, a theme park trip, a trip to a recording studio, various guest sessions including the police (anti-social behavior chat), an ex-con (drugs chat), a professional free-runner and a football at Wembly trip.

We advertise on facebook (the centre has its own page and is 'friends' with young people - also a good way to keep an eye on any potential situations to manage for example fallings out, cyber bullying, grooming etc), we do outreach work where we'll walk around the town centre trying to get them to stop being a nu science/annoying people and come into the centre, leaflets in schools and have the top hit on google for various search terms...other than that its word of mouth I think.

We do have to compete with online gaming (numbers dip a little whenever the next big game is out!) but we rely on various methods to keep numbers up - we have parental support which helps (I guess parents think its 'healthier' or more 'wholesome' to be 'playing' than stuck in front of a screen), we offer incentives in terms of trips/qualifications (mainly AQAs and first aid type ones), its relational work so kids often come in to see us and say hi, we often have sessions where they can get information that may be difficult to obtain elsewhere (sex/drugs/drink/relationship advice), its somewhere to see their mates where they wont get in complained at or moved on...

Sorry thats a massive post isnt it?! Hope I've answered what you asked!

MortifiedAdams Wed 09-Oct-13 08:11:32

Horry twice in five years across both hotels in my area (chain). its nerve wracking if we havent seen or heard from a guest who.isnt answering the door. Investigators go in twos.

GlitzPig Wed 09-Oct-13 08:14:44

I have a question for the zoo keeper! I've seen a couple of very sad stories within the last few months about animals attacking keepers when their cages were being cleaned, and wondered how that could happen-aren't there processes in place to stop the keepers and the animals being in the same place?

DanielMcSpaniel Wed 09-Oct-13 08:17:31

Daniel how do you manage to stay calm when people are ridiculously rude to you?

A deep breath, a wide smile and a sympathetic ear - even when I had no better options to offer. The ones who were being arses for other reasons than illness in themselves or family got the same treatment. I generally found that I could achieve far more that way.

IsleOfRight Wed 09-Oct-13 08:20:29

Quarks, re kilts. Do men usually go commando under their kilt? Even in winter?

mignonette Wed 09-Oct-13 08:20:38


What a fantastic answer! You run a fantastic resource and I know from my own professional experience what a source of support these youth services can be. There is not a lot to do for teenagers that costs the little money many of them have especially with rising unemployment and under employment. I used to run a Young Persons Mental Health Promotion Group in an inpatient unit years ago and would have liked to have had somebody like you in to talk to my young patients about what is out there for them.

What age are they no longer 'young enough' to come to you? Do they naturally ebb in their attendance from a particular age/stage of their lives or can there be a bit of separation anxiety when it is time to leave? (Am imagining several twenty somethings clinging onto your 'apron strings' grin).

I have a zoo keeper question. How did you get into your line of work? Has anybody ever tried to steal any of the animals? Have you ever camped out in the zoo at night to 'spy' on the animals?

DigOfTheStump Wed 09-Oct-13 08:21:26

Great thread. in the past I was a newspaper editor - ask away?

TinyTear Wed 09-Oct-13 08:23:27

Restaurant chefs... are people safe by complaining about the food or will it be sent back plus some bodily fluids?

Can't remember who asked but I work in a bank and we really don't care what people spend their money on! Only time we get a bit hmm is when people are obviously lying about activity. We get quite a lot of people taking out payday loans then coming in and pretending it's fraud to try and claim the money back from us! Doesn't occur to them that we'll investigate and find out it was them in the first place... Also judge if someone comes in pleading for credit to buy their baby nappies/milk and we can see they've spent a fortune on bingo sites in the last week. And we've no problem with lost cards as long as people come in prepared. Saying "I've lost my card, I don't know my account number and I haven't got any ID with me" isn't really much help to us!

Also used to manufacture specs and work in bars if anyone's got any questions about those!

VivaLeThrustBadger Wed 09-Oct-13 08:25:41

Thanks Mortified. I had visions of traumatised cleaners sad

DanielMcSpaniel Wed 09-Oct-13 08:27:14

SunnyL A shark researcher? Wow! Do you swim with sharks? Do they all just see you as food or are some of them quite friendly?

VivaLeThrustBadger Wed 09-Oct-13 08:27:34

Barclays were lovely to me once when on holiday I lost my card. I didn't have any ID apart from stuff like boots advantage card. I did know my account number though, she let me take lots of money out my account. I was surprised, thought they'd tell me to go away.

mignonette Wed 09-Oct-13 08:29:09

Tea I can see you said aged up to 18. Sorry. Do they want to stay longer?

Management Consultant question-

Can you tell me about your job? Are you involved in the HR side of recruitment such as head hunting?

SunnyL Wed 09-Oct-13 08:31:12

Re dead people in hotels. DH is a copper and got called out to one where they had died in the shower. Water does nasty nasty things to a body apparently. But yes people regularly die in hotels.

Apparently most cruise ships have a morgue on board it happens so regularly!

mrsharrystyles Wed 09-Oct-13 08:32:23

I'm an ex social worker if anyone wants to ask anything.

Tiredemma Wed 09-Oct-13 08:33:30

I love the dentist responses!! they are all questions I would ask!

Im a Mental Health Nurse in a Regional Secure Unit- ie nursing females who are detained under criminal sections of the mental health act (ladies who have received prison sentences/indefinite hospital orders etc) and then come to us for care and treatment.

SunnyL Wed 09-Oct-13 08:35:40

Daniel most of my sharks were baby sharks but i still managed to get bit twice! Both times my fault I must add. You never made mistakes with the big sharks.

AndYouCanDance Wed 09-Oct-13 08:36:53

I teach at a university and mature-age students are (usually) my favourite. They talk. Nothing worse than a bunch of kids who roll their eyes at me when I ask them a question.

BEAUTICIANS: Please spill the dirt on Brazilians and other waxing. Is it the worst part of your job? Do you judge? Is there waxing faux pas we should avoid?

mignonette Wed 09-Oct-13 08:37:13


Hi there- I am a CPN with a mainly Forensic caseload most of them under supervision orders. I used to work in one of the big Three.

<<<< waves at a colleague >>>>

ENormaSnob Wed 09-Oct-13 08:39:00

Pilots, cabin crew or air traffic control.

How safe is flying really?

How often are there near misses?

Glabella Wed 09-Oct-13 08:45:01

I'm a doctor, so can answer doctor related stuff. :-) Gynae is great because it is a speciality with a good range of both medicine and surgery. There are lots of problems that involve the more complex problem solving type of medicine, and there are also a wide range of surgeries to do so it's the best of both worlds.:-) In gp, I don't mind if you have googled and want to be involved and discuss things as long as you haven't massively misunderstood what you have read and won't be corrected. The only patients who really annoy me are the ones who book an emergency appointment because they have had 'a tickley throat' since yesterday. sigh

TeaAndCakeOrDeath Wed 09-Oct-13 08:47:46

mignonette thank you! Young peoples mental health is a service vastly both under funded and under appreciated, we've had a few who have needed some real help and its a minefield trying to find and access services for them whilst the workers on the 'front line' are doing the best they can...

The young people section officially ends at age 18, by then we're usually on a losing battle to drinking, partying and boys/girls! At that point you just have to hope that you've done enough work that they dont get themselves into too many stupid situations!

At 18, they are usually thinking about uni/work so I could be writing references for them but if they do want to stay involved I offer young leaders training from about 14-16 so they are trained volunteers and can help out on sessions as soon as they're 18 (and I can get a crb done for them) or they can move into the community sessions - we dont let anybody go away ever! if they dont want to smile

Tiredemma Wed 09-Oct-13 08:48:07



waving back!!

BoxHillBessy Wed 09-Oct-13 08:48:44

Re the foster carers questions, the way I explain it to people is like this...
When you were at school, in your class there were your best friends, your mates, those you liked but didn't really have much to do with and those you didn't really get on with.
I loved and cherished all the children who stayed with me but out of 28 there were two I really didn't want to let go.
I viewed my role as enabling each child to fulfil their potential. Letting them go was hard but there would be another child that needed me more.
Childcare troubleshooter here ,I work privately sorting eat, sleep and behaviour in the 0-5 year old , also ex jockey. Ask away

TheLabradoodlesAunt Wed 09-Oct-13 08:53:44

Refoca - being a diplomat doesn't mean that you are always tactful and nicey-nice to everyone. Part of being a diplomat is lobbying other countries about eg their human rights abuses. You can't, as most people seem to think, say "I'm sorry old chap, but it's really not cricket to torture ethnic minorities in your country. Be a love and give it a rest for a bit, would you?" What you do is build a rapport with someone and then deliver the message, in such a way that you hope they might think about what you have said, and if you are lucky, agree you might have a point and act on it.

TheLabradoodlesAunt Wed 09-Oct-13 08:57:33

I have a question for dentists/orthodontists: my daughter has perfect teeth apart from one small tooth at the bottom (the pointy one at the front at the side) which sits outside instead of inside her top teeth. Our orthodontist has said that this one tooth can skew the whole jaw and pull it out of line. Is he telling the truth or does he just want to fleece us of £5000, which is what he reckons it will cost to put it right?

mignonette Wed 09-Oct-13 09:11:18


When a relative of mine became ill and died abroad the local Consulate were fantastic in assisting her children (and us) in negotiating the myriad regulations surrounding repatriation of her body alongside the medical system and paperwork. You do a great job.

Gunznroses Wed 09-Oct-13 09:16:56

Another question for dentists- Is it true that "buck teeth" are caused by the person leaving their mouth open all the time causing the teeth to grow outwards instead of inline with all the others ?

ClenchingPanda Wed 09-Oct-13 09:18:23

Labradoodle I don't have any diplomat related questions but wanted to congratulate you on your impeccable taste in chocolate. We went to Pierre Marcolini's last year and it was amazing ly expensive grin

Also, re. MRI scanning for the larger patient, some hospitals have bigger scanners, but we had to send one patient to the zoo...

BillyGoatintheBuff Wed 09-Oct-13 09:24:19

This has been a fascinating read! I wish I could think of some questions!

Ireallymustbemad Wed 09-Oct-13 09:24:41

I have a question for hairdressers - are you always naffed off at the people who come for a cut but dye their own hair. Can you always tell? Does it actually make much difference if it is competently done? Is box colour actually worse for your hair?

I'm an accountant, can't imagine the questions flowing in......grin

Poledra Wed 09-Oct-13 09:30:29

IsleofRight, I know lots of men who wear kilts. And no, they don't go commando. To quote my DBro 'Would you sit on a folded woollen blanket without yer kecks on? No? Then why do you think I would?' grin

And my DH chose to wear a kilt to our wedding (he is not Scottish). He was highly amused when my mother quietly asked him not to go commando, and to tell his best man too. As it was a hired kilt, DH had no intention of not wearing his undercrackers. Though there's a question I never thought to ask him - whenever one tries on swimwear, for example, one is asked to keep one's underwear on. Did the hire shop request that they wore pants??

LadyBigtoes Wed 09-Oct-13 09:36:13

I'm a writer. Re reviews, on amazon I love five or four star, but I'm ok with bad reviews if they have a reasonable point to make. I get annoyed if they have given my book one star because the trader delivered it late etc!

I have also got the rage about reviews in magazines where it's clear the reviewer hasn't read the book properly angry

Here are my questions...

fashion people why when you see stars or models on the catwalk or red carpet, do their incredibly expensive designer dresses look like they need the hems and seams ironed and you can see little pulls where the stitching is? I would give a newly made/altered dress an iron before wearing it!

barristers how can you defend someone who has/may have done something terrible? How can barristers defending alleged paedophiles attack the victim and accuse them of making stuff up? Do they believe it themselves or is it just an act/just doing their job? I've often thought I would make a good lawyer (argumentativeness-wise smile) but that bit stumps me.

And judges and anyone else legal - you can't know that the verdict reflects the truth, in many cases, so why is the judge allowed to make a nasty speech after the verdict calling the convict evil or heartless etc.? I always feel terrible when that is on the news in case it's a wrongful conviction.

And cardboard box people why when there are easy-folding boxes available, do some things still get packed in boxes glued together like fort Knox that are a bastard to flatten for recycling? (often not things that need to be strong or even need a box at all!). Why don't companies minimise packaging wherever they can as a surely it would save them money too?

ENorma you really don't want to know. DH is in the aviation industry and watches the reports on some official website (yawn). Let's just say DH doesn't fly Air France...

A survey recently revealed that a frightening proportion of pilots have fallen asleep whilst on duty, including when autopilot is turned off, eg on final approach shock

Even more frightening was the number who reported waking up to find that the other pilot was asleep too <gulp>

QuarksInAPearTickle Wed 09-Oct-13 09:41:52

IsleofRight yes a lot of people do go commando under kilts even in winter. I have seen people have their underpants ripped off if they don't! grin

IsleOfRight Wed 09-Oct-13 09:51:35

Having just had a harrowing drop off for dd I'd like to ask the nursery nurses on this thread whether you judge parents for using nursery instead of looking after them themselves, and what you do for your own kids.

SomeKindOfDeliciousBiscuit Wed 09-Oct-13 09:53:16

I'm a sahm and have been a teacher and an EA. Crutchlow is clearly much more accommodating than me - I wouldn't do someone's washing up for them, although I have remade beds. I did have a man ring up and give me an earful about how his house had no curb appeal and the front garden was a disgrace. He was really surprised when I commended his determination to see it improved and said we'd be happy to retake his photos when he had finished working on it. He thought that was our job...

Zoo keeper questions...

I don't like do the job anymore but did for 10 years.
Most people tend to stay within their specialist area but there are usually opportunities to move about.
Top three animals...
1. Aye-Aye
2. Fruit bat
3. Pygmy Slow Loris

People getting killed by animals is usually down to human error, having the wrong door open, often there are complicated slides and gates which need to be opened in a certain order. Never happened where I worked but lots of close calls!

I volunteered as a keeper before getting the job.
And yes being in the zoo after hours or on days it was closed, like Christmas, was the best time!

Wineandchoccy Wed 09-Oct-13 09:54:20

I can't remember who asked but my DH is a postman, each round has 500 - 700 houses and takes approx 5 hours but takes longer if there are lots of parcels.

I used to be a dental nurse, loved anything gory and seeing a terrified patient relax and leave smiling when it wasn't as bad as they thought.

I am a dental sales rep now........

I don't do the job anymore, no extra like!

Poledra Wed 09-Oct-13 09:58:23

The Aye-Aye chickens? I always thought that looked like an animal that'd murder you in your sleep, just for shits'n'giggles!

No they are amazing!!
Really fascinating, so many unique characteristics and usually friendly. Being tapped by an aye-aye's magic finger is a very special thing!

And that's my hand in the photo you linked to!

IsleOfRight Wed 09-Oct-13 10:09:46

Are there any parking wardens on here? I wondered whether you do the same route and timings every day and whether you double back on yourself or if, after I see you leave street, I can then park safely for a bit.

Also police officers, what do you do if you know your friends smoke dope?

Poledra Wed 09-Oct-13 10:11:48

You are kidding! Honestly, I've just a huge grin on my face that I managed to 'find' you with the aye-aye out of all the pictures on t'internet grin

OK,I'll believe you that they are really cute and fascinating and not psychopathic little axe-murderers.

Minion Wed 09-Oct-13 10:12:39

Hostie here...
Pilots read short snippets like magazines etc (long books can lull them into boredom/sleep like trances), play on iPads, drink copious amounts of tea and coffee and do what they need to do to stay alert. They can alternate sleeping, ie 20 minute power naps, enough to keep them alert on waking without falling into a super sleep.
We come and it's nice for them as its new faces and new conversations to keep them going.

Re nervous fliers... Only the truly nervous ones get my sympaypthy. The ones who demand free drinks to calm themselves, do not....

Re body clocks... The trick is to sleep for 4 hours on landing, no more. Then struggle pathetically through till either your next night flight or bed time. Having just come back from minus 8 hours yesterday I'm good now. Travelling from east to west is always worst for me.

Re safety of air travel... Depends on how you look at it really. I've done it for 10 years and never had so much of a sniff of a problem whereas the first time in a car on a motorway another car went straight into the back of my dads... Swings and roundabouts.
You really only hear of plane crashes rarely, when you do the loss of life is so much more that it makes it looks more common than it actually is. Whereas car crashes etc are more common.
If you are looking at it from a passenger perspective, again depending on how you travel will the answer vary. If you travel first, loads of legroom, no sales etc then your experience of travel will be v v different from someone in economy, trussed up like sardines on night flights...
It's safe, but not glamorous!
In the uk at least all aircraft have to be a minimum of 1000 ft up/down/left and right of another and that's assuming the aircraft are the same size.

Any other questions for crew? I'm aware most people have no idea what our jobs entail so am happy to enlighten.

I've got one for people who work in cinemas though... Would it be possible for someone to pay for one movie and theoretically see loads by moving from one screen to another and hiding in toilets between viewings?

That little aye-aye was quite famous, she often pops up on searches!

FrillyMillylovesPollosHermanos Wed 09-Oct-13 10:14:38

To the person who works in childrens tv is that Mr Blooms real accent? If not why on earth does he speak like that? Also since childrens tv (especially Cbeebies) like to make everyone sing why don't you hire people who can actually sing?

MrsHowardRoark Wed 09-Oct-13 10:15:27

I used to work in a sex shop if any has any questions about that.

IsleOfRight Wed 09-Oct-13 10:17:50

Sorry now I've started thinking about this I have loads of questions.

Also for the children's tv person. If I have a great idea for a kids tv show (not presented by me, just have an idea) how do I sell it to a production company, and do they actually ever buy ideas?

EugenesAxe Wed 09-Oct-13 10:18:42

I am quite tactless, so the only awkward question that's ever come up on my radar as such (that I still asked, with as much sensitivity as I could muster) was to a soldier asking if he'd ever killed anyone.

MortifiedAdams Wed 09-Oct-13 10:21:49

To those who work in the art galleries and just sit in each exhibition room - how to you stop yourself from falling alseep??

MortifiedAdams Wed 09-Oct-13 10:24:26

I remember listening to Ricky Gervais on the radio talking about how he had ex SAS as a bodyguard.once (not by request!!), and they got chatting over the few days and turned out he still did the odd bit of work for them, and was also one of.only six negotiators in the state, going to hostage situations to talk down the attacker. He said snipers are trained to shoot the top lip - to prevent th attacker reacting and shooting their own weapon! shock Gervais was in utter awe.

bottleofbeer Wed 09-Oct-13 10:37:21

I was a zookeeper once.

As someone upthread said, animal attacks on keepers are human error. If you're dealing with a dangerous species they'll be locked in/out of their enclosure. For instance, if you're cleaning out a chimps enclosure they'll have an inside where they sleep and an outside where they play, they will be separated by a metal door. If you're cleaning inside they'll be locked in the outside iykwim? but it is bloody hairy when you're doing that and they're hammering on the door with their fists. They're extremely strong and dangerous (I'd take my chances with a big cat over a chimp any day) and it's very easy to believe they will get through grin.

MrsPennyapple Wed 09-Oct-13 10:44:27

I used to be a waitress, chewed food was the least of my worries. A lady once told me her little boy had done a wee on the floor. I replied "I'll fetch you a mop." In my defense, I was 17.

I used to work in a cinema, if anyone wants to know anything?

TheNaughtySausage Wed 09-Oct-13 10:53:55

Mortified, I used to work in an art gallery but in the office not as an invigilator. They were all volunteers so were too keen and interested to fall asleep! We could never have afforded to pay them, so it was great that they were willing to sit with the pictures. We paid them in coffee and cake after their shift grin because it was often a condition of the picture loan and insurance that someone was present during opening hours.

This thread is fascinating.

TunipTheUnconquerable Wed 09-Oct-13 11:04:10

I've invigilated as a volunteer in a teeny little local museum. Never fell asleep because I was too busy trying to work out when the best moment was to attempt to make the hapless visitor sign the visitors book and buy some raffle tickets (pretty much our only source of income).

GlitzPig Wed 09-Oct-13 11:05:45

shock at chimps being scarier than lions! Thanks for the answers to the zookeeper questions, I always got a bit confused as to how anyone had designed a zoo where keepers were fair game for the animals if they needed cleaning blush

Definately agree with chimps being scarier than a big cat, would happily face a big cat with a broom in my hand (keepers weapon on choice) over a chimp.

Most modern zoos are very safe, but there still needs to be someone operating the door.
I have known friends who have accidently been in with gorillas and lions, and I wandered in with a hippo once, managed to leg it before he noticed!

MortifiedAdams Wed 09-Oct-13 11:19:24

Cinema Workers were there certain screenings everyone wanted to be in - could you request certain films?

kim147 Wed 09-Oct-13 11:22:49

Clothes shop workers

What do you think when a man comes in and is buying stuff for himself but pretends its for his partner?

Does that happen often?

LauraChant Wed 09-Oct-13 11:26:42

Ooh Mortified I was an usherette in my year out. Admittedly that was 20 years ago.

We couldn't really request certain films but everyone usually got to see every film that came around since we were quite a small cinema/ team. I saw Jurassic Park 32 times. shock

We did sometimes do showings just for us, with popcorn and icecreams.

Also, sometimes nobody showed up for a screening and I got to go home for two hours (only lived round the corner). If just one person showed up we gave them glares of hatred.

MortifiedAdams Wed 09-Oct-13 11:27:32

kim this may be of interest, but a friend used to work in LaSenza, and they had an unofficial evening a week (tues if I recall), where men would.come in for the last hour and be measured or choose stuff for themselves shock!

LauraChant Wed 09-Oct-13 11:35:25

Minion we only had one screen so I can't answer that one.

But it was possible in our cinema to sneak through the fire exit at the back of the building which by law had to be unlocked (obv), come up the back stairs and sneak into the auditorium. This only worked if there were loads of people in the audience and not the five or six we often had, in which case you would stand out like a sore thumb.

LonelyGoatherd Wed 09-Oct-13 11:36:49

minion I didn't work in a cinema, but that trick works. Think record in my student days was 3 and a bit films. The key was to go mid-week and start early so that the seats weren't all booked - and it often meant missing the first or last ten minutes.
That was nearly two decades ago, btw, am v good and pay for my tickets now grin.

If anyone wants to know anything about films of the mid-90s teaching EFL/ESL, I'm your woman...

bdbfan Wed 09-Oct-13 11:37:30

Mortified: you wait! Seriously though, bus routes are generally not that long so you can usually go at one end of the route.

Coach driving is different though. I have a bladder made of steel due to long distance driving! You can drive up to 4 1/2 hrs without a break and I've been stuck in massive traffic jams while desperate for a wee. Not fun, kinda like having a potty training toddler, you go when you can whether you need to or not!

kim147 Wed 09-Oct-13 11:40:11

I'm a maths tutor. And yes - I do judge your houses which are always so much nicer than mine grin


my dad goes into Bonne Marche with my mum and pays for her clothes announcing "They're not for me"

They know him in the local shop.
But about 10 years ago we stayed in a rather erm, notorious part of Leeds (which every blighter knew was a bit hmm but didn't tell me).

I told my dad on no account trill his "Not for me" speech because they would not believe him grin

Minion Wed 09-Oct-13 11:48:47

I knew it! Brilliant.
Disclaimer.. I'm not going to do it, I always just thought 'there's no staff around I reckon it's possible'!

Ok another one for lawyers/solicitors
When you have someone in your office who you know is guilty how do you find the way round your consciousness to defend them?

superbagpuss Wed 09-Oct-13 11:49:31

I'm an accountant too, seems no questions for me

I have worked in a wide variety of industries though and find it really interesting :-)

I work in HR, so any questions feel free to ask.

Interestingly I know a man who is a doorman, and has previosuly worked at a strip club for a number of years as security, I asked him if he had a constant hard on grin but he said you become really desensitized to it, and his GF was massively pissed off as she dressed up one valentines night in stockings, high heels etc and he sighed and said it was like being back at work! blush

MortifiedAdams Wed 09-Oct-13 11:58:12

Work in TV? who is the best/worst to work with? Have you had any ridiculous demands?

bottleofbeer Wed 09-Oct-13 12:03:24

Yeah, unless a lion is hungry and/or feels threatened by you, it'll completely ignore you. Also a lot of people tut about how little space lions get in captivity compared to other cats but in the wild lions only roam to hunt, if they had a constant supply of food they'd barely move. Nor can they eat every day. Tigers would kill you, just because.

Gorillas are relatively safe but those cuddly looking chimps? they'll rip your arms off as soon as look at you. They have on average ten times the strength of a human male.

So, if you ever wondered why Michael Jackson got rid of Bubbles? once they get past the baby stage (the sweet brown faces) they're too dangerous to keep as a pet.

bottleofbeer Wed 09-Oct-13 12:08:06

I did used to love seeing people's faces as I happily walked about in the Canadian lynx enclosure grin they are big cats but very docile (think being in the same room as a big, but daft dog) the visitors didn't know that though. They must have thought I was well 'ard!

this is a fascinating thread. I'm so moved by all the people who work with those who've just died and say they talk to them/tell them what they're doing. That's lovely. I think that would be a great comfort to me if my loved one had just died.

I've worked as an art gallery invigilator too, being paid...we had to stand, not sit, so tricky to fall asleep, we used to rotate every hour so you'd move to a different part of the gallery. On busy days it was fine, as you'd have lots of people to watch; on quiet days it was soooo dull.

I'm a journalist and a playwright, if anyone has any questions about that!

GlitzPig Wed 09-Oct-13 12:15:45

Ooh, accountants! It's a judging question blush

My lovely accountant does my tax return for me, and every year I've lost receipts/don't claim for stuff I've claimed for previous years because I can't be bothered to find all the bits of paper. Will she think I'm a twat, or just not care, as it doesn't make any difference to the amount of tax owed (none, I lose money every year, so it's just a difference in the amount of loss, iykwim!)

DickCrack Wed 09-Oct-13 12:15:52

Oooh loads of questions for Probation officers! Will answer methodically...

Sassh Are SOPOs effective? Do you think there are crimes /8 situations that should not lead to being on sex offenders' register?

I don't think sopos are fantastically effective, it's more the monitoring of the sopo which helps to reduce risk. If someone has, for eg, a no Internet without saving history condition, it's the skill of the police monitoring this, frequency of attending to see case etc which makes a difference.
I have only come across one case who I thought should not be on the register, his was a drunken offence in which he touched a woman's bottom briefly, I agree it was an assault but in my assessment he was not sexually motivated and i feel placing him on the register dilutes the severity of other people's offending.

Celtic promised. Dick how do you feel about the constant criticism of the probation service, messing about with systems, privatisation etc? And how do those of you trying to do a good job feel about the tick box jobsworths? (Have met one or two of those and also plenty of good POs)

I am hugely concerned about the privatisation agenda. I do not believe there should be any element if profit driven agendas in public protection. I could write an essay in this but will leave you with the thought that under current proposals several of my cases, including a very high risk DV perpetrator, would have been supervised by group4/ whatever private company will be given the contract, and the motivation to achieve payment for his supervision may have over ridden the need to manage risk (the two will be mutually exclusive in some scenarios). I don't say that lightly, I left probation to work for a private company in a related field some years ago and this was my experience on two occasions. I had to leave, ethically I could not be part of it.
There are tick box jobs worths everywhere, there is one in the next room, it's very frustrating and a product of a target driven culture unfortunately.

Theresamcqueen. dick, do you find it hard to treat the people you work with (like the sex offenders or DV offenders) normally when you know the things they have done? Did it take some getting used to working with people like that?

Yes! I find DV perpetrators especially difficult as many of them have the same set of views and justifications, they are a strange mix of boring to work with for coming out with the same stuff all the time and yet risky. I think most of my colleagues would say the same.
Sex offenders, you always keep in mind what they have done, often there's a whole host of info and intel you have on unconvicted behaviour too. I have genuinely liked some of the cases I've worked with but even those who have completed treatment, done everything asked of them, I'd still go the opposite way from them if I saw them in tesco and I had my kids with me.

Can I ask nursery workers if you really do care for the children in a perfect, calm, loving way all the time. What do you cut if you are having an off day? What do you hope parents don't find out about what goes on?

FastWindow Wed 09-Oct-13 12:18:58

Ireallymustbemad... I have a question.
Don't you just love the number zero?
<waves at fellow accountant>

OohDoctorDarcy Wed 09-Oct-13 12:21:15

The Mr Bloom one- didn't he say its a fake accent when he came here for a webchat?

Cinemas- dh says his has someone in each screen so they'd probably notice. He saw Harry Potter 43 times over a few weeks. Worst audiences were Harry Potters and Twilights.

Don't think I've anything not covered.
Worked with horses, people with SN & in schools.

superbagpuss Wed 09-Oct-13 12:23:13

waves at accounts on thread
I love it when something balances :-)

CelticPromise Wed 09-Oct-13 12:23:20

Minion I've answered similar above, but basically I will defend anyone. Everyone is entitled to a defence. You might advise them to plead guilty and try to keep the sentence as low as possible- most people do plead guilty. You might advise them the evidence is strong, if it is, but they're still entitled to have a trial. If someone tells you they are guilty and asks you to put forward a defence you know not to be true, you are obliged to withdraw and tell them to get another lawyer. You have a duty to the court as well as the client. However you are perfectly entitled to put the prosecution to proof in those circumstances.