Well. That went well, didnt it.......

(423 Posts)

So I am looking after my friends 3 year old for the weekend.
I'd just like to point out, before I post the wonderful things that have happened since yesterday, that I do actually have children.
3 in fact.

I point that out because after reading this, you might be forgiven for thinking I have no clue about children what so ever grin

So...she arrives at 5pm. Lovely, lovely girl. Lovely mum who for some reason thinks I am trustworthy, drops her off without a fuss.

Oh dear god.

All is well for a while. We eat dinner, she eats it all up. And dessert. I am cleaning the kitchen, I turn around and she is eating the dogs food out of his bowl.
And then told me the doggies dinner is very tasty grin

We are watching tv later on and I ask my ds1 to keep an eye on her while I make a cup of tea.
I come back, she is in the dogs bed.

She wants to play hide and seek. So she hides.
Can I find her? No.
Can the DCs find her? No.

Im about to call the fucking police because clearly she has disappeared when she pops out from a bush in the garden covered head to foot in mud.

We give her a bath, got her pjs on. I go to make her a hot chocolate. I turn round and find her sitting in a cupboard. Of course, I notice she is in there the very second I shut the cupboard door. On her head.

I put her to bed on the little bed in my room.

I go to bed as well because I know if I am not sitting there looking at her, something will happen.

I wake up, an hour ago. She is asleep in the dogs bed.

She just said to me "I had so much fun auntie tantrums. I are doggies dinner, you lost me, I got very dirty and sleeped in the doggy bed. And you shut me in the cupboard"
She found it all hysterically funny.

She's going to go home and tell her mum all of that isn't she??
Is there any way at all I can put a positive spin on this??

I very doubt my friend is ever going to talk to me again, let alone trust me with her child.

Oh I forgot to mention that she has just drawn all over her face with a green felt tip.

AND I CANNOT GET IT OFF.

Agnesboo Sat 14-Sep-13 07:58:14

grin

bigTillyMint Sat 14-Sep-13 07:58:25

And you have her for the whole weekend?grin

bigTillyMint Sat 14-Sep-13 07:59:21

I bet your friend will be eternally grateful for the weekend break you are giving her - she sounds like a right handful. And adorable, of course!

Coconutty Sat 14-Sep-13 07:59:36

Nope, you're doomed! Sounds very funny to me though if that's any consolation?

Mumof3xx Sat 14-Sep-13 08:00:00

She's safe and having fun I wouldn't mind if she was mine!

shootfromthehip Sat 14-Sep-13 08:00:04

Oh brilliant, you couldn't make it up! I've had a laugh if it's any consolation!

Oh no it's not funny AT ALL.

I have her until Sunday morning.

I have no idea what else could possibly happen. I do not have enough eyes or hands.

I have removed all the dogs beds, bowls and toys from the house. The dogs are looking at me like..where am I supposed to go then?

I can't believe how stressful it is

Mumof3xx Sat 14-Sep-13 08:02:26

You will have to keep us updated on the teat of her weekend with you

Mumof3xx Sat 14-Sep-13 08:02:56

Rest not teat stupid phone

Tee2072 Sat 14-Sep-13 08:03:38

If she was mine I'd laugh my ass off and apologize for not warning you.

grin

foofooyeah Sat 14-Sep-13 08:03:40

Yes I have had a laugh too - nothing wrong with sleeping in the dogs bed!

TheFallenNinja Sat 14-Sep-13 08:03:40

You still have the dog lead though? Continue the theme :-)

Sparklingbrook Sat 14-Sep-13 08:04:26

Oh good lord I would be a wreck. I was going to say you need to take her out for the day but maybe not. grin

Good grief.

You need wine. As long as she doesn't see it first.

I properly snorted at this! Sorry Tantrums. How old are your children? Have you forgotten how wee ones can get into everything? grin

Chubfuddler Sat 14-Sep-13 08:06:36

Clearly she is a mowgli child and wishes she was being raised by wolves. She's having a whale of a time.

Chubfuddler Sat 14-Sep-13 08:07:39

Seriously why have you removed the dogs beds? Assuming the dogs don't mind her I've never met a small child yet that doesn't lie on the dogs bed given the chance.

MistyB Sat 14-Sep-13 08:08:02

Will you carry on updating the weekend goes on? She sounds like the sweetest title horror!!

Marking place for hourly updates and more adventures you do know she not going to want to do home if it help my dd at 2 would sleep in cats bed and hide in kitchen cupboards and jump out to say boo

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Sat 14-Sep-13 08:10:06

Ach. I'm vegetarian and still say 'None of that will harm her and if she was mine I'd laugh then ask you why you thought I needed a weekend away' grin

Leave the dogs bed where it normally is, wont kill her to share it with them.

When her Mum picks her up, tell her that she needs to stop reading Hansel & Grettle to her and comment on her brilliant imagination grin

In the meantime - USE the Dog Lead on the little darling!

FruOla Sat 14-Sep-13 08:10:37

Hahaha - brilliant grin

<bookmarks place for further updates>

GerardButlersSecretLover Sat 14-Sep-13 08:12:13

OP your post remind me of me at the same age! I was known as the Terror!!! You have managed to make me smile after really bad nights sleep!!

Hellonewworld Sat 14-Sep-13 08:13:28

Keep updating us! She sounds lovely, if not a tad lively wink.

SanityClause Sat 14-Sep-13 08:13:52

My DC get in the dogs bed. Well, DD1 doesn't, but DD2 (12) and DS (9) do. They've never eaten the dog's dinner, though.

MammaTJ Sat 14-Sep-13 08:13:53

Too funny.

Mum probably really needed a break. If she is upset by any of it, at leastyou won't have to have her again! grin

MikeLitoris Sat 14-Sep-13 08:15:00

She sounds just like my youngest. I'm scared to blink most of the time.

If you looked after her for a whole weekend I wouldn't care if she came back barking like a dog and covered in permanent marker.

Sounds like she is loving it staying with you.

innermuddle Sat 14-Sep-13 08:15:49

This gave me a much needed laugh!

Well, I moved the bed because she won't stay out of it.

And I was a bit worried she would go home and tell her mum I made her sleep in a dogs bed.

The dogs don't mind at, they get in with her. Again, not sure how popular an idea that will be with her mum grin

My DCs are 15,14 and 10. I had forgotten the 3 year old stage.
She wants to make a cake now.

I have decided that whatever I do it will end in some sort of disaster. So we are going to the shops and then to make cakes.
It will be a mess. She will probably eat eggshells/cover herself in flour/shut herself in a cupboard.

My friend just texted me "everything ok? How is x"

I did not reply "covered in green felt tip pen, eating dog food"
I just said "fine"

ThreeMyselfAndI Sat 14-Sep-13 08:18:57

she sounds like she's having a great time, I would find this hilarious if she was mine. you sound a wonderful friend and I am sure her mum will be so grateful.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, you'll need to sleep with one eye open grin

FrussoHathor Sat 14-Sep-13 08:20:18

And you have a weekend of this fun? Fabulous. Please keep us posted it's refreshing to know its not just my dd that's like this

ChasedByBees Sat 14-Sep-13 08:21:30

Hilarious! grin

RoadToTuapeka Sat 14-Sep-13 08:21:51

Oh no! Don't take the dog stuff away as at least you know she's likely to be in/near/on it ...otherwise who knows what else she could get into!
Very funny story!

gindrinker Sat 14-Sep-13 08:22:06

Oh bugger.
I offered to babysit any time for my friend. Her little girl is nearly two.
She's going to take up the offer when this is her!

MrsHoratioNelson Sat 14-Sep-13 08:22:36

She will go home chattering about all the lovely things she did with you and your friend won't believe a word of it. Because who would?! grin

ivykaty44 Sat 14-Sep-13 08:25:24

Her mother should have taken the lead on this and told you that her daughter was like a dog with two tails about coming to stay with you as you had a dog and could live out her dream acting life out as a dog. Tell the mother you would have liked to know all this a warning would have been great

EeyoreIsh Sat 14-Sep-13 08:25:45

Oh my word, that would drive me to booze grin grin

SizzleSazz Sat 14-Sep-13 08:25:47

I looked after a friends 2 year old. After 10 minutes when she had found some metanium and smeared it over her clothes and dd1's bed, posted her drink and other items out of the cat flap (I spent a good while trying to locate the drink i knew I had given her) and decapitated a doll I realised I needed to reassess my childcare skills grin

See MrsHoratio that's what I am hoping.
That it sounds so far fetched and clearly not true.
Because I would never let her child sleep in a dogs bed/eat dog food/shut her in a cupboard. grin

I've just dragged dd out of bed, with instructions to watch her. I need to have a 30 second shower.

I am exhausted. It's only 8:30

IsThatTrue Sat 14-Sep-13 08:28:20

I love this grin

Sounds like she's having a great time!

YoniMontana Sat 14-Sep-13 08:28:55

Good luck with the baking!

MinnieBar Sat 14-Sep-13 08:30:08

1. Her mum knows exactly what she's like (hence the text) and is laughing her arse off

2. There's still time to Veet her before tomorrow…

scarletforya Sat 14-Sep-13 08:30:24

heh heh

Hairspray will get the marker off but spray it onto a cloth not directly onto her face!

LegoCaltrops Sat 14-Sep-13 08:31:38

Hilarious. marking place to read when I get back from stressful family day out. Dying to know what else she gets up to. And what's in store for me in the coming years - my DD is 16m & this sort of thing sounds likely!

scubastevie Sat 14-Sep-13 08:32:23

Brilliant :D good luck for today/tomorrow

PuddingAndHotMilk Sat 14-Sep-13 08:36:10

I'm not shamelessly marking my place to get updates on the cake-oriented adventures of Dog-Girl. Nope, not me!

littlewhitebag Sat 14-Sep-13 08:36:35

She sounds brilliant. No wonder her mum was keen for you to have her for the weekend.

She just put the cat in the kitchen sink.

The cat was unimpressed to say the least.

We need to go out of the house. Where can we go???

It's raining and cold.

Help me, please. Where can I take her?

When at shops if she escapes check the colthes stands used tobe dd2 place to chill spent many mins flapping trying to find her

greentea72 Sat 14-Sep-13 08:39:23

I've got a three year old like this and can't find a mug nice helpful friend to take her off my hands for a break. You're not free next weekend are you?

Seriously though it would be much worse if she was homesick and crying for mummy, she must really like you and your family.

EnidClowes Sat 14-Sep-13 08:44:26

What a funny little girl she is! I have an almost 3 year old and we're vegetarian, I agree with above posters - I'd just be (eternally) thankful for the weekend off, none of that will harm her even the dog food (blurgh!) I know it's always worse when it's someone else's and not your own though!
I think she's having the BEST time at yours, hope you're not too shattered at the end of it! grin

Take her to a field with a ball grin

I'm serious, ds is a feral wild beast - I take him out front and we kick a ball about he loves it.

Sparklingbrook Sat 14-Sep-13 08:45:22

Cinema?

Chubfuddler Sat 14-Sep-13 08:45:49

My two year old is like her. Today we are going to

Go to soft play
Stop at aldi on way back
Have lunch
Bake cakes
Eat cake
Watch a DVD
Hopefully by the time we've done that I can start the countdown to bath time

foslady Sat 14-Sep-13 08:46:33

Thank God for this thread - dd's doing 11+ today and this has made me smile so much. Pleaae keep updating so we can remind you how you'll laugh one day about it!!!!!!

Actually, cinema is not a bad idea, they have the Saturday morning kids club at our cinema. So it will be full of small children.

PistachioTruffle Sat 14-Sep-13 08:47:35

grin She sounds a hoot. Can you put coats and wellies on and go for a walk?

Sparklingbrook Sat 14-Sep-13 08:48:10

Yes and it's usually only a couple of pounds Tantrums.

I was thinking of soft play as well

Maybe if we do cinema, then soft play she will be tired?

And will just come home and sit still?

foslady Sat 14-Sep-13 08:50:39

You do know she'll be telling 'besttime ever' and she'll ask to stay everttime you see her grin

GeoHound Sat 14-Sep-13 08:50:42

Loving it!

What about a washing up bowl on the floor and an assortment of plastic things to wash up?

Or wash dolls in the bath (more self contained if you put her in the bath)?

Go outside and find puddles/leaves to stamp in?

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Sat 14-Sep-13 08:51:06

Excellent stuff.

Going on DD's behaviour as a guest at the same age, has she:

Shat in the bath?
Eaten a tube of tomato or garlic puree?
Exposed herself to a visitor?
Sung a favourite song for 90 minutes without cease? First line only of course.
Remarked loudly on your DP's endowment, comparing it unfavourably with her Dad's?

Heh heh heh.

ExitPursuedByADragon Sat 14-Sep-13 08:51:34

Wherever you take her put reins on her.

Keep away from water.

Good luck.

butterflyflyaway Sat 14-Sep-13 08:54:30

grin she sounds adorable

SavoyCabbage Sat 14-Sep-13 08:56:37

She sounds great.

She is obviously into dogs. My dd used to love being a dog so we used to play fetch. For ages. She loved it. She had her own water bowl on the floor too.

HoneyDragon Sat 14-Sep-13 08:56:55

I would LOVE you to look after 3 yo dd grin

Go for nice walk to local shop to choose sweetened to go on cake.

Return

get the 10 yo to sit and do a bit of Cbeebies/Nick Jnr on the pc with her.

Drink tea, prepare lunch

Then make cake.

As you will have a mess already in the kitchen mixing cake make salt dough with her. Let her choose what colours (if you have food colouring) DO NOT LET HER TOUCH THE COLOURING. Once Salt dough is made sit her in the kitchen playing with it whilst you clean the kitchen.

Get snack, get 10 yo to find some sort of Disney film. Place both in front of.

Clean up play dough. Check house for evidence of inept childcare.

Wait for mother.

She has sung "under my umbrella Ella Ella" approx 74 times. How she knows that song is beyond me.

And she wants to wear flip flops.

And she asked dd why her boobies were so big and auntie tantrums are so small.

We are going to the cinema. And then clown town. And then McDonalds.
I may cry.

I have bribed dd with money to come with me grin

HoneyDragon Sat 14-Sep-13 08:57:16

*sweetees

honey I wish I were you.

I really do. Can I drop her at your house?

dementedma Sat 14-Sep-13 09:00:43

Pmsl enjoy the rest of your weekend. My dds are in their 20s so I had forgotten all of this. I would be terrified to take her out anywhere other than the local park and even then would have a rope tied round her middle.

Haha, she's going to nag her mum to let her come and stay again with this level of fun!!

Aww. I would laugh my head off if you told my DC had been doing all those things! And buy you a big bottle of wine grin

Julezboo Sat 14-Sep-13 09:05:17

so funny! my youngest is 2.5 years and pretty boring compared to this!

miffybun73 Sat 14-Sep-13 09:06:55

She sounds totally and completely nuts, at least she's happy though.

WireCat Sat 14-Sep-13 09:10:17

You should become a childminder.

Samsean Sat 14-Sep-13 09:10:36

She sounds handful yet adorable smile marking my place ...

WireCat Sat 14-Sep-13 09:10:39

Also I'm sending my 4 year old....

This has kept me very very entertained while I'm desperately trying to gey the baby to sleep before her whirlwind of a sister comes tearing in (also 3).

It does sound like a very, um, <searching for the right word> brave? Foolhardy? Typical? Weekend. ?

Agree with wearing her out. And thinking of the fun games you played whoch involved hiding in the dogs bed etc etc.

Arion Sat 14-Sep-13 09:11:13

Don't, whatever you do, leave her with Honeydragon! She'll come back blue with no hair! shock grin

Useful tip - baby wipes cleaned off the cat whiskers DS2 drew on his face with a red sharpie.

You need to wear her out at every opportunity.

Tee2072 Sat 14-Sep-13 09:13:22

grin Arion!

Groovee Sat 14-Sep-13 09:15:18

Haha this is hilarious. Hope you survive the weekend.

londonmum14 Sat 14-Sep-13 09:18:42

Shamelessly marking place too smile Hope things get easier, sounds like your friend owes you a big one after this weekend grin

YoniMatopoeia Sat 14-Sep-13 09:18:49

Brilliant thread. I agree with others saying wear her out. And if I was mum I wouldn't mind any of the things that have happened. I mean, she hasn't actually come to harm has she.

Well at the moment she is green. And her hair is...interesting. She did it herself.

It's all good.

If I see a thread about how disgraceful people let their children out in public with green felt tip pen on their face and hair in 17 different ponytails, I will know it's me.

foslady Sat 14-Sep-13 09:19:54

When you friend texts tomorrow, there is only 1 reply

Bring wine grin

Good luck with playzone and Mcd's - here's a paracetamol on me.....

(you really are a lovely friend though, your mate is probably relaxing for the 1st time in ages)

Dilidali Sat 14-Sep-13 09:20:59

Brilliant! Make her string pasta, make her a tent with chairs, put some cartoons on.
I would not take her out of the house, that's even more dangerous!

HoneyDragon Sat 14-Sep-13 09:22:58

Unbelievably (certainly to me ) I am regularly entrusted the care of friends children, even over tonight.

This is done with the full knowledge of their parents knowing that they may not be returned to them in the condition they arrived in.

confused. Frankly some parents are weird

Still they always seem happy to be here.

I am normally entrusted with the older children.

There are normal at least 3 teenagers sleeping here at the weekend.
They are easy. All you have to do is provide food and WiFi.
And not talk to them.

This is a whole different ball game.

She just asked me for scissors. When I asked what for, it was to cut the cats whiskers as they are too long

Half an hour til we can leave for the cinema.

I can't wait to get out of the house.

HoneyDragon Sat 14-Sep-13 09:29:53

grin

Come over here. We are vogueing in the kitchen and making cheese and ham croissants with hot chocolate

<<strikes a pose>>

Thanks for the laugh, Auntie Tantrums! She sounds absolutely brilliant. grin

HalfMumHalfBiscuit Sat 14-Sep-13 09:37:34

This is brilliant. You should be a blogger.

This reminds me of when we had DDs first play date with friend who also disappeared and would not play with DD. DH and I had to take turns watching her. DD upset, friend kept falling off bikes, Exhausting!

TigerFeet Sat 14-Sep-13 09:38:06

If I couldn't see dd2 from where I sit I would think she was at your house grin

I bet her mum is laughing into her cuppa wondering how you're getting on.

I wouldn't mind if my 3yo came home from a weekend away covered in green felt tip pen and having spent every night sleeping in the dog's bed.

And if I texted asking how she was and got a "fine" back I'd snort to myself and wonder wtf was going on grin

FruOla Sat 14-Sep-13 09:41:42

"And will just come home and sit still?" Fat chance grin

The last time DP's DGD (2.7) was here, she discovered the laundry balls - then spent 10 minutes desperately trying to make them bounce whilst I was trying to grab them before they hit something breakable!

ChristineDaae Sat 14-Sep-13 09:41:43

She sounds brilliant! I have a 3yo DD, and would find it hysterical if I left her with someone for a weekend and this has happened! (I would also apologise for not pre-warning you!)

MamaTo3Boys Sat 14-Sep-13 09:48:55

Hahaha brilliant! grin

She sounds adorable.

gallicgirl Sat 14-Sep-13 09:52:02

Wellies and rain coat and go spelunking with the dogs. Lots of running around in a large field then home for a warm bath.

Good luck.

NomDeClavier Sat 14-Sep-13 09:52:39

Too funny! At least you know you need to watch her like a hawk now...

AgathaF Sat 14-Sep-13 09:52:53

Brilliant grin! She sounds just like our daughter was at that age.

Sounds like you need to remove all scissors and knives from the house though, for the cat's sake.

greenhill Sat 14-Sep-13 09:53:31

I think after this weekend you're going to have all the details needed for a 'how to look after a toddler' manual, from the toddlers POV grin. Can you get some decent photos to demonstrate what fun she is having?

hareinthemoon Sat 14-Sep-13 09:54:45

Awwwwww. DD is 15 and I'd forgotten this stage a bit. I bet she's loving it. But I hope when you're out and she asks to be a dog and to be put on the dog lead, that you don't meet the same po-faced person we did when we did this with DD, who told us we were disgraceful for treating our child like a dog (err...she's playing???)

Also - when flour is involved - DO NOT TAKE YOUR EYES OFF HER. I say this as someone who found her DS with a little pyramid of flour on his head, little eyes peeking out from a white, powdery face, because DD had somehow decided that she wanted to make a hat instead of bread.

pollywollydoodle Sat 14-Sep-13 09:56:32

Brilliant!
A dog bath?
A walk with the dogs and a ball?
At least you would know where she was...briefly smile

ps make sure the upstairs windows are closed wink

Right we are off.

Dd is sulking. Friends dd is wearing 17 different coloured bobbles in her hair and is devestated that we cannot bring the animals to the cinema

She has, however, reassured them that she will tell them all about it when she gets back.
She has also asked if we can bring a McFlurry back for the dog? And can we talk in the cinema or do we have to shush? And what things are there to do at soft play? Are animals allowed in soft play? Why not?

She also tried to put the cat in her coat so she could watch the film.

This has cheered me up so much! Can't wait to hear how the cinema goes last time we went with ds it was hell on earth I need coping tips for future!

absentmindeddooooodles Sat 14-Sep-13 10:03:55

Sorry but ive had a right laugh at this. She sounds a handfull hilarious smile

Dubjackeen Sat 14-Sep-13 10:04:09

Best of luck! Sounds like she is having a brilliant time with you. Bet her mum is enjoying the break, and I bet her dd will be begging for more weekends with you.

Sparklingbrook Sat 14-Sep-13 10:04:28

Anyone else hoping she goes up to the front at the cinema and does a little dance and sings for the audience? grin

HoneyDragon Sat 14-Sep-13 10:04:31

Bye <<waves>>

<<hopes sulky dd is mall enough to perform soft play rescue mission>>

JaneEyresHeir Sat 14-Sep-13 10:04:43

Hahaha - hilarious thread grin.
You deserve a medal crate of wine

TimeforGandT Sat 14-Sep-13 10:06:16

Marking my place for the brilliant updates later!

Don't forget that when you exhaust 3 year olds they counteract this by going hyper.... Just a thought.

TSSDNCOP Sat 14-Sep-13 10:09:51

Cinema tip: do not go to see Planes. You will fall asleep and so will DD and HolyTerror3 will be vanished in the dark when you wake.

TSSDNCOP Sat 14-Sep-13 10:12:17

Honey I was thinking the same.

I can see Tantrums vereeee high up in those rope gantry things attempting a rescue on HolyTerror3, and actually having to be rescued herself.

<v worried, but in a PMSL kind of way>

HoneyDragon Sat 14-Sep-13 10:13:23

I am also worried and sniggering

Distrustinggirlnow Sat 14-Sep-13 10:16:56

I know it's probably not the response you are looking for OP but I have actually cried with laughter at your post grin

It sounds like she is having a marvellous time. My daughter used to eat dog biscuits and sleep in the dog bed all the time when she was little smile

Please keep updating and look forward to Sunday night when you can sit down with a wineand a sigh of relief smile

WhisperMen Sat 14-Sep-13 10:19:31

This thread has made me laugh lots. I shall await updates later grin

She sounds lively! Good luck!

She sounds brilliant but I'm glad I don't have to look after her.

Have a good time at the pictures and keep us updated.

DizzyPurple Sat 14-Sep-13 10:25:49

This is great! My dd also 3 is asking me why I keep laughing. Can't really tell her or she'll be off copying the ideas! She is quite tame compared to your little one. Have a lovely day!

Charlottehere Sat 14-Sep-13 10:26:59

You've been had. grin

grin

She sounds like my friends dd who thew a melon down the stairs which went through the glass back door, cut her fringe off with a pair of scissors which were on the top shelf of the kitchen cupboard (involved climbing) and went to sleep in the dirty linen basket (thus becoming invisible). Not all on the same day (I don't think).

You'll be knackered by tomorrow. Have you a dog cage you could put her in?

At least she is still in one piecegrin

BeaWheesht Sat 14-Sep-13 10:38:43

Hang on just had to check dd was here because she is exactly like this and I have her all the time.

Enjoy your weekend.

This thread has me chuckling away, my nearly 3yo charge is like this!

God I love three year olds grin

She's just stuck an M and M up her nose.
Then had a tantrum because I got it out.

Films about to start, thank god.

Cinema full of children. At least she blends in grin

BellaVita Sat 14-Sep-13 10:51:11

Love this thread! grin

BeaWheesht Sat 14-Sep-13 10:52:51

This thread has made me feel like maybe our kids aren't so weird after all, ds was like this, dd still is. When I read threads where people say they're chilling out / watching a DVD / cleaning / getting anything done whilst their 3 year old lets them I think WTAF I'd have to sedate mine to get that kind of peace!

JesusInTheCabbageVan Sat 14-Sep-13 10:54:15

grin Shops are your friends. Big stores with immovable stock (e.g. furniture shops, bed shops, carpet shops) where she can tear around touching stuff and "trying out" all the sofas. Pets At Home where she can look at the fish and rats and stuff. IKEA - same, and she can choose one cheap thing from the toy dept at the end. Sounds weird, but trust me. We're taking DS to the rug shop this afternoon.

Ah pets at home. I'd forgotten about that. She will love it there, all the little animals to look at.

She is totally transfixed by the film ATM. I hope it lasts.

DameDeepRedBetty Sat 14-Sep-13 11:03:33

Well done for getting the M&M out. Have not forgotten the two hours in A&E when dd1 filled her nose with peas.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Sat 14-Sep-13 11:23:29

Hm, Pets at Home. On second thoughts....

"MummyMummyMummy! I was hungry so I eated the dog's food and thenTantrums shut me in the cupboard and then I ran away and hid in a bush at the bottom of the garden for aaaages and can I have a rabbit mummy? Can I can I can I can I CAN I CAN I CAN I PLEEEEEEEASE?"

What a little character ! keep us updated OP!

See, that is exactly what she is going to say when she gets home grin

She is loving the film, she hasn't moved once.

Thank you sparkling this was a very very good idea.

schilke Sat 14-Sep-13 11:33:05

You are doing a grand job! It is very entertaining for the bystanders. Actually, i have been a little broody lately (youngest dc is 7 and oldest is 15). This has brought me back to my senses!

MrsWembley Sat 14-Sep-13 11:38:00

Shamelessly marking place!grin

Reading this out to DP as we drive down to DM's - keeping him entertained too.gringringrin

IslaValargeone Sat 14-Sep-13 11:38:44

This is such a great thread.
I want a 3 year old!

ItsOkayItsJustMyBreath Sat 14-Sep-13 11:42:24

A positive spin on this (apart from it being totally hilarious!) is that it may be the best sex ed you could give your older DCs grin

goonyagoodthing Sat 14-Sep-13 11:49:35

She sounds great fun, but you may need a relaxant when she leaves. If someone takes my kids for the weekend my only requirement is that they return alive. Anything else is a bonus. Your friend will be eternally grateful, even if her LO is covered in dogs hair and other unidentified objects.

MoominsYonisAreScary Sat 14-Sep-13 11:50:34

Agree my 2 year old has totally put ds1 18 off having children, possibly forever

JuanFanjo Sat 14-Sep-13 11:52:04

Ha brilliant - was the same when I looked after my nephew same age.

RUN her - run her like the dogs - get her so exhausted all she can do is lie on the sofa watching CBeebies. It's your only option. Soft Play centre or park with wellies. If it's raining take her out and run up and down in puddles until she is drenched and exhausted - they think this is BRILLIANT as they're always being told to stay dry and clean. Then you take her home and put her straight in the bath to warm up and get clean. GOOD LUCK!!!

Fifi2406 Sat 14-Sep-13 11:56:47

Can't help but find this hilarious!

KnottyLocks Sat 14-Sep-13 11:58:28

Ahhh , reminds me of the time that DS decorated my friend's pristine White bathroom with her best Chanel red lippy. 'twas like a slasher movie set.

In good news, at least she hasn't got a penis to get a DVD stuck on.

Halcyon days grin

TallGiraffe Sat 14-Sep-13 12:08:14

Nail polish remover is great for felt tip marks - test slotted patch first though to check she doesn't react.

Dog walks are going to be key to surviving the weekend!

You're an awesome friend btw

grin

neverputasockinatoaster Sat 14-Sep-13 12:17:11

Crying with laughter......

When DS was 3 I used to have to keep him on reins when we were out and about as he was an absolute escape artist.

We used to go to the park and play 'fetch' a lot, I even bought one of those dog balls that bounce in unexpected directions.......

When DD was born DH would frequently arrive home from work to find me wearing one shoe - we'd have been out, I'd be part way through de shoeing and then DS would be up to mischief! DH could never understand why I couldn't just take the other shoe off until I left them for a day..........

Chubfuddler Sat 14-Sep-13 12:17:48

My 2 year old dd is now asleep on sofa following 2 exhausting hours at soft play - she goes head first down the biggest tube slide.

grin A DVD stuck on penis.

She sounds hilarious but I'm relieved I don't have to babysit her!

Right. We are off to soft play.

She did a little dance and a cartwheel at the front after the film.

I have told her not to climb up high unless she can actually get back down because I won't be able to rescue her.

She said "that's because you are too big and tall and your feet are too too big to come and play"

Thanks for that lovely grin

Salmotrutta Sat 14-Sep-13 12:35:54

At least the MnM up the nose didnt necessitate a trip to casualty! grin

Imagine her relaying that to Mum... "And we went to the Hospital to get my nose fixed! Can I be a Doctor when I grow up?" grin

I am actually hoping that a trip to casualty will not feature in this visit.

Chubfuddler Sat 14-Sep-13 12:38:53

Go up the soft play with her. I did. Brilliant fun and beats going to the gym.

Salmotrutta Sat 14-Sep-13 12:39:41

grin

WhisperMen Sat 14-Sep-13 12:49:28

she sounds so entertaining grin

Dd who is 15 and really did not want to come with us, had to be bribed, in fact is in the soft play thing with her

She is loving every minute of it.

She did make me promise not to tell any of her friends though grin

Friends dd was quite disgusted that she had to take her shoes off and told one of the boys that his socks were dirty and smelly.

We had a little chat about how we don't always have to say everything out loud because it might hurt someone's feelings which isn't very nice.

She said "oh but my mum says I always have to tell the truth and his socks are smelly so it's the truth"

Cue another little chat about being nice. I think she got it because she just came and whispered in my ear that "that boy over there needs tissue, his nose is yukky. But I didn't tell him auntie tantrums because I didn't want to hurt his feelings" grin

JaneEyresHeir Sat 14-Sep-13 13:26:42

She's quick on the uptake! grin
Am going to miss this thread when she goes home - so you'll need to get your friend to keep us up to date with DD's antics wink

Sparklingbrook Sat 14-Sep-13 13:30:49

There is a Reception teacher out there somewhere that will be getting this child at some point. shock grin

I think teachers call it 'spirited' wink

HoneyDragon Sat 14-Sep-13 13:34:37

I'm only ever calling you AuntyTantrums now.

Ok now I have a new problem.

I am pretty sure she is going to fall asleep in the car on the way home. Because she went to bed late and got up early and she is running about at a hundred miles an hour.

That's bad, isn't it?
If she sleeps at 2:30pm she is going to be up all night isn't she?

Shall I try and somehow keep her awake? Or is that a wicked thing to do?

We have all got to be up by 7am tomorrow for ds1 football match, I really don't want to be trying to entertain a 3 year old at 2am because she slept this afternoon.

help. Please

Sparklingbrook Sat 14-Sep-13 13:42:12

You must keep going. How about swimming?

WhisperMen Sat 14-Sep-13 13:42:18

squirt her with a water pistol every time she starts to fall asleep? <helpful>

GibberTheMonkey Sat 14-Sep-13 13:43:33

I can only laugh at this because ds1 is now the and can be kept entertained in other ways (and no longer runs out of school)
She sounds lovely, I think she's going to go far in life.
Good luck

GibberTheMonkey Sat 14-Sep-13 13:45:23

You'll probably find that if she's falling asleep now she won't stay awake until bed time. Better to let her have twenty minutes now and a slightly late bedtime than her conking out at 5.

Let her have 15 minutes, or half an hour. You dont want her grumpy the rest of the day. At 3 a small nap now should be fine.

<fingers crossed>

I am hoping your friend is not at a <whispers> ..............wedding....

HoneyDragon Sat 14-Sep-13 13:46:43

Let her have have and hour in the car and make sure you wake her up at the house. She'll wake up quick as she's somewhere exciting.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Sat 14-Sep-13 13:47:29

Play "Who can scream the loudest" in the car on the way home.

Ok, if she is still awake at 3am because I let her sleep this afternoon, I am holding you lot personally responsible grin

PartyOrganisor Sat 14-Sep-13 13:56:25

Anywhere that is a bit dry. A museum, shops, a ride in the train?

Only a quick nap Aunty Tantrums as you'll all need a good nights sleep after today. Good luck !

RibenaFiend Sat 14-Sep-13 14:01:42

This thread has made my day! Thank you!!!
shamelessly marking place
smile Have you tried playing indoor hide and seek?

SoleSource Sat 14-Sep-13 14:01:51

Are you available to look after DS next Saturday?

JesusInTheCabbageVan Sat 14-Sep-13 14:04:11

Nooooo don't let her sleep! Seriously, DS is only 21mo and if I let him sleep after 1pm that's IT - two hours standing in the dark over the cot, desperate for a piss, intoning "Bed time now" and occasionally swearing loudly

ribena it was supposed to be indoor hide and seek yesterday. I am never doing it again, I thought she had run away. I was 10 seconds from calling the police grin

Anyway, she doesn't want McDonalds. She wants to eat here at soft play.
So, fine. It means I don't have to move just yet.

Why is the food in these places so expensive??

She just asked what we are doing next.

Going home, I said. And what will we do then??

I suggested something like drawing or coloring or play doh

Nope. She wants to take the doggies to the park and play with them.

Dear god, where is she getting all this energy from?

Chubfuddler Sat 14-Sep-13 14:09:32

Dd cannot be allowed to sleep after 1pm. It's a disaster. If she hasn't had a nap by then she doesn't get one.

You need a cold wet flannel.

Chubfuddler Sat 14-Sep-13 14:10:18

YY to doggy wellie walk after lunch. She will be asleep by 6.30pm. Bliss.

Do you actually forget how tiring this is, as your DCs get older?
Because I am shattered. Honestly, I am so tired.

I must have blocked this stage out of my mind

My friend texted to see how we were doing. I texted back we were in soft play.
Her response was..
? Are you mad??

Chubfuddler Sat 14-Sep-13 14:11:44

I'm so glad you think little children are exhausting. In always like this hmm at the number of MNers with four under six and things like that.

Jbck Sat 14-Sep-13 14:19:27

I'm sitting MNetting and missing DD2 who's 5 and spending the afternoon at her friends. You have just reminded me why I should enjoy the peace and quiet whilst I can smile

Ds is 2.5 and has at least a 2 hour sleep every afternoon. He then goes to bed 7.30 and sleeps til 6. Afternoon nap doesn't always mean no sleep at night.

I'm tired just reading about it - you are a saint and a star and deserve a medal (and a large bottle of something strong and reviving....). Good luck for the rest of the w/end.

GibberTheMonkey Sat 14-Sep-13 14:39:22

I think you must tantrum. Rose tinted backward looking glasses.

I was a four under six parent such as Chub mentioned but my youngest is 4 now and though my brain tells me it was awful (actually worst when I had 1or 2 because of ds1) for some reason I don't think it was that bad.

ClaraOswald Sat 14-Sep-13 14:42:02

I have laughed the while way through this. In answer to your question, pre school children are energy leeches. Close proximity to those over ten years old will result in supercharged tiny person and totally knackered older person. That's my b theory, anyway.

IsotopeMe Sat 14-Sep-13 14:42:30

Brilliant thread!

And btw, I think the mums response to the soft play text means she may know exactly what her dd is like! ;)

Right we are off home to put on wellies and rain jackets and walk the dogs.
And then I am staying at home. Surely she will be too tired to paint herself or cut the cats whiskers or put hair bobbles on the dogs tail after all this??

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sat 14-Sep-13 14:46:39

I have just PMSL through this whole thread. What next?

KnockMeDown Sat 14-Sep-13 14:47:44

This is definitely the best thread for ages - this girl sounds a real treasure!

When her parents come to pick her up tomorrow, and ask what you did all weekend, just give them a print-out of the thread, and say "there, read that, I'm FAR too exhausted to tell you....." grin

greenhill Sat 14-Sep-13 14:51:28

When your friend's DD goes to sleep it will be sudden and completely unexpected, if you are lucky it will be halfway through answering a question, otherwise it will be facedown in the dog's bowl grin

My 3 yo pretended to be a dog in Wilkinsons this week, he was crawling through the shop on his hands and knees with a rubber bone in his mouth, barking at people. I carried on shopping as if it were perfectly normal.

You do realise that she won't tell her mum anything about what she has been doing. When her mum asks her she will either say "Nothing", "Can't remember", or "Don't know".

Then in three weeks time she will randomly tell her mum that you shut her in the cupboard.

Then there will an AIBU thread from the mum asking if she should have word with you about mistreating her child, or if she should leave it as it is several weeks ago.

You will be branded forever...

ExasperatedSigh Sat 14-Sep-13 15:06:31

Best thread ever grin even though it is a glimpse into my own future. The only difference between this girl and my 2yo DD is that mine can't articulate her madness...yet.

LovesBeingOnHoliday Sat 14-Sep-13 15:17:34

This is hilarious

Longtallsally Sat 14-Sep-13 15:32:29

grin grin grin

When you get back from the walk, pop her in the bath, with lots of small pots and dishes, to get 20 minutes to have a cup of tea and to keep her awake until DVD time.

(Are you very sure that your friend is not a MNetter and following this thread step by step??)

ha ha ha

i'm having a very dull day and this has made things so much better!

Hahaha! gringringrin
This has made me feel better. It isn't just my dd who is like this!
And I want another one. Must be mental!
What is she up to now?!?

Well.

I now have 2 dogs and a 3 year old caked in mud.
I have never seen so much mud.

Dd is hosing down the dogs grin
Friends dd is waiting for a bath. You can barely see her face for the mud.

Thankfully, she said she had a very lovely day and now she is tired so I think Cbeebies, dinner and bed.

I spoke to my friend half an hour ago.
I told her that her daughter was sleeping in the dogs bed.
She found it very funny, thank god grin

I am now working on the theory that as long as she is safe, warm and fed, she can sleep wherever she wants.

I am also ready to go to bed. How is if only 4:40?
It's feels like 11pm.

Luckytwo Sat 14-Sep-13 16:46:13

Brilliant thread. Loving every minute of it smile

Tell me, Tantrums - have you got the green ink off her face or is it in fact indelible ?

The ink may still be on her face.
I cannot see because of the mud.

She wants to draw her eyebrows blue after the bath.

I side stepped that one by saying I don't have a blue pen grin

Luckytwo Sat 14-Sep-13 16:51:01

How funny smile

Good luck with the bath - you might be spending the rest of the day mopping it all up .

I would give you this wine but you might want to wait till she has gone home.

You sound lovely, that's about an average series of events for a three yr old doesnt it?

You can have my dd2 any time grin

I dare not drink anything alcoholic until she goes home.

I know if I drink one sip something horrendous will happen and my friend will be told how auntie tantrums was drinking wine and she let me cut off all of my hair.

Dd is helping her wash her dollies hair in the bath and even found her a toy teapot and cups, so they are having a tea party while I have a coffee.

It sounds like they are having fun, I keep hearing water hit the floor.

ziggiestardust Sat 14-Sep-13 17:03:29

I love toddlers grin

I've done play doh with mine, and after making a dinosaur, a flower, a fried egg, some chips and a star, he requested I make a cheese grater confused

Then he threw it all back in the playdoh pot, slammed the lid on and made loud 'zzzzz' sounds and informed me we were now making coffee, and if I wanted a cup I had to sit nicely and blow it blush

ziggiestardust Sat 14-Sep-13 17:04:13

Your DC sound like lovely, helpful young people btw OP.

TallGiraffe Sat 14-Sep-13 17:16:26

Has your friend gone on a quiet spa break for one to sleep or is she away partying with an OH conceiving a little brother/sister so you can do this all again in 3 years ?

No giraffe she is at home.

Her mum broke her arm a couple of weeks ago and she has been looking after her, plus working and looking after her dd, she needs a rest, that's why I have her dd.

She's on the sofa with Cbeebies and a cup of hot milk. I'm hoping she doesn't fall asleep before dinner.

Ds2 wants her to go and play football outside with him. The combination of friends dd, my ds2 and a football is filling me with dread tbh.

Chubfuddler Sat 14-Sep-13 17:27:54

Time for the cold wet flannel treatment

thegreylady Sat 14-Sep-13 17:39:43

Wonderful Tantrums-will watch this smile
I had my two dgs overnight last night [they are 4 and nearly 7].There was a lot of noise so I went in to the bedroom to suggest they settle down.
dgs1-He won't stop talking and singing.I want to go to sleep.
me-dgs2 be quiet now and snuggle down
dgs2-it was both of us-he was talking as well
me-What did he say?
dgs2-He said,"Be quiet dgs2!"

spiderlight Sat 14-Sep-13 17:41:47

Oh, she sounds wonderful!! grin

My DS told the health visitor that he slept in the dog bed at his two-year check.

littlewhitebag Sat 14-Sep-13 17:45:10

This thread has made me all misty eyed and nostalgic for those magical toddler days. Yes it was tiring, messy and noisy but it was such fun.

I love my DD's but they are now 15 and 21 and so independent. It doesn't seem that long ago they were like your friends DD.

I do believe i am little bit envy

Best thread for ages!
I LOVE auntie tantrums and your young visitor sounds delightful. You are a very kind friend

LOVE IT

MrsOakenshield Sat 14-Sep-13 18:15:56

I have a 3 year old and I'm exhausted just reading this! Auntie Tantrums, you sound the best. I don't think I have ever made this much effort for DD, I almost feel properly shamed. Though I daresay not enough to actually do anything about it.

Soft play!!!! <faints clear away at the thought>

GerardButlersSecretLover Sat 14-Sep-13 18:16:16

When does she go home?? grin

tb Sat 14-Sep-13 18:20:52

Following Gerard - how long after she's gone will it take you to hit the gin?
Seriously, it sounds as if you're giving her a super time. Well done you thanks wine and brew and cake to be going on with.

Lillabet Sat 14-Sep-13 18:23:25

I have just roared laughing at this, although I probably shouldn't as I have this to come again with my DD (currently 11 months, although already spirited) and have just come out the other side of it with DS (4 years). Thank you for making a very grumpy me, much happier.

I have white wine chilling in the fridge.

I am taking her with me to ds1 football match tomorrow and then dropping her home.

I should be home by about 3pm. I expect to have finished the first glass by 3.02pm.

She is sitting on the floor with a dog on either side of her, telling them about her day.
She finished her dinner, did not eat the dogs food this time and will be off to bed at 7pm.

Wish me luck grin

GiGiGi Sat 14-Sep-13 18:32:13

You are never ever going to be able to get her to leave. She is having far too much fun with you!

PurplePidjin Sat 14-Sep-13 18:35:55

I'm only on the first hundred posts but wanted to say that it sounds like she's having an amazing time and i would be thrilled if someone was kind enough to entertain ds like that when he's bigger thanks

CorrieDale Sat 14-Sep-13 18:45:57

I was going to reassure you that she will say 'nothing' or 'can 't remember' when asked what she did with you. But someone else beat me to it. Only minus the reassurance!

She's a sparky little thing, isn't she?

Well she has just recounted the entire weekend with stunning accuracy to the dogs.

Right down to "...and then auntie tantrums shut me in the cupboard and then we had hot chocolate and auntie tantrums put marshmallows in it and my mummy doesn't let me have marshmallows and hot chocolate cos it's bad for my teeth and then I did sleep in your bed doggie"

SuperiorCat Sat 14-Sep-13 18:52:07

Best thread ever - your writing style and childcare approach is excellent Auntie Tantrums

millimat Sat 14-Sep-13 18:58:38

Aw it sounds a lovely weekend. She will be expecting to stay at yours at least, ooh about once a month grin

My childcare approach at the moment has been reduced to "is she fed? Warm? Not hiding in a bush in the rain?
Yes? Then that is a success.

I don't know how I managed with my own children. I think maybe I just let them get on with it grin

I seem to remember ds1 spending a lot of time sleeping on the floor. I can quite remember why though grin

She is about to fall asleep on the sofa so I am going to pop her into bed.
Quite how long she will stay there is anyone's guess.

I fully expect to find her in the dogs bed later on.

She just tried to put the cat in her pyjama top so she could take her to bed.

I think she needs a pet...I wonder if I should buy her one grin

NB I am joking. I would never buy an animal for a 3 year old.
I might text my friend and tell her I have given her dd a cat and see what she says......

smile your friends going to be crying with laughter when you tell her what happened.

What an absolute treasure that little girl sounds.

GerardButlersSecretLover Sat 14-Sep-13 19:05:43

How do we nominate this thread for Classics??

MerryMarigold Sat 14-Sep-13 19:12:23

Don't forget to put her on the loo later if she's out of nappies...wink

YoniMatopoeia Sat 14-Sep-13 19:13:59

Have nominated.

I hope you have a peaceful evening. Somehow I don't see it happening.

Oh it's ok merry

Last night around 3.15am she put her face an inch from mine and shouted "AUNTIE TANTRUMS I NEED A WEE WEE"

I jumped out of bed like the house was on fire, it have me such a shock. And then she said "why did you jump up"

Well, that would be because I was asleep, it's the middle of the night and you just shouted in my face!

MerryMarigold Sat 14-Sep-13 19:17:37

Ha Ha. Good girl.

misdee Sat 14-Sep-13 19:19:32

this is hilarious.

and just about sums up my days with 3 under 5 (one had started school and I breathe a sigh of relief, as she def in the spirited catorgory)

Jux Sat 14-Sep-13 19:23:39

Have seconded for Classics. This has kept me amused on and off most of the day. Thanks Tantrums, keep up the good work!

littlemisswise Sat 14-Sep-13 19:31:57

She sounds like she is having the time of her life. I am just glad she is at your house and not mine!grin

Pashazade Sat 14-Sep-13 19:37:14

Fabulous, hope you don't receive another heart attack at 0315hrs!!

ZingWantsCake Sat 14-Sep-13 19:37:59

grin

GerardButlersSecretLover Sat 14-Sep-13 19:46:37

Tantrums My ds did something similar when he camped at my Mum's once. I refused to sleep in the tent so my nephew did. I slept in the sitting room with the patio door open and the side lamp on. At 3am I opened my eyes to see ds's face an inch from mine. I screamed the house down. He wanted the loo too!! hmm

GerardButlersSecretLover Sat 14-Sep-13 19:47:42

Oh and I have nominated for Classics too. Hope I have done it right!

flamingtoaster Sat 14-Sep-13 19:49:24

My DH has been enjoying this thread with me and has asked me to tell you that you do realize that she will want to come back to stay with you as often as she can because she's had such a great time.

Hope you have a peaceful night. Lock the front and back doors and hide the keys!

londonmum14 Sat 14-Sep-13 19:49:43

How do you nominate? Do you report for other reasons then say you'd like to nominate?

GerardButlersSecretLover Sat 14-Sep-13 19:51:08

That's what I did! smile

Lovethesea Sat 14-Sep-13 19:53:33

How are your dogs coping!?!

MrsWembley Sat 14-Sep-13 19:57:22

Hey, AuntieTantrums, you're on FB!!grin

millimat Sat 14-Sep-13 20:06:57

How's it on fb?

Wonderstuff Sat 14-Sep-13 20:08:22

Aww sounds like you have a lovely family. Thanks for sharing has really made me smile.

GerardButlersSecretLover Sat 14-Sep-13 20:08:22

Yay! Your in Classics!!! grin

ZingWantsCake Sat 14-Sep-13 20:08:35

it's in Classics now!thanks

DontmindifIdo Sat 14-Sep-13 20:13:06

I'm sure you won't get shouted at 3am, I bet you'll get whispery freaky child at 3am instead that'll unnerve you.

sassytheFIRST Sat 14-Sep-13 20:13:41

What a great thread.

I have 2 dds and 4 nieces. All are pretty full on - my dd1 was EXHAUSTING when she was a toddler. But then dniece no4 came along. Jesus, that one is a whole bundle of liabilities wrapped up in one tiny package. I adore her but when my sister puts her in the car and leaves I wave, pour wine and collapse on the sofa for a nap.

Hats off to you for having a whole weekend! What a nice friend you are. Your dd sounds great too. As for the toddler - she is clearly F.A.B. grin

Faithless12 Sat 14-Sep-13 20:14:35

GerardButlersSecretLover - That is hilarious, my DS does that to me but I'd probably wet myself with fear in your circumstances.

GerardButlersSecretLover Sat 14-Sep-13 20:20:05

He just said "Why you scream Mumma?"

cakesonatrain Sat 14-Sep-13 20:29:04

I started off laughing, but then realised I'll have a 3 year old in about 11 months...

Trumpton Sat 14-Sep-13 20:32:27

I have DGS ( not quite 3years old ) and DGD 13 months old one day a week and I fully relate to your day.

Small boy takes great joy in recounting his day to mummy when she gets home whilst I squirm in the corner !

It's much easier before they can tell tales about you !!

She sounds delightful. Very articulate and energetic. What a great job you're doing smile

Only 18 hours till wine time grin

ExitPursuedByADragon Sat 14-Sep-13 20:38:29

Does that poor child have no pets???

Buy her something furry for her next birthday.

missorinoco Sat 14-Sep-13 20:43:08

Hilarious!

Do you think your DS1's football match is ready for this?

OryxCrake Sat 14-Sep-13 20:45:51

She sounds fabulous. And so do you!

partyondude Sat 14-Sep-13 20:46:47

Just read this to dh who is laughing like I've not seen him laugh for a long time. Ours are 2 and 4 and it all sounds so familiar...

I can't wait for the next updates!!

TigerFeet Sat 14-Sep-13 20:47:24

Every 3yo needs an Auntie Tantrums. Would you like to be my 3yo's Auntie Tantrums OP?

Chubfuddler Sat 14-Sep-13 20:47:52

There's no way that child is asleep yet. She sounds like my dd - Duracell flipping bunny.

FCEK Sat 14-Sep-13 20:49:24

haven't read the whole thread, but I would have told the mum 'yes she was pretending to be a dog, playing hide and seek and in the garden'. Be vague, act like it was all pretend lol

LegoAcupuncture Sat 14-Sep-13 20:56:03

She sounds delightful, makes me want to almost have another just so I can do the threes all over again.

Groovee Sat 14-Sep-13 20:56:28

Haha she is hilarious. Hope you get some sleep tonight and no shocks.

JaneEyresHeir Sat 14-Sep-13 20:57:23

I now have 2 dogs and a 3 year old caked in mud.
I have never seen so much mud.
Friend's dd is waiting for a bath. You can barely see her face for the mud
Reminds me of a Just William story in which Violet Elizabeth, trailing after the Outlaws (much to William's annoyance), and lithping about what fun she'th having, ends up covered in mud from top to toe. So much so that Mrs Bott doesn't recognise her 'darling child' when she's returned to her....

LovesBeingOnHoliday Sat 14-Sep-13 21:10:27

She sounds so cute when someone else is looking after her

Katiebeau Sat 14-Sep-13 21:26:02

She sounds great wink

Marking place for more.....

Havea0 Sat 14-Sep-13 21:38:49

Ssh! I think auntie Tantrums may have fallen asleep too!

I am loving this thread. Auntie Tantrums, you are amazing!

LegoDragon Sat 14-Sep-13 21:44:20

She sounds great. But exhausting.

Wolfcub Sat 14-Sep-13 21:50:20

Fantastic thread, I hope you're sleeping well auntie Tantrums, your day sounds exhausting. I bet the mother is refreshing this thread every few seconds whilst supping gin and giggling uncontrollably

mineofuselessinformation Sat 14-Sep-13 21:51:54

Tantrums, you are my hero! All she needed to do is say 'why?' constantly and she would be the epitome of my dd1. I eventually resorted (when anyone commented on her) to saying 'she has never been known for being a conformist....'
Hoping you get through the night without an 'I need a wee' episode and that your glass of wine is everything you are hoping for. grin

FunnyRunner Sat 14-Sep-13 21:52:34

Have you conked out tantrums? grin

AnotherStitchInTime Sat 14-Sep-13 22:11:51

Great thread, she is a character, love her and you are doing a fantastic job auntie Tantrums smile

My 3 year old and 2 year old nieces are exactly like this and dd2 (18 months) is fast following in their footsteps. All three of them in a room together is bedlam!

Luckily dd1 is a sensible sort and tells me when dd2 is climbing on the dining table or eating the guinea pig food from their cage.

MrsOakenshield Sat 14-Sep-13 22:37:08

such a brilliant thread I have just read it all over again.

I bet she tries to join in with DS1's football match tomorrow . . .

You have to keep us posted.

She is asleep.
I keep creeping upstairs to make sure she hasn't smuggled the cat up, or got in the dogs bed or cut her hair.

So far, so good.

There is no doubt in my mind that she will try and join in the match tomorrow.
Either that or she will be in there at half time giving the team talk grin

She's going to help ds2 hand out the half time oranges, she's quite excited about her "job"

It will be interesting......

I fell asleep on the sofa earlier on, I think I'll have to drag myself to bed soon.

I am hoping she will not feel the need to shout an inch from my face at 3am.
But I will be expecting it tonight, so hopefully I won't jump out of bed screaming

ExitPursuedByADragon Sat 14-Sep-13 22:45:26

Ssssshhhhh

ExitPursuedByADragon Sat 14-Sep-13 22:45:58

Aach. I miss that stage.

Chubfuddler Sat 14-Sep-13 22:50:14

All of you saying you miss that stage.

You think you do

But you don't.

You really really don't.

JewelFairies Sat 14-Sep-13 22:52:27

Awwwww, feeling nostalgic (as the owner of a 3 1/2 year old who has suddenly turned into a sensible and mature being grin)

I think you miss it because you only remember the good bits.

The reality is somewhat different, as I have discovered grin

mineofuselessinformation Sat 14-Sep-13 22:53:09

So Tantrums, when you go to bed, are you taking all the animals in the house, their beds and food and all sharp objects with you?

ExitPursuedByADragon Sat 14-Sep-13 22:53:53

I do. How bloody dare you tell me I don't.

<13 year old upstairs on iPad>

All the bloody animals sleep upstairs anyway.
The cat sleeps in the hall.
BigDog sleeps at the end of the bed
LittleDog sleeps on the bed because DH is away on my side of the bed.

I reckon I will wake up tomorrow and friends dd, 2 dogs and a cat are all in BigDogs bed together.

I have hidden the felt tip pens and the scissors though. And emptied and washed the dogs bowls.

PrincessFlirtyPants Sat 14-Sep-13 23:03:32

This is hilarious, feeling so sorry for you Tantrums

Book Monday off work and have a lie in? Think you may need it!

Night night Tantrums
Night night Tantrumspooches
Night night JOYFUL little friendsDD

Thank you all so VERY Much

flowers

MrsWembley Sat 14-Sep-13 23:09:16

As the owner of a 4.3 and a 2.3 yr old, I can tell you you honest don't miss it, really you don't.

I absolutely agree, you think you do, coz in retrospect they were soooo cute and all the funny things they did were soooo funny when you told your friends and you lie there in the evening thinking about how wonderful they are and all the wonderful things they can do, then it starts to dawn on you that it's all about to happen again and you think, in a Bruce Willis, world's-about-to-end-again-and-I should-have-known-coz-I've-been-here-before sort of moment...

'shit.'

Talkinpeace Sat 14-Sep-13 23:10:30

tears streaming down my face with laughter

teenagers do just need wifi and food

3 year olds are so much funnier

ExitPursuedByADragon Sat 14-Sep-13 23:11:10

This too will pass.

Now suck it up.

januaryjojo Sat 14-Sep-13 23:38:44

She sounds absolutely brilliant, hard work but brilliant!!!

not place marking for tomorrow at all, nuh uh!

HugAndRoll Sat 14-Sep-13 23:57:16

I wish I was as fun as you tantrums.

butterflyflyaway Sun 15-Sep-13 01:36:59

grin She sounds like a huge ball of energy

Is she up yet?? <yawns>

Thank you so much for this thread. I no longer mind that I cannot sleep, and have instead been sat here CRYING with laughter! grin

SquidgyMummy Sun 15-Sep-13 06:48:16

Marking Place to hear how the football match goes!

JollySleepyGiant Sun 15-Sep-13 07:05:57

I am so so impressed that you took her to soft play. That was brave. DS is 2.4. He has given himself a black eye at soft play on THREE separate occasions.

Good luck today.

Cerisier Sun 15-Sep-13 07:09:51

I am guessing the football match will involve even more mud. Hope this morning goes well!

jetstar Sun 15-Sep-13 07:41:52

Is she awake yet??

SkiSchoolRun Sun 15-Sep-13 07:47:37

Brilliant thread! You sound like a great friend.

The little girl is perfectly personifying as does my DD2 my soap-box argument that it is children who (like dogs!) need daily doses of good food, fresh air and exercise not "boys" as "girls sit and colour in prett my dresses all day long".

Have a nice day today.

Happiestinwellybobs Sun 15-Sep-13 07:55:30

This is hilarious, or at least that's what I thought until I realised that this will be DD in a few months. We heard the words "spirited", "whirlwind" and "character" at 12 months. Now I realise that the people who said that to me, were probably breathing a sigh of relief that their DC were the sit still kind of children grin

At 2, we have had a face covered in black pen - apparently we were putting make up on, the dog is pulled from one place to the next, instructed to play buses with her, wear hats, sunglasses etc. (thankfully he adores her!)

As i arrived home from a long day at nursery, my neighbour asked me whether she had a nap at nursery - all while DD was tearing round and round their garden like an aeroplane. When I said yes, she looked at DD who clearly still had bundles of energy, and suggested I drop the nap smile

Definitely brave of you to take her to soft play! I avoid them like the plague, unless I go in with her, as inevitably she tries to slips off to go and see what's happening behind the reception desk or in the kitchen.

ZacharyQuack Sun 15-Sep-13 08:00:16

<tiptoes in>

WAKE UP DOGGIES!!!!!!

<tiptoes out>

Yamyoid Sun 15-Sep-13 08:05:24

grin good morning entertainment. Thanks.

thistlelicker Sun 15-Sep-13 08:07:35

Amazing!! I'm currently pregnant with dc1 and dreading toddler stage and I'm only 6 weeks gone hahahahahaha !! Hope she behaves at football!!

grin

HoneyDragon Sun 15-Sep-13 08:48:28

Auntie Tantrums

You are going to a naice family football match aren't you? There isn't any chance she's going to learn new interesting words from the overly keen and instructive fathers when they express their unhappiness at the referees decision?

Or, have you got ear muffs?

LittleCatZ Sun 15-Sep-13 08:51:37

I have a spirited 3 year old DS2. So I have been enjoying that girls are as hard work too. I now know why people have only 1 child or stop after 2!
DS1 gives me probably false hope that DS2 might eventually get a little easier...
I was 1 of 4 children and DS2 has exhausted me of the desire for any more. This thread has helped a lot with the question of whether to try for a pretty girl who sits and draws grin

IceNoSlice Sun 15-Sep-13 09:00:01

She is so going to try to smuggle the cat to the football match...

Thrustbadger Sun 15-Sep-13 09:15:35

I looked after a friends 3yo ds for an afternoon years ago. Lost him in the middle of Chamonix, was running up and down the street shouting for him. He came racing out a toy shop with armfuls of toys. grin

When dd was 3yo I could look at stuff while shopping without worrying she'd take off on her own. I'd thought that was normal. Was very surprised to find myself in charge of a toddler who bolted at every opportunity.

Reminds me of the weekend shock that DH and I looked after DNephew and DBabyNeice for DSis before we had any ourselves

What were we thinking ?! ....

And how did it happen that we went on to have our own two ?! shock grin

It's beyond rational !

Not such a naice football match I suspect honey

I can see a lot of explaining about naughty words that we don't say out loud grin

The boys playing are 15.
Their language is worse than the parents grin

We have had the discussion about why the animals can't come to the match 17 times since 7am.

I suspect we will have it a few more times before we leave at 10.30.

She did her own hair again this morning, today she looks like a unicorn.
And she is dressed entirely in red as it is the team colour and ds1 made the mistake of telling her she could be the team mascot.

She doesn't know what a mascot it.

That hasn't stopped her stomping round the house shouting "I am a mascot I am"

Groovee Sun 15-Sep-13 09:50:04

PMSL, can't wait for the match report.

grin just keeps getting better

I think she is wonderful!!

JewelFairies Sun 15-Sep-13 10:44:43

Could you maybe keep her and offer one of your dogs in return? grin

"I am a mascot I am" - crying with laughter here. AuntieTantrums - you win the internet this weekend. And mumsnet.

Antidote Sun 15-Sep-13 10:59:15

Loving I am a mascot.

If you are at a lose end next weekend I have a very enthusiastic 3year old who would love to come and play / test your garden perimeter/pick all your locks / insist your whole house play football in his special way....

hotbot Sun 15-Sep-13 11:02:34

Here for the love of god, take mine..........

I have just read the best bits of this thread out to ds1 - he laughed his socks off, and then said, "3-year-olds are just like drunk teenagers, aren't they!"

nicename Sun 15-Sep-13 11:06:55

I want to come and stay at your place. It sounds fun!

Crying with laughter having just read the whole thread - cant wait to hear the update after the match!!!

Babylon - I think AuntieTantrums has interweb capability on her phone - so there is every chance of updates during the match.

"Oh god, friend's dd has just run on and told the opposition's goalie off for swearing - 'That is a rude word, boy, and you should go on the naughty step'"!

MrsDeVere Sun 15-Sep-13 11:30:29

I have a spare three year old for next weekend if you are stuck?

His favourite thing just now is singing 'I KILLED MY BABY AND IT FEELS SO BAD, I GUESS MY RACE IS RUN......I fought the law and THE LAW WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON'

in Sainsburys.

I am sure you live just down the road from me....

MrsOakenshield Sun 15-Sep-13 11:31:02

this thread is totally the gift that keeps on giving, can't wait to hear how the match goes.

I was just thinking that auntie tantrums may not want to be on her phone if friends dd isn't tethered securely!!!!

I can just imagine her now running across the pitch shouting I AM THE MASCOT I AM, and auntie tantrums having to retrieve her!!!!

sydlexic Sun 15-Sep-13 11:36:20

All of those that think it's funny wait until you have a GD like that it was exhausting, and then another one came along and another and another.

You sound lovely for giving your friend a break Tantrums, no wonder she needs one! And for providing us with so much entertainment grin

LaVitaBellissima Sun 15-Sep-13 11:42:06

Fab friend, fab friend! I have nearly 3 year old identical twins, do you fancy them next weekend? grin

DameDeepRedBetty Sun 15-Sep-13 11:45:34

So pleased to see this moved to Classics.

superlambanana Sun 15-Sep-13 12:00:46

Tantrums you have brightened up my weekend.

Could you turn this into a book? smile

tb Sun 15-Sep-13 12:02:15

So, Tantrums has your visitor learned lots of lovely new words this morning?

grin

I think her and my toddler could be separated at birth! I will send him up as well if you want?

Loving this thread grin Currently almost 16w with my first and wondering what I've let myself in for!

headsspinningforachange Sun 15-Sep-13 12:33:08

grin can't wait to hear about the match

K8Middleton Sun 15-Sep-13 12:34:53

Hahaha grin

I am going to print this thread and hand it to anyone who looks baffled when I proclaim looking after the baby "a doddle compared with looking after a 3/4 year old".

You need eyes in the back of your head and lightening reactions. Not to mention a very, very lax approach to the home grin

AuntieMaggie Sun 15-Sep-13 12:58:34

Brilliant!

ThePost Sun 15-Sep-13 13:30:15

Dare I ask how things went at the football match...?

tb Sun 15-Sep-13 14:03:46

According to my laptop, it's 47 minutes and counting to the first glass grin

11 minutes and counting.

Are we in danger of a ticker on mumsnet? shock

I think she must be slurping the vino right now!!!!!

< dum, dum, dum, dum, diddly dum !! >

Distrustinggirlnow Sun 15-Sep-13 15:05:55

Auntie Tantrums

I keep popping back to read an update, and for the third time you have me crying with laughter!

You really should write a book. She sounds the most adorable little girl. How quick it all flies by wistfully wondering if I could adopt

'I am a mascot, I am....' gringringrin dissolves into laughter again

She must be on glass 3 by now!

tb Sun 15-Sep-13 15:17:43

Could this be like the thread - think it was in Relationships - where the OP posted that she'd just seen her DH masturbating in the garden shed involving the use of a hedgehog?

It kept going for quite a while until she came clean and said that it was all a complete windup.

stubbornstains Sun 15-Sep-13 15:27:27

No, I think it all rings pretty true... (DS staged a pitch invasion of the Big Kids' running race at pre-school sports day, and I had to sprint after him and rugby tackle him to the ground...)

<pours glass of wine>

<collapses on sofa>

She is at home.

She ran on the pitch at the beginning to give ds1 a kiss
Sang "I am a mascot, I am" non stop
Handed out the half time oranges.

And when I took her home, she cried.

Ill be back in a bit, I need to drink first.

Enjoy the drink. What a fab kid.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Sun 15-Sep-13 15:42:29

Awww! I bet that wine tastes pretty bloody good though.

Can I tell my own toddler story, since I can't find anywhere else to put it?

DH and I take it in turns to look after 21mo DS on the weekends while the other has a quiet breakfast. My turn: big cup of tea, pile of toast, snuggle up in bed with a book: lovely.

DS escapes from DH, scrambles up onto bed, starts bouncing up and down vigorously and almost immediately loses his balance and does a perfect faceplant into my plate of toast. He didn't even have time to bring his arms up to break his fall - just boing, boing, rigid topple, splat. He resurfaced with a slice of toast plastered to the side of his face, jam all over his forehead, and the toddler sadface they wear when they know they're about to get told off. I laughed until my stomach hurt.

lazarusb Sun 15-Sep-13 15:43:04

What a fantastic thread! Never mind the dcs, I'm coming to stay with you next weekend - you sound like great fun grin I will bring wine obviously wink

She wants to come back again.

In fact she said to me "auntie tantrums, when are you picking me up again?"

ClaraOswald Sun 15-Sep-13 15:50:42

Was the answer "When you're eighteen"?

Oh and she got very upset when ds1 got pushed over and I had to drag her back by her good to stop her going on the pitch.

And she had hot chocolate and a bacon roll.

And then decided to tell me that "mummy doesn't let me have hot chocolate that is too too hot. Or sugar in it. Or ketchup. I love being with you, I eat very nice things"

So, yet another thing I have done wrong grin

MamaTo3Boys Sun 15-Sep-13 15:57:15

Hahaha this thread is hilarious! grin

You'll be getting texts later from your friend wondering what on earth her DD is talking about. She'll be telling her all sorts grin

K8Middleton Sun 15-Sep-13 15:57:21

She can't come back. I'm posting you a 4 year old boy right now. You'll be too busy to look after her too.

LovesBeingOnHoliday Sun 15-Sep-13 16:01:01

You are the best, she didn't miss home

MerryMarigold Sun 15-Sep-13 16:05:13

You're both brilliant. And yes, she should be the star of a programme. She is TOTALLY more interesting than Peppa Pig.

Aw brings back happy memories of my nannas pretending to be a dog with silk scarf in knickers and my own water/food bowl.....

My poor nanna. I loved it. Made me tear up. That's what child hood is made of Tantrums. If her mum whiners she's a Well I'm sure you can fill in for me.

Thumbwitch Sun 15-Sep-13 16:12:13

Awww - just found this thread - AuntieTantrums, you are a Saint!
Hope that your friend paid you well in wine etc. grin

Her DD does sound like a lovely little girl though, albeit a massive handful.

I say this as a parent to 1 5yo boy, who was never like this, and 1 not-quite-1yo boy who is almost certain to be just like this when he's a little bigger.

Jesus - did your DS eat the face-planted toast? grin

NationMcKinley Sun 15-Sep-13 16:15:33

Anyone else think that Aunty Tantrums Day Care for Spirited Children has a nice ring to it? grin

Enjoy your wine! wine

MamaTo3Boys Sun 15-Sep-13 16:32:12

Nation - it does have a nice ring to it grin

Aunty Tantrums should defo be in the child care business.

I add my 4yr old ds to with K8Middleton only to keep him company of course.

And DS fired me today from being mummy as I agree to his demands of chocolate polite request for food.

Did your ds1 let her hug him on the pitch? grin

BellaVita Sun 15-Sep-13 16:49:37

And phew...

BellaVita Sun 15-Sep-13 16:49:52

grin

LookingThroughTheFog Sun 15-Sep-13 16:50:40

I want an Aunty Tantrums!

sassytheFIRST Sun 15-Sep-13 16:55:32

I bet her mum looks 10 years younger after a 24 hour break. And as for auntie Tantrums...grin

Yep, ds1 carried her round the pitch on his shoulders afterwards.

I feel 20 years older. I probably look it as well.

Friend have me a bottle of wine and a box of chocs, I suspect she may have had some idea how the weekend went grin

MrsFrederickWentworth Sun 15-Sep-13 17:15:24

Tantrums, brilliant. Every team should have one. Bet all the boys secretly thought she was v sweet

Her mother will scream with laughter.

Pat yourself on the back.

And several glasses. And early bed.

HugAndRoll Sun 15-Sep-13 17:21:25

Every child should have an auntie tantrums. I said before I wish I was like you, I really do.

I think ds2 will be like this and I'm not sure I will have the energy.

LadyClariceCannockMonty Sun 15-Sep-13 17:26:30

Been lurking but I have to come out and say this thread is a stone-cold classic.

Tantrums, you've basically given her the best weekend of her little life.

I was a bit worried about the cat's whiskers though.

Have you still got all your pets or did she manage to smuggle one home? Have you done a head count? grin

You must show your friend this thread! Thanks for the weekend's entertainment. When's she coming again?

SoupDragon Sun 15-Sep-13 17:42:56

[happy sigh]

SoupDragon Sun 15-Sep-13 17:43:33

I suspect you'll need to explain to your friend exactly what went on or she'll only have the 3yo version to go on.

IslaValargeone Sun 15-Sep-13 17:44:34

I think aunty Tantrums may well be lying on the sofa comatose.

Talkinpeace Sun 15-Sep-13 17:47:01

am I allowed to get you to look after my kids as DH has a broken finger (caused by DS)
they are teens but I suddenly realise that swapping kids may be the answer to enjoying the little sods ....

you LOVE to hand her back, but we all loved you having her

maybe we should all appreciate what we have by mixing it up a bit ...

Jbck Sun 15-Sep-13 17:53:41

Aw the wee tasmanian devil poppet.

Well done Auntie Tantrums, enjoy the vino.

IceNoSlice Sun 15-Sep-13 18:18:28

Lovely thread, AuntieTantrums, you're ace. grin

MrsOakenshield Sun 15-Sep-13 18:32:16

you know that for at least the next month your friend's loving care of her DD will endlessly be compared unfavourably with Auntie Tantrums':

But Mummy, Auntie Tantrums gives me hot chocolate AND marshmallows before bed!

But Mummy, I get to sleep with Big Doggie at Auntie Tantrums, why can't I here?

But Mummy, Auntie Tantrums lets me have 17 ponytails and a green face!

misdee Sun 15-Sep-13 18:40:03

when can you have her again?

BlackberrySeason Sun 15-Sep-13 18:52:00

So cute grin

Classic!

ZingWantsCake Sun 15-Sep-13 19:05:59

and they lived happily ever after...

the end?

grin

ExitPursuedByADragon Sun 15-Sep-13 19:55:53

Congrats Tants. Great weekend. Great thread.

Great grin

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sun 15-Sep-13 20:35:49

Christ! in 3.5 years time I will have a 3yo. I will be nearly 42. WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!??? shock confused

Bloody marvellous thread. Tantrums you sound like an AMAZING aunty! grin

ExitPursuedByADragon Sun 15-Sep-13 20:41:26

You know what you have done Saggy. And so do we.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Sun 15-Sep-13 20:53:32

Thumbwitch I peeled it off him and ate it grin

It was all in his hair and everything, so as soon as he got a bit hot he spent the rest of the day smelling like gone-over butter.

ZingWantsCake Sun 15-Sep-13 20:55:34

I have a 3 year old. he was nicking cake last night.

this morning DS5 had a piece of cake in his hand. he was fast asleep .

and of course there was the time when my 3 oldest (then aged 7, 5 & 3.5 or so), whilst sharing a bath got hold of a box of tampons somehow.

by the time I went to check on them they had soaked and thrown all the tampons on the walls and the ceiling.

I can not describe the sight of that. grin

steppemum Sun 15-Sep-13 20:56:04

This thread has been amazing, tantrums you are a star.

You need to tell your friend what our head used to tell all new parents at school

''I promise not to believe everything your child tells me about home, if you promise not to believe everything they tell you about school!''

Please move it to classics!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss Sun 15-Sep-13 20:57:40

grin

saggy if you don't know what you have done, you might accidentally do it again grin

HUGE thank you to tantrums for one of the most uplifting threads ever. The sheer JOY of being 3 so well described. You need to write a book, you write so well.
But PHEW! Thank you for going through all of that for our entertainment smile

wine

MrsOakenshield Sun 15-Sep-13 21:06:41

Saggy (love the name, we are big Bagpuss fans in this house) - I'm 42 with a 3.8 year old, she is a positive dullard in comparison to this child!