Parental kindnesses you recall...(225 Posts)
When I was about 10, I'd been out playing with friends. And had had an argument the substance of which escapes me
20 30 ok 37 years later.
Came home in tears. This was unusual. Mum figured she couldn't make things better, but plainly so wanted to.
So she went to the Music Centre and put on a record (I don't recall her ever doing this ever in any other circumstance). It was my Wurzels LP. Which I loved. She was just trying to do something that made me happy..
Anyone else have comparable memories? I really hope in X years my kids will have their own versions...
I'm out in Covent Garden, and two drinks down, and inclined to mawkish reminiscence...
My Dad sang 'You are my Sunshine' to me every night before bed. If that counts.
Yep. That definitely counts, sparklingbrook!
Sparkling my dad did that too!
Are you a long lost sister?
My Dad made up stories about a dog called Fluff and his owner Mr. Chuffles. I tell them to ds now.
Ooh I only thought I had a brother bitten. He also sang 'My Bonny lies over the Ocean'.
Mum sent me and my brother to bed without dinner for being awful.
She then came up with chicken sandwiches for us as obviously felt guilty!
Not a kindness as such but... at a family do my sister and I were reminiscing about times our mum had got cross/shouted at us. I think I could remember one occasion and my sister could remember two. We mentioned this to our mum as an illustration of what a kindly, patient person she was.
She got really upset because we could remember a time when she'd been cross! Daft old biddy. It was Mothers' Day as well, which made us feel so much worse.
I remember being about 12/13 and I had the most epically shit day at school. Five late homeworks (I'd been ill but no-one cared at school), an order mark because of it AND an art detention for forgetting my overall. And that's me totally outed to anyone who went to my school I was a Good Girl and I'd never had that cumulatively in the rest of my school life. I came home expecting epic trouble but my mum took me late night shopping instead to cheer me up. I think she bought me books...
Not my own parents but my best friends mum took me under her wing when I was a teem. I specifically remember her taking us away to Disneyland and giving me spending money, inviting me round for a Chinese, making sure she had the only food in that I liked (very fussy eater!) and getting me really thoughtful birthday presents. She was so lovely
Yep- I'm missing my parents too JITCV (great name by the way).
Not kindness as such but my Mum always said to me at bedtime 'have a nice sleep I'll see you in the morning'
she still does even though I'm 41 I say the same to my DD now.
My mum was pretty shitty but most Saturdays she'd send me to the odeon £1 movie and/or swimming plus money for lunch.
Every Tuesday without fail we'd go for a late lunch in the tesco cafe after school then I'd throw 3 things in the trolley - smoked sausage, frozen profiteroles and a deep pan pepperoni pizza.
She wasn't great but she tried at times.
My mum used to run up and down the stairs on Christmas eve ringing little bells so we'd think Santa was on his way.
I used to make my dad lunch on Tuesdays. He always used to come in and give me a kiss and a hug. Miss him!
Thursday night=chocolate night. One bar each Dad bought us on the way home from work. i had a mint cracknel or a Frys Chocolate Cream. No other chocolate except that night and it was heaven.
I hear you, Superman..
Am aware that this could sound smug- because I had lovely parents and a kind and caring childhood. Not everyone is so blessed, I know...
Not my Mum. She wasn't very kind. My Nan was lovely. If I was sick my Mum would drop me there as she didn't like looking after sick children.
I remember being put in cool, starched sheets with a hot water bottle while my Nan made me cheese straws to cheer me up.
Am trying to create a memory for our kids..
..have instituted weekend Compulsory Family Fun.
Children are ordered in mock stern voices into the snug (they comply with heads hung low)- and are then forced to watch a film they will like whilst being plied with enough E numbers to light up a small town...
Ok. Sometimes I choose the film. Pretty In Pink this week...
When I was 10 my DM and her friend told me we were going out to walk her friend's dog, they actually took me to a riding school where I spent the day learning how to care for horses and had a riding lesson, they then arranged for me to have lessons every week.
It wasn't a present for a special occasion, my DM just knew how much I loved horses.
My nan (who is basically like my second mum)would let me go and watch telly with her of I couldn't sleep, I would fall asleep in her bed, everytime
Them when I was learning to drive, she would buy me a present every time I failed my driving theory test, an even 'better' present when I passed, she did the same when I failed my practical driving test and then took me out shopping when I passed (second time) I didn't fail just to get presents..honest!
When I was a kid , I wanted a pony for as long as I could remember. Had the riding lessons , but asked every birthday , every Christmas , every possible occasion , but the answer was always no , because she thought I'd get sick of it after a few months with all the care one would take . But we came to a compromise , where I took on a share in a pony , Saturday to Tuesday , and the owner did Wednesday to Friday . It was the coldest winter of the year and I was 12 . Every day I went up , mucked out , made up enormous straw beds , dragged barrels of water down the A3 when the water froze , groomed her to within an inch of her life . I loved that pony so much. Then one morning I went down , to find the pony and all her things had gone . The owner had done a moonlight flit , owing money all over the place. I was devastated .
Mum was gutted as well . The following day, she took me out to Sainsburys. On the way, she suddenly realised I'd left some stuff at the yard , and said 'oh we'll go and get it , you won't need it down there. '. I'd left it in my old pony's stable , which the yard owner had shut both doors . When I opened the door I nearly had a heart attack . For there stood a beautiful palomino pony , with her ears forwards , looking at me . Mum had been so incensed , as had the yard owner , they'd colluded with the dealer down the road to find a pony , which she paid for out of an inheritance. 32 years I had her, she was my best friend .
Plomino That's had me in tears...
My dad used to work long, hard shifts as an engineer and must have been exhausted at the end of the day, but he would still stop at the little shop on his way home to get me a little something every day. Usually just something tiny like a packet of Polos or a pencil, a comic on a Friday, and once the most gorgeous enamelled butterfly brooch that I still treasure. It was only when I started working myself that I realised how shattered he must have been, but he still stopped. Every day. And I probably just took it for granted
Plomino. Tears in my eyes too. That's lovely.
Not smug at all goth my mum still isn't great but she's still trying
my patience she's a whole lot easier now we're both adults though!
It's lovely to see the 'other' side too
This will probably out me but here goes...
I was in a physical fight with a boy at secondary school. Year 8 I think. I didn't start it, he just jumped on me
I told DM when I got home and her response was to find out his address (god knows how!) and sign him up to receive loads of junk mail about erectile dysfunction and Viagra!!
Cheered me right up and I still PMSL thinking about it!
We were permanently skint throughout my childhood, my parents weren't great with money. I remember once my mum had received one shitty letter too many and she lost it. She said 'right! That's it! I will not live like this! Get your jackets on kids, (eyesweep of room, to include my sisters random and bemused friend) we are going out for tea!'.
And we did. To the local Chinese, where we had a slap up meal. Bonkers really, but fun at the time.
Plomino, that is officially Heartwarming Story Of The Week!
plomino that made me cry <wipes eyes>
Dad took me to the hairdresser against my mum's wishes throughout my teens, just to give me the chance to look normal ie not have one long plait down to the floor. He must have got a real earbashing from mum, but he thought it was worth it to make me happy.
When I was aged 9 - 10 we lived in America for a year. I hated going to school there as the children teased me about my accent all the time and I felt really lonely at school. I used to have to catch the school bus each morning for a long ride which I also hated.
One morning I managed to accidentally miss the bus so I had to go back home. My mum said she'd have to drive me in so we set off but on the way we passed the shopping mall and we went there instead and had a lovely day out and I remember my mum buying me new clothes. In fact I remember it all very clearly.
NB: I hated American education so much I turned down the chance to study there as part of my degree and was one of about 3 people out of over 60 who didn't go! I do like Americans though, no offence intended.
Just remembered, my grandad would buy me a Where's Wally magazine every week and the binder it came with. Each week was about a different country/era of time, including trivia/facts, stickers, puzzles etc and I must've collected them for a good few years because I had about 5-6 binders full. He also taught me how to do my shoe laces
Spiderlight, that makes me cry. And that you still have your enamel brooch - oh wailing and sobbing now.
This thread is lovely <wipes eyes> <hugs Internet>
Every time we went for a day trip somewhere nice I'd get travel sick and vomit on my clothes and backup clothes too. A good proportion of photos from my childhood are of me flopping about in my Dad's enormous warm jumper and my Dad shivering in a t-shirt.
Thank you all- lovely stories indeed.
Let's hope our children have comparable memories when they look back as adults.
My DM used to buy me and my DSis a bag of midget gems as a reward for every time we went to the doctors.
When I failed my first driving test, Mum dropped everything and took me out for fried egg on toast and even let me cry in the cafe and didn't look at all embarrassed by me.
When My DSis got dumped in her first year of uni, she took it quite badly and wasn't eating or coping well at all, he was her first love. My DM travelled on 4 trains to stay with her for a few days, got her some shopping and comforted her. She even missed my birthday because of it, but had left me a lovely postcard. I didn't mind because she had to give her love where the need was greatest.
Before I could drive and had to take a 40 minute bus ride to and from work every day, my Dad would come and meet me at the bus stop so I didn't have to walk home by myself in the dark. He also made my sandwiches every morning and I'd never asked him to. He did the same for my DSis too.
Both my parents are two of the most generous and selfless people I know. I should tell them this more!
My mum knitted a whole wardrobe of clothes for my Teddybear despite hating knitting! I really remember starting infant school and had a poo accident and she was so kind about it, no tutting or disapproval, just discreetly sorted it.
My mum once sat me down and told her she loved me more than anything in the world and hugged me and cried.
Every time I saw her (mediation- I was in foster care. I think she really did love me, but was a drug addict and neglected me and was also mentally ill and out of control) she would give me a diary entry from her pregnancy with me. I'd take it home and read it with my foster mum and cry a lot, and there'd always be a special note with it and a chocolate or something.
She was a bad mum. Abusive, neglectful, addicted and a terrible parent. I was in care for three years and I shouldn't have been sent back. But she had some lovely moments which I will always treasure. Part of me hates her, and out of 18 years I can list the good moments off the top of my head, but there WERE good moments.
Once, when I was 14 (and living with her full time), my dog was run over. I was devastated. Life was still shit with my mum and a new baby and bad school stuff. She hugged me and comforted me and on my birthday, she gave me a surprise. I was sure it was a dog. There'd been so many hints about it. I was absolutely CERTAIN. So, my mum, looking all excited, revealed a....bicycle pump. My bike was unused as the tires were deflated and we hadn't ever got round to do anything and stuff. I cried. Buckets and buckets. When she told me that I'd better hop on it and go down to X's house (a few streets down) and she'd come with me, and she would wheel the bike back. Y'know- cycling with a kitten isn't safe, is it? I cried, buckets and buckets once again. It was lovely.
Not from childhood, this happened as an adult actually. I had just moved to a new city, hundreds of miles away from my family when something horrible happened (don't want to say what, but it was a big deal for me). I phoned my dad and was in a real state on the phone. I just wanted to talk things through, and it was about 8pm at this point. After spending a few minutes calming me down, he got straight in the car and drove for 4 hours so he could be with me. He hates driving in the dark.
Another thing, which isn't exactly a kindness, but always makes me think how awesome my dad is...when I was about 3 or 4 I got my head stuck in the railings at the local park. Proper cast iron railings and I couldn't get my head out. There was no faffing about telephoning the fire brigade from my dad; he just grabbed the railings and pulled them apart. Panic over! I reminded him of this years later when mum was watching Eastenders and one of children got their head stuck in railings, and big supposedly tough guy Phil Mitchell had to 'phone the fire brigade.
My dad used to make up stories about two characters called Erkum Derkum and Baccarapalegs when we were camping. At least I think that's how they were spelt, I never saw them written down.
They had all sorts of crazy adventures, namely the sort of things that my brother and I had got up to during the day but with a slightly odd twist on them. We didn't ever realise why they had done the same as us, we were just amazed that they had!
We lived with my grandparents and my sweet grandpa used to sneak Kitkats up to us when we had friends for a sleepover. He was usually the silent
grumpy type, so it was extra kind of him.
Sparkling, my grandmother did that - we used to call her Sunshine Nanny!
My dad used to make up stories for us about naked people who lived in the garden, till we were quite old! One time the story incorporated a poo sandwich, to our great delight!
Baccarapalegs didn't ever eat a poo sandwich!!
Although my mum had two to three jobs throughout my childhood, when we were together we were truly together. She taught me how to knit, sew, embroider, crochet etc, etc so that even though she couldn't afford to buy me toys, I always had something special to play with... (Feeling teary eyed now....)
My parents made me feel loved and special every day of their lives
eg Every Christmas Eve Dad would sneak out into the back garden with two toy bells.Mum would take me to my bedroom window to 'listen to the sleigh-bells'.
The 'fairies' left me little presents under the rhubarb leaves.
When I was grown up my Mum saved every half crown she took on her market stall and saved them in bisuit tins till there was enough for my first car.
She flew out to Sierra Leone on her own to be with me when dc was born.
My dad was an invalid [MS] and didn't work after I was 11 and Mum worked at two jobs to see that I never went without anything at my poshish Girls' Grammar School.
I hope I was half the parent they were.History repeated itself when dh2 my children's father also had MS!
My Dad would never, ever let me go to bed without a story. And he would read until he was hoarse, then make a cup of tea and read some more. He was endlessly tolerant of me and my friends trashing his house and taking over when we were teenagers. Used to step over our sleeping bodies all over his house without waking us to get to work.
In the summer when I couldn't sleep (about 6/7), my parents used to let me come down and eat their supper without my younger sister. I loved it and it felt so special.
Also, if my dad was working Saturdays, my mum would shout and tell me and my sister to go and get in her bed and we would do impressions (she did a great Zippy from Rainbow) and she'd make us laugh with silliness. She was quite a strict mum who stood for no nonsense but I really remember those little times she was with us just messing about/letting us stay up late etc.
When I was a child my dad used to sing and play there was an old lady on his guitar. He stopped playing for years, but when they sold the family house, I'd gone back to pack up my stuff, I was in bath and dad found his old guitar and started strumming. I asked him to play there was an old lady and after some persuasion he sat outside the bathroom and did it for me.
I was 22!
Not thought of that for years, but I was so touched, a really lovely memory
For my tenth birthday my darling dad gave me a dozen long stemmed red roses. He said he wanted the first man who ever gave me flowers to be the one who would love me all their life.
One day at school my bag that I had scrimped and saved to buy got stolen while we were in school assembly. My mum who hated fashion and couldn't understand why you just couldn't take your things around in a plastic container bought me a replacement that she gave me the day I left on an overseas trip that SHE had already scrimped and saved to send me on.
My Dad used to sing there was an old lady too plus the doh rey me song from the Sound of Music before I went to bed.
Just knowing I Was loved every single day. They went without a lot for me And my brother.
In the school holidays going every day for a week by two trains and a long walk to Bognor because we liked it so much... Getting up early , getting home tired and very late and then doing it all again the very next day just for us. Hope I turn out half as good a Parent.
I must have been about 10, and came down with a nasty cold. I hated staying off school (nerd) so was pretty miserable and wouldn't eat. Anyway I must have been on the mend eventually as my Mum did a first and took me to the pasty shop round the corner and I did my usual staring-at-the-lovely-cream-cakes-in-the-display-counter thing, knowing there was no way I'd ever get one (never enough money for such frivolities!)
That particular day, my Mum said pick one.
We walked out with a biiig chocolate cream cake
that I never did eat much of and every time I opened the fridge to poke admire it, my Mum would say 'eat me!' in a really funny voice.
Now it's our private joke that anything as tasty-looking as that cake is 'eat me' food.
That's a ridiculously meaningless story and she has done way more obvious examples born out of love but for some reason it's always stuck with me as an example of how nurturing and caring she is
My best friends mum took me under her wing too. I owe her a great debt of gratitude. She had a lot on her plate as it was but she took me on holidays, outings and tolerated me being at her house every day. She was more of a mum to me than my own.
Another one I've remembered. My mum used to do an Easter egg hunt for us every year. She'd write little clues for each egg
My mum used to draw smiley faces on fruit in my lunch box with marker pen. Dad always built us sand cars on the beach. And many more memories beside. Nice thread :-)
Ah. My dad used to take me and my dsis swimming in the sea whenever he could. He had a daily round trip commute of over four hours and he must have just wanted to sleep on weekends but instead would get his surfboard and paddle us out to beyond the breakwaters and let us two swim about for hours.
I remember once he made us go back in after only half an hour or so. Once we were on the beach he pointed out the shark that was merrily chomping at the seaweed . I will always remember how calm he was and didn't let us know at all that there was something to be scared about.
the four of us would have afternoons where we would all read on my parents huge bed and eventually fall asleep. My parents would then leave me and dsis and wake us up only when the braai was ready.
Ah this thread has made me all nostalgic (off to ring parents now)
I was lucky enough to grow up in cornwall, on dads days off in the hot weather, they used tp pick me and my siister up from school with a loaded cool box and go to the beach for tea, we'd build a fire, dad would go off fishing for mackerel and bring them back fresh to cook over the fire. with hot potatoes and dough twists for pudding. ( basic cinnamon dough wrapped around sticks and baked in the fire dipped in honey )
When I was about 9 or 10 my parents bought a video player. We all gathered round the TV in the living room while Dad set it up and then he pulled out a video. He said oh you get a blank video with the player, shall we watch it? My sister and I were like noooooooooooo that's not how it works but he played up the 'old man' role and proceeded to put in the 'blank' video. All of a sudden the opening scene to 'Grease', my ultimate favourite film, came on the screen... 'Love is a Many Splendoured Thing'! I bawled my eyes out with happiness for the duration of the film. Best day ever.
I had a car accident whilst visiting a friend miles from home and broke my pelvis and other bones. My wonderful, wonderful dad drove to see me in hospital every night - it was a four hour round trip and I was in hospital for six weeks. He will have been dead for three years this Saturday. I miss him so much.
When I still lived at home, I had 2 jobs, a FT and PT, which meant on a Saturday, I would work from 10 am to 6pm at one job, and then go straight to my second and work 6.30 pm till 2-3 am....and be on my feet all day.
Without fail, when I got home, my Dad would have waited up for me, have a cup of tea, a bacon sandwich, and my foot spa ready.
My Dad is a typical Northern ex miner bloke. HE would not say anything, just wait for me to get in, give me my tea and sarnie, grunt at me and go to bed. I love my Dad!
Even now when he and my Mam visit, they always bring me tea bags and bacon and usually fill up my freezer too!
Or the time he drove 200 miles to help me move half a mile down the road!
My parents were strict and distant. I never felt loved but when I was 9 my father brought home a puppy who was my best friend for 15 years.
My dad did lots of kind things, but the only one I can remember now is playing with my friends in the garden on a hot day. Dad came out with some drinks - bitter lemon in highball glasses with the rims frosted with egg white and sugar and tinkly little ice cubes. On a tray.
The other kindness I remember was when I was very homesick on an exchange to France, age 12 or 13. He mum ran a deep bath for me in their huge bathroom and pulled up a rocking chair, rattling on in French. THen she sprinkled her perfume on my pillow. Lovely woman.
I was working on my birthday in my first job and the fax machine started to whirr. My mum had drawn a cake, a bottle of champagne and two paracetamol for the hangover and faxed it to me.
My dad is not one for emotion but in my first term at university he sent me a £100 cheque two weeks before the end of term with a note saying 'I used to have run out of money by now' (I had). Then in my second year he took a quick look at the house I intended living in, went to the nearest hardware store and came back with a length of rope that he tied to the leg of the table by the window, and a large lump hammer, so I could get out if there was a fire.
Oh I should also thank a schoolfriend's father (I never met him) as he was the only reason I passed Maths A/S level! Every night he would patiently explain the homework to his DD and she would then explain it to me.
This thread has made me feel all emotional. My mum and dad are a bit odd sometimes but we were and are loved. My dad knew how much I loved books and would sometimes come home with something he had loved as a child and would write in the front. I treasure them and do the same when I give books.
I just remembered something my grandad did. He bawled me out hugely for something I'd done, he was right but a huge over reaction in my mind. I was really really upset as I'd always seemed hi approval.
I went out that night and came back late (was a family thing that grandad didn't go to), when I got back, going to bed, and grandad had made my bed ready for me and turned on my lamp. I think it was his was of apologising.
I'm loving this thread and all the memories. Funny how so many seem to be about dads!
With my mum, I've always known that I'm the most important thing in her life, she would do anything for me, even now. I adore her, even though she annoys the hell out of me at times but she's simply the best.
This is really inspirational. I feel resolved to be better to my children! What stands out is where parents have prioritised patience, kindness and a sense of fun above the 'duty' aspects of parenting that I tend to be overwhelmed by (do this, don't do that, stop that, don't argue etc). And how children whose parents demonstrated this sort of love for them felt confident.
When we were 6 or 7 and our baby teeth were coming out, when we put one under our pillow we would get a 20p piece but also a letter on a teeny tiny piece of paper in teeny tiny writing from the tooth fairy (I can't remember now which of our parents wrote them). I also remember one Christmas my sister and I got a wendy house for our Christmas present. My parents had somehow managed to assemble the whole thing (it had all those plastic interlocking tubes as a framework) in our bedroom in the dark while we were asleep.
Pimpf - yeah, most of my really heart melting memories or of my Dad.
My Mam was always there....she looked after us when we were sick etc...but was always there...
My Dad used to be a miner...so had long shifts, or we had to be quiet when he was asleep. And he is a quiet man not given to expressing emotions....so, while my Mam told me she loved me, and certainly showed me many little ways..it was all about the actions with my Dad.
My mum, who is very much a "just deal with it and stop crying" type person, sat with me in hospital after I'd had a squint correction age 14. I was in more pain than I'd ever experienced before, and couldn't open my eyes. I was crying and she just let me, and reassured me that my eyes would open again, and did other things, simple things, like help me to have a drink or go to the toilet. She even went to the nurses to ask to remove the eye patch to see if that would help me open them - which it did. She's a nurse too so she wasn't just guessing.
I was terrified of having to stay overnight, and when the doctors and nurses saw how much pain I was in they offered me morphine. Mum was so good, she said, "You can have it LV, but it might make you hallucinate and feel weird, and you'll definitely be in overnight." She just told me straight, and let me decide. I chose to tough it out, and went home later that evening.
I love her for how she was that day, nearly 10 years later. She also made me have the anaesthetic by cannula and not mask as she said it might scare me to have something over my face - she knows me so well! She also made sure, with the help of the staff, that she was the last thing I saw when I went under, and the first when I came round.
I love my whole family so much
I was 23 and living with a friend. Mine night, I was alone and I spotted an enormous spider running underneath my bed. It was huge and I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. So what did I do? I rang my dad of course.
He was 70 and suffering from early dementia. He had had his driving license removed from him on account of his condition. He jumped on his bike, came around, it was about midnight, scooped up the spider, turfed it out, and then went home.
He died three years ago. My precious, loving, kind father. As straight as a rod of iron, such a wonderful gent. Goodness, I miss him.
Well my parents always made a big deal of holidays - even the little holidays we did something. My mom would do crafts with us in the weeks leading up and we'd watch theme movies and decorate the house. Baking and outings, homemade chocolates, hand-sewn costumes...a pile of presents at Christmas.
Its really important to me to make occasions special for my kids now. Some people think that its over the top but I think of that part of my childhood with such fondness...
Not when I a child but when I was grown up. I'd just ended an abusive relationship and was living on my own with my DCs. I had a little gardening job and I decided I needed to go to college for a day a week to learn more about my trade so it could become my living.
My dear dad would drive 100 miles on a Monday night, stay over night so that I could leave early the next morning to get to college. He would then get my DCs ready for school and take them in, do some shopping for me (always including an unasked for big cake), go into school and hear the little ones do some reading, come home with mine and have dinner ready (well a pizza) for when I walked in the door. He would watch me eat, then wash up and head up the motorway for another 100 mile drive.
He did this every week for three years while I gained my qualifications. I could never have had a career without him. He said that he had helped my older sister pay for university so this was his way of helping me.
This from the man who had never so much as changed a nappy or looked after us on his own when we were kids. He was in fact known for being a bit of a pisshead and a hands-off parent.
What a generation can do.
The other thing my parents did well was we always went on family vacations. We never had much money so they would be driving to this or that museum in a car vacations and staying at motels on the way.
At the time my brother and I argued like cats and dogs. I'm sure we drove them nuts BUT that time together as a family
trapped like rats in a hot car, playing eye spy and annoying each other is like a family glue - it brings you together in a special way...and you cant get time like that back.
Gosh, this is lovely It's also inspiring me to remember all sorts of lovely little things (and big things) that my parents did.
The very first memory I have of a lovely kindness was my mum sitting on the bottom step with me feeding me smarties after I had fallen down the stairs.
I also remember being allowed to come downstairs out of bed once when I was about 6 to watch a documentary about Margot Fontein (sp?). My mum knew I was an insomniac so when she saw it coming on she crept up the stairs and beckoned to me from the landing.
She also used to write little notes to me on a special note pad I had by the bed and left them on the bedroom floor for me to read in the morning. Every night! Sometimes they just said "Night night xx" but sometimes they talked about things that had happened in the day.
Once when we went to collect my dad from the small local airport (he worked away in the week) mum particularly organised that we could see him get off the plane... and it turned out he was wheeling a pink mountain bike. I remember saying to another onlooker, "Well, it is my birthday this weekend!"
I was a lucky child, looking back
Loads of memories. Honestly, loads. My parents would still drop everything for my sister and I even now. And we're in our 30s. Ahh this thread...
cutteduppear I just looked for a like button for your post your dad sounds incredible
More grandparental, but a song came on the radio today that my grandad used to play in the car, and I realised that I could remember the back of his head so clearly, because he drove us everywhere.
My DF has been a phenomenally shit dad in many ways. But a couple of years ago I told him we were having trouble conceiving and he said 'I'm sorry love, it must feel like everyone around you is getting pregnant.'
It's the best response I had from anyone.
Lay in bed crying at this thread, my parents were awful, I don't see my dad now and my mums frail. I can't recall any good memories with them but a couple who I used to babysit for took me under their wing and loved me, I was so pleased the husband got to see me happy and get married before he died of cancer. They were my rock through horrific times and I don't think they will ever know how much they did for me.
My dd is 18 weeks tomorrow, I will make sure she has lovely memories to add onto a thread like this in years to come.
When I was about 8, I apparently stole a sharpener from someone at school (I don't even remember doing it) and my mum was called in (it was a strict private school).
She was so ashamed and went completely apeshit at me. My dad was away on business.
My dad took me to work with him that weekend as he sometimes did. He called me over to sit on his lap, and he gave me a sharpener and said "Do you need this?" I burst out crying - and he just hugged me for ages and didn't say a word, just stroked my hair and told me it was ok.
Other kind memories involving my dad that stand out for me:
I had started a new school and one morning I just didn't want to go in. I cried in the car and begged him not to make me. He took me to a shopping centre, bought me a little present and then we had lunch together. He then took me back to school, came in and spoke to my teacher who looked out for me from then on. Spending that time with him really helped reassure me and gave me strength to face the rest of the day.
I was singing in a junior school production. The day of the performance my mum told me she had to work so she'd not be there. She thought I'd have figured this out by myself. I hadn't and was devestated. Really devestated. I had a main part and I was really good
in my head.
I went out onto the stage, and she was there, my mum, shuffling along one of the rows to find a free seat. I sang, and saw her rush out again as I left the stage. God knows how she swung it at work, but she was there and I don't think she ever knew how much I appreciated that.
My Father was a total shit and my Mum let him be which clouds things a bit but I do remember the notes she would leave under our pillows when she was away at university for the day - leaving me with him - and that, once I was old enough to do the short walk alone, she would let me come home from school for lunch just so that we could have some time alone together. I am the eldest of 4 so it was often hard. Every day, she would have made me my favourite sandwiches. I still have a soft spot for Dairylea even now
At weekends, I would cycle alone down to my Grandad's shop where I'd spend the day "working" and playing houses in the old flat upstairs. At closing time, he'd get me to mop the floors and then would take me next door to the newsagents to buy a sweet for me and my siblings and an extra one for me as my wages I loved that time away from the house and the horrors it often held. I miss my Grandad so much
Oh, ratbagcatbag <squeeze>
Your DD has already has eighteen weeks of love, security and cuddles. What you have done in these crucial first moments has laid the foundation for a good life and many happy times to come
Materially I was okay, but that was just for show. I was adopted and I do think god / the universe knew better than to have given my parents a child. They were toxic individually but horrific together... mellowed since then of course, when I was stronger, and when the grandchildren arrived.
OP, how long have you been back? I haven't seen you for aaaaaages! Enjoy your evening
When I was a surly teenager, my Dad use to get up early to make me toast in bed, so he knew I ate something and then drive my to the train station so I could get to training before school on time. I don't think I even grunted good morning to him!
When I moved to a new city, and feelings a bit crap about things, my Dad sent me £50 in the post with a note saying 'buy yourself some sweet'. It really cheered my up, especially because he must have known things weren't great without me having to say, and he was really anti-sweets growing up to the thought of buying £50 worth was great! My Dad also wrote me letters and use to paint my beloved cat's paw to make a print on the paper. He is not a letter writer or gushy in anyway!
Mum memory, it was just a little thing, but when I was about 9, Mum sat down and did some craft with me, something she had come across in a magazine. It was just me and her, and she wasn't running off to do something else. I can remember at the time wishing it would last forever.
Remembered some about my mom - she was always looking out for us and I remember cutting my head open running into another child when I was about 5. She got called from work to pick me up and my friend's mom was all in a panic. My mom was so no-nonsense, scooped me up and took me to the health centre at the mine to get stitched up. I remember feeling so secure being looked after by her.
Also, when I was a teenager I used to go out clubbing. My mom was always clear that she didn't like it but she would rather I tell her about it and that if there was any sort of problem she would come and pick me up no matter what time and that I wouldn't get in trouble. I now realise she must have been worried sick what I was getting up to but wanted to make sure I would ask for help if I needed it.
I also remember sitting on my grandad's knee whilst he would tell us stories. He was a massive farmer with a neck as thick as a tree trunk and a very hot temper, but he would sit patiently with his two young grand-daughters as we asked endless questions about the farm. He was so kind and gentle with us - I miss him.
sometimes I would get told off and would go and sob on the stairs. Mum would always come and sit on the stairs with me, put her arm around me and say 'cheer up chicken'. Always made me feel happy and loved. I do similar to my children
My mum used to sing "good morning, good morning" to us.
My dad used to open the curtains and leave a cup of tea by my bed, telling me softly it was time to get up.
My dad used to leave any book he thought I might like to read propped open on my teddy bear's lap.
My mum used to bake a cake, and my dad would lay a coal fire, then buy all the Sunday papers in winter. We'd sit by the fire and read and eat cake. It was a lovely Sunday ritual.
My sister and I once queued for hours and hours to get tickets for Rod Stewart. (I'm old ) The line was cut off about three people ahead of us and we came home really upset. Next day my mum waved an envelope at us. She'd applied to buy tickets by post and hadn't told us in case she didn't get any, but she did. I still remember how happy she was and how over joyed we were. Great concert.
My mum used to get up really early before my A levels and dictate chunks of French novels to me so I could practise my dictation writing, which wasn't very good. Because of this I learned loads of new vocab that came up in the exams and ended up with an A.
awwww, this thread's making me feel all squiggly inside!
I have had wine though
oh and my sister used to sing Hey Jude and play her guitar to me at bedtime. She was 16 years older than me. I still love that song
My grandparents always used to send me and my sister little notes and my grandma would write on one side and my gramps on the other and when we went on holiday we got a little note with a present or some spending money, I wish I had kept those notes now, I loved getting them they made me smile and laugh. I miss them so much but am so lucky to have had them.
Can this thread go in classics so we all can hunt it out when in need of cheering up and some luffly stories?
For one term in the last year of high school, we went to an outdoor activity centre for PE once a week. The school minibus passed directly by my house on the way back to school so I would hop out, and usually bring a mate or two with me. My mum would make us all soup and buttered toast and sit us all in front of the fire to warm up. By about week three, I was arriving home with about 7 friends, and she fed them all and listened to all our chat before dropping most of them home in her car.
My dad has never been the most caring or sensitive man, but one thing he did for me as a young teenager
over thirty years ago has always stayed with me as a great memory.
I used to cycle the three miles to school every day. One afternoon there was a terrible thunderstorm & I was terrified to cycle home in case I got struck by lightning. I was wandering around in tears alone in the school corridor when everyone else had gone home, with no idea what on earth to do. This was in the days before mobile phones, and I was too shy to go to the school office.
Suddenly, out of nowhere my dad appeared in the school corridor. He'd realised I'd be scared & come to find me. Instead of his car he'd borrowed a van from work so he could put my bike in the back, & he took me home.
Such a lovely thread!
My Mum was widowed when I was young and we really struggled for money. She had to work all hours and was so tired. But she used to go to charity shops after work and scour them for books that she thought my sister and I would like. Somehow she managed to get me the whole St Clares and Malory Towers series (though not in the correct order ) and loads of others - she knew my tastes so well. I remember how great it was to have lots of 'new' books to read, when we didn't really have a lot else.
I just think of how long she must have had to search to get those books. She still buys me books now! She's wonderful. Both my children are into books so I hope to do the same thing for them.
my mum also came to look after me aged 38 and redundant and having a minor breakdown. Took me out for walks and lunch. Then came to look after me 6 months later when I was 5 months pregnant and had suspected swine flu. She even sat in the bathroom while I showered in case I passed out. She is lovely
My dad used to take me for bike rides on our own, just me and him time. His work used to take him away a lot, and every time he was in a foreign city, he would buy me a little doll in national costume to add to my collection. He used to make up stories at bedtime, which I preferred to being read to out of a book. We used to play duets on the piano and he would play his guitar while I would sing.
It's especially sad now as he has been diagnosed with dementia at only 69, and he is deteriorating ever so fast
And I've remembered a good one - when I was 20 and studying at university over the easter holidays, I was alone in the student house we rented, as everyone else was home for the holidays. One night burglars broke in when I was alone in bed. It was utterly terrifying, but they went when I got up and shouted that there was someone in the house and I was calling the police. I phoned my dad and he drove 200 miles to come and secure the window they had broken to get in.
When I was 18 I had my first serious boyfriend, who turned out to be a very damaged and unstable boy, who caused me a lot of pain and heartache. After I finally finished with him, he stalked me for a while, turning up at work, or breaking in to my car and leaving flowers, that sort of thing. I was scared and intimidated by him.
I only found out about 10 years later, that he also put a letter though the door every single morning for over 3 months. My mum got up at 6am every single morning to wait for the letter to drop onto the mat and then she would destroy it.
I think it showed so much intelligence that she never told me or confronted him either - she just silently protected me from him.
I wish I had a story. Your stories are wonderful. My dad looked through me and my mam was cross my whole childhood. I hope dearly my children can look back on their childhoods with a smile on their faces and feel we gave them lovely memories.
I was a bit down at one point when I was about 17. It was just before Easter and I was sitting in my room, and my mom was on the landing, talking about putting special Easter decorations on the stairs, she went on and on, and made me come and look at the stairs to imagine how it would look. I thought she was being a bit weird about it.
I went and looked, and she'd bought me a load of new fancy knickers and strung them up over the stairs like bunting, I laughed so much my legs gave out and when I sat down on the floor she whisked out a huge box of (wrapped) chocolates and threw them in the air like confetti.
My mom's ace.
AndTwoBits, my dad had a horrible childhood. Because of this, he wasn't an easy man - prone to tempers, and we had money problems. But he did love us and showed it by doing everything that his own parents didn't do. Whatever you are doing for your DC, they will remember and appreciate it. You can break the cycle, and leave them with such happy memories of childhood, as my dad did for us.
I think I did one today that my eldest ds will think of for a long time. On the way home from school in the car and the boy in his year who has been a total wanker from reception to y6 to my ds and others was in front of us on his bike, all over the road on his bmx thinking he was so cool, so I went right up behind him, revved the car engine, beeped the horn and drove past fast whilst shouting at the top of my voice 'you little fucker!' The car windows were half open and said wanker wobbled on his bike and looked shocked and stopped!! My DS was whooping, laughing so hard and just beside himself with the crazy fun and madness of his mother! He hugged me so hard when we got home saying I was so awesome, I told him, anyone messes with my children and I am a lunatic! They all leave on friday and are at different schools thank God!
Apatchylass thank you. My dad too had a horrible childhood. He never managed to break the cycle though, but I am so bloody determined to!! I am following my husband's lead, he is so naturally loving. Our kids don't know they've been born!
What a lovely thread. I cannot add to it as I don't have that kind of relationship with my parents but I hope to high heaven that my children remember me as fondly as some of you remember yours.
gah! wetness all over my face now....
We used to visit my grandparents on a Sunday and all three of us kids would fall asleep in the car on the long drive home. My mum, a single parent, would carry us all into the house one by one, up the stairs and into bed. I was the eldest and I must have been around 7 or 8 at this time (so quite heavy!) and if I did wake up, I used to pretend to be still asleep just so she could carry me upstairs to bed so I could have that feeling of being looked after and loved. I still have that feeling - I'm very lucky.
<resists urge to run upstairs and wake up the DCs to do kind things to them>
PS, love the OP's "Music Centre" and the Worzels LP. We had both of those... "I am a cider drinker ooh aaar oooh aaar ay"
When I stayed with my grandparents she'd make us hot milk at bedtime. In the morning she'd make me scrambled eggs on toast and cut it up into squares for me.
I bunked off school a few times in 3rd year of secondary school, hated it for many reasons, one day I was sitting on a bench near my house and my dad drove past in his work van and saw me. He u turned and rolled down the window and said 'get in' he took me to a local cafe for tea and cake whilst giving me a gentle but firm talking too about sucking up stuff we don't like and getting on with the stuff we do like because that is what life was all about. He wrote me a note for school the next day explaining I was off the previous day due to illness.
grants1000 that's a horrible way to behave no matter how much your ds liked it. Not to mention dangerous, aggressive driving. You behaved like a bully, intimidating a kid on a bicycle (vulnerable) with your steel box of a car.
My mum used to wake me up every morning for school and bring me a nice cup of coffee. I'm terrible first thing
and still am so it was a very kind thing for her to do.
Good I'm glad I was a bully, gave him a taste of his own vile medicine, he would have felt the same way my ds did when he kicked him to the floor from behind for no reason & split his head open. it was a quiet little suburban road and he was in no danger so cool yer boots!
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Too many lovely things to list really. But one thing that sticks in my mind was the willingness of my mum to drop everything and take a whole pile of neighbourhood kids on adventures. After school in Summer she would take us all up to the lake for an afternoon of swimming and fun. And in Winter we'd go and visit the hot pools. We're talking 8-9 kids in the back of a van (illegal now, of course) all having a whale of a time. Bless her.
They ALWAYS had time for us, my parents.
I have something wet in my eye
Lovely thread. Making me well up in my insomniac moment.
Since I started drinking tea, my mum, without fail, has brought me a cuppa every morning. If she was up before me, she'd wait till she heard the shower. When I got back to my room there'd be a brew waiting.
She is fab in too many ways to list, I love my mum.
My dad loves his garden. When I was small he used to let me write my name in flowers every year. Think purple lobelia among white. It made me feel very special.
I was always allowed to help him in his building work, painting, pointing, putting putty around windows etc. He was endlessly patient and never minded when I made a mess. He is a great dad.
My mum died when I was 6 so all my memories are pretty special. A couple that I've thought of whilst reading this thread - I was off school for some reason so came to work with her (she was a secretary for a uni prof), I drew a poster telling people to put their rubbish in the bin, she printed a few off for me on the xerox machine and took me round some of the local shops in her lunchbreak and got the shopkeepers to put my poster up in their windows (imagine the mums net thread! 'Aibu to be annoyed that this woman wanted me to put her pfb's crappy picture up in my shop window?!)
We had a Christmas activity comic book thing, after we did the activities we hid little messages to each other in the pictures of the book, writing 'I love you' and suchlike in little corners - I still have the book (my dad also joined in writing things like 'sallysparrow has a stinky bum'!)
When I was little my parents split and we moved away with just DM. That summer we went on picnics all over the place and had great fun paddling in lochs, playing in parks, going on walks, etc. It wasn't until years later that I found out that was because picnics were cheap and things like a chicken lasted a few days that way. We were also out the house and entertained for free. She was literally so tired at work each day she slept on her desk at lunch to make sure we were happy and didn't know how poor we were.
I was bullied terribly in primary school but my younger sister was really popular and had lots of friends and play dates and sleep overs so I spent a lot of time being sad with my mum. I remember we had a little secret handshake we did where we linked baby fingers, meaning we were in it together.
One New Year's Eve my sister was on a sleep over, I was about 8 I think, and at midnight my mum woke me up so we could listen to the boats blowing their horns in the bay.
She worked really hard for us and after being in after school she sometimes would borrow my aunts car and we'd have a picnic on the beach all wrapped up in jumpers
She used to dance with me, singing a song we called "dance in the old fashioned way" and now she does it with dd1.
When we were getting the kitchen extended and a wall knocked through we spent all weekend drawing pictures on the wall.
I had a terrible accident when I was 7 and had to have loads of stitches, I can remember her buying me a Care Bears chocolate bar and magazine to distract me. We never had sweets or chocolate as she couldn't afford it. Definitely not magazines.
Another day my mum took the afternoon off work and collected me from school in my aunts car and had fresh hot cross buns in a brown paper bag waiting for us.
When I went out as a (wildly permiscuous) teenager, my mum used to text me and say "remember you're special". I bet I was breaking her heart really and I used to laugh at the text when I got it, but now I think it's lovely. The only way she could say anything to me about the situation.
Actually, I've quite a strained relationship with her now, but it has been lovely to think of these memories
Oh, and when I was about 3, again in her office, I was clattering about on the typewriter, she looked at what I had written and in the long stream of letters I had randomly happened to type the word tree, she and the other lady who worked in her office made a big fuss of me for typing a real word!
Mum used to take me out to Switzers cafe (RIP Switzers, sadly missed) in Dublin for a huge sticky, sugary meringue filled with whipped cream and a cherry on top after my dentist appointments
My mum used to wake me up in the middle of the night (well probably about 9pm) when I was little and carry me downstairs to look at the hedgehog in the garden.
I remember going to the Isle of Wight and sleeping in the car over night in the middle of nowhere. Then the next morning Dad digging up the some turf, lighting a fire and us having a cooked breakfast.
On the beach in Northumberland Mum and Dad used to make a fire with the coal that washed up from sea and we would have sausages and baked beans for lunch.
Every Sunday without fail my parents took us out for the day, sometimes miles and miles away. I used to moan about it but now realise that it was quite a chore to do and a really thoughtful thing to do.
My mum used to sit on my bed when I was small. She would stroke my head and say shhhh...imagine you are a squirrel (or hedgehog, rabbit etc. etc.) and it is really cold outside because it is snowing (windy, raining) and that you are all snuggled up in your den, with your mummy, daddy and brothers. It's very cold but it's OK because we are all snuggled up under our bushy tails (leaves....etc) and we are all snuggy warm. By this time I'd be snoring. It was lovely. I do it to my kids now, they love it.
My parents are very reserved and not given to being demonstrative, or to overt fun or spontaneity of any kind, but they are lovely people and exceptionally tolerant. I realise how tolerant now I have children of my own. I remember once spilling a whole tin of emulsion paint over the living room carpet and my dad cleaning it up without any fuss or histrionics or shouting. (I am more fun and spontaneous with my own children but should perhaps learn a little of their calm kindness.)
my dad bought me a car when i was a teenager, he went to a car auction with his friend who knew about cars. and i was ungrateful and cried because i didn't like it, it was a muddy green vauxhall nova and quite ugly and uncool in my spoilt eyes. it was actually a great car and lasted me ages. still feel bad now, what a brat, he was so hurt but didn't show it
then once at a family party, i was about 20, my dad was walking me round introducing me to family members who hadnt seen me for years, and he was so proud of me and kept saying to people, isn't she beautiful, she's like a little fairy i was never confident about my looks and to hear my dad brimming with pride about me was so sweet i will never forget it
when i was 25 i got married for the first time. and dad and i travelled to the wedding in the wedding car. i am sure my dad knew i had doubts and he said to me, in a really tactful, kind way, we can just turn around and cancel the whole thing if you like? he made me feel like he would make it all be ok if i did that. (i didn't though!) still feel bad for that as well as my parents spent 1000s on that bloody wedding and i didnt even wanna get married
and then when that marriage ended, less than a year later, and i had a tiny baby by then (ds) my parents were so kind to me. they helped with DS, paid my rent till my benefits were sorted, drove me places, took me food shopping and had me and DS over to eat most nights as we were so skint.
Aw, this is making me tear up.. I lost my mum earlier this year and miss her every day.
One thing that sticks out is the lovely things Mum and Dad brought me after a traumatic birth with DD: other people brought flowers, generic meals to heat up and that sort of thing - which was very nice.
My parents brought an outfit for DD, an enormous bar of chocolate and a large, complex book on Russian history for me. It sounds odd but it was a great reminder that I still had an identity at a time I needed it.
Dad was and is a typical 'gruff Northerner' but I always remember his rendition of Just So Stories when I read them to DD. He spent some time working abroad when I was a child and used to write long and entertaining letters to me from meetings.
Mum and I had a great tradition of putting stockings together for each other, Dad and DH at Christmas - which often involved sneaking past each other in the corridor at three in the morning. Great times.
When I was little and my Dad used to walk me to school, if it was cold he'd spend the entire time weaving this long, involved fantasy about how one day we'd go to school on the back of an elephant in one of those tents you put on their back in India (he told me the name of them but I forget now) and about how cosy it would be in there and all the things there would be. He made up more and more in-depth details about how there'd be shelves with little sweets on, and things in jars, and he described the rugs and blankets we'd have. He has the most magical imagination, always reminded me a bit of Roald Dahl. It distracted me completely from being cold and I sort of drifted along completely engrossed in this dream world and before you knew it we were at school.
He also spotted characters who we saw every morning and gave them names and made up stories about them. There was a woman with black hair who wore sunglasses all year round who he called "Bright Eyes", and the best one of all was a man who always wore a brown suit and grinned and waved when he saw us who Dad called "Mr Smiley", and Dad used to actually bellow "Look, it's Mr Smiley! Morning Mr Smiley!" when we saw him.
I love my dad.
And I love this thread, even if it's ruining my mascara.
<sob> what a lovely thread, we have moved it to Classics now.
When I was about 6 there was a kid in my class who, looking back, clearly had ADHD - was a complete uncontrollable enormous Tigger-like ball of energy, the size of a 12-year-old at 7, couldn't sit still or shut up for more than ten seconds. Poor thing wasn't really a bully but always seemed to end up on the wrong side of everyone.
In the playground one time he got very rough with me. I was a tiny child and he was absolutely huge for his age, and somehow he ended up putting me in a headlock. (I was scared but not hurt.)
My mum found out about it after school and absolutely boiled over. She had been a teacher at the school and was still Chair of the Governors and knew the kid. She went right up to him in the playground and said,
"If you EVER behave violently towards my daughter again, I'm going to flush your head down the toilet."
Needless to say she would never have actually done such a thing, but we still laugh at what a hilarious and bonkers threat it was!
This is a beautiful thread
My parents are lovely too.
I always had a home-baked birthday cake (sometimes helped to make them) of the shaped and sweetie-decorated variety, train, hedgehog, pirate hat, fairy castle etc.
I was sung to (and now sing the same songs to DS) and told made up stories (Sammy the Seagull, and some about a family of fieldmice with a hedgehog who lived the the hedgerow, sometimes a half-remembered and half-made up fairy tale that were much better than the book version.)
They were especially kind during my many follies of teenagerhood which I will be repaying for many years. I must have put them through hell and they were very lenient now I look back. I deemed them desperately uncool but they let me have friends (including boyfriends!) to stay a lot and as long as I came home on time i was allowed to do pretty much what I wanted.
They paid for a lot of my University, making up what loans allowed to agree with what someone from a low-income household got for nothing. They also did this for my brother and it must have cost a fortune, never mind the top-ups when we were skint, and paying off my overdraft. They never made a big deal of it but I know sometimes it was hard to find the money.
I'll always remember my birthday lunch box which I used to always look forward to, my mum would buy me the corner yogurts, nice crisps & other goodies I didn't normally have with a note wishing me happy birthday
She used to make my meals in the shape of a face for me & my bros.
When she was working a night shift she would always rent us a film out.
She would always let me & my bros join her in her room at night after her & my dad split up because we liked to be together
During the summer holidays when I was about 6 or 7, we'd been out in the garden playing. I got up after bedtime because I had a sore bit on my hand - it must have been the day before we went away on hols, as I can remember I was only wearing knickers to sleep in (mum liked to get as much laundry as possible done before we went, so my jammies were in the wash ). I had a thorn in my hand and it was really deep. My dad got a sharp needle to dig it out. Once the thorn was out, I remember him letting me sit down on the sofa with him and watch a bit of telly and 'help' him eat his supper to make me feel better (it was a banana sandwich on white bread with lots of butter...).
My mum taught at my primary school, and one day I was not feeling very well. Suddenly, I needed to be sick, and rushed to the sink in the corridor whereupon I vomited profusely. I can still remember the feeling of relief as I felt my mum's hands gently pulling back my hair and her voice telling my I'd be OK and not to cry. Sometimes it was great having your mum teach at your school (though most of the time it was not so good). She also remembers this incident, but her feeling of gratitude was to the other teacher who silently handed her a big box of tissues and some disinfectant
I always remember this one:
My mum and I were on holiday at the seaside somewhere in the UK. Think I was about 8 or 9 and into Sindy in a big way, I had a huge collection. I was looking at the Sindy display in a toy shop and saw a Sindy writing desk/bureau thing that I loved. It was about £8 which was a lot of money in those days. I was just about to talk to my mum about saving up my pocket money/putting it on my birthday list, when she said she'd buy it for me there and then! 'You're on holiday' was her justification for a treat
Remembered another one - boiling hot summer's day and my mum was really cross about the state of my room. She set me to it, being very specific in what she wanted done/tidied in my room. Only about 15 minutes later when I was nowhere near finished she came upstairs and said I should come down and finish it later. There was a funny film on tv she thought I would like and she gave me a bowl of ice cream to eat while I was watching it
I remember my mum was often quiet vocal about telling us off when we were naughty - I used to leg it to my dad who always had a clean hankie on hand to dab tears.
We lived overseas and I also have very clear memories of my dad tucking us in everynight and trying to get us to learn the Arabic numbers by kissing forehead (one - wahid), left cheek (two - ithnain) etc etc up to ten, we loved it.
My mum was the most brilliant story teller and poem recaller, she often inserted our names into the poems of heroic deeds and getting the better of witches and bears!
oooh, just rememberd how brilliant my mum was at children's parties - we always had a birthdays at home with about 20 children. She organised the really traditional games without fail, baked/decorated very imaginative cakes (once I asked for a ladybird!) and never seemed phased by masses of overexcited children!
Oh dear, crying my eyes out here.
Fat pony your not Kate Midds are you????
Everything I remember about my Mum is lovely! I lost her when I was ten so I'm really lucky to have such good memories, all cuddles and kisses and smiles and so much love.
If I can give my son half the happiness she gave me I'll be doing a good job.
This is such a lovely thread, I've been in tears reading it!
My parents have always had to scrimp, save and make do. When I was nearly 3 my mum was pregnant with my little sister and they wanted me, as a former only child, to not feel too left out. My dad found some old school desks in a skip, took them apart and used the lids to make me the most beautiful dolls cradle. He painted it red and painted a love heart and flowers on the end. My mum made beautiful white bedding and my gran crocheted blankets for it. It was the best present I ever had and I played with it for years and years, along with my little sister.
Now my dd is about to turn 3 so I brought my cradle out of the loft and have just re-painted it and given it to her and she loves it so much. Painting it myself made me appreciate even better the love that went into it first time around. My dad and I don't always see eye to eye but my dd's little cradle is a reminder of how much he loves me
My memories are; when we were ill Mum used to run us a bath, a cool one if we had a temp with lots of lovely bubbles. While we soaked she'd make the bed with clean sheets & pillowcases, & give us her spare pillows so we had a lovely big "nest".
I remember her washing my hair & gently drying it with her dryer & then helping me back into that clean cool bed. Then she'd bring me a big bowl of Heinz Tomato Soup with slabs of white bread & butter from a fresh loaf. Still my go to comfort food even now!
I once asked her who was her favourite child (one of four, & sibling rivalry was intense) She thought for amoment and said,
"I don't have favourite's , I love you all the same, but I give my attention a little more to whichever one of you needs it most at that time"
Dad- being so proud when I got married, we arrived at the church a little early as I'd allowed extra time when booking the car for the London traffic forgetting it was quieter on a Saturday. Guests were still arriving so the driver kindly took us on a tour of the City & we waved to all the tourists around The Tower & other spots as we passed feeling like royalty! it was a warm day & he nodded off & I had to wake him when we were near the church,those last few quit moments alone with him were very special.
God this hay fever is affecting my eyes..............snuffle
Aged 10 and being bullied at school, I injured my arm and needed weekly Physio at the local hospital. Mum would sneak me out for a coke and biscuit stop afterwards (before returning slowly to school) it was our cheeky little secret and it did me the power of good!
Oh lordy missmarples the lovely clean bed and the last alone moments with your dad in the car....I feel like bawling my eyes out but have a meeting to go to.
My dad is a sociopath. I appreciated everything my mum did for me/us.
I remember the time when we were poor and she saved all her money up for ages to buy me the pink shell suit that I really wanted.
Every morning she would wake me up by singing 'sunshine on my shoulders'
Every Friday evening we would watch TV and do face packs
When I was mentally ill she picked me up every day so I could be with her
Even now I class her as my best friend. We speak at least twice a day on the phone. I can tell her anything and she will never judge me or make me feel bad. There is nothing I can't tell her. She is my rock and I know I am hers too.
I was very spoilt as a child and got everything I needed and wanted. When I finished my a levels my mum dashedhome in the middle of the day to ggive me a pack of m and ms and a magazine. It was such a little thing but I was so touched
Zero memories of my own parents doing anything nice ...but do in-laws count?
I have never ever forgotten, when my marriage almost broke down in the early years, my MIL sitting across from me at the kitchen table taking my hands and telling me that if it wasn't right then I should call it a day ....not do as she had done, and waste years of life trying to appease them.
I had never had that level of support from anyone, and it was her son that I was talking about leaving!
30 years later, when the whole damn thing went down the tubes anyway, I really really wished I had listened to her.
Oh yes and my dad traiking here there and everywhere when I was a teenager to pick me up and drop me off.
Actually both my parents have made sure I know I ca alwas rely on them and if I need them theyll drop everything.
My parents always made us feel loved and as though our opinions were important (but not without challenge!).
I remember them always treating us to something at the end of the summer holidays and taking us out for dinner on the first day of Autumn term.
My mum is the most selfless person without being a martyr. She always came up with great games for us to play and art project for us to do.
My dad told someone that if we weren't already his children, he'd love to have us as friends. That means so much to me as he is a wonderful man.
Such a lovely thread. I'm in tears reading through all the lovely memories. Particularly poignant for me as its my dad 5 year anniversary of his death tomorrow. He was taken suddenly from us in a car accident. Miss him every day. But he has left me with such good morals and always made me feel confident and proud. He did such funny things and was such a lovely character.
My fondest memory is how he surprised me and my brother with a trip to France. It was a total surprise and made me and my brother so happy. Apart from that, it was the little things like putting us to bed, buying us a bag of chocolate on pay day....aww I do miss him. I just wished he got to meet my DD and it saddens me that my DD will never meet her grandfather. I'm all sad now....
My dad drank Pepsi (I don't like it)all summer so that I could collect the pink ring pulls to get a free Spice Girls CD. I didn't find out until a few years after that he really hates Pepsi too.
It might sound really silly, but it means a lot to me.
Thinking about this in the heat wave - my dad used to splash rubbing alcohol on my back when he tucked me in on sweltering summer nights. Felt glorious. Cold winter nights I'd get a warm slate between the covers before I got tucked in so it was comfy and warm. Really little things, but felt so cared for.
My mum used to pretend she believed me when I said I could sleep with my eyes open and would sit and sing me lullabies even though she'd been at work all day and must have had things to do and been knackered (single parent). She also let me sleep in her bed on Friday nights so we could cuddle and chat and giggle. She died 27 years ago today, when I was a horrible teenager and she wasn't much older than I am now .
This lovely thread has made me cry.
I'm 51 and my parents would have been 86.
I could write a book-nay a bible-of all the absolutely wonderful things they did for us.
I thought I was being over romantic about it but I recently had a school friend to stay, and when my teenage sons were being disparaging to me she said 'your mum had the most amazing parents ever' -and then went on to say nice things about me but I shan't write them.
We had so much less materially than ours have but I don't remember wanting for anything except a pony, and a swimming pool in our huge and flower filled garden. The latter was the only thing that my parents loved anywhere nearly as much as us or each other.
My father sent me a wedding anniversary card on our first saying' I'll never forget how much I enjoyed your wedding' which he had paid £10000 for. And just before she died very suddenly, my mother sent me a card after a late night phone call when DH had walked out and DS had just had an explosive nappy saying 'my darling wonderful girl, all 3 of you are doing something new and it will take time for all of you to get used to it'. And signed it saying how wonderful I was again. The last thing she ever sent me.
I miss them all the time: 17 yrs and 9 years after Mum and Dad died respectively.
Oh yes, forgot I was 3rd out of 4 so the wedding comment was v special
I don't know if this is a 'thing,' but my parents have never given up on me. Ever. They get extremely protective (even now) about my mental illnesses. I never had a normal childhood because of how debilitating they are. The teen years were hell for them, the hormones and useless doctors, all the medicine switching made me a error to live with, plus my DB being horrifically bullied at high school for being ASP.
To this day DP tell me virtually daily (they live close, we phone a lot) how much I've improved (I haven't) how proud they are of me, how they wouldn't want me any other way etc etc.
On one memorable occasion my flitty, tiny, birdlike mother with her fragile disposition caught my ex boyfriend calling me a cunt. (15 years old) She turned purple, reached up about three feet, twisted his ear, dragged him down the stairs while he screamed in pain and literally threw him outside. Never said a word. Then just came and held me.
My parents are amazing, I hope I can give DS a childhood with as many happy memories, and the same feeling of complete security they have given me.
They've done so much for me, but one thing which was totally unexpected was when I was a poor student and working at a horrible job where the manager bullied me mercilessly, my mum sent me a card with a cheque to cover my rent for the end of the year so I could leave if it got too awful, and the card said 'They don't know how lucky they are to have you, the fools!' which made me laugh and cry at the same time!
Someone else mentioned inlaws-when first serious boyfriend and I were on the verge of breaking up, and I was utterly miserable, his dad took me out for a pub lunch and said 'Do tell me or Susie (his wife, boyfriend's mum) if there's ever anything we can do to help-that's what we're here for, us old folks, and you mean a lot to us' They were so kind
unlike their shit of a son If I could just keep DH and have them as MIL and FIL, that would be perfect!
My Dad has the onset of dementia now but he will always be my hero even though I don't always recognise what that terrible cruel illness is turning him into. This thread is making me cry because it makes it all too clear what a wonderful special man we are losing and it's difficult to bear tbh.
When I was little and poorly he would always come home at lunchtime and bring me an orange ice lolly.
He made me the most fantastic Wendy house, I woke up one Christmas morning and looked outside and there it was.
When I left home and moved away he wrote me lovely letters, not really long ones but more notes, and they cheered me up so much when I received them, I've stil got them in my treasure box. I realise now that they were his way of telling me he missed me and was thinking about me.
He was my spider-catcher!
There are so many things more that I could write but I can't see the keyboard properly now......
I am missing my mum desperately today, this thread has made me cry remembering all the lovely things she did for me. I was lucky enough to be able to tell her what a great mum she had been and how I hoped I could be the same mother to my DS.
Thank you, I really needed to shed a few tears tonight.
My dad was in the RAF and was often away on night exercises. I always used to miss him but when he'd come home in the mornings he'd stop off at the NAAFI shop on the base and buy me Tuc cheese crackers with cheesy filling and an individually wrapped slice of fruit cake. I always looked forward to these small treats, and even now when I see them, they remind me of him and those early mornings.
Mine were not the greatest parents, but they certainly tried hard. For my 9th birthday I announced that I didn't want a party, but a treasure hunt. My Dad devised one with clues for two teams that went all over our small town and ended up with the discovery of 'treasure ' (Fake gold bangles and chocolate coins) hidden in a tree in the local park, followed by ice cream sundaes for all in a cafe. We NEVER went to cafe! It was so much fun, and the talk of all my friends for ages. I don't think it cost any more than a normal party or birthday treat but it's the time and effort he must have put in to thinking up all those rhyming clues that made it so special. I ought to say thank you actually!
We didn't have much money growing up. My mum would knit dolly clothes for us to play with but she would take her time and make a set and put it in a shoe box. They were the best presents. I think how she must have knitted in the evenings or when I was at school so it would be a surprise.
My nan used to save the card inserts from packets if tights as she knew I liked drawing on them..
My mum wasn't very good with crying but my dad would always get a cold flannel to put over my eyes.
Feeling sad and thinking I want to be kinder to mine. I just seem to tell them off or give instructions.
ladymariner what a horrible thing to see your dear Dad fading UnmumsnettyHugs to you. I'm sure your love and devotion will always get through to him no matter what. xxx
quickquick me too - missing my Dad and feeling so grateful for having him for so long. Gone but never forgotten x
Thankyou madmomma , your hugs are much appreciated xxxxx
When I had a temperature, she's wipe my forehead with a face cloth and turn the pillow over to the cool side and made sure there were no wrinkles.
She took on my chemistry teacher who had kicked me out of her class
for no reason, she was just a nutjob when everyone including the principal was afraid of her.
My mam's the best and I love her.
My parents went scrimped and saved to send my DB and I to private school and then supported us through university, and scarcely blinked when after a decent 12 year career I was made redundant and announced I was going back to college to retrain and was going to work in the entertainment field in an area that pays badly and is ridiculously hard work. This year I've earned enough to support myself, but they've been there every step of the way when I couldn't.
Plus, they're endearingly bonkers. I read the thread about weird things your PILs do, and whilst some of the things listed were scarily off-the-wall, a lot are things my DM and DF do, and I love them for it.
They have a wonderful capacity for being silly, and sometimes it's lovely when we all get the giggles, the sort where you can't talk, your eyes water and you have to sit down for a bit.
We used to go on holiday to a little caravan in a field on the Atlantic coast in a very out of the way and undiscovered area. Most evenings we bought freshly caught mackerel at a little pier and the following morning mum would take out the Kosangas cylinder and the big cast iron pan she used to bring, gut the fish and throw the scraps far away to the other end of the field for the neighbourhood cats to feast on. Then she would fry the fish at a little distance form the caravan, and we sometimes had leftover potatoes from the last night's dinner too. (We always brought a bucket of new potatoes from the garden at home). I will never forget how delicious those breakfasts were. Mum never had any -- she hated fish with a passion and the smell of them made her gag.
1981 I was 4 almost 5.
We'd just had an extension to our house at huge cost. My mum and dad had a bathroom fitted fully tiled with a bath AND a shower cubicle it was beautiful and their 1980's dream bathroom. All colored suite and matching tiles.
My dad is a post war baby, he was very strict. Kind but strict, had lots of post war ideas on child rearing. My parents had a no nonsense attitude. I was a late baby with siblings 11 and 8 yrs older than I.
Well, the bathroom was complete, bar the accessories. I remember dad spending Saturday painstakingly marking out the drill holes for the towel rail. He was no DIY god so it took ages. I remember watching the holes being drilled and plastic plugs inserted and the faux Crome towel rail attached. I watched and then was told ' now you MUST not swing on that. It LOOKS like it will hold you but it won't it will break, don't swing alright?' To which I duely agreed.
Approximately 30 mins later I found myself in bathroom alone and YES I swung! I thought 'hey they'll never know....' CRACK!!!!!!!!!!
Well I nearly died, time stopped, my blood stopped. My dad came in and saw and said...'it's ok, you just wanted to try didnt you?' He hugged me,calmly got his tools and started again a few cm from where he'd put it originally. Mum never mentioned the polyfila-ed extra holes to me.
I think I was more amazed by his calmness and forgiveness and no I never swung on the faux crome towel rail again
This thread has made me really happy that people have had such lovely parents and sad because I never really had it, sometimes I worry that I go a little over the top making memories for my dd, but this has reassured me
Earliest memory- I was 5 in Westminster Childrens Hospital for heart surgery. There was an IRA bomb scare and the hospital was evacuated. I can remember being on the pavement outside in a nightie and a blanket.and suddenly there was my Dad! He had come all the way from work in North London and bypassed whatever police there. It was like he was a Super Hero!
I am sobbing at this thread.
My parents have always been extremely loving and thoughtful and I can honestly say that I've been spoiled with their kindness and feel so lucky. If I can be half as good a parent as them, then I will die happy. I am on a mission to make as many happy memories for my children as they have given me.
One that really sticks in my mind though...
On my birthday (can't exactly remember which one, maybe 10th) I was woken up by my new cassette alarm clock playing 'The right stuff' by New kids on the block. I thought it was the coolest thing ever- even better though they had decorated my room with Banners and balloons. I felt like the luckiest girl ever. They went to such an effort for me.
Even now, I am still dazzled by their dedication and love for me at the age of 33. My mum remembers every little thing I say that I need in passing and then before I know it, it arrives in the post or she brings with her on her next visit. Cupboards get filled quietly while she is here looking after my kids. She wants no big thanks or fuss.
They are doing it again for their grandchildren now too.
My mum used to sing to me at bedtime and stay with me until I was almost asleep - am just about phasing that out with DD now - she's nearly 9!
My dad worked his backside off so mum could stay at home with me until I went to high school, so it was always weekends and holidays that were our fun time.
Their house backs onto the South Downs and we used to get up really early on a Sunday morning and go for a long walk, the stop at the Happy Eater for egg on toast and hot chocolate on the way home. When I was smaller it was a trip to the paper shop, sweets and the park, and when I was a baby he used to come home from an early shift and we had an afternoon nap together (back in the day when no-one batted an eyelid at babies sleeping on their parents chests on the sofa).
Just remembered my mum buying me the new Kylie cassette when I was poorly with tonsilitis once.
She always used to do me a 'goody bag' when we went on holiday with sweets, pens, colouring/puzzle book, comic etc. I used to love those almost more than the actual holidays.
This is making me weep, what a beautiful thread.
One Christmas eve my dad put on a santa hat and walked behind a hedge while my mum called my sisters to the window to look at 'Father Christmas' (sisters probs aged about 3 and 5). They were beside themselves with excitement.
My dad has always been self-employed and used to run a large company, have his own PA etc. I'll never forget how he always made it clear to me that we could interrupt any appointment or meeting if we needed him for anything at all. It meant the world to me that he would leave his clients just because I wanted to talk to him.
I am married now and live about 4 hours away from my parents, but even now when DH and I go to visit my mum will stock the fridge with all our favourite foods, DH's favourite beer etc. Whenever they visit they always fill our fridge and cupboards, take us out for meals etc.
My dad always used to make us little gifts when we were younger; painted rocks, seashell necklaces, books with holes cut in them for storing our 'treasures'
Dad used to act out stories and plays before we went to bed at night.
I am going to write them a card with all of these lovely memories in - thanks for the prompt.
My mother has been a rock to all of her seven children. We still go to her for advice and comfort. Earlier this year when it was bitterly cold, I was staying with her. When I went to bed I found she had put a hot water bottle in it. She's 89!
This is beautiful. I needed it a bit. Soemtimes when you are skint and tired and the house is a tip, you need a gentle reminder that the small people wont be small forever and its all to be enjoyed, especially the little things.
I have such wonderful memories of my maternal grandparents. My mother had me at 18 and they helped her so much. I remember sleeping over and having a little camp bed besides my nana so we could hold hands at night. Grandad used to make us kites for the garden, and obstacles courses from plant pots and old broom handles. Grandad died very suddenly aged 63, and my poor nana was a widow at 59. it absolutely broke her heart as they were so in love, and life was must getting a little more easy for them after raising five kids on bugger all. My nana was beyond wonderful to me. She nursed me through horrible times at home, first breakup, my first pregnancy. She taught me to knit and sew, and made the best homemade chips ever. She couldnt wait to be a great nana, and the first flowers to arrive at the hospital were from her. Shes 84 now, and in the depths of dementia. I wish i had told her before she got so ill how much she meant to me, and still means to me. She doesnt know me now, or the kids. I wish she could be herself again for just five minutes so i could tell her just how perfect she was.
going for a sob in the garden
I think my DM was kind in her generosity. I can remember her making sure we had tons of clothes and toys as she couldn't afford the big stuff like holidays/days out.
Its made me sad that I can't remember much overt affection from her. My DGP were very loving towards me.
Hmm it has got me thinking I don't have many happy memories of being a teenager.
greenfolder I was also at Westminster Children's hospital for minor surgery around 1981. I distinctly remember the machine in the playroom that dispensed either orange squash or pink milk!
Awwww. Some of these are really lovely.
I have another best Gran story. My Gran lived far away when we were kids and we would go to visit every year. She had sooooo many grandchildren but she would always make you feel like her favourite. Everyone says the same. Don't know HOW she did it. Anyway, when we went to stay there would be loads of people staying at her house so she would set up a little squeaky campbed at the foot of her bed for me and my teddy bear so we could sleep in the same room every night so she "wouldn't be scared of the wind" that was always howling round the house at night. I also vividly remember the shipping forecast playing on the radio as we fell asleep. I miss her so.
My Mum would always sing "All bound for Morning Town many miles away" when she was in a good mood and it was sunny... This is making me cry now. Nice memory though - I had actually forgotten it. She sang that and Puff the Magic Dragon!!! I just remembered that. Not really a parental kindness kind of thing but a nice memory that made me feel happy at the time probably without her even realising.
I really feel for you PaleHousewifeOfCumbriaCounty it must be so hard. Funny how both our Grans did the camp bed thing. She sounds like an amazing lady.
My mum anonymously posted an envelope with money in it at Xmas through my brothers door. He had been made redundant and was worrying. For years he thought his workmates had a whip round. Just typical of her. So many good things I couldn't write them all.
I miss her.
i went to see nkotb for my 11th birthday with my mum. part of the treat was a fancy meal. my mum told me to order whatever i wanted, but there was nothing, i really just wanted beans on toast...so she went to the waiter and then the chef to demand it....still makes me smile
I went on a week's residential activity holiday when I was about 11, and cried with home sickness the whole time. At some point either me or the leaders (I forget which) must have phoned home and told them I was homesick. 2 days later a letter arrived from my dad, didn't tell me he loved me/missed me/it would all be ok/man up etc, it was just a long made up story about how lots of hedgehogs had escaped and blocked the main road in our town and my teddies had got involved in trying to sort out the ensuing chaos. It was exactly the right thing to send me, I had one final cry and was fine for the rest of the week. I found the letter again when I was was sorting through my childhood bedroom, and sobbed like a baby at his kindness and how he'd absolutely hit the spot with how to cheer me up and reassure me.
This sobbing fit that this thread set off has carried on through the day, i think its been a bit cathartic. My aunts and mum get so upset when we visit nan that i suck it up and be strong for everyone else.
This thread really reinforces to me how good relationships are built with children through love and the little things, and not through all the telling off and stuff. My mum did lots of smacking and telling off, and it wasn't nice at all. But she also loved/loves us with all her heart and it's that, and her ability to show it, that has kept the relationship going even when I have had real difficulties with her. I do love her very much.
One of my earliest memories is of being sick in the night, and my mum getting me up and giving me a shower, and then giving me one of those sweets in the shape of a prawn and another sweet in the shape of a banana, and then climbing into her bed and going back to sleep. I was rarely sick as a child and hated it so it stands out.
My dad - we used to see him every Sunday - pretending we had to go home and didn't have time for McDonald's, knowing full well we knew he was driving to McDonald's anyway, then driving all sorts of random ways to get there to put us off the scent. Not every week, obviously, but enough times for it to be a silly standing joke!
My mum always taking us to the beach or out for picnics. We had no money, so she would make up this massive cool box and lug it for a good couple of miles along the clifftops as we walked to the beach. And the picnic would always be awesome.
Homemade soup and crusty bread on Saturday afternoons.
All the many, many hours my poor mum spent, having worked all day, as a single parent, with no car, taking me on buses to ballet classes she had got a cheap deal on, and could hardly ever actually pay for, because the ballet teacher took pity on us. We'd be out for hours after school and she and my brother would have to sit through not one but two ballet classes in a church hall before we traipsed back to the bus stop in all weathers to get home. And sometimes we'd go to Poppins and have beans/spaghetti hoops on toast for tea. She did the same for my brother with football and rugby.
Lots of other things, but these stand out.
When my parents split up and me, my sister and my mum moved into our own little house. Mum used to get us all together at least once a week (or when required) for a 'Snug-a-hug' where we would all share a good cuddle and it was a safe place to talk about anything we were worried or scared about. My mum is amazing.
Love this thread x
My Dad left for work at 5 am for work. Got home 8 pm. My Mum always got up to make his breakfast. In the Winter she would always put our mittens .gloves scarves etc in the grill! to make them warm for us.I could write a book about all the wonderful things my parents did. They have both been dead for years but I think about them every single day and I am tearing up as I write this. Love you Mum and Dad.
The naff sign Mum's Taxi (which we never actually had BTW) was made for my mum. She would give us lifts everywhere with no grumbles at all. She'd get up at silly o'clock in the morning and take us to airports, drive halfway across the county to house sit all day for big furniture deliveries, drop off forgotten items
including my passport, pick us up at midnight when she'd dropped us off at the pub -- when we were underage--. She'll do anything for anyone like that and I plan on being the same with my kids. As a comparison, we had a meeting at our wedding venue at 10am on a Sunday morning which would have meant leaving our house at 9am. My ILs would practically have passed our road on their way to get there but when we asked for a lift so we could chat about the plans on the way they said no they couldn't really as they couldn't guarantee they would make it on time as it was a bit early and they didn't think we should be late but it was OK for them to be?? So they actually didn't end up coming but my mum did on her own as my dad was out playing golf and she had to drive almost as far. She regularly comes over an hours drive to see my DD but my ILs won't drive 10 minutes to see her. My DH sees my parent's example and wants our family to be like them rather than his family. I think if you want to bring your kids up as you were brought up that's the best compliment you can give to your parents. Oh and my dad always taking us to the sweet shop for us him to get sweets! Damn my sweet tooth!
My wonderful dad went out in the pitch black, with only a torch, to find Mr Snuggles (4 inch high dog) who I had left in a haystack in the middle of a campsite when camping in Tenby . Bless him, he found him
When my goldfish died my mum cuddled up on the sofa with me and told me all about fish heaven, bless her
None of my own but love this thread
Love this thread.
I have loads but will only write three.
My parents woke my DB and I one night and got us out of bed as it had been snowing and they knew the snow would melt by morning. We had an amazing hour playing in the snow with a street snow ball fight followed by hot buttered toast and hot chocolate. My friend across the street's parents wouldn't allow her to join in which made my parents even cooler.
My dad worked many evenings and weekends as a heating engineer. To ensure family time we'd all go with him and have a picnic outside whatever boiler house he was working in then go to a local swing park or something.
Sometimes they'd stop the car in a lay-by on the way home from the weekly shop and we'd have a picnic there. My mum kept a butter knife in the glove compartment specifically for that purpose.
So many happy memories. I know I'm lucky to have had such a good childhood. DH had similar and we've trying hard for our DC.
At my 21st birthday party the theme was a shipwreck party, I was the island princess and the guests all "came as you were when the ship went down". My father dressed up extremely convincingly as the island queen (in a bikini and grass skirt) and convinced a number of people he was my mad old auntie.
My dad worked on the railway and worked shifts - every other thursday he would collect me from school, take me on the train to margate, where his depot was and we would go to dreamland and i would go on the "up and down horses" I still get a lump in my throat whenever i see a merrygoround My mum used to work at the bowling alley as a cleaner, i was allowed to polish the score sheets which were plastic sheets that would effectively be put on a OHP - i love the smell of mr sheen. My dad wouldn't go to the town without buying me something, no matter how small. There was a shop in the town that sold brittains farm characters, i was allowed to buy one a week, always horses, i so wanted a horse but we couldnt afford it so i had to make do with riding on my dads back around the living room.
Everytime I grazed my knee I had to have giggle cream on it, aka pink germolene, always stopped the tears and made me smile
My parents separated when we I was seven, and divorced soon after. It was acrimonious at first, but after that my DM hid all that from us, even though I suspect my DF wasn't generous with maintenance payments and flaunted his GFs. As we grew up she made damn sure that we had fair contact with him and that they were civil during events that were important to us.
Many years later they are actually great friends and we have the benefit of younger brothers and sisters, and three wonderful sets of GPs for our DCs.
I think I,ve been guilty of just remembering all the bad things but this thread has just reminded me how good my mum and dad were in their own way! As a child all my friends wanted my mum and dad to be theirs. Some stand out memories...
Dad singing nursery rhymes to us every night before bed
Mum making dinners in the shape of a face
Mum making me a lighthouse out of two toilet rolls for a school project - I was really upset as I had no idea how I was going to do it and she just went into the kitchen without saying anything and came out half an hour later with this feat of magnificence (she wasn't arty so this was a big thing for her!)
The way they both welcomed my friend into our home ALL THE TIME as a teenager knowing she had a shitty home life (and at the time we just moaned as we thought it would be 'so cool' if she was in care and had to go to a children's home )
Dad bringing me and two of my new friends a Chinese for dinner in our second week at uni cos he knew I hated the hall food ( he died two weeks later and it makes me so sad to think of all we,ve missed out on)
My nana did so many lovely things for me I can hardly pick out one or two. When I was a young adult living with her I got paid on a Friday and was skint by Tuesday. Every week when it got to Tuesday she would lend me a fiver; I'd pay her back the following Friday - on and on it went, we hardly knew whose fiver it was in the end.
When I was at Uni about 200 miles from home and was being ignored by everyone else my nana was worried about me and got the bus down herself just to make sure I was okay.
PaleHousewife. I'm sorry about your nana. she sounds truly lovely. You are doing a very good thing by being strong and holding it together for your mum & aunties. It must be very hard.
When I was about 6 or 7 I dreamt I had a pair of green patent shoes with little heels and a bow on the front. When I woke in the morning I looked around the room frantically searching for them to wear to a friends party later that day.
When I realised that they were just a dream I cried and cried.
My dad kept me off school that day and we trailed round all the shoe shops to find the next best thing. I found a pair of black patent shoes with a little heel and a gold bow on the front and a detachable ankle strap. It made me so so happy!
My parents took my dd on holiday a couple of years ago. My dd was 6 and she fell in love with a pair of gold Spanish dancing shoes in a shop window. She only had 5 euros spending money left. My df insisted on putting the rest of the money towards them... Some 60 euros! This also made her so so happy.
My dad buying the CD I wanted, it was special because one of the songs made me think of a boy I liked. And I think my dad knew it was unrequited teenage love, so he gave me the CD and left me in my room to sing that particular song
and cry in typical teenage fashion.
My dad coming home tired from work and uni (he was working full time and studying when I was born) and still had the energy to tell me stories and I usually slept in his arms and then I woke up in bed until I was 4 years old I think. My dad taught me how to pray (I found out he is actually agnostic when I was 12 years old) and praying has helped me in difficult times in my life.
My mum making hot chocolate and a sandwich for me when I had to stay up writing assignments for uni.
My mum taught me how to make my favourite dish, how to sew and do a bit of embroidery. She used to kiss me and hug me and when I got 'too old' for it, she said I will miss her hugs and kisses one day... she was right.
I miss my mum so much, I can't believe it has been 11 years since she died.
My mum always brought me a cup of tea in bed every morning when I was a grumpy teenager. Last year, I was pg and suffering with SPD, DH was working away so DS and I stayed the night at my mum's. I woke up and found a cup of tea on the bedside table. Made me feel all warm inside and took me right back to being a kid again. Just one of a thousand lovely things my mum has done and still does for me.
Inspiring thread - thank you so much. Can't type more as too blurry-eyed!
My grandfather de-frosted my car for me every day before I went to work during the winters I lived with him (and my Gran). I still miss him so much.
One more memory- one Xmas I was desperate for the latest game that was out, dad came in from work every day telling us a story about a guy in his work who was trying to buy this game for his child, it was old out everywhere, every lunchtime and weekend this 'man at the work' was trailing round every shop in the city o find this game to no avail. I was told I wouldn't be getting one as there was no way dad was going to that much effort...
Come Xmas morning I woke to find I,d got that precious game! And later found out there was no 'man at the work' - it had just been dads way of updating mum on how the hunt for the game had gone!
My dad made me my own Tudor house in our shrubbery, with leaded windows and a trap door upstairs. My mum ran up curtains with rosebuds on for the windows.
Did I love playing shop down there...I spent entire Saturday mornings there unti my mum brought a tray with the most beautifully made sandwiches and a really clean spring onion , all trimmed. Only when you have kids do you realize how much effort your own parents made when they were at their best.
My darling mum would make me a cup of tea and sit with me during those hard night feeds in the first few months. She would also take my wide awake at night DC off me and let me sleep in her bed and laugh with me about those silly things I said when I was delirious with lack of sleep.
I remember being in Woolworths, and seeing this little kitten and puppy in a wicker basket. I was obviously besotted and my birthday was a few weeks later, but dad said that I had too many soft toys already (he did have a point as over a third of my bed was taken up with them). I was a bit disappointed but knew that we didn't have lots of money either, so didn't push it.
And on my birthday (7th I think), lo and behold, there were the kitten and puppy
Birthday parties were always brilliant. I once had a crackerjack themed party with mum recreating games such as having to stick your face in flour to get to a sweet at the bottom.
I agree with Pit - now I'm a mum, I realise how much my parents did for me. We weren't well off, didn't have lots of "things" but the experiences and love more than made up for that.
This thread is wonderful and I really hope I am providing my own dc with some wonderful memories of their own.
My contribution is from my dad. We went to the football all the time when i was younger (season ticket holders) and I always looked forward to halftime in the bar. Dad always used to buy me a shandy and a pie Even though Mum didnt really like the thought of a young girl been surrounded by loud, rowdy blokes she realised it was what I looked forward to all week.
The shandy was mine and Dads little secret though and when I got older, it changed to a pint!
This bloody thread has made me weep but I stupidly read it while in a cafe. Now I'm trapped here while the tears run down my face and I stare out the window trying to distract myself with the thoughts of all the washing I have to do! Such a healing thread.
My mum (and dad for that matter) worked FT when I was growing up. I know she felt guilty about it but always made sure the time she had with us was special. She would make little rituals for the morning and bedtime that I still remember fondly now. Once, she missed my 8th birthday for a conference but came home with a badge saying It's Great to be Eight with a robot on, and chatted to me in the bath. I genuinely didn't mind and understood she had to work.
She also told me recently that I'm a good mum which really blew me away.
PaleHousewife I wish i had told her before she got so ill how much she meant to me, and still means to me
You didn't need to tell her, she would have known. My wonderful Grandmother had dementia towards the end and I remember how hard it was
When I was 20, and commuting to college 45 miles away, my dad would come home from his night shift and stay up to drop me at the station rather than me having to walk 2 miles early in the morning.
Also went round for dinner last week (DD and I go every Sunday in the summer as DH plays cricket) and instead of a roast we had cold chicken, salad (iceberg, tomato, cucumber and harboiled eggs) and new potatoes with salad cream.
DH is a chef, so salads at our house are usually a bit more elaborate and I don't think I've eaten salad cream since I left home 17 years ago, but it was lovely and I realized it will always make me think of my childhood. DD loves it too so looks like it might become a regular fixture on my shopping list after all! .
My parents were very poor and frankly should not have had 4 children! But they always found the money for us to go on school trips and we always had books. Mum would trawl charity shops and buy them discarded from the library. I read constantly and still do.
This thread has reminded me of one of the worst times in my life and how my Mum helped me. I was 19 and I had a nervous breakdown. I could barely speak, was prescribed sleeping pills and ADs, couldn't eat, was catatonic. She nursed me through it, sleeping in the same bed as me, dressing me, finding meals I would eat, making sure I took my pills and protecting me from everything that triggered panic attacks. Once, in the hospital car park, after a session with the psychiatrist I sobbed that I wasn't feeling better and that I was being swallowed by the depression. She looked me in the eyes and promised me that she would never let that happen and that she would leave everything and take me somewhere to make me better if that's what I wanted and lots or other things that truly set me on the road to recovery. She refuses to take any credit for that and still tells me that I made myself better. She's amazing.
DD has just climbed onto my lap saying "Mummy I need you". and I am now sobbing and praying that I haven't passed my mental health problems on to her.
I've got to search my daughter's username now, to see if I ever did anything lovely. she's my little baby. I love her.
Me and DB were brought up on a farm. DF was the farm manager.
One Christmas we left hay and turnips out for Santa's reindeer and in the morning the turnips had big bites out and teeth marks - DF had got a cow to chew them. 35 years later we still talk about it and DF always laughs at how our eyes were like saucers!
We didn't have a lot of money and I didn't get the pony I always wanted, but we were given the most amazing freedom to roam and play. I live in a city now and I try and give DD as much freedom as possible to just go play outside, get dirty, climb trees, make pals.
We spent summers helping dad with making hay, shearing sheep, and playing across fields and hills.
Mum would make picnics in the summer to take out to the workers. We'd get to help make pancakes and she'd always make one for me and DB in the shape of our initial. I do the same for DD.
They are both retired now and all their grandchildren just adore visiting and staying with them.
My dad used to sing us our own song that he made up, it started with me and then my brother and sisters. I now sing it to my own kids. It was a very simple little song and included a bit for us to sing back. I love thinking about it now and I love the fact that my kids will grow up with the same fond memories and hopefully sing it to their kids!
Also, I grew up with twins as siblings and my mum and dad were always really keen that each of us get to spend some quality time with them. So every Friday fortnight two of us went to my gran's for an overnight stay and the third got to stay at home with mum and dad and have whatever night we wanted (film/out of tea/special tea/games night). It was just great at the time and now that I'm older I really appreciate that they thought that through and did it at the time.
A few nights ago I'm suddenly became ill with crippling stomach pains and vomiting. DH is away and DS has SEN which mean he wakes frequently. I knew my DP were at a dinner party, but I was desperate. I texted to ask if they could come by and stay the night with us (I meant after their dinner), but I got the reply "be there in 30mins". I was sooo relieved.
When they arrived DF sat on the floor of the bathroom where I was slumped in a heap and made me take sips of water through a straw. I was there for about two hours and he has an artificial hip. DM got my washing in and put it on the airer, then stayed the night with me and got up with DS at 5am. She took him around to hers so I could sleep.
My parents are my heros - they always come to the rescue! They've been texting me loads over the past few day to make sure I'm coping ok. LOVE them!
I know that's not a memory from childhood, but you get the measure of them from that story!
One more though. When we were little DSis took her teddy bear tiger to the local fair. Unfortunately she lost it there, but didn't realise till we got home. She was devastated. DF went back to the fair and found teddy (who had unfortunately been mauled by a dog). He brought him home wrapped in his coat so Dsis couldn't see the mess he was in and then sewed him back together once we were in bed. Dsis came down in the morning to one (almost) as good as new tiger.
So sad for those of you who've lost parents I dread it so much. I'm so grateful I have mine still here.
I was 8 or 9 and we were absolutely skint. My step-dad had lost his job and it was Christmas time. We had no decorations, tree, anything. I went to bed (still believing in FC) and asked him if he was coming, to make my sisters 1st Christmas magical.
I came downstairs the next morning to a grotto
Found out years later that my nans, aunties etc had all brought decorations/tree/lights and my mum had stayed up all night decorating the living room. They'd all brought their presents to us to ours (we used to open them at each house) so we have lots to open. I cried
And believed in FC for at least another few years
I can't possibly calculate how many hours my dad must have sat in his car, waiting to pick me or my sister up from nights out rather than let us take public transport/taxis. I also know that now, aged 35 with a husband and family of my own, he'd rather take a call from me in the early hours than let me be at risk!
And my mum is so thoughtful, always cutting articles of interest or buying little things that could be of use or bring happiness to me, my sister or my daughter. I remember she once gave in to my demands for green scrambled eggs (made with blue food colouring) and must've sighed when I couldn't eat them!
The main thing is that they'd both do anything to help us, and I want to make sure my children grow up knowing the same.
Some of these are lovely
My mum used to write me letters/ send postcards whenever I went on a trip away or she did, she still does sometimes it's nice to get a hand written letter.
Oh and another... I was 19 and had a horrendous bout of glandular fever. I didn't eat in days. My dad went to Kwik Save and bought 7 different puddings, put them all on a tray and brought them to my bed to try and tempt me to eat something
Twice as a child / teenager my mum crept into the room I shared with my little sister and said 'wake up cuppa tea, do you want to go to France with daddy today' and off we'd go to Paris on the train and we would see everything....I still have the photos he let me take on his camera and despite us having quite a strained relationship now I treasure the adventure and excitement instilled in me and all the effort they both went to.
One other time we were on holiday in Italy, I must have been 5 and my dad woke me about 9 o'clock at night and he took me to a fun fair they'd spied earlier, something about going on all the rides in my pyjamas late at night was so exhilarating....
Sorry to post when the thread has sort of stopped but really wanted to add mine.
Following a long illness my mum died when I was 7, I was devastated as you'd expect. I had about 3 days off school and then went back, Dad was keen for us to get some routine back.
I really struggled to adjust and it was a very hard time for us all. Then about a week after the funeral, I came home and I found my Dad waiting for me, he told me that there was someone waiting for me in the living room. I assumed that Grandma had come over to cheer me up and went in to see her. When I went in there was the most beautiful, teeny little kitten waiting for me. I think I must have smiled for the first time in months that day, I love my Dad
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