This is my very last resort - ideas needed to help me find my dad, brothers and sisters

(669 Posts)

I haven't seen my Dad for over 25 years, my Mum left him and then came in with another bloke one day and informed us that this was our new Dad and that was that.

She won't give me his proper name but I know the name everyone called him and he was well known where he lived, she won't tell me where and when he was born, in fact we no longer speak so I'm never likely to be able to find the information out at all now all I know is he lived in a little Lincolnshire village.

About 16 years ago she did manage to track a phone number down for him (after years of harrassment) and I had a brief conversation with him but she decided she didn't like it and burned the number and his address that I had written down as well as the phone bill.

Back when I spoke to him he was waiting for pretty major surgery on his heart so I'm not even sure if he is alive now and if he is he is in his 70s and when we spoke he did tell me I had brothers and sisters (he said all in all he had 16 children by goodness knows how many women) but I don't know their names apart from a brother I had who died and three older sisters I have whos names are my middle names (although one of them died as well I don't know which one).

I have tried the salvation army, trawled through public records (which is hard because I only know the shortened version of his name not the full name) called local pubs and shops where he used to live some of who knew him but didn't know where he was now and the local police station who couldn't do anything to help, as well as going on missing people and family tree and similar websites.

What else can I do? I feel like there is a huge part of my history I don't know and I would like to even just know if he is alive or not and maybe try to track down his other children. There is also the fact that my sister died from SIDS before I was born (according to my Mother) as did my son and I had a daughter who died from a genetic illness which there is no trace of on my Mothers side of the family and I would like to know my family history from his side to be able to tell my children.

Could someone give me any more ideas of what I can do to try and find out where he is or is it a lost cause? I don't know where to turn anymore its like banging my head off a brick wall and I'm just about ready to give up sad

Hello everyone,
To retain some RL privacy, we've edited out some names and replaced them with a B. Hope this has no effect on reading this amazing thread.
Thanks.
MNHQ

foslady Thu 30-May-13 20:33:45

What area of Lincolnshire? I'm from a small Lincolnshire village? Have you tried an ad in the local press?

TVTonight Thu 30-May-13 20:37:06

Do you know the name of the village in Lincolshire? Could you try an appeal to the local newspapers/radio.

Was the phone with BT, is it on the same number, is it possibly still on their system?

Is it possible that he is named on your siblings' birth certificates?

RubySparks Thu 30-May-13 20:37:35

Does your birth certificate have his name or is their a marriage certificate that may have details or death certificate for your brother to see who registered death? Old neighbours who might remember him? Facebook may be able to help if you have any other names to look for? Sorry if those are obvious things just trying to think where you would get information.

GibberTheMonkey Thu 30-May-13 20:39:23

I was thinking that your brothers death certificate might be the way to go.

I hope you find them and I'm sorry for your losses

MacMac123 Thu 30-May-13 20:42:42

If it's a little village you should be able to find people who properly knew him, have you actually been there? I suggest take a day, go there. Start at the pubs and newsagents. Follow whatever leads you have.
I am (whisper) a journalist and I know from when i worked on national papers this pub/shop approach works, and then go to streets/areas they say they think he lived on and narrow it down from there.
Did you say you knew his surname?

Its a small place called Bassingham, thats where he lived when I lived with him and he was staying there when I talked to him 16 years ago too.

The phone bill with his number on it is a no go because it was in my Mothers name so she made sure I couldn't trace it again.

I hadn't thought of the papers, I'll go and look at what the local paper is just now and see about putting an advert in.

My Mother didn't want him on our birth certificates so I have no way of tracing him through those either, and the problem I have had with my brothers and sisters birth/death certificates is that I don't know if they had his or their Mums last names so I've come to a bit of a dead end there too.

Thank you for your replies flowers

mymatemax Thu 30-May-13 20:46:14

you can search for marriage & birth certs with your mums details.
If not ad in the local paper is the way to go.

Good luck!

ThreadPirateFanjoBeard Thu 30-May-13 20:47:59

Appeal on local radio?

MacMac123 Thu 30-May-13 20:48:13

Phone the local paper and ask them to do a 'do you know my dad' piece for the sake of your children because of your daughter that died. If he had so many kids by so many women he will be somewhat notorious and people will know him.
So you used to live with him? Am confused - was this when you were a kid? Can you remember the address? A private deceptive can track people forward from a historical address

foslady Thu 30-May-13 20:48:32

Why not go and ask at The 5 Bells? See if you can put an advert up in the local shop asking for info? Think the Local Paper is the Lincolnshire Echo - why not write a letter for their readers page?
HTH

Onetwothreeoops Thu 30-May-13 20:49:11

Would he have been on the electoral register at the address you lived at with him? You can go to the county archives and look up the names of who was registered at that address in that year.

CharlieUniformNovemberTango Thu 30-May-13 20:49:42

Were they married?

You could try facebook - look for the local pages and groups for the local paper and for the selling pages too.

MrsGSR Thu 30-May-13 20:50:37

I second the ad in the local paper. One of my dad's cousins found my dad that way, and it was a very vague ad!

foslady Thu 30-May-13 20:50:47

According to Wicki it has a Methodist church and a C of E - why not ring the Reverend & Minister to see if they've officiated to him....might not be thr news you wanted to hear, but if he was normally known by another name, they'd know that

YDdraigGoch Thu 30-May-13 20:53:53

What was his name?
Start a post on here to ask if anyone from Bassingham knows him - but you'll have to give his name.

foslady Thu 30-May-13 20:56:20

www.withamstaple.com/CNews/CurrentTWS.pdf

The parish magazine - why not try these people?

MacMac123 Thu 30-May-13 20:57:47

Brilliant idea by Yd to start the post on here!

foslady Thu 30-May-13 20:57:50

Can you tell I'm bored?!!

Wigeon Thu 30-May-13 20:58:52

The charity Missing People might be able to help: see here

Or you can download a factsheet called "who can help you" here - see the last two pages of that document.

ChasedByBees Thu 30-May-13 20:58:56

Hopefully someone where he lived might know his last name, or the names of his children / partner(s) if he was well known in his village. Starting there seems an excellent idea like MacMac says.

What if you google the name of the brother who died (I know it's only the first name), Bassingham and the word obituary? Something from a local paper might come up.

The best of luck in your search, I really hope you find them.

I haven't been there, I was living in Scotland but have moved to the Midlands recently so I would be more able to get there a bit easier. I did have a ring around a couple of years ago and no-one had heard of him for a couple of years before that, I do know his last name and the shortened version of his first name but if its a good approach then I could go there the next time dh has a few days off work and try my luck.

The biggest problem I have is that I was only about 5 when my Mother left him so I don't remember anything about where we lived they weren't married and she has done everything humanly possible to make it impossible for me to be able to trace him. She moved to Scotland and told him that he would have to come up and see us which was obviously difficult for him but he tried for a couple of years and then she moved and didn't let him know where, the last time I saw him he had travelled up to see us and was just hanging about the streets hoping he would see us and my Mother went and had a go at him, I never saw him again after that.

I tried FB, I even messaged some people in the area who had the same last name (which is also really common) and it came to nothing.

He was well known, for all the wrong reasons, as far as I have been told so there were some people in the pub and shops I called who knew him but didn't know where he was now.

I'm just going to look at the Echo and see if I can find an email address, can't believe I have never thought of the local paper before now.

Than you all so much for replying.

Lioninthesun Thu 30-May-13 21:02:07

I found my mum's real family (she was adopted) by posting on one of those ancestry sites asking for help. A really lovely lady emailed me to say she found her husband's bio family and had 'got the bug' and helped me completely free of charge!
Thinking about it I should email her again now I have met them! Good luck OP.

Onetwothreeoops Thu 30-May-13 21:04:32

This might be a bit of a mad suggestion but have you considered approaching a nearby residential home for the elderly and asking if you could go in and chat to some of the residents to see if anyone there remembers him. If he is in his 70's now then it is likely he would have been known by people now in their 70's, 80's and 90's.

WhiteYFronts Thu 30-May-13 21:05:30

Try searching on 192.com for birth/death certificates with your siblings names. Maybe try different combinations of possible first names for your Father with a rough age to see if you get a hit.

If the village is pretty small I'd get yourself down there and ask. People are more likely to give you information face to face.

Good luck and I hope you find what you need.

MacMac123 Thu 30-May-13 21:06:13

He was hanging around the streets looking for you guys? So sad when families get divided like that. He did find you though even if it was just for your mum to have a go. You might have the same luck.
If you want pm me his name and I'll have a look I have an advanced electoral roll system I use for work.

His name is/was B.

I'll try that parish magazine foslady and those links too wig

Thank you so much for your help everyone, you are all utterly lovely.

Thank you MacMac he was hanging around the streets and because he got the train up he slept for a few nights in the local park according to a friend of my Mothers (she told me years later). I've put his name ^ up there, even if he doesn't want it online he will have to contact me to tell me so smile and if he is still alive he might google himself and stumble upon Mumsnet.

I have just sent an email to the paper so hopefully they will be in touch in the next few days.

I just looked on BT.com and there is one B listed in Bassingham.

fergoose Thu 30-May-13 21:18:31

There are 15 Joel Bs listed in the UK

fergoose Thu 30-May-13 21:21:23

Inspector is that at Sheppard Court?

Pouncer1 Thu 30-May-13 21:21:47

I really hope you find him, please keep us updated. I am very sorry for your losses.

fergoose Thu 30-May-13 21:23:30

The address Sheppard Court I have found is sheltered housing.

MacMac123 Thu 30-May-13 21:24:41

Have pm' d you

fergoose Thu 30-May-13 21:25:08

I will pm you too - don't want to put phone number and address on here

looseleaf Thu 30-May-13 21:31:37

Wow- do tell us if you speak to him; really hope he's alive and that you find him

Manchesterhistorygirl Thu 30-May-13 21:31:48

Good luck OP. have you tired appealing on ancestry.com or findmypast?

You can also apply to the national register office for death and birth certificates that might advance your search.

Thank you, I have PM'd back.

I have a couple of numbers to call tomorrow and I am just setting up a 192 account so I can have a look at a possible address on there.

I have tried ancestry.com but again it comes down to not knowing his proper name so I got nowhere there, I haven't heard of findmypast so I will check that out just now.

I will keep you all updated, I am going to call the pub and shops again tomorrow and wiil hopefully hear back from the paper soon if I don't get anywhere with the numbers I have been given.

I can't tell you all how much this means to me flowers

idiot55 Thu 30-May-13 21:48:17

Hope it all works out for you ,

I traced my birth mum, but was lucky I had her name and DOB.

good luck in your search smile

OrchidFlakes Thu 30-May-13 21:59:17

I have nothing helpful to add but best of luck OP, this thread has really moved me.

Good luck flowers

Bassingham is my next village, OP & my GP is there, & I know loads of locla contacts.

I'll liaise with Fergoose (we know each other outside MN) if you like & see what we can find.

<dons deerstalker>

Fabalab Thu 30-May-13 22:16:25

Sheltered housing sounds promising.

I don't really have much to add and you probably know more about genealogy now than I do grin but don't lose hope just because you don't know his full first name. When I do my genealogy bits I always put in aliases or nicknames used, for this very reason.

DeafLeopard Thu 30-May-13 22:22:25

OMG is there nothing that MN cannot do?! smile

Really hope you find your family OP.

fergoose Thu 30-May-13 22:23:13

Am trying not to get hopes up - would be very lovely if he has been found smile

The sheltered housing Fergoose has found is about 10 miles away from Bassingham OP, on the outskirts of Lincoln but I know where it is.

Januarymadness Thu 30-May-13 22:30:19

There are several reasons I love mn. This is one of them xx

Wow MN stalkers on the case now grin I can't begin to tell you all how grateful I am for you help and messages and for wishing me luck.

I know my Dads Dad, I guess I should call him Grandad really, was the son of a Canadian Indian and had a nickname that was passed down to my Dad something like 'Big Canada' or 'Big Indian' or similar, I remember everyone called him by the name.

He was a massive guy who had bushy dark brown curly hair (that my daughter has inherited) and dark brown eyes (that my son has inherited) and the son he had who died was called Billy he was in his 20s and he was in a car accident or he was hit by a car, I have one photo of me as a baby with his daughters/my sisters, they are called Marianne, Joanne and I think his daughter Sharon died from SIDS but it could have been one of the others and they would be prabably in their 50s now. Apparently he had 3 sheep that he named after me and my brothers too confused and his favourite song was Golden Brown and he used to have a record of 5,4,3,2,1 that he played and danced to all the time too.

Thats all I know about him and my siblings.

Picturepuncture Thu 30-May-13 22:34:03

Wow, sme of these posters are amazing, I hope you get some news OP.

GeekInThePink Thu 30-May-13 22:36:34

Good luck OP

How brilliant is mumsnet?

Good luck OP and I really hope you find him!

I won't do anything untul you say MissyMoo, but I can start asking around, your Grandad sounds very distinctive, & everyone seems to know EVERYONE around these parts so fingers crossed.

MM skimmed through your thread so not sure if you said your parents were married. If so, then I might be able to help with some online searching.
Not got access to the system I need tonight but I can have a look tomorrow. You reckon your Dad is in his early 70's? And presumably 'local' to where you grew up? I can use that as a starting point.

I just messaged you back Bossy sorry it took so long I had an emergency a burnt pizza that I forgot was in the oven to contend with.

I am very cautiously excited, but even if I don't find him I really just want to say THANK YOU to everyone who has replied and is helping me. It means the world to me and you lovely lot didn't have to reply let alone go out of your way to help.

I promise I will keep you all updated.

No worries MM your head must be buzzing!

Of to bed now, will reply to your Pm & get digging tomorrow.

grin

MiddleEnglish Thu 30-May-13 23:03:09

I have some findmypast credits that I don't plan on using, pm me if I can be of any help.

ExasperatedSigh Thu 30-May-13 23:10:32

Wonderful thread, hope you find him MissyMoo. I am so sorry for all that you've lost.

foslady Thu 30-May-13 23:16:50

Good luck for tomorrow - hope you get good news

MrsC my parents weren't married, but thank you so much for the offer, he is about 74ish I think but I can't be 100% sure, I recall someone saying he was 10 years older than my Mother so it could be a year or 2 either way the last I knew of him he was in Bassingham but that was years ago, I just hope he hasn't ventured too far.

Thank you Middle I am going for a look on findmypast in a minute to see what its about, thank you for your kind offer.

I started this thread as a bit of a last ditched attempt and didn't really expect any replies so I am just overwhelmed with the support and help I have been offered. flowers

TotallyBursar Thu 30-May-13 23:27:46

Good luck. I have my fingers crossed this works out for you and you find them all.
G'wan the MN detectives!
Will be waiting with baited breath for your update thanks

Sorry, wasn't meaning to pry, but having a few facts makes the searches easier.

I'll have a look tomorrow and see what I can find. I'll put in an age of 75 but with a few years 'grace' either way and see what I can find.

MrsC please don't say sorry, and you aren't prying at all. You have offered to help me and I am really grateful. I don't have much information which is why I keep running into brick walls so I am really happy and in tears at the amazing offers of help and people wishing me luck.

AdoraBell Thu 30-May-13 23:43:08

Good luck OP

So far today I have learned that no-one in Lincolnshire answers their phone grin I've tried the three numbers I was given a couple of times this morning so I will try again later on this afternoon.

Sounds about right!! hmm

SixPackWellies Fri 31-May-13 12:41:25

Oh good luck OP.

YoniMatopoeia Fri 31-May-13 12:52:28

Just seen this thread. Good luck OP!

I thought I had better do a quick update.

No-one has answered their phones, the paper and the sheltered housing places I emailed haven't been back in touch yet, and Bossy went past the sheltered housing place (thank you) but the warden was away home for the weekend.

I also had a PM giving me the name of a lady who may be able to help me, I emailed her and she is going to give me a call next week to see what she can do, she helped the lady who gave me her name find a relative so hopefully she may be able to turn something up.

I want to thank you all again and I will keep you all updated.

lateSeptember1964 Fri 31-May-13 19:47:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MM it's going to be a long weekend for you not knowing I guess, I hope you have lots to keep you busy, & I'll get asking around.

Watch this space. grin

Theselittlelightsofmine Fri 31-May-13 20:34:15

Hiya just wanted to say I managed to track down my own father with just as much info you had, thanks again to my "mother" just thought you would like to hear that it can and has been done.

Many days worth of phone calls with help from 192.com, library and guess work grin.

Really hope you get good news soon smile

Oh wow late that sounds like a huge possibility. I'm going to have a look now and see if I can find the place, can you remember the name of the place she worked at? If she isn't one of my sisters then that is a massive coincidence. Thank you so much for telling me.

Thank you Bossy I've got a natural healer to track down now, that will keep me occupied until Monday now grin

Thank you Theselittle its good to know it can be done. I've had a little more hope since starting this thread and the amazing help i've been getting.

I'm googling natural healers in Lincoln just now to see if I can track the lady late is talking about. That sounds very much like she could be a sister of mine.

Theselittlelightsofmine Fri 31-May-13 20:45:50

Just one bit of advice, don't tell the person too much, you need them to fill in a few more details, that you know are correct, just to confirm they are who you think they are.

Hope that makes sense to you grin

Theselittlelightsofmine Fri 31-May-13 20:51:31

Have pm'd you too smile

GoSuckEggs Fri 31-May-13 21:15:12

WOW!! isnt mn bloody great!

I hope you find your family OP, my mum was doing something similar to you a few years ago. it is sad isnt it, how familys can fall apart so badly.

good luck!

Liara Fri 31-May-13 21:22:58

Good luck OP, I have my fingers crossed for you. My bf has tried to track her bm for years without success (not in the UK, very different circumstances), so I have some feeling for how important it can be.

I really hope you find your family.

Maryz Fri 31-May-13 21:29:30

Yes, what Theselittlelights says is very important.

I have a friend who thought she had found her father - same name, same age, roughly, and same sibling name. When she contacted him he was so delighted they didn't check enough facts and it was a bit down the road they discovered the mistake.

Funnily enough, she still keeps in contact with him, even though she has since traced her dad grin.

missy I have everything crossed for you. what a brilliant story!
Do you think the local paper might like to do a little story about your search? It is just the sort of thing our local paper thrives on (every day is a slow news day in Malvern smile ) and you could look sad in a photo smile

MUMSNET you vipers are utterly brilliant. thanks

Sorry, MM my searching hasn't turned up anyone that seems to match as yet. However, keep me in the loop and as and when you get more info, I'll happily re-run the searches and see if I find anything.

I do hope you have some luck with the leads you've got so far.

WeAreEternal Fri 31-May-13 21:48:41

This kind of thread is why I LOVE MN.

It truly proves what a nest full of vipers we are not most of the time grin

I really hope you manage to track down your family Missy, I wish you so much luck. Please, please keep us updated.

Oh and just a thought, you could start one of those shared posts on Facebook. Make a poster saying that you are trying to track down your DF and long lost siblings, give names locations and things and mention your GF but leave out some information such as your GFs nickname, that a sister died of SIDS so that you can variety any potential relations. Then post it on Facebook, share it on local Lincolnshire stuff for sale pages and ask others to share it.
These kind of things usually get shared around quite a lot.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Have put put out a round robin (with MissyMoos permission) amongst all my Bassingham contacts.

Am also going to try our local Radio- Lincs Fm & see if they'd put out a message. The Sat breakfast show is popular, might get some feedback.

Will pop to Bass. in the morning too for my usual paper & quiz the owners of the Spar shop there, the family have been locals for years,Mum,Dad& 2 sons....the Dad must be about the same age as Joe so might know something.

I'm a sucker for these Long Lost Family things, I'd be SO chuffed if in some way I could find a small piece of the jigsaw. grin

bossy you need to change your name to missmarplesbloomers

There is NO WAY you will come back empty handed!

FlyingFig Fri 31-May-13 23:29:04

Good luck with your search Missy, you've got some good detectives here on the case, I really hope you can make contact with your family soon flowers

Bossy I can't thank you enough for all your help.

I don't know what you do for a living but you are definitely in the wrong job. You need to be a spy, or at least a private detective. grin

Fern65 Fri 31-May-13 23:44:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maryz Fri 31-May-13 23:46:10

Wow.

Imagine if Jackie is Missy's sister. What a story grin.

I luffs mumsnet too.

Is anyone else wishing Missy's dad came from their home town so that they could get more involved, or is that just me?

LaVitaBellissima Fri 31-May-13 23:46:37

Lovely thread OP, I love watching long lost families on Channel 4, I hope you get back in contact smile

mirai Fri 31-May-13 23:51:22

This is wonderful, will be watching for updates! Good luck! smile

Hurra! Go Bossy! grin

zipzap Fri 31-May-13 23:57:47

Another one here keeping their fingers crossed that the combined detective talents of mumsnet will be able to track down the lost half of your family...

Thank you so much Fern I had been googling all sorts of things for hours and hadn't come up with anything at all. I am now composing a message, whilst trying not to sound like someone really dodgy, which is harder than you would imagine when asking if someone could possibly be your sister grin

I actually feel sick with nerves just now.

You lovely lot will be the very first to know if/when she gets back to me.

I really can't thank you all enough for your help and support flowers

Squeeeeeee how exciting!

norks love the new NN might use it!

I couldn't message her on LinkedIn because I'm not a member or something, so I found her business on FB and messaged her on there, but I don't think she uses the page much as there are only 5 likes and one post.

I think I have found her profile on FB so I will wait and see if she messages back from her business page and if not I will ask the lady on FB if she is the same one.

I just apologised in advance if I have it wrong and then gave a brief outline of everything without mentioning names, so now its a case of wait and see if she gets back to me.

Hopefully mismarplesbloomers grin might get some feedback from FB and tweeting the radio as well.

This is just amazing flowers there is literally nothing MN can't do (although I am still trying not to get my hopes up, but its getting harder not to now).

CadleCrap Sat 01-Jun-13 00:30:28

I have teared up after reading this. smile

Good luck Missymoo - hope you get some news soon

anothershittynickname Sat 01-Jun-13 01:06:28

How exciting xx good luck xx

YoniBottsBumgina Sat 01-Jun-13 01:20:17

This is awesome. I have no stalky powers but I love this thread!

garlicgrump Sat 01-Jun-13 01:29:49

Just marking this thread so I can keep up with developments! How exciting! So great of everyone to give so much help ... all the best, Missy, hope it goes well smile

ratbagcatbag Sat 01-Jun-13 01:34:41

With yoni, no stalking powers in the area, but loving this thread. I really hope it all works out smile

LongNeckedDancers Sat 01-Jun-13 01:36:58

smile

FairPhyllis Sat 01-Jun-13 02:35:59

This is the most amazing thread.

My only suggestion is that if he's not traceable in the Bassingham area anymore you should be able to obtain electoral roll records for Bassingham for the period you know he was there by going to the County Archive for Lincolnshire - details here. That would at least give you his full name, address at the time and probably people at the same address, and then that could help you with other kinds of searches. Bassingham doesn't look very big - depending on how the electoral register is structured you could probably go through all the records for Bassingham's civil parish quite quickly.

It's also very possible that the church in Bassingham would be able to help - church wardens and PCC members etc (less so vicars!) tend to have long memories and strong local connections. Or you never know, OP's dad might have been on the parish register (which is different from the UK voting electoral roll) and that would give another way to get his name and address.

HullMum Sat 01-Jun-13 02:52:19

I really hate to be a misery guts but is it possible there is actually a reason your mother doesn't want you to find this man? A really good reason? I can only imagine a few reasons why I would ever keep my husband from my child and all of them are pretty serious.

DeathMetalMum Sat 01-Jun-13 06:56:23

Good luck op smile

IsaacCox Sat 01-Jun-13 07:01:08

This is an amazing thread. Really hope you find him OP. Good luck!

MacMac123 Sat 01-Jun-13 07:11:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheRealFellatio Sat 01-Jun-13 07:12:09

Only just seen this thread and I am SO EXCITED about Jackie the natural healer in Burton Road that I cannot wait for everyone to wake up and get back on the case. grin

Fingers crossed for a happy ending.

TheRealFellatio Sat 01-Jun-13 07:14:24

Also, just because your dad was called B it doesn't follow that it was his first name. Sometimes people are known by their middle names, or just family nicknames that do not appear on their birth certs. I'd follow up all B men of roughly the same age born in the same area.

cakesonatrain Sat 01-Jun-13 07:16:54

Wow, mumsnet is amazing.
Hope you find your family, op.

TheRealFellatio Sat 01-Jun-13 07:18:26

And I would definitely focus on any brothers as they are less likely to have changed their names.

ghosteditor Sat 01-Jun-13 07:21:27

Good luck missy, what an exciting detective story!

Frikadellen Sat 01-Jun-13 07:24:48

Another one wishing you good luck this is really a lovely thread.

NeverBeenToMe Sat 01-Jun-13 07:26:56

Hullmum- that happened to me :/

FruOla Sat 01-Jun-13 07:27:42

What an incredible thread. Best of luck Missy and I hope it all works out well.

BearsInMotion Sat 01-Jun-13 07:42:16

Good luck OP flowers

BikeRunSki Sat 01-Jun-13 08:08:28

I know a Joe who uses it as an abbreviation of Jonatha
n, that might be another thing to search?

Good luck, v exited by this thread!

hesterton Sat 01-Jun-13 08:19:12

There is a Jacqueline B in Lincoln practicing as a natural therapist; her contact details are googlable.

hesterton Sat 01-Jun-13 08:20:29

And a Jacqueline Scoffin who is a counsellor, also easily googlable.

They may be worth a try.

Good luck OP.

QueenStromba Sat 01-Jun-13 08:42:28

There's a Ruth B with a Bassingham address - could she be a sister?

Shamelessly place marking because I want I know what happens-amazing thread! I so hope you find some family OP.

fledtoscotland Sat 01-Jun-13 09:04:54

Marking place too - mumsnet at its best

TwllBach Sat 01-Jun-13 09:06:21

Oh this thread is brilliant! I've got everything crossed for you OP grin

I found a lot f my dads family a few years ago by using the family tree website (I can't remember it's name now!) and it was so satisfying.

ChallyCreaks Sat 01-Jun-13 09:08:26

Wow, what an amazing thread. I really hope there are some positive leads amongst this information. Good luck OP.

MrsSJG Sat 01-Jun-13 09:10:20

Please keep going, we found my beloved uncle's long lost son on Thursday after a search on 192.com. They were reunited yesterday after 30 years, it is very bittersweet as my uncle is in a hospice as he is dying of cancer sad

MrsSJG Sat 01-Jun-13 09:11:43

Just don't give up hope, I am so glad of the Internet grin

Geordieminx Sat 01-Jun-13 09:25:10

Sorry I can't be if any practical help but just wanted to wish you the best if luck.

You have all made me cry you nest of vipers you!

SisterMatic Sat 01-Jun-13 09:25:16

Really hoping for a happy ending
This is Mumsnet at its finest.
Please keep us updated OP xx

VivaLeBeaver Sat 01-Jun-13 09:32:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

aitch66 Sat 01-Jun-13 09:54:56

Hi. I grew up in Bassingham, and now live nearby. It is not that big - but from the time when you seem to be talking it was really small, and everyone knew everyone! People here will know of your father, we just need to connect you with the right people.
The Witham Staple is definitely a good approach, it is free and delivered to all the houses in Bassingham and the surrounding villages. The editor is called Paul - paul@withamstaple.com. Deadline for the July edition is 15.6.13 according to the current one.
If you want to message his name directly I will ask my parents and a few others - who are of that age.
Good Luck!

milkymocha Sat 01-Jun-13 09:56:12

Please update OP, iam so excited reading this thread!!

curlyLJ Sat 01-Jun-13 10:04:41

Good luck OP, I really hope one or some of the leads you have from this thread will come to something. I have never met my dad and have never really tried looking for him as I have so little to go on, but this had made me think anything is possible smile

Keep us updated and good luck!

Limelight Sat 01-Jun-13 10:23:58

Wow! The power of MN grin

Good luck OP!

Oh wow thank you all so much for replying I haven't heard back from J yet but her business is open on Saturdays so hopefully she will check her emails or her FB today at some point. You lot will be the first people I tell when she emails me back.

MacMac I know they were called B at one point, they were in their 20s when I was a baby so I would think they probably aren't called by that name now, there is M, J and S (who I think died).

Viva if you could ask that group that would be brilliant, thank you.

Aitch thank you, I'll email him just now, I contacted the Echo so hopefully I will hear from them next week. My Dads name is B.

Hullmum thank you for your concern, I would imagine she did have her reasons and the fact he has had so many children by so many women makes me think he probably isn't/wasn't the greatest bloke on the earth, but he is still my Dad and I really want to know my family history, and my siblings. I have thought about all the possibilities and am ready in case any of them are true.

I will just go and check out the other therapist and R B just now and try these B numbers I was given too and get emailing and checking the Archives.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to help me and support me with this. You are all bloody amazing. flowers

KenDoddsDadsDog Sat 01-Jun-13 10:31:29

Good luck !!

picklepepper Sat 01-Jun-13 11:19:54

Good Luck Missy, I'm really rooting for you. this thread has really warmed my heart!

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts Sat 01-Jun-13 11:26:00

oh this is amazing. rooting for you OP smile

anyone else thinking we should get this moved from chat im desperate to see how this works out and don't want it to disappear forever after 30 days if there's no luck before then.

VivaLeBeaver Sat 01-Jun-13 11:28:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FruOla Sat 01-Jun-13 11:34:30

It will stay here for 90 days, ALovely.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Sat 01-Jun-13 11:36:20

Sorry, but I am blatantly marking place smile

OP, I reckon you are going to find your dad as you have all these lovely MNers helping you....

claraschu Sat 01-Jun-13 11:43:15

What an amazing thread-

Missy, if you find any potential siblings, you could include a link to this thread to this thread in your email, and you would certainly not look dodgy to them then, I think.

TidyDancer Sat 01-Jun-13 11:48:37

This thread is why I love mumsnet. smile

Best of luck OP. I did something similar a few years ago looking for my dad's side of the family. He was very poorly at the time (sadly he didn't pull through) and I really wanted to trace them all (there were loads of them!). He lost touch with people due to being ambivalent about staying in touch, but regretted it later.

Well I did it! I have now met cousins and second cousins etc etc and we now all meet up twice a year and are close. We missed out on many years, but are making up for it now.

Nest of vipers, eh? wink

MinnieBar Sat 01-Jun-13 11:51:08

Really hope you find some of your family OP - if not your dad, then some siblings who should understand your situation smile

Euphemia Sat 01-Jun-13 11:56:42

Ooh this thread is breaking my heart!
I hope you find your family. X

ComradeJing Sat 01-Jun-13 12:18:35

Good luck OP!

<I'm thread marking but really wish you the best too!>

MuddlingMackem Sat 01-Jun-13 12:19:29

Just thought. The suggestions for searching the electoral roll? Shouldn't you be searching for your mum for the years before you moved to Scotland? That would then give you the address and you would be able to see who was in the same house with her? Which would presumably give you possibilities for your dad's full real name. If they opted out of the searchable one though you may have to look it up at where the archives are held. Or it may be too long ago to be searchable online anyway.

MissMarplesBloomers Sat 01-Jun-13 12:23:39

<twirls> 'Tis I the nosy cah woman formerly known as Bossybritches!

Quite like my new NN thanks Norks

Ok to business. Have had a message from a friend via the FB appeal post I did last night, she went to school with a M B......long shot but we're persuing it.

<tries not to get excited>

Off to spread the word in Bassingham.

anothershittynickname Sat 01-Jun-13 12:30:27

Oh wow MissMarples - fingers crossed xx

Muddling - that's a REALLY good idea, however, I think they should all be searchable from the time her parents were together as I'm fairly sure that the opt out option is pretty recent xx

MuddlingMackem Sat 01-Jun-13 12:49:38

another

good news if the opt-out option is recent, might make it possible then.

This is so wonderful! Really hope you get some answers OP! (Ponders what on earth we'd do without 'tinternet)

This is amazing. Really hope you get somewhere with it OP.

The power of mumsnet....

Thank you Viva I will PM you my name in a minute just in case anyone gets in touch and I end up finding myself grin

Muddling do you know something, in all the years I have been trying I have never once thought to try my Mothers name, I can't believe it didn't cross my mind before. I am going to get right on that this afternoon. I'm kicking myself that I didn't think of that.

clara I also didn't think to email the link to this thread, I will in future though, that would have been far more sensible than explaining that I am not some mad random spammer or con artist, which never goes down well on a first email (and is possibly the reason she hasn't emailed back yet)

Once again thank you for your messages and help and stories of finding your long lost relatives, this is just so amazing flowers

Another quick update, a lady who does this type of research for tv programmes has just been in touch and is going to have a look, she has taken all my details and is going to see what she can do and call me back next week.

I'm also in touch with the lovely MissMarple (a much more fitting name) who has taken a lot of time and effort to help me, so hopefully M B might be a possibility as well. (Yet another huge THANK YOU to you)

I promise I'll keep you all updated. flowers

CouthyMow Sat 01-Jun-13 15:01:03

I'm not able to help, I am not very super-sleuthy like done of these wonderful MN'ers, and I live far too far away, but I am shamelessly place-marking to see if there is a resolution to this!

I think this thread shows MN at it's best. grin

Good luck in your search, OP.

She may not have replied yet because she's at work and is trying to get her head around it and hasn't thought of a suitable reply yet.

Good luck in your search smile

MuddlingMackem Sat 01-Jun-13 15:35:59

MissyMoo

I really hope that the electoral roll turns up something for you. Fingers crossed. smile

FruOla Sat 01-Jun-13 15:38:47

"the sheltered housing places I emailed haven't been back in touch yet, and Bossy went past the sheltered housing place (thank you) but the warden was away home for the weekend."

One thought about this, Missy, is that even if you contact the Warden, she/he might not be able to give you any information because of Data Protection.

It might need a personal visit to the specific address from someone else; which, of course, needs very careful handling - not that I need to tell you that.

(I'm an adopted person, having not found either of my birth parents.)

lateSeptember1964 Sat 01-Jun-13 15:40:04

I hope I haven't sent you on a wild goose chase with the J info. I do think though its worth exploring. Apologies in advance if it comes to nothing. Will keep reading the thread with fingers crossed. Was your father the first B in Lincoln. Did you say his father was Canadian in which case is there an RAF link?

MissMarplesBloomers Sat 01-Jun-13 15:43:57

Hope the TV lady comes through for you MM, that would save a lot of chasing up dead ends.

Bit of a frustrating morning in Bassingham, although I was not really going to find someone going "Oh yes I know old Joe" on first attempt though was I? <ever hopeful >

However the local shopkeeper was expecting one of his regulars to pop in for his Saturday loaf. This chap has lived in Bassingham since god were a lad and is probably about same age as Joe, so again might know something & I have left my number.

I have put out lots of feelers & the jungle drums being what they are round here it will have a ripple effect.

<when we all want answers NOW dammit!> grin

Good point quietbat

Also t'internet is only as current as the people adding the info, if these contacts are old posts/websites folks might have moved on/changed contact details.

Poor MM is starting to think all Lincolnshire folk are incommunicative technophobes wink

FruOla Sat 01-Jun-13 15:46:11

Oh, yes, lateSeptember, clever thought.
Maybe 'Grandad' was Royal Canadian Air Force?

Tiggygirl Sat 01-Jun-13 15:56:02

Loving this thread.

FruOla Sat 01-Jun-13 15:57:52
Bassinghamborn Sat 01-Jun-13 16:07:18

I think I have met your Dad! I also grew up in Bassingham and he used to come in the Bells (one of the local pubs) when I worked there.

I have emailed a friend who's Dad was friendly with him with a link to this thread. Hope that can help!

MissMarplesBloomers Sat 01-Jun-13 16:11:39

Eeeeeekkkkkk!!!!!

FruOla Sat 01-Jun-13 16:19:35

Interesting first post Bassinghamborn. I hope you're genuinely here to help the OP?

ShipwreckedAndComatose Sat 01-Jun-13 16:24:54

Wow! Cool thread.

Hope one of the leads turns up trumps for you!

BAssinghamborn, that seems too good to be true!

looseleaf Sat 01-Jun-13 16:26:00

I feel a bit sceptical as not a very subtle choice of name Bassingborn?. Forgive me if cynical but not many other mumsnet names focus on where they were born do they?
OP there is so much goodwill for you here I hope you have a positive answer soon

looseleaf Sat 01-Jun-13 16:27:19

(Sorry Bassinghamborn, I get I'm wrong and kind of you to help - I'll disappear as didnt mean to be rude! Hope I wasn't!)

VivaLeBeaver Sat 01-Jun-13 16:28:12

Maybe it's someone who's name changed as they don't want to out themselves?

MissMarplesBloomers Sat 01-Jun-13 16:29:42

I did wonder FruOla

Maybe s/he is a namechanger, or was directed here by someone else? Why would you make it up?

Guess stranger things have happened though...

Bassinghamborn Sat 01-Jun-13 16:31:33

It's a name change. I don't post very often but didn't want to completely out myself!

MissMarplesBloomers Sat 01-Jun-13 16:33:23

Fair enough BB have PM'd you! grin

QOD Sat 01-Jun-13 16:37:14

Oh exciting!

Hoping you don't end up on Jeremey Kyle though!

Oh wow, I have PM'd you Bassingham <excited>

I hadn't thought about how 'Grandad' got across here before, so thank you for that. I will look into that tonight and have a proper scout around the electoral rolls too.

Also when I messaged the sheltered housing place I did say that I understand about data protection etc so gave them my number to pass on if they feel it was appropriate.

Late please don't apologise, even if it comes to nothing then it was well worth looking at, its conversations like that that may very well find some of my family that I could never find by googling so I really appreciate you telling me.

Oh and don't worry, the lady works for The One Show, not Jezza Kyle grin

Thank you for all your messages and ideas and help you are all amazing flowers

MissMarplesBloomers Sat 01-Jun-13 16:55:57

FruOla I did wonder about the data protection thing too.....but I was going to explain the story to the warden & leave my name & number
hoping to appeal to their better nature?

Up to her/him if they pass it on - might add this link too!!

minimarshmallow81 Sat 01-Jun-13 16:56:43

Oooh, 'citing! Just marking my place to see what you lovelies will turn up next.

MissMarplesBloomers Sat 01-Jun-13 17:32:30

ooh crossposted with MM !

fergoose Sat 01-Jun-13 19:48:46

this thread is why I love the internet. So many awful stories in the news at the moment about people doing and looking at awful things online - you forget how wonderful it can be and how it can bring people together in a fabulous way.

MissMarplesBloomers Sat 01-Jun-13 20:01:12

Well said Fergoose grin

RalphGnu Sat 01-Jun-13 20:08:47

Shamelessly marking my place for good news! Best of luck in your search, Missy smile

mrsspongebob Sat 01-Jun-13 20:08:59

marking place. excellent thread.

I bookmarked this thread earlier as I was dying to see how it was going.

My dad has five children and only my brother and I are in touch, my half siblings know who I am etc and speak to my dad, but we don't speak to each other. It's sad, I could contact these people, but we have no relationship and my dad never tried to forge one between us. It's really made me think, because we could so easily end up in the same situation as you.

Wishing you all the luck with your search flowers

lateSeptember1964 Sat 01-Jun-13 20:26:02

On a side note I never knew there were so many Lincoln/Lincolnshire mumsnetters. Why have we never had a meet up? One day we should organise this.

QueenStromba Sat 01-Jun-13 20:42:39

My grandfather left my grandmother and had a new family. I've never met him and he's been dead more than 20 years but getting a copy of my father's birth cert recently in order to get my first British passport and seeing his name on it made me start thinking about it. I've given up on my family because both sides are completely fucked up but I have a romantic notion of my half uncles and aunts being well adjusted and welcoming me into the fold.

FairPhyllis Sat 01-Jun-13 20:44:07

British Library guide to tracing living people: page with link to pdf booklet here

There are also lots of commercial tracing services like this one and this one (I don't have any links with these businesses, I just found them with a Google search).

Obviously though it sounds as if you are off to a flying start with the help of Lincolnshire MNers, and on the ground enquiries can often be simplest. I am quite amused at how well networked everyone in Lincolnshire seems to be with each other though, and that there seems to be no part of Britain into which the tentacles of MN do not extend smile.

This is the nicest thread I've read in ages. Go Mumsnet, really hope it works out for you op.x

BoffinMum Sat 01-Jun-13 21:14:12

Just marking thread as I am quite excited on behalf of the OP!

MissMarplesBloomers Sat 01-Jun-13 21:19:26

YY to a Lincolnshire meet up. grin

I still haven't heard back from Jackie, its almost like she has a life that doesn't revolve around waiting for an email from me, the nerve of her grin

MissMarple has come up with a really good idea of someone local to contact and is very kindly going to see her on Monday.

I'm off to start searching these records and things now and I'll let you all know if I find anything.

Thank you all again for your messages and stories and links and help, I am so overwhelmed with the kindness that everyone has shown and I promise I will keep you updated flowers

MaureenMLove Sat 01-Jun-13 22:07:33

Yet again, MN proves to the world, just how big a nest of vipers it is! wink

I can't help in any way, what so ever, but I wish you lots of luck in your incredible quest. Seems to me, that whatever the outcome, one thing you will have found, is new friendships. smile

marking place. what a lovely thread grin

hope it works out for you op

have often wondered about starting my own thread to find my dad but im a bit scared and dont know much at all confused

MissMarplesBloomers Sat 01-Jun-13 22:47:00

InLove MN could help you & hold your hand!

Just popping in to gawp at the wonderfulness of MumsNet. shock

And to congratulate MissMarplesBloomers on a really lovely and inspired name change grin

Whenever people point to the Internet destroying personal connections and community and blame computers for everything wrong in the world, we can just point at this thread and say 'You are wrong'

Good luck missy

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood Sat 01-Jun-13 22:57:19

marking a place.. sorry.. yes as I am fascinated by the story I hope it works out well for you

MissMarplesBloomers Sat 01-Jun-13 23:03:09

Norks credit where it is due......grin

xMinerva Sat 01-Jun-13 23:18:32

Just read this thread Missy it's wonderful all the people offering help, I really hope you get somewhere.

Without meaning to hijack, I thought you might have been talking about my bio father in your op but as you have more info I realised it wasn't the same man.

Similar circs though, haven't seen him since I was 6 months old, I have brothers and sisters I haven't met and he was also last known to live in Lincoln. Never quite managed to track him down.

Good luck with your search.

DuvetHog Sat 01-Jun-13 23:22:17

Also being a nosey cow and marking place. Really hope it works out for you op!

HolidayArmadillo Sat 01-Jun-13 23:29:10

Really hope you get some answers, Mumsnet at its best!

BriansBrain Sat 01-Jun-13 23:41:06

Just read this thread and I'm not surprised that you have had so much assistance, wish I could do more than just post but marking my place for now.

missmarple maybe one day soon grin i will take the plunge. i honestly have no idea where to begin

I have a new and very exciting update (well it is for me anyway) a lovely MNer (thank you very, very much) has found a record of my someone getting married in the 60s with my dads last name who had daughters called S, who died the same year, M and J, and his name is R B one of my brothers middle names is R so it must be my Dad. All these years I have been looking for a B and I should have been looking for a R (although he was known as B). I am so angry my Mother never told me, she must have known.

Oh my goodness I can't believe this.

Thank you all (especially the MNer who messaged me that information) so very much flowers

InLove please look how far I have got in a couple of days thanks to all the brilliant help I have got on here you should give it a go.

AuntPepita Sun 02-Jun-13 00:03:51

Wow! Keep us posted!

MuddlingMackem Sun 02-Jun-13 00:07:48

Wow! That's great news. smile

garlicgrump Sun 02-Jun-13 00:11:08

omgomgomgomgomg!!!

grin

Not that I'm excited for you or anything flowers

Having a full name will speed things up no end, won't it, especially with the Mumsnet Viper-Sleuths on the case.

I did notice where you said he seemed to have a 'reputation' locally, so you're not nursing unrealistic fantasies. It will just be so amazing to fill in more of the picture! Good luck!

notapizzaeater Sun 02-Jun-13 00:11:15

That's brilliant news grin

moonblues Sun 02-Jun-13 00:14:45

That's amazing news MM. Good luck with the rest of your search.

MissMarplesBloomers Sun 02-Jun-13 00:23:10

FAB news will update all my contacts tomorrow after discussing battle plans with MM ....grin

I can't even start looking yet I am so happy and excited I am literally shaking, I need a few minutes to calm down first.

I'm under no illusions he has been rescuing orphaned kittens or knitting rainbows all these years garlic he has somewhere in the region of 16 children by lots of women and if he is the same man bassingham met many years ago then he had a reputation as a womaniser in the pub he drank in, and he was 'known' around the area for getting into fights and whatnot (which is why I tried the police) so, although I'm not really expecting to find him alive (he was born in 1936 according to the message I got from the lady who found my Dads name) if I do I am prepared for the fact he might not be a nice bloke.

Poor MissMarple keeps getting really incoherant excited messages from me every time I find out something new grin

Thank you all (again) for your messages and help and support flowers

TotallyBursar Sun 02-Jun-13 00:56:51

Amazing news.
Jeez, so close - exciting, nerve wracking, you must have a lot of feelings to try and wrangle into shape.
Amazing work.
Hanging on for more updates even though I'm no use, I'm virtually (and literally blush ) cheering you on. thanks wine

BistoBear Sun 02-Jun-13 01:07:23

Exciting news! Good luck smile

Good luck marking place

LongNeckedDancers Sun 02-Jun-13 01:18:30

smile

scaredycat12 Sun 02-Jun-13 01:21:33

There is a B listed on 192.com as living in Grantham NG31. I don't have an account to get any further details from the site.

Good Luck!

brdgrl Sun 02-Jun-13 01:23:09

So exciting! I'm really pleased you've gotten this far and I hope you are able to meet at least some of your family.
Lovely thread.

I've just had a look on Genes Reunited and there is someone on there with him listed as a relative so I have just sent them a message to see what relation they are to my Dad.

Thank you scaredy I have had a quick look on there and I'm going to sort out a membership tomorrow so I can see the details, there are another 10 Bs living in the area as well (lets hope some of them pick up their phones). In other news I have been looking and looking and I can't find any record of death anywhere for him. Its almost too much to hope for that he may be alive.

There is absolutely no chance I am getting any sleep tonight grin

BergholtStuttleyJohnson Sun 02-Jun-13 01:43:45

Good luck op! This thread is lovely and made me well up a bit. I really hope you find your dad and siblings.

Paddlinglikehell Sun 02-Jun-13 01:48:02

Just read the whole thread, very excited for you, it does sound like you are getting nearer.

Best of luck

Anjou Sun 02-Jun-13 03:06:34

Just read your story OP. I'm so sorry for your losses, but I'm thrilled by how far your search has leapt forward in such a short time! Well done to all those that have helped. Hope that this latest lead brings you closer to finding your family. smile

Thank you, I am searching friends reunited and facebook to see if I can find M or J at the moment. I still can't find any records of my Dad dying although I'm trying not to get my hopes up about finding him alive.

I have calmed down a tiny bit now and realised that my sisters are only about 10 years older than me, but the photo my mother gave me was (supposedly) of me as a baby with 2 women who were around 20, so its either not me, or its not them. I'm really not sure what to make of that tbh.

I have also sent an email to the Canadian air Force to see if they can help me at all, its a bit of a long shot but you just never know, I really didn't think I'd get this far.

I still haven't heard back from Jackie so I'm going to leave it until midweek then message the person I think it is on FB, if I don't hear back from her after that I will just leave it, I don't want to harrass or upset her.

I did email the other therapist on that road as well but I don't think I'll hear back from many people until Monday now.

I'm also tryng to track down the person who listed my Dad as a relative on Genes Reunited on FB but there are a few of them and I have no idea of the area so I'll leave it a few days to see if I get an email back before I start messaging around them.

I can't believe how far I have come in a couple of days thanks to the lovely people on MN and I am so grateful for all the support you lovely lot have shown.

You will be the first people to know of any more updates, of which I hope there will be many now I have my Dads real, full name.

TheRealFellatio Sun 02-Jun-13 03:39:18

You see, I said B might be a nickname or a middle name! I bet that B in B is the pesky culprit. so glad you are making such great progress - how exciting!

You were 100% right TheReal grin there is no way I would ever have been able to hazard a guess as to what it was though.

I can't help wondering what the E stands for in his name as well.

It seems that my sister has her Mums first name as a middle name, I have my sisters names as my middle names, one of my brothers middle names is my Dads first name, but come to think of it there are 3 more middle names of my brothers that I know haven't got anything to do with my Mothers family, I wonder if they could be the names of some more of his children.

mirai Sun 02-Jun-13 03:54:17

Moo, are you so excited you can't sleep?! smile

Haha mirai just a little bit, I'm usually a terrible sleeper anyway but I have given up on the whole idea of it tonight. My dc will start getting up in a couple of hours so there is no point even trying now grin

MissTweed Sun 02-Jun-13 04:33:33

If you know the names of some if your siblings could you look up the names of their children (via birth certificates) as they are more likely to be on Facebook (and more frequently)

Oh my goodness! Fingers crossed for you.

What a bunch of amazing women MNers sre

FruOla Sun 02-Jun-13 05:12:46

OMG, things have moved on apace - what fantastic news. Hopefully you will not only find your father, but also some of your siblings.

(I know I have older siblings, as my BF was already married with a family when he had an affair with my BM - and she may have gone on to have more children after me. So I'm vicariously excited for you!)

Euphemia Sun 02-Jun-13 07:06:51

I bet the E is Edward. Edward VIII came to the throne in January 1936.

Sorry to jump in from nowhere but I've been reading this thread and getting more and more interested as I love family history research and general sleuthing.

Have looked in the births deaths and marriage records and Bs birth was registered in Lincoln in 1946 - would that mean he's too young to be your dad (it would make him 67)?

Or is it another B?

MinnieBar Sun 02-Jun-13 08:23:25

First thing I did this morning after playing a bit of CandyCrush was check this thread - so exciting! Hope you're not too exhausted today OP.

magimedi Sun 02-Jun-13 08:27:41

So exciting.

Jackie could be on holiday & not looking at her emails, Missy. When I go away for a fortnight I rarely look at the internet.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Sun 02-Jun-13 08:43:35

Just checking in to see how you are doing.

Remember to verify the name you have by cross checking before leaping in. You can get coincidences (more. Common than you would think) and so it's best to confirm somehow.

Clarabella is right.

Hopefully, he's the one though, and if not, that net is definitely tightening grin

MissMarplesBloomers Sun 02-Jun-13 08:52:01

Checking in for duty Boss!

<adjusts collar on tweed suit & hoiks impossibly large handbag onto forearm>

Bloody weekend does get in the way of sleuthing.

Might have to do actual housework today for heavens
sake.
grin

QueenStromba Sun 02-Jun-13 09:13:46

There's actually an entry on 192.com for a B living in Bassingham as recently as 2002.

MacMac123 Sun 02-Jun-13 09:15:15

SO EXCITING!
ROLAND WE ARE ON YOUR TRAIL!

MissMarplesBloomers Sun 02-Jun-13 09:36:35

Queen coud you PM me if there's an address? Thanks.

I know MacMac impossible not to get excited isn't it ?

I have visions of random Mr B' all over Lincolnshire being pounced on
by MN-ers -

"do you have a daughter called Missy eh? eh?"

FadBook Sun 02-Jun-13 09:38:15

Wow what an amazing thread so far. Shamelessly marking my place to check for updates. Good luck OP I hope you find what you're looking for.

Cerisier Sun 02-Jun-13 09:50:58

Wow what an amazing thread- good luck MM, it sounds like you are getting close!

Purpletots Sun 02-Jun-13 09:53:52

Wow what a great thread. I wish you all the best in finding your family smile

Just remember if you msg someone on FB they might not actually get it as it will possibly go in their 'other box' .

QueenStromba Sun 02-Jun-13 10:04:25

It's behind a paywall and I don't have any 192 credits MissMarple. If anyone does have some you just need to type in B and Bassingham - there's only two results, R and R.

Good morning all, just a quick one because I'm on my phone (so this will probably post twice if at all, bloody app always plays up for me) I looked for most of the night and can't find and record of death for him anywhere I checked all the public records and the papers, I'm starting to think he may be alive. Not much luck with Marianne or Joanne but I'm going to try and see if I can find if either of them are married since my Dad is on their birth certificates I think they are my best bet.

Thank you so much for all your messages and support and help and I'll go on the laptop and reply properly later on thanks

MissMarplesBloomers Sun 02-Jun-13 10:15:06

Ok thanks Queen !!

This thread just shows what can be achieved by the great combined effort of MN, well done thanks.

cjdamoo Sun 02-Jun-13 10:18:10

great thread :D

sashh Sun 02-Jun-13 10:19:04

I hope you find your family.

We 'found' an aunt of my mum who had not been in contact for decades, she put an add in the local paper, all her relatives had moved away but the wife of my father's relative saw the notice.

I didn't even know she existed.

It can happen.

Darnley Sun 02-Jun-13 10:23:50

Great thread. Shameless place marking...

QueenStromba Sun 02-Jun-13 10:35:05

After a bit of googling it seems that local libraries hold a copy of the electoral roll and they might even be willing to give out details over the phone. Definitely worth a phone call tomorrow I think.

BearPear Sun 02-Jun-13 11:06:25

Just jumping on to Missy's band wagon here and crossing everything for a result sooner rather than later.

I totally "get" the addiction to sleuthing, when I first got started on my own family tree I lost hours hunting online, almost missed Christmas and the house & kids were unkempt for days on end!

OH MY GIDDY AUNT

A very exciting update, a lovely MNer has just messaged my with details of who I think is my brother, and an address.

He has the same first names as my brothers middle names and his father is the same as M, J and s, who I am certain is my Dad.

I am in floods of tears here. And very thankful that my Dad stuck to a weird pattern when naming his children grin

I am going to send a carefully worded email to him just now. And will let you know if/when I get a reply.

I really can't begin to thank you all enough, this is amazing. And thank you so much to the MNer who has tracked down the guy who is hopefully my brother. flowers

FruOla Sun 02-Jun-13 11:21:10

My goodness, all this information in less than three days - what an amazing network MN is! I hope you get a swift reply from him Missy.

Elefant1 Sun 02-Jun-13 11:28:27

QueenStromba local libraries may have the electoral roll but will not be able to give out any information over the phone as it is against the law!
I saw this thread last night and had a play on freebmd to see if I could find anything but failed so very impressed by whoever found the marriage and birth records.
Hope you manage to find him OP.

noviceoftheday Sun 02-Jun-13 11:28:56

Omg! I have been lurking. blushHow exciting! Fingers and toes crossed for you.

MardyBra Sun 02-Jun-13 11:29:25

This is an amazing thread. Because MN is such a vast network, maybe it would make sense to have a special topic where others can also track down long lost friends and relatives.

Good luck op. flowers

ShipwreckedAndComatose Sun 02-Jun-13 11:30:10

This is fast approaching a classics thread grin

Good luck xx

As someone who used the Salvation Army (successfully) to trace my mum many years ago, I totally understand what is driving you now.

I traced estranged family of a dear, now departed, friend. They said they had been looking for him for years but it only took me a month to find them. The final piece in the puzzle was a grandsons birth cert, with my friends name as his middle name. He'd been listed as a player in a junior football team in a local paper so I contacted the coach of the team. The Internet did it all.
Wasn't all roses sadly but well worth doing.

I bookmarked this thread a couple of days ago and am delighted to see how far you have progressed already smile

Good luck, I'm here cheering you and your team of sleuths from the sidelines flowers

mrsspongebob Sun 02-Jun-13 11:47:39

This is MN at its best. Shame the likes of Amanda Holden only seem to draw attention to the negatives.

MissMarplesBloomers Sun 02-Jun-13 12:23:21

Quite MrSpongebob shall we send her the link?! grin

Missy how fab is that, but I understand your caution. How exciting!!!

mrsspongebob Sun 02-Jun-13 12:41:58

I would tweet it but too much personal information re the op and her family and also I have no idea how to work it!

anothershittynickname Sun 02-Jun-13 12:44:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maryz Sun 02-Jun-13 13:16:37

I am delighted for you missy, this is fantastic.

But I have to say I'm a bit shocked by how quick and easy it has been. Imagine being a "battered wife" on the run these days. It would be easy for an abusive partner to post something about looking for a long-lost sister, and saying he had heard she might have children of certain names, and that she might have moved to such and such an area.

I'm not, of course, saying that this isn't great for you Missy, and in your case you are looking for adult siblings rather than for, for example, children who don't want to be found. But my children are adopted, and I suspect are much easier to find these days than might have been thought of when their were first placed with me.

Having said all that: squeeeeeeeeeeeeee [excited] this is great.

anothershittynickname Sun 02-Jun-13 13:21:34

If it's not been mentioned already I think I've found M's birth record:

1970 in Sleaford and mothers maiden name the same as that as one B married a couple of years before.

Does this date tie in with what you know? Ancestry shows middle names / initials too which could help your trace with her :-) xx

MuddlingMackem Sun 02-Jun-13 13:22:46

MardyBra Sun 02-Jun-13 11:29:25

>>>> This is an amazing thread. Because MN is such a vast network, maybe it would make sense to have a special topic where others can also track down long lost friends and relatives. <<<<<

But they wouldn't get as much traffic from people just being nosy, so chat is probably the best place for them. Plus chat doesn't get archived so all the more personal details will just disappear.

anothershittynickname Sun 02-Jun-13 13:25:30

Wow xx I just saw the update xx

Exciting stuff xx

(PS - sorry for my earlier duplicate post) xx

MardyBra Sun 02-Jun-13 13:30:18

Muddling - I've started a thread in Site Stuff and I agree there may be issues with personal details. MNHQ have replied that they'll look into it.

Sorry for the hijack OP.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/1770088-How-about-a-new-topic-for-tracking-down-long-lost-family-friends?msgid=39437591

thanksamillion Sun 02-Jun-13 16:51:37

I was thinking along similar lines Maryz.

It seems in this case that MM's Dad had quite the reputation so I don't imagine it will be too much of a surprise for any siblings to discover that there are others, but in other cases it could easily be that the existence of an 'other' family could be quite shocking.

Hi, sorry I haven't been on this afternoon, I stupidly made plans before I started this, I have now cleared everything for the next week though grin

I emailed staying at, I did find a phone number but thought it best to email first so I don't put him on the spot.

Another yes that is my sister, I have been looking for any trace of her getting married but I can't see anything, the same with Joanne so I wonder if they changed their names, I'm going to look for people with their Mothers maiden name and their first names as well.

I have also been wondering if I have a sister out there with my name as a middle name, its so strange to think about, but I did have a sheep named after me so maybe thats as far as he went naming anything after me grin

Maryz I have been too caught up in the up side of being able to trace people like this I didn't think about the down side, it is quite scary to think that it could, and probably will, be used for less than good intentions sad I can only promise I am genuine and I don't have any ulterior motives other than to know where I came from and hopefully get to know some of my family.

Thats a great idea Mardy I'm glad MNHQ are having a think about it. I can see they would have to be careful in case it is misused though.

Once again can I thank MissMarple who has been just amazing in helping me and just being there every time I need a <shriek> and all of the MNers who have messaged and posted with leads on my family and stories and support, you are all brilliant flowers I will let you know if I find anything else out and if/when my brother and Jackie email or call me.

Maryz Sun 02-Jun-13 17:01:57

Missy, I don't doubt you at all. And I'm really pleased for you - I think for a child (or an adult) to be unable to access their personal history must be awful. And for your mother to deliberately keep it from you now you are an adult is unforgivable, imo. Fair enough when you were a vulnerable child, in case he turns out to be a problem. But not when you are an adult.

And if my children were searching for their parents, I would be right behind them, using every resource I could. Mumsnet has been fantastic here.

I think, though, if it's ok by you I might copy my post to Mardy's in site stuff. Suppose you were, for example "Marianne's" extranged and abusive partner, and went this long convoluted way about tracing her, it would be hard for mumnsetters to know.

And it's fecking frightening how much identifying information is online. I think these days if you were escaping from DV you would have to go the whole hog and change names.

And thanksamillion, you are right about that. If someone contacted me out of the blue to say their were my dad's illegitimate child I'd be very surprised. But in that instance, I would say they had a right to know about him - I'm very much in favour of children having a right to find their parents. The other way around, not so much.

TheRealFellatio Sun 02-Jun-13 17:09:22

I was thinking along the same linse Maryz. Although I am thrilled (from a selfish point of view) to feel so connected to the details of the story as it unfolds I can't help feeling a bit squeamish about real living people being named and their home towns being published without their knowledge. Especially in ight of the delicate subject matter. I think it would have been better to keep some of this (admittedly very helpful and fascinating) info in private PMs to Missy alone, with just the most vague updates to us hangers-on!

Much though it pains me to say it. grin

And part of me is concerned that there is too much pressure on Missy for a happy ending now. I feel a bit like Graham waiting in the wings on Jezza in case she needs some counselling if they all turn out to be inbred axe murderers. confused

garlicgrump Sun 02-Jun-13 17:16:26

I just think it's the way it is. Access to information has made a "village" of us all. This thread shows a striking example of that, as Bassingham evidently was/is a village of the physical kind, where everybody knows everything about anybody and all that they knew!

As such, I don't see it as an issue that has changed; it's rather that the chit-chat has a different emphasis. The global village renders major life events more widely visible than the geographic community, but shares much less of personal trivia. You can keep something like an addiction hidden from the global community, for example, but not from your village neighbours.

Actually hiding for good has always been very difficult. It's still possible.

Maryz Sun 02-Jun-13 17:21:25

I think the difference is garlic, that in the old days you could leave the village. You could up sticks from Bassingham and travel to the big smoke (probably Lincoln originally, then London, then the rest of the world) and escape the village. You used to be able to hide your tracks. Now you have to use your real name, your date of birth, all your details to get a job, a bank account, to send your children to school. And all those are online.

They used to be "findable" by police or other law agencies. Now a load of middle aged women sitting in front of their screens in their living rooms can do it all. Which is fan-fucking-tastic if both parties want to be found. It's wonderful that so many people have found out about their families, their backgrounds, friends they have lost along the way.

But if you don't want to be found, you are screwed. Nowadays, it doesn't matter where you go your past will follow you.

garlicgrump Sun 02-Jun-13 17:24:06

Without wishing to derail this brilliant thread, here's a gentle reminder that domestic abuse survivors often are given new legal identities smile

MissMarplesBloomers Sun 02-Jun-13 17:25:13

TRF & Maryz quite valid concerns, to reassure you from my point of view & all the other MN-ers who've found bits of the jigsaw the PM's have been pinging into Missy's inbox with loads more detail than has been posted here so hopefully it won't be too revealing but I agree completely is easy to get carried away in the excitment of it all. I shall rein in my big mouth enthusiasm !! grin

I think too, MM is quite resigned to the fact a happy ending might not be forthcoming (not wishing to put words in her mouth)

Personally I think it would be the not knowing that would be killing me so lets hope she finds something if not the whole story.

I know TheReal the only reason I have put so many details on here is because its in chat and will disappear. If I do manage to get in touch with anyone I will tell them about this and ask for it to be deleted (but start another thread to let you know how its going) if they aren't happy about it.

Maryz thats fine re copying your post, and actually, thinking about it, if they do make a topic for finding family then it might be better if it disappeared after 30 days or something, but then that would probably defeat the point of having it in the first place.

I have my feet totally on the ground about a happy ending, I'm not holding out any expectations at all, really I would just like to know my history (especially genetic history) to be able to tell my children and know some details about my Dad and if being an axe murderer is in my genes that would also be nice to know so I can question my brother when he comes to visit and shows a strange compulsion to pop out to Homebase if I'm annoying him grin

Maryz Sun 02-Jun-13 17:31:29

Sorry Missy, I won't mention it again or derail this thread further. I am genuinely delighted that after all these years you are getting answers.

The fantastic thing about having up to 16 or more siblings is that you are bound to get along with at least one of them!

And if I was you I would feel a slightly sneaky delight in having over-ridden your mother in this. As the mother of a small child she may have had her reasons, but as the mother of an adult she has absolutely no right whatsoever to keep any information she has from you.

I've told my kids that the minute they want information I will give them what I have, and sign anything they need to get more. That's my job as their mother, to help them find their birth parents if they want to.

MissMarplesBloomers Sun 02-Jun-13 17:32:17

Ha x-posted with MM again....sorry!!

Maryz Sun 02-Jun-13 17:33:25

No, don't reign in your enthusiasm MissMarples. I too have hugely enjoyed this thread smile

Haha MissMarple cross post (again) grin

Maryz please don't apologise, your concerns are perfectly valid, as demonstrated on this thread, and actually I am glad you brought it up because its making me have a think about my online presence now.

And I wish it was a sneaky delight I was feeling, but its not, its out and out smugness, if we weren't estranged I would probably be doing a little 'in your face' cheerleading dance just now grin

Haha crossposted with the crosspost about crossposting MissMarple grin

Maryz Sun 02-Jun-13 17:45:21

[arf] at all the cross-posting (and at the in-your-face-smuggy-dance).

I just love the enthusiasm on this thread. It's great to see.

MissMarplesBloomers Sun 02-Jun-13 17:46:23

Maryz Thanks grin

Allthough having spent most of the day staining the front garden fence

<seemed a good idea this morning> I'm knackered so enthusiasm is a
bit half hearted at present!

Nearly wine o'clock though.

(or should that be sherry to keep in character??!) hmm

MissMarplesBloomers Sun 02-Jun-13 17:51:31

Sniggering here too !

If you DO find your Dad MM it would be interesting to hear his version of your parents parting wouldn't it given her behaviour?

< nosy cah emoticon again>

Not to be put on here naturally unless you really want to of course wink

fergoose Sun 02-Jun-13 18:11:07

A schooner of Bristol Cream MissMasplesBloomers? smile

MissMarplesBloomers Sun 02-Jun-13 20:19:03

Oh just the ticket Fergoose m'dear. grin

gummybear13 Sun 02-Jun-13 20:42:32

Wow I hope you find your dad!

MissMarple it would be very, very interesting to find out his side of events, but if he is alive and I do manage to find him i don't think I will ask him, I don't want to waste time by talking about what happened between him and my Mother, I have her version, he will have his version, and somewhere in the middle will lie the truth.

On the other hand I am also extremely nosy so if I do find him and he wanted to tell me it would be rude to stop him wouldn't it grin and of course I wouldn't put it on here but I would PM everyone on the thread to make sure they know grin

MissMarplesBloomers Sun 02-Jun-13 21:34:30

Got you...... grin

TerrysNo2 Sun 02-Jun-13 21:50:34

marking my place, I love mysteries like this and I'm pleasantly surprised at the developments of this one!

good luck Missy smile

quoteunquote Sun 02-Jun-13 22:02:31
Jojobump1986 Sun 02-Jun-13 22:13:31

Well, if only people who post on the thread get a PM then I guess I'd better de-lurk & mark my place! It's all so exciting! grin

Thank you for that quote that is a brilliant idea. I will email them just now to see if they can help me.

I have found a record of my brother getting married, but that was me being nosy more than anything because I am fairly certain I have his address, sadly I have also found out that his, and my sisters mother died about a decade ago as well, but I also found out her name as she remarried after she and my Dad divorced (or so it looks like, I will do some double checking) so my sisters could have their Mums maiden name, my dads name or her second husbands name or a completely different name now <helpful>

Thanks again for all the support and help, I can't believe how far I have come in a few short days thanks to the brilliant and wonderful people on MN thanks

Welcome Jojo grin I was telling a lady who PMd me that I always thought lurkers on MN were urban myths until these past few days, it seems I'm definitely wrong grin

FriedSprout Sun 02-Jun-13 22:24:37

Likewise jojo grin

It's been great to see you making such progress, and lovely to see all the help you have been getting.

I, as ever on this site, wish there was something I could do to help. Oh well, maybe one day.

wine here's to even more progress and answers for you

MissMarplesBloomers Sun 02-Jun-13 22:45:22

Fried that's exactly why I shoved my oar in volunteered to help!

So many times MNers have asked for help with a variety of things & there has ALWAYS been someone local to help in some way or another, which is fab, but too far away for me to be any use.

When I saw the county Missy was talking about was Lincolnshire I intially though hmm interesting......then when she mentioned the village next to ours I thought f**k me well I never grin

Some MNer some day may be in need of help in your vicinity I bet!

'pay it forward'

i Love MumsNet

BoreOfWhabylon Mon 03-Jun-13 01:29:21

What a marvellous thread! I have just read it all and am grin from ear to ear!

Upthread someone mentioned that they had found Joe's birth registration. Presumably this has his father's name on it (the Canadian)? So Missy might be able to track down her Canadian relatives too?

yawningbear Mon 03-Jun-13 06:29:32

Another Lurker here, there will be a ton of them on your thread Missy! It is all very heartwarming.

I know these things don't always work out but it sounds like you are totally open minded and prepared for that, and as someone else has said there are so many sibs to be found that surely the odds of you getting along with somebody is high grin

My Mum who is well into her 70's, is adopted and decided to trace her birth mother several years ago. It was something she had thought about doing for a long time. As expected her birth mother was no longer alive but she did find other maternal relatives who she is now really close to and both families regularly meet up, it's lovely. She also learnt loads about her birth mother and has a sense of peace about it all I think. Good Luck smile

Good morning everyone.

I got an email back from a lovely bloke in the Canadian Air Force who is going to have a look at some records for me, but because I don't have many details and am not sure of my 'Grandads' name or even if he was in the Air Force they have more or less said there isn't a lot they can do, but at least they are going to try. It may turn up with something, stranger things have happened.

Bore the record is a birth index not a birth certificate so I have 'Grandmas' last name and the fact my Dad was born in Oct/Nov/Dec 1936 and thats it. It would have made life so much easier if it was a birth certificate.

My plan today is to call around these B's in Lincoln when the kids are at school and see if I can get anywhere, I've also decided I am going to write letters rather than call or email my potential sister and brother again, I'll leave it a few days to see if they reply then send them and if I don't hear back then I will have to leave it sad I don't want to cause them upset or harass them.

Once again I am overwhelmed with the support, stories and help I am being given, and the amount of people delurking to wish me well, its truely amazing and I am so very grateful to each and every one of you thanks

Mehrida Mon 03-Jun-13 07:37:07

Another (de)lurker here as I tend not to post if I don't have anything useful to add but your story has me gripped!

Good idea about the letters, bet you'll be jumping everytime the phone rings once you've sent them. Good luck with your quest.

GoofyIsACow Mon 03-Jun-13 07:50:40

Wow! What a thread, amazing stuff, good luck MM i hope you get the answers you are looking for, its looking increasingly more likely! grin

BoffinMum Mon 03-Jun-13 07:53:06

I'm not sure randomly contacting brothers and sisters is a great idea, tbh. It can be hugely upsetting for people. Best to do it through a third party, I think.

Boffin if I find any of the younger ones I will make contact via another family member of theirs who can judge the situation better than me. The older brothers and sisters know I exsist so it shouldn't be a massive shock, but this is why I am making contact via email and will send them letters just in case the email addresses are out of date, I have numbers I could call on but I want to give them the choice to contact me if they wish. Its only my Dad I'm going to contact by phone if I can.

gummybear13 Mon 03-Jun-13 08:22:42

Your brothers and sisters may not reply straight away as this might be the first time they even know of your existance.

DeepRedBetty Mon 03-Jun-13 08:36:55

Placemark as Bookmark has gone off sick.

JewelFairies Mon 03-Jun-13 08:54:12

Yes, where is the bookmark when you need it?
fx for you OP

Triumphoveradversity Mon 03-Jun-13 09:06:49

I didn't meet my real Father until I was a teen, in fact I didn't even know my stepfather wasn't my real Father as entire family forced to lie to me by my horrible Mother.

I got to know my Dad, not as well as I would have liked to and also discovered five half siblings. My Dad died very recently and I actually felt incredibly angry that my Mother decided I wasn't to have a relationship with him. He was not abusive in any way so no reason to keep him away.

I really hope you find him, I think your very sensible not having too high an expectation on what your meeting could potentially be like.

My Dad had not disappeared so there was no huge hunt for him.

Just wishing you all the best really.

WandaDoff Mon 03-Jun-13 09:10:56

How exciting! I traced some family through the internet a few years ago. I hope you get a good result smile

ohballs2013 Mon 03-Jun-13 09:29:44

oh wow.
mumsnet at its best i think!

CatelynStark Mon 03-Jun-13 09:38:07

Another lurker coming out of the woodwork to say I've got my fingers crossed for you that you get some answers quickly smile

QueenStromba Mon 03-Jun-13 10:26:45

You have enough details to get a copy of your father's birth certificate. You just need to order it online here. It doesn't matter that you don't have the exact date because they'll check the whole year and one either side.

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts Mon 03-Jun-13 11:27:29

another lurker shamelessly marking my place grin

Smudging Mon 03-Jun-13 12:03:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

longjane Mon 03-Jun-13 12:04:08

just read the whole thread and wonder what i could add and then came to last post
you can buy your dads birth cert here
http://www.gro.gov.uk/gro/content/certificates/default.asp
and his marriage cert here

his marriage cert should have his father name on it
his birth cert should have his father and mother name on it
and both will have addresses of where they were living
you will have all details you need for the form from the ancestry entry

longjane Mon 03-Jun-13 12:20:28

there is B being born in 1946 in Lincoln which is more likely as i dont think anyone from overseas was here in 1936 as that is before the ww2 started
but by the 1942 there were a lot of air force people in Lincolnshire

Another delurker.

Good luck on finding your Dad OP, and well done to the lovely MNers helping, a nest of vipers indeed.

longjane Mon 03-Jun-13 12:29:38

i would order the marriage cert 1st then it should also give his age on that then go to right birth cert
then you can go the candian air force with a name hopefully

longjane Mon 03-Jun-13 12:52:55

have inbox you a list of names that seem to have the parents as the B that i found born in 1946
some of the names might ring a bell

good luck and hope you have good news

I think the 1946 B is the right one too. Have PM'd MissyMoo with all the details I have found.

You don't want to waste money sending off for the wrong birth certificate. Maybe order the the marriage certificate and it will tell you his age - that will confirm whether he was 20 or 30 at the time of the wedding.

Sorry to the people who have PM'd me the ones I sent back must have been terrible,I can't seem to find my inbox on here so I had to go on my phone which is a nightmare to message from as I can't see what I wrote. Is MN playing up today?

Not much to update really, I have ruled out 6 of the B's on 192, some of them aren't picking up their phones so I'll try again later on.

I'm going to have a look at the 1946 B again, the names of the 1936 B's children tie in with the little information I have so I did dismiss him a bit but I could be getting carried away over a big coincidence so I'll go back and look more closely just in case.

Great ideas about ordering his birth and marriage certificates, I will do both when I have had a look at the younger B to see if its worth ordering his certificates too.

Once again thank you to everyone for your support and help and stories It means such a great deal to me thanks

But 1936 B's children might not be his children. They might be 1946 B's children.

You won't have had a list of his children. You will just have had a list of the children from the 1966 marriage. Which could be either B (but most likely 1946 B in my opinion).

umbrellahead Mon 03-Jun-13 14:08:48

If ordering certificates, I would agree to start with your mother and father's wedding, hopefully then confirming his year of birth.

This is truly gripping, best of luck to you OP!

umbrellahead Mon 03-Jun-13 14:09:45

Also, if you're talking about the MN website I've just spotted the inbox in the top right hand corner smile

BoreOfWhabylon Mon 03-Jun-13 14:10:16

The Inbox has moved to a tab on the top right of the screen, Missy. The little envelope has gone sad and there is no notification when a message is received. You kave to keep looking sad sad

NamelessMcNally Mon 03-Jun-13 15:41:13

What a heartwarming thread! I really hope it all works out for you.

A number of years ago my DUncle (who emigrated to Oz at age 19) was contacted by a woman who had traced him. Her mother had always told her DU was her father. They talked over a number of months and when he came back home met. He fully accepted her as his DD. I think she had a pretty acrimonious relationship with her M and all of a sudden she had this big extended family who accepted her. DU had been happy to have a DNA test at any point but, being a complete gent, didn't want to force it on her. It all made sense to him and it would have been doubting her word. So for the guts of a year relationships were built, she went to visit. And then she decided she would like to have the DNA test. Her mother had lied to her. DU was a convenient father as he had "run away from his responsibilities". Her M would not give her any other names and had told everyone DU was her father. So, she hit a brick wall and will never find him. Oddly she is still part of our family.

I know it doesn't bear any resemblance to your story but it's just made me sad for her. Then again DU is just about the best honorary dad you could imagine.

FruOla Mon 03-Jun-13 16:27:45

longjane, the Canadian chap is probably the OP's grandfather, not her father - who was UK born.

There is no reason to suppose that there weren't any Canadians in the UK until WW2 - as Canada sent many troops/forces/airforce personnel to Europe in WWI.

longjane Mon 03-Jun-13 17:29:50

please order cert from the government web site

i would order the marriage cert 1st

then take it from there

but even you do order the 1936 and 1946 ones a least the you can give the father name to Canadian air force .

Fruola i am guessing ww2 because there were not really many planes in ww1 and in ww2 we had had lot of airfields down Lincolnshire way.
i do say it is a guess but it is good as place to start from as any .
the canadian air force will know where there planes where though hopefully.

and yes i do try post well just does not always come up right when i get hooked on something .

good luck

FruOla Mon 03-Jun-13 19:16:52

There were many Canadians involved in WW1 en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_history_of_Canada_during_World_War_I (most of this Wiki entry refers to the army).

The OP does say that she's not absolutely sure whether her father's father was actually in the Canadian airforce anyway.

The USAF bases, in East Anglia and elsewhere, were mainly, as you say WW2.

But the Royal Canadian Air Force did send their personnel to the UK in WW1 to participate, given they were a British Dominion. Just have a look on the Royal Canadian Air Force web site (www.rcaf-arc.forces.gc.ca/v2/index-eng.asp), in their 'history' section for WW1 - it makes humbling reading.

doradoo Mon 03-Jun-13 20:06:40

The RCAF bit would tie in though if he is the 1946 B.

FruOla Mon 03-Jun-13 20:11:07

Good point. But she thinks her dad was born in 1936, so 'Canadian grandad' would have been here before WW2.

garlicgrump Mon 03-Jun-13 20:26:18

I'm loving the history aspect of this, and the chronologies smile You lot are brilliant!

Interestingly, I had a bit of a google today and the surname B is a name that crops up amongst Native Canadians on certain reservations - particularly in the Kahnawake Mohawk Territory. So the story about B's father being half Canadian Indian might be true.

The 1946 B's' father was called B according to BMD records.

Jojobump1986 Mon 03-Jun-13 20:50:59

My Granny had an older half-brother who was the product of a fling with an 'American soldier'. There was about 9 years between them & she was born in '33 which places foreign military personnel in the country between the wars! Therefore there could potentially have been a baby born to a Canadian air force man in the UK in 1936!

I knew my family's scandal would come in handy one day! grin

Hi everyone.

Sorry I haven't been on since lunch time, my head was buzzing with numbers and names and dates and I needed a few hours to regroup.

Since my regrouping I have realised I am an idiot who jumps to conclusions.

It is possible that my Dad is 1946 B, I think I assumed it was 1936 B because I heard my Dad was around 10 years older than my Mother and then somehow convinced myself I saw it on a record somewhere, I've checked them all again and it could be either one, what would I do without you lot keeping me in check, I'm so keen and emotionally attached I am running ahead of myself sometimes.

I am going to order my Dads marriage certificate from before he met my Mother and both of the birth certificates on pay day friday so I should hopefully get them in the next couple of weeks, and then I can keep myself right because I will have the information in front of me.

I have ruled out 8 B's on 192 now so its always possible that one of the three I couldn't get hold of may pick up their phones tomorrow and say 'Yes I'm your Dad' although doubtful.

Thank you for linking all the stuff about the Canadian Air Force its really interesting and it is a huge possibility that my 'Grandad' got to lincolnshire through the Air Force. I had never thought about it before I sort of assumed he met my 'Grandma' and fell in love and she came from Lincolnshire but it wouldn't have been so easy to travel back then so that was another stupid assumption of mine.

I still haven't heard back from the paper, the WI, or my potential brother or sister yet so I'm still hoping that something will turn up with them.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to help me find my family and coming up with such brilliant ideas and leads for me to go on, I could never have got this far without you all I am astounded and amazed that so many strangers care enough to go out of their way to help me so much (and astounded that MissMarple is even still speaking to me with all my garbled and excited messages to her).

Every story (and family scandle jojo grin ) link, piece of information, message of support, idea of somewhere to look and person who has taken the time to scout about online and try and come up with something for me has made me so grateful to be part of such a fabulous network of people and I really can't thank all of you enough. thanks

Charlesroi Mon 03-Jun-13 21:23:13

Not sure if this has been posted already but I found the Canadian archives to be quite helpful when I was looking for a WW1 soldier.

longjane Mon 03-Jun-13 21:34:32

clarebella
where do you B's father name from which web site ?
the
RCAF did send men in ww1 but not its self

there are 3 Bs honored in ww2 according to web site fruola said

yes of course there were planes ww1 but this was very early in flying game and i don't think they would have flown from Lincoln to france

really we need the people with local knowledge of the area to say who was station round there in ww1/ ww2
was there a canada base
or
hospital

Good luck OP- my mum tracked down my dads dad and his family with very little info so it can be done. Birth and death records are key!

MissMarplesBloomers Mon 03-Jun-13 21:46:20

just checking in -evening lovely Vipers all!

Missy Takes a lot more than your garbling to put me off my sherry m'dear. wink

I think the thing to remember is there are a lot of crossed wires & false leads in genealogy I understand, so although it's easy to get excited & hopeful sometimes its a long slog to get there.

Lots of bits of the jigsaw which may or may not turn into a bigger picture.

I was where MM is now a few years ago but as someone who was found.

My sister & I had started a rough family tree on Genes Reunited and subsequently were contacted by a chap who was researching his cousins family tree.

He was understandably cautious and very mindful that it might not be welcome news but he thought his cousin was related to my mum.

Turns out they were half sisters! So at the age of 62, thinking she was alone in the world Mum had a ready made sister, they met, got on like a house on fire,and keep in regular contact.

Another reason for my interest!

MarthasHarbour Mon 03-Jun-13 22:02:44

OP i couldnt let this thread go without sending you good luck vibes. it is good to take a step back and give yourself a few days, as you say before jumping to conclusions.

I did something similar a few years ago, i read in a local history book about our village that a man - lets call him John Smith - was hanged for murder, me and my family were shocked that our family could have such a history, as we were determined that John Smith was my mums grandad. I got in touch with a local historian who informed me that the man who was hanged was actually - John Smyth, the history books got the name slightly wrong. So we were all looking in the wrong direction.

However i am wishing you tons and tons of good luck. I think you will find him, certainly with MissMarple ^^ up there!!

Oh and i absolutely agree with MaryZ and wonder if this thread should be moved to Off The Beaten Track? That means it is not googleable, it doesnt take away the main concerns that Mary has raised but does keep names off the internet.

smile

morethanpotatoprints Mon 03-Jun-13 22:16:39

Hello OP

not sure if anybody has said this yet but if you are buying certificates it can be cheaper if you have the page and vol number of the record. Also set up an account with GRO and it is cheaper than buying from ancestry and other sites that do it for you. More leg work, but a good deal cheaper.
So sorry for your losses, and hope you find your family.
I am adopted and found my original family through ancestry, completely by chance after many years of searching.
You have a fair bit of information, something will turn up.
Good luck flowers

longjane I got 1946 B's mother's maiden name (M) from his birth record on FreeBMD and then looked on the same website for a marriage between a B and a M in the same civil reg district and found it in 1940. It looks to be the right couple as they got married in 1940 and proceeded to have 7 children in the birth records from 1942-1956. B is the third child born.

MissMarplesBloomers Mon 03-Jun-13 22:39:09

Was thinking the same myself Martha earlier then forgot to mention it to MM.

Good idea.

StillInBigKnickers Mon 03-Jun-13 22:53:35

Well, I appear to have been most unproductive this evening - work to do, read this instead! grin

Just placemarking wishing you luck, OP.

Also, really interesting what you said about not being too hung up about 'his version' of things. It may not be of any great significance to you, but just the actual raising of the subject (and his response to it) could give you a good measure of the man as/when/if you find him. He sounds a bit of a ... rascal ... whereas you come across as quite lovely, so I hope things work out well for you smile

PrincessFiorimonde Mon 03-Jun-13 23:14:30

I've only just seen this thread. How exciting! Best of luck, Missy.

Awakeagain Tue 04-Jun-13 06:22:40

Just finished reading the thread, got everything crossed that one of the bits of information leeds you to the right person
grin

TidyDancer Tue 04-Jun-13 06:32:25

Ooh you've made progress since I last posted!

Continued good luck. smile

MN is awesome!

longjane Tue 04-Jun-13 06:44:50

arhh clarabellabunting i had been doing that search but got no where on ancestry or free BMD

so as they got married in 1940 and if he was canadian then according to the web about RCAF then he more that likely was in the RAF as at that time they were training men in canada and sending them over here .
off to do some more searching

chimchar Tue 04-Jun-13 07:03:36

fantastic thread....

I really hope you get to find your dad Missy.

smile

longjane Tue 04-Jun-13 07:17:52

http://www.vcn.bc.ca/~jeffrey1/tribute.htm

there is is B on this site

i think the local paper might be interested in your grandfather story as it might be a bit different
and have you asked the paper if there are any stories about your father now you know his real name

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Tue 04-Jun-13 07:20:10

Best of luck Missy.

MustafaCake Tue 04-Jun-13 07:27:40

Goof luck Missy!

Hope you find your family members soon

msrisotto Tue 04-Jun-13 07:33:02

Hi, I've just seen this thread and don't have any suggestions, I'm useless genealogy but have my fingers crossed for you!

longjane Tue 04-Jun-13 07:37:15

well there are 2 people on genes reunited that have B 1945 in there tree one of whom name has already been mention up the thread

so 2 people are looking for family

longjane Tue 04-Jun-13 07:44:37

and a different person has a B 1920 canada?
(1920 would be my guess as his age)
on genes reunited

hope these come to some thing

have to get on with my day now

i have not contacted these people on genes reunited

womma Wed 05-Jun-13 11:26:21

Another lurker here, who has been rooting for you!

Just coming on to say the very best of luck finding everyone, this has warmed the cockles of my heart!

Fingers, eyes, legs, everything crossed for you Missy!!!

Hi everyone, I'm sorry I didn't get on yesterday, real life got in the way of my search for my family, I have decided to lock dh in a cupboard for the duration of my search now so thats one less thing to worry about grin

Right nothing much to update, I think there is a possibility that J may be my Auntie rather than a sister, longjane sent me a list of names of the siblings of 1946 B and there was a J listed there (there are 7 of them altogether so its not unreasonableto think they may have all lost touch too). If he is the 1946 B then that would also tie in with the whole air force thing.

I have emailed the lovely bloke at the Canadian air force with the link that longjane put up there with a B from the Mohawk First Nation(?), J is also a family middle name so that could be something, and the J in my Dads name might be J, if I manage to get the dates from them and it ties in then that could be my Grandad which means I have the tribe (is it a tribe?) name and that would give me a huge idea of my history.

Still no word back from any of the emails I have sent to my possible brother, to Jackie, the WI or the paper. Is there some sort of massive power cut in Lincolnshire grin

I have asked MNHQ to move this to off the beaten track but that only works for threads that were started there, so I will just leave it here as it will disappear, unless I do contact some family and they want me to remove it in which case I'll start another thread and get this deleted.

Thank you all again for all your messages, PMs, help and support, I am so close to getting some solid information about my family now and I couldn't have got this far without you all, I have a free afternoon so I am going to sack the housework (any excuse) and catch up from yesterday.

thanks to every one of you lovely vipers.

MarthasHarbour Wed 05-Jun-13 13:08:20

oo thanks for the update - i kept checking yesterday smile

Another update.

I'll have to be a bit vague here but I put it into a site that I had previously only put 1936 into and its confirmed that my Dad is 1946 Roland, repeat, my Dad is 1946 Roland. grin

I have no doubt at all now which makes life a shedload easier.

Yay, that means he is 10 years younger than I thought, which means there is a bigger possibility of him being alive and it means I can save myself some money by ordering the right certificates and it also means that the guy on the site longjane posted is quite probably 'Grandad'.

Woohoo, yet another step forward grin grin grin

GoofyIsACow Wed 05-Jun-13 13:58:33

Wow Missy, that's great news!

Now to find him! Good luck smile

garlicgrump Wed 05-Jun-13 13:59:03

grin You are doing well! Wishing you continued good luck.

msrisotto Wed 05-Jun-13 14:25:57

Aw fantastic! I'm so pleased for you! smile

nobeer Wed 05-Jun-13 14:35:01

smile great news. good luck with future family hunting.

FruOla Wed 05-Jun-13 15:05:21

Gosh, that's interesting Missy. Given that your dad may be 10 years younger than you thought he was, some of the women you thought were your sisters could possibly be your aunts?

Still wishing you luck!

Anjou Wed 05-Jun-13 15:29:03

So pleased that you're making real progress, Missy!

WingDefence Wed 05-Jun-13 15:47:51

Wow I've only just seen this thread - amazing progress Missy!

QueenStromba Wed 05-Jun-13 16:14:41

I suppose it makes sense that everything you're mum told you was a lie if she is that keen to stop you finding him.

LulaPalooza Wed 05-Jun-13 16:19:19

Best.Thread.Ever!

I have read this with increasing excitement and actually let out a "squeee!" sort of noise at your last post, MissyMoo

Luckily I am on my own in our open plan office as everyone else has gone for the day.

ShipwreckedAndComatose Wed 05-Jun-13 16:35:02

Fantastic news!!

Just another boring update really.......

Y'know just the usual, made a cuppa, had my lunch, picked the kids up, found my sister on Genes Reunited......... grin grin grin

Still cautiously excited as she could have been on it years ago and it could be under an old email address but again its one step closer.

Fru I do now think Jackie is my Auntie (if anything) rather than my sister, I haven't got a clue of the names of most of them and it could get confusing if my Aunties and Uncles are all looking for each other as well as me and siblings but it should be easy enough to work out (maybe).

Queen I did start off being very, very angry about the lies, but I have so much information now and I am getting so far that it doesn't really bother me any more. Being angry about the past won't change it so I just need to move forward (with maybe the occassional glare backwards, I'm not perfect grin ).

Thank you for all the good wishes and funny noises (thank goodness you were on your own) and help and suppport. I am so so so so close now, and certainly a damn sight closer than I was a few days ago and I really would never have got this far without you all. I can't thank you enough flowers

Rosa Wed 05-Jun-13 17:20:29

Wonderful stuff. Hooe you keep finding your family!

MissMarplesBloomers Wed 05-Jun-13 17:26:52

SO glad to hear your updates -you clearly have been getting much further with the paper trail than I have with talking to folks in RL !!

Looking forw ard to the next installment!!

Squeeeeeee indeed!! grin

cakesonatrain Wed 05-Jun-13 17:47:07

Wow, brilliant progress!

Aw this thread is getting me all choked up. You're doing brilliantly-I so hope you find your dad!

KittenofDoom Wed 05-Jun-13 17:59:21

I think you're very wise to try contact by letter first rather than phone. There are so many nuisance calls and scams these days that people are often very wary about phone calls. Also a letter gives people a chance to consider things rather than being caught on the hop. Thinking time increases the chances of people remembering stuff. Finally, it may not be a good time in someone's life because of illness, bereavement or other of life's traumas, so a letter is better as it doesn't require immediate response.

I would add that being on GenesReunited doesn't necessarily mean that all subscribers are looking for lost family as such. It's a very useful tool for tracing your ancestors and a lot of people are there to build family trees.

sadlovedgirl Wed 05-Jun-13 18:32:32

Just read the whole of this thread and am now de-lurking to wish you all the best for the rest of your search OP

MinnieBar Wed 05-Jun-13 18:41:09

Wow! Excellent progress Team MNFindMissy'sFamily!

possibly the name might need some work

BellaVita Wed 05-Jun-13 18:58:12

How fabulous all of this is grin

lateSeptember1964 Wed 05-Jun-13 19:08:01

I would say Jacqui would be born mid sixties. Does that sit anywhere near the birth year that you have. I think your right its totally conceivable that they are all looking for one another?

MissMarplesBloomers Wed 05-Jun-13 19:23:32

grin Minnie !

Thank you again everyone grin

Its quite frustrating having phone numbers and not calling, but I don't want to force myself in anyones life if they don't want it for all the reasons Kitten stated. Although I am adorable so I can't see why they wouldn't haha.

Late the Jackie that I think is my Dads sister was born in '51, any chance she looks really good for her age? grin can I PM you a link to the FB page of the person I think it is to see if you recognise her please? <takes internet stalking to a whole new level >

Team MNFindMissy'sFamily has a certain ring to it doesn't it grin

Thank you all again, this is amazing flowers

lateSeptember1964 Wed 05-Jun-13 19:58:45

Yes please do. I tried looking on Facebook earlier but drew a blank. No this one is definitely only mid 40s. Given that names keep recurring within the family I think she is still a possibility. Never been pm'ed before. Is it easy to open

lateSeptember1964 Wed 05-Jun-13 20:01:58

Just found the inbox. Well never knew that was there!

What a lovely thread full of kind, generous people.

My family have a few names that we've used again and again - this thread has made me happy that I've carried on with my DC. <goes off to purchase sheep>

Right I've PM'd you late but given what you have said I don't think its her.

The inbox moved a couple of days ago (and confused me big time, I thought it had disappeared altogether).

Tea my children aren't names after anyone, I think I may change their names now just in case I fall out dh grin naming sheep after your offspring is certainly novel, I really don't know whether to be delighted or offended. grin

The FB lady isn't the lady late saw anyone is keeping track, but I have a description so I will go and have another look. Twas a bit of a long shot.

Personally I'd be delighted. All that woolly love and jumper potential. I'd be hoping for the black sheep to be called after me wink

lateSeptember1964 Wed 05-Jun-13 20:59:44

Have trawled through Facebook and can't see her. Im going to do a bit more digging tomorrow. Will try my cousin who also used her and see if she can help

MarthasHarbour Wed 05-Jun-13 22:05:25

its a shame Jackie/Jacqui didnt just email back and say 'its not me' but never mind.

<squeals at the latest developments!!>

This thread is amazing, i saw the thread about the Beckhams earlier and the DM bastards picked up on the very few catty comments and made an 'article' out of it. Named and shamed some posters too which was awful as their comments were taken out of context. Shame they dont stumble upon the nest of vipers swans we have on here smile and print a story about the goodwill MN does

<gets off soapbox!>

I know its a school night but here you go OP wine and flowers and here is to hopefully meeting your long lost family

smile

MacMac123 Wed 05-Jun-13 22:07:48

Just checking in! Exciting!!!

I don't think I could shear a sheep named after me, I think I would be the black sheep too though grin

I just PM'd you late, Jackie (who is utterly lovely) just got in touch and it was a weird coincidence. She has found the people she is looking for and they aren't members of my family.

Worth a try though, who knew it was so common to be searching for scattered family in lincoln. And thank you so much for telling me.

Still I'm getting closer, each time I rule someone out I'm getting somewhere.

Crossposts with Mac and Martha

I would email the DM with a link to this thread but I dread to think how they would twist it. They would probably do background checks on me and find out I got caught shoplifting a turkish delight when I was 12 and tell the world that MN are trying to put a criminal gang together haha.

Great to get an update and hear you are making progress!

Just a note - that site longjane linked to had a B on it not a B.

I kept coming across him when I was searching canadian records for you the other day and kept misreading B for B and getting excited, then realising.

Also, from the searching I did, there are quite a few native Canadian B's around in the records so I wouldn't jump to the confusion anyone is your granddad just yet.

Anyway, don't we already know the name of your grandad? It's B according to the BMD records - the father of 1946 B.

Oh no, am I jumping ahead of myself again? <puts feet firmly back on ground>

I couldn't find any record of 1946 Rolands Dad. I'm going to recheck again. James would fit in with family names so that sounds about right.

I'm trying to get everything written down atm because I keep confusing myself so I'm keeping lists of what I found and where, I'll finish doing that before I go off on one again grin thank you clara

I'll resend you the list of Ronald's siblings and parents from the BMD records by PM.

Don't worry - it's easy to get excited and jump to conclusions! Especially when you are so close after all these years.

Just incase B is anything to do with you, here is some info about him:
www.locategrave.org/l/6684415/B-Quebec

Looks like he was in the Navy and the conflict he served in was Vietnam.

Maybe he could be a younger brother of your Grandfather? Or cousin. There could still be a link. Kahnawake is the place that kept coming up when I was searching for the surname B amongst native Canadians.

Good morning all.

Thank you Clara I kept getting that place when I was looking into where the B's came from as well. I'm going to do some more research on that when I have finally tracked someone form my family down.

I just had to tell you all about a bizarre coincidence that has come up. I have tracked down 'Grannys' record and her middle name is my daughters first name and her first name is the same daughters middle name, and the day and month they were born is remakably similar.

Looks like I am keeping the old family tradition going without even realising it grin

MissStrawberry Thu 06-Jun-13 11:32:12

Just had to post having read your update. DH and I named our son and his middle name is the same as someone I knows surname. Much much later we looked at his family tree and both names were well used going back 100's of years ago and we had no idea smile

How weird Miss there must be some genetic link to liking certain names grin

hevak Thu 06-Jun-13 11:55:34

I love this thread! I've been lurking and wishing you well and just saw your update about figuring out which year your Dad was born in - that will really help you! Best of luck for the search!

am very jealous of the possible Native Canadian ancestry grin

MissStrawberry Thu 06-Jun-13 12:01:44

It is true Is middle name but I wanted to name my child after this person and DH didn't like their first name. Coincidently his surname is also a first name grin.

MissStrawberry Thu 06-Jun-13 12:06:31

That should have been

It is true I like DS's middle name...

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

So excited for you Missy. I think you may need a spreadsheet to keep track of things ... wink

Wow it must be a really common name out there Clara it looks funny to see my maiden name as a street name. I was doing a bit of research about them and apparently they are really quite high tech out there, most of the work there is all to do with the internet, and they have quite a few online gambling sites. I don't know what I expected really but I didn't expect that. I'll have to and see if it is where I descended from and then see if I can score a holiday there somehow, it looks really nice out there. grin

I have my family spreadsheet to go alongside my MN one so I'm all organised now. I have been looking on genesreunited all afternoon and found a couple of people with 'Granny and Grandad' listed (or people with the same names at least) some of who have people with as some of my sisters names, but different last names.

It also looks like 'Granny' was born in 1911 and died in 2002 from what I can tell.

I have sent a few messages out this afternoon so now its a waiting game to see who messages back, although I'm still cautiously excited as people have probably changed email addresses since they signed up to there.

I've emailed a couple of people who deal with military archives in Canada as well to ask them about 'Grandad' and see where the best place to go for help is so I will hopefully hear something soon.

I really can't believe how far I have got so far in a week, I started off with a few vague details and have ended up with more than I could ever have hoped for. Thank you all for taking the time to message and post and take the time to trawl through records to help me find my family and just generally be lovely and supportive and thank you to MissMarple who has been asking around locally and being annoyed by my texting I'm sure I know I keep saying it but I really can't thank you all enough. flowers

Just had to post to say how impressive and heartwarming this thread is. I haven't got anything useful to add but wanted to wish you all the luck in the world and hope that you get an an outcome that gives you some answers about where you come from and maybe even a new relative or two, three or maybe even more to get to know!
I love this side of mumsnet and I'm just thrilled that you have been able to get so much help. I wish I could offer some information but I have no links with the area and well I'm really really rubbish at this kind of thing!
wine and flowers

MissMarplesBloomers Fri 07-Jun-13 22:45:27

Well interestingly enough the online detectives are getting further than the local one is!

The jungle drums are not beating as fast as I had hoped, or maybe folks are being cagey?? Will get a better chance tomorrow -car boot sale locally, good chance to natter to all sorts of folks.

Sorry I have been quiet the last few days, blardy real life y'know does get in the way. <sheesh> grin

ShipwreckedAndComatose Sat 08-Jun-13 07:20:28

I'm so impressed with how much MN has managed to find out grin

Sorry I haven't been on for a few days. I have been waiting for lots of people to get back to me and I am very over the moon super happily wonderfully excitedly pleased to announce that as of about 5 minutes ago MN FOUND MY DADDY and a million Aunties Uncles Cousins and siblings.

I can't believe it and I really cannot thank you lovely wonderful people enough. I am literally awaiting a phone call hopefully in the next couple of hours. He goes by Joey just now apparently.

I am sobbing and overwhelmed that the combined efforts of so many lovely MNers has given me my family back.

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))) and kisses and thanks and wine to all of you and I don't give a hoot if they are unmumsnetty or not xxxxxxx

MrsMcGregor Mon 10-Jun-13 16:09:23

Wow! <champagne emoticon>. I've followed your thread over the last 10 days and have been so touched by all the help you have had and the progress you have made! Look forward to an update when things settle but well done! What a life changing moment!

TheDoctrineOfAllan Mon 10-Jun-13 16:12:03

Oh wow!!!

QOD Mon 10-Jun-13 16:15:05

Omg!! Wow excellent

<sniff>

sadlovedgirl Mon 10-Jun-13 16:16:35

WOW!
What fantastic news!
The power of Mumsnet strikes again.
smile
I appear to have something in my eye

hevak Mon 10-Jun-13 16:19:30

Congratulations! I've been following the thread and I'm so pleased you found him!

Just WOW. Dead pleased for you and looking forward to news of sheep too wink

Pokeroot Mon 10-Jun-13 16:22:04

Wow!

I'm really pleased for you!

MissMarplesBloomers Mon 10-Jun-13 16:22:11

Brilliant! Sooooooooooooo pleased for you!

<snuffles into lavender scented hanky>

I've lucked but wanted to say I'm really happy for you, what a lovely thread grin wine

LoopyLooplaHoop Mon 10-Jun-13 16:26:25

I've just nominated this thread for classics, but thought you might want it in chat to disappear? Sorry and AMAZING news, well done!

MinnieBar Mon 10-Jun-13 16:30:35

Yay! <shakes pom-poms>

moonblues Mon 10-Jun-13 16:30:37

Congratulations missymoo! I'm so pleased for you! smile

Oh God there literally are millions of them, my Dad is one of 10, they all have at least 2 or 3 kids each, and some of them have an undisclosed amount of children too.

I did not think this through, can I start a charity to help me with christmas presents haha.

I can't believe it, I really can't, years and years of trying everything, then what? 10 days after a plea for ideas on MN and I have a family again, and the best bit is they are only about 70 or 80 miles away from where I am now.

I really can't thank you all enough, I really can't.

I think I may be a bit in shock actually so I shall return after a brandy cup of sweet tea to continue annoying you all with flowers and (((HUGS))) and thank yous.

Oh my god! That's just amazing OP! I'm so glad for you x

KittenofDoom Mon 10-Jun-13 16:57:07

I hope they're all you wish they will be smile

Goldrill Mon 10-Jun-13 17:10:02

Awesome! Congratulations OP!

This is the nicest thing I have read in a long time.

hesterton Mon 10-Jun-13 17:11:05

How exciting is this thread! Well done!?

Ajaney Mon 10-Jun-13 17:11:18

Congratulations! What a fab thread and a wonderful nest of vipers!

MardyBra Mon 10-Jun-13 17:15:45

Wow! So pleased for you MissyMoo. smile

PeterParkerSays Mon 10-Jun-13 17:18:51

Yeah! Have been lurking on this because we used to live in Lincoln, so it was nice to remember Bassingham, but wow, I'm so thrilled for you that you've found your dad.

FruOla Mon 10-Jun-13 17:23:43

That is brilliant, MissyMoo.
I hope it all works out well for you.
Good luck with meeting up with all your family flowers

TSSDNCOP Mon 10-Jun-13 17:29:53

How wonderful xx

ShipwreckedAndComatose Mon 10-Jun-13 17:31:40

Bloody brilliant! grin

Deffodil Mon 10-Jun-13 17:42:13

Missymoo,I'm so pleased for you. I went through a very similar experience 4 years ago. You'll feel emotionally drained,but ultimately at peace. xx

TheRealFellatio Mon 10-Jun-13 17:42:18

What fantastic new Missy I am so please for you! Just remember to be realistic about the outcomes and don't get hurt. You sound very sensible and pragmatic and I'm sure it will all be fine, but I just thought someone should be the voice of caution/reason. grin

I am sure your Dad will be as delighted to be reunited with you as you will be to finally see him.

mynameisnotmichaelcaine Mon 10-Jun-13 17:52:26

Congratulations! That's really wonderful news.

CoffeePleaseSir Mon 10-Jun-13 18:11:46

Wow I have just read the whole thread fantastic news you have found your Dad, MN really is amazing.

BellaVita Mon 10-Jun-13 18:17:04

Fantastic news!

Manchesterhistorygirl Mon 10-Jun-13 18:18:10

How wonderful! Such fabulous news!

ChasedByBees Mon 10-Jun-13 18:19:12

Wonderful! thanks

LSAR Mon 10-Jun-13 18:19:34

Hi, this must be very difficult for you. I managed to track down a long lost brother which was a very interesting experience. But anyway if your not afraid of your life being on tv I would contact the show lost family's I think it's called that. its on itv. They do quite a in depth search which may prove more positive for you. All the best in your search don't give up.

Geeklover Mon 10-Jun-13 18:19:41

I've lurked on and off on this thread and just caught up on it in a (now cold) bath.
What an amazing thread it makes me think of exdh and his desire to find his dads family. It's inspired me now I think I'll try for him.