supermarket shits and misses...yours please...

(242 Posts)
Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 18:36:14

Misses: SAINSBOS own cocktail sausages....erm....bread pushed together with some meat extract (rubbish)

Hits value range tinned swertcorn, chocolate bourbon biscuits and mustard screams.

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 18:37:13

My phone is such a twonk.
Custard /creams [brush]

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 18:37:33


MechanicalTheatre Mon 04-Feb-13 18:40:08

lol at: shits and misses
mustard screams

Hits: Sainsbury value teabags (23p I think and lovely), Waitrose Essentials peanut butter
Misses: black bread I got from Ocado. RANK and nothing like actual black bread.

LynetteScavo Mon 04-Feb-13 18:40:40

Sainsbury's basics tea bags.
Sainsbury's won cat food - my cats happily eat it.
Sainsbury's basics sea shell chocolates. (exactly like guyerlan)

Aldi wine is always OK, even the cheap stuff. (Coop wine is usually awful)
Aldi porridge is a miss for me, but DH likes it.
Aldi brioche is good.

Spyrofan Mon 04-Feb-13 18:40:43

Tesco Value cornflakes is fab and Jaffa cakes.

LynetteScavo Mon 04-Feb-13 18:41:17

hahaha @ shits and misses. grin

LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 18:42:50


Your posts are perfect. It's like a Fall concert.

I keep re-reading it and laughing out loud each time.

Glossynotflossy Mon 04-Feb-13 18:43:25

Aldi pork ribs =hit

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 18:45:16

Phone laughs at me because when I tap the words they are correct on the screen. How foes it "correct" it to the shirt that goesvonto my finished post?????

Valour tea bags...really? I like builders tea myself.

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 18:46:22

Oh yes to AlDi brioche ! Agree!

LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 18:51:59

I would like a cup of valour tea please.

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 18:54:07


Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 18:54:22


Waltons Mon 04-Feb-13 18:54:34

I quite fancy velour teabags. Bet the Queen has those.

LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 18:54:35


& a couple of mustard screams to dunk in it.

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 18:55:42

AlDi salami very good.Hit!
Asda mozzarella value- pants & wee!

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 18:56:08


HollyBollyBooBoo Mon 04-Feb-13 18:56:39

Miss - Tesco digestives - absolutely vile.

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 18:57:23

Yes eating sweet sand.

EMS23 Mon 04-Feb-13 18:57:43

Ha ha ha!!! I'm having a miserable few days and your typos/ autocorrects are the first thing to have really made me laugh in what feels like forever!

NoraSpect Mon 04-Feb-13 18:58:54

Aldi grapevine wine (red and white) is lovely.

fledtoscotland Mon 04-Feb-13 18:59:16

Morrisons value biscuits are fab and get a thumbs up from DC. Value tea bags are grim

Aldi brioche is amazing but their toilet roll is too thin

Lidl choc croissant rolls things are dry and tasteless. Cheap bran flakes are like dust. Milk is good at £1 for 4pts compared to £1.50 in Morrisons

Roseformeplease Mon 04-Feb-13 19:00:30 friend's DDs (twins) once both did poos in tents set up in a supermarket as part of a display.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Mon 04-Feb-13 19:01:01

I really, really want to see Megglevache do battle with her phone on one of the drunk threads.

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 19:02:09

Jesus...that would be messy...
Mind you I'm usually trunk .

LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 19:02:38

Me too EMS23. I particularly love the way Megglevache is bravely carrying on with the thread topic.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Mon 04-Feb-13 19:04:19


Oh, sorry - I mean [Grim]

LifeofPo Mon 04-Feb-13 19:06:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 19:06:25

rosere.forms...twin story!!

BaldricksTurnip Mon 04-Feb-13 19:08:56

Oh god these autocorrects are making me howl grin

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 19:09:54


LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 19:13:36

Sainsburys value pittas - but on low carb so I don't eat them.

Can we get back to howlers now?

LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 19:13:47


CrazyOldCatLady Mon 04-Feb-13 19:15:09

Oh, I'm crying here! Please keep posting, Megglevache!

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 19:15:23

value holders?

TheDarkSideOfTheSpoon Mon 04-Feb-13 19:17:10

I've just woken the baby I've been trying to get to sleep for 20 minutes snorting at your autocorrects OP grin

Hits - Aldi dry cider (Taurus I think its called) is lovely
Misses - any fresh fruit or veg from our local Sainsbos, seems to go off before we even get it home. <slight exaggeration>

BinarySolo Mon 04-Feb-13 19:18:43

Brilliant posts meggle.

Asda value digestives - hit
Asda soya yoghurts = [grim]

LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 19:19:26

I once sent a text to my niece, joking that I was a useless aunt for forgetting something. If I hadn't caught the auto-correct it might have been a tad embarrassing.

Value holders?

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 19:20:43


LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 19:21:40

Oh no, these howlers are class.

BinarySolo Mon 04-Feb-13 19:22:49

Hehe. My dad sent a text to my mum once to say he was having a bad day on his round (they run a sandwich delivery business) my mum's phone cut the message short and displayed it as 'I'm having a poo' rather than 'I'm having a poor day'.

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 19:22:56

I will get back on the lap top in a minute when ds gets off it ....then all will be clearer. bloody haunted putty phone . [grim]

50ShadesOfGreggs Mon 04-Feb-13 19:24:46

OP you are hilarious, I am howling!

Hits: Aldi roasted cashew nuts. Addictive.
Miss: Aldi fresh pasta. Rubbery as hell.


lucysmam Mon 04-Feb-13 19:25:19

the random typos on this thread have made me quite literally lol grin very very funny after a dodgy afternoon

i only came to add ....

hit - basics tea bags

miss - value gravy, from anywhere. kinda leaves a funny film on top of your mouth

LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 19:25:31

Noooo. Stay on the putty phone.


Corygal Mon 04-Feb-13 19:25:49

Shits - Lidl Mortadella
Shits - Tesco ciabattas, 4 for a pound

I have a poo if I try Tesco strawberry jam...

IslaValargeone Mon 04-Feb-13 19:25:56

Please stay on the phone Megglevache, I need the laugh!

50ShadesOfGreggs Mon 04-Feb-13 19:26:03

OP noooooooo! Don't go on the laptop please?

SoleSource Mon 04-Feb-13 19:27:49

Hits that sexy hunk on chckout 5
Misses most Aldi food is tasteless shit

Mettle are you Chaos in disguise? grin

LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 19:29:50

The spelling on this thread is getting worms and worms.

AnuvvaMuvva Mon 04-Feb-13 19:30:05


Sainsbury's value chocolate - 23p for a BIG bar of milk, plain or white! Absolutely perfect for cooking, baking, or ramming into your mouth during PMT week.

99p shop latex gloves for doing fake tan. 99p for 20 gloves. Cheaper than anywhere in the world.

St Moritz fake tan from Amazon. £3 for stuff that makes you go exactly the same colour as St Tropez.

Misses: Any of the Astonish cleaning stuff from the 99p shop.

Mandy2003 Mon 04-Feb-13 19:30:05

is it possible to turn off autocorrect hmm

Please answer if you know, its just one of the things that puts me off getting a smartphone!

Class though Meggle grin

MrsPennyapple Mon 04-Feb-13 19:30:33

I was going to ask what value holders are and whether I need them, but "putty phone" had pushed me over the edge! Please don't change to the laptop OP!

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 19:30:36

ooooh I want yo hear all about the laxative January .

LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 19:32:17

I got it! Jam! I can crack this code.


Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 19:32:23

laxative j.a.m.
jeez I'm going to have to lie down.

who's got a Samsung ?

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 19:33:38

lavender you are hilare .

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 19:34:21

it knows the word hilare ....
phone is haunted foot sure.

MrsPennyapple Mon 04-Feb-13 19:34:33

I have a Samsung Galaxy Mini.

JollyRedGiant Mon 04-Feb-13 19:35:38

Decaf coffee always makes me shit.

ClaimedByMe Mon 04-Feb-13 19:39:09

I have a samsung galaxy y, I would never be brave enough to use it for mumsnetting, infact me and it really dont get on and I just dont use it except for emergencies!

Your typos have made me day too smile

Wolfcub Mon 04-Feb-13 19:39:34

hits: sainsbury's basics jaffa cakes
sainsbury's normal weetabix (which I am reliably informed are actual weetabix)
basics chopped tomatoes
basics pasts
Aldi or Lidl cured meat - particularly parma or serrano ham
marks and spencer cooking chorizo
sainsbury's version of dettol wipes
aldi clingfilm and tinfoil

misses: totally agree with the taste the difference sausages, I don't know what they did to them but overnight they became absolutely inedible
Sainbury's diet dairy frozen desert - a fake ice cream that tastes exactly like frozen stork margarine
almost anything made by Tesco

MunchkinsMumof2 Mon 04-Feb-13 19:41:33

this thread is such light relief after the accident bunfight thread grin

LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 19:41:40

Poor the haunted foot phone.

KeepingCalmAndPostingNicely Mon 04-Feb-13 19:42:10

Sainsbury's Basic peanut butter was, I thought, very good and very cheap. And Lidl's version of Oreo cookies - can't tell the difference. I've yet to be convinced by cheap teabags though.

Tesco's own coffee is nice (not as nice as the fancy wholebeans but drinkable)

Co-ops own is not. It tastes like muf

LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 19:43:17


Wolfcub Mon 04-Feb-13 19:43:42

please tell me the samsung mini s3 is a lovely phone and not a demonic one

o dear <weeps>

LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 19:44:47


It appears to be catching.

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 19:44:49

puff tasting coffee and what the he'll is a floor phone?

LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 19:46:08

Hang on, this one's going to take a bit of work.

Toast123 Mon 04-Feb-13 19:46:33

So funny!

Mandy2003 Mon 04-Feb-13 19:46:36

What sort of muff Horatio?!

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 19:46:58

I have no idea what tinge of Samsung it is but I'm guessing it won't mis spell samsung ..haha bet I press post message and it'll say


stubbornstains Mon 04-Feb-13 19:47:54

Loving your work Meggle's Samsung grin

Hit: Sainsbo's value bog roll

Shit: ASDA ditto.

Also good: Sainsbos basic camembert, Lidl olive oil
Not good: Sainsbos value fairtrade ground coffee- nice try, but it is truly horrid, Sainsbos value pasta (although the ASDA pasta is fine).

LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 19:48:36

<screws up paper and throws pencil away>

I give up.

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 19:49:01

I'm going .to make a list of all of these
and take special note of the Shiite misses. [haha]

I cant even blame my phone sad

stubbornstains Mon 04-Feb-13 19:49:33


It's making a cryptic comment about Sainsbury's taste the difference sausages- in French grin

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 19:50:13

I'm going .to make a list of all of these
and take special note of the Shiite misses. [haha]

stubbornstains Mon 04-Feb-13 19:51:49

I think your phone has a profitable career devising crosswords ahead of it OP.

LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 19:52:05

"aus icon"? Kangaroo?

[s]hits: Morrisons value biscuits, longlife pure juice, chocolate spread, kitchen roll.

Also, any shop's value tortilla chips. Allergy proof. Maize, sunflower oil, salt. V useful for parties.

misses: rice snaps - they were not like rice crispies, but more like flavourless sugar puffs. Am going to use them in rocky road or something eventually but they are inedible as cereal.

cocolepew Mon 04-Feb-13 19:56:07

I have a samsung note and I've switched auto correct off . After this thread I'm glad I have grin.
It does give suggestions in a bar across the top. If I type in diahorrea the only way to spell it suggested is 'sushi' hmm

ElephantsAndMiasmas Mon 04-Feb-13 19:57:47

I'm feeling like crap today and I didn't think anything would make me laugh but the muff-tasting coffee did it. Thank you.

Salmotrutta Mon 04-Feb-13 19:59:20

Oh I may have weed myself a little.

It was the "mustard screams" that did it. <howls>


SoleSource Mon 04-Feb-13 19:59:48

Muf Cpt.lmao

MmeLindor Mon 04-Feb-13 20:01:22

Someone take Meggle's laptop away please.

I was already crying at the mustard screams.

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 20:01:55

oh yes deffo agree re the torillus crisis. cheap ones delicious.

lucysmam Mon 04-Feb-13 20:03:09

am sooooo glad I turned off autocorrect the first time i sent a text! this is hilarious grin

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 20:03:57

t o r t I l l a c r I s p s are delicious.

LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 20:05:07

Torillus crisis ruled Rome in 47BC.

ClaimedByMe Mon 04-Feb-13 20:05:37

I have fired up my Samsung and put on my predictive text I think I'm doing ok, nos still hate it though

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 20:06:21

back in the day.
spellcheck used to correct my name send I used to send out letters signed
s u s h I S e a r s. lol p o r n o name or what.

back to g r o c e r I e s !!

OrangePetals Mon 04-Feb-13 20:07:19

Meggle - I thought you [brush] was you getting rid of the mustard scream crumbs.

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 20:07:50

you are making me do laugh & f r I g h t w e e s both at the same time.

DameFanny Mon 04-Feb-13 20:08:51

I'm on a Samsung note, but crying laughing too much to add anything more [grim] [laughwee]

LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 20:10:47

You're doing what now??

Shaky Mon 04-Feb-13 20:15:18

Oh, this thread is brilliant grin

I thought you were Chaos on a name change with her twat phone

This thread has made me laugh so much, thank you

Waltons Mon 04-Feb-13 20:17:14

Another one crying with laughter.

And I though entails and aborigines was good!

LiviaAugusta Mon 04-Feb-13 20:18:11

Loving the muf coffee and living your work in general Meggle! grin

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 20:20:14

who has the t w a t phone?
I need support..he he he

back to food shifts & misses.

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 20:21:55

valour tomato pureeeeee is good from sainsburgers.

chubbachops Mon 04-Feb-13 20:22:17

hits:morrisons chocolate digestives, sensitive baby wipes, non bio washibg power and chucken and sweecorn soup
asdas gold roast coffee, trifle, little angel nappies, kitchen rill and anti bacterial spray
tescos chesp 24p chocolate

misses: morrisons fresh pizzss (taste like card board)
asdas jar sauces any of them are just bile
tesco pretty mucg anythingvthats own brand.

chubbachops Mon 04-Feb-13 20:24:21

omg! don't turn predictive of its worse just look at mine for cryinh out loud sad

Wolfcub Mon 04-Feb-13 20:29:48

oh that reminds me

hits: sainsbury's prem nappies

misses: tescos prem nappies - so bad I complained

Molepom Mon 04-Feb-13 20:30:44

I've got a Galaxy ace and feel your pain. My mates find my texts highly amusing and just call me now as it's quicker than trying to figure out my texts.

chubbachops Mon 04-Feb-13 20:34:15

I have the galaxy note 2 so the largw screen is sometimes difficult to type on especially when I cant find my glasses lol

CaptainNancy Mon 04-Feb-13 20:38:08

I have nothing to add, as these are mainly done to personal taste... but please don't stop- these are far too funny!

Actually- Sainsbury's basics 'cinema sweet' popcorn is fantastic- huge bag for 99p, tastes way better and fresher than cinema stuff, about 1/4 the price, and no burnt bits.

NormaStanleyFletcher Mon 04-Feb-13 20:38:54

This. Is. Brilliant.

Reminds me of the "links are my nemesis" Fred.

CaptainNancy Mon 04-Feb-13 20:38:56

Oh, FFS! I'm not even on a 'phone! confused down not 'done'

LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 20:43:02

Yes, Norma! I thought of that one. I was in pain laughing at it.

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 20:54:15

link please to the pain thread :-)

Beehatch Mon 04-Feb-13 20:56:56

Crying with laughter here. Megg you are never allowed to post again without your phone. And please start a shopping related thread at least once a week.

MousyMouse Mon 04-Feb-13 21:04:34

I'm in pain.

hits waitrose essential teabags (though not so delicious when snorted through the nose)
missus, can't think of any due to stitches.

LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 21:04:41
Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 21:10:39

I've just posted elsewhere. and I linked a pic of my daughter to a friend and meant to post "she is your pro t e g e e ..instead I wrote...she is your protein.

the phone...possessed.
off ti read the pUb thread

LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 21:14:57

I think we all need to go off to the pub.

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 21:15:11

awesome thread. ha just made me wee.

LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 21:18:22

There's a lot of talk of wee, muffs and twats on this supermarket thread. I'm not sure where I'm going with this.

brighthair Mon 04-Feb-13 21:28:43

The tortilla crisis and velour tomato puree just pushed me over the edge gringringrin
I'm howling here

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 21:29:06

<<waits with .baited breath>>

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 21:30:34

ps I'm not purr my phone knows what a twat is. [grim]

LavenderBriggs Mon 04-Feb-13 21:31:47

er...something about cats?

I'm in pain here. This thread is hilarious! grin

I actually quite like the sainsbos taste the difference sausages!

Hits - Sainsburys pickled onion cheese is brilliant. As is their basics pasta own brand cleaning stuff and loo roll is pretty good too

Misses - most Tesco and Asda own brand or value stuff is pants.

MmeLindor Mon 04-Feb-13 22:03:36

Miss - Sainsburys Stuffed Crust Cheese Pizza. Totally awful. Even DS wouldn't eat it

Hit - Tesco Stuffed Crust Cheese Pizza. Kids love this one

Misses - morrison's sauages. Low fat and come out sand dry even with minimal cooking.

meg pretty sure your phone knows what a twat it is. But it would make a lot of people unhappy if it stopped grin

Shaky Mon 04-Feb-13 22:45:03

Meggie I think I love you, you really have made me laugh tonight, thank you x

Shaky Mon 04-Feb-13 22:57:59

I am so sorry, I have just realised that I have spelled your name wrong on both threads blush

Maybe it's your threads that are possessed instead of your phone shock

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 23:02:27

it's defoo me not you Shady

mollymawk Mon 04-Feb-13 23:16:53

I'm sitting in bed reading this and laughing so much DH is complaining I'm making the bed shake...
(What will the neighbours think?)

ElephantsAndMiasmas Mon 04-Feb-13 23:18:06

What is a laughandfrightwee?

Shaky Mon 04-Feb-13 23:23:11

grin @ Shady

You are genius!

Maryz Mon 04-Feb-13 23:23:57

Erm, what type of phone do you have Meggle? Just so I can avoid it.

<sniggering at typos>

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 23:25:28 bed. how could you? [g r I n]
neighbours will think you're kinky .

elephants. laugh wee...when you laugh so hard you wee.

Megglevache Mon 04-Feb-13 23:27:22

Mary I think it's chalked a GALaxy.
it's the size of a small farmhouse table

MeanAndMeaslyMiddleAges Tue 05-Feb-13 00:47:11

I don't know who I love more - meggle or lavender

[hunches over phone eagerly] go on, do more writing.

I have laughed so hard at this that I woke month-old DS, who wobbled off the boob. I will. e feeding and rocking for another ten minutes at least so please keep typing grin
meggle I remember your DH Christmas shop thread grin grin grin read it. when laughing hurt my stitches and it was TOTALLY worth it!grin

Cannot. Stop. Laughing. grin

DP is also in stitches. I feel your pain though, I have a Samsung Galaxy Ace and I hate texting on it. I think I have MNetted once or twice and gave up.

CuttedUpPear Tue 05-Feb-13 01:08:31



tinkletinklestar Tue 05-Feb-13 03:01:25

Muf tasting coffee.... <brilliant>

Auto correct can be turned off, although i do have it and I manage to 99% of the time get it right.

tinkletinklestar Tue 05-Feb-13 03:01:53


I need jam that makes me poo...

TeeBee Tue 05-Feb-13 03:24:36

I thought this thread was going to be about people sharting in the supermarket.

Hits: any value Jaffa cakes and cream crackers, Asda value cookies and mustard screams (which is exactly what I will call them for evermore).
Misses: any value cereal, kids won't touch them (apart from wheatabix).

Megglevache Tue 05-Feb-13 07:13:50

mean&easy...go for Lavender she doesn't dribble and smell like me [grim]

hank you Tee llots of people have said valour gadaffi cakes will some today.

NormaStanleyFletcher Tue 05-Feb-13 07:16:21

valour gadaffi cakes - like it [grim] grin

Megglevache Tue 05-Feb-13 07:29:33

will check out the free-.from dictator range of pastries too...a r f !

LavenderBriggs Tue 05-Feb-13 07:29:42

Yeah, I don't dribble and smell! I don't think I have ever had a more graceful compliment grin [grim]

LavenderBriggs Tue 05-Feb-13 07:30:28

Saddam fish cakes?

I never thought s phone worse than mine would be about, love it grin
though I just had to input 'shit' manually on another thread as it seems my phone didn't recognise it hmm

NoRoomForMeInMyBed Tue 05-Feb-13 07:56:05

Tescos own brand cereals and granola, they all taste of chemical experiments and artificial sweetener gone mad... Why oh why? The apple and cinnamon granola is rank...

Megglevache Tue 05-Feb-13 09:11:02

Right about to set off to sainsburgers to stock up of valour range goodies.

Any last offerings.

Will be avoiding their pizzas /posh sausages like the plaque.

Megglevache Tue 05-Feb-13 09:13:20

O n v a l u e produce.
The conveyor belt will look like I'm doing a Coats Protection League Coffee Morning. Ha.

dinkystinky Tue 05-Feb-13 09:53:36

I love how the muff tasting coffee was from CptFellatioHornblower grin

Surely this thread should go in classics as a Samsung anti-ad!

Megglevache Tue 05-Feb-13 09:56:03

Dinky I love how the ribbing turned into shame hehe

ElephantsAndMiasmas Tue 05-Feb-13 10:03:48

I think it's time coats were properly protected. Meggle, I salute you.

P.S. My phone calls you "Muggle acne". I think it means it fondly.

Megglevache Tue 05-Feb-13 10:29:47

Muggle Acne is naice.

I am all laptopp'ed up now- so calm has been restored. The phone has been put near some holy water.

Cupboards are also fit to burstin' with Jaffa Cakes and other value brands that I'm interested to see if they pass the kids fusspot tastes.

LavenderBriggs Tue 05-Feb-13 10:30:36

Boo. Rubbish. <throws cabbage>

Megglevache Tue 05-Feb-13 10:38:01

Lavender- go start your own thread. grinSupermarche tyrant/bad food that you'd pay money for or somesuch...

oh man it's feels good to be able to grin

LavenderBriggs Tue 05-Feb-13 10:43:54


Che-se Straws

Peak Freans Trotsky Assortment

ElephantsAndMiasmas Tue 05-Feb-13 10:49:46

Are velour gaddafi cakes the "edgy" version of red velvet cakes?

Megglevache Tue 05-Feb-13 10:56:08


Excuse me dear do you have any fresh chilled Mussolini pasta?
Near the garlic bread?
What about Caesar do??? you were <<sees tumble weed rolling in the dry larder aisle>>

Megglevache Tue 05-Feb-13 10:57:02

Elephants on my screen it came up as Valour products. grin

Red Velour Cake sounds good. I'll have some.

NormaStanleyFletcher Tue 05-Feb-13 15:33:14

Meggle. When you are next on your phone could you ask about what brand of cous cous is best and then post without checking? Just in the interests of research you understand.


megglevache Tue 05-Feb-13 18:03:00

Ok did as you asked (people pleaser much. He he.

Phone says:

Marching goytbird conscious.

SnowieBear Tue 05-Feb-13 18:40:47

Meggle, I've just embarrased myself in public reading this thread. Thanks for the best laugh in ages!

BTW, my Galaxy has started to misbehave in sympathy... had to go through this post with a fine toothcomb. Do you think they do special rates on exorcisms? Buy one get one free?

Megglevache Tue 05-Feb-13 19:56:56's quiet Feb....I reckon we can negotiate a BOGOF on the erosion

Megglevache Tue 05-Feb-13 19:57:56

Erosion=e x o r c I s m. [Grim]

ExasperatedSigh Tue 05-Feb-13 22:55:34

Oh dear god. I have sobbed with laughter at this thread. Great to see you haven't lost your tiny wanker touch, Meggle grin

I've rofl at this this thread.

Custard cremes in this house shall be further more known in this house as mustard screams!! Your phone is a genius op grin

MeanAndMeaslyMiddleAges Wed 06-Feb-13 08:25:02

Love how my name became 'mean and easy' - yup, sounds right.

NormaStanleyFletcher Wed 06-Feb-13 08:37:27

<disappointment that cous cous did not become 'anus anus' as reported by another victim of autocorrect>


Megglevache Wed 06-Feb-13 08:51:42

Ha ha brilliant @ onus onus

Megglevache Wed 06-Feb-13 08:53:32

Ha ha ha ha ha my phone is not possessed.

It is just posh. ( wonders if posh will come out P o l i S h)

LavenderBriggs Wed 06-Feb-13 09:39:11

Posh? Pfft.

I told my half-Polish friend that she was Ploish. We think it's a nice word.

Megglevache Wed 06-Feb-13 10:06:07

I like Ploish.

That's someone who comes from the posh part of Poland then.

LavenderBriggs Wed 06-Feb-13 10:31:11

I say "told her she was Polish" - she did already know, I wasn't giving her news.

Your phone isn't possessed, it's infectious - that's why I'm going all Ploish with my spelling.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Wed 06-Feb-13 11:30:59

Atchhhly Measly my phone knows you as "Mwanza sneaky".

As you will know, Mwanza is the capital of Sukumaland.

Megglevache Wed 06-Feb-13 12:55:47 need to check the country of origin your phone is from...

<<acts all innocent and superior>>

ouryve Wed 06-Feb-13 12:57:10

I want some Mustard Screams!

Megglevache Wed 06-Feb-13 12:58:25

Ouryve- they were all out of basics but had masses of January diggers <<sic- I thank you>>in grin

GetOrf Wed 06-Feb-13 13:27:14

This thread is brilliant


Megglevache Wed 06-Feb-13 13:41:54

Nowt to do with me grin

JulesJules Thu 07-Feb-13 18:38:30

[grim] [grim] [grim]

Love this thread. Mustard Screams sound brilliant. My sister's phone once autocorrected a hated bosses initials to 'bitch'. Still gives me a warm feeling inside.

I like the value/smart price dark chocolate at Sains or Asda. Smart price smoked salmon trimmings for about 90p - makes lovely smoked salmon quiche.
Sains basics mackerel for mackerel pate.

Megglevache Thu 07-Feb-13 20:20:53

jules price choc are you sure? is it not like Aldi Easter eggs? <<boaks >>

JulesJules Thu 07-Feb-13 20:31:57

MILES better than Easter Egg chocolate or American chocolate.

I test it regularly while I'm making chocolate brownies for me and DH for the children

I think it was on a Mumsnet recommends email once so not just me [grim]

Shaky Thu 07-Feb-13 20:55:56

I want mustard screams they will be known as mustard screams forever more in this house

You may just have invented a new mumsnet saying [grim] grin

phantomnamechanger Thu 07-Feb-13 20:56:58

MN is soooo bad for my health - have just nearly PMSL, am literally crying, and then had a massive coughing fit and nearly choked to death! it was the

Torillus crisis that tipped me over the edge, dear lord! [wheeze]

LavenderBriggs Thu 07-Feb-13 20:58:02

<gently pats Phantom on the back>

phantomnamechanger Thu 07-Feb-13 21:00:20

why, thank you, Lavender

this thread has to go in classics!

dinkystinky Thu 07-Feb-13 21:02:43

I asked MNHQ to put it in classics but got a message back saying it has to be vetted by a panel with strong pelvic floors - or something to that effect....

Megglevache Thu 07-Feb-13 21:14:04

the humiliation was worth it for the 18 pence I'll save on my next big shop.

WhereMyMilk Thu 07-Feb-13 21:35:51


How many valour gaddafi cakes did you buy?confused

DeepRedBetty Thu 07-Feb-13 22:29:27

Thank you. I'm also nominating for Classics as this is considerably funnier than some of the twaddle they've allowed through the Hallowed Halls recently.

But only after I've changed my pants. Yes, I too have had a tiny bit of wee incident due to over enthusiastic snurking blush

ElephantsAndMiasmas Fri 08-Feb-13 08:58:34

I wish I had a phone that would sweatshop will. If I type shot if comes up as shot. Shit.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Fri 08-Feb-13 09:00:28

"swear at will"

Poor will, either way. We re all fair trade swearing round here.

LavenderBriggs Fri 08-Feb-13 09:31:38

Yes, it's about time that Will got a job, even if it doesn't have good conditions.

Megglevache Fri 08-Feb-13 09:43:09

Havana ! Hilare !
my how the worm does turn!

<<hands over shite phone baton >>

Megglevache Fri 08-Feb-13 09:46:08

h a h a h a ...not Havana . obviously.

<<keeps hold of batøn du Shiite>>

LOLOLOL... come to this late but shits and misses/mustard screams are both brilliant. Thank you for brightening up my day smile

OMG! Laxative January! Torrilus crisis! valour gadaffi cakes! Coats Protection League!

I am crying.

Megglevache Fri 08-Feb-13 10:09:00

soupy ..I wish I could bisque in the limelight.

comedy genius here is the phone and LavenderB [grim]

and out and about so on the phone again.

bisque in the limelight! [howl]

I feel utterly shite and full of cold today - needed a good laugh!

LavenderBriggs Fri 08-Feb-13 10:11:10


LavenderBriggs Fri 08-Feb-13 10:12:15


NormaStanleyFletcher Fri 08-Feb-13 10:37:45

Bisque in the limelight? Surely a job for Rick Stein?

Megglevache Fri 08-Feb-13 10:43:15

oh my god. soupy/bisque in the same phone is f a r k I n ' genius alright.

GetOrf Fri 08-Feb-13 11:06:27

Valour gadaffi cakes is brilliant. Yes please for this to go into classics - it is absolutely brilliant.

GetOrf Fri 08-Feb-13 11:07:00

ROAR at bisque and soupy. grin

Supermim Fri 08-Feb-13 11:25:34

Morrisons own brand soups are really nice............. but don't tell everyone

Megglevache Fri 08-Feb-13 11:38:11

thanks superman.

am toppling at Elephants "fair trade swearing" h r h e h e.

LavenderBriggs Fri 08-Feb-13 12:14:18

Now, I get the gender change for Supermin, but I'm a bit wavy hand at toppled - it's not usual, but Megglevache does seem to be having a coughing fit.

Megglevache Fri 08-Feb-13 12:42:47

hey L a v.
was *ROFFLING ...but I let that one s l i d e.

if I put s space in between each letter it comes out fine but I get RSI [grim]

NormaStanleyFletcher Fri 08-Feb-13 13:00:09
ElephantsAndMiasmas Fri 08-Feb-13 13:01:01

Ah, I was imagining this was Meggle.

LavenderBriggs Fri 08-Feb-13 14:34:36

Hey Meg. If I let any of them slide, then I'd be out of a job, wouldn't I? And then where would we be?

I think slide looks cool with spaces in it. What's the keystroke equivalent of onomatopoetic?

ElephantsAndMiasmas Fri 08-Feb-13 17:53:23


Megglevache Fri 08-Feb-13 19:16:58

cricket mosses ...elephants is my heroine today.

Beehatch Fri 08-Feb-13 22:35:24

I know cricket is sloooow, but does it really gather moss?? Every day a school day [grim]

NormaStanleyFletcher Fri 08-Feb-13 23:04:44

Cricket mosses?

Is that the green patch they get on their trousers where they rub the ball?

DameFanny Sat 09-Feb-13 00:07:01

This thread just keeps on giving [grim]

Megglevache Sat 09-Feb-13 08:44:03

.twas c r I k e y M o s e s... [grim]

bit slow on the update!

LavenderBriggs Sat 09-Feb-13 08:58:24

Yes Elephants, that's the sort of thing.


[happy sigh]

Megglevache Sat 09-Feb-13 15:12:33

Holy Shit. I didn't even realise it said update. YY uptake.

My brain is slowly getting used to phone speak. I was talking to someone today, in my best sincere tone said profane instead of profound ....twat, much?

Megglevache Sat 09-Feb-13 15:13:24

arffage @ Norma's green willy patch translation.

LavenderBriggs Sat 09-Feb-13 15:41:12
Megglevache Sat 09-Feb-13 22:55:58

heheh heheh. LOVE!

Shaky Sun 10-Feb-13 21:34:38

<snuck> [grim]

I love this thread grin

Shaky Sun 10-Feb-13 21:36:24

<fecking autocorrect> or is it the Meggie effect

Thumbwitch Mon 11-Feb-13 12:53:29

OMG, have just almost PMS trying not to wake the baby by laughing out loud - this is PRICELESS!

"NotADragonOfSoup Fri 08-Feb-13 09:55:55
OMG! Laxative January! Torrilus crisis! valour gadaffi cakes! Coats Protection League!

I am crying."

These, all of them. I was doing ok until the valour gadaffi cakes and then the Coats Protection League just finished me off.

I am SOOOO glad I don't have a twatphone but I do rather love everyone else's problems with theirs (well, Chaos, Trampypants and now you, Megg!) grin or should that be [grim]

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 11-Feb-13 18:58:39


NormaStanleyFletcher Mon 11-Feb-13 23:16:23

Ahem - Olivia


Megglevache Wed 13-Feb-13 22:45:38

let it lie Bolivia. [grim}

Beehatch Thu 14-Feb-13 10:16:03

I almost don't want to disturb that perfect ending to this thread, but I have to know if you meant to type Bolivia <cries with laughter>

Tesco value cookies - roof-of-the-mouth-tearingly bad
Sainsbury's own brand pull ups - leaky

Aldi cumberland sausages, about 98p and lovely!
Aldi Kitchen roll - as good as Bounty etc.
Aldi's version of 'Cheerio's'
Tesco's own brand 'febreeze style' spray
Aldi Mosher Roth chocolate

Groovee Thu 14-Feb-13 10:31:35

Haha best thread I've read in a long time since Chaos and her multiple postings!

12ylnon Thu 14-Feb-13 10:49:49

Sainsbury's basics custard is yum! A little runny, but it only costs about 8p for a tin, so no complaints from me.

Megglevache Thu 14-Feb-13 12:45:22

*p for value custard [grim] amazebolleux!
and 89p Aldi saucisson! The shame was worth it for those gemstones!

Beehatch (nope not my own work at all!) I really should take the glory shouldn't I?

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