What's the best advice you're ever been given?

(351 Posts)
Flickstix Mon 21-Jan-13 21:40:52

Be it from mumsnet or real life!

ThePathanKhansWitch Mon 21-Jan-13 21:46:55

A pound at your back, is far better than a pond on your back.

ThePathanKhansWitch Mon 21-Jan-13 21:48:31

Pound, a pond on your back would be wet and heavy.grin

sausagesandwich34 Mon 21-Jan-13 21:51:31

Don't stress the things you have no control over

TheFallenNinja Mon 21-Jan-13 21:53:29

Don't pronounce the words look and book like your from Stoke, you'll never get taken seriously.

True story

While you are waiting for your bus to come, you might as well talk to the people in the queue.

I was single at the time.

AuntLucyInPeru Mon 21-Jan-13 21:56:26

Never eat yellow snow.

YDdraigGoch Mon 21-Jan-13 21:58:38

Do as you would be done by

Wherever you go there you are. Stopped me running away from everything

amistillsexy Mon 21-Jan-13 22:02:11

Marry for love...

amistillsexy Mon 21-Jan-13 22:03:13

...Love where there's money. grin

deleted203 Mon 21-Jan-13 22:03:20

Don't let the bastards grind you down! grin. Or 'be yourself' probably.

foslady Mon 21-Jan-13 22:06:25

You've got to believe in yourself, or no one will believe in you (thanks Ozzy!)

Lifeisontheup Mon 21-Jan-13 22:07:18

'Be available but boring' when referring to babies/children at night.

Horsemad Mon 21-Jan-13 22:08:51

'It's the quiet ones you've got to watch' Thanks Mum! grin

HomeEcoGnomist Mon 21-Jan-13 22:08:59

If in doubt, leave it out

Mintyy Mon 21-Jan-13 22:10:09

Put the baby down to sleep when she/he is still awake.

TalkinPeace2 Mon 21-Jan-13 22:13:22

Regret what you have done, not what you have not.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Mon 21-Jan-13 22:14:31

Push through the pain.

Said by my lovely midwife mid-labour. Was the most important thing I ever learnt. Well it felt like it at the time. smile

BinksToEnlightenment Mon 21-Jan-13 22:15:02

Just give things a try instead of being a miserable killjoy.

AWhistlingWoman Mon 21-Jan-13 22:15:25

Be careful of the thing you want, you'll get it.

OhIWishThereWasABook Mon 21-Jan-13 22:15:29

Pretend to be brave, no one will know the difference.

It's not important if it won't be important in a year.

80sMum Mon 21-Jan-13 22:20:25

If you can't afford it, live without it.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Mon 21-Jan-13 22:23:02

Sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. Thanks dad.

spatchcock Mon 21-Jan-13 22:25:27

sauce thickens on standing.

It really does!

whattodoo Mon 21-Jan-13 22:26:24

Never tell a man you love him unless you really can't bear not to.

Pick your battles.

Always pick fresh food from the back of the supermarket shelf.

Dancingqueen17 Mon 21-Jan-13 22:26:54

Always volunteer first, the jobs only ever get worse!

If it ain't broke, don't fix it grin

This too shall pass... it really will. Time really is a great healer. Some things/feelings never truly disappear but time helps.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Mon 21-Jan-13 22:38:33

TalkingPeace2 Isn't it other way round? confused

BikeRunSki Mon 21-Jan-13 22:38:41

think about it for 48 hours. If it's still playing on your mind, you'll have your answer. if it's not, it was never meant to be.

From my lovely and wise uncle.

VikingLady Mon 21-Jan-13 22:39:20

Will you still care in 5 years? Then it isn't important.

Bluestocking Mon 21-Jan-13 22:40:39

If you make a mistake, tell it all, tell it early, tell it yourself. This has saved my sorry ass a couple of times at work! Takes a bit of guts to zoom into your boss's office and fess up immediately but is always better in the long run.

Sorry if you've already seen this, but I think this is awesome

http://blog.cleveland.com/pdextra/2007/09/regina_bretts_45_life_lessons.html

ThePathanKhansWitch Mon 21-Jan-13 22:40:47

Never tell your children your indiscretions.

Fishandjam Mon 21-Jan-13 22:41:37

The prize for being good at digging holes is a bigger shovel.

Ragwort Mon 21-Jan-13 22:41:50

'You can't change anyone else's behaviour, you can only change your own behaviour. smile

<wish some of the posters on the relationships board would understand this sad>

ImperialBlether Mon 21-Jan-13 22:43:05

If you're a broody kind of person, the chances are you'll still be broody after having a baby, so don't rush having one.

Corygal Mon 21-Jan-13 22:43:54

Que sera sera.

When you are knackered & out of ideas, keep trying. You will surprise yourself.

recall Mon 21-Jan-13 22:46:07

If you can't get out of it, get into it.

regarding the children, I think a HV or someone once said "Just make their world a good place" and it really helped me when I was getting mixed up with stuff like naughty step, sleep problems, food issues, temper tantrums etc There is so much conflicting advice out there but if I stick by that it always works.

blue2 Mon 21-Jan-13 22:48:11

"Do as you would be done by" (Thanks, Dad)

I'd treat The Queen as I would our dustmen!

magimedi88 Mon 21-Jan-13 23:02:55

Regret is a waste of time. Move on.

What takes you ten minutes in the evening takes you half an hour i n the morning.

(The latter was from my mother & so annoyingly she was right! )

CabbageLeaves Mon 21-Jan-13 23:04:23

Nothing lasts forever (good or bad)

Absolutelylost Mon 21-Jan-13 23:59:06

'Don't fight with pigs. You'll both get dirty but the pigs like it.' Courtesy of my mum.

Naysa Tue 22-Jan-13 00:08:15

Go hard or go home.

omri Tue 22-Jan-13 00:19:33

Don't worry about something that hasn't happened.
As in, it may never happen so don't waste your time or energy worrying about it! Have to remind myself of that sometimes...

Recall- I love that- just make their world a good place- I'm going to remember that one when I'm stressing over the day to day nonsense smile

JumpHerWho Tue 22-Jan-13 00:22:59

You can't change other people but you can change your reaction to them.

I repeat this often to DH who gets road rage hmm

JumpHerWho Tue 22-Jan-13 00:23:37

Also loving 'make their world a good place' smile

ThePathanKhansWitch Tue 22-Jan-13 00:23:58

Where there's hair, there's comfort, where there's none, there' s an arguement.

lubeybooby Tue 22-Jan-13 00:27:15

This too shall pass

Never make someone a priority if they consider you merely an option

Don't sweat the small stuff (and remember, it's all small stuff)

Before you diagnose yourself with depression, make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by arseholes.

and one like JumpHerWho which was something about not being able to change a situation but you can change your reaction to it.

lubeybooby Tue 22-Jan-13 00:28:15

oh and - Guilt is pointless. Just let it go.

Booyhoo Tue 22-Jan-13 00:28:45

engage at a level you are comfortable with.

also something about worrying and a rocking chair an getting you nowhere but cant remember the exact wording. sorry. blush

FarelyKnuts Tue 22-Jan-13 00:31:51

Be yourself- everyone else is taken

Booyhoo Tue 22-Jan-13 00:32:27

the point at which you feel you cant go on is the point at which you must.

FarelyKnuts Tue 22-Jan-13 00:33:41

boyhoo I think it is "what do rocking chairs and worry have in common? They both keep you occupied but don't get you anywhere"

Booyhoo Tue 22-Jan-13 00:40:09

oh thank you farely that sounds right.

Booyhoo Tue 22-Jan-13 00:42:27

i have a piece of advice that i decided was invaluable about an hour ago

never take the cover off a bean bag and expect it to go on again. 20 minutes fighting with that bastard tonight! i won though. just grin

putthelimeinthecoconut Tue 22-Jan-13 00:56:43

Don't argue with idiots, they drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Groan and forget it.
I tend to dwell on little mistakes so try to remember this one!

thepigflu Tue 22-Jan-13 03:52:57

Nothing in life stays the same.

dolcelatte Tue 22-Jan-13 03:58:42

Be grateful, be happy, be kind.

Piemother Tue 22-Jan-13 03:59:09

Have a look at Mumsnet dear, I hear its terribly political.

From my mother grin

Lavenderhoney Tue 22-Jan-13 05:20:46

Be your own best friend
You are sometimes better off on your own
You only go round once. Make the most of it.

BlueyDragon Tue 22-Jan-13 05:27:40

This too shall pass [thanks MN].

Never be afraid to say fuck to a judge.

SnowBusiness Tue 22-Jan-13 05:34:52

Better to be kind than right. (especially helpful at christmas)

akaemmafrost Tue 22-Jan-13 05:43:23

To get past it you've got to go through it. I often think of this when things are particularly rubbish.

ComradeJing Tue 22-Jan-13 06:10:08

This too will pass was most appropriate to 2012.

Don't put it down - put it away. <-- Trying to learn to be tidy this year

Don't put off to tomorrow what you can do now. I'm a terrible, terrible procrastinator and I'm trying to drum this into my head now. <slinks off MN>

Borntobeamum Tue 22-Jan-13 07:37:09

A smile costs nothing x

fledtoscotland Tue 22-Jan-13 07:43:59

What is for you won't go by you

Things will always come out in the wash - from my late gran usually about my mothers lies. Strangely true that the truth will always surface at some point.

LadyMaryCrawley Tue 22-Jan-13 07:59:16

if you're going through hell, keep going.

BeeBawBabbity Tue 22-Jan-13 08:10:36

Ah yes fled my Mum always said What's fir ye won't go by ye. Is that a Scottish saying?

I think someone upthread said Better to regret something you've done than something you haven't done. I like that one.

TroublesomeEx Tue 22-Jan-13 08:22:02

Better to be thought a fool and remain silent than to speak and remove all doubt.

Rules are made for fools to follow and wise wo/men to interpret.

2cats2many Tue 22-Jan-13 08:25:57

'If he hits you once, leave immediately because he'll do it again.'

Advice given to me when I was 16 by a female motorbiking lecturer. Thankfully I've never been in a position where I've had to follow it, but I hope I'd be strong enough to it if I was.

GooseyLoosey Tue 22-Jan-13 08:35:56

From my mother - everyone thinks they are a terrible parent sometimes - get over it and get on with it.

Before you get into an argument with someone consider what you want to get out of it and then consider if the argument is still worthwhile.

KittyMcAllister Tue 22-Jan-13 08:36:18

You can't change the past, you can only change the future - and you can do that by acting in the present. (My mother.)

GingerPCatt Tue 22-Jan-13 08:50:05

Just because someone writes your name on a bag of rocks doesn't mean you have to carry it.

Would you rather be right or happy.

(When people are giving advise) smile and nod and then do whatever the fuck You want to do.

obrigada Tue 22-Jan-13 10:02:03

mumtoone 'wherever you are there you go'. very apt advice for me this morning!

fledtoscotland Tue 22-Jan-13 10:19:51

Beebawbabbity- think it must be. It's commonly used round Glasgow. Tis v true.

milk Tue 22-Jan-13 10:27:47

The greatest things you'll ever learn is how to love, and be loved in return.

Lottapianos Tue 22-Jan-13 10:32:12

'Just because someone writes your name on a bag of rocks doesn't mean you have to carry it'

Love this smile

You don't have to do what people expect of you

The most important thing in life is you - if you don't take care of yourself, you cannot take care of anyone else.

No such thing as 'overthinking'. It's just thinking. And in any case, it's better than 'underthinking' smile

Booyhoo Tue 22-Jan-13 10:37:57

'wherever you are there you go'.

what does this one mean?

whatphididnext Tue 22-Jan-13 10:42:10

'Just because someone writes your name on a bag of rocks doesn't mean you have to carry it' smile Brilliant.

I am going to tell this one to my DS1 when he gets home. He carries the weight of the world sometimes.

from Rodrigues - "A monkey in silk is a monkey no less"

whatphididnext Tue 22-Jan-13 10:44:23

Booyhoo
I think it means that you take yourself wherever you go, and I think it's wherever you go, there you are.

So for example, if you were in a difficult situation and you don't change the way you feel about yourself or your behaviour, you will take the same crap into the new relationship/job/situation/country etc

fuckadoodlepoopoo Tue 22-Jan-13 10:45:43

You can't control how others behave, only how you react to it.

(really reduced my anger and stress levels that one did)

wriggletto Tue 22-Jan-13 10:54:01

If not now, when?

MoominmammasHandbag Tue 22-Jan-13 11:08:34

Love is a verb.
It doesn't matter what they do, it only matters what you do. (I think the last one is in a Terry Pratchett book. He has some amazingly wise and moral sayings.)

xxDebstarxx Tue 22-Jan-13 11:20:20

Don't try and be a perfect mum, be a good enough mum.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

What's the worst that can happen?

Does it really matter?

Don't try to do something, do something!

Flossiechops Tue 22-Jan-13 11:22:59

My mum advised my 17yr old self not to have the tattoo that I so desperately wanted. She was right, I should of listened to her sad

GingerPCatt Tue 22-Jan-13 15:46:45

The bag of rocks quote came from a great blog tomatonation.com. She does a brilliant advice collumn.

KellyElly Tue 22-Jan-13 15:50:58

Time is a great healer. A cliche but very true.

Be kind to yourself.

You can't be responsible for the behaviour of others.

Take responsibility for your own actions.

Seize the day.

PostBellumBugsy Tue 22-Jan-13 15:59:48

"Above all be the heroine of your own life, not the victim" - Nora Ephron

I chant that quote to myself so often, when I'm having a struggley moment. Find it really motivating - it makes me think as though I were advising myself what I'd do, if I were the heroine of my own life and not actually myself stuck in a quandry or rut. Not sure I've explained that very well!

PicaK Tue 22-Jan-13 16:12:44

Never cause fear and never feel fear - english uni lecturer

Layer your scent - random bridal magazine. I loved being on honeymoon with the shower gel, the body lotion and the perfume!

Never scruple to employ mendacity or a fictitious appearance of female incompetence - Amelia Peabody

Whatever it takes - on looking after babies

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Tue 22-Jan-13 16:25:06

"No is a complete sentence"

Also a friend gave me a card when I was 19 and having an awful time with a lying, cheating boyfriend which said "No man is worth your tears, but the one that is will never make you cry". Soppy yes, but it helped me be strong and move on. 18 months later I met my now husband grin

Lottapianos Tue 22-Jan-13 16:26:31

That's a fabulous quote PostBellumBugsy, thanks for the reminder smile

magicrat Tue 22-Jan-13 16:41:54

Never trust a man who supports two football teams. After all, if he can't even be faithful to a football team...

Abra1d Tue 22-Jan-13 16:48:26

Sometimes just getting through to bedtime without having killed your very small children or teenagers is the best you can hope for.

VitoCorleone Tue 22-Jan-13 18:25:32

Being bitter is like drinking poision and expecting somebody else to die.

Soooo true, people let bitterness and resentment eat away at them whilst the person who made you feel like that is not affected at all, they dont give a shit, you're only ruining your own life and wasting your own time.

If you don't love yourself, how in hell you gon' love somebody else? - Ru Paul grin

vision123 Tue 22-Jan-13 18:31:18

If you have not got the money, you cannot afford it.

It is not how much you earn it's what you spend it on.

Flickstix Tue 22-Jan-13 18:53:19

I love this thread!

SoftKittyWarmKitty Tue 22-Jan-13 19:22:04

What other people think, say and do, is always about them and never about you.

You can't argue with stupid.

The squeaky wheel always gets the grease.

secretlyahippy Tue 22-Jan-13 19:33:00

When you are lying on your deathbed, you are not going to look back and wish you had spent more time cleaning the house.

Manners cost nothing.

You catch more flies with honey.

Actually, the flies with honey and manners ones are true. I used to work within the emergency services and I always made more progress with difficult people when using a smile and a please, than I ever did with shouting at people.

BoffinMum Tue 22-Jan-13 19:59:13

Sign up for a occupational final salary pension scheme. Ignore the dodgy financial advisor telling you to get a personal one. grin

Thanks Dad gringrin

milkwagon Tue 22-Jan-13 20:01:00

'Draw a line under it and move on.' Has helped me maintain focus when it's gone up shit creek.

ladymalfoy Tue 22-Jan-13 20:34:45

Don't worry about things at night that you can't fix til the morning. No matter how much you pay for hosiary, it will always tear or pull. True love really does come to those who wait. No matter how much you do for your pupils, they will find a way to break your heart. Less is really just less. Before embarking on a relationship try and sniff that patch of skin just behind the earlobe.

Booyhoo Tue 22-Jan-13 20:36:45

"Being bitter is like drinking poision and expecting somebody else to die.

Soooo true, people let bitterness and resentment eat away at them whilst the person who made you feel like that is not affected at all, they dont give a shit, you're only ruining your own life and wasting your own time. "

totally agree with every word of this!

i have had reason to cut a few people out of my life recently and some people have said i'm bitter and i'm holding a grudge. well actually it's the opposite of that. i've cut them out of my life so that i can let go of the feelings the encourage in me. i dont seethe every day about the fact that they exist or what they have done. because i have cut them out i neer see them and have very few reminders so i feel so much freer and lighter. it is a very liberating thing to do. it ties in with my "engage at the level you're comfortable with" mantra.

spudmurphy Tue 22-Jan-13 20:49:05

Life isn't a rehearsal.

No one can make you feel inferior except yourself.

Blood is thicker than water... but love is thicker than blood.

CinnabarRed Tue 22-Jan-13 21:41:13

Be more kind than you need to be.

letsgetreadytoramble Tue 22-Jan-13 21:42:41

If there's a tractor coming towards you, there's always going to be an idiot about to overtake it.

CheeseOnTop Tue 22-Jan-13 21:47:09

If you drop/ knock over the iron, do not try too catch it .

From my mum, when teaching me to iron.

wordfactory Tue 22-Jan-13 22:02:24

Perfectionism is the enemy of achievement.

Doing the same thing and expecting a different result is the definition is stupidity.

Hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

neverputasockinatoaster Tue 22-Jan-13 22:05:33

Fake it until you make it.

This too shall pass - used to whisper that to myself over and over in my sleep deprived hours when first DS and then DD didn't sleep AT ALL unless attached to me...........

Shakey1500 Tue 22-Jan-13 22:09:11

Loads.

When I got caught bunking and was crapping it an older friend of my sister's said "Don't worry, this will NOT be the worst day of your life". She was right.

Don't worry about what people think of you. You'd be surprised at how infrequently they do.

Look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves (troo dat grin )

Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor (Sondheim)

cuillereasoupe Tue 22-Jan-13 22:16:58

No-one's looking at you, they're too worried about looking like arses themselves, so just get up there and dance.

browniebear Tue 22-Jan-13 22:18:59

'Your first reaction is usually the right one'

Said to me by my dad when I found the straw that broke the camels back and decided to chuck exH out

Bluemonkeyspots Tue 22-Jan-13 22:26:54

The worst thing in life is not being alone, it's being surrounded by people that make you feel alone.

Never put yourself down, there are plenty of others out there who will do it for you.

sydneysuze Tue 22-Jan-13 22:43:12

This is apparently the AA prayer but it got me through the delivery of my stillborn child xxx

The original, attributed to Niebuhr, is:

God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things I cannot change,
Courage to face the things
which must be changed,
and the Wisdom to know the difference.

Chanting and breathing this got me through

Pollykitten Tue 22-Jan-13 22:50:53

When I was an earnest adolescent I asked an elderly lady friend of the family if there was anything she wished she'd known when she was my age (14 at the time). Her answer was 'moisturised by neck!'

Pollykitten Tue 22-Jan-13 22:51:06

my

Winternight Tue 22-Jan-13 22:58:18

Count your blessings

farmersdaugther Tue 22-Jan-13 23:01:40

Wear suncream!

What I said to a friend who was stressing out of her newborn baby..she keep saying, but the book says I should be doing this etc etc....

'The book wasn't written for you and DC, put it down, you know your baby'

Willdoitinaminute Tue 22-Jan-13 23:03:53

Kindness kills. The mantra of all passive-aggressives.

boogiewoogie Tue 22-Jan-13 23:09:31

Be kind.
Love is a decision.

You are allowed to say no.

BonzoDooDah Tue 22-Jan-13 23:20:32

Aw some of these are great. I really appreciate " The worst thing in life is not being alone, it's being surrounded by people that make you feel alone"

On stressing about raising small children my sister's friend told her this and she abided by it - then told me and so did I:
"Don't stress about when they can and cannot do things (milestones). As long as by the time they go to school they can walk, talk, are out of nappies and don't have a dummy then the rest of the timings don't matter a jot."

Made all of the compettitive mummy talk / stress fade away for me.

When you bear a grudge you are just carrying around someone else's shit. Put it down and walk away.

Don't trip over something behind you.

It's not time to worry yet (spent most of my life thinking this was something my dad said to us as kids only to realise when I read To Kill A Mockingbird for the first time in decades that it was Atticus Finch! Has comforted me through many a panic. It has only really been time to worry a handful of times in 40+ years.)

marriedinwhite Tue 22-Jan-13 23:38:42

Deal with it and move on.

Look forwards not backwards.

As one door closes another opens

Everything you do has a consequence

Smile, and the world smiles with you - I think that's very true

If you can't pay in pound notes, you can't afford it.

Startail Tue 22-Jan-13 23:42:04

Humans are programmed to fall in love, make sure you like the man first.
From DDad.

Startail Tue 22-Jan-13 23:53:08

One for tonight. Also DDad's

The ice is always on the apex of the bend, you were already taking too fast.

Booyhoo Tue 22-Jan-13 23:53:23

one from my lovely irish teacher. i think it's an irish saying.

"dont break your leg on a stool that's not in your way."

also he taught us "a man's nose is often broken by his mouth" he was very keen on making sure you were prepared for the consequences of what you said in any circumstance and this one was often trotted out to us.

ismaithliom Wed 23-Jan-13 00:15:53

Some good advice there.

I try remind myself of
"What's meant for you won't pass you"

and I wish I had have listened to my Mother's advice.........

"Throw out all of those books" (pointing at the shelf-full of baby care/parenting books). You live and learn.

blondieminx Wed 23-Jan-13 01:29:49

If you do what you always do ... you'll get what you always got.

This is a great thread!

HoraceHorseface Wed 23-Jan-13 05:46:42

"Every cloud has a silver lining"

redexpat Wed 23-Jan-13 08:23:17

Never say something in the heat of the moment just to hurt someone. You'll always regret it.

Bumblequeen Wed 23-Jan-13 09:37:48

People do not think about us half as much as we would like to believe.

Some people are only for a season.

There is a reason for everything that happens in our lives.

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Familiarity is a magician that is cruel to beauty but kind to ugliness.

PostBellumBugsy Wed 23-Jan-13 09:41:00

Booyhoo - great line on bitterness.

Bumblequeen - fab quote from Paulo Coelho on your first line:

"We wouldn't worry nearly as much about what others thought of us, if we recognise how seldom they do."

Billiekins Wed 23-Jan-13 11:07:47

'It's only a problem if you decide it is'

Good to remember when being given unsolicited baby advice, again

Makeminealarge Wed 23-Jan-13 11:23:12

If you can't be good, be careful! wink Also only gain what you can afford. Treat others how you'd like to be treated, good manners are free.

nipersvest Wed 23-Jan-13 11:26:00

dh said this with regard to my dad...

"expect nothing, that way you'll never be disappointed"

Katla Wed 23-Jan-13 11:27:45

Loads of great thoughts on here.

On what others think of us:
'I don't care what you think of me; I don't think about you at all' (Coco Chanel)

Also, I read a blog once about not engaging in malicious gossip and try to live by that - if I wouldn't say or repeat something to someones face then I'll not repeat it (unless it's to my DH!)

Keep a secret if someone has trusted you with it.

Be kind and treat others as you would like to be treated.

Don't engage with arseholes - there are enough good people in the world.

Bumblequeen Wed 23-Jan-13 11:42:59

Know who your friends are.

Learn to think before speaking.

Do not seek the approval of others. If people do not accept you now, they never genuinely will.

I like the saying "Do not make someone a priority when you are their option". I have done this in my younger years and learnt my lesson. 'Friends' who were happy to fit me in when convenient for them now only see me when I am ready if at all.

Arithmeticulous Wed 23-Jan-13 11:46:10

You make a better door than a window.

Can't have cook for tea and cook for dinner.

You'll have someone's eye out with that.

when i was at uni I was pregnant with my first baby and really worried. My mum was already dead and my grandad sort of "stepped in" to try to give advice when i was in a panic. He was ill on oxygen and in his 80s. I can see it clear as day in my head - he took his mask of looked at me and said "when shes a toddler - bed at 6 get up at 6 and everything else will work our". I suppose it was really old fashioned in a way but thats what I did, once she was past the baby stage (and my grandad was dead by this point) she went to bed at six and we got up at 6 and it worked!. Now there are 5 of them we still have the same pattern (oldest is 8 now so her bedtime is 7:30 though! but the under 5s still to bed at 6, 6 year old at 7, 8 year old at 7:30).

There is NO negotiation and actually I dont know how I would manage without the routine that is set. People say how do you manage with the 5 and running the business etc - because I get up early and have plenty of time to relax in the evening.

Of all the advice I have been given thats the one that I will NEVER forget!

Booyhoo Wed 23-Jan-13 14:16:12

One I have been given lots of times on mn is just to always trust your gut. It really has never failed me. That feeling is there for a very good reason. And it's not a good feeling for a very good reason.

corlan Wed 23-Jan-13 14:28:27

"Never eat anything bigger than your head."

If only I'd listened!

PostBellumBugsy Wed 23-Jan-13 14:54:46

Crikey Corlan - what have you been eating? Whole cows?

peeriebear Wed 23-Jan-13 15:19:28

Always view people through rose tinted glasses. People all have faults and most of them can be forgiven/overlooked.

StuntNun Thu 24-Jan-13 16:48:22

Life's hard, get a helmet. - I take this to mean you shouldn't expect things to be easy.

Just because someone tries to hand you a pile of shit doesn't mean you have to take it. - Learn to say no.

Viviennemary Thu 24-Jan-13 16:53:08

Live within your means. That was from my Dad. He didn't approve of debt. Also don't eat green potatoes. I didn't know they were really bad for you but apparently they are.

BlueberryInMyTummy Thu 24-Jan-13 16:56:01

"enjoy every minute"..said to me by lots of different people when DS was born and 11 months on they were so right! I've enjoyed so many seconds, minutes, hours and days but I could have enjoyed some more if I'd stuck more closely to their advice!

Timetoask Thu 24-Jan-13 17:01:31

Work hard and travel lots before having children

I told the one about "what is meant for you, won't pass you by" to my mum yesterday, after I was turned down for yet another job. She just smiled and said, "Exactly". smile

I'm going to keep repeating that one to myself I think smile

LaQueen Thu 24-Jan-13 17:23:32

From my very wise, and very happily married Auntie: 'Love your children and give them lots of attention. But don't forget to love your DH and give him lots of attention, too. One day your children will leave home, and on that day you don't want to look at your DH and think 'Oh no, it's just us now...'

winemakesmeclever Thu 24-Jan-13 17:47:56

"If you don't like it, alter it. If you can't alter it, put up with it". Thank you DH Lawrence esq.

thegreylady Thu 24-Jan-13 17:49:28

from Grandad; Bow your knee to no one but shake the hand of any

JS06 Thu 24-Jan-13 18:04:53

From my Dad - never drink so much at another person's house that you're sick on their carpets.

Never trust a man with a purse.

Worked a treat for me!

Lottapianos Thu 24-Jan-13 18:19:55

Excellent advice from your dad. I would add 'or all over their back garden'

LillethTheCat Thu 24-Jan-13 18:33:14

Dont know if its been said, but it was advice I read on here:

Never lend out more than you can afford to give. Or treat everything you lend as a gift and its a bonus if you get it back.

LillethTheCat Thu 24-Jan-13 18:45:36

How do we go about getting this thread in classics? I love this thread and really needing to hear some of the advice. Would hate to see it disappear in time.

Or perhaps I should just make a note of the ones that have really struck a chord with me.

Thank you all for your words of wisdom.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Thu 24-Jan-13 18:51:57

Hit the "report" button on one of the posts and just say in the message, that goes to MNHQ, that you think they should consider moving it to Classics. Simples wink

OverlyYappyAlways Thu 24-Jan-13 18:58:21

You do not have to justify yourself to anyone (Womens Aid)

Men do not wake and feel horny they need a pee I am so naive I only learned this last year even though I have 2 sons who done the same from a few days old

Don't worry God pay his debts without money (Nan,Mum X 3 aunties)

ScarlettOoHara Thu 24-Jan-13 19:19:55

My mums marriage advice for me - 'Be nice to him!"
I'm still happily married after 15 years so it must work and I do try and be nice to him when I'm not feeling too grumpy.

MummyAnnabella Thu 24-Jan-13 19:29:05

Blowing put the other persons candle does not make yours burn any brighter

Empty vessels make the most noise

Children - all they need is love and your time

If you can't say anything nice do not say anything at all

MummyAnnabella Thu 24-Jan-13 19:31:33

You will never live this day again so make the most of it

smartieknickers Thu 24-Jan-13 19:47:38

People only worry about two things: things that have already happened or things they can't do anything about

apostropheuse Thu 24-Jan-13 19:49:13

From my mother: There's always someone worse off than yourself.

Also from my mother: There's nobody any better than anybody else.

From my granny: Never be scared to ask for something - nobody will slap you in the face for asking. They'll only say yes or no.

Also from my granny. Never talk about somebody else's misfortune. You never know what's round the corner for yourself.

Meglet Thu 24-Jan-13 20:03:17

From a 50-something lady in the gym watching me work out while 8mo pregnant.

"Stick at that, you'll never regret being fit before you have kids"'.

0blio Thu 24-Jan-13 20:05:19

Always do the right thing.

You can only feel good about yourself if you do.

Alaska77 Thu 24-Jan-13 20:14:00

Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No-one can tell the difference.

Flickstix Thu 24-Jan-13 20:24:04

There are so many of these to go through and they are all really wonderful, will have to keep coming back to this thread!

MaxiMummi Thu 24-Jan-13 20:33:24

You pay peanuts you get monkeys

from my dad - and he was right.

nilbyname Thu 24-Jan-13 20:45:39

Buy cheap, buy twice.

Be the change you want to see in the world. (paraphrasing Ghandi)

Love or perish (Tuesdays with Morrie)

Never run out of alcohol when you are hosting.

Manners cost nothing

Help the aged, you'll be old one day too. (Jarvis Cocker)

StuntNun Thu 24-Jan-13 20:51:16

You're better looking at it than looking for it.

Flickstix Thu 24-Jan-13 20:52:36

This is a funny one they say in Thailand 'Look with your eyes, not with your mouth'

Convert Thu 24-Jan-13 21:02:39

Don't stick your finger in a woodpecker's hole and keep your hand on your ha'penny. Thanks Dad.

Narrowboat Thu 24-Jan-13 21:06:11

Don't pick it up, don't put it down.

To mean; don't pick up someone else's compliments, but at the same time, don't be put down by someone else's insults.

StickleTick Thu 24-Jan-13 21:12:27

Hey, this is like one of those mostly 'b's, etc ... psychometric tests in a magazine. All you have to do is highlight, copy and paste just the bits of advice that ring true to yourself, or make you laugh out loud in sympathy, and the majority tone indicates your own personality.

I'm a nothing lasts forever, and things could be worse kind of girl.
It's great!

StickleTick Thu 24-Jan-13 21:29:34

Oh, ... and I'm beginning to see the truth in this one ...

Trust yourself. 48 hours spent mulling over any problem. It will be enough for you to know that you already have the answer within yourself. You just have to give yourself enough peace and quiet to listen out for it.

sajaruss Thu 24-Jan-13 21:38:02

Always keep your toilet clean - my mum

Everyone's got a degree in hindsight - FiL

Loughrigg Thu 24-Jan-13 21:45:32

Children are the most precious resource in the whole world, like tiny acorns they have the potential to be giant oak trees.

Flickstix Thu 24-Jan-13 21:50:17

Loughrigg - Oh wow, love that one!

timetosmile Thu 24-Jan-13 21:54:52

Leave it. Make a Cup of Tea and Sit Down. has been worth its weight in gold over the last 13 years of parenting.

'Don't poke a stick at a grumpy dog'

hystericalandnotinagoodway Thu 24-Jan-13 22:00:51

With reference to toddlers - if you don't have the energy and commitment to win the war, don't enter the battle.

Peka Thu 24-Jan-13 22:05:00

If it's right for you, you'll get it - my lovely mum

marriedinwhite Thu 24-Jan-13 22:06:51

My gran: Godliness before cleanliness (loving and grubby)
My mum: Cleanliness before Godliness (difficult and anal)

grin

LayMizzRarb Thu 24-Jan-13 22:11:08

Revenge is. Form of self harm

WMDinthekitchen Thu 24-Jan-13 22:19:00

Be self reliant. There will always be someone to help you.

wonderstuff Thu 24-Jan-13 22:22:25

Chinese? proverb - people often went to the wise man and complained of their troubles. One day the wiseman told everyone to put their troubles in a bag. He put all the bags in a pile and told the people they could pick any bag - everyone left with the one containing their own troubles. Moral being that when it comes down to it you wouldn't swop your problems for anyone elses.

You always have choices - remind yourself this often, all the choices may be unattractive, but you are generally doing the best you can.

Worrying is interest paid on things that haven't happened yet.

Everyone is responsible for their own happiness.

Take up opportunities - and remember kindness and helping others is an opportunity to make the world a better place.

Treat others with the kindness and respect you would like to be treated to.

CheCazzo Thu 24-Jan-13 22:28:48

Love this thread. And particularly love this.......

Wherever you go there you are - very clever, very wise

Fuchzia Thu 24-Jan-13 22:38:06

From my Gran's collection of 'motto' pottery
'Do not stain today's blue skys with tomorrows clouds'
'Give any man thy ear but few thy tongue'
And from MN re babies
'the days are long but the years are short'
I try to live my life with these in mind.

BlahBlahBlahhh Thu 24-Jan-13 22:56:52

Life's a journey, travel light.

BlahBlahBlahhh Thu 24-Jan-13 23:02:23

Oh, and Im sure this has already been said (only read first page of post), never leave on an argument. Patient of mine said this and it hit home after I had left for work after an argument with DH...it happened to her once and she never saw husband again. Tragically died after an accident.

MumKirby Fri 25-Jan-13 03:50:04

I love this one about depression. Very true

MumKirby Fri 25-Jan-13 03:54:25

This one is from my late Grandma

"Don't put it down, put it away."

If I listened and did this everyday, my house would be very tidy.

spiderbabymum Fri 25-Jan-13 04:01:03

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove any possible doubt .

Sam800 Fri 25-Jan-13 04:53:22

If it's meant to be, it will be....

Billiekins Fri 25-Jan-13 08:59:45

Just get on with it

Stop caring so much what other people think of you - especially strangers, makes life so much nicer and easier

Alaska77 Fri 25-Jan-13 09:48:04

Listen. Sometimes opportunity knocks very quietly.

Anngeree Fri 25-Jan-13 10:56:42

When your children misbehave and tell you they don't love you when you have to tell them off, reply by saying "that's a pity because I love you, it's your behaviour I don't like!" I was given that pearl of wisdom from a friends mum just after the birth of my son and I've used it many times it always diffuses the situation. smile

GinAndSlimlinePlease Fri 25-Jan-13 11:18:54

Treat your neighbour as you would like to be treated (my y3 teacher paraphrasing jesus).

So true

dubious74 Fri 25-Jan-13 11:45:51

My mum has always said - don't waste worry on every little thing - save it up and have a big worry when you really need to.

Alicadabra Fri 25-Jan-13 23:01:40

"It's not having what you want: it's wanting what you've got." (unexpected wisdom from a pop song - in this case, Sheryl Crow)

Ceasnake Fri 25-Jan-13 23:18:28

The best advice I'VE ever given:

To any prospective mother: learn to breastfeed lying down (and this is the ONLY advice I give in this situation).

To my 9 year old step-daughter: don't start smoking and learn the miracle of compound interest.

BoffinMum Sat 26-Jan-13 09:24:45

Also investment in bricks and mortar is about the only investment you can completely control yourself and which reliably and safely holds value over 30+ years, and through currency devaluation.

StuntNun Sat 26-Jan-13 12:37:20

I wish mine had Boffin, I've lost thousands between buying and selling my house. Should have just rented. hmm

MsHighwater Sat 26-Jan-13 12:39:18

"Don't practice till you can get it right. Practice until you can't get it wrong". Thanks, Mr Collins (piano teacher)

BoyMeetsWorld Sat 26-Jan-13 12:47:00

Always remember a child being naughty may be seeking more love / attention.

Take this perspective first before resorting to telling off. Children arent 'bad' for no reason

JuliaScurr Sat 26-Jan-13 12:47:11

do whatever it takes to get you through
do what you want; it will be fine
(childbirth and new baby)

BoyMeetsWorld Sat 26-Jan-13 12:47:59

Oh, and 'Give up the right to be right' ie don't argue just for the sake of proving your point

BethLa Mon 28-Jan-13 12:13:04

Don't buy the cow if you can get the milk for free.

Or meat in this case: befreebies.com/oscar-meyer-pulled-pork.php

TheFelicityFox Mon 28-Jan-13 12:36:28

It's none of your business what people think of you!

smellsofsick Mon 28-Jan-13 13:23:40

Keep swimming
Keep swimming
Keep swimming

MJP1 Mon 28-Jan-13 13:32:10

Treasure every day, you dont know when it will be taken away.

smellsofsick Mon 28-Jan-13 13:33:58

Oh and mine's dedicated to anyone coping with a newborn and toddler in less than easy circumstances. You can do it!

hackmum Mon 28-Jan-13 13:52:53

Some advice I've been given is good, but I've been incapable of taking it. For example, being told not to dwell on things too much or worry about things that will never happen is fine advice, but if you're the sort of person who dwells or worries, knowing that you shouldn't isn't going to stop you.

There is one piece of advice I remember from Feel the Fear that I try to follow, and which I've also passed onto DD, which is, if work (or any situation) is making you unhappy, behave as if you enjoy it, and then it's more likely that you will enjoy it. As a result I try to approach even dull pieces of work with the enthusiasm that I bring to interesting pieces of work, on the basis that if I treat it as if it's interesting, then it will become interesting. (It's difficult to explain this well, but in the book she gives an example of a woman with a job she hates, and she starts treating it as if she loves it, bringing in fresh flowers for her desk and making cheerful conversation with her colleagues, and it helps her enjoy the job more.)

freedom2011 Mon 28-Jan-13 13:53:49

- save a bit, spend a bit
- waste not, want no
- not all truths should be said
- never leave a room empty handed
- eat less, exercise more
- talk less, listen more

Don't eat yellow snow smile

BaconAndAvocado Mon 28-Jan-13 14:00:42

Don't sweat the small stuff.

Count your blessings.

The toddler years do eventually pass.

And never, ever dunk a rich tea biscuit for longer than 2 seconds grin

hackmum Mon 28-Jan-13 14:00:52

There was one I read in a Guardian article about marriage counselling that stayed with me: Remember, the other person doesn't think they're wrong.

It's funny because it's incredibly simple and obvious, yet a lot of time in an argument you imagine the other person is being difficult purely to annoy you. If you realise that in their mind their position is completely legitimate, but that you are deliberately being difficult, it does actually help.

I think "seize the moment" is good - making the most of opportunities when you see them makes a difference IMHO

BaconAndAvocado Mon 28-Jan-13 14:19:23

Life is 10% what happens and 90% how you react to it.

plonko Mon 28-Jan-13 14:20:57

"Don't pick it"

And

"Always wear matching underwear"

Courtesy of DMum.

thesnootyfox Mon 28-Jan-13 14:26:06

The person who smiles and always asks how you are is the person who will stab you in the back.

sundaesundae Mon 28-Jan-13 14:26:31

Those that matter don't mind, those that mind don't matter.

SomeBear Mon 28-Jan-13 14:48:31

"Only you can make you happy"

"Just because I'm not doing it your way, I'm not necessarily doing it wrong" (said frequently by DH regarding childcare/housework. It is true)

and, possibly most importantly
"If it's not making you happy, make it change".

I'm still a miserable, critical old bag though!

blibblibs Mon 28-Jan-13 14:50:16

Whats for you won't go by you

If in doubt, don't

Expect nothing and you'll never be disappointed

frankie4 Mon 28-Jan-13 16:10:22

Life is what is happening while you are busy making other plans.

SamraLee Mon 28-Jan-13 16:25:51

Listen to everyone's advice, but decide for youself what you want to do.

specialsubject Mon 28-Jan-13 16:26:16

teach your hobby.

5inabed Mon 28-Jan-13 16:31:01

"Better to be late in this life, than early in the next" said to me by an old lady when I was about 16 and running for the bus and nearly got squashed by a car.

gallivantsaregood Mon 28-Jan-13 16:32:29

People can only make you feel bad if you let them

DizzyHoneyBee Mon 28-Jan-13 16:33:42

If you can't decide whether or not buy it then you probably don't want it.

ScarlettInSpace Mon 28-Jan-13 16:33:52

Don't let the bastards grind you down.

sayanything Mon 28-Jan-13 17:25:31

If he did it once, he'll do it again, whatever "it" is - from my mum.

People treat you the way you let them.

WMDinthekitchen Mon 28-Jan-13 17:28:43

If you can't fight, wear a big hat (a favourite of my mother's)

pookamoo Mon 28-Jan-13 17:32:47

Treasure what you have

ErrorError Mon 28-Jan-13 17:38:17

Only heard of this one recently but it's given me a lot of self-confidence:

"Dress every day like you're about to bump into the love of your life."

Also, from my dear late Nan:

"Never miss an opportunity." (She was actually referring to going for a pee at service stations during a long journey, but it still applies to the rest of life! I considered getting this phrase tattooed onto my lower back until I realised how it might look to others should I happen to be bending over in jeans picking up a pencil or whatever! grin )

SingingSands Mon 28-Jan-13 17:57:38

From Ferris Bueller: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." smile I have always loved this.

And from DH: "Never get into an argument - nobody wins". True!

LimelightsontheChristmastree Mon 28-Jan-13 18:01:20

That there's a point in everyone's life when you have to make the decision to stand up and be counted.

SoSweetAndSoCold Mon 28-Jan-13 18:21:06

From my CBT therapist - if you find yourself overthinking something that is making you feel unhappy / anxious etc, ask yourself 'Is this thought useful?.

It really helps me get out of repetitive, negative thinking. sometimes

amazingmumof6 Mon 28-Jan-13 18:33:31

Do. Or do not. There is no try.

BalloonSlayer Mon 28-Jan-13 18:38:21

- if you feel discontented with your job, try doing it better (I got that one from City Slickers and it actually does work, it's almost the same as Hackmum's advice)

- if you are collecting a takeaway curry in the car, don't put it on the seat, put it on the floor

- if you are under 30, take it from me, you are GORGEOUS. You will agree with me in 15 years time when you look back on your photos

amazingmumof6 Mon 28-Jan-13 18:42:56

errorerror - funny you should mention that, I was advised that once!

Then this happened : I was about to go out once with some friends and some people they knew (but I didn't) and was thinking should bother with lipstick or not.
But I just couldn't be bothered, I thought it's not like I'm going to meet the love of my life....but I did!!!!!
despite no lipstick, we've been together for 15 years! (married for 12)

peacefuleasyfeeling Mon 28-Jan-13 18:49:51

"No, you'll never 'learn to live with it'."
Whatever it is, it'll keep pissing you off / grating at you / upsetting you years down the line in the same way that it does now, so just get out / do something about it now.

UnrequitedSkink Mon 28-Jan-13 18:54:10

'Don't put it down, put it away' - I read that on here about two weeks ago and it has become my mantra because it actually bloody works. Now all I have to do is get DH, DS1 & DS2 to follow it, and our house might start to become effortlessly tidy.

My favourite and oft-repeated one to DS1 (who tends to be rather defeatist) is
'If you think you can do a thing, or you think you can't, you're probably right'.

UnrequitedSkink Mon 28-Jan-13 18:55:02

Also - SingingSands - total aside but are you from the Bruce by any chance?!

piebald Mon 28-Jan-13 19:01:01

In regards to childrearing -just remember, everything is just a phase

ToomuchWaternotWine Mon 28-Jan-13 19:03:02

If you find a job doing something you love, it won't feel like work.

What's for ye won't go by ye.

Bend, don't break.

doineedanymoreshoes Mon 28-Jan-13 19:17:25

It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice

fufulina Mon 28-Jan-13 19:27:06

Things always look worse when you're tired. Got to bed, have a good sleep and things will always look better in the morning. From my mum. She was always right about that when I was growing up.

HardlyEverHoovers Mon 28-Jan-13 19:34:50

'ride a white swan'...understood the meaning of this when I used gas and air.

'live on a carpet of trust'...advice given to me and hubby by a lovely man when we had just been married a few weeks.

BlahBlahBlahhh Mon 28-Jan-13 19:37:02

"Eat when you're hungry, stop when you're full" ...best diet advice ever !

orangetickle Mon 28-Jan-13 19:39:39

Once you leave school you'll never have to see those spoilt bitches other girls ever again, so try to ignore them when they spend all of Monday morning showing off the expensive clothes Daddy bought them to hide the fact he's never actually around.

LimelightsontheChristmastree Mon 28-Jan-13 19:47:21

Two more!

The mantra of every parent I think - pick your battles.

And advice for brunettes from my (slightly dotty) Grandma - if you eat brown eggs, you'll keep your brown hair. It didn't work obviously.

Mollydoggerson Mon 28-Jan-13 19:49:11

don't judge, just support.

amazingmumof6 Mon 28-Jan-13 19:51:47

what doesn't kill you makes you stronger

I never understood the one about wearing clean underwear just in case you got hit by a bus!
If I did get hit by a bus I'd probably shit myself (or would be in a coma or whatever) so what difference would clean underwear do?

do paramedics routinely say: "don't bother with assessing the situation or a recovery position or stop the bleeding, first of all we must check how clean her knickers are!"

EnjoyResponsibly Mon 28-Jan-13 20:04:55

You can't polish a turd.

MarathonMama Mon 28-Jan-13 20:06:36

Worrying is wasted energy

cmulvenna Mon 28-Jan-13 20:14:51

1 - take no shit. 2 - Everything is a phase. If it's a good phase, enjoy it; if it's a bad phase, remember it will end.

Assajjventress Mon 28-Jan-13 20:16:57

Always carry papers/file when walking around skiving/chatting to colleagues at work it makes you look busy. Has always served me well.

twentythirteen Mon 28-Jan-13 20:27:31

Live within your means (I don't even have a credit card!), thanks grandpa!

Choose your battles, i.e. your voice loses weight if you shout about everything, choose what is really important. Thanks Dad!

Always have a job and your own bank account. Thanks Mom!

FeeFiFoMum Mon 28-Jan-13 20:45:41

Feed the good wolf.

Fro this story:

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

BaconAndAvocado Mon 28-Jan-13 20:51:27

feefi that is just plain superb and so so wise smile

girliefriend Mon 28-Jan-13 20:58:07

Blimey that is deep feefi! Love it.

Do what feels right and trust your instincts is good advice.

Still waters run deep (not sure if that is advice or a proverb!)

From a wise older work colleague; 'When you are juggling so many balls, you WILL drop one occasionally. Accept it and then move on.'

From my mum: 'Expect your children to behave like children not mini adults'. Has served me well when my expectations of behaviour have in the past been too high.

My mum is also fond of 'walk a mile in their shoes, until you have you can't judge them.'

redrubyshoes Mon 28-Jan-13 21:00:26

If you hate your job that much then leave it. Don't drag your colleagues down because YOU are miserable.

In the vein of if you can't afford it then don't have it my Dad put it this way and I saw it in action.

I was about 8 years old.

"Sweetheart, when you grow up and get married, if you have no money sit on orange boxes until you have saved up for a chair. When you have a chair share the chair and the orange box with your husband and take turns on the orange box. When you invite friends round and they sit on the chair or the orange box or the floor and then come back................they are friends. If they sneer at the floor and the orange box then they are not friends"

I had first hand experience at this when I was a poor and newly married student. One 'friend' sneered and refused to sit down or eat. The ones that sat down on the floor/orange box are still my friends today grin and I don't give a monkey's chuff what she is doing today!

girliefriend Mon 28-Jan-13 21:01:19

Just thought of another one!!

Its the grit that makes the pearl

Said by my dad in response to me pulling my hair out at my then toddler dd having the most extreme of meltdowns - that became a mantra!!

girliefriend Mon 28-Jan-13 21:06:48

feeling bitter is like drinking poison but expecting someone else to die (may have got that slightly wrong but you get my drift) that came from the wise oracle that is Peter Andre!!

kitbit Mon 28-Jan-13 22:04:03

Don't look backwards, it's not the way you're heading.

Pick your battles.

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

...and be nice to everyone on the way up cos you don't know who you'll meet on the way down. That one's been solid gold and has actually gotme a job twice grin

MrsKwazii Mon 28-Jan-13 22:07:11

Never go to bed on an argument

If it's not on, it's not on - my Dad's one and only discussion with me about sex and contraception grin

And to add to an earlier post, you may not be able to polish a turd but you can roll it in glitter

lucysmam Mon 28-Jan-13 22:12:54

don't put the baby in your bed. We didn't & I'm so glad now listening to some of my younger friends who had kids after us moaning that they can't get whichever child to sleep in their own bed all night

"I'm a mother myself", said the sow as she sat on the eggs" (Saki).
Just because someone apparently has experience in a particular area doesn't mean their advice will be right for the situation you're in. Helps me remember to trust common sense too!

ScramblyEgg Mon 28-Jan-13 22:34:13

Try again. Fail again. Fail better. (Samuel Beckett)

It gets better. (my mum)

Disappearing Mon 28-Jan-13 22:52:37

Perception is reality

and

When in conversation with someone, if you're running out of things to say, just keep turning the conversation back onto the other person, e.g. ask them questions about themselves. Most people love to talk about themselves, and probably won't even notice you're saying nothing much.

encyclogirl Mon 28-Jan-13 22:56:06

This too will pass.

foolonthehill Mon 28-Jan-13 23:13:44

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
&#8213; Maya Angelou

racingheart Tue 29-Jan-13 00:13:53

behaviour never lies.
That one really sorts out the men from the goats.

Pessimism is not more realistic than optimism

williaminajetfighter Tue 29-Jan-13 06:56:07

All these are brilliant.

Best advice from my dad: '1/3 of people you meet will really like you, 1/3 will be indifferent and 1/3 may not like you. Accept that because you can't win everyone over and will never be able to please everybody'. I found that really useful when I was trying to make friends at Uni or deal with colleagues; women want to please everybody and often want everyone to like them and it's just not possible. The fact that he showed it was not even statistically possible made it feel less personal!

Also from my dad: 'Making the life you want takes work.' I was complaining to him about struggles of moving, taking a new job etc. And he reminded me that sometimes its easier to stagnate, to stay in your home time and stay in the same job and not try something new. Doing so takes work - but is worth the reward.

Don't look backward, always forward. The toughest one to follow.

amazingmumof6 Tue 29-Jan-13 09:11:27

you can decide to forgive any one, any time! they don't have to say "sorry" for you to do so

beig bitter/angry is a waste of time and energy

sickofsocalledexperts Tue 29-Jan-13 09:18:05

I am very fond of a Miss Marple saying , when in doubt about what's going on or what people really mean: "look at what has actually happened"

Ie ignore the noise, words, drama and look at only what has physically happened.

hopenglory Tue 29-Jan-13 09:26:26

Choose your attitude every morning when you choose your clothes

AWhistlingWoman Tue 29-Jan-13 09:32:42

If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Don't go and fetch the baboons out from behind the hills, they will come anyway.

The past is history. The future is mystery. There is only one place to live and that is now.

amazingmumof6 Tue 29-Jan-13 10:41:00

awhistling - does the baboon one means don't go looking for trouble?

madgered Tue 29-Jan-13 11:32:10

Be careful what you wish for. So true.

If your husband is being unfaithful and you want him back - Don't rise to it, do nothing, disengage and become a mystery woman.

What goes around, comes around. Also true.

Kiwiinkits Tue 29-Jan-13 11:41:16

The front page test: Don't do anything you wouldn't want in a report on the front page of the paper.

If its to be, it's to be me (if I want t, I should do it myself)

Always have something to challenge you and something to look forward to

Assets earn you money (cars and TVs are not assets, they never generate income)

Growlithe Tue 29-Jan-13 11:47:32

Accept it, deal with it, move on.

BadMissM Tue 29-Jan-13 11:58:38

Don't Panic - Douglas Adams

The older I get, the truer it gets....

amazingmumof6 Tue 29-Jan-13 13:07:33

badmissm - but make sure you have a towel and a translator fish!!!

And another pearl of wisdom: Go with your gut! Intuition has our best interest at heart.
this is so very true and especially helpful for things like kids' illnesses or recognizing a potentially dangerous situation.

MamaBear17 Tue 29-Jan-13 13:09:58

Trust your own instincts.

AWhistlingWoman Tue 29-Jan-13 13:45:11

amazing I think it is the South African equivalent or never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you - with a 'brace yourself 'cause it's coming anyway' kinda twist! One of my mother's favourites!

Measure twice, cut once. Thanks Dad! smile

ProphetOfDoom Tue 29-Jan-13 14:24:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hobbitation Tue 29-Jan-13 14:31:30

Off the top of my head, from a friend proferring a tube of Kamilosan. "Put this on after every feed, don't wait until your nipples get sore to use it".

Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do - Dr Spock (I think).

Mirage Tue 29-Jan-13 14:32:50

Don't ever use 'being female' as an excuse not to do something.Told to me by my dad when he showed me how to change a tyre for the first time.Probably not as relevant now,but in the 1980's when he told me,it was.

Hobbitation Tue 29-Jan-13 14:34:02

Also: The more people have studied different methods of bringing up children the more they have come to the conclusion that what good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is the best after all. All parents do their best job when they have a natural, easy confidence in themselves. Better to make a few mistakes from being natural than to try to do everything letter-perfect out of a feeling of worry.

sarahtigh Tue 29-Jan-13 14:40:41

"live within your means if you can't afford it don't buy it!"

my mother on repeating gossip must pass 3 sieves a) is it true? b) is it necessary and c) is it kind?

" also whatsoever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them" from sermon on the mount

woozlebear Tue 29-Jan-13 15:17:10

You are responsible for your own happiness (not sure if anyone's ever actually said this to me, but I've learned it from watching my mother do the exact opposite her whole life).

Would it still be ok if everyone did it?

Do as you would be done by.

Sleep on it.

Never do tomorrow what can be done today.

Never part on a quarrel.

Don't complain about something you can change - change it.

Don't do anything you wouldn't want everyone to know about.

LadyMaryCrawley Tue 29-Jan-13 16:14:45

Never No, always go back for your handbag!

Fenton Tue 29-Jan-13 16:18:54

Don't lick the vertical pole on the ski chair lift to see how cold it is.

plipplops Tue 29-Jan-13 16:22:30

"If it won't ruin your life, don't let it ruin your day"

and (regarding bereavement)

"You don't get over it but you do get used to it" (actually nobody told me that, it's one I discovered myself after suddenly losing DDad but I think it's really true and wanted to share...)

ZebsMummy Tue 29-Jan-13 16:29:41

Never get used to anything you love - it blunts the edge of appreciation

Today comes only once, and never again returns

anklebitersmum Tue 29-Jan-13 16:31:03

'Whatever you do today remember you have to look in the mirror tomorrow.' my Mum

'Popular is because popular does' my Dad when I whinged about no boyfriends at 14.

both good advice grin

sarahangel778 Tue 29-Jan-13 16:51:24

Smile and the world will smile with you

I like your first one there plipplops about don't let it ruin your day smile

Almostalwayshappy Tue 29-Jan-13 17:42:43

'You are sympathetic and re-assuring to your teenagers about their spots and smelliness and all the other changes their bodies are going through. Try to be sympathetic and re-assuring when they are moody or mouthy. It's not personal, just another symptom of their hormones affecting them.'

A wise friend with older children told me this. It's easier said than done, but has helped me keep things in perspective when my DDs are doing the eye-rolling, grunted answer thing. Once that kind of attitude would have incensed me. Now I try to take a deep breath and refuse to rise to it (most of the time). It saves a huge amount of drama.

WhenDidAllThesePetsAppear Tue 29-Jan-13 18:19:29

Failing to prepare is preparing to fail.
Measure twice - cut once.
Do not under any circumstance disrespect your friends or family on Facebook.
Do not leave personal photos on your laptop when you sell it to a family member blush (I bought the said laptop from my sister in law shock)

VirtualAssistant2011 Tue 29-Jan-13 18:21:34

If you can say yes to the three following things you are doing a great job as a Mum:

1. Your children are alive.
2. Your children are safe from danger.
3. Your children have been fed and watered.

Good advice to remember if you are going through a patch when you are worried you are not doing any arts and crafts, too much tv time etc...

I completely understand where you're coming from VA - and know how hard it is to keep perspective in this parenting business, but sadly there are many good Mums who cannot say number 1 on your list - including many lovely MNers.
So I just had to write this thinking of them x

Nat38 Tue 29-Jan-13 19:42:18

Marry for money, have love on the side!shockwinkgrin

Whistleforit Tue 29-Jan-13 20:11:07

'Don't sit on the baby's head' from midwife.

VirtualAssistant2011 Tue 29-Jan-13 20:13:43

Yes I hope that did not offend anyone, I did not mean it in the sense of miscarriage or loss of a child. I just meant that you are managing to keep the children in your care alive, sorry if I offended anyone sad

amazingmumof6 Tue 29-Jan-13 20:19:36

if you are given - accept it, if you are beaten - run away!

I tried to write my post gently as I don't want to upset you either VA.

And of course it's always good when you get to the end of the day and everyone is safely tucked up in bed - just so long as you/I remember that that really is something to be thankful for/ glad about, and never something to take for granted.

Sorry if it's a bit heavy. I am enjoying the thread a lot. Much wisdom to be found here smile Love to all x

cuppateaanyone Tue 29-Jan-13 20:34:11

You don't know what you don't know

ohnoherewego Tue 29-Jan-13 21:00:36

You shouldn't marry for money but marry where money is; DM!

marriedinwhite Tue 29-Jan-13 21:00:46

Didn't offend me virtual but thanks *Juggling*. You alright cup [hugs] to all.

So wise, kind, and generous as always cup
Much love x

yummymummy345 Tue 29-Jan-13 21:10:22

Mums are always right!

Never admit your negative faults to anyone (thinking looks here)

Never trust a short bald man

yummymummy345 Tue 29-Jan-13 21:11:41

Organisation leads to efficiency

MrsPnut Tue 29-Jan-13 21:28:11

Don't ever make a promise you can't keep and don't ever make a threat you won't carry out.

That way everybody knows where they stand. My kids know if I tell them that they will miss * if they do it again, then I mean they will miss it.

TheLovingParent Tue 29-Jan-13 21:32:45

Never take advice at face value. Be grateful for it, then follow what your heart says. (Especially with regards parenting.)

Kerry197 Tue 29-Jan-13 21:36:53

'Every time you're tempted to say something rude, unkind, or take part in gossip - imagine the person you most respect/love/care about in the whole world is secretly watching you....'

LongStory Tue 29-Jan-13 21:38:08

Choose your battles

bickie Tue 29-Jan-13 22:02:20

Mum's marriage advice - don't worry about who's got the better deal . Ie who got to sleep in more, got the best bits of the paper. Etc. sort of odd but it works.

bickie Tue 29-Jan-13 22:03:14

If he's cheating with you, he'll cheat on you.

nenehooo Tue 29-Jan-13 22:18:45

Never date an actor or a bartender.

Don't doubt yourself.

Happy Mummy, happy baby.

MorrisZapp Tue 29-Jan-13 22:33:13

Planning and preparation prevents piss poor performance

Your first marriage doesn't have to last long

Yoghurty Tue 29-Jan-13 22:39:15

It is better to walk alone than be badly accompanied.

Banish it to the light.
(a very motivational manager used to say this about the things we could not change)

You can't be responsible for what other people do, you can only be responsible for what you do.

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.

Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor.

totallyfrazzled Tue 29-Jan-13 23:03:24

It's better to be late in this world, than early in the next.

Ie don't drive too fast!

anonymosity Wed 30-Jan-13 03:11:47

Take a step back / sleep on it.

dappleton Wed 30-Jan-13 09:16:55

love this thread, very motivational.

One from MN: 'tell people they can visit you any time, but if they want to visit your house then make an appointment' makes me feel better about my less than domestic-goddess ways!
'Nothing tastes as good as thin feels' - i know its controversial but it always reminds me that 1 chocolate is probably enough and eating the whole box is unnecessary.
'live with no regrets' good confidence boost when about to do anything scary
'realise the value of money' good for ensuring money isn't wasted on trivial stuff I don't need.

I love the one on here about raising children 'make sure their world is a good place' - will remember that.

I heard another version of that Morris ...

Proper Prior Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance !

You get more P's in that way !

Anniegetyourgun Wed 30-Jan-13 09:35:44

From a mad teacher in 6th form: If you make yourself into a doormat, people will wipe their feet on you.

From everyone else in 6th form: If you can't be good, be careful. And if you can't be careful, remember the date.

From my old WoW guild: Don't stand in the fire! (I always did.)

notcitrus Wed 30-Jan-13 09:37:53

Everyone has faults. Ensure you know what someone's are and you can live with them before moving in with them, as you can't change them. Goes double if you are going to have children.

Biology teacher: if you're only using one method of contraception, you aren't using reliable contraception.

Advice from magazine on same teacher's wall: anyone who says "if you loved me, you'd... [have sex, whatever]" is a) wrong and b) probably doesn't love you.

UngratefulWitch Wed 30-Jan-13 10:12:51

1) It's OK to hate your DH sometimes

2) All men make cabbagey smells

amazingmumof6 Wed 30-Jan-13 11:36:54

MrsPnut and that's why I always tell my kids, " I plan things, not promise them, because plans can/will change, but promises must be kept. The only thing I promise is that I will always love you! the rest - we'll see.."

Do not cast your pearl before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces. (Matthew 7:6)

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Wed 30-Jan-13 11:41:18

"Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em"

A gem from Mr Kenny Logan

i.e. know when to persist and when to cut your losses

funnyperson Wed 30-Jan-13 12:08:03

-do as you would be done by
-to win by a nose you have to stick your neck out
-seize the day
-see no evil say no evil hear no evil
-children are like rosebuds, they haven't flowered yet and need nurturing
-know thy enemy

theressomethingaboutmarie Wed 30-Jan-13 12:10:30

You can't light the world but you can light a candle. Said to me by my lovely GP when I was in the throes of depression.

inthewildernessbuild Wed 30-Jan-13 12:31:43

Children prefer quantity to quality. Especially when it comes to time. Ths was told to me byone of myuncles whose kids are all grownup now.

'Spend less time working on your appearance, and more time on your personality - looks fade, but your personality is with you forever. Be loved for the person you are, not what you look like.'

From a book I read as a shallow, bullied, looks-obsessed teenager.

FlickSticks Wed 30-Jan-13 14:31:46

Actions speak louder than words, this has come in very useful!

amazingmumof6 Mon 04-Feb-13 09:42:19

what goes around comes around

We have dust protection respirator helmets that draw breathing air from behind you and filter it.
The advice I was given was "Don't fart while you're wearing it".

Also if your DB asks you to pull his finger, don't. For the same reason.

amazingmumof6 Fri 08-Feb-13 13:17:10

some days are rocks, some days are diamonds

you know you'll have a crap day when the bird singing outside your window is a vulture

neriberi Fri 08-Feb-13 13:23:53

In RL, my friend who's a HV told me when I got pregnant to ignore what everyone tells me especially other parents, just smile nicely say thank you and then do what feels right for me.

I've also been told that if I don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all...

Never date a man who takes longer to get ready in the bathroom mirror than you do...

acceptableinthe80s Fri 08-Feb-13 13:28:59

People can take you as you are or not at all.
My mum said that to me right before a date I was getting really nervous about.
It's stayed with me and helps me to remember to stay true to myself.

amazingmumof6 Fri 08-Feb-13 14:39:39

always polish your shoes the night before

nip it in the bud

failing to prepare is preparing to fail

better to be safe than sorry

keep your eyes wide open before you get married, you'll have to shut one after

always say you are sorry, even if you are not ready to forgive (just by saying it you'll be one step closer to forgive)

let sleeping dogs - and BABIES - lie!

keep what's precious high up, out of sight - nobody ever looks up

Kione Sun 10-Feb-13 20:52:42

There where you go, do as you see

By grandad and uncle, being from another country and talking about cultural differences. I think if everyone followed this advice it would be a lot less trouble everywhere.
I always stick to it.

Ladame Mon 25-Feb-13 13:10:49

People that worry about being good parents - are good parents.

"Sometimes you just have to jump off and build your wings on the way down." (my dad).

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