What have I done?! Come and save my Bolognese!

(176 Posts)
youmaycallmeSSP Fri 18-Jan-13 20:13:01

I'm making tagliatelle spaghetti Bolognese. I used a mix of 400ml red grape juice and 100ml red wine vinegar as a substitute for red wine. It's been simmering for an hour and the smell is foul and the taste is, erm, vinegary. I've been chucking sugar into it but it doesn't seem to be making much difference. Can it be saved? I was thinking of reducing it right down and then boiling off milk through it before adding more tomato purée but I don't want to keep adding things if it's completely hopeless. What do I do?!

Annunziata Italy Fri 18-Jan-13 20:15:55

Oh. Erm. I'm not sure to be honest. Think the game might be bogey with that one.

You've killed it lovey.
Strain it and make some gravy with gravy granules or stock cubes, and add that and see what happens, but I have a feeling it will still be pretty foul.

IamtheZombie Fri 18-Jan-13 20:18:10

Time for a take away.

youmaycallmeSSP Fri 18-Jan-13 20:20:08

sad

I bought all the poncey ingredients for it. Just not red wine. The fumes might cure my cough though!

magimedi88 Fri 18-Jan-13 20:20:31

Sorry to say that your subs just won't work.

I'm in the 'Time for a take away. ' camp & ditch the bolognese.

We've all had meal failures. Shit happens.

Grape juice and red wine vinegar? shock

And you planned to willingly eat this?!

SunbathingintheRain Fri 18-Jan-13 20:21:55

Oh dear poor you. Have you got garlic, olive oil, maybe some chilli and Parmesan you can serve with the pasta instead?

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Fri 18-Jan-13 20:22:21

The bolognaise is dead, long live the takeaway.

I don't think there is any hope, 100ml of vinegar is a lot of vinegar to burn off.

showtunesgirl Fri 18-Jan-13 20:22:45

Oh dear. Definitely takeaway time. sad

BikeRunSki Brazil Fri 18-Jan-13 20:23:26

a tsp of bicarb will take away the acidity of the vinegar.

thegreylady Fri 18-Jan-13 20:26:06

Ditch it. Spag bog is fine without wine but vinegar will have destroyed it.

UrsulaBuffay Fri 18-Jan-13 20:26:14

The milk idea is the worst order a curry!

NoelHeadbands Fri 18-Jan-13 20:27:56

I dunno...Schloer, vinegar and milk.... I think they sell those in our local Wetherspoons

Next time you realise you've not got any red wine, don't try to improvise some. You can actually make bolognese without it. It'll still taste fine.

I hope you've ordered a take away.

CharlieSilver Fri 18-Jan-13 20:36:21

" I used a mix of 400ml red grape juice and 100ml red wine vinegar as a substitute for red wine" did you see that sub in a cook book or did you think it up?!

Bin it :/

youmaycallmeSSP Fri 18-Jan-13 20:36:47

grin I always knew I could rely on MN to make me feel better...

Ok, this isn't tonight's meal (I'm batch cooking on a Friday night hmm) so I might as well entertain myself with the bicarb.I have drained off and rinsed out as much of the sauce as I can and have added some bicarb and milk. I'll reduce that, add in tomato purée and an Oxo cube and see what happens...

youmaycallmeSSP Fri 18-Jan-13 20:37:37

I Googled it as a substitute. Maybe I could sue someone grin

Annunziata Italy Fri 18-Jan-13 20:38:09

Seeing as you're experimenting, throw in a square of dark chocolate. It can take away the acid in the tomato, might work for the vinegar.

PeachActiviaMinge Fri 18-Jan-13 20:38:32

It was these fuckers that made you do it wasn't it? shock grin Just googled Red wine substitute and came across it.

"After all, red wine is just fermented and soured grape juice...."

HappyAsASandboy Fri 18-Jan-13 20:40:02

Milk?! Why would milk help?!

KerryKetosis Fri 18-Jan-13 20:41:31

oh mate grin

and wtf - milk and bicarb?? shock

Get thee to the chippy!

for future reference, you can make bolly without the wine.

It's nicer with, but fine without.

KerryKetosis Fri 18-Jan-13 20:42:21

"After all, red wine is just fermented and soured grape juice...."

Ha! I think those fuckers are the wine suppliers in my local grin

Mominatrix Fri 18-Jan-13 20:42:48

Sorry, I think it is beyond redemption.

Annunziata Italy Fri 18-Jan-13 20:42:51

Milk's supposed to bring out the meat, I don't believe it, my nonna said it was rubbish.

youmaycallmeSSP Fri 18-Jan-13 20:44:23

Milk is mellow? It seemed like a good idea, it can hardly make it worse and milk is a good ingredient in bolognese anyway.

I've just had a quick taste and it's marginally better with the milk and baking powder.

Do you think the folks on that page have very little experience of drinking red wine. Sure, it's fermented grape juice but it only tastes of vinegar if you let the opened bottle fester in you cupboard instead of drinking it like sensible people do. Honestly!

I can only imagine that the milk will go horribly wrong. You may has well chuck in some chocolate. Or, and this is what I suggest you do, you could abandon the bolognese and eat the whole bar of chocolate instead.

Grange Fri 18-Jan-13 20:46:17

I used to make bolognaise in the oven - receipe from that Fay actress (used to be in cold feet) anyway, that had milk added at the end and the kids adored it.
In this instance though - no help.

I made bolognaise sauce last week using a recipe for the slow cooker and it had 100ml of milk in it.

Instead of red wine I added a litle extra stock and a glug of worcester (sp) sauce.

HoneyDragon Fri 18-Jan-13 20:47:40

I've been known to use rw vinegar as a wine sub. But just a dash with some tomato purée

squoosh Fri 18-Jan-13 20:49:33

Grape juice and red wine vinegar as a substitute for red wine? WTF!!!

Firstly it's white wine in rag, not red. If you don't want to use wine, just leave it out don't try and be 'creative' with substitutes.

Also, milk is an ingredient in a traditional bolognese

HappyAsASandboy Fri 18-Jan-13 20:49:41

I stand corrected on the milk smile

You learn something every day!

Annunziata Italy Fri 18-Jan-13 20:51:00

Proper bolognese doesn't have tomato though, so six and half a dozen smile

youmaycallmeSSP Fri 18-Jan-13 20:53:03

Now it taste fizzy. Oh dear

squoosh Fri 18-Jan-13 20:55:08

ADMIT DEFEAT WOMAN! grin

Slubberdegullion Fri 18-Jan-13 20:55:42

Op you are cracking me up.

Add something else to take away the fizz, I have read peanut butter helps with this.

youmaycallmeSSP Fri 18-Jan-13 20:56:18

Won't.

Slubberdegullion Fri 18-Jan-13 20:56:35

NO NO, don't stop. Keep going, keep pushing the bolognese boundaries.

MrsHoarder Fri 18-Jan-13 20:57:39

I'm crying with laughter here. Maybe try washing the mince and onion and try again if they aren't well picked by now

Slubberdegullion Fri 18-Jan-13 20:57:59

Gwan.

Tarragon is also a v underrated herb.

Annunziata Italy Fri 18-Jan-13 20:58:19

Fizzy?! Get it out your pot now grin

MrsHoarder Fri 18-Jan-13 20:58:43

Start stupid lemonade being fizzy. Maybe a tablespoonful will flatten your sauce?

squoosh Fri 18-Jan-13 20:58:53

What about Deep Heat? It will lend a certain piquancy.

youmaycallmeSSP Fri 18-Jan-13 20:59:35

I already rinsed it about 15 times. I know it's stupid to keep going but honestly, this was supposed to be doing 2 meals and a freezer bag and it's cost a fortune.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 18-Jan-13 21:00:31

Coca cola! Works for Nigella in a completely different dish

Slubberdegullion Fri 18-Jan-13 21:00:45

Yy deep heat would be an exciting addition.

As would be lime jelly.

CharlieSilver Fri 18-Jan-13 21:01:03

bin bin bin OP before it explodes grin

Annunziata Italy Fri 18-Jan-13 21:01:47

That's rotten honey. It shouldn't cost you a fortune, though, what's your recipe?

Trazzletoes Bosnia-Herzegovina Fri 18-Jan-13 21:02:20

Milk is yum in bolognaise!

OP, I REALLY think you need to admit defeat with this one!

KerryKetosis Fri 18-Jan-13 21:02:37

let it go luv, let it go... sad

bedmonster Fri 18-Jan-13 21:03:23

OP i've heard using a ladleful of honey and just a tiny dash of vanilla will make a lovely ragu...

bedmonster Fri 18-Jan-13 21:04:03

Orrrrrrrr, a big pinch of juniper berries and a small spoon of paprika...

bedmonster Fri 18-Jan-13 21:04:54

And while you're at it, make sure you throw in a cube of goats cheese. That'll rescue it no bother. wink
Or boursin?

KerryKetosis Fri 18-Jan-13 21:05:07

yy to red wine vinger in bolly, but more like 15mls than 100mls!

It's not so much the milk on its own; it's more the milk added to grape juice and vinegar that couldn't possibly end well.

KerryKetosis Fri 18-Jan-13 21:07:32

got any pineapple OP? wink

MrsHoarder Fri 18-Jan-13 21:08:09

Did you add some sugar?

Annunziata Italy Fri 18-Jan-13 21:09:12

You lot behave grin

butterfingerz Fri 18-Jan-13 21:10:23

I add a dash of balsamic, cos its Italian like, to my spag bol, not 100mls, that's some crazy shit.

You know what's a killer ingredient in spag vol though? if you can get hold of a jar of tapenade, add a dollop of that, will turn your spagbol into the dogs bizzle!

youmaycallmeSSP Fri 18-Jan-13 21:10:45

Thanks for the suggestions, they've made me laugh if nothing else.

The concoction is bubbling away with a couple of Oxo cubes, a dash of Lea & Perrins, baking powder (probably why it's fizzy, I couldn't find the bicarb), tomato purée and milk...

Slubberdegullion Fri 18-Jan-13 21:10:48

Wash it again, but this time with a tbsp of vanish oxi action (pink not white tub) and then start again.

Mirepoix, garlic, tom purée, chopped toms, eggs, Yorkshire pudding, mug of gin, garibaldi biscuits. Yummy.

Annunziata Italy Fri 18-Jan-13 21:12:10

What is Lea & Perrins?

butterfingerz Fri 18-Jan-13 21:13:41

vinegar n bicarb is like one of those kids volcano science experiments isn't it?

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 18-Jan-13 21:13:41

It's Worcestershire sauce, Annunziata.

Fuck me, if that's edible it'll be a miracle.

If it's any consolation, I am also batch cooking spag Bol tonight as well. Although I avoided the vinegar...

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 18-Jan-13 21:14:59

But it wasn't bicarbonate, it was baking powder - ?

Next time, the oxo cubes dissolved in boiling water would be just fine instead of wine grin

Wallison Fri 18-Jan-13 21:15:21

Worcester (sp?) sauce. My GH book says to add it to bolognese sauce.

I don't think baking powder will improve matters, OP.

youmaycallmeSSP Fri 18-Jan-13 21:15:56

I really am going to have to bin it sad It tastes like fizzy beef with salt and vinegar. Pants.

It was expensive because of the quantity I was making.

butterfingerz Fri 18-Jan-13 21:16:10

maybe the baking powder will help it rise? turn it into a cake?

Wallison Fri 18-Jan-13 21:16:20

Ah, that's the right spelling, TheDoctrineOfSnatch.

MrsHoarder Fri 18-Jan-13 21:16:39

The sugar was serious to take the vinegar away. Try it with a small bit of the sauce first. And lol at baking powder. Isn't that more neutral than bicarb soda?

Annunziata Italy Fri 18-Jan-13 21:16:56

That doesn't really mean anything to me TheDoctrineofSnatch blush

But the only thing I can suggest is stop putting things in it, turn the heat way down low and leave it on overnight, see what it's like in the morning.

BillyBollyDandy Fri 18-Jan-13 21:17:00

Why baking powder?!!

It is very rare I actually laugh ou loud at thread but this is hilarious.

OP you are great.

petitfiloser Fri 18-Jan-13 21:17:41

100 ml red wine vinegar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

youmaycallmeSSP Fri 18-Jan-13 21:18:04

I added sugar but it didn't make much difference. It had been cooking for an hour so the mince had absorbed a lot of the flavour.

Slubberdegullion Fri 18-Jan-13 21:18:24

Yeah fizzy beef doesn't sound that great.

Adieu gopping bolognese sad

youmaycallmeSSP Fri 18-Jan-13 21:19:45

bikerunski said bicarb but I could only find baking powder in the cupboard. The baking powder label is ripped but the first legible ingredient is sodium bicarbonate so I gave it a shot.

BillyBollyDandy Fri 18-Jan-13 21:22:34

well i think there is a lot to be said for inventive cooking

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 18-Jan-13 21:22:57

It's a fermented liquid condiment primarily used to flavour meat and fish dishes, Annunziata:
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Worcestershire_sauce

Or: A Very British Sauce!

WingDefence Netherlands Fri 18-Jan-13 21:23:11

Oh blimey this is funny, sorry OP grin

I ruined a spag bol (and I'm bloomin proud of mine usually) by adding too much sugar after DM said she always added some to bring out the sweetness of the tomatoes. Ooh it was vile. I think I added extra Worcestershire sauce to try to take the sweetness down but then it just went wrong.

I can't remember how I saved it though but I'm sure I didn't chuck it confused

Startail Fri 18-Jan-13 21:23:17

Put pan somewhere cold or in the fridge and do nothing until tomorrow.

Seriously spag Bol always tastes richer and mellower after a day for the flavours to settle.

If it still tastes odd. Drain one portion of as much liquid as possible and see if cream and curry spice will redeem it.

BellaVita Fri 18-Jan-13 21:23:27

This thread has made my night! grin

Worcestershire sauce is made of fermented anchovies and all sorts of other tangy stuff. A little bit is nice is most meaty dishes.

Annunziata Italy Fri 18-Jan-13 21:25:25

Oh I love anchovies! I must try it.

Annunziata Italy Fri 18-Jan-13 21:26:12

(not in bolognese though wink)

youmaycallmeSSP Fri 18-Jan-13 21:29:21

Right. The heat is off. It's cooling down before I put it in the fridge overnight and if it's still frankensauce tomorrow morning I will admit defeat and start again sans grape juice and vinegar.

Baking soda is Bicarbonate of Soda with added acidic agent which acts as a reactor.

Bicarbonate of Soda on its own woukd need lemon juice or chocolate to react in order to make a cake rise.

Bicarb on its own would have neutralised the acid, baking soda already has acid, hence the fizziness.

FellatioNels0n Fri 18-Jan-13 21:30:48

shock What on earth possessed you?

Red wine is not essential - you can make a decent bolognese without it. But substituting....ach, let's not even go there; what's done is done. Chuck it and learn the lesson. Order a curry.

FellatioNels0n Fri 18-Jan-13 21:33:46

I once did that adding a scant teaspoon of sugar to a bolognese ragu 'to bring out the sweetness of the tomatoes' as well. It was a crap idea. Wholly unnecessary and the entire thing just tasted weirdly sugary.

If it ain't broke don't fix it.

TinTinsSexySister Fri 18-Jan-13 21:34:18

This is genius. Have a wineOP or a glass of vinegar and grape juice perhaps?

I add star anaise to my bogs, which is quite a strong flavour but not sure it will cover the vinegar or do anything about the fizz...

Mushrooms? A friend was once cooking a "ragu" for her new boyf and accidentally tipped in an entire tub of nutmeg. Her mum suggested she put 'shrooms in it to absorb the flavour.

Not sure if it worked though.

Cybbo Fri 18-Jan-13 21:36:25

Milk in a bolognese, hilarious!

Sling it on the lawn for the foxes

Brideandgloom Fri 18-Jan-13 21:36:56

Op are you in actual fact Heston Blumenthal? Gwan admit it, you're just researching your next series..... Fizzy beef! grin

TinTinsSexySister Fri 18-Jan-13 21:37:51

No, she says it did not grin

Slubberdegullion Fri 18-Jan-13 21:38:22

Hahahaha @ frankensauce.

I wouldn't leave it in my fridge tbh, it might wake up in the night and do unpleasant things in your house, like taunting the dog or moving your books around. Leave it in the garden. It's cold enough out.

Annunziata Italy Fri 18-Jan-13 21:39:24

Don't give it to the foxes, who knows what it'll do to them!

CharlieSilver Fri 18-Jan-13 21:39:30

<strokes OPs hair>

Blatherskite Fri 18-Jan-13 21:44:58

DH is unimpressed with your bolognese. He's trying to watch TV and can't hear it because I'm howling with laughter grin

Sorry op but I think it's had it.

FWIW, if I need to substitute red wine, I always do it with beef stock

KerryKetosis Fri 18-Jan-13 21:45:36

you've been a good sport OP.

and this is how folk learn how to cook innit? grin

next time: keep it simple, yeah?

MrsHoarder Fri 18-Jan-13 21:48:23

Blather: I have images of someone driving a wine glass of gravy now grin

Blatherskite Fri 18-Jan-13 21:52:47

Driving?

MrsHoarder Fri 18-Jan-13 21:53:47

Bloody autocorrect. drinking

TheDuckSaysMoo Fri 18-Jan-13 21:57:12

This is why I love mn grin. Thanks op. Have some wine on me.

MrsHoarder Fri 18-Jan-13 21:59:37

Rub in the lack on red wine still further?

Blatherskite Fri 18-Jan-13 22:03:28

Ah yes, the whole OXO sub works a lot better if you were wanting the red wine for cooking not for drinking grin

showtunesgirl Fri 18-Jan-13 22:03:51

So now it's a beefy fizzy cake? Have you tried adding marzipan?

sheldonesque Fri 18-Jan-13 22:12:55

Chuck it this way op

I reckon I could melt this bloody snow within a 100 mile radius with the fumes.

I'll swap you for a packet of jaffa cakes and a tin of corned beef.

Wallison Fri 18-Jan-13 22:17:36

Corned beef is actually quite expensive these days so that's not a bad deal.

SunbathingintheRain Fri 18-Jan-13 23:47:40

This thread has made me laugh. In fact I think this is the most I have ever laughed at a mumsnet thread.

Sorry about the spag bol though OP.

Incidentally, my DH used to think that 'spag bol' referred to any spaghetti served in a bowl. True story.

FellatioNels0n Sat 19-Jan-13 06:39:15

Wash it again, but this time with a tbsp of vanish oxi action (pink not white tub) and then start again.

<cries, wets self>

This is the best thread ever - I am lying in bed crying with laughter.
OP YOU NEED TO GET UP
I need to know how it is this morning!

catonlap Sat 19-Jan-13 08:38:17

Was it any better for breakfast?

FreakoidOrganisoid Sat 19-Jan-13 08:49:35

Would putting a raw potato in help? Like how it absorbs excess salt or chilli? Don't eat the potato though!

Adversecamber Sat 19-Jan-13 09:10:02

Reminded me of the do you rinse your mince thread.

youmaycallmeSSP Sat 19-Jan-13 09:31:27

Morning all.

DH tried some this morning and his reaction is unprintable, even on MN. I actually think it tastes ok - when it was in my mouth is tasted awful but it left a nice after-taste, not at all vinegary. The dreadful smell has pervaded the entire house though! Anyway, the sauce is in the bin and DH has drunk the rest of the grape juice so I can't do it again.

Thank you for the company, the suggestions (serious and mischievous) and the information smile

BrianButterfield Sat 19-Jan-13 09:42:13

This thread has so cheered me up this morning! I was keeping it together until "got any pineapple" then I just ROARED.

Sorry about your spag bog, OP. you deserve a cooking medal form going to heroic lengths!

loopylou6 England Sat 19-Jan-13 09:42:13

Wtf? Next time stuck to ragu and tomato puree you loon grin

Tee2072 Sat 19-Jan-13 09:47:29

Classic, total classic.

Sorry you couldn't rescue it, OP.

Perhaps next time just skip the wine...

SunbathingintheRain Sat 19-Jan-13 11:55:06

'when it was in my mouth it tasted awful'

LOVE how you are seeing a silver lining in the 'nice aftertaste' even after this.

Good luck with the next spag bol smile

Iamsparklyknickers Sat 19-Jan-13 11:59:45

I've images of your dh eating all the ingredients one by one, raw, that you used in a panic just so you can't make it again grin

grape juice down his t-shirt as he empties a tube of tomato purée into his mouth....

showtunesgirl Sat 19-Jan-13 12:00:04

YY, it's a Classic surely?

youmaycallmeSSP Sat 19-Jan-13 12:06:03

I braved the icy roads this morning to replace the ingredients. £39!?! at the checkout. There is a very good reason why I switched to online shopping.

serin Sat 19-Jan-13 12:13:11

£39? for ingredients! good grief where are you shopping?

I have loved your thread but I wouldn't recommend mixing baking powder and vinegar again as I think they are the basic ingredients of as bomb.....

Tee2072 Sat 19-Jan-13 12:21:51

No they are not the basic ingredients for a bomb! They are how you make a model volcano, though!

UrsulaBuffay Sat 19-Jan-13 12:23:09

Lol@ 'spag bog'

HoneyDragon Sat 19-Jan-13 12:25:00

Bombegnese?

FellatioNels0n Sat 19-Jan-13 12:58:06

I am really struggling with the knowledge of the OP spending 39 quid on tons of high quality ingredients then dousing them in grape juice, vinegar, milk, and baking soda. and deep heat and vanish oxi action.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Sat 19-Jan-13 13:00:23

Are you making it with minced Kobe beef?!

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Sat 19-Jan-13 13:03:54

But has the OP spent £39 on ingredients or has she done what I do, spent a tenner on ingredients and £29 on other, non-essential bits that she wouldn't have bought had she shopped on-line?

Annunziata Italy Sat 19-Jan-13 13:04:26

Where the hell are you shopping?

You only need pancetta, mince meat, carrots, celery, tomatoes, garlic and onions!

Oh this is hysterical grin

Anyway, £39 is very reasonable when you think how much the additonal ingredients cost. Vanish Oxi Action, Bicarb etc don't come cheap.

Tee2072 Sat 19-Jan-13 14:20:33

Pancetta? Celery? Where do you people get your recipes??

Trazzletoes Bosnia-Herzegovina Sat 19-Jan-13 14:34:43

Tee do you not put celery in Ragu? Seriously? Both celery and pancetta (or bacon) are staples in ours...

changeforthebetter Sat 19-Jan-13 14:34:54

I really can't remember the last time something on here made me laugh out loud. Thank you OP grin I have had my fair share of culinary disasters. It is a sure sign of a good cook <makes excuses wink>

showtunesgirl Sat 19-Jan-13 14:37:29

I'm actually batch cooking bolognese tonight and yes, I definitely put in celery and bacon in mine.

39 quid!

I can feed six of us for under a fiver if I make a bolognaise. And that includes mince, onions, mushrooms tomatoes and passata and the occasional carrot!

Where I am going wrong?

Benaberry Sat 19-Jan-13 14:40:05

Was anyone else feeling a bit like they'd returned to their childhood reading George's Marvellous Medicine with this thread?!

Sorry about the bolognese though OP, a right bugger when you were trying to batch cook so much. Better luck next time...

FWIW, pancetta or bacon always features in ours, although rarely celery. I tend to follow an old River Cottage recipe, designed for leftover roast beef but works just as well with all fresh. Sometimes I'll even do half half beef half pork mince...

Can't stand celery, I've never thought of pancetta though

Isnt the OP batch cooking? So its like a vats worth of ingredients? I hope so anyway!

Sometimes I put baked beans in bolognaise to bulk it out grin

Trazzletoes Bosnia-Herzegovina Sat 19-Jan-13 14:56:00

ghosts I also hate celery but DH cuts it up so small and puts it in st the start with the onions so its soft... I don't notice it now, but I do notice if its not there IYSWIM: it adds good flavour.

JoanByers Sat 19-Jan-13 14:59:35

you can make spag bol for about £3. Onion, tinned tomatoes, garlic, minced beef, dried herbs

oldraver Sat 19-Jan-13 14:59:37

I would of just left out the wine (I dont like wine and would never buy a bottle just to put in a sauce).... but the online thingy said put in a tablespoon not 100ml of red wine vinegar

youmaycallmeSSP Sat 19-Jan-13 15:00:07

I'm using this recipe but with 500g pork mince and 500g beef mince.

The £39 was because I picked up other 'bits' on my way round the shop. DS has some nice new slippers!

Tee2072 Sat 19-Jan-13 15:19:53

Celery is not food therefore I don't put it in anything. grin

Pancetta might be interesting in my pasta sauce, however.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Sat 19-Jan-13 15:20:46

Don't put the slippers in, OP!

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Sat 19-Jan-13 15:22:57

There is pancetta and celery in my recipe, never put celery in as it's the devil's food, but will chuck in pancetta/bacon if I have some.

I now have visions of it needing a little "kick" and you chucking the slippers in, like in Charlie and the Choc Factory grin

LouiseFisher Sat 19-Jan-13 15:38:08

Best option is grab a takeaway in the meantime! Then again..practice makes perfect! don't give up!!! smile

coffeeinbed Sat 19-Jan-13 16:16:17

Celery belongs in bolognese.
I'm in the milk camp.

PolterGoose Argentina Sat 19-Jan-13 16:24:58

That recipe has a kilo of mince and 6 bacon rashers to feed 4 shock

My 'recipe', which admittedly varies depending on what I've got, uses half a kilo mince and a couple of rashers (padded out with lots of onions, carrots and lentils) would easily feed 8-10.

youmaycallmeSSP Sat 19-Jan-13 16:28:27

I know Polter - a kilo of meat for four people?! That recipe feeds us for two nights (spag Bol and then lasagne/quesadillas) plus two bags to put in the freezer. I've made it before but it tasted a bit like cottage pie filling without the red wine so I wanted to see if it made much difference hmm

Thank you so much OP.
I am now batch-cooking bolognese in tribute to you.
I will, however, stick to wine (both in a glass and the sauce).
I think I'll skip the marzipan.

Rosyisgonnabeamummy Sat 19-Jan-13 17:08:52

Add port or wine

WingDefence Netherlands Sat 19-Jan-13 17:27:05

Wow OP, the quantities in that recipe would feed 10!

I tend to find the difference between cottage pie mince mixture and Spag Bol is in the tomatoeyness.

Good luck next time! smile

coffeeinbed Sat 19-Jan-13 19:13:07

I like the idea of lentils in it.
Mind you. I do love lentils.
Will try next time.
In the spirit of the OP.

I am loving this thread. But only because I too have ruined my bolognese by putting white wine and sugar in it thanks to some poncy good food recipie. It is not good food. It is fucking horrible.
I would imagine adding the ops slippers would make it more bearable.

Even the dog will not eat it.

MrsGeologist Sat 19-Jan-13 19:35:04

Fantastic thread grin

Wallison Sat 19-Jan-13 19:56:09

Lentils have no place in a bolognese sauce. It might be a nice sauce, but it's not bolognese.

youmaycallmeSSP Sat 19-Jan-13 20:32:08

Good luck toomany!

Bolognese sauce #2 is bubbling away nicely. I've resisted the temptation to add DS's slippers but I nearly put vinegar in again twice. It was a real effort to stop myself! I've been turning over the grape juice & vinegar idea in my mind for a few weeks so I suppose it's imprinted itself on my subconscious grin Maybe DH shoud have drunk the vinegar too...

PolterGoose Argentina Sat 19-Jan-13 20:47:21

I agree, lentils aren't authentic, but, like many, I cook for my taste and budget, not to follow rules grin

OP I do hope yours turned out okay.

Mine has gone wrong for the first time ever and I've been cooking the same recipe for 30 years.
I always put some cayenne in for a bit of background 'character' and today it is almost inedibly spicy. I can only think I have been doomed by this thread!

showtunesgirl Sat 19-Jan-13 23:46:38

Yay! Thank you MNHQ, now made Classics! grin

"when it was in my mouth is tasted awful but it left a nice after-taste, not at all vinegary"

I bet you say that to all the boys grin grin

CharlieSilver Sun 20-Jan-13 16:06:19

PomBear grin grin

youmaycallmeSSP Sun 20-Jan-13 16:46:06

Oh no Toomany, how annoying.

It's taken me 3.5 years to get a thread into Classics... Every cloud has a silver lining! I can't tell DH though as I'm not supposed to be on here and I don't think he would understand that it was an emergency.

Well done for getting in classics.
It serves me right - I haven't laughed so much for years and I was feeling so smug while I was cooking.
I will turn it into chilli con carne with a couple of tins of kidney beans.

LadyMaryQuiteContrary Sun 20-Jan-13 17:00:13

I have a spare cook book if you'd like it, OP. grin

Sunnywithshowers Sun 20-Jan-13 17:14:23

I have cried at this thread OP.

VoldermortOrJackBauer Sun 20-Jan-13 18:53:33

Mirepoix, garlic, tom purée, chopped toms, eggs, Yorkshire pudding, mug of gin, garibaldi biscuits. Yummy.

I was keeping it together until I got to this part...

Sorry about your sauce OP snigger

amillionyears Sun 20-Jan-13 18:58:50

Glad it has gone into classics.
I am a bit notorious amongst family for failing to have a sense of humour, but I thought this thread was hilarious.

youmaycallmeSSP Sun 20-Jan-13 19:40:54

Thank you LadyMary, I have a shelf-full of cookbooks but this is what happens when I go off-piste!

I'm pleased to say that we've just had some of the second batch for dinner and it was scrumptious, although not as exciting as the first batch. This time I replaced the grape juice and vinegar red wine with stock made from an Oxo cube and a dash of Lea & Perrins.

I'm glad my antics have amused so many people!

LadyMaryQuiteContrary Sun 20-Jan-13 19:45:03

Don't worry. Put this one down to experience and in the bin smile

Lovecat Tue 22-Jan-13 10:10:21

You mean to tell me you schlepped all the way to the supermarket to buy new ingredients and you didn't buy red wine while you were there ??? shock ???

Thank you for the funniest thread I've read in a long time, however grin

utopian99 Wed 23-Jan-13 03:07:00

This is so funny am planning on keeping it to read to dh in the morning.. (he's a closet classics fan)

Reminds me of the time I made him grey risotto. First meal I cooked him, foolish boy for hanging around after that one.

youmaycallmeSSP Wed 23-Jan-13 18:26:21

Mmm, grey risotto confused

LadyCat we're Mormons so I don't cook with wine.

youmaycallmeSSP Wed 23-Jan-13 18:26:44

LadyCat? LoveCat grin

Lovecat Thu 24-Jan-13 10:48:43

Ah, sorry, I didn't realise, just thought you'd run out! blush

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