Today I Am Packing A Bag And Leaving

(717 Posts)
DoneWithItAllNow Thu 13-Dec-12 11:38:40

I can't do this anymore. I have been taking a cocktail of antidepressants and beta blockers for two years plus having counselling for depression and anxiety and I was just starting to think things were getting better.

Then I properly opened my eyes and looked around me. I saw the state of this flat, what I have been subjecting my disabled husband to for the past 18 months. Oh my God, I am so ashamed and I can't believe I am writing this but I need someone to judge me and tell me how terrible I am and it will be best coming from strangers over the Internet.

My house is a shit-tip. I don't mean a mess, I mean an absolute shit tip. And I can't face doing anything about it. We have not used our kitchen for 18 months. It is a mess of washing up never done, mould and dead flies. We do not even make tea in there and DH has a microwave ready meal each night cooked in a microwave so filthy that I am surprised I have not poisoned him. I live on biscuits, cabs of coke, whatever I can keep in the lounge. There is a leftover chicken casserole in my fridge that I cooked in May 2010 for fuck sake.

I cannot face dealing with it. The rest of the flat is no better. There are piles of washing everywhere as all I have washed is underwear and essential work stuff.

I called a cleaning company to ask for help. I wanted to see how much they would charge just to sort the kitchen. The lady who came out told me nobody will do it. Apparently it is classed as "gross filth" and I would have to employ a specialist team "like you see on Grime Squad." I know I could never afford that.

This place is damp and falling apart. The landlord doesn't care and we need to move. Seven months ago I had a ceiling fall in but I can't tell the landlord as he will come round and I can't let him see this place in this state.

So today I am packing a bag and leaving. I don't know where yet but I have to go. It is either that or something more drastic. DH will be better off without me. I have no real friends but I know that people will rally round to help the poor disabled man who's wife has left him with this to deal with. It will be better for all of us.

I can't believe I let things get like this. I don't know why I am posting this. I just need to get it in writing somewhere.

WhoremoaneeGrainger Thu 13-Dec-12 11:46:14

Please don't leave a man you obviously love so very much. The fact that you are prepared to leave so he can get some help shows your love. You need to tell him how you feel, and say you're sorry if you want to. But dont walk out on him. Nothing is insurmountable. Just take things a little bit at a time. Clean the inside of the microwave today. Tomorrow wash some pots up. Saturday empty and clean the inside of your fridge. Small steps, a little bit at a time.

Seeing it is a shock, and you sound angry at yourself. Dont be. Circumstances can get on top of us all at some time.

Have to run as working, but didnt want to leave your post unanswered.

aprilrain Thu 13-Dec-12 11:46:31

DoneWith, I am so sorry things are this hard for you at the moment. You are not to blame for this. Many have gone down the same path under difficult circumstances.

I seriously doubt your husband would be better off without you

You need real, practical help. What about the council?

Does your husband know you're planning to leave?

You don't need 'judgement' you need congratulating on working extremely hard to get mentally well smile

So, CONGRATULATIONS ! What you are doing is the most important thing.

Everything else is just incidental, it's just practicalities. When you feel well enough you can start small - with a bin bag that you start to throw stuff away in. If you live within an hour of me in Hertfordshire I would relish coming round to clean your microwave and kitchen so if you do PM me.

In the meantime (until you feel well enough- is there no friend you can call on to help?) keep going out, try very hard not to beat yourself up for the mess - it's only a symptom of how much distress you have been in and how well you have done to start recovery.


aprilrain Thu 13-Dec-12 11:49:21

Doing one small job a day is a great idea.

Or how about hiring a mini skip and chucking the unwashed pots out along with any other rubbish and clutter you can get rid of. As you're not using them you won't miss them. You can replace them as and when.

CajaDeLaMemoria Thu 13-Dec-12 11:49:57

Call Social Services.

Honestly, they can help you. They will carry out an assessment, send a cleaner, get help with cooking if you need it.

Once you've got it tidy, you'll probably need to go to the CAB. Tell them about the roof. It doesn't sound like your house is structurally sound, so they'll write to your landlord. They can also help you find somewhere else to live, if you do want to move. Otherwise, they'll make sure your landlord fixes it correctly, and in the right time scales.

Don't leave your husband. You clearly love him. He'll miss you, and no amount of other people helping him will make up for losing you.

Please dont leave. Many people have been in your situation and you have to start small to tackle the house.

If you live near Bucks I will come and help you - Im sure others will also pitch in. This can be fixed - you need help my lovely.

You have opened your eyes now and have taken steps to help yourself, you are doing brilliantly.

Where in the country are you, we can get googling to see what sort of services are in your area.

Could adult social services help you? (I don't know the nature of your husbands disability is so sorry if thats offensive)

Is there anyone in RL you can confide in?

FivesGoldNorks Thu 13-Dec-12 11:53:49

How has it got so bad (not a judgement, a genuine question). Is it down to your depression or was the flat uninhabitable when you moved in?
What does your Dh do to help?
Please do not leave and do NOT do anything drastic. I assume you do not have children?
I'm sorry I know this is hard. Grab a skip and just chuck everything. Do you literally have no friends. They will help and will not judge if you tell them how close to a breakdown you are, living in the conditions you do.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Thu 13-Dec-12 11:54:50

Instead of packing a bag roll up your sleeves, get into that kitchen and sort it out. You can do it. If you have a car, fill it with bin bags of rubbish and drive them to the tip. If no car, fill the binbags anyway and line them up outside next to your bin.
Just throw everything. Don't try scubbing it.
Once the room is empty use shit loads of cleaning chemicals everywhere until it is clean.
You are only a day it so away from it being absolutely 100% rectified. Don't give up smile

DoneWithItAllNow Thu 13-Dec-12 11:57:12

Now I'm sat here in floods of tears at all your kind words. I am in Bucks. My husband is severely partially sighted but he works and we don't receive any help. I work too - if you met me on the street you would probably think I seem so normal sad

I just don't know where to start at the moment. Christmas is going to be shit this year. I can't even cook a dinner and everybody is away this year so I have nobody we can go to.

There doesn't seem to be a way of fixing this anymore.

milk Thu 13-Dec-12 11:57:22

DoneWithItAllNow - Please stay on this thread and chat with us!

WinklyVersusTheZombies Thu 13-Dec-12 11:58:55

You can do this. Binbags and dettol. The whole damn lot, out. Plates and all. You can buy a 12 piece set in Argos for £4.50. Once the kitchen is clear, reassess and come back to us.

Bin the lot, including the dishes. If you have the get up and go to pack and leave you have the energy to get the kitchen sorted.

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Thu 13-Dec-12 12:00:55

I swear you can do this. Can you go to the shop and buy bin liners? 24hrs and you can turn this around.

missmartha Thu 13-Dec-12 12:01:05

I agree, don't clean stuff in the kitchen, chuck it. I assume you have black bags. Fling the whole lot away. It's just rubbish now, you need to start afresh.

You don't need to do it all at once, but if you have the energy to pack a bag, you have the energy to fill a rubbish bag with kitchen crap.

Don't quit, get in there and start to get a handle on it.

Ringing Social Services would be good too.

FivesGoldNorks Thu 13-Dec-12 12:01:24

right so money not a huge issue?
Plan a meal out for Christmas. Even just the local pub.
And seriously, hire a skip or load up your car with crap. It seems a huge unsurmountable job but stick the radio on, get yourself a coffee and make a start. See how much you can get done in an hour. Then take stuff to tip if car full and reward yourself with a slice of cake. Just get it done! Any dithering over "should I keep..." - get rid!

DoneWithItAllNow Thu 13-Dec-12 12:01:33

I don't know how it got so bad - it wasn't like this when we moved in. I used to have a lovely home. I think one day when I was feeling really bad I just thought "I'll leave doing the kitchen until tomorrow." then 'tomorrow' just never happened. The same with everything else blush

My DH would help but from a practical round the house point of view he is quite limited in what he is capable of.

I can't get a skip as the management company wouldn't let me have one in the carpark. If I could have one and I could afford it I would probably just throw everything in this flat in it abd start again.

And when your kitchen is done, make sure you only replace with small sets to prevent getting overwhelmed again.

If you're in Bucks and I'm in West Herts then I really will come round and help you. I have one appointment tomorrow which finishes at 10.30 and have cock all else to do.

Seriously, PM me - there is nothing in your house that I haven't seen before and if you want to check out my posting history I've been here since 2006 and I promise I'm not a serial killer grin but am eminently practical and have a stockpile of cleaning products and bin bags.

Squiglettsmummy2bx Thu 13-Dec-12 12:04:06

Bin it all, even if you have to use a pound packet of paper plates until you can start getting new stuff it doesn't matter. It may feel refreshing to throw it all away too. Well done on getting yourself onto the road of recovery, don't leave, you can do this grin Look at it one thing at a time & it will get done & you will be so very proud of yourself.

One step at the time
1) Book Xmas lunch in a nice pub so you don't have to worry about that.
2) Buy some black bags, rubber gloves, disinfectant etc.
3) Pick one thing to clear e.g. draining board
4) Check if there is anything on the draining board that matters to you and put it to one side
5)Chuck the rest into a black bag.
6)Put the black bag in the outside bin
7) Give yourself a huge pat on the back for making a start.

peasabovesticks Thu 13-Dec-12 12:06:04

I also think you should phone Social Services.
Do you have children?

Bullincathkidston Thu 13-Dec-12 12:06:18

A bin bag at a time fill one today. You home now? Got some?

Awwww love x

FivesGoldNorks Thu 13-Dec-12 12:06:48

does your idiot landlord not do inspections?
You had a lovely home once, you can again.

these guys do cleaning as you describe in your area.

If you can't hire a skip then can you drive? could you hire a van for a couple of days?

rubyrubyruby Thu 13-Dec-12 12:07:10

This had made me cry.

You poor love x
good advice here - you can do it!

Try to clear it and clean it and then call in landlord about ceiling.

peasabovesticks Thu 13-Dec-12 12:07:21

Brilliant advice Chazs

You've taken the first important step by admitting it. You can turn this around.

pictish Thu 13-Dec-12 12:07:45

I agree with those saying to fuck cleaning stuff - just throw it all away, and give the place a damn good scrub when it's all gone.
Start again.

I have so much sympathy for you. xxx

FivesGoldNorks Thu 13-Dec-12 12:08:08

and take Laurie up on her offer You don't know where any of us live, we don't have to offfer if we don't want to.

takataka Thu 13-Dec-12 12:08:15

that is so kind lauries
let lauries help you could have a nice clean house for Xmas smile

EnjoyResponsibly Thu 13-Dec-12 12:09:38

And this is the sort of Mumsnet story that never reads the paper, a woman in trouble and others offering to come and help.

thanks all round.

OP please, please don't go. Just binning it all will be so cathartic, once it's gone you'll feel better about letting in agencies to help you.

Bless you, I hope you get sorted soon.

Borntobeamum Thu 13-Dec-12 12:12:56

Big lifts and little lifts.
Start somewhere small, like making your sink sparkle.
Then the draining board.
Use paper towels and bin everything that you've not used for 6 months.
Move all rubbish into black sacks, tie them up and place them by the door.
Do a bit at a time.
Trust me, this will work.

Keep chatting to us here. X

Ephiny Thu 13-Dec-12 12:13:41

I don't think you're terrible. You've clearly got into a situation where you're overwhelmed by things, but that doesn't mean you should leave, or that your husband is better off without you. You're a team, you face the difficult times together, that IMO is what marriage is about. And you can't run away from depression and anxiety.

You need to sit down with him and tell him how you're feeling, that you've realised how bad things are and you want to start doing something about it, and you need help and support.

Make a plan, one step at a time. You can't sort out the whole house in one go, but bit by bit you can and will do it. Take whatever help you can get from social services etc, don't be too proud to ask.

You've taken a huge first step in admitting to yourself how bad things have become. Well done. That's probably the hardest part.
I agree with the others. Throw as much away as you can. You will feel massively motivated to complete it if you are successful at clearing a small amount at a time. Thinking of it as a whole job would put the strongest, most pulled togethet person off, so take small steps.


pissovski Thu 13-Dec-12 12:15:21

I second, third and fourth chucking it out and starting afresh! and yy to booking Xmas lunch out.

You can do this but please do accept help, be it from Laurie, SS or whoever smile

Take care of yourself xxxx

FivesGoldNorks Thu 13-Dec-12 12:15:36

It strike me that you must be lonely, since presumably no one has been round for a few years. Do you have family?

DoneWithItAllNow Thu 13-Dec-12 12:17:10

I have PM'd Laurie. I am so overwhelmed by all your kind words. I expected to be told what a slattern I am and that my husband would be better off without me.

I don't have kids of my own - just a young stepson who doesn't come in the house as DH sees him at contact centre (that could be a whole another thread.)

I can probably throw 90% of it away. Just a few things I'd want to keep due to sentimental value. We have been using paper plates and plastic cutlery for I think about a year now. I have about £80 in Argos vouchers that I could use to replace stuff but the idea never occurred to me before.

VitoCorleone Thu 13-Dec-12 12:17:50

Please take up the offer of help, you really can turn this around.

God theres some lovely people on here thanks

EnjoyResponsibly Thu 13-Dec-12 12:20:40

Come on OP. Do you remember Debkas thread from earlier this year? SHe posted in despair, but became a clean freak zealot type backed by MNers.

Set a target, bin the lot by tomorrow night. Clean Friday and Saturday. Sunday collect new stuff from Argos.

Small steps. Big results.

WhoremoaneeGrainger Thu 13-Dec-12 12:21:12

Laurie, just one day at a time, lovey. I agree with the binning, if you can afford to replace it.

You're not a slattern, just emerging from a chysallis(sp) type place. Its easy not to see it when you have other things on your mind.

You have made the biggest step - accepting help and advice.

Keep talking, its the best therapy.

MummyPig24 Thu 13-Dec-12 12:22:09

I wish I lived close, I so would come and help you. You can do it! Just chuck it all and buy new. You'll be so proud of yourself by the end.

milk Thu 13-Dec-12 12:24:52

With 12 days to Christmas, what an incredible present a clean flat would be grin

Look, see - that's a great idea about the Argos vouchers! Perfect. It shows that you have made huge steps forward.

This is a wonderful lovely thread. I am nowhere near you but please do take care, I am thinking about you. You sound like a kind, lovely person who has had a terribly difficult time and it sounds like you have been ill.

Small steps, small steps

MovingGal Thu 13-Dec-12 12:25:52

Done - you have made an important first step of actually seeing the state of your home. Please don't underestimate this.

Have you had a look at the Flylady website? The forums there are full of people who have been or are still in the same situation as you. Also lots of others in varying degrees of disorganisation.

I don't follow the flylady plan exactly but I have gained valuable tips and inspiration. Hope you will too.

ICBINEG Thu 13-Dec-12 12:25:52

absolutely with the chuck it and start over! I have been within in touching distance of falling into this particular spiral of doom and have every possible sympathy.

If you weren't 250 miles away I would pitch in and help! Easy to say I know but it is true.

CremeEggThief Thu 13-Dec-12 12:25:53

Oh sweetheart sad. I agree with everyone else to get in there and chuck the lot. One room at a time. And please take those kind people who live near you up on their offers to help.

One room at a time, one day at a time.

cq Thu 13-Dec-12 12:26:23

Congratulations on facing up to the problem OP. Things can only get better from here with all the help and advice you are now getting.

Just think how great you will feel to rediscover your kitchen, it will make your whole life seem so much better.

Keep strong, baby steps are the way forward.


You'll be ok. Just start it, get some music on, open the kitchen window for 5 min to let some fresh air in. Rubber gloves on. Start in the most obvious places throwing away blatant rubbish, do it quick without too much thought. Open that fridge and fling fling fling, casserole dish and all. Anything which has been looking at you and stressing you out, that dying plant, that calender you never filled out - chuck em! Spray everywhere with dettol. Stick a bowl of water in the microwave for a few minutes, the steam will loosen all the crud, then scrape/scrub and dettol it all.

With every little thing you get done feel yourself getting stronger and more capable. It doesn't have to be perfect, trying is good enough.

Definitely don't leave, and don't despair. It's only housework, it's fixable! grin

takataka Thu 13-Dec-12 12:28:54

dont de-crud the microwave-chuck it away!!

they are only £20 is Asda

WinklyVersusTheZombies Thu 13-Dec-12 12:30:31

You are going to be absolutely fine. You won't know yourself when you've thrown all the crap out. Do keep coming back and let us know how you're getting on.

CremeEggThief Thu 13-Dec-12 12:30:34

Once you have sorted it, I know you will keep on top of things. I am struggling with low-level depression, so nowhere near as bad as what you have been through. The one thing that helps me is keeping the house very tidy and relatively clean. It will make a huge difference to you and the feeling of achievement, knowing you have taken steps to tackle it, will be immense.


HoHoHokeyCokeyPigInAPokey Thu 13-Dec-12 12:30:36

This is when MN is at it's best.

So glad you posted op and didn't just walk out.

I have nothing to add that hasn't been said already but take up the offers of help - i am too far away sadly or would come and pitch in.

All is not lost and today is the first day of the rest of your life thanks

susanann Thu 13-Dec-12 12:30:49

I have suffered from depression off and on for years so I have some idea of how you feel. Well done for recognising that your home needs sorting out. As everyone else has said do a bit at a time, dont beat yourself up. Your hubby may not be able to help you in practical ways but can he not support you emotionally, or is he depressed too ? Maybe you need different medication?
Im sure your hubby loves you . You can get through this together. If I lived nearer I would come and help you, Im great with a bottle of bleach! lol.
Clean up some of the kitchen maybe the microwave, sink and fridge. Then go spend those argos vouchers on kitchen stuff. Maybe have a meal out as a reward. Good luck and keep us posted.

harrietspy Thu 13-Dec-12 12:31:21

I'm so glad there's someone close by who can help. There are reasons why it's got so bad and you need compassion and support to deal with the underlying reasons, not condemnation by anyone, most of all yourself. Please, please, please be kind to yourself. You deserve kindness.

Could you think about doing one little job for 15 mins at a time and then going out into the living room for a drink of water? Just opening a bin bag would be a huge start.

Flylady really helped me out too like movinggal when I was overwhelmed. There are so many people who have been in a similar position.

Coming on here instead of leaving = absolutely amazing.

bbface Thu 13-Dec-12 12:32:25

Crying reading this, and I have never even been close to crying on mumsnet.

Seriously, people can be so lovely, can't they?

You'll be alright donewiththis, you will. Xxxx

Badvocsanta Thu 13-Dec-12 12:34:15

Ikea is dead cheap for replacement stuff.
Whole dinner sets for under £20 and cheap bathroom and kitchen utensils.
Just get loads of bin bags.
Bin the lot.
Lots of bleach diluted with water.
Lots of J cloths you can throw away.
Some marigold gloves to protect your hands.
Damp dust surfaces with dilute bleach.
Mop and bucket for floors.
Get a replacement for the microwave - very cheap now for a basic one.
Turn fridge freezer off to defrost and clean it. With bleach.
Wipe all inside windows with vinegar and newspaper...really really works.
Bicarb is also good for fridges.
Get the radio on and dance as you clean!
Good luck x

DoneWithItAllNow Thu 13-Dec-12 12:34:51

I am feeling a bit more positive thanks to your lovely posts and offers of help that I have received. I think I may be able to do this and I reckon that if I can get it sorted once then I can keep it sorted. I just looked at it this morning and thought "oh my god" and felt myself plunging back into total despair over the whole thing.

I want to sort it. I want to move out of this damp hell hole and move on with life. I used to enjoy cooking. I'd give anything to be able to eat my home made shepherds pie again. I have some bin bags. I am going to fill a couple now!

imogengladhart Thu 13-Dec-12 12:35:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CremeEggThief Thu 13-Dec-12 12:35:58

Yay! grin

imogengladhart Thu 13-Dec-12 12:37:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FivesGoldNorks Thu 13-Dec-12 12:37:39

Well done op! And don't get sucked into mm, but do come back in an hour or so to let us know how you've done
Right, must take own advice...

GoldQuintessenceAndMyhrr Thu 13-Dec-12 12:38:02

Oh you poor love! Let laurie help you, she has a kind heart!

I wish I was near too (and not ill), I am not scared of grime at all.

Now is the time to use your argos vouchers and reclaim your kitchen!

Well there you go, motivation! Clean the kitchen and reward yourself with that shepherds pie!

rubyrubyruby Thu 13-Dec-12 12:38:38

Brilliant donewith!!!

..... and you needn't think we will leave it there. Oh no - we shall be back to check up on you see how you are doing wink

Another thought.
Do you have a local laundrette that does service washes? Could you sort out a bag or two of washing and pay them to wash and dry it.

Outsourcing helps.

You have come so far just by posting. I agree with others that the clutter is probably bringing your mood down further and clearing it will help.

If you do nothing else today, get a carrier bag, put that old chicken casserole (in the pot) in it and chuck it in the outside bin. Its clearly really bothering you and you will feel so much better when it is gone.

x post
I'm proud of you thanks

Alibabaandthe40nappies Thu 13-Dec-12 12:42:25

Yay OP!

I have suffered from depression, and the thing that made it worse was when my home was in chaos.

I now pay a cleaner £120 a month to keep it sparkly, and because she comes every week I keep it really tidy. I consider it an investment in my mental health, and in my marriage because we are all so much happier!

Laurie you are lovely to offer, I can feel your keenness to get stuck in coming through the screen grin

youarewinning Thu 13-Dec-12 12:42:51

Ah you poor woman. You have been suffering from depression which sucks you into your own little hole and often leads to shutting out the rest.

I am so everyone has told you to stay and you can do this because you can grin

Admitting the problem (as they say)is the first step.

Remember a New Year is coming up and we can all support you to make it the best one yet!

Take a couple of photos before you start. You will get to the point where you feel you haven't done anything constructive but if you look at the photos you can see how far you have come on.

Donewith you are amazingly strong. It takes a brave person to admit they need help let alone get up and do something about it. Good luck.

thanks for you laurie you are very kind.

BellaVita Thu 13-Dec-12 12:47:16

Yay for Laurie helping.

Well done OP for posting.

RudolphGnu Thu 13-Dec-12 12:47:21

You can do this! And what a courageous person you are to come on an internet forum full of strangers and admit you're out of your depth. You're fighting anxiety and depression which is an illness that can make small tasks incredibly overwhelming.

Just a word of advice from personal experience: write a checklist of what you want to achieve and give yourself a time frame. Start off small or you may end up overwhelmed, and disheartened and back at square one.

So, for example, 1pm-2pm - clear area between cooker and fridge into bin bags. Then fifteen mins MNing or catching a show on tv.

You will get past this. All the best.

Just wanted to offer my support too.

I suffer from ostrich syndrome too sometimes and it can be a relief to be proactive when you pull your head out of the sand.

Good luck. thanks

I hope you let LauriesFairy help you op.

And I really hope you get sorted. WITH your DP. You clearly love him.

I have been in a similar situation before and you CAN do it. As said above, admitting it is a good first step.

Feel free to PM me. I'm happy to tell you how it was for me.

HECTheHallsWithRowsAndFolly Thu 13-Dec-12 12:54:53

one bin liner at a time.

You can do this.


Plomino Thu 13-Dec-12 12:56:33

You can do this ! You will do this . You have got the very hardest step out of the way by making the decision TO do something about this.

Let me tell you something . I work in a profession that takes me into houses from the very top multimillion end of the scale , to teeny tiny cupboards. I have been into enormous places , where I have literally wiped my feet on the way out. They are more common than you would believe .

Start small . Don't try and do all of it at once . You are one woman (albeit a stronger one than you think! ) Pick one room , grab the bin bags , and start . You will be surprised how liberating it will be . Before you know it , you'll have one room cleared . Take a picture . Stick it somewhere you can see it daily, and use it as your inspiration . Soon you'll have to be restrained from clearing up like a whirling dervish , I promise you .

Would social services consider helping you ? They might be able to fund getting a cleaning team in , or use the council in house one . Don't ask , don't get , after all .

Good luck . We have faith in you !

Witchety Thu 13-Dec-12 12:56:33

Give us a shout if you need extra help!!

This is the shepherds pie thread!

toomuch2young Thu 13-Dec-12 12:57:35

Brilliant, you can do it.
Keep thinking of the lovely shepherds pie you are going to make in your clean kitchen with shiny new things. thanks and brew

IceTheChristmasKateMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 13-Dec-12 12:58:17

Hi everyone, thanks to all those who brought this thread to our attention.

<sniff> It's been said before, but you lots really are a lovely, generous nest of vipers.

As is our policy in these cases, we do advise all our members to be aware that not everyone on t'internet is who they say they are.

Although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We'd also like to add that whenever meeting someone IRL that you have met online, whether it was on Mumsnet or, you should always take extra precautions, and be especially careful.

Merry Christmas!

snowtunesgirl Thu 13-Dec-12 13:00:41

You can do it OP and you vipers have reminded me that I need to do something similar with my front room which is currently the Room of Doom. Everything has been chucked in there as we've had virus and sicknesses over and over again recently and it's all got on top of me and DH.

OP, if YOU can do it, so can I. grin

IvantaOuiOui Thu 13-Dec-12 13:00:50

I have been helping a friend with depression sort her house out, which sounds very like your situation. Would recommend getting the thick sacks you can use for garden rubble as they are super strong for flinging stuff in. If you have any boxes set one aside for paperwork to go in as you clear up. You will uncover layers and layers of things you have forgotten about!

MovingGal Thu 13-Dec-12 13:01:51

I can do anything for 15 minutes.

(Shamelessly stolen from Flyladysmile)

This one small saying can change your whole outlook. Just try it.

Set a timer or look at your clock and commence filling a rubbish bag. (Or whatever seems the most pressing thing to do).
Work quickly, don't be too fussy and then stop after 15 mins.

Give yourself permission to stop after 15 mins. You do not have to get it all done in one go. You may want to do a bit more, but you don't have to.

Have a drink of water/tea for 10 mins then repeat. You will be amazed what you can achieve in bursts of 15 mins or 10 or 5 if thats what you can manage. Something is better than nothing.

Depression sucks everything out of you, and it's sometimes so difficult to do anything at all. Well done for putting your hand up! Keep your head up, breathe ("chin up and chest out") and aim for the bin bags. It will be deeply satisfying and you'll get lots of praise on here!

christmassy that's a great idea about before and after photos.

shabooby Thu 13-Dec-12 13:05:48

Lauris, you just bought a tear to my eye smile

snowtunesgirl Thu 13-Dec-12 13:06:36

I do what MovingGal suggests and the time really does fly and I'm always amazed at how much I get done.

AnyaKnowIt Thu 13-Dec-12 13:10:10

I wish I was closer, I'd be round there with my rubber gloves and steam cleaner.

I do agree, just chuck everything out and buy nice new things.

Bag by bag you will feel the weight on your shoulders lift I promise.

MmeGuillotine Thu 13-Dec-12 13:12:54

Oh Op, I'm so glad you posted here today. Good luck with getting everything sorted - BIN THE LOT and keep on thinking about that shepherd's pie as you'll get there in the end. smile

Much love to you! thanks

PickledInAPearTree Thu 13-Dec-12 13:13:51

Yes you can do it. Good luck xx

kohl Thu 13-Dec-12 13:13:52

Go go DoneWith! You are being amazingly brave, and I think you can totally do this, especially for home made shepherd's pie! Have had colossal depression in the past and know how much effort this must take, and how daunting it must seem. I am cheering you on from the frozen north.

MovingGal Thu 13-Dec-12 13:16:46

I second the idea of making a list. I am a crazy list maker but I find it helps me to see what I have done at the end of the day. We all have those days when we go flat out all day and can't see much for our efforts.

My list for today looked like this:

Wash, Iron, Fold, Cook Tea

Change A's bed, Take L to work.

Clear kitchen bench.

As you can see, it didn't all get done. I got caught up with shopping etc etc but I will carry over any essentials to tomorrows list. The top row is always the same anyway. Sometimes I add the extra things I do just so I can cross them off! (yes, sad I know!)

DoneWithItAllNow Thu 13-Dec-12 13:17:31

Oh God now I'm scared. My thread got reported to MNHQ!

I promise I didn't start it to look for people who would help me. I just needed to vent. DH is popping home in his lunch break and bringing me binbags. I will have filled one by 2pm! At least one...

Plomino I also work in a profession where I have colleagues who go into houses. They often come back disgusted at what they have seen and comment that they "don't know how anyone can live like that.". More than once I have sat quietly in my corner and thought "if only you knew..."

I have also just looked at the link that Chrismissy posted way up the thread. It's good to know that they can help me out if the local elephants ever become troublesome

I couldnt read this without posting. Depression leaves you feeling like even a shower is too much effort so I can understand how this escalated. You sound very very positive about clearing it but if you are still feeling depressed it may feel insurmountable when you start.

Everyone on this thread is right behind you. Dont try to tackle the whole lot. Take it steady and it will be easier to achieve. Clear your sink. Chuck it all away if you need to just clear it because once you regain access to your sink you can clean anything you need to, make tea/coffee etc. even just cleaning your kitchen sounds like it will give you the degree if functionality that you want. To cook meals, make teas and sod it you could even wash in there if the bathroom etc isnt usable yet.

Please please take the offers of help. It may feel like the ground will swallow you up to let someone in but they are coming in to tackle it with you. No-one is judging. Good luck. You have made such a massive step by recognising the problem in itself.

Adviceinscotland Thu 13-Dec-12 13:19:16

This has to be the first mumsnet thread every where everyone is saying "NO, don't leave the b*******d" wink

Op, could you maybe post the first half of your postcode so any local mumsnetters could help out if they wanted. I agree it's lovely what laurie is doing but even another pair off hands will make a huge difference

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter Thu 13-Dec-12 13:20:23

It seems horrendous now honestly but you'll feel so much better dealing with it. Speak to social services, if they can't help, go to a pound shop rubber gloves, black bags and disinfectant. Chuck the lot and start again.
You'll feel 100 times better dealing with it xx

MovingGal Thu 13-Dec-12 13:21:37

I have to go to bed now (am in Aus) but please keep posting DoneWith.
We are all behind you.

SeeYouSoon Thu 13-Dec-12 13:22:39

You can definitely do this. Don’t look at it as a whole, that’s too scary, look at it one tiny bit at a time. Not even one room at a time, do one surface at a time. If you can’t get a skip, do you have a car? Black bin bags in the boot to the tip, it may take a lot of trips, but again, just look at it one trip at a time. I’ve had depression, I know how easy it is to get into this sort of state, and how hard it is to get out of it, but you have done the absolute hardest part now by seeing it and acknowledging it. It’s all upwards from here!

FivesGoldNorks Thu 13-Dec-12 13:23:42

I'm sure people reported just to be thorough. Its a wonderful thing that Laurie is doing but always worth remembering to be careful when you meet anyone off the internet grin
Hope you're singing while you're slinging op!

takataka Thu 13-Dec-12 13:24:06
TantrumsandBananas Thu 13-Dec-12 13:24:10

I second the "15 minute rule". Thats how I do alot of things!

Get a wiggle on for 15 minutes, then take a break for 15 minutes. Theres something about it that works.

Earlier this year I had a particularly bad bout of depression, which resulted in my not even being able to go out. Once I started getting better the 15 minute thing really helped me get control over my home back.

You are ace for asking for help!!! Well done you xxx

scripsi Thu 13-Dec-12 13:24:28

I haven't managed to read the whole thread (at work) but if you are South East I will come to help you.
Perhaps the fact that your mental health has improved (and just WOW! that you have come this far!) is why you have really noticed what you are living with - so perhaps you can see your feelings today as a big positive and really mean that you are another step forwards!
I often set a timer for 15 minute for those insurmountable tasks (suggested by other MNers to me) and suddenly I find I am 2 hours in!
I second the idea that bin bags are the first step - I would say bin bags for the things you're going to get rid of (chuck all your cutlery and crockery and the nasty microwave), one spot in the room where the things you're going to keep can go and then you can clean around.

I agree with all the other posters just bin everything you can bear to bin. If you have argos vouchers you could use you can replace you kitchen stuff very cheaply. When you buy new only buy a set with 4 place settings in (4 large plates, 4 small plates, 4 bowls). Cheap pack of 4 glasses, ditto mugs if not in dinner set.

You can do this OP. Keep filling bin bags and putting them out. Do you have anyone who could do a run to the tip with their car? Maybe a friend or neighbour could help out? If not just fill your bin then if you can, other's bins too on collection day. wink

If I lived nearby I'd help out, I love a good clear out.

WhoremoaneeGrainger Thu 13-Dec-12 13:29:23

We do the 10 minute tidy, me and DD! We put on loud music and she bops her way into sorting her things out. Helps if it can be fun,or if there is a positive goal at the end (usually Mint Aero works well with her). Go you!!!

NatashaBee Thu 13-Dec-12 13:30:11

Agree with everyone else - bin, bin, bin. If you are seeing the state of the place and recognising what needs to be done, that is a massive step in itself.

You will feel so much better too to be eating home cooked fresh food. Can't be good for either of you eating what you currently are day in day out. You've made me want a shepherd's pie too. smile

Alibabaandthe40nappies Thu 13-Dec-12 13:33:35

This thread has inspired me to get off my bum and tidy my kitchen. I've got DS1 off school poorly and the lack of routine is not suiting me.

Back in 15 minutes!

DeafLeopard Thu 13-Dec-12 13:37:03

OP so glad that you posted and got the response you didn't expect. You have come so far to get better, just take small steps.

Bin everything - if you haven't touched it in over a year you probably don't need it.

Laurie you are lovely for helping out thanks

MadSleighLady Thu 13-Dec-12 13:43:02

I would call the elephant removal people just to deal with the fridge. If it has 2 year old stuff in it, it might be a health hazard. You don't want to get dragged down by catching something now that you've started to take control.

Just joining in with the moral support - what an amazing lady you must be, you have turned that around.

<waves pom poms>

Dying to read an update from you, op now you have your bin bags!

Adviceinscotland Thu 13-Dec-12 13:54:15

Or look on gumtree/free cycle for a new fridge.

With it being near Xmas a lot of people may be looking to upgrade what they already have, I know when we got our new fridge freezer we gave the old one away for free to anyone that would collect it

AlienRefucksLooksLikeSnow Thu 13-Dec-12 13:54:51

Just wanted to join the chorus of go donewith!!!!

You are doing AMAZING, not only to start to deal with/come out of your depression, but to tackle this head on!!! Honestly, you could have walked and you haven't.

Think you should name change after today to ...... TipWithItAll..... Or, IDoneItAll!!!

Keep it up, we are all behind you, and remember Rome wasn't built in a day, your Husband will be so happy to see you on the up and up, you can get your life and home back!!!!!

DoneWithItAllNow Thu 13-Dec-12 13:57:38

One bag of crap in the bin. It was takeaway wrappers, old food wrappers and crap like that. I am wondering whether to get rid of the fridge once it is empty. I could, in theory, look at using money I will get from family at Christmas to replace it if it is insalvageable.

If I can be saved I could buy a handbag and shoes and food to fill it.

AnyaKnowIt Thu 13-Dec-12 13:58:52

No keep the fridge, get a steamer onto it. Save the xmas money for a dishwasher grin

Witchety Thu 13-Dec-12 13:59:11

Op if those elephant are local to you, then you are local ish to me!!

Do you have a local tip nearby? I have a 7 seater and can lay seats flat and take them to the tip for you?

2Old2BeAChristmasElf Thu 13-Dec-12 13:59:51

Just wanted to add my voice to the support you already have smile

This could have happened to anyone in your circumstances, keep going, you're doing great! x x x

Witchety Thu 13-Dec-12 14:00:14

The bin bags not the elephants!!

takataka Thu 13-Dec-12 14:00:45

well done! does it look better?

FivesGoldNorks Thu 13-Dec-12 14:01:29

Well done op! Hope you feel you've made a dent

Nooneelseisallowedafergus Thu 13-Dec-12 14:01:46

If the fridge is in a really bad way it is safer to replace. I remember watching an episode of 'how clean is your house?' where the fridge was so bad that even if they cleaned it they couldn't make it safe to store food ( once they'd done the swab test for harmful bacteria ).

MrsChestysGlitteryBaubles Thu 13-Dec-12 14:02:21

Good luck DoneWithIt, you will feel great sitting in your house on Christmas day, clutter free.

I had a friend, who was in a similar situation, she had a tiny kitchen with no storage and she just kept piling up and piling up the dishes as there was no where to put them. Eventually we went in to sort it. The amount of things she had for one person, too much food that then went off, too many dishes, she had about 12 mugs, you couldn't fit 12 people in that flat!

So just start buying again but only what you need, less to keep clean and stored.

Sunnywithachanceofjinglebells Thu 13-Dec-12 14:02:36

Well done OP, that's progress. grin

fairylightsandtinsel Thu 13-Dec-12 14:03:04

keep going OP, this is a fab thread, and everyone will be cheering you on. I'm fairly close but have no free time this weekend or I'd come over too. Well done to Laurie - are you actually Monica from Friends in disguise smile? Someone should send THIS to the Daily Mail!! Which journalist is it that always slags us off as harpies?

DoneWithItAllNow Thu 13-Dec-12 14:03:53

The elephant people's phone number puts them about half an hour from me. Tomorrow at about 5am our communal bins will be emptied. I intend to become really unpopular tomorrow with the neighbours by filling them again. If there is more stuff than that then I may have to think again about finding transport.

SolomanDaisy Thu 13-Dec-12 14:04:53

We used these people instead of hiring a skip:

They were brilliant. Get garden strength bin bags and chuck out everything. Then get them to collect all the bin bags!

Well done OP.

I didn't even notice that company also dealt with elephants it must be a massive trap they set for them, and can you imagine the size of cheese they would need to fill it grin

If you can salvage the fridge then yy to the handbag for yourself.

SantasLittleElfycat Thu 13-Dec-12 14:08:40

I'll third second again the 15 minute at a time thing (also a flylady follower).

I promise myself I get to sit down if I do 15 minutes first. Sometimes I do it with a spring in my step, sometimes I have to drag myself up. But I always feel the cup of tea afterwards is well deserved.

Do what you can today, and a little more tomorrow. But enjoy 15 mins with your feet up from time to time!

AlienRefucksLooksLikeSnow Thu 13-Dec-12 14:09:22

Hve a look before 5, to see if there's any space? then they can take it.

DoneWithItAllNow Thu 13-Dec-12 14:10:35

One bin bag doesn't look like it made much difference but I feel a bit better knowing that there is one bin bag less of stuff in my flat IYSWIM.

I had a look on line and I could afford a new FF if need to.

HellonHeels Thu 13-Dec-12 14:11:55

Brilliant thread! Well done OP x I always feel a lot better for a good clear out and tidy up. Hope you do too - keep it up.

FivesGoldNorks Thu 13-Dec-12 14:12:12

Do the same again and then it will be 2 bags smile
Have q quick break first though

DoneWithItAllNow Thu 13-Dec-12 14:12:52

The bins are very full at the moment. Someone moved out a couple of days ago abd I think they got rid of loads of crap. I'm popping out for a bit now (to get cleaning stuff amongst other things!) but I'll check back in later. X

Violet77 Thu 13-Dec-12 14:12:54

Go down with the rubbish before they arrive and ask very nicely if you can refill a Bin, they will just take it, they usuallly do.

Good luck, wish i was near i LOVE throwing things away.

Isabeller Thu 13-Dec-12 14:12:58

Go Done With!! I got a FF from freecycle for DPs Mum, people do throw out stuff that is fine (ie when they get a new kitchen) and many are kind enough to offer it on freecycle.

DonkeysInTheStableAtMidnight Thu 13-Dec-12 14:13:09

Came to this thread too late to offer advice but there are some kind souls on MN. thanks

OP I applaud you for getting back on your feet. I hope you feel encouraged and once you've started I hope you find the going gets easier. A small victory daily is a tremendous boost.

Have a look and see if your council will do a special uplift. Some councils are quite cheap, others are extortionate. My old council was something like £7 for 5 items but this one is £25 per item even if its a bin bag. Worth a look though.

DoubleMum Thu 13-Dec-12 14:22:50

Well done Done With! Clearing it out will be so therapeutic I promise. We had a massive clearout a couple of months ago as the house was just getting so over-full of stuff, and chucked/gave away over 30 sacks of stuff. It made me feel much better but the sad thing is I haven't missed one single item that was in those 30 sacks, so why was I giving them house space all these years?!
A fresh start for Christmas will make you (and DH) feel so much better.


Your flat is tidier now than it was when you woke up this morning.

right so you are in Bucks. PM me please!

I will come with Laurie to help. I will coordinate with Laurie and lets go from there.
No need to chuck the fridge - some bicarb of soda and a good scrub will sort it out! Lets get you sorted out for Christmas.

Ephiny Thu 13-Dec-12 14:27:46

Well done for making a start smile

WinklyVersusTheZombies Thu 13-Dec-12 14:28:31

My cleaning aim isn't perfection. It is just to make it Better. You have already made it Better - you are winning. Well done.

you have made a start - keep going, you are doing brilliantly.

FivesGoldNorks Thu 13-Dec-12 14:29:59

Jax smile
This is sounding suspiciously like a meet up envy

1 bag is a very good start, dont do too much, you will be amazed how quickly your lovely home will be back. I am sat here beaming with pride at you for takling this, well done for getting yourself better you are amazing. I was also going to offer but am at the other end of the country.

snowflakehellokitty Thu 13-Dec-12 14:37:57

well done you grin

you took the first step by posting on here grin
i have suffered from depression i also suffer from anxiety it can be so hard!!
well done on starting with the bin liners

I really wish we lived closer, I'd be happy to help.

Just remember that you can do it.

2muchxmaspud Thu 13-Dec-12 14:58:13

What a supportive thread, well done OP and well done all those with the kind words and offers of support for this lovely lady. You all need to shine your halos!!

Is there any other bins on your estate that you could pop the excess bags in when your communal bin is full? Nobody should object as it is only a one off.

Glad you have taken the first steps to taking charge of your life again and I don't know who mentioned freecycle but they were spot on for getting stuff for nothing, also charity shops for cheaper items and some deliver. I hope you have a wonderfull xmas smile

colditz Thu 13-Dec-12 14:59:27

You are doing brilliantly.

I will confess to you that I struggle with personal hygiene when depressed, and I had a shower earlier. I now feel a lot better, as it is out of the way for today. I'm not going to disclose how long it was since the last shower, but it was long enough to horrify anyone.

I totally understand how the same can apply to a kitchen, and agree with everyone saying "bin the lot and start again".

Once everything it's thrown out, you've only got surfaces to actually clean. Swab the down with bleach, TA dah! Done. Clean kitchen. Have a cake.

FivesGoldNorks Thu 13-Dec-12 15:04:23

And that last bit is important!

Even better. Bake a cake. You'll be able to soon if you keep this up.

Well done DoneWithIt.

SantasBigBaubles Thu 13-Dec-12 15:29:35

I love this thread op! Go op!

Oh well done you! Just think how amazing it will feel to have tackled this head on and not run away from it. You have already started and eventually it will get easier and easier... Huge congratulations for staying and giving it your all.

right, so I have 'spoken' to Laurie and it appears I am not too far from you OP.

fivegold hahahaaaaaaa it could well be a meet up...

anyone else in S Bucks around tomorrow to help?

ohmeohmy Thu 13-Dec-12 15:41:28

Go go go. It won't be a shit Christmas.... Seems like you've found a couple of fairies already. Keep up the good work.

chinglebellsbatmansmells Thu 13-Dec-12 15:42:50

I knew someone with a house in a similar sounding condition as yours. 3 of us went down armed with face masks, gloves and plenty of bin liners. It took 3 of us 2 full days to clear if out and get it to quite a good standard. OP, with the help of Laurie and Jax you could be sorted in no time.

Good luck and before you know it you'll be sitting down with your lovely homemade shepherds pie. smile

SeeYouSoon Thu 13-Dec-12 15:51:28

You are going to come out of this with a clean flat and two new friends in Laurie and Jax!! Fab smile well done!

2kidsintow Thu 13-Dec-12 15:52:50

Well done OP.
When you say 'I properly opened my eyes and looked around' that is a great sign that you yourself are on the mend, as when depressed it is hard to see what is going on around you, let alone care that much about it.

I hope you get all the help and support you need. xx

go laurie and jax.

LaVitaBellissima Thu 13-Dec-12 15:56:32

Brilliant, Laurie & Jax thanks

susanann Thu 13-Dec-12 16:00:01

Had to go out shortly after I posted a msg earlier. Just scanned through the msgs since then. Wow! OP you have really got it together, with some help and support. YOU SHOULD BE VERY PROUD OF YOURSELF! So pleased to see the progress you have made. You sound so much more positive now! Go Girl ! And keep us updated when you can. Take care.

Drizzleit Thu 13-Dec-12 16:17:54

This is such an uplifting thread! The fact that you've noticed it could be the depression lifting - well done for making a start!

so the bins are full... well my estate car is empty - keep filling, we can hit the tip!

Is it a bit weird that I feel all Kim & Aggie and a tiny bit excited?

susanann Thu 13-Dec-12 16:20:43

Jax I know what you mean about feeling all Kim and Aggie! A good feeling though!

JugglingMeYorkiesAndNutRoast Thu 13-Dec-12 16:24:53

We've got a friend who is struggling in a similar way - he's a carer for his partner/ GF.
Anyone know what we could do to help him ?
We've visited a couple of times in last couple of years - they live along way away from us. I'm not very practical myself although of course I've thought that we should help him ourselves.
Any other options though ?
I noticed someone posted a link to cleaning services ?
They live in Scotland BTW.

2Old2BeAChristmasElf Thu 13-Dec-12 16:34:05

Wow, the power of Mumsnet never ceases to amaze me. grin

loopylou6 Thu 13-Dec-12 16:39:13

Wow you lot are wonderful smile

saladfingers Thu 13-Dec-12 16:44:52

This is MN at it's best.
2 cleaning angels to help you have a tidy and possibly homecooked Christmas Donewithitall.
thanksJax thanks Laurie for being so local and lending a hand on our behalf

colditz Thu 13-Dec-12 16:46:39

Saladfingers, as an aside, I am gutted that you have that name, it was going to one of my 'spares'.

PostBellumBugsy Thu 13-Dec-12 16:54:05

I'm in Berks and could give you a couple of hours help on Saturday if you need it, as DCs are with their Dad.
PM me if you want me to come over with my marigolds! smile

saladfingers Thu 13-Dec-12 16:55:57

Sorry colditz,what about rustyspoons that was my next choice?

saladfingers Thu 13-Dec-12 16:57:53

Assumimg you are a David Firth fan and not just into salad?

iismum Thu 13-Dec-12 17:01:00

Just another voice to say I feel so proud of everyone on here - especially the OP for having the courage to post in the first place, to respond so positively to all the suggestions and for making the first steps towards a clutter-free life - and also all the amazing posters with their fab, inspirational suggestions and offers of help.

Feel weirdly envious of Laurie and Jax and wish I was close enough to be able to help. You two are fab!

SantaKittenClaws Thu 13-Dec-12 17:06:08

This is a lovely lovely thread! Go OP you're already winning, one bin bag at a time - how wonderful it's going to be when you make that shepherds pie!

Jax and Laurie you are both fantabulous people grin thanks

I was too far away to help when Trinity needed it - so this is my karma fairy doing her stuff.

CremeEggThief Thu 13-Dec-12 17:07:19

Go you three! We're all so proud grin.

harrietspy Thu 13-Dec-12 17:09:44

It's fab. I suspect that a lot of us posting here have experience similar to the OP.

All power to you, Jax, Laurie and Done. smile

colditz Thu 13-Dec-12 17:10:34

Lol yes, rustyspoons might cut it. Am not salad fan, I love David Firth cartoons.

Op, how are you getting on?

vintagewarrior Thu 13-Dec-12 17:11:23

You can do it OP. I'm too far away to come & help, but if I can do anything else please let me know. Depression is an utter shit, your going to get your house sorted for christmas, i can feel it!

ShakySingsMerryXmasEveryone Thu 13-Dec-12 17:11:23

Go OP! We are all right behind you, cheering you on.

I know how hard it is to take the small steps needed to even get in the shower some days.

I promise, you will feel so much better for making a start. Remember to focus on what you are achieving instead of what is left to do. You will get there, just keep on going.


starfishmummy Thu 13-Dec-12 17:16:30

Your husband has sight problems so he may be entitled to help from social services - he can ask for an assessment and you can ask for a carers assessment too. Your local CAB or Carers centre may ne able to advise.

Dotty342kids Thu 13-Dec-12 17:17:59

I've been watching this thread since earlier today and it makes me feel very proud to be part of a community who can come together and do something so "real" as well as all the fabulous virtual support.
Well done to all of you getting involved and of course to OP herself for having the courage to shout for help when she really needed it.
Hope you have a brilliant day tomorrow and that it's the start of a really positive change for the OP.

lisad123 Thu 13-Dec-12 17:18:14

Can someone pm me OP postcode, and I will see how far away I am. Happy to come and help if I'm near enough

nickelbabylyinginamanger Thu 13-Dec-12 17:19:45

you definitely need a dishwasher.

that's what you want to spend your christmas money on.
then every time you have a meal or a cuppa, put the pots in the dishwasher.
when it's quite full (but don't always wait till then), put it on.

I'm glad you've found the strength to sort out your kitchen - that's actually the hardest step.

one thing at a time is very useful.

regarding the deep cleaning - steamer in the fridge is good.

and then wipe.

i used Fairy Power spray for cooker and worktops and the sink.
spray it on, wait 10 minutes (or longer if it's really grimy) and then rub with a scouring sponge.
then rinse.
please bear in mind that it rubs off paint, so don't do what I did and merrily rub at the cooker knobs- we have to guess what temperature the oven needs to be at nowadays!

Ive PMd you lisa

Inaflap Thu 13-Dec-12 17:25:55

One bin bag today, then two tomorrow, then three by saturday, four on sunday. By this yime next week your flat will be sparkly and lets all cook cottage pie on friday to celebrate. We could have a marathon eat in!

Well done. You've been in a fog and now you are emerging. Don't demand too much of yourself. Chip away at the mountain bit by bit and you will get there. Social services will be able to help you. Ive just had an assessment from adult services for my son and they were lovely. There is a form from hell to complete but you might find you qualify for carers allowance or he might get an allowance for a personal assistant which could be someone to clean.

BonzoDooDah Thu 13-Dec-12 17:26:07

Fabulous people go Laurie and Jax - thank you for helping. I'm too far away or I'd offer too.
Good luck Donewithit - this is a brilliant start. You can do it!!

I love my dishwasher.

ariadneoliver Thu 13-Dec-12 17:43:01

What a heart warming response. I am not close enough to help practically but for tips and inspiration this website: can be helpful and totally non judgemental.

Good luck!

DoneWithItAllNow Thu 13-Dec-12 18:01:59

I finished the Christmas shopping and bought out half the cleaning supplies of Poundworld. Then I went to Costa and had brew and a pack of biscuit

And whilst I was gone you all continued to post me the most amazing messages of support. I had a quick perk at this thread whilst I was sat outside Costa but had to put my phone away because I was going to start crying again.

Believe it or not I do have a dishwasher, I think it was the first thing we bought when we moved in. It has been redundant for about 18 months now though and I think that the first packet of tablets we bought for it is still sitting on top of it half used blush

Tomorrow I have Laurie and Jax and another wonderful Mumsnetter who PM'd me (I won't name her incase she doesn't want to be 'outed') all coming over to help me. I really feel like there is going to be a breakthrough in this flat tomorrow due to their unquestioning kindness in offering to support a stranger.

This is the side of Mumsnet that is not publicised enough. This idea of women supporting each other to make life that little bit easier all round.

you should be so very very proud of yourself.

lisad123 Thu 13-Dec-12 18:08:19

Not near enough to physically help. You ladies and OP should feel very good, your doing a wonderful job.

TuftyFinch Thu 13-Dec-12 18:08:28

Well done Donewithit, you sound sooo much happier than you're first post. Well done to Laurie and Jax, and Mnetter no 3!
Good luck tomorrow grin

PickledInAPearTree Thu 13-Dec-12 18:08:54

Well done I'm so pleased for you. Imagine starting the new year with a clean flat, what a lovely start to 2013.

Onwards & upwards! grin

MrsHoarder Thu 13-Dec-12 18:10:35

Well done thanks

Best of luck in getting it sorted. I was reading this morning and coming to the "just chuck it all and start again" conclusion (half a dozen others beat me to it) so I'm so glad you are doing. And yes, this is the best side of the nest of vipers.

jessiegeesusinamanger Thu 13-Dec-12 18:11:20

You've done the hardest part OP, which is making a start. The thought of doing something can build up so much, especially when you're depressed, that it becomes almost impossible to even imagine starting to sort something out. So HUGELY well done.

You say that to look at you etc, people would think you were 'normal'. You ARE normal. Anyone can get depressed. The situation you are in could happen to any one of us.

So pleased you posted and that people have been able to give you some support. I live oop North or I'd be round with a pack of j cloths. But like so many others, I'm willing you on and hoping that you will soon both be tucking into your home-made shepherd's pie, on a box fresh set of plates, in your newly clean and tidy flat. When I moved into my housing assoc flat it was really in need of a lot of cleaning and freshening up. It was suprising how quickly it got sorted though and how soon it began to look like home, even though it is on the cold/damp side it soon became a homely place to be. Good luck on your mission.
Big unmumsnetty hugs.

fairylightsandtinsel Thu 13-Dec-12 18:11:59

please come back tomorrow and tell us how it went and what a sparkly kitchen you have. x

Fab smile. A wonderful, fantastic, thread.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Thu 13-Dec-12 18:14:52

Awwww i'm always so touched by the kindness of mums netters. Is good to know if you find yourself in a tough situation there is a whole bunch of people ready to help.

Good luck with the clean tomorrow. I hope it goes swimmingly smile

SantyClaws Thu 13-Dec-12 18:15:04

this has warmed my cockles, i tell you

good luck tomorrow

fussychica Thu 13-Dec-12 18:15:30

You lot are so bloody amazing - MN at it's best. Jax Laurie and all the other fairygodnetters - may you have a wonderful Christmas 'cos you're certainly going to give Done the best chance she can of having a great one too thanks

racingheart Thu 13-Dec-12 18:16:00


I've not read all the posts but it seems people are being lovely and supportive. I'm so glad. You're not horrible You've been so unwell. you need lots of help. There are loads of companies who will come in and clean. And they are understanding. Being unable to clean your home is a recognised side effect of mental illness. But you will feel better once it's in order. And whoever puts int in order, all you need to do is follow Flylady's basic tips to keep it that way.

Where are you? I'd love to help you.


Alibabaandthe40nappies Thu 13-Dec-12 18:17:19

What a lovely thread. And OP well done for accepting some help.

I think we are all fed all these messages of how self-sufficient we should be and not need practical support, but life doesn't always agree.

Have a fabulous day tomorrow and let us all know how you get on smile

Plomino Thu 13-Dec-12 18:17:52

How fantastic. Well done you for putting so much effort in. You can do it and you will. I'm really really proud of you . In a viperish kind of way of course .

GreenEggsAndNichts Thu 13-Dec-12 18:19:53

hurrah, lovely smile A good clear-out is a good start, and it helps to get some outsiders who are detached from the personal stuff. Eventually, you can get in some cleaners if you want to get the finishing touches done. Like get someone to come in and steam the carpets if they've been underneath piles of stuff for ages, for example.

My house doesn't look like yours but my fathers has (or, very close) before, and I know what a project it can be. And I know how easy it is to become blind to it.

Good luck, ladies. Count me as another who had a tear in her viperish eye.

TeamBacon Thu 13-Dec-12 18:21:58

What an amazing thread !

fuzzpig Thu 13-Dec-12 18:22:52

Mumsnet is so totally fucking awesome isn't it! <sniff>

Will be thinking of you all tomorrow. thanks

SoHHKB Thu 13-Dec-12 18:23:51

Wow, you all just inspired me to go wipe my worktops grin
Well done OP, thanks thanks to you all and LONG LIVE MN! smile

I need to know who the other person is - y'know for tea/coffee purposes.

I will have my phone with me, so will MN whilst cleaning... I do it (MNing) during most other things so we can update as we go.

BoiledEggandToastSoldiers Thu 13-Dec-12 18:26:05

Yay, grin wine all round.

Good luck to you all tomorrow - lovely thread and am so excited for Donewithitall to have a new, improved, cleaner flat tomorrow.

Hope you ladies have some fun with music and biscuits and the like while you clean.

ThePlEWhoLovedMe Thu 13-Dec-12 18:29:45

Just sobbed my way through this thread.

What wonderful people you all are.

OP good luck tomorrow !!

Tabliope Thu 13-Dec-12 18:30:37

OP - I'm so pleased you're getting help. If I lived closer I'd be happy to do a few hours of clearing stuff and cleaning. Once it's all done could you afford a cleaner for a couple of hours a week? It would mean someone coming into your home every week or fortnight but that might be an incentive to stay mostly on top of things plus take some of the pressure off you. Sorry if someone else has suggested this, I haven't read all the threads. You will feel fantastic once it's all done. Small steps at a time after that.

thanks to the lovely, lovely ladies helping out. And well done OP. You are all amazing xxx

CelticPromise Thu 13-Dec-12 18:34:16

Youse lot are brilliant. And OP, you're brilliant. Looking forward to updates, and a clean home for you for Christmas!

Helenagrace Thu 13-Dec-12 18:34:58

Lovely thread - proving yet again how amazing Mumsnet is.

Good luck OP and to those helping tomorrow.

C0smos Thu 13-Dec-12 18:38:39

What a fantastic heartwarming thread - I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Good luck for tomorrow.

rhondajean Thu 13-Dec-12 18:40:34

This is lovely. I'm way up in Scotland but I would have loved to come help if I could.

Op, its so easy to let this slide, and before you know it, it's out of control and you feel worse and so you let it slide some more (been there!)

I bet your new shiny flat will help you feel better.

garlicbaubles Thu 13-Dec-12 18:40:38

Bookmarking because I'm looking forward to your updates smile
Good luck, all, hope you have fun with your work!

Jacaqueen Thu 13-Dec-12 18:43:40

I am feeling a bit emotional today and this thread has just turned me into a blubbering wreck.

It has also motivated me to get on and get a bit of serious cleaning done.

Phacelia Thu 13-Dec-12 18:44:11

Good luck, op! What a brave thing to do, posting what you did. You have nothing to be ashamed of and I can imagine there are loads of people in your situation.

I hope within a few days you'll have a lovely sparkling clean flat that will put you on the right path for the future. Once it's clean, I hope you can get on the landlord's case, or find somewhere new for a fresh start (and no damp!)

I find cleaning hard due to a disability. A carer does most but it's hard not to let things get cluttered so I definitely spend a few minutes each day when I'm up putting just one or two things away and that helps. Far less daunting than doing it all in one go.

Dont worry everyone - once Laurie, Donewithitall and I (and anyone else who pops along) have got it sorted we will go all gangsta Kim n Aggie on her ass and make up cleaning charts and get her on the flylady threads!


ShoeJunkie Thu 13-Dec-12 18:45:06

Fab thread smile
Happy cleaning tomorrow ladies thanks

MammaTJ Thu 13-Dec-12 18:45:40

This is a wonderful thread.

Cailleach Thu 13-Dec-12 18:45:51

Cor bloody hell, I'm itching to get cracking on your house... and if I didn't live miles away in effin' Yorkshire I'd be round chez vous toute suite with armfuls of bleach and a slightly maniacal expression on me face. I'm a cleaning junkie. I'd bring my neat-freak mate Debbie too, but she lives in Scotland now so that's out of the question... god, we'd love to do your house. Give us a bag of rags and some soap and we're happy as larks...true story, some people LOVE cleaning.

We're weird, I know.

Seeing as you're too far away from us for us to be of much use to you, here's what I'd do if I was in your shoes.

I'd get a skip, park it outside and throw absolutely fecking everything into it...dirty dishes, prehistoric casserole, the lot. Just save the stuff that's not too heavily soiled and is easy to wash: pots and pans are cheap enough to replace these days, ditto cutlery. Throw it all out - anything that's past it's best, OUT. Once the place is a blank slate, or as good as, start cleaning.

The problem here is that you don't know where to start, and shifting stuff around endlessly whilst you fiddle around, cleaning round the ages is going to take ages and you haven't got the energy for that.

Hire a skip. Then, dig down deep inside you until you find the bit marked "BERSERKER RAGE", then go mental, and throw your old life out.

It's always starting this sort of stuff that takes the most effort: if you can just get going, and keep going, then it will be a few hours of slogging, but it will be so worth it in the end.

Best of luck!



MerryChristmasEverybody Thu 13-Dec-12 18:49:48

Marking my place. You are an amazing lady!

diddlediddledumpling Thu 13-Dec-12 18:50:55

What beautiful people you all are. You make the world a better place.
OP good luck for tomorrow and I hope you have a fantastic Christmas.

Birnamwood Thu 13-Dec-12 18:51:59

I envy mumsnet

GimmeIrnBru Thu 13-Dec-12 18:52:18

What a lovely thread to read!! Good luck for tomorrow, we are all thinking of you! grin

Birnamwood Thu 13-Dec-12 18:53:04

Eh? That was meant to say I love mumsnet bloody app

Wow! I've just come across this thread and can I say what a lovely bunch of vipers you are. As I said on another thread we vipers are best at things like supporting other vipers.

Ladies, have a good day tomorrow and I hope you get lots done, you are all stars.

thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks

Chubfuddler Thu 13-Dec-12 19:02:14

What a lovely thread. I would defo ditch the fridge op, with a two year old casserole in it it would provably be of interest to portion down. Sling the contents and get the council to take it away, they still so that sort if thing but there might be a small charge (it's a tenner here). Then get yourself on freecycle or gumtree to find a replacement. Loads of otople replace white goods about now so there are bargains. Also don't know if there is one near you but there's a British heart foundation furniture and electrical goods shop in our nearest town, all electrical goods properly checked.

Chuck the microwave too, a simple one is about forty quid these days.

cocolepew Thu 13-Dec-12 19:04:31

Lovely thread smile

Ruprekt Thu 13-Dec-12 19:05:07

Wow! What a fab thread!

swooosh Thu 13-Dec-12 19:06:19

good luck tomorrow grin

Nest of vipers? Pah! MN rocks. What an amazing thread. Please update us tomorrow.

Mn at its absolute best smile

Good luck with the cleaning and sorting op. I also suffer from depression and anxiety and my house has gotten on top of me. This thread has inspired me to make a start too. Thank you op

notnagging Thu 13-Dec-12 19:16:50

Op treat yourself to m&s for Christmas, it won't cost much for the 2 of you & it's a £20 deposit. Deadline is Saturday. Don't worry about stressing yourself out about cooking at Christmas.i have suffered from depression in the past & now I just say no to things that I know will cause me stress. With 5ds' the state of my house gets to me sometimes but I just chuck things out or flog loads on eBay. Very therapeutic grin

Lushgreenfields Thu 13-Dec-12 19:22:55

Promise you'll take before and after pictures of your kitchen? Then bit by bit you can do the same for each room.

catsrus Thu 13-Dec-12 19:24:16

well vipers generally only bite when they are threatened anyway or a tad peckish but lets forget that bit

flowersflowersflowersflowers Well done those who are turning up tomorrow to help - and well done OP for getting to the point where you can do something grin

I have a good friend in the USA and she and one of her more local friends have a deal where they blitz each other's houses when needed. She says it turns into a great catch-up and can be fun hmm. Def better than tackling it yourself!

report back and tell us how shiny it all looks once done smile

ParsingFancy Thu 13-Dec-12 19:28:21

You lovely nest of wipers!

VicarInaTutuDrankSantasSherry Thu 13-Dec-12 19:44:11

best of luck tomorrow ladies - OP do you know where you local tip is? i would load whatever you can into cars (with the help of the lovely ladies on here) and take it all to the local dump it site - then start again as you mean to go on.

your doing great OP. well done for doing it - what amazing progress you are making!

GoldQuintessenceAndMyhrr Thu 13-Dec-12 19:48:25

Good luck tomorrow guys! smile

This wonderful to read - a real lift if you're feeling down.

Bloody big pat on the back OP for being so brave to post about it. Don't forget to open a couple of windows or the whole lot of you will be passed out from cleaning product fumes.......grin

Tiggerfeet Thu 13-Dec-12 19:57:56

Heart warming thread xx

duende Thu 13-Dec-12 20:00:51

At least twice a week I think to myself "I bloody love mumsnet!"
You lot are incredible.
Laurie I want to buy you flowers!
OP, well done for facing up to it and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you smile

StNickHasHisXmasTeakozyOn Thu 13-Dec-12 20:02:31

Whenever I see a thread like this I think Nest Of Vipers? Righty ho.

Really brave of you to post your OP, and I'm just overawed at the support you've received. When I write my autobiography this thread will be the chapter titled "Why I Love Mumsnet".

TobyLerone Thu 13-Dec-12 20:06:32

I bloody love this thread. Can't wait to hear how it went and to know if any of you lot want to come round and tile my bathroom grin

SoftKittyWarmKitty Thu 13-Dec-12 20:06:53

What an amazing thread! If I lived closer I'd love to help but I'm about 200 miles away. I'll be at work tomorrow but will be willing you all on in your cleaning mission and will catch up with your progress tomorrow evening.

Have lots of brew to keep you going.

AlmostAChristmasHipster Thu 13-Dec-12 20:15:07

Bloody Hell! How fantastic!! I feel all mushy now. When I'm under the black cloud, housework is the first thing to slide so it's so easily done to get into a lot bit of a state.

Good for you, OP, and a big snog to your cleaning fairies! grin

Have a decluttertastic time tomorrow!

weblette Thu 13-Dec-12 20:15:34

Jax or Laurie can you PM me, I'm S Bucks too. I'm working tomorrow but will be able to find some down time to help.

whattodoo Thu 13-Dec-12 20:18:04

I'm working tomorrow, otherwise I'd have offered to come round.

So instead i'm going to put some tunes on the minute i get home and give my kitchen the scrub of its life in honour of donewithitall, Laurie, Jax and mumsnetters everywhere.

MulledPinot Thu 13-Dec-12 20:18:47

Oh my goodness, tears are falling reading this!

Laurie, Jax and The Other One™ ( grin ) you are superstars. You've warmed my heart, truly.

OP, I have depression too - you must not, repeat MUST NOT, blame yourself for this situation. The only way is forwards now, OK? Move forward xx

xMinerva Thu 13-Dec-12 20:23:38

Well, I was asleep through most of this thread (NZ) but what a wonderful thread to wake up to.

I can't help obviously, but I look forward to updates and wish you all the best.

You lovely lot of vipers. thanks

I live miles away so can't physically help, but I've suggested MN Towers talk to their friends at Method and see if they can wangle cleaning products for the OP, Laurie & Jax. Lovely Kate Mumsnet is going to ask so 'no pressure' Method but we're all counting on you!

harrietspy Thu 13-Dec-12 20:28:08

I'll be with you in spirit. I have a stack of metaphorical unwashed dishes that I have been ignoring. The 15 minute rule rules!

bigkidsdidit Thu 13-Dec-12 20:36:56

Oh what a lovely thread.

I think we all recognise the feeling in your OP, of life getting tough and letting something slide a bit and all of a sudden it's unsurmountable.
With me it's not cleaning, but admin. I panic about openin emails, bank statements, that sort of thing. Some work emails I haven't opened for a year blush

Good luck tomorrow. Can't wait to hear about it smile

GrannyRatAteAllTheMincePies Thu 13-Dec-12 20:39:45

What an amazing thread, good luck OP and the Cleaning Angels

Great idea, ATruth COME ON METHOD!!!

ZebraInHiding Thu 13-Dec-12 20:41:49

What a great thread! Take before and after photos (for yourself, not us!) To remind yourself how far you have come. smile

Well done to jax and laurie!

peachypips Thu 13-Dec-12 20:43:42

So excited for you OP for your new life about to start! You have done the hard work by battling through sucky depression (have had it severely so know how hard it is to do anything at all) and now you are being rewarded for your hard slog by others helping you. You deserve it- have some champers and a lindor when ur finished!

Rudolphstolemycarrots Thu 13-Dec-12 20:46:39

I know this isn't on the same scale but I just wanted to say that my house was an utter tip and it really got on top of me. Piles of stuff everywhere. Over the last 6 months I have basically worked through the house, chucking almost everything into bin bags to throw away and arranging storage. I have been ruthless and only kept a few things. I feel so different now, it has really helped declutter my head! good luck. You can do it and soon you will be addicted to throwing things out!

Rudolphstolemycarrots Thu 13-Dec-12 20:56:41

Can you drive bags of rubbish to the local dump? Also bag up better stuff for charity shops and deliver.

NickNacks Thu 13-Dec-12 21:03:56

If you need more help please pm me the area, I think I'm close too. (different county but if my geography isn't too shit, you might be quite close). smile

DameFannyGallopsBEHINDyou Thu 13-Dec-12 21:04:55

I'm not tearing up at the thread, it's hayfever ok?

HildaOgden Thu 13-Dec-12 21:12:51

I really wish I lived near you to an odd way,I'm jealous of the girls who are meeting up with are all going to feel bloody fantastic when you see the results!!

Well done,*Donewithit*for having the balls to open up.And well done to the ladies who hopped in and restore my faith in the sisterhood smile

PickledInAPearTree Thu 13-Dec-12 21:13:52

Oh! I can use this on this thread without being pass-ag. smilesmile

AdoraJingleBells Thu 13-Dec-12 21:14:40


You are doing fantastically well, well done. And well done too for sticking your hand up when needed some help. Once things are organised you might find the Flylady approach helpful, the website gives tips on making all housework jobs manageable. Sorry if I'm repeating what some else has already said. thanks and wine

Well done too to Laura Jax and the other MNer. I would join you but I'm half way round the planet. You lot had me sniffling in the coffee shop this afternoon, and you call yourselves vipers confused- pah!

You lot are fab smile

Pendipidy Thu 13-Dec-12 22:03:25

well done for helping and accepting help x x

HeadfirstForAMistletoeKiss Thu 13-Dec-12 22:08:52

How wonderful smile . I know how bad things can get with depression, you have no motivation to do things, and then the things not being done overwhelm you and make you feel worse! But you CAN do it, and how fantastic to have some lovely mumsnetters to help kick start the way to your happier house and happier you xx

LewisFan Thu 13-Dec-12 22:12:15

I know I'm late to the party but my house is EXACTLY the same sad

I am so glad Laurie and the others have offered to help - you're gonna break the back of it, for sure

glastocat Thu 13-Dec-12 22:13:03

Lovely thread!

wishIKnew Thu 13-Dec-12 22:20:05

Ahhh great thread! Where are you Lewisfan - so many keen means on this thread - one might be able to help?

wishIKnew Thu 13-Dec-12 22:20:23

beans agrrgh

I'll be thinking of you all tomorrow. DoneItAllNow you can do this!

A wonderful thread smile

This thread has made me feel so warm despite the weather.

You lovely lot thanks

Well done OP, on accepting help. It's a sign of strength x

ShakySingsMerryXmasEveryone Thu 13-Dec-12 22:32:56

This thread sums up why I just LOVE Mumsnet!

Bloody vipers grin

FurdyCone Thu 13-Dec-12 23:14:52

I've been watching this thread all day. It warms my heart. GO OP and all the helpers. Just fantastic. You lot are bloody brilliant!

LemonMousstletoeandWine Thu 13-Dec-12 23:42:25

This is the most lovely heartwarming thread I've seen in a long time. What truly lovely 'vipers' there are on here.

I wish I lived nearer so I could join in with the practical help but sending virtual good wishes and support and thanks

This thread has given me the warm fuzzy glows and inspired me to tackle my own heap

I've just read through this thread and shed a tear

You lot are fucking amazing

mummyplonk Thu 13-Dec-12 23:55:55

Am so pleased you posted OP, good luck you lovely ladies tomm can't wait to hear how you Christmas Angels get on.

seasaltsgreetings Thu 13-Dec-12 23:59:29

Good luck. You will feel so much better by this time tomorrow.

louistheseventeenth Fri 14-Dec-12 00:04:42

What a lovely thread.

I love MN.

I will be thinking of you all tomorrow whilst tackling the mould i've been ignoring on the bathroom sealant, please update!

CordeliaChase Fri 14-Dec-12 00:15:26

I only read the first post, and had to comment. There must be someone around to help. I'm a absolute cleaning fanatic, I actually wish I lived near you so I could pull on my trusty rubber gloves and get scrubbing smile yep I'm an absolute weirdo aren't I haha! You clearly have a lot of love for your dh, I really hope you haven't/don't leave him

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Fri 14-Dec-12 00:30:06

I'm getting a bit teary now Op, I'm in the Highlands but I'd have loved to come and help.
I know exactly how you feel, but I always just manage to keep on top of things.
It's just so hard to know where to start, and before you know it you're surrounded by mess.
This is such a lovely thread, I hope all goes well.

FiercePanda Fri 14-Dec-12 00:49:36

<dabs eyes> MN has the kindest vipers. Good luck tomorrow, OP and lovely vipers helping out. You won't recognise the place once it's all done. Depression is an agonising condition, I'm another sufferer and I can completely understand how you feel. That's the past, though. Tomorrow things change for the better. Make sure you've got a treat waiting for when you're all done! brewthanks

GoodKingWenSOLOslas Fri 14-Dec-12 01:21:32

Inspiring me to get sorting tomorrow too. Good luck OP and helpers smile

EmpressOfTheNorthPole Fri 14-Dec-12 01:42:55

Brilliant thread, it's inspired me to do the living room tomorrow.

Did anyone notice that PostBellumBugsy said she was in Berks and offered to help too ?

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Fri 14-Dec-12 01:44:42

I hope you have a good day tomorrow.

Jax you should take some dishwasher cleaner with you - you can stick it on a couple of clean cycles while you are there so that it's shiney and clean for the new dishes smile

I'd love to come too (I'm quite a drive away, but I wouldn't normally mind) but I'm supporting one friend with a newborn (& 2 yr old twins), one whose Mum is in hospital (3 kids) and one who is about to have a baby (I'm on 'toddler watch' for them) so I can't venture too far from home!

I'll be thinking of you all and checking in to see how you are doing! With lots of (sadly only virtual) brew & [biscuits]

butterflyexperience Fri 14-Dec-12 03:47:42

So pleased for the OP smile

CouthyMowEatingBraiiiiinz Fri 14-Dec-12 04:14:31


LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops Fri 14-Dec-12 06:42:54

Good luck today OP...thinking of you and your lovely Christmas helpers. Hold that shepherd's pie thought, it won't be long..

Hopengloooooooooooooooria Fri 14-Dec-12 06:49:03

Keep going OP. today is going to be a good day

SpanielFace Fri 14-Dec-12 07:10:48

I just wanted to say good luck for today, I can't wait to hear how you get on! You are doing brilliantly, this is the first step to your new life.

takataka Fri 14-Dec-12 07:11:14

How exciting! Good luck ladies thanks

RarelyUnreasonable Fri 14-Dec-12 07:28:56

Good luck today ladies! <wipes tear from eye>. Am there in spirit, but too far away to come and help - plus the toddler and newborn would only wreak havoc! Look forward to the updates later.

Ive got some chipping and taking it along, my dishwasher is like my third baby. grin

wheredidiputchristmas Fri 14-Dec-12 07:32:48

Good luck today. I wish I was nearer or had a car today to come and help you today.

Perhaps we can ask MNHQ to change the title Today I Am Packing A Bag And Leaving My Rubbish Outside

Just think by the time new year comes you will have a lovely tidy, clean house.

Just checking my phone app works

SchmancyPants Fri 14-Dec-12 07:38:54

Good luck ladies! Can't wait for updates smile

sadsong Fri 14-Dec-12 07:46:28

I've been reading your thread since the beginning and I'm so pleased you've got some practical support. Half the battle is the realisation isn't it. You are not alone anymore. smile

aristocat Fri 14-Dec-12 07:50:42

Good luck today ladies, I would offer to help to but I am too far away.

have a great day you 4 smile new freinds and a lovely clean house.

fledtoscotland Fri 14-Dec-12 07:52:52

Mumsnet rocks!

Good luck today OP- wish I loved closer or I would help too

Plomino Fri 14-Dec-12 07:52:59

Good luck ladies! Today is a whole new day. Will be mopping my floors in solidarity .

Snazzyfeelingfestive Fri 14-Dec-12 07:59:56

Good luck today! Not near you but will do some work on my own house which is also in a state. Bin bags ahoy.

Blending Fri 14-Dec-12 08:00:07

Just wanted to say op, I hope you have woken this morning feeling slightly more positive. Yes it is over-whelming the support that has been offered through this thread. Yes you do deserve it.

It's a good sign that you recognised your living conditions are less than ideal. When you are fully in the depths of despair and depression you really wouldn't care.

Good luck to everyone today x

Good luck today OP.

I'd be popping by with rubber gloves and bleach and coffees for all if I lived closer.

Snazzyfeelingfestive Fri 14-Dec-12 08:01:16

Good luck today! Not near you but will do some work on my own house which is also in a state. Bin bags ahoy.

BatInASantaHat Fri 14-Dec-12 08:03:10

Good luck today all of you! I read this whole thread while feeding my baby at 5am and even after he'd dropped off to sleep I was still reading with a tear in my eye! Makes me feel all warm and Christmassy! Looking forward to the updates today!

seventheaven Fri 14-Dec-12 08:10:38

Such a heart warming thread! Good luck Donewith I hope you have a sparkly home very soon. (((Hugs))) to all.

starfishmummy Fri 14-Dec-12 08:12:09

Thinking of you all today, the wonderful volunteers and Donewithitallnow.

Good luck today everyone. I've got this vision that you're going to get this kitchen sorted. But in the back of my mind i'm hoping beyond hope that you manage just a little bit more.

This is such a positive pisitive thread and a lovely read. Please please keep us all updated. I so want to hear about the final results at the end.

Good luck today. x

YoucanringmySleighBells Fri 14-Dec-12 08:31:10

Good Luck today!!! Not long and Christmas will be all Sparkly for you!

To all of you WELL DONE thanks


DonkeysInTheStableAtMidnight Fri 14-Dec-12 08:32:38

It's like a summer's day in winter, good luck everyone and good wishes to DoneWithItAllNow and your DH.

HRH008 Fri 14-Dec-12 08:33:53

You have inspired me to get the bin bags out here too!

Hope you have an excellent day ladies. flowersflowersflowersflowers

newtonupontheheath Fri 14-Dec-12 08:34:53

Good luck today!

<shamefully marking place>

Has somebody got the gin cakes??

Dotty342kids Fri 14-Dec-12 08:38:33

So looking forward to the updates on this today!

WankbadgersBauble Fri 14-Dec-12 08:38:39

Oh, I wish I was closer! Good luck, OP.

This thread is fantastic grin Good luck today, hope it goes well!

addictedismoving Fri 14-Dec-12 08:42:07

Its not often I read an op and cry, but I (and obviously everyone else) could feel your dispair and desparation.
You have done an amazing job and have taken some MASSIVE steps, recognising the mess and then accepting help. I really hope you get the kitchen sorted today and you can find the energy and enthusiam for life again.
THis is most definitly mumsnet at it finest. from where I'm sitting I see no vipers, just lovely kind hearted generous people who despratly want to help make other peoples lives just that little bit better. This is why I stay on mumsnet thanks

TeWisBeenNargledByTheMistletoe Fri 14-Dec-12 08:46:18

Good luck today! You are all wonderful.

deXavia Fri 14-Dec-12 08:46:24

Shamelessly marking place! I love a good cleaning thread grin

DoneWith - good luck today- I'm sure The MN cleaning squad will be firm but fair with you, so maybe a few wobbly moments for you but here is hoping this be step 1 of a whole fabulous journey.

lauries I'm in Maidenhead, if you are sorting out a cleaning crew, and its near in Bucks to me, sign me up. Have mop and bucket, will travel!

If you need to ditch the stuff in your kitchen, you could, depending on how you feel, sign up for Freegle/Freecycle in your local area. You don't have to explain anything, just post a "wanted" ad for a free fridge and/or other bits and bobs.

We are here for you OP. I have been in that situation, feeling like it was all getting on top of me, my ds has health problems and I had a full epic mental breakdown 4 years back. BUT it does get better.

Please feel free to let me know where you are x

Yoghurty Fri 14-Dec-12 08:50:48


AppleOgies Fri 14-Dec-12 08:55:36

Good luck today...

adeucalione Fri 14-Dec-12 08:58:21

Good luck today! If I lived nearer I'd be there like a shot...I love cleaning. Looking forward to updates...shiny clean house for Christmas!

kiwigirl42 Fri 14-Dec-12 09:06:28

good luck today everyone

MulledPinot Fri 14-Dec-12 09:12:17

I've nominated this thread for Classics - it sums up all that is good about Mumsnet, IMO.

I was thinking about this all last night - wishing you all well today and wishing I was closer so I could help. The spirit in that house today will be incredible


ShoeJunkie Fri 14-Dec-12 09:13:52

Is it wrong that I'm excited about reading the cleaning updates today?! smile

Good luck guys. Let us know how you get on. Hopefully you can play some Christmas tunes loudly whilst you work! grin

exiledmancityfan Fri 14-Dec-12 09:18:24

Good cleaning today grin

AlmostAChristmasHipster Fri 14-Dec-12 09:18:34

Have a great day, ladies!

WandaDoff Fri 14-Dec-12 09:19:06

Lovely thanks

BellaVita Fri 14-Dec-12 09:19:45

Good luck!

Jacaqueen Fri 14-Dec-12 09:29:59

I am ridiculously excited about this thread.

NessunDorma Fri 14-Dec-12 09:32:49

Good luck!

LadyFlumpalot Fri 14-Dec-12 09:36:05

Oh! I do love this place sometimes! Thank you OP for posting this, you e not only reminded me to take my Citralopram this morning, but opened my eyes up to the mess my house is descending into.

OP, you are an incredibly brave lady and everyone else is very lovely. Good luck today! What a wonderful thread. smile

CremeEggThief Fri 14-Dec-12 09:36:41

Please update us when you get a chance. Good luck!

ComradeJing Fri 14-Dec-12 09:36:46

Happy cleaning smile

Good luck today Cleaning Crew!

Bobolbach Fri 14-Dec-12 09:41:18

Fab thread. Well done everyone. I hope this goes some way to making your life a bit easier.
Good luck today

Good luck all.

Jax sent you a PM

Good luck to you all today, you are all bloody lovely thanks

DoneWithItAllNow Fri 14-Dec-12 10:03:42

Good Morning! I am ready and terrified! I am excited about what is going to happen today but also so embarrassed about the fact that I am letting these lovely people into my terrible home blush

I have got some cake ready and one of my lovely crew is even bringing a kettle and tea/coffee.

Thank you again for all your support. I luffs each and every one of you so much right now! I had a good talk with DH last night. Taking sets to get this sorted seemed to make me feel braver about discussing other stuff with him too! We have agreed a

dontmixthecolours Fri 14-Dec-12 10:05:57

Good luck. Was lurking on this thread yesterday. I think mumsnet is brilliant

DoneWithItAllNow Fri 14-Dec-12 10:06:34

Nervous fingers. Pressed post too soon. Try again...

Good Morning! I am ready and terrified! I am excited about what is going to happen today but also so embarrassed about the fact that I am letting these lovely people into my terrible home blush

I have got some cake ready and one of my lovely crew is even bringing a kettle and tea/coffee.

Thank you again for all your support. I luffs each and every one of you so much right now! I had a good talk with DH last night. Taking sets to get this sorted seemed to make me feel braver about discussing other stuff with him too! We have agreed a plan to try and be debt free and in a new home by the end of 2013 and I think we might just get there... smile

AppleOgies Fri 14-Dec-12 10:06:45

It's too late to nominate for Christmas Mumsnet thing... But cleaners you all deserve a big bottle of wine and a hug!

YoucanringmySleighBells Fri 14-Dec-12 10:06:48

Done - do not be terrified. These ladies LOVE to clean. They will be in their element. If i were near I would be there like a shot - your house is a dream to me grin

All will be well lovely lady x

AlienRefucksLooksLikeSnow Fri 14-Dec-12 10:06:53

Aw, guys you are doing such a wonderful thing for donewith you are really amazing!

donewith I'm so so happy you have taken up the offers of help, that takes a lot of courage, I hope you get loads done today, and have plenty of laughs along the way!

Can't wait for the updates either grin

aufaniae Fri 14-Dec-12 10:08:04

Wishing you luck for today, what a great thread smile

MadameBoolala Fri 14-Dec-12 10:11:41

Best of luck today smile

DoneWith you are so brave. I hope you wobble through ok today. You have loads of support here.

I'm so pleased you aren't shutting your dh out because communication is the key.

Well done to Jax, Laurie and the anonymous one grin and a huge well done and a hug to you DoneWith.

tunnocksteacake Fri 14-Dec-12 10:14:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BellaOfTheBalls Fri 14-Dec-12 10:18:05

I am sobbing reading this. OP good luck. To those that are helping; you are truly wonderful women. I salute you all.

thanks to you all. Nest of vipers my arse.

gnushoes Fri 14-Dec-12 10:20:42

Not near enough to help but with you in spirit -- your kitchen is going to look amazing!

FurdyCone Fri 14-Dec-12 10:23:11

Donewith don't be terrified... I think the whole of Mumsnet is supporting you right now! Have a great, productive day

pootlebug Fri 14-Dec-12 10:23:26

Good luck today! I love this thread. Will be back for updates and trying to do a bit of decluttering here too

FiercePanda Fri 14-Dec-12 10:25:04

This thread has inspired me to strip the beds, take all the laundry downstairs and SORT IT OUT rather than leave it in a basket for ages.

I have no proper hip sockets, so need to take a shitload of painkillers just so I can do this, but it'll be worth it.

Good luck OP and your little helpers! Will there be photos of the finished kitchen...?

Idlegirl83 Fri 14-Dec-12 10:25:40

Marking my place ready for updates! Mumsnet is such a great place, shame it gets such a slating from places like the Daily Mail. What do they know, eh?! smile

aJumpedUpChristmasElf Fri 14-Dec-12 10:28:03

What a lovely thread. Good luck to donewith and her lovely band of helpers.
I wish I was close enough to help.
I shall have to clean my utility room in an act of solidarity.

What an amazing thread! Good luck today OP and helpers. Looking forward to reading updates!

TrickyWoo Fri 14-Dec-12 10:40:53

Good luck!

BigGiantCowWithAKnockKnockTail Fri 14-Dec-12 10:41:02

Wow! I've got up this morning feeling all sorry for myself but now I've read this thread it's made me feel so much more positive about life. There are some incredibly warm and generous people out there.

Laurie, Jax and anonymous MNer, you're brilliant for what you're doing, and DoneWith good for you for accepting the help. That really does take guts. Good luck to you, have a wonderful Christmas and all the best to your and your DH for a really positive 2013 smile thanks

rumbelina Fri 14-Dec-12 10:44:24

They should make a Christmas film about this. The feel good factor is through the roof.

Enjoy your fresh new world smile

BeyondStuffedWithXmassyGoodies Fri 14-Dec-12 10:44:38

Wishing you all luck today smile and have fun too!

vintageviolets Fri 14-Dec-12 10:46:55


You can do it xxxxxxx

BabylonElf Fri 14-Dec-12 10:47:25

Good luck today, if I was closer I too would be there to help as I actually enjoy cleaning and housework.

I helped my best friend do hers 12 months ago. Like you she was suffering depression and it had just got on top of her. It was in a pretty bad state tbh, but we did it together. I didn't and don't judge her, but her life is so different to what it was back then.

I hope it all goes well today and you reclaim a little of your home and life back smile

RockinAroundThePigeonsTreet Fri 14-Dec-12 10:50:50

I never thought I would get soo excited and tearful at a cleaning thread. Wishing all of you a fabulously productive day.

Mumsnet at it's best. Magic.

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Fri 14-Dec-12 10:54:29

Good luck to everybody today.
I will also await update tonight.
Meanwhile I'll tidy my own tip in solidarity.

nickelbabylyinginamanger Fri 14-Dec-12 10:54:39

Have fun today, all of you - by the end of it, you'll feel a step closer to happier, and cleaner! grin

DoneWithItAllNow Fri 14-Dec-12 10:56:26

I am so nervous I have the shakes! But in a good way if that is possible. I don't think I've felt so hopeful about something in a long, long time!

I also now need to mention a further lovely MNer, Chas who has just offered to send us pizza for lunch.

MulledPinot Fri 14-Dec-12 10:58:58

((((((DoneWithIt)))))) One step at a time x

WinklyVersusTheZombies Fri 14-Dec-12 11:00:45

Pizza. Yum. Nice one chas

Good luck today. Have you taken a 'before' photo?

nickelbabylyinginamanger Fri 14-Dec-12 11:01:20

pizza's good - healthy and filling workers' food with no washing up! grin

wow just read the whole thread and the best of luck today! amazing...

adeucalione Fri 14-Dec-12 11:03:07

This is such a lovely thread. What amazing people there are on here.

This thread is lovely, hope today goes well for you

Ive been lurking on this thread. happy cleaning day well done Donewith for speaking out, enjoy your pizza everyone helping you are all amazing! I love mumsnet!

What a lovely thread, you are an amazing nest of vipers. I can't wait to hear how it goes. It will be lovely for DoneWithItAll to have a lovely clean and sorted house for Christmas.

How lovely of you to help out. I wish I was nearer and could help - I love cleaning other people's houses, just wish I was as enthusiastic about my own grin

harrietspy Fri 14-Dec-12 11:10:22

done, what a difference a day makes! Less than 24 hours ago you were contemplating running away and instead you have taken the most amazing action. So impressed with you and with the MNers who are coming round today.

Sorry I can't be there to muck in, but I'm sending warmest thoughts. Keep your face turned to the sun! smile

5speckledreindeer Fri 14-Dec-12 11:13:35

Another one here eager to hear the updates and feeling inspired by human nature. Well done donewith and the amazing cleaning team!

I'm going to stick the baby in the sling and join in with the clean-in by tackling my own kitchen smile

VestaCurry Fri 14-Dec-12 11:17:03

Heartwarming thread smile

BoreOfWhabylon Fri 14-Dec-12 11:21:34

Fecking vipers. You have made me cry!

Very well done, Done with, you are so brave.

To the cleaning crew and the other helpers, what wonderful women you are.

Oh, screen has gone all blurry...

benbobaggins Fri 14-Dec-12 11:26:19

MN at its very best, sending cleaning vibes.

<seems to have a speck of dust in my eye> grin

I must admit staring at the Pizza menu is turning me into Homer Simpson

hmmm Piiiizzzza

<<stops drooling on desk>>

JustinBoobie Fri 14-Dec-12 11:36:00


Fabulous thread!

This <gesticulates madly>, this is what Mumsnet is truly about.

I've been lurking since yesterday and just want to wish Donewith and the cleaning crew all the very best for today. And how lovely of Chazs to supply lunch. [thank] for you all.

Excuse me, I think I have something in my eye...

Dammit. Emoticon fail!

thanks for you all.

TobyLerone Fri 14-Dec-12 11:47:24

Chaz? I've just done the dishes. If I PM you my address, could you add me to the pizza list please? I worked really hard wink

DoubleMum Fri 14-Dec-12 11:50:54

Good luck all of you!! Am getting off this computer and going upstairs to do a bit of cleaning and tidying for half an hour.


Just for you wink

RockinAroundThePigeonsTreet Fri 14-Dec-12 12:08:14

it is making me grin at the thought of hundreds of mnetters having a cleaning binge as a mark of solidarity and the looks on lots of dp's/ dc's faces when they get home!
grin grin

Jahan Fri 14-Dec-12 12:11:30

What a lovely, lovely, lovely thread.
Hope you have a fab xmas and new year in your clean place.

susanann Fri 14-Dec-12 12:14:57

so uplifting to read of your progress OP! With you in spirit, save me some pizza!
Ive been inspired to do some cleaning too! Cant wait to read update later if you have time. So happy for you, you have really turned the corner!! WELL DONE!

well done done with and all the lovely ladies with you, have fun today smile

kohl Fri 14-Dec-12 12:22:07

Hope today goes really well-enjoy the pizza!

Fishlegs Fri 14-Dec-12 12:23:05

Another one here inspired to clean the kitchen, especially the floor, it hasn't been mopped for weeks! Go cleaning team!

Done, good luck with it all, hope these kind ladies set you flying.

peachypips Fri 14-Dec-12 12:24:12

Checking in for progress! All the best for today guys xx

I am sobbing having read this thread. This is the best side of MN.

PatTheHammer Fri 14-Dec-12 12:37:43

I scrubbed my draining board last night inspired by the threadsmile
Everyone has been so supportive on this thread it has actually made me well up a few times.
OP, you have been amazing, so positive and great at looking forwards.

Good luck today ladies, I'm sure it will be hard but such a sense of acheivement at the end it will surely be worth it.

AppleOgies Fri 14-Dec-12 12:44:25

Hah Mumsnet psychology... I am very house proud and don't actually need to clean today but I bought a load of cleaning products in Sainsburys this morning! grin

TheWombat Fri 14-Dec-12 12:49:26

What a heart-rending and inspiring thread. Donewithit Congratulations on having the courage to post and for taking such positive steps.

I would have loved to join in the cleaning angels but am too far away. flowers to Laurie, Jax and anyone else who is involved today.

I too have been motivated into a cleaning frenzy today! grin Here's to all the avidly cleaning MN-ers inspired by Donewithit

FiercePanda you are my hip socket twin - I will PM you.

5speckledreindeer Fri 14-Dec-12 12:51:38

Wow DoneWith you really have achieved something amazing. Not only have you taken massive steps with your own life, homes all over the place are a little bit cleaner all because of you!

Can't wait for the update....

Another one in a cleaning frenzy today!! Lord, how much plastic crap can a DD have in her room? smile

Casserole Fri 14-Dec-12 12:55:16

Have only just seen this but I think I'm probably quite near - just over the Herts border. Near Chesham. If you want to get a gang together again another day to finish off, or if you need a car to take stuff to the tip, etc, PM me.

Everyone needs a hand now and then x

AdoraJingleBells Fri 14-Dec-12 12:56:00

Done glad you have talked things through with DH, keep communicating and you can get anything sorted out.

Laura Jax and Anon hope you all have a good day helping Done, enjoy the pizza. And well down for supplying said pizza Chazs

I'll check later for any updates

MerryChristmasEverybody Fri 14-Dec-12 12:56:11

Can't wait to hear the update. I think before and after pictures are needed!!

SantasBitch Fri 14-Dec-12 13:05:48

How about just the "after" photos, Merry Christmas? I don't think posting the "before" ones would be very kind. hmm

MardyBra Fri 14-Dec-12 13:09:06

Another one who has been motivated by this thread. I am going to tackle the pockets of shame in my house.

A big snog to the OP and all the helpers.

ParsingFancy Fri 14-Dec-12 13:14:00

"I know I'm late to the party but my house is EXACTLY the same"

LewisFan where are you? Seriously.

AlmostAChristmasHipster Fri 14-Dec-12 13:15:46

Yay for the Pizza Fairy! How lovely you are to even think of sorting the lunch out, let alone organising it!

ParsingFancy Fri 14-Dec-12 13:17:37

OK, just seen you're in Hertfordshire, LewisFan.

Are you ready to tackle it if a MN Nest of Wipers™ turns up to break the back of it?

Having a wee sob at this thread.
As a mark of solidarity we are having pizza for lunch and me and DH are going to do some serious cleaning this afternoon.

Good luck ladies.

Fairylea Fri 14-Dec-12 13:32:37

Just caught up with this... so lovely and heartwarming! Lovely people here.

You will be fine, one thing at a time and then spend 15 minutes everyday keeping it up rather than letting it slide.

You're inspirational. X

QuickLookBusy Fri 14-Dec-12 13:34:36

What a lovely threadthanks

Mumsnet at its best.

I was just going to say, I think DownWithItAllnow shouldn't feel under any pressure to have photos taken and put on the Internet.

I think it's really important that if she has any doubts about doing that, she says no to it happening.

I worry that there are a few idiots people who might make judgey remarks, which 99.999999% of people will disagree with, but I don't think DownWithItAll should be put in that position.

Sorry, I don't mean to be a party pooper, it's just something to considersmile

mostlytidiernow Fri 14-Dec-12 13:34:40

I love this thread smile

I used to be really, really messy. I suspect I was depressed, looking back. But also naturally scatty and messy anyway!

When I had DD, DP and I tried to get the house ready in time, but although we managed a lot we ran out of time before I went onto labour.

My best friend turned up at the hospital when I was actually in labour, got the keys off DP, and with another friend went and tidied our house. DD was born on Christmas Eve, and we returned home with DD on Christmas day to find the place absolutely spotless - they'd even rearranged all the furniture, and left chocolates and flowers.

Took me bloody months to find everything again! grin But even so we were delighted, it was such a nice thing for them to do.

Since having DD we've managed to be much tidier. Our home is never going to be a show home, and we do have moments when it looks like it's starting to get out of hand again! But it never does, have managed to (mostly!) turn over a new leaf.

Donewith I hope you have a lovely house for Christmas. And once you've got it clean, you won't look back, I promise!

(Regular but namechanged because people who don't know me well think I'm respectable wink)

NameGotLostInCyberspace Fri 14-Dec-12 13:35:36

Blurry screen here! Wheres the tissues??
Hope you get lots done. What a fantastic thread.

Op, you are very brave and wish you well. MN cleaning Crew, Very kind of you! smile

QuickLookBusy Fri 14-Dec-12 13:38:02

Sorry just seen your post SantasBitch

I agree with you and think its really important that "before" photos aren't put on the Internet.

FivesGoldNorks Fri 14-Dec-12 13:38:25

Qlb I agree. While everyone on this thread is lovely I'm starting to worry whether it might be a bit overwhelming.

LineRunner Fri 14-Dec-12 13:47:21

Mn is clearly a Nest of Monicas grin

MerryChristmasEverybody Fri 14-Dec-12 13:49:48

Sorry! I didn't think, agree before pics might be too much.

QuickLookBusy Fri 14-Dec-12 13:50:42

I know Fives.

It's a great thing that is happening today and I do think it will be ok if she can keep some privacy.

You can almost guarantee that if photos are printed, some troll will start being nasty. I don't want DoneWith to have to deal with that.

EyesCrossedLegsAkimbo Fri 14-Dec-12 13:53:04

I don't think we need pictures at all, just to know DoneWith is happy would make my day smile

2Old2BeAChristmasElf Fri 14-Dec-12 13:53:06

Hope all is going well grin I'm going to send DH to his Mums with the DC tomorrow so I can scrub the house!

PoppyWearer Fri 14-Dec-12 14:00:25

I have also got off my backside and sorted through some kitchen cupboards today, inspired by this thread!

Hope all is going well, OP.

Saccrofolium Fri 14-Dec-12 14:00:36

I'm not crying, I was chopping onions and then got an eyelash stuck...

2muchxmaspud Fri 14-Dec-12 14:04:51

Well I have just cleared the passage and landing of all christmas boxes, laundry and tools. Sat on sofa feeling proud so god only knows how proud you must be feeling OP, and OPs christmas helpers but I bet it feels fan-bloody-tastic! XXXX

TobyLerone Fri 14-Dec-12 14:05:08

Thanks, Chaz grin

harrietspy Fri 14-Dec-12 14:05:40

I agree re no pics - except for benefit of done and for her eyes only.

Does anyone else have the A-Team soundtrack in their head today?

WinklyVersusTheZombies Fri 14-Dec-12 14:09:21

I only meant for done to take a picture for herself. I wouldn't dream of suggesting that she posted them. Hope the cleanup is going well.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Fri 14-Dec-12 14:10:39

Nest of Wipers™


FivesGoldNorks Fri 14-Dec-12 14:13:40

Yes good plan winkly

Wonder how they're getting on

coocooItsSoddingXmasAlready Fri 14-Dec-12 14:14:30

Oh me too, have also got cleaning bug good and proper! I've just dusted, hoovered, cleaned bathroom and steam mopped all the way through. Feel bloody fantastic - thank you for your very honest and inspiring thread OP.

Now having a brew and some lunch and contemplaitng whether to eat it off my new sparkly floor...

Well done done with and all mumsnets little helpers thanks

WeAreSix Fri 14-Dec-12 14:15:27

Well done to all those who have helped smile

Good luck OP, hopefully you're feeling more positive now!!

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Fri 14-Dec-12 14:16:53

I think it's entirely up to DoneWith if she wants to do photos or not - but I absolutely, definitely wouldn't want her to feel she has to.

No updates yet? Maybe they're napping after eating too much pizza?? grin

Anyone who has offered to help (either Done or Lewis) I hope you have sent PM's or your offers might get missed !!

<I want Pizza now but need to do more jobs first!!>

I want to go on a cleaning frenzy but these pesky kids get in the way. Its like herding cats! So someone come with a lassoo to mine whilst i take a toothbrush to the taps!

BirdwithinaBird Fri 14-Dec-12 14:18:55

Hardly ever post, but self combusting with what life and Christmas should be about. Talk about the power of love, and amazing, amazing women. Kindness, good will and bravery from you Donewithit. Just wonderful.

LoopsInHoops Fri 14-Dec-12 14:19:07

Amazing smile

NestOfWipers Fri 14-Dec-12 14:19:50


Why am I stupidly excited by this thread? Think it's the loveliness of MN making me feel all squidgy.... nest of vipers indeed.

BabylonElf Fri 14-Dec-12 14:25:49

Hope it's going we'll cleaning crew <eagerly awaiting an update> grin

BabylonElf Fri 14-Dec-12 14:26:29

well not we'll angry stoooooopid autocorrect!!!!

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells Fri 14-Dec-12 14:27:27

This is the first thread ever that I've sat with bated breath.
I've not been feeling that Christmassy at all this year after losing my Mum in May.
And I admit, I've let the house go.
Truly inspiring thread, my house will be sparkly clean tonight.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZebraInHiding Fri 14-Dec-12 14:38:24

Lovely thread. Goo dluck today everyone!

Lewis - I am in Herts. Seriously. Shout out if you need us! smile

harrietspy Fri 14-Dec-12 14:58:03

So I haven't cleaned my house because that's not a problem right now, but my finances are terrifying. I've been living in denial re imminent tax bill + no £ to pay it. Inspired by done I looked at this head on today. No quick fixes, but it feels so much better to be taking action.

So much goodwill on this thread!

brew to everyone who is being brave and taking action on things that terrify them today.

FivesGoldNorks Fri 14-Dec-12 15:02:54

Well done Harriet smile