Movies - change one letter. Silence of the Limbs, anyone?

(780 Posts)

Hairy Potter - Young wizard at Hogwarts finds out his dad is in fact Hagrid

Op - Old grumpy man ties balloons to his house after failed hip replacement

The Lord of the Rungs - window-cleaning will never be the same again...

Tha Hanger Games- a group of especially chosen teens are forced to use their skill and ingenuity in a thrilling fight for survival in an aircraft hanger. [Hmm]

peeriePistoriuslicker Thu 20-Sep-12 16:14:36

True Brit: tracking down a murderer with the help of lots of nice cups of tea and polite apologies
Finding Emo: "Don't bother to look for me Dad, my whole life is a bleak charade"

The Green Pile - a tragic tale of a young prison guard who sat on a cold step for too long and got a nasty infection

When Harry Wet Sally


scurryfunge Thu 20-Sep-12 16:16:29

Top Gin- a fighter pilot's battle with the bottle.

Psammead Thu 20-Sep-12 16:18:24

Gone with the Wine - average Mn friday night.
Forrest Gimp - if you go down to the woods today...
The Green Mole - superhero who digs up your garden whilst being perfectly camofla camaflag camoflar hidden.

Themumsnot Thu 20-Sep-12 16:19:37

Nice Age - Turning 40 was a lot better than she expected

Forrest Gimp

The Third Pan - when two are just not enough

Full Petal Jacket - The Marines turn to Gok Wan for fashion advice

One Blew Over The Cuckoo's Nest - HRH Queen Elizabeth II crop dusts the patients on a psychiatric ward. With dire consequences.

Schindler's Lust

Dig Hard - a group of hostages are rescued by a strange man with a shovel

Pilates of the Carribean.

trixie123 Thu 20-Sep-12 16:25:06

Petty Woman
Top Gin
Interview with a Campire (all far too pretty in that film)
Star Bars
Raiders of the Lost Park
Sox in the City

American Beasty

Themumsnot Thu 20-Sep-12 16:26:11

Tight Club - for ladies who like to have fun with fashion hosiery

A Beautiful Wind

witchwithallthetrimmings Thu 20-Sep-12 16:28:21

Green Bard, a sci-fi story about finding an alien shakespeare
Socky (I,II etc) cartoon adventure about a lost sock who overcomes serious deprivation and fights his way out of the washing machine

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 16:28:22

"Snakes on a Plate".... The Ray Mears life-story

QueefLatina Thu 20-Sep-12 16:29:27

American Pig

Night Club

SparkyTGD Thu 20-Sep-12 16:29:35

Ditty Dancing, people do a nice dance to their favourite little song.

Reservoir Bogs, country dwellers with lots of mud & wellies

The Loon King, crazy king goes crazy.

Raging Bill a calm quiet chap gets in a rage.

The Dear Hunter, boy mourns the loss of one of his favourite welly boots.

Could muck about for ages doing this grin

Tiago Thu 20-Sep-12 16:29:44

Iron Nan

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 16:30:11

Sheeping with the Enemy

Raiders of the Lust Ark - <whistles>

Shaun of the Head - <gay whistles>

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 16:30:14

"Pilates of the Caribbean".... stretch that body with Johhny Depp.

SparkyTGD Thu 20-Sep-12 16:31:09

Schindlers Lost

Pulp Diction (only no-one would be able to understand the dialogue)
The Tragic Roundabout (ok, so that was 2 letters.....) (and wouldn't have a happy ending)
Night of the Loving Dead (which would hopefully be a bit less horrifying than its original)

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 16:31:37

"Shred 2".... stretch that body with a talking donkey

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 16:31:53

Crease - a group of American high school pupils struggle with their ironing

Nancy66 Thu 20-Sep-12 16:32:01

Some Like It Bot - a group of housewives meet secretly every Friday to discuss their taboo love of anal sex.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 16:32:22

"Jurassic Pork".... the pigs that time forgot

picnicbasketcase Thu 20-Sep-12 16:33:53

The Princess Dairies - teenager finds out that she's the next in line to inherit a shitload of cattle

ENormaSnob Thu 20-Sep-12 16:34:48

Shaving private ryan

Resident weevil

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 16:34:56

The Legend of Hell Mouse - demonic rodent terrorises a cheese board

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 16:35:01

"Jews"... just when you thought it was safe to go back in the synagogue

When Harry Met Wally - romantic gay love in a bookstore

Petty Woman


St. Elmo's Ire

Sixteen Handles

Trainspitting.... an outbreak of social vandalism to rival railway graffiti

ariadneoliver Thu 20-Sep-12 16:37:54

Snow Write - don't eat the yellow snow.
Jungle Bonk
Jams - The WI terrorises a New England coastal resort

Nancy66 Thu 20-Sep-12 16:38:24

Tight Club.

The first rule of Tight Club is you don't talk about tight club. The second rule is that you all sit down with a nice cuppa and a bourbon and discuss the merits of 15 dernier versus 30

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 16:38:24

'Olives!'.... Greek orphan falls in with street urchins

scurryfunge Thu 20-Sep-12 16:38:39

Hove Actually- a story of Sussex couples.

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 16:38:51

Harry Porter - has a magic trolley

Lord of the Tings - set in Jamaica

Blade Bummer - Errrr......

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 16:40:04

The Codfather - a tale of organised crime beneath the seas

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 16:40:34

Just realised that was 3 letter changes blush

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 16:42:07

"Apocalypse Cow"... when farm animals attack

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 16:42:27

The Pills Have Eyes - something nasty is lurking in the medicine cabinet

scurryfunge Thu 20-Sep-12 16:42:38

The Girl With the Dralon Tattoo.

ontheedgeofwhatever Thu 20-Sep-12 16:43:48

Lady and the Cramp - woman has awful unexplained pains
Hack to the future - journalist goes forward in time and writes about it

lisaro Thu 20-Sep-12 16:43:49

Shindler's Lift - had one in previous workplace.
Animal Mouse - a group of badly behaved young rodents.
Bun, Fat Boy, Bun - self explanatory.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 16:43:57

Eden Bake - young couple go on a romantic getaway, and bake lots of lovely pies

NaiceSpam Thu 20-Sep-12 16:44:05


Love "Hove, Actually" grin grin

headfairy Thu 20-Sep-12 16:44:26

The Nitty Professor - the first week back at term brings unwelcome guests

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 16:44:57

Schindler's Last - try as he might he could not keep his egg on the spoon

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 16:45:03

"E.D.".... little alien in search of viagra

Argh...this is addictive (and I feel soooo immature but)

Scooby Poo
Reservoir Logs
The Parent Crap

Must grow up again before I collect the DCs after work!

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 16:45:17

grin at The Nitty Professor

ariadneoliver Thu 20-Sep-12 16:45:42

Saturday Night Sever - a weekend of amputations

ontheedgeofwhatever Thu 20-Sep-12 16:47:34

Two geeks notice - two geeky men obsess over one woman
Mangled - beautiful girl with long hair has a problem drying the washing

picnicbasketcase Thu 20-Sep-12 16:49:01

Twilight : New Goon. Gormless teenage girl falls in love with Spike Milligan

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 16:49:50

The Cole - Hopefully where Cheryl will live next

<evil emoticon>

ontheedgeofwhatever Thu 20-Sep-12 16:49:53

Rome alone - little boy accidentally left in Rome all alone

lisaro Thu 20-Sep-12 16:49:53

This is addictive.
Shindler's Lisp. A hero with a speech Impediment.

ElephantsCanCanCan Thu 20-Sep-12 16:50:11

Gone with the Wand - The Ron and Hermione love story

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 16:51:18

"The Dull Monty"... WWII General's stamp collection

scurryfunge Thu 20-Sep-12 16:51:20

Slim dog millionnaire- a labrador's chance to win more biscuits.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 16:51:28

Toy Tory - London is terrorised by David Cameron action figure

picnicbasketcase Thu 20-Sep-12 16:52:55

Get Him to the Creek. Tells of drug addicted rock star's amusing journey to appear on 90s tv show with Katie Holmes.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 16:53:24

Yes, it is very addicitive grin

Allens - Sigourney Weaver battles against an army of men in cardigans.

fuzzysnout Thu 20-Sep-12 16:54:07

Top Hun - Tom Cruise causes much swooning somewhere that must not be mentioned on a well know parenting forum.

picnicbasketcase Thu 20-Sep-12 16:54:22

Beauty and the Yeast - young girl dreams of moving out of the small town she lives in and of opening her own artisan bread shop. And she has an ongoing problem with thrush.

Allen - film about a bloke on a spaceship where there are no extra-terrestrial beings, pods, eggs, or much going on at all. Flopped at the box office.

The Drapes of Wrath - the day-to-day bitching and back-stabbing activities of a busy curtain shop in Preston.

Ben Her - sad tale of a roman slave who feels he is trapped in the wrong body - leading to an early (and extremely bloody) attempt at a sex-change op with no anaesthetic. (cert U)

King Pong - Tragi-comedy about a lonely monarch (played by Robbie Coltrane) who is ostracised by his people because of his personal freshness issues.

24Hours Thu 20-Sep-12 16:56:05

Withnail and U.
Rampant alcoholism drug abuse and squalor is not so funny now

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 16:56:32

One Fine Dap

Bridget Bones' diary

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 16:57:23

Raging Gull - angered by the persistent presence of birdwatchers, a seabird takes action to protect his privacy

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 16:57:28

"Mass Congeniality".... Tom Hanks and Stephen Fry head an all-star cast of people being terribly, terribly nice. It's just, you know, lovely.... really lovely.

LeeCoakley Thu 20-Sep-12 17:01:05

These are hilarious! Love Dull Monty!

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 17:01:15

The Girl Who Licked The Hornets Nest

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 17:02:07

The Big Sheep - seriously, it's HUGE

SoupDragon Thu 20-Sep-12 17:02:20

The Goolies - a group of kids embark on a wild adventure after discovering a porn mag.

ScrambledSmegs Thu 20-Sep-12 17:02:20

Psyche - Ant & Dec wreck the mike tenuous while battling murderous mother-fixated Norman Bates.

Bone with the Wind - errr...

Pendeen Thu 20-Sep-12 17:04:48

Top Bum - much lusting after pilots.

Cassaplanka - top tips for scaffolders

The Third Map - spies lost in Vienna

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 17:04:53

The Hungover - Well erm... Some guys with a hangover....

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 17:04:58

"Slack Swan".... large white bird with no morals whatsoever

LeeCoakley Thu 20-Sep-12 17:06:06

Lord of the Fries - biopic of Harry Ramsden

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 17:06:22

"How To Train Your Dralon"... upholstery tips for beginners

Bundlejoycosysweet Thu 20-Sep-12 17:06:53

Citizen Bane - Batman's latest nemesis is really sorry and determined to be a good egg this time.

Racing Bull - De Niro tries an unorthodox route to winning the Grand National

Bone with the Wind - Clark Gable gets an embarrassing 'lob on' at the mkst inopportune times in just a gentle breeze

Lord of the Bings - woeful Friends spin-off to boost Matthew Perry's flagging career

Finding Memo - an office crisis averted

AncientsOfMuMu Thu 20-Sep-12 17:06:57

Tom Cruise films:

The Color of Monet
The Lost Samurai
Pop Gun

(Apologies if some already done)

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 17:08:27

Minority Retort

Nancy66 Thu 20-Sep-12 17:10:15

Failure to Paunch - the heartbreaking story of a middle-aged man who feels increasingly isolated as, unlike his friends, he does not go bald and develop a beer belly.

OhDearNigel Thu 20-Sep-12 17:10:34

Bridget Jones' Dairy - BJ is a dairymaid at a large "country seat" called Pemberley. Very similar to Fanny Hill she is becomes embroiled with her master, a certain Mr Darcey......

SparkyTGD Thu 20-Sep-12 17:11:07

Star Bars, famous folk fight with extra long star bars (that nutty choc bar) as lightsabers

Roar Window, when man notices lions ouside his house

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 17:11:41

Ed Woad - eccentric film director paints himself blue and declares war on the English

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 17:11:45

"Jungle Boak"... Exotic creatures vom for the cameras

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 17:11:53

Paving Private Ryan - They never did find him, he was buried under the patio Brookside stylee!

SoupDragon Thu 20-Sep-12 17:13:11

Last Mango in Paris - a torrid tale of the search for exotic fruit.

Spud - runaway potatoes ....

Matrics .... A movie about Saffer children doing their 'A' level equivalents ...

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 17:14:55

Jedward Scissorhands

SoupDragon Thu 20-Sep-12 17:15:01

Sinking in the Rain - It's going to get wet. Very wet.

Absy Thu 20-Sep-12 17:15:10

List in Translation - an MN habit of shopping list picking up goes to Tokyo!

The Jungle Bonk - 'nuf said

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 17:15:57

"Hippy Feet"..... mostly sandals really

ScrambledSmegs Thu 20-Sep-12 17:16:12

Barrie - Stephen King horror transplanted to Brookside Close.

Young Puns - western featuring dreadful one-liners.

Prince of Tiles - Barbra Streisand meets the ultimate bathroom fitter and romance blossoms.

Funding Nemo - father fish sells his soul to send child to university ..

SoupDragon Thu 20-Sep-12 17:16:56

ICT Age - a mammoth gets to grips with MS Publisher

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 17:17:09

"The Punk Panther"... big cat with attitude

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 17:18:02

Singing in the Raid - A Policeman Musical

moonieponds Thu 20-Sep-12 17:18:03

Beatches - Some friendships don't last forever.

The Burds - Hitchcock's Glasgwegian version.

Absy Thu 20-Sep-12 17:19:31

Mean Gills - bitchiness goes ocean side

ScrambledSmegs Thu 20-Sep-12 17:20:16

Mystery Hen - featuring a superhero chicken

Wankabout - Fun and games in the Australian Outback with an inveterate onanist who just can't keep his hands out of his trousers

Gamma Mia - Meryl Streep in dungarees on a beach getting repeatedly zapped by radioactive beams from the depths of the universe. Strangely compelling to watch.

The Cunt For Red October - Russian story about a not very nice man. In autumn.

Goodbye, Mr Chins - Colleagues attend the funeral of their morbidly obese chum who succumbed to the inevitable coronary whilst doing the conga at the office Christmas party.

The Mighty Fucks - Superheroes proving that plenty goes on in the pants-over-tights world of supernatural gallantry. Contains scenes of depraved obscenity and mild to moderate language.

ScrambledSmegs Thu 20-Sep-12 17:21:36

Bleeping Beauty - the sweary side of Disney

GraceVentura Thu 20-Sep-12 17:22:10

It's a Wonderful Lift - one woman's heartwarming triumph over elevator phobia

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 17:22:24

"My Big Fat Green Wedding"... obese couple tie the knot on St Patrick's Day

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 17:22:29

The Filth Element - someone needs to clean their kettle

LineRunner Thu 20-Sep-12 17:23:16

The Fridges of Madison County - a heartbreaking portrayal of lost love set against a majestic backdrop of white goods.

These are brilliant grin

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 17:24:12

"Cwtch Me If You Can"... Welsh woman plays hard to get

LineRunner Thu 20-Sep-12 17:24:20

The List of the Mohicans - shopping will never be the same again.

iklboo Thu 20-Sep-12 17:26:16

I Spit On Your Gravy - woman gets revenge by gobbing in sauces

Batman Beguines - Bruce Wayne is a guest on Strictly (2 letters so a bit of a cheat)

Say It Forward - a heartwarming tale of Chinese Whispers

Field of Breams - baseball / fishing drama

SoupDragon Thu 20-Sep-12 17:26:48

Ratman - pest control gone bad.

Nancy66 Thu 20-Sep-12 17:27:18

Shitter Island - a secret haven for IBS sufferers to go and not be judged

ScrambledSmegs Thu 20-Sep-12 17:27:57

Children of the Korn - nu-metal rockers change career and venture into daycare.

moonieponds Thu 20-Sep-12 17:27:58

Deliverdance - Terror and banjo music.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 17:28:24

Dan's Labyrinth - Dan Snow builds an incredibly complex maze in his back garden, David Starkey is never seen again

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 17:28:35

grin @ Shitter Island

LineRunner Thu 20-Sep-12 17:28:37

Desperately Seeping Susan - A famed singer battles with a mutant Ebola virus

Train Spitting

SoupDragon Thu 20-Sep-12 17:29:08

Wild Wild Nest - there's a new pigeon in town

pithtaker Thu 20-Sep-12 17:29:14

Dead Calf - earnest documentary about the veal industry

Absy Thu 20-Sep-12 17:29:47

My Fair Laddy - the heartwarming story of a Scottish Covent Garden Flower seller

Seven brides for seven bothers - pass the seven tests and get married!

complexnumber Thu 20-Sep-12 17:30:09

High School Lovie: Brian Blessed takes a trip back to his youth

pithtaker Thu 20-Sep-12 17:30:40

A Fry In The Dark- ill advised midnight snack making and it's consequences

picnicbasketcase Thu 20-Sep-12 17:31:01

Rad Santa - a shopping mall Father Christmas gets into bother for using out of date colloquialisms.

Nancy66 Thu 20-Sep-12 17:31:09

This is my favourite thread EVER - well done OP grin

SoupDragon Thu 20-Sep-12 17:31:17

Pen in Black - a heartrending search for the perfect biro.

moonieponds Thu 20-Sep-12 17:31:54

Brigaspoon - missing cutlery turns up every 100 years.

LineRunner Thu 20-Sep-12 17:31:54

The Whacker Man - a young policeman wanks himself to death on a remote island in front of Britt Ekland

SoupDragon Thu 20-Sep-12 17:32:10

Four Beddings and a funeral - Hugh bonks his way to an early grave.

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 17:32:40

Ginception - an educational film about the side effects of too much gin

complexnumber Thu 20-Sep-12 17:32:47

The Kink and I: Me and Ray Davies meet each other

Ferris Beuller's Way Off - optically challenged teen ...

leguminous Thu 20-Sep-12 17:33:14

Kilt Bill - a woman goes on a lengthy violent rampage to find out exactly what he does wear underneath

Absy Thu 20-Sep-12 17:34:22

Hideous Winky - Kate Winslet encounters some rather unattractive penises

SoupDragon Thu 20-Sep-12 17:34:40

Cost Away - budgetting on a small desert island.

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 17:35:34

The Puppets Christmas Carol - about erm....puppets at christmas

SoupDragon Thu 20-Sep-12 17:36:05

50 First Mates - One woman's naval experiences

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 17:36:05

Ding Dong - New York is terrorised by a 50ft Leslie Phillips

Thicken Run
Ferris Bueller's Pay Off
Marg Poppins

pithtaker Thu 20-Sep-12 17:36:48

A Piddler On The Roof -drunken barbecue takes an unexpected turn

leguminous Thu 20-Sep-12 17:37:15

The Diving Dead - clifftop cemetary suffers severe erosion

leguminous Thu 20-Sep-12 17:37:36

Whoops. Night of, that should have been.

ScrambledSmegs Thu 20-Sep-12 17:37:41

Tern Wolf - unlikely story of arctic bird turned lycanthrope

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Sep-12 17:39:08

OMG I have only skimmed a page or two of this thread and I'm sure it's full of priceless stuff but I have just completely PMSL at 'JEWS - just when you thought it was safe to go back in the synagogue.'


Absy Thu 20-Sep-12 17:39:27

The Men Who Stare At Boats - the charming tale of sea-vessel anoraks

SoupDragon Thu 20-Sep-12 17:40:04

Full Metal Packet - is that a mortar in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

LineRunner Thu 20-Sep-12 17:40:25

Carry On Comping - council staff receive a surprsing message from the head of legal services

complexnumber Thu 20-Sep-12 17:41:28

You only jive twice: JB throws his back out in a Carribean resort

picnicbasketcase Thu 20-Sep-12 17:41:47

School of Cock - Jack Black shouts obscenities at a classroom full of scared and confused children

SoupDragon Thu 20-Sep-12 17:41:52

Batmon - Man with bad fake Jamaican accent fights crime whilst wearing tights and a cape.

Bratman - immature whiny superhero gets his comeuppance
Sniderman - superhero whose power is sarcasm
Rotting Hill - superstar goes into bookshop with weird smell and leaves immediately, owner discovers gone-off sandwiches behind the books, doesn't realise they have put off the love of his life
Saturday Night Fiver - student cheap night out
Pull Fiction - film about a guy who tells huge fibs about copping off with girls
One with the Wind - the Dalai Lama goes to Hollywood and in an hilarious mix up is cast in a romantic film set in the Deep South
Citizen Lane - story about a socialist small street
Toy Store - set in a toy shop
Tay Story - tale of toys on a trip down the river Tay
Blazing Paddles - group of cowboys on a river trip and their oars go on fire
The Modfather - Paul Weller and a tale of family loyalty, crime, revenge and horse's heads

Feck I should really do some work

randomfemale Thu 20-Sep-12 17:42:43

Saturday Night Fiver

Startailoforangeandgold Thu 20-Sep-12 17:43:00

Dr Not
From Russia with Dove- staring a real Bond Woman
Cold Finger - fish fingers plot global domination
ThunderWall - Bond at the Oasis
The man with the golden bun
and it's sequel Moonbaker

A view to a grill (ok that's 2)

Pie another day

Stag Wars - Typical night out in Blackpool

Sliding Moors - Film about a geography teacher who was very boring.

Fable Attraction - Death by morals

Lances with Wolves - One woman's obsession with novelty Sporn!

Mingin in the Rain - Story of a teenager who lost his door key

Darty Dancing - How one woman managed to win the pub dart championships whilst doing the Tango!

Pukes of Hazzard

randomfemale Thu 20-Sep-12 17:45:38

A Piss Before Dying

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 17:47:58

The Bards - a small town is invaded by an army of poets, much blank verse ensues

drysocks Thu 20-Sep-12 17:48:26

Calendar Gills

Fish Season in Yorkshire

Get Farter
The Fart and the Furious
Fart Apache

(lowers the tone) grin

ipswichwitch Thu 20-Sep-12 17:50:15

Horrible Busses- public transport gone bad

picnicbasketcase Thu 20-Sep-12 17:50:42

Return of the Bing - crooner dusts off his pipe ready for his comeback

complexnumber Thu 20-Sep-12 17:51:16

To Sid with love: The X-rated Sidney Poitier tribute film.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 17:52:08

No Country for Old Hen - retired chicken moves to the city

drysocks Thu 20-Sep-12 17:53:23

The Pound Of Music - Noisy neighbours

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 17:55:01

Sliderman - story of a crap superhero

Yohoahoy Thu 20-Sep-12 17:55:48

Paws - a charming seaside town is menaced by a horde of puppies
From Dawn till Dust - frantic tale of vampire cleaning ladies
Hodzilla - Giant builder terrorizes Tokyo
Pay of the Triffids - mutant plants seek trade union advice over wage freezes (Mike Leigh, largely improvised)
Abigail's Tarty - mother bemoans her daughter's loose morals
Jane Ayre(s) - tragic tale of a forlorn comic poet
Toy Store - pre-show advertising

Jedward Scissorhands is still making me snort grin

I also like Snapes on a plane, which I saw on Facebook It hink.

This is very addictive!

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 17:56:09

True Prit - US marshal goes in search of a genuine glue stick

Lord of the Sings

An epic tale of hope over adversity and lots of orcs trying to impress Simon Cowell with some show tunes and Madonna covers.

Costaway - Tom Hanks dreams of escaping to a desert island whilst making and serving his 6,000th White Cold Skinny Mochaccino of the week in a dreary city coffee shop.

Ferris Bueller's Gay Off - Ferris returns to explore his more 'sensitive' side as he challenges members of 70s band Village People to a daring sexual marathon in down town New Yoik.

Apocalypse Wow - Shallow fashionistas ignore warnings that the end of the world is nigh; choosing instead to go shopping and then comparing their over-priced tat in their swanky apartments - just as a comet collides with Earth...

Teen Golf - Appalling 80s Michael J. Fox flick in which high school kids discover the joys of a nice round of golf on a Sunday afternoon. Contains scenes of very loud and vulgar clothing

Arse Attacks

Either the heartwarming tale of a Friday night bumsex thread on Mumsnet or the gritty saga of a very aggressive case of Delhi belly.

ChazsGoldAttitude Thu 20-Sep-12 17:59:25

A Fridge too Far - a deliveryman's epic story

My Big Fat Greek Weeding - gardening in Athens

The Retouchables - one man's fight against airbrushing

The Truman Shoe - a man finds that his footwear is just an illusion

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 17:59:33

Raveheart - Mel Gibson just loves that techno beat

SoupDragon Thu 20-Sep-12 18:01:19

Winding Nemo - one small fish burps his way home.

champagnesupernova Thu 20-Sep-12 18:02:43

Star Wart - Darth vader uses his light sabre to burn off his verucca

OrangeKipper Thu 20-Sep-12 18:07:09

Muriel's Welding - Aussie girl fulfills her dream to make wrought iron furniture

Oh What A Lovely Oar - peace reigns throughout the C20th as Edwardian chaps work off their aggression in healthy outdoor sports

Haslet - meatloaf contemplates the meaning of existence

champagnesupernova Thu 20-Sep-12 18:08:03

About last right : Rob Lowe and Demi Moore have a raunchy affair based on her correctly reading the map and him actually stopping for directions..

Orange, is Murial's wedding like an Australian version of Flash dance?

LineRunner Thu 20-Sep-12 18:09:57

Bladepunner - an unfunny futuristic tale of androids

Trevors - vicious monsters under the desert emerge wearing cardi's and slippers

Love Factually - step-by-step guide

About A Bog - Hugh Grant works for DynoRod

complexnumber Thu 20-Sep-12 18:12:07

Finding Memo: Office employee realises he should be somewhere else

pithtaker Thu 20-Sep-12 18:12:17

Sex And The Pity- viagra fail

SoupDragon Thu 20-Sep-12 18:12:28

Bar Horse - Friday nights at the Dog and Duck will never be the same again.

ChazsGoldAttitude Thu 20-Sep-12 18:14:55

Long Days Journey into Wight - the day the ferry broke down

Coldfinger - James Bond foils an evil plot to steal all the world supply gloves

The Perminator - I'll be back with my hair in curls

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Sep-12 18:15:39

Woody Allen films:

The Purple Nose of Cairo (the story of a heavy drinker from Egypt)

Everything you ever wanted to know about sox (but were afraid to ask)

(A corporate educational film for people in the hosiery business.)

pithtaker Thu 20-Sep-12 18:16:10

Turder On The Orient Express-filthy intercity toilet prompts Poirot to

investigate fellow passengers

Abigail's Farty - dinner party with beans and cabbage main course, served with Guinness

SoupDragon Thu 20-Sep-12 18:16:27

The Davinci Cone - high drama amongst the roadworks on the M25
Angels and Damons - the hunt for the hidden home of a Brookside bad boy.

complexnumber Thu 20-Sep-12 18:16:39

Stepford Knives: Let me carve the meat tonight, darling

Jesayan Thu 20-Sep-12 18:17:36

The blair bitch project ( or the 'bare bitch' ... More than one letter change smile

OrangeKipper Thu 20-Sep-12 18:18:48

blush have never seen Flash Dance, perdita. But doesn't look like it...

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Sep-12 18:18:52

The Green Pile (haemarroids gone sceptic)

sorry if that's already been done - not read whole thread)

leguminous Thu 20-Sep-12 18:19:57

Lord of the Rinds - Sauron tries to become the evil ruler of the candied peel industry

pithtaker Thu 20-Sep-12 18:20:02


TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 18:22:18

All that Jizz - A Stage Musical Director pushes himself too hard. Way too hard.

Mirage Thu 20-Sep-12 18:22:54

Top Nun-sisters at the speed of sound. I feel the need,the need for Holy Communion.

OrangeKipper Thu 20-Sep-12 18:23:18

Strictly Hallroom - landlord squeezes one more letting space into house

Rodeo and Juliet - ride him, cowgirl!

Little Voile - a story of curtain twitchers

EdgarAllanPond Thu 20-Sep-12 18:24:37

Thrush Hour - Action-packed mockbuster and Canesten advertorial.

starring Annie Fitch smile

SageBush Thu 20-Sep-12 18:24:43

Good Will Cunting - Matt Damon and Ben Affleck insult people in a jolly and helpful way.

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Sep-12 18:24:48

The Pursuit of Hoppyness

(one man's struggle to make it in the paralympic one-legged race)

Dislcaimer No offence intended, it may not be PC but you've got to admit it's funny)

sassytheFIRST Thu 20-Sep-12 18:27:07

Casa Bianca - a house party at Bianca jagger's south American pad.

The Great Trann Robbery - the real life tale of a gang who held up a drag queen and made off with lots of cash

Pat's Labyrinth - Nobody gets any mail as the postman struggles through the maze followed by his devoted cat, Jess.

leguminous Thu 20-Sep-12 18:27:36

The Minging Detective.

Come to that, The Minging Nun.

sassytheFIRST Thu 20-Sep-12 18:28:14

Pretty Womad - the modern day tale of a prostitute and an aged hippy attending a music festival

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 18:28:39

Tree Men and a baby - Frodo employs new babysitters

Scar Wars - csec vs. appendix scar....the sequel.being (of course) Scarfate.

The Man With Two Drains - Steve Martin doesn't know which to unblock first
Stir Wars - Great British Bake Off Stylee
Star Ward - not in the NHS
Star Bars - cross between a Mars and a Milkly way
Dead Clam - a mix up of letters for a spooky deep sea adventure
Point Blink - a film all about blinking
Barfield The movie - a cat sets up a bar in a field
Spacific Height - about 5'10" to be precise

iklboo Thu 20-Sep-12 18:31:06

Ghost Buskers - singing spooks

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Dessert - Mary Berry drives a bus load of female impersonators round Australia

The Burt Locker - a look at what Mr Reynolds keeps in his cupboard

SageBush Thu 20-Sep-12 18:32:15

This may be the funniest thing I have ever read on Mumsnet... I am howling with laughter!

pithtaker Thu 20-Sep-12 18:32:42

Joint Break- man damages hip whilst surfing

MikeLitoris Thu 20-Sep-12 18:33:16

I'm sat my own in a bar in hysterics reading these.

I look like a right numpty.

leguminous Thu 20-Sep-12 18:34:40

The Dark Side of the Moog - when synthesizers go bad

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Sep-12 18:35:40

Minging in the Rain - still ugly, whatever the weather

Lexilicious Thu 20-Sep-12 18:36:02

Truly, madly, weeply - Alan Rickman has an angry cyst that needs to be squeezed.

Brokeback Fountain - two young men spend summer looking after the ornamental ducks in St James' Park

633 Squidron - the untold tale of the allied crustacean corps' assault on a key enemy facility

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 18:37:04

The Curt Locker - high tech storage unit shows short shrift to the dallying

SuperB0F Thu 20-Sep-12 18:38:01

Pouch Of Evil- a rabid kangaroo plots to hide tampons in the Isle Of Man's capital.

pithtaker Thu 20-Sep-12 18:38:45

Lowering Inferno-man dampens some flames

Nancy66 Thu 20-Sep-12 18:39:37

The Cook, The Thief, His Wife And Her Rover - not only was she married to a thief but the bloody car never started either.

pithtaker Thu 20-Sep-12 18:40:13

Sat On A Hot Tin Roof-burnt buttocks

SuperB0F Thu 20-Sep-12 18:40:24

Witless For The Prosecution- Keanu Reeves stars in this legal drama.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 18:40:26

grin at 633 Squidron

Silly Elliot - a moving drama about a young boy who dreamed of being the next Norman Wisdom

SuperB0F Thu 20-Sep-12 18:41:50

Batman Legins- show off the male part nicely

The Batrix - scary future thriller about Beatrix Potter
Slade Runner - what really happened to that 70s band
PissInBoots - accidents do happen o r was it revenge?
Star Truk The Movie - intergalactic lorry of the future
Meet The F*ckers - too obvious??
Chicken Fun - specialist film for those that like chickens
You Got Sail - postmen start up a chandelrey business
The 69 Steps - a road to heaven?

choccyp1g Thu 20-Sep-12 18:42:52

SlumDog Billionaire; inflation takes its toll on a popular gameshow.

minsmum Thu 20-Sep-12 18:43:14

Eyes Wide Shit

Lady and the Trump

SageBush Thu 20-Sep-12 18:43:31

The Incredible Bulk - about a bariatric, green superhero

SuperB0F Thu 20-Sep-12 18:44:13

The ion King- a positive tale.

leguminous Thu 20-Sep-12 18:45:22

Videodrone - a movie buff goes on. And on. And on.

OrangeKipper Thu 20-Sep-12 18:46:07

The Lazykillers - no wonder they got caught

The Desperate Fours - some people will do anything to win at bridge

The Snots of Kilimanjaro - dying doctor relives his battle against deadly outbreak

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 18:46:39

Tie Hard - the story of a small girl's first day at school

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 18:47:03

Footsie - Dustin Hoffman pretends to be a foot to get a job as a podiatrist

SuperB0F Thu 20-Sep-12 18:47:08

It's A Wonderful Lift- an uplifting tale sure to elevate the audience.

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Sep-12 18:47:14

The Great Brain Robbery - the story of an organ stealing scandal

leguminous Thu 20-Sep-12 18:47:46

Oh god I'm dying at The Snots of Kilimanjaro.

leguminous Thu 20-Sep-12 18:48:16

The Great Drain Robbery - cunning thieves try sneaking through the sewers.

Mirage Thu 20-Sep-12 18:48:59

Pantasia - the wonderful world of underwear
Yeast of Eden-James Dean moodily making bread
Sand By Me-coming of age and DIY combined
Fat on a Hot Tin Roof-now where did I put that Lard?
Gassy Come Home-return of the farty family pet

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 18:49:21

The Gowering Inferno - Paul Newman disaster movie set in the south wales coast.

Die Bard - assasination attack on Will Shakespeare
Flesh Gordon - that's already been done!!!
Enter The Bragon - stealth boasting!

SarryB Thu 20-Sep-12 18:49:51

Lady and the Trump. Sheer Genius.

Reservoir Mogs.

Star Wags.

I'm rubbish at this.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 18:50:25

The Loin King - a butcher corners the market in Tunbridge Wells

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Sep-12 18:51:21

Glumdog Millionaire - proof that money really doesn't buy happiness.

leguminous Thu 20-Sep-12 18:52:21

The Neverending Store - you've been trying to get out for half an hour but you've gone in a circle and ended up by the fabric softener again.

GraceVentura Thu 20-Sep-12 18:53:03

Taxi Drivel - The tedious tale of a public transport worker's battle with verbal diarrhea

shrinkingnora Thu 20-Sep-12 18:53:04

Lardy in the water - fat man goes swimming
The BFP - giant gets pregnant

leguminous Thu 20-Sep-12 18:55:55

Shallow Hat - a man with a very flat head and his hunt for headgear that lets him see where he's going

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 18:56:26

Thora - Thora Hurd uses her special powers to defend the earth from dark forces

OK, that is cheating a bit

Hair Gray - the spray failed and all that's left is to colour it
Spinal Dap - soft shoes on hard rockers
Night Fiver - cheap date out

Blu Thu 20-Sep-12 19:00:26

Salmon Fishing in the Semen - a spunky tale of fish where they shouldn't be
RoboMop - one woman's home terrorised by a ruthless domestic impolement
True Grot - a determined young widow tackles a windosill of clutter
Transfarmers - cross-dressing in the hayloft

Mirage Thu 20-Sep-12 19:00:39

The Swedey-unPC root veg cleans up the underworld.

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Sep-12 19:01:04

Dobbie Does Dallas

A has-been Harry Potter actor resorts to making porn films to pay the rent.

Mirage Thu 20-Sep-12 19:01:42

The Weeney,the less well endowed cops get their turn.

jammydodger1 Thu 20-Sep-12 19:01:47

10 - 69 far better
Dove Actually - A clean soft film
Pie Hard - A crusty tale

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 19:02:18

Fergo - Alex Ferguson and the Duchess of York play police officers in a small, American town

I'd watch that ...

Sleeping With The Enema - story that has a not so nice ending

scaevola Thu 20-Sep-12 19:02:43

Mad Tax (Beyond the Plunderdrome) - fiscal policy gets nasty.

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Sep-12 19:04:16

Salmon fishing in the Semen grin PMSL

this has to go in Classics please

SuperB0F Thu 20-Sep-12 19:04:23

Planet Of The Apps- Apple take over the world.

scaevola Thu 20-Sep-12 19:05:01

G-Farce - the pets aren't that clever
The Bungle Book - neither are the singing animals of the forest

jammydodger1 Thu 20-Sep-12 19:05:03

The new film everyone talking about
Fifty shade of Bite
A plague of mossies were fed on a load of paper in a land fill site and took over the world!

SoupDragon Thu 20-Sep-12 19:05:49

Bron - a computerised world goes Welsh

scaevola Thu 20-Sep-12 19:06:18

The Wife of Brian
Huns on the Run

jammydodger1 Thu 20-Sep-12 19:06:56

The Italian Nob
"Your only supposed to blow it off"

GraceVentura Thu 20-Sep-12 19:07:07

Full Metal Jacker - The Wank Robot Goes Ejaculistic

Hot Fizz - champagne not on ice
True Gut - when beer bellies collide
Rita, Sue and Bob Poo - 2 yorshire lasses get up duff from mr smelly

SoupDragon Thu 20-Sep-12 19:07:56

Curry on Camping - when campsite catering gets hot

5inthebed Thu 20-Sep-12 19:08:05

"Psyche - Ant & Dec wreck the mike tenuous while battling murderous mother-fixated Norman Bates."

I am roaring at that!

Charlottes Wet


Mad Mac - revenge of the trainspotters

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 19:08:33

The Gothman Prophecies - starring Robert Smith

moonieponds Thu 20-Sep-12 19:08:43

Stain Spotting - lurking with the Vanish

I.T. - techy alien phones home

GraceVentura Thu 20-Sep-12 19:09:24

The Lion Ping - the sad story of a microwave that just can't tell the truth

SoupDragon Thu 20-Sep-12 19:10:35

Stork Troopers - blood, battle and birds bearing babies

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Sep-12 19:10:43

PMSL at lurking with the vanish. grin

AnnoyingOrange Thu 20-Sep-12 19:10:54

Three days of the condom - CIA agent has a good time

SoupDragon Thu 20-Sep-12 19:12:14

The Bobbit - an epic journey with a wizard, some dwarfs and a man with no penis.

SuperB0F Thu 20-Sep-12 19:13:38

The Handmaid's Talc- A lavender-scented dystopian vision.

GraceVentura Thu 20-Sep-12 19:15:35

Done with the Wind - when a fart goes bad

jammydodger1 Thu 20-Sep-12 19:17:57

Good Tellers - Dont tell them secrets!
BT - phone home!

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 19:18:25

The Pelican Briefs - A law student is stalked by the local knicker sniffer

meditrina Thu 20-Sep-12 19:19:39

Dunny Darko - adventures in an Aussie loo

Mamma Moa - flightless bird seeks chick's father

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 19:20:33

Donnie and Clyde - Donnie Osmond goes on a crime spree accompanied by an orangutan

SoupDragon Thu 20-Sep-12 19:21:52

The Hunning Man - A dyslexic father gets NetMums and Mumsnet mixed up.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 19:22:09

"The Handmaid's Talc- A lavender-scented dystopian vision."

This ^ is brilliant grin

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Sep-12 19:22:13

Men in Blick - Men in Black for South Africans

SoupDragon Thu 20-Sep-12 19:22:36

9 1/2 Geeks - 10 geeks and the magic trick that went wrong.

Gone With the Wand - magicians take revenge

Alien Notion - Strange ideas from outer space

Witless - Armish community has no idea what to do next

Pawn Of the Dead - zombies go the cash convertors

GraceVentura Thu 20-Sep-12 19:24:16

Gulp Fiction - when a woman fakes swallowing...

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Sep-12 19:25:06

The Wicker Pan - the story of an unfortunate house fire.

joanofarchitrave Thu 20-Sep-12 19:25:20

This is not just a Mumsnet classic - this is THE Mumsnet classic.

The Damp Busters

almapudden Thu 20-Sep-12 19:25:37

The Mild One - polite, well-behaved young man arrives un a small town and proceeds to befriend the locals, do odd jobs and carry shopping home for the elderly residents, before driving quietly away at 30mph.

jammydodger1 Thu 20-Sep-12 19:25:47

respect Nigella
Dirty Larry - A gay old tale
The male Rider - a poofy cowboy takes over!

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 19:26:05

Fight on the Town - documentary about a Saturday night out in Cardiff

Freshletticiaandslugs Thu 20-Sep-12 19:26:37

Arf at Iron Nan.
Stale Rider - just before he gets into town for a bath at the whorehouse.
The Man with the Golden Pun - chat show host takes over the world.
The Lass of the Mohicans?
Easy Wider - 70s porno on motorbikes
Tar Wars - intergalactic council roadgangs

almapudden Thu 20-Sep-12 19:30:24

The Skin I Jive In - badly burned girl fulfils her dream of becoming a disco dancing champion

No Countey For Old Meg - aged crone banished from her homeland.

SuperB0F Thu 20-Sep-12 19:31:41

Monsoon Weeding- Gardening goes hardcore.

jammydodger1 Thu 20-Sep-12 19:32:14

shaving private ryans - gillette get in on the act

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 19:33:58

My Stepmother is an Allen - documentary about Woody's kids confusion with who their sister/mother/aunts dog/goat is.

shrinkingnora Thu 20-Sep-12 19:34:03

The Long Piss Goodnight - after 5 pints of lager, she's getting ready for bed.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 19:34:19

Corn on the Fourth of July - Tom Cruise's plans for Independence Day are ruined when he wakes up with a septic corn.

EvenIfYouSeeAPoppy Thu 20-Sep-12 19:35:07

Four Eddings and a Funeral - a tragicomic tale of death and marker pens.

Bead It Like Beckham - top footballer discovers the joy of crafts.

sassytheFIRST Thu 20-Sep-12 19:35:54

Jars. An obsessive jam maker terrorises an American beach community.

Bog. A ten year old boy wishes to exchange his life with that of a toilet. Watch and wonder as his wish comes true.

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Sep-12 19:37:39


The story of a working class boy and his kestrel called Ken.

leguminous Thu 20-Sep-12 19:38:12

Children of the Crone - a controversial look into maternal age and IVF. (Sorry, cheated a bit there.)

BelfastBloke Thu 20-Sep-12 19:38:22

Citizen Jane - a reporter investigates why a multi-millionairess is so keen on her Rosebud.

sassytheFIRST Thu 20-Sep-12 19:40:35

The Full Montel - a group of unemployed steel workers are joined in their newest venture by an American talk show host who talks a great deal of tough love to them.

Lilka Thu 20-Sep-12 19:40:49

Lord of the Rinks - Ice skating at its best
Lick Ass - Worth a trip to Ann Summers to buy

Transfarmers (plus the sequel, Jurassic Pork)

A Comb at the End of the World (okay, two letters)- Three friends travel some serious miles to solve their hair issues.

Confessions of a Hopaholic- except she can't confess, she's panting too hard

About a Buoy- ever wondering what it's like, afloat at sea for all eternity? Find out some secret upkeep trade secrets. Know what it's like to be painted orange.

Fry Away Home- one boy and his saucepan's journey of discovery

Look Who's Talking, Cow? - the hypocritical bovine

Whirl, Interrupted- the ballerina stops midair. a snowflake stops in midair. a washing machine stops. what are they all thinking at that very moment?

Snow White and the Seven Wharfs- the billionaire pauper

Mister Act- a monastery is transformed

This MUST be in classics!!

jammydodger1 Thu 20-Sep-12 19:44:58

When Harry let Sally
a) an ex rated version or
b) the mans orgasm

OrangeKipper Thu 20-Sep-12 19:45:30

Name of the Hose - purist garden centre worker starts bumping off customers who can't remember which frigging make they need

Picnic at Hanging Cock - nothing really happens

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Sep-12 19:45:41

The Queer.

A stranger , peculiar and possibly gay monarch.

LineRunner Thu 20-Sep-12 19:47:51

Shitty Chitty Bang Bang - a wonderful fairytale of toot sweets and salmonella.

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 19:48:26

The Hound of the Buskervilles - Sherlock investigates the murders of the local street entertainers

jammydodger1 Thu 20-Sep-12 19:49:04

Socktail - smellie drinks

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Sep-12 19:49:14

That should have said 'strange' not 'stranger'.

It was a wine fail. (in my defence, I live in the Middle East, where thursdays are fridays, and 19.48 hours is 21.48 hours. grin)

shrinkingnora Thu 20-Sep-12 19:49:22

The Da Vinci Cod
Zorba the Geek

GraceVentura Thu 20-Sep-12 19:49:44

Jen in Black - the tragic tale of a woman who can't escape her fashion rut

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Sep-12 19:50:51

Haha - OrangeKipper - I thought of Picnic at Hanging Cock but I couldn't come up with a worthy subtext - yours is ace!

Lilka Thu 20-Sep-12 19:51:15

Jurassic Ark - Noah allows the Dinosaurs on as well, with predictable results...

(I claim no credit for some of these)

GraceVentura Thu 20-Sep-12 19:53:28

Citizen Bane - a tale of an irritating yet helpful neighbour

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Sep-12 19:54:34

Have we had School of Cock yet?

Sex Training Centre

EvenIfYouSeeAPoppy Thu 20-Sep-12 19:59:01

Calendar Gills - Intrepid WI members raise money with nude calendar involving artfully arranged fish.

Saturday Night Never - John Travolta stuck in an eternal Friday.

Lobe Actually - romance in an ear-piercing studio.

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 19:59:06

Honey, I Shrunk the Skids - Tale of a downtrodden housewife

Robo Cod - a fishy future of crime prevention

Robo Cud - a bovine future of crime prevention

Robo Cad - when robo cop goes bad

ExasperatedSigh Thu 20-Sep-12 19:59:40

Dead Man Wanking - zombie porn

Dear Window - wheelchair-bound man forms unhealthy bond with his aperture

Marled and Me - the story of my love affair with grey knitwear

The Weeding Date - love blooms (sorry) over herbaceous borders

jammydodger1 Thu 20-Sep-12 20:01:38

three men and a bay - the tree took over and made curry a staple!

LemonMousse Thu 20-Sep-12 20:01:54

Laddy Daycare - Eddie Murphy attempts childcare in the Scottish Highlands.

The Silence of the Lamps - Jodie Foster attempts to understand Anthony Hopkins obsession with the John Lewis lighting department.

ExasperatedSigh Thu 20-Sep-12 20:03:33

Draining Day - Denzel Washington needs a nice cup of tea and a sit down after renewing his passport, taking a kettle back to Argos, visiting his PIL etc etc.

Fab thread!

Easy Cider

Crouching tizer hidden dragon

EvenIfYouSeeAPoppy Thu 20-Sep-12 20:06:36

Good Will Bunting - troubled youth reforms by selling on notonthehighstreet

LemonMousse Thu 20-Sep-12 20:06:46

The DaVinci Cole - true story of Simon Cowell's quest to unravel the mystery of Cheryl's Geordie accent.

(Thank you OP for this brilliant thread - loving it! grin )

SuperB0F Thu 20-Sep-12 20:07:42

Big Dandy- Adam Sandler develops his gay fan base in this heartwarming tale of a flamboyantly-dressed foster father.

shock I've created a monster...


Pretty Wogan - Terry gets a makeover

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Sep-12 20:10:10

Dead Man Wanking is FUCKING GENIUS!!!!

SuperB0F Thu 20-Sep-12 20:10:15

Mega-Snark vs Giant Octopus: A tentacled sea-monster gets its feelings hurt.

ExasperatedSigh Thu 20-Sep-12 20:12:04

Sweat Away - Madonna gives toyboy dispensation to 'glow' while stuck on desert island

shrinkingnora Thu 20-Sep-12 20:12:09

Bling me the Head of Alfredo Garcia - Damian Hurst glues diamonds all over Alf's head.

The Bobbit - short fellow gets cut a little shorter

Tabbykat Thu 20-Sep-12 20:15:09

The Bobbit - short hairy guy loses more than his ring shock

Look Who's Talcin' - nosy ladies in the changing rooms

Die Lard - one woman's diet struggle

JumpJockey Thu 20-Sep-12 20:16:22

The Lost Toys - The two Coreys searching for their favourite cuddlies in a town full of vampires.

Pretty in Pine - Molly Ringwald's attempt to redecorate goes wrong

Picky Cristina Barcelona - foolish girl decides that Javier Bardem isn't quite fit enough

Turn after Reading - a simple set of directions leads to disaster

Farto - snowy murder investigation takes a whiffy turn

The Wig Lebowski - the Dude needs his ponytail, man.

EugenesAxe Thu 20-Sep-12 20:18:22

Apocalypse Mow - gardening in the face of Beelzebub and all his hellish instruments of death.

JumpJockey Thu 20-Sep-12 20:18:45

The Curious case of Benjamin Mutton - sheep gives birth to suspiciously ancient looking lamb

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 20:18:49

A Fishfull of Dollars - An avenging, tobacco chewing Cowboy cleans up the towns fish markets.

thefirstmrsrochester Thu 20-Sep-12 20:19:10

Saturday Night Beaver

JumpJockey Thu 20-Sep-12 20:19:44

A loom with a view - Helena B C gets all medieval

SirSugar Thu 20-Sep-12 20:20:16

King Dong


Independence Dad

Pretty In Mink

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 20:21:46

The Great Brain Robbery - Life of a pregnant woman/mother

The Fucket List - things you HAVE to do before you die.

SirSugar Thu 20-Sep-12 20:23:10

White Men Cunt Jump

EvenIfYouSeeAPoppy Thu 20-Sep-12 20:24:01

Silence of the Iambs - Jodie Foster dangerously beguiled by serial killer's classical poetry.

Scratch - gritty gangsters with nits
The two mowers - search for the elusive 2 lawn mowers
Dude, where's my ear - van goghs life story (?)

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 20:24:57

Fanny Kill - Adventures of an 18th Century woman of pleasure

Ocean's Elven - apparently Mordor is now in Vegas.

JumpJockey Thu 20-Sep-12 20:25:23

The Wicker Map - bloody hard to fold up, not at all handy for travel

Tory! Tory! Tory! - the story of Margaret Thatcher, David Cameron and Iain Duncan-Smith attacked by Japanese bombers while on holiday in Hawaii.

JumpJockey Thu 20-Sep-12 20:26:39

The Treat Train Robbery - noooooo! There go all the chocolates!

SuperB0F Thu 20-Sep-12 20:26:40

Perms Of Endearment- Shirley MacLaine copes with losing her hair.

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 20:27:15

Every Which Way But Goose

LineRunner Thu 20-Sep-12 20:27:45

The Way The Earth Stood Still - far-fetched astronomical conjecture starring Professor Brian Cox

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 20:28:02

I'm bloody addicted to this thread blush

EvenIfYouSeeAPoppy Thu 20-Sep-12 20:28:04

The Ears of the Roses - nightmarish sci-fi thriller revolving around flowers genetically modified with human DNA.

germyrabbit Thu 20-Sep-12 20:29:14

maws never go into the steriliser again

The Thong - when underwear attacks.

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 20:31:34

How To Dose A Guy In 10 Days - Ms Hudson uses illegal drugs to get a guy to fall in love with her

LineRunner Thu 20-Sep-12 20:35:22


Norman Bates understands himself and doesn't kill anyone after all

HappyHippyChick Thu 20-Sep-12 20:35:37

Great thread! I've nominated it for classics purely on the strength of "Dobbie does Dallas" grin

TheOwlsAreNotWhatTheySeem Thu 20-Sep-12 20:38:28

The Hives of Others Bees spying on each other in Eastern Germany.

Don't Cook Now Small woman in red coat scares grieving couple out of kitchen.

Little Mass Sunshine child beauty pageant hosted in small catholic church.

Curse of the Golden Blower Midas' anus wrecks havoc after a dodgy curry...

sassytheFIRST Thu 20-Sep-12 20:38:57

Dude, where's my ear - INSPIRED.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 20:39:17

Can't stay away from this thread - it's excellent!

Saturday Night Lever - John Travolta plays a passionate dancer who discovers he lives in a magic apartment. Every Saturday night a mysterious lever appears. Can John figure out what the lever does while still maintaining a good sense of rhythm?

JellyBelly10 Thu 20-Sep-12 20:39:58

Boys 'n' the hoof - Street-gang drama involving a horse's foot
9 and a half leeks - Seductive story about making welsh soup
Forrest Dump - man gets caught short whilst out walking in the woods
Flask Gordon - Space travelling tea-drinker likes a brew on the go
The Chimp - Tear-jerker about a boxing ape
Brain-spotting - gritty urban drama about someone looking for clever people

meditrina Thu 20-Sep-12 20:42:25

Arsenal and Old Lace - crossdressing footballers meet murderous old ladies

Lulu - 60s singer defends Rourke's Drift

meditrina Thu 20-Sep-12 20:44:45

Rash of the Titans - Greek heroes brought down by chafing

The Lizard of Oz - he really isn't what he seems

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 20:45:18

Rash - some people think chicken pox is hot ...

SpecialAgentSpade Thu 20-Sep-12 20:46:02

Pope Springs- The Pope escapes from a prison in the Vatican

Tomorrow never lies- story of a fortune teller

Dirty Lancing- Lance fighting film

Knights Tail- Rodent Knights of the round cheese table

LineRunner Thu 20-Sep-12 20:46:22

The Big Child

A group of seven former college friends meet up and realise that one of them has an enormous baby.

iklboo Thu 20-Sep-12 20:47:34

Live & Let Diet - a porky Bond in a race to fit back in his tux

Brighten Rock - one man's bid to spruce up Gibraltar

Happy Feel - x rated penguin movie

EvenIfYouSeeAPoppy Thu 20-Sep-12 20:48:39

(with apologies to whoever thought up the genius Hove, Actually)

Shakespeare in Hove - the Bard shakes up genteel seaside town

BelfastBloke Thu 20-Sep-12 20:50:41

Ferris Beuller's Gay-Off - Ferris and Cameron leave Sloane behind the next time they go to the swimming pool

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 20:52:40

"Dude, where's my ear" - genius smile

NicholasTeakozy Thu 20-Sep-12 20:53:48

Four Weldings and a Funeral. A man gets his car through its MOT so he can go to his mates burial.

Top Gin. What it says on the bottle tin.

Hot Fezz. The quest to put out the fire in Tommy Coopers hat.

Start Wars. An infomercial for Messrs Blair and Bush.

Where Beagles Dare. Escape from a smoking lab for dogs.

Iron sty. Nazis breeding pigs. On the moon.

Get Farter

Yohoahoy Thu 20-Sep-12 20:55:13

A Clockwork Orang - remake of a Clint Eastwood classic featuring a robotic primate sidekick


<gravitates helplessly towards potty humour>

EvenIfYouSeeAPoppy Thu 20-Sep-12 20:56:14

Flues Brothers - gasmen on the road

SuperB0F Thu 20-Sep-12 20:58:11

Slags Of Our Fathers- A nostalgic look at wartime brothels.

KurriKurri Thu 20-Sep-12 21:03:37

Glaciator - Roman general seeks revenge in Norway

Glade Runner - Androids go crazy with air freshener

All the President's Fen - phone hacking in East Anglia

Margo - Mrs Leadbetter murders the Goodes and shoves them through a shredder.

Lexilicious Thu 20-Sep-12 21:04:36

WIG - Tom Hanks learns to cope with the effects of ageing.

puds11 Thu 20-Sep-12 21:07:15

In the tight garden- a story about the benefits of pelvic toners

The fat returns- a story about weight gain

Never been pissed- a story of sobriety

Bobin' hood- a story of one mans livelyhood

SucksFake Thu 20-Sep-12 21:08:05

Fife is Beautiful. The Scottish Tourist Board encourages its employees to compete for a tank.

Crave. Princess Merida's pregnancy diary.

Calamity Pane. Shards of glass everywhere.

Fatman Begins. A young boy gorges on a diet of McDonald's, crisps and chocolate bars.

The Princess and the Frig.....

Lexilicious Thu 20-Sep-12 21:09:35

The Whining - A family heads to an isolated hotel for the winter where their toddler cries incessantly.

ScrambledSmegs Thu 20-Sep-12 21:10:38

Children of Ken - Ken Livingstone fathers numerous offspring, hilarious events ensue

Bean Streets - like Mean Streets, but with beans.

Jumping Jack Flesh - Whoopi does whoopee...

JumpJockey Thu 20-Sep-12 21:10:54

Largo - slow moving minnesotan crime story takes even longer to solve than usual

moonieponds Thu 20-Sep-12 21:12:04

Bill and Ned - Bogus adventures with a donkey.

ScrambledSmegs Thu 20-Sep-12 21:12:07

Sorry, that was meant to be 'Whoopi makes whoopee'

Lexilicious Thu 20-Sep-12 21:12:58

Das Toot - The claustrophobic world of a WWII German U-boat; boredom, filth, and then to top it all someone farts.

JumpJockey Thu 20-Sep-12 21:14:02

9 1/2 leeks - Welsh erotica

Lexilicious Thu 20-Sep-12 21:15:17

Requiem for a Bream - overly sentimental diner at a fish restaurant.

Blu Thu 20-Sep-12 21:15:22

Best Erotic Marigold Hotel
Harry Potter and the Deathly Mallows

SuperB0F Thu 20-Sep-12 21:16:10

Creaky Friday- Disney film in which a young girl trades places with her arthritic grandmother.

LadyInPink Thu 20-Sep-12 21:18:05

Cool Hunnings - netmums fave film!

Mirage Thu 20-Sep-12 21:19:37

Dolt-thick cartoon dog
Pie Hard-crime fighting northern style
For whom the bell trolls
Thelma and Louse-adventures in head scratching
A Fish called Wanka
The Prefect Storm
My stepladder is an Alien [I know,more than one letter].

HawaiianPig Thu 20-Sep-12 21:21:08

Reservoir Docs - David Tennant and Matt Smith in bank heist / time travel saga

LadyInPink Thu 20-Sep-12 21:21:54

The Lizard of Oz

The Sodfather

SuperB0F Thu 20-Sep-12 21:22:46

Local Nero- A Roman Emporer stays home to play his fiddle.

SelfRighteousPrissyPants Thu 20-Sep-12 21:25:24

Wind in the Pillows- rubbish sex life/ rom com.

Love where Beagles Dare grin

headinhands Thu 20-Sep-12 21:25:44

Get Ham To The Greek - edge of your seat drama about a delicatessens struggle to deliver niace/naice ham to local Cypriot restaurant on time through London's rush hour.

SuperB0F Thu 20-Sep-12 21:26:21

The Pubic Enemy- crabs attack 'thirties gangsters.

handbagCrab Thu 20-Sep-12 21:26:24

Laughing my head off at 'Jews', 'Jedward Scissorhands' and 'Batmon'. And 'Star Bars'! And 'Haslet'!


FellatioNelson Thu 20-Sep-12 21:29:20


Teenaged gang angst.

moonieponds Thu 20-Sep-12 21:30:22

Fiddler on the Moof - Vag and violin musical starring Topol.

SuperB0F Thu 20-Sep-12 21:32:23

Rear Widow- a wife is abandoned for a compulsive bumsex hobby.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Thu 20-Sep-12 21:35:06

Reservoir Mogs - a gang of cats think about robbing a bank, decide it's too much effort

maresedotes Thu 20-Sep-12 21:35:08

It's A Wonderful Line - the real reason he's happy at the end.

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Thu 20-Sep-12 21:35:23

Candymun - a mythical, hook handed serial killer from the Welsh Valleys

KurriKurri Thu 20-Sep-12 21:37:37

Glandhi - one man's use of passive resistance curtails an outbreak of mumps.

headinhands Thu 20-Sep-12 21:38:20

I'm never eating a bowl of fruit loops while mning again!

FellatioNelson Thu 20-Sep-12 21:40:13

Single Shite Female

SelfRighteousPrissyPants Thu 20-Sep-12 21:43:32

DIY of the Damned -bit like my Dad's.

SuperB0F Thu 20-Sep-12 21:43:47

The Dank Knight Rises- Adventure set in a fetid cellar.

KurriKurri Thu 20-Sep-12 21:44:04

The Gold Bush - lovable little tramp makes his fortune vajazzling

SuperB0F Thu 20-Sep-12 21:46:40

Sex In The Pity 2: a faintly racist romp in which four Manhattanite girls-about-town feel sorry for Arabs.

LadyInPink Thu 20-Sep-12 21:48:30

Slack Beauty

Treat Expectations


LadyInPink Thu 20-Sep-12 21:51:47

Captain Horatio Pornblower

Vest Wide Story

handbagCrab Thu 20-Sep-12 21:51:49

Let Him Shave It.

A man is hung for his beliefs with regards to gender equality and hair free nethers.

handbagCrab Thu 20-Sep-12 21:53:42


Futuristic cross dressers battle against neon lines.

KurriKurri Thu 20-Sep-12 21:55:17

Last Mango in Paris - a desperate search for smoothie ingredients

handbagCrab Thu 20-Sep-12 21:56:20

Hill Bill.

A man of modest means and teeth searches for the absence of 'why' in his existence.

LadyInPink Thu 20-Sep-12 21:58:00

Cleofatra - the version with the overweight Elizabeth Taylor

Lexilicious Thu 20-Sep-12 21:58:59

Trevors - Natives of a small isolated town defend themselves against strange underground trainspotters which are killing them one by one.

LadyInPink Thu 20-Sep-12 22:01:09

James and the giant perch

LadyInPink Thu 20-Sep-12 22:04:03

The Huns Story - netmums blog

Easter Charade (ok two letters)

Right i'm def off to bed now...

ScatterChasse Thu 20-Sep-12 22:04:50

The Solar Express- A non-believer's trip to the sun.

The Bing and I- Tear-jerking love story featuring everybody's favourite crooner.

Toe story - buzz and woody compare athletes foot

handbagCrab Thu 20-Sep-12 22:10:51

Piss Potter.

She does have a pot to piss in after her success writing children's books.

TandB Thu 20-Sep-12 22:12:06

Dull - a lorry chases a car for a bit before getting bored and going home

Chariots of Firs - the life and times of a Christmas tree delivery cart driver

The Quilt Man - a stranger arrives in a small Irish town and sweeps the squire's sister off her feet with the beauty of his stitch-in-the-ditch

Apocalypse Not - just another quiet day

ExasperatedSigh Thu 20-Sep-12 22:12:45

Mangel Heart - jaded cop discovers he is the beetroot devil.

LemonMousse Thu 20-Sep-12 22:13:08

Mary Pappins - Julie Andrews finds herself knee deep in shit on her latest nannying job.

The Hound of Music - caring Bassett realises he's not cut out to be a nun.

Holiday Ink - snowed into a hotel for Christmas, Bing Crosby passes the time tattoing his fellow guests.

Wanchors Aweigh - lots of seamen.....

Doctor Poopittle - Eddie Murphy plays an incontinent vet.

ExasperatedSigh Thu 20-Sep-12 22:14:00

I am actually, genuinely crying with laughter at this thread btw grin

TandB Thu 20-Sep-12 22:14:24

Logan's Bun - one man's fight for everyone's right to fresh-baked goods

ExasperatedSigh Thu 20-Sep-12 22:14:42

Boyz N The Mood - under the counter gangland thrill ride

TandB Thu 20-Sep-12 22:16:31

Dangerous Mings - Michelle Pfeiffer takes on some deadly porcelain

ExasperatedSigh Thu 20-Sep-12 22:16:34

Pube - six strangers trapped in a deadly maze must work together to solve the mystery of who left their stray hair stuck to the soap.

handbagCrab Thu 20-Sep-12 22:16:47

Annie Hull.

Woody Allens ode to his first love, Humberside.

SleepyLittleSunshineGirl Thu 20-Sep-12 22:17:23

Little Miss Hunshine - road trio movie with group of Huns

The Ode Couple

Muriel's Weeding

The Devil Wears Playdo (cheats slightly)

The Snotman

Toe Story

TandB Thu 20-Sep-12 22:19:11

A fist full of collars - a shirt maker saves a frontier town from bad guys

Some of these films sound better than the originals....

ontheedgeofwhatever Thu 20-Sep-12 22:20:40

Host Busters - Guests behave very badly at a party

Cats and Hogs- A group of cats are insulted by some pigs and decide to invade their sty with terrifying results

20000 leagues under the tea - The mighty PG tips and Typhoo engage in war and flood the world with tea

handbagCrab Thu 20-Sep-12 22:22:29

The Woman in Blank.

Daniel Radliffe spends two hours trying to figure out the missing word in order to receive a unique chequebook and pen.

ExasperatedSigh Thu 20-Sep-12 22:22:59

You've Hot Mail - Tom Hanks sorts out Meg Ryan's email issues.

ScrambledSmegs Thu 20-Sep-12 22:24:37

Handyman - you need to call him 5 times before he actually turns up.

ExasperatedSigh Thu 20-Sep-12 22:25:56

They Dined With Their Boots On - an exploration of Custer's mess hall habits

TandB Thu 20-Sep-12 22:27:53

I just nearly wee-ed a bit at Handyman!

SuperB0F Thu 20-Sep-12 22:30:39

Me too, kungfu grin

ExasperatedSigh Thu 20-Sep-12 22:31:30

Me three grin I need to go to bed, dammit - there is a brand new mattress awaiting me upstairs, and yet I can't tear myself away from this thread.

LemonMousse Thu 20-Sep-12 22:32:11

Revita - Argentinians struggle to find a suitable crispbread.

handbagCrab Thu 20-Sep-12 22:34:01

The Running Ham.

A poor piggy finds himself trying to escape a deadly reality tv show.

Four Weedings and a Funeral - gardener dies in suspicious circumstances....

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 22:39:50

"Fleshdance"... strictly in the nuddy

SleepyLittleSunshineGirl Thu 20-Sep-12 22:40:04

Not Fuzz - two men who Aren't coppers in a rather dull film

The Form - tense thriller in which hero battles to fill out an insurance claim before time runs out

Glowers in the attic - 4 children are rather cross that their mum makes them live in the loft


Viagara - couple need chemical assistance on a visit to the falls

All about my Bother - a middle aged lady called Gladys talks about her waterworks

handbagCrab Thu 20-Sep-12 22:40:27

Porking Girl

Melanie Griffiths secretly runs Sigourney Weaver's pig farm to further success and wins Harrison Ford's heart in the process.

meditrina Thu 20-Sep-12 22:41:43

The Karate Skid - no one can get those sports clothes clean.

seeker Thu 20-Sep-12 22:42:39

Somebody has suggested Snacks on a Plane haven't they?

ExasperatedSigh Thu 20-Sep-12 22:42:39

Pratty In Pink - someone should have told her the truth about that dress.

handbagCrab Thu 20-Sep-12 22:42:59


A grown hog makes a wish on the pier and wakes up to find he's in the shit, as a little piglet again!

There's definitely some piggy puns out there.

SleepyLittleSunshineGirl Thu 20-Sep-12 22:43:59

Mend It Like Beckham - a woman has a tummy tuck and caesarean in one go.

handbagCrab Thu 20-Sep-12 22:46:06

Pretty in Oink.

Molly Ringwald grows up and chooses a pig for the prom instead of a Ducky.

exasperated thanks for the inspiration smile

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 22:49:17

"Dunces with Wolves".... a moving story of intellectually challenged footballers

Whatiswitnit Thu 20-Sep-12 22:53:18

The Breakfast Blub - tragic tale of cereal and spilt milk
Planet of the Ales - A futuristic dystopian tale of a CAMRA pub crawl

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 22:53:46

"The Lazykillers"... classic black comedy about a gang of hardened criminals that just can't be arsed

ontheedgeofwhatever Thu 20-Sep-12 22:55:13

Peter Ran - little boy Peter runs away from home

The Aristobats - Vampires take their righful place in the bat hierarchy

ariadneoliver Thu 20-Sep-12 22:56:01

Star Wags - footballers' wives in space

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 23:01:53

"The Adventures of Tintit"... feature length Madonna video

Bumbo - featuring an innovative circus baby seat with the power to fly....

PopOozeTheFastest Thu 20-Sep-12 23:05:22

From Hull - Johnny Depp searches for Jack The Ripper amongst the prostitutes of Hull.

Jams - a nice film about the WI's jam making activities. Not a shark in sight.

handbagCrab Thu 20-Sep-12 23:10:46

Snow White and the Hantsman.

A beautiful, down on her luck, magical princess finds love and power with the help of a bloke from the Home Counties.

Dude, Where's My Cap? - Angry scenes in a downtown contraception clinic as sexually frustrated women rebel during a cataclysmic worldwide diaphragm shortage.

Bandhi - A cataclysmic worldwide shortage of vitamin D leads to a massive rise in cases of rickets - with a whole generation of humans unable to stop a pig in a ginnel. Dolph Lundgren stars as maverick doctor Chad T. Knee-Straightener who abseils in to deliver the leg-saving drugs to afflicted communities across the globe.

G.U. Jane - Heartwarming tale of maverick clap clinic nurse Jane Knobswab who struggles against a tidal wave of seepage in a cataclysmic worldwide gonorrhea outbreak.

handbagCrab Thu 20-Sep-12 23:14:16


Animated adventure with a superbug learning how to be part of a community through interacting with regular viruses.

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 23:14:42

"As Wood As It Gets"... frank confessions of a failed porn star.

Eyes wide shit - Nicole Kidman suffers shock as she tries to curl out a real donkey leg sized stool....

handbagCrab Thu 20-Sep-12 23:21:17


Phil Collins pulls off a massive pledge and yellow cloth heist.

handbagCrab Thu 20-Sep-12 23:22:49

Len Miserables.

A unhappy man experiences life's woes around Paris and Dudley.

PopOozeTheFastest Thu 20-Sep-12 23:23:35

Chicken Rum - exploring a new poultry based variety of Bacardi.

Flight Club - Brad Pitt joins the mile high club in the most confusing film ever.

Wrong Turd - uh oh!

CogitoErgoSometimes Thu 20-Sep-12 23:24:24

"Mark Poppins".... the emotional story of a pre-op tranny nanny.

The Jazz Minger ~ he had the talent, but not the looks to make it....

BelfastBloke Thu 20-Sep-12 23:36:04

'Run Cola Run' - new Coke recipe gives everyone the shits.

handbagCrab Thu 20-Sep-12 23:43:38

Mad Tax.

In a dystopian future earth, the last accountant decides to take on the remnants of the inland revenue.

PatFenis Thu 20-Sep-12 23:46:05

Resevoir Digs - unsuspecting university students wake to find their accomodation under thirty feet of water

handbagCrab Thu 20-Sep-12 23:46:34

Dick Tracer

Madonna and Warren Beatty do some sexy detective work with charcoal and grease proof paper.

handbagCrab Thu 20-Sep-12 23:49:26

Judge Bredd.

Paul Hollywood kicks ass assessing soggy bottoms. I really need to sleep now!

Waferworld - one man's search for the perfect accompaniment to ice cream.

KurriKurri Thu 20-Sep-12 23:55:04

FA*S*H - the seldom told story of John Fashanu's post football activities, treating the wounded in Korea.

KurriKurri Thu 20-Sep-12 23:57:39

The Whining - Jack Nicholson goes crazy, after hearing for the millionth time that his kids don't like their holiday accommodation.

Quodlibet Fri 21-Sep-12 00:04:35

Days of Chunder
Four Weedings and a Funeral
Gove, Actually

Raiders Of The Lost Art - a man searches the attic for his pre-school artwork

Modern Limes - a film by Hugh Fernley Whittingstall

SkippyYourFriendEverTrue Fri 21-Sep-12 02:30:27

Schindler's Lisp
Lawrence of Alabia
Dye Hard
The Night of the Cunter
A Beautiful Mint
Rain Mat

legspinner Fri 21-Sep-12 02:48:38

Taxi Drover - a tale about underage cattle herding

Fiddler on the Reef (ok, 2 changes)

Pulp Friction / Pup Fiction / Pump Faction (variations on a theme)

Stir Wars - when bake-offs go bad

Allens - in space, no-one can hear you unlock things

Cider Mouse Rules

Mamma Moa (a giant flightless extinct bird with a parental identity crisis goes off to a Greek island to get married)

Lord of the Wings - where the Fellowship flies away

Take the Whether with You (a bad spell of weather...sorry! and that was a song too, not a film blush)

Fold of Dreams - If you iron them, they will come.

FellatioNelson Fri 21-Sep-12 04:43:35

Last Mango in Paris (the tragic story of an exotic fruits shortage caused by striking French airport workers who refuse to unload air freight)

Apocalypse Not. How the end of the world was averted by a team of brave mothers with Oh Fuck Rucksacks and a shit-hot gameplan.

saffronwblue Fri 21-Sep-12 05:54:02

Blend it Like Beckham
Healthy juices with a football star!

The Kong and I - how love transformed the behavior of an arrogant Thai dog.

saffronwblue Fri 21-Sep-12 05:55:54

Harry Potter and the Deathly Shallows.
A young man dives into the wrong end of a pool.

saffronwblue Fri 21-Sep-12 05:57:44

Vanilla Shy

Tom Cruise is modest and unassuming.

saffronwblue Fri 21-Sep-12 06:05:40

My life as a dot

The first punctuation to go up into space...

Yamyoid Fri 21-Sep-12 06:23:31

Judge Bredd - like the great British bake off. In 3D.
Jurassic Perk - benefits for being a dinosaur.

Yamyoid Fri 21-Sep-12 06:30:32

Damn judge bredd's been done.
A-men - praying superheroes.

TanteRose Fri 21-Sep-12 06:31:47

The Tills Have Eyes - horror in Tesco shock

The Tesco Chainsaw Massacre - more horror in Tesco shock grin

Yamyoid Fri 21-Sep-12 06:36:39

The Kate Runner - story of a Duchess' put-upon assistant.

SoupDragon Fri 21-Sep-12 07:14:39

The Time Traveller's Wine - One man's tale of lost evenings after a few bottles of Sancerre

Logan's Hun - netmums go on the run to avoid an untimely death

OrangeKipper Fri 21-Sep-12 08:10:50

Brie Encounter - a repressed Englishwoman's life changes forever when she tastes French cheese

House of the Flying Baggers - it's the quiet one you need to watch at the Wing Yip checkout

Watership Gown - don't ask what happened to Nildro-hain

MrsBucketxx Fri 21-Sep-12 08:29:01

forest grump - a very upset tree surgeon

cut on a hot tin roof - ouchy

waynes word - sherwing?

handbagCrab Fri 21-Sep-12 08:36:47

The Terninator.

A cyborg travels back through time to assassinate a sea bird.

handbagCrab Fri 21-Sep-12 08:43:02

Avengers Assembly.

A group of superheroes are thrown together, can they join up to provide an act of collective worship for Year 8?

LineRunner Fri 21-Sep-12 08:46:19

The Lust of the Mohicans - bad porn with punks

My Bent Friend's Wedding - will he or will he not come out before the big day?

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dralon - Two warriors in search of a sword and some fabric.....

handbagCrab Fri 21-Sep-12 09:04:54


The year before the year the world ends.

handbagCrab Fri 21-Sep-12 09:28:00

Bank to the Future.

A series of films about savings and investments.

Ex-Men - Transexual superheroes save the world

Lexilicious Fri 21-Sep-12 10:21:42

Indiana Hones - a trilogy about an artisan wood carver and his swashbuckling efforts to retrieve priceless artefacts from the Pedlars warhouse.

Lexilicious Fri 21-Sep-12 10:22:11

or even warehouse

RebeccaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 21-Sep-12 10:24:12

We have moved this to Mumsnet Classics now grin

My Left Foof - A woman born with an unusually designed private area sets out to discover whatever she can about one side of it...

Portofino Fri 21-Sep-12 11:02:59

The Band that Time Forgot - a Bros retrospective.
Indescant Proposal - millionaire asks beautiful woman to join his recorder group.
Gurn After Reading - a feminist reaction to Fifty Shades of Grey

Portofino Fri 21-Sep-12 11:11:03

Shred - an ogre gets fit
The Flask of Zorro - a nice cup of tea after a rigorous sword fight.
Dr Nob.

A wank to remember .... a North Carolina teen decides he is quite happy to stay single. Forget romance!

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mink.... A story of a mink's path to spiritual enlightenment

aufaniae Fri 21-Sep-12 11:36:58

Love Finding Emo smile



SuperB0F Fri 21-Sep-12 11:42:59

The Slowman- a little boy misses Christmas when his transport is late.

Starlust - Brian Cox explores his relationship with the Universe
Dial M for Mulder - a sequel to the X-Files, Scully's absence is ineffectively glossed over.

Scrubber Fri 21-Sep-12 11:51:25

The Darn Crystal - members of the WI fight over a mushroom shaped crystal that is particularly good for darning sock heels with.

American Pile - when the yanks get 'em, they're bigger...

evilgiraffe Fri 21-Sep-12 12:11:16

Stay Trek - their five-year mission to boldly, er, remain in dry dock.

Kowalski Fri 21-Sep-12 12:11:35

Planes, Trans and Automobiles - a transexual's struggle to decide on a mode of transport.

9 1/2 Leeks - an erotic vegetable fantasy

Monsters vs Allens - scary creatures attempt to put together Ikea furniture

ChazsGoldAttitude Fri 21-Sep-12 12:15:02

Back to the Couture - heroes travel forward in time to discover the next trend

Bush Hour - kungfu kicking foray into ladies grooming

In Which we Perve - dodgy goings on in a wartime destroyer

Star Wars: Revenge of the Shit - oh hang on, didn't that one get made!

Spar Trek - to boldly go to the corner shop (Its food Jim but not as we know it)

evilgiraffe Fri 21-Sep-12 12:22:47

Apocalypse No - alternative ending to the Vietnam War

evilgiraffe Fri 21-Sep-12 12:26:33

Reservoir Digs - lots of men with shovels and JCBs constructing a new water facility

Lexilicious Fri 21-Sep-12 12:28:30

Mystic Rivet - engineers' buddy movie

evilgiraffe Fri 21-Sep-12 12:28:50

Indiana Jones and the Fast Crusade - the Holy Grail is found within minutes in this 10-minute short

Kowalski Fri 21-Sep-12 12:29:37

Reservoir jogs - fitness gangster style

Life as we knot it - scouting documentary

Forrest Gimp...

evilgiraffe Fri 21-Sep-12 12:30:37

Die Bard - John McClane has to save William Shakespeare after he's taken hostage

evilgiraffe Fri 21-Sep-12 12:31:58

Meat - a group of professional butchers start to feel the heat from police

evilgiraffe Fri 21-Sep-12 12:34:35

Lack Swan - a prima ballerina absconds from her performances

evilgiraffe Fri 21-Sep-12 12:35:50

There Will Be Bloom - documentary about the Chelsea Flower Show

Portofino Fri 21-Sep-12 12:36:43

The Seven Year Bitch - the Mumsnet Movie

evilgiraffe Fri 21-Sep-12 12:37:12

A Beautiful Mint - a mathematician enjoys a Polo

Portofino Fri 21-Sep-12 12:41:07

Quatermass and the Pot

Portofino Fri 21-Sep-12 12:41:55

Alcie - young misogynist turns to the bottle.

KurriKurri Fri 21-Sep-12 13:00:34

Forrest Hump - naive young man seeks sex in woodland areas.

Apocalypse Cow - A mission deep into Cambodia, to eradicate genetically modified beef.

The Great Hatsby - one man's love affair with his trilby.

Groat Expectations - a poor mediaeval orphan dreams of riches

KurriKurri Fri 21-Sep-12 13:05:32

Vest Side Story - rival gangs vogue it out over underwear.

shrinkingnora Fri 21-Sep-12 13:23:28

Die Bard - Elizabethan hitman gets his man
A Series of Unfortunate Vents - exceedingly dull film about faulty air conditioners
Ridesmaids - erm...
A Bug's Lift - Grasshoppers in an elevator
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Tone - Harry repeatedly dials the number, only to get the engaged signal

shrinkingnora Fri 21-Sep-12 13:25:31

Harry Potter and the Border of the Phoenix - gardening and fiery birds. What's not to like?

Themumsnot Fri 21-Sep-12 13:31:15

Hove Actually
A woman goes on the offensive after being falsely accused of living in Brighton.

You bastards, I've got work to do and I'm still only on page 9...

shrinkingnora Fri 21-Sep-12 13:38:36

Furious George - angry monkey
The Last and the Furious - they're really cross about losing

shrinkingnora Fri 21-Sep-12 13:40:14

Having thought really hard for some of those, I now realise I really must read the thread more carefully to prevent repetition.....

Top Gut: Mel Gibson eats too many pies to fly a plane in a homoerotic fashion.

THe Itches of Eastwick: Jack Nicholson gives Cher and Susan Sarandon crabs.

SuperB0F Fri 21-Sep-12 13:45:43

Sack To The Future- time travel adventures in burlap.

SoupDragon Fri 21-Sep-12 13:46:01

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Scone - A young wizard in trouble after stealing a cream tea.

NicholasTeakozy Fri 21-Sep-12 13:46:21

Forrest Dump. A moving documentary about bears and their activity in woods.

SuperB0F Fri 21-Sep-12 13:51:02

Fridges Of Madison County- Clint Eastwood brings comfort to a lonely woman with a selection of exciting kitchen white goods.

BelfastBloke Fri 21-Sep-12 13:56:03

Geat Expectations: - Beowulf's early years

The Tummy - how to get that perfect figure

The Tummy Returns - after childbirth, things were never quite the same again

OrangeKipper Fri 21-Sep-12 13:59:45

The Man in the White Suet - (part I) small town baker hits the big time with revolutionary new pudding

Sex, Pies and Videotape - (part II) the aftermath: fame, fortune and scandal

Lara Croft: Womb Raider - when Angelina wants more children, she takes a drastic step...

KurriKurri Fri 21-Sep-12 14:04:31

The Long Good Fry Day - American mafia help Bob Hoskins fulfill his dream of opening a chip shop

shrinkingnora Fri 21-Sep-12 14:05:08

Ben Hurl - Chariot driver gets travel sick

shrinkingnora Fri 21-Sep-12 14:07:16

Swatch - Eastend gangsters team together to steala brightly coloured watch.

LemonEmmaP Fri 21-Sep-12 14:08:20

Tarka the Potter - wildlife documentary showing Tarka's skills with a potter's wheel.

Tarka the Hotter - In a sequel, we learn that Tarka has moved on from pottery, and taken up lap dancing instead.

shrinkingnora Fri 21-Sep-12 14:08:59

Last one from me cause I really must do some work:

12 Donkeys

BelfastBloke Fri 21-Sep-12 14:09:52

I'm liking your work on this thread, SuperBOF.

petrifiedperson Fri 21-Sep-12 14:10:26

The Woman is Black - biopic of the odious Condoleeeeeeeeeeeeeeza Rice

OrangeKipper Fri 21-Sep-12 14:19:24

A Tan for All Seasons - "I die the King's good servant, but Peter Andre's first"

Broadcast Mews - at last, KittenTV

Ire Cold in Alex - it's just too hot to get peeved

Gove is the Devil - (I have nothing to add)

Pus in Boots - an adventurous feline's fight with paw gangrene

madanascar - a zany zebra and its best friend, a lion, conquer the world of tropical stock car racing

petrifiedperson Fri 21-Sep-12 14:21:54

What Breams May Come - a swashbuckling tale of..... fishing

Portofino Fri 21-Sep-12 14:24:22

Steeping Beauty - after a sewing incident the heroine takes to the bottle.

Walk the Lice - a country singer's lifelong battle with nits

Portofino Fri 21-Sep-12 14:27:10

The Towelling Inferno - 100s must escape the blaze in the bathroom department at John Lewis.

petrifiedperson Fri 21-Sep-12 14:28:04

White Hen Can't Jump - a damning expose of racism in the avian trampolining community

winemakesmeclever Fri 21-Sep-12 14:29:08

Top Gin - Tom Cruise discovers that some gin brands are infinitely superior to others.

Portofino Fri 21-Sep-12 14:30:02

Shat on Hot Tin Roof - adventures in the slums of Mumbai.

Portofino Fri 21-Sep-12 14:31:49

The Hoarse Whisperer - Robert Redford with tonsilitus.

petrifiedperson Fri 21-Sep-12 14:33:01

Kreamer vs Kreamer - naked ambition and murder in the coffee-whitening manufacturing industry

Portofino Fri 21-Sep-12 14:33:11

Bare fool in the Park

The Germinator - Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as a futuristic gardener sent back in time to replough some fields

The Curious Cafe of Benjamin Button - Brad Pitt finds himself getting younger and younger whilst sipping a mochaccino latte

BrianCoxIsUpTheDuff Fri 21-Sep-12 14:48:30

Babs the heartwarming tale of an ex Carry-On star and her attempt to be a sheep dog.

The Kite Hunner a tale of turbulent times and kites on Nethuns

The Lost Toys Buzz and Woody lure innocent Ben 10 into a dark and bewildering life centred on vampiric lust and tyranny.

petrifiedperson Fri 21-Sep-12 14:52:07

rofl brian grin

Portofino Fri 21-Sep-12 14:53:53

The Lady Varnishes - High jinks in a wood workshop.

The Perminator - Arnie goes to the future in search of revolutionary styling products.

Fook - Peter Pan loses his ability to fly.

The Beer Hunter - Meryl goes on a pub crawl.

The Scorpion Kink - handcuffs and whips and dangerous insects, oh my!