Please help me with my 'Little Book of Hindsight' for DS's 18th

(205 Posts)
LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Sep-12 08:19:51


My DS is 18 on Monday. (sob)

As my parents died when I was in my early 20s and I've really missed their advice over the years, I've bought a gorgeous little book and I'm writing in it all the things I think it's useful to know. I've called it 'The Little Book of Hindsight ... or How Not To Bugger It Up'

I've put funny things in as well as serious things eg the correct response when a woman asks if her bum looks big in this (and an example of an incorrect response for fun). I've said try to save 1/4 of your net income etc etc.

I know he needs to learn by his own mistakes but I thought this would be nice - and it isn't a book of rules.

He knows I'm writing it and likes the idea but asked for it to be funny.

Please can you help.

lisaro Fri 14-Sep-12 08:21:57

The oldest one-don't eat yellow snow. What a cracking idea, especially with the reasoning behind it.

DelGirl Fri 14-Sep-12 08:25:49

sounds like something to show to a publisher, love the sound of it! Maybe someone on here could point you in the right direction.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Sep-12 08:31:02

Good one Lisaro

No I'd never want to publish such a personal thing - but I can see it might be an idea that would catch on.

I'm leaving blank pages too so he can put things in for himself when he learns them and maybe pass it to his own kids.

Though I don't intend 'checking out' until my kids/grandkids are sick to death of me. Bloody parents - I hadn't finished with them yet. <dark humour - in case anyone thinks I am a raging narc>

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Sep-12 08:34:52

Oh I see - this could be taken for a fake thread for a publisher! Sorry, penny finally drops!

No I'm genuine, honest. Though I have namedchanged recently so I can see why you might think that. Please do ask the powers that be to check my history if you'd like to be sure. smile

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Sep-12 08:53:50

Ok I've got myself in a bit of a stew about this looking like a 'fishing/troll' post so I've reported it to HQ and asked them to check me out.

I would really appreciate some help with this.

And thread title should be DS not DH (force of habit) - clue to why I namechanged

Mrsjay Fri 14-Sep-12 09:06:58

If she says she is FINE she isn't

Feel the fear and do it anyway ( obviously not stealing cars or jumping off cliffs)

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Sep-12 09:09:50

Thanks Mrsjay - the first one made me laugh out loud. It's also really useful as I'm the only female in the house so he will need 'breaking in' smile

Off to work now.

DelGirl Fri 14-Sep-12 09:18:36

grin sprry my post was genuine, i'm not a troll seeker, have better things to do. I was serious. smile

DelGirl Fri 14-Sep-12 09:20:36

I still think it'd be worth considering.......stack up a few pennies for the future.

DontmindifIdo Fri 14-Sep-12 09:33:27

How about some work ones: If a recruitment agency mentions casually that they do "a lot of work for X company" or "X company is one of our best clients" ask if X company is massively expanding. If these aren't new roles, then the reason they are a great client for the recuitment agency is that they can't hold staff. Any company that can't hold onto staff is to be avoided, you'll be one of those looking to move in 6 months time.

If you are overpaid for the market/your level of experience, you'll be the first to go when the economy takes a downturn, this is not a good position to be in long term.

When you go for a job interview, reception staff and secretarial staff are often asked their opinion of the person being interviewed, you are being interviewed from the second you walk through the front door of the building, not from the second you walk into the interview room.

archfiend Fri 14-Sep-12 09:34:26

Sounds like a fantastic idea!

My mother's advice to me throughout my life has always been 'always have something to fall back on', ie equip yourself with skills that you can use in different jobs etc.

Also, when I was leaving for university - if you are miserable it's probably not worth it and don't join a cult.

That advice has served me pretty well!

GoldenBabooshka Fri 14-Sep-12 09:35:31

Pizza is not a balanced breakfast (unless it has peppers or pineapple on it, one of your 5 a day!)

Never get a tattoo when drunk.

Don't let your washing build up. <stares at laundry pile and weeps>

Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.

Never miss an opportunity to make a great memory.

Beer before wine- feeling fine. Wine before beer- feeling queer. (learnt that one the hard way, bleurgh envy vom)

DontmindifIdo Fri 14-Sep-12 09:42:12

Always public back your DP, save telling them you think there were in the wrong for private - public face (including with your own family!) should always be a united front.

RosemarySalt Fri 14-Sep-12 09:44:05

Great advice from a friend of mine that has stood me in good stead: always look people in the eye and smile.
Other things I've learned:
Be nice. It's so easy to be bitchy and put people down but it always comes back to bite you.
Find out what you enjoy doing and do it as much as you can, that way you'll build skills doing something that makes you happy.
Do whatever you're doing to the best of your ability even if you don't like it or didn't choose to do it - people will notice and you'll get opportunities to do the things you do love and are good at (see above!)
Totally agree with 'if she says she's FINE she isn't " by the way grin

Always look after your shoes properly. You'll save yourself a fortune.

Oh, and surely you have to add 'did you mean to be so rude?'? That should be printed on babies at birth grin

EnjoyGOLDResponsibly Fri 14-Sep-12 09:47:45

Try and save 10% of your salary, but at worse have a months salary in your account to fall back on.

Test your boiler in May. It will save you having to frantically get quotes in September (just wrote this in DHs hindsight book)

If it looks too good to be true, it probably is.

HIV doesn't just happen to other people.

Never piss into the wind.

Just do it!

OrangeKat Fri 14-Sep-12 09:49:45

Wear sun lotion.
The photos you star in now will still be there when you get married. Be careful.
Spending your student loan on a load of old bolleaux is bad. YOu will still be paying for that night out in 15 years time.

hattifattner Fri 14-Sep-12 09:50:08

Sometimes it is better to seek forgiveness after than ask permission before.

Look after your teeth - your smile is one of your biggest assets. It will give you confidence and make you more attractive.

Be generous with your time and your love. You get back what you put in to relationships.

panicnotanymore Fri 14-Sep-12 09:50:17

Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.

Never be too friendly in the office. You want to be the one people like, but are ever so slightly scared of.

Don't be anyone's doormat.

panicnotanymore Fri 14-Sep-12 09:51:57

Another - give credit where credit is due. Train your staff well, and acknowledge their work. Loyalty works both ways.

NCForNow Fri 14-Sep-12 09:53:17

When everything seems to be going wrong, it probably wasn't right in the first place.

oreocrumbs Fri 14-Sep-12 09:53:51

When there is no light at the end of the tunnel - stomp on down and turn the bugger on yourself. i.e make things happen.

NCForNow Fri 14-Sep-12 09:53:57

Even men need to moisturize!

ShiirleyKnott Fri 14-Sep-12 09:54:22

Don't be afraid. Of anything ever. Apart from snakes.

CadleCrap Fri 14-Sep-12 10:00:13

arf @ Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things

Always ring your Mum, even if it is just to say Hello.

Cameraneverlies Fri 14-Sep-12 10:03:14

When you resign from a job, leave on good terms. You never know when you may need to work with those people again.

Don't get into the habit of wearing baggy trousers. You'll put on weight without realising.

The oldest one in the book (literally!) - treat others as you'd wish to be treated. Stop to think how your actions could impact another.

Take time to file paperwork as you receive it.

nancerama Fri 14-Sep-12 10:03:32

Don't eat anything bigger than your head.

Never be afraid to admit your mistakes.

What a lovely idea! - Some suggestions:

Be nice to the people you pass on the way up - you could meet them when you're on the way back down

Always keep your promises

If you don't know what it is, you don't need one! (Or similarly, Just because it's on sale, doesn't mean you have to buy it!)

Always paddle your own canoe - ask for help by all means, but always keep an oar of your own!

Never go to bed angry (stay up and fight wink )

kim147 Fri 14-Sep-12 10:05:40

It's never too early to start a pension.

CharminglyOdd Fri 14-Sep-12 10:13:30

No matter how tempting it is to 'pull an all-nighter' you will actually perform far better by cutting your losses, going to bed, having some sleep and getting up super early to finish it <voice of bitter experience>

Always get your essays read through by a friend, even if it's just for an ego-boost, but preferably to correct the spelling mistakes you don't notice on the tenth read-through.

Don't go into your overdraft. It's not your money, it's the bank's and they will want it back with interest. Once you have done it the first time it gets easier each subsequent time. Remember: they want you to owe them money because that's how they get rich. Resist all pressure to get a credit card for as long as possible.

Iron your work clothes at the very least, or pay someone to do it. People notice. Ditto for cleaning your work shoes. It will pay off in the long-run, unless you end up in academia where it doesn't matter grin

CharminglyOdd Fri 14-Sep-12 10:17:48

Oh, and vote. Unless you are landed gentry then people died so you could have a political voice. It doesn't matter if you turn up and spoil your ballot paper, so long as you turn up. There's a quite serious strand of political thought that says if people don't turn up to vote then they are happy with the status quo and politicians use this to justify all kinds of crap. Politicians will only make policy for people who vote, or who they think will vote for them.

Startailoforangeandgold Fri 14-Sep-12 10:20:23

"Don't flog a dead horse" if it really isn't working don't be ashamed to give up.

In my case a sponsored PHD that paid the mortgage, but I'm sure it applies to jobs too.

Startailoforangeandgold Fri 14-Sep-12 10:21:09

Always go for a walk on a sunny day.

snigger Fri 14-Sep-12 10:22:16

Don't wallow - if you can't change it, find a way to live with it.

Be content.

Drive carefully, the opinion of that ned in the backseat is not worth injuring yourself over.

ErikNorseman Fri 14-Sep-12 11:01:17

Never ever borrow money unless it's to fund your education or buy a house (wish I'd known that, will be drummed into DS from now on)

Don't stay in a bad relationship for fear of being alone

Always use a condom

Do 20 10 minutes of housework a day, every day

Look after your teeth

Don't start smoking!

Take photos - enjoy the memories. If you've printed them make sure to write the date and any names of people in them on the back.

snigger Fri 14-Sep-12 11:50:20

Oh, good tip. Write names on pictures. The photographic evidence of my past is littered with Jocelyn Thingies and Martin Whodyamacallits.

I like the Bill Gates quote ' be nice to geeks, one will be your boss one day'

urbanproserpine Fri 14-Sep-12 11:59:51

Don't be afraid to fail. If you haven't failed yet you are not a success.

Snorbs Fri 14-Sep-12 12:05:23

Give praise in public, give criticism in private.

Cheap tools are a poor economy.

Life ain't a dress rehearsal. This is the only one you've got. Make it count.

Lovely idea.

Don't be afraid to say sorry or admit you're wrong; be wary of other people who never apologise or admit they're wrong.

Be really nice to your mum and dad - you think you're an adult so you'll never need them again, but you will! grin

soverylucky Fri 14-Sep-12 12:05:55

If you can help someone then why wouldn't you?

"two ears, one mouth : listen twice as much as you talk"

"If you sit on the fence, all you get is splinters in your arse"

"When times are hard, remember this too shall pass"

And my absoloute favourite "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live"

JellySwinger Fri 14-Sep-12 12:15:57

Empty your pockets of change into a savings tin every night. Happy 18th LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance ds smile.

ForFoxsGlacierMints Fri 14-Sep-12 12:18:01

From my mum the day I passed my driving test:

You're better 2 minutes late in this world than 2 mins early in the next.

LondonInBoots Fri 14-Sep-12 12:36:14

Set up a savings account you have no access to and put in a DD of 50 or 70 quid a month

Get a flask for coffee, don't go to coffee shops, but always have a Starbucks card with enough for 2 coffees in case of emergency date/friend-crying-on-shoulder

Its nice to remember your 18th and 21st birthdays, plenty of other days for getting so drunk you hit all 6 surfaces of the bathroom

Most of the time she wants you to shut up and listen to what is bothering her, she's not a vase, she doesn't need fixing, If she wants your help, she'll ask for help

Print photos out and have them on your wall

Your mum is usually right about pretty much everything, but you won't realise QUITE how much until you have your own DCs and by then she will be laughing and colluding with them. Buy her chocolate often to avoid this

If someone needs help or defending, don't run away. What goes around comes around

Don't try and reason with a toddler, dog or drunk roommate, just take away what they have got hold of and put them in their room

IloveJudgeJudy Fri 14-Sep-12 12:42:27

Oh, wow, LetsFace. What a fantastic idea. DS1 was 18 a few days ago. Do you mind if I pinch your idea, please? It sounds brilliant and just the type of personal thing that I couldn't think of myself.

elportodelgato Fri 14-Sep-12 12:48:46

my dad used to say every morning: "It's time to get up and hit the day between the eyeballs!" which is a great attitude to have

maintain a good credit rating, it will follow you around forever if you don't

nurture your friendships - boyfriends and girlfriends may come and go but good friendships will see you through all your ups and downs

Finally, a much used quote which I love (not sure who from) is: "Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth"

Nancy66 Fri 14-Sep-12 12:50:19

lessons in love:

wanting/trying/yearning to be with someone who does not want to be with you is the biggest most soul destroying waste of time in the world.
Hold out for someone who will return your feelings.

shrinkingnora Fri 14-Sep-12 12:52:12

Never put your tongue where you wouldn't put your toothbrush.

newbiebaby Fri 14-Sep-12 12:57:16

Don't worry about it until its happened

And can I just say idea of book brought lump to my throat as I too lost my parents in my 20s - lovely lovely ideasmile

CMOTDibbler Fri 14-Sep-12 13:02:16

Don't be afraid to admit things are wrong. And when you've acknowledged it, do something about it.

Know yourself, and make the most of that

Anything put on the internet will be still there in 30 years. Make sure its something you will still be proud of then

Merrow Fri 14-Sep-12 13:04:14

When you're feeling miserable, do some exercise.

Now, if only I could remember that advice myself...

CailinDana Fri 14-Sep-12 13:04:38

Never ever assume that you won't see someone ever again. Chances are that that person who hears you calling them a twat while you're drunk will turn out to be the main interviewer for your dream job a few years down the line.

It takes a very big person to say "You know what, you're right, what I said/did was wrong, and I'm really sorry." Sometimes the worst conflicts can be resolved just by getting down off your high horse. And contrary to popular belief, people respect others who are willing to admit their mistakes, rather than considering them weak.

If a friend is in trouble, all you need to do is listen, really, properly listen to what they're saying. You don't need to do anything, or be anything, just say "I'm here, start talking."

TribbleTuckandDismount Fri 14-Sep-12 13:09:34

Don't be afraid to say no.

It is YOUR life and YOU will have to live with the consequences of your actions, not your mate or Vera next door but one.
Always wear a condom, a trip to the labour ward or the STD clinic is not the way you want to remember that night of 'fun'.

DontmindifIdo Fri 14-Sep-12 13:27:40

Just because something doesn't matter to you, doesn't mean it shouldn't matter to other people.

It is never worth compromising your morals for money.

don't drink coffee after 5pm unless it's decaf.

By the time you turn 35, you will show the lifestyle you live now on your skin - don't smoke, drink lots of water, eat fruit, wear sunscreen.

DontmindifIdo Fri 14-Sep-12 13:32:21

If you love your partner and think they look gorgeous, make a point of telling them when it occurs to you. Being randomly told you are beautiful and loved always cheers up the day.

travellingwilbury Fri 14-Sep-12 13:40:17

Love the way you look now , when you look back at your photos in 20 yrs time you will be surprised at how handsome you were .

I love the toothbrush one .

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Sep-12 13:43:03

Reading this quickly in my lunch hour and I'm sure I'm breaking every kind of IT rule we have but I HAD to sign in and thanks you so so much. These are fab. Will post again from home later.

Thank you all so much

DontmindifIdo Fri 14-Sep-12 14:10:42

oh and "the hair colour that best suits your skin tone is the colour you naturally have, anything else won't look as good"

GW297 Fri 14-Sep-12 15:03:18

This is such a lovely idea.

Second getting a pension as soon as you get a job and also setting up a savings account into which you pay a small, regular monthly amount. Also, maintaining a good credit rating. Learn to budget and live within your means as much as possible.

I also, like living by example and treating others as you would wish to be treated yourself. Remember everyone is someone's child/sibling/friend/partner etc. Equally, don't be afraid to be yourself and spend time with people who accept you for who you are and make you feel good about yourself.

Always be polite and respectful and try to do a little 'random act of kindness' everyday such as: holding the door open for someone or letting someone who is only buying a carton of milk go ahead of you in the supermarket queue.

Give little and often to charities close to your heart.

Enjoy your youth and make the most of every opportunity that comes your way. Being young will not last as long as you think it will and you don't want to waste a moment of it. Have fun and don't be in too much of a hurry to grow up. You will have a 'proper job' and a mortgage, bills and a weekly supermarket shop to do soon enough. Make the most of being able to spend your money on nights out, cinema trips and the like, before you need to use it to buy lamps, rugs and other boring household items.

If you are fortunate enough to be blessed with children in the future, be the best parent you can be. You want to be able to look back and know that you gave it your all. They will grow up so quickly and the relationship you have with them as adults will be affected by the way you parented them when they were children. Tell them you love them and kiss them every day. Spend time with them, play with them, listen to them and take an interest in the things that are important to them. Build their self-esteem, prioritise their happiness and always be there for them whenever they need you.

In dark winter days, you will never imagine that the summer will come, but it will. Time does heal and you won't always feel so low and troubled. The support of a loving family and true friends is instrumental here and perhaps the one good thing about bad times, it that it's a good sieve, and you are left in no doubt who your true friends are when you come out the other side.

Your health and your happiness are two of the most precious things in life and should be treated as such.

Finally, bear in mind that nobody - and i mean NOBODY - has a perfect life, however it may look on the outside.

nickelcognito Fri 14-Sep-12 15:06:59

"Although you're more likely to regret what you haven't done than what you have, think seriously about what it is you might be doing - if it feels wrong before you do it, it's damned sure going to feel wrong once you've done it"

nickelcognito Fri 14-Sep-12 15:29:05

consider what effect your actions have on other people.
it costs nothing to be nice to someone, and they might need it.

this rule also covers - if you eat a healthy and balanced diet, it's not just good for you - it's good for whoever might receive your blood! grin (ie, consider blood donation as a cheap way to help save lives)

nickelcognito Fri 14-Sep-12 15:29:26

Take a first aid course and keep the information updated.
you never know when it might come in handy

Princessdivaaa Fri 14-Sep-12 15:59:35

I'm doing something similar for my kids (4 and 2).. I write them a letter on their birthday each year to be opened on their 18th birthday..

what about some historical facts ie what was happening in the year of his birth..
Which song was at number 1 when he was born..

OTheHugeManatee Fri 14-Sep-12 16:28:17

1) The world doesn't owe you a living. The younger you are when you learn this, the better your chances are of doing well.

2) Sometimes it feels as though the whole world is picking on you, you can't catch a break, and nothing you do works. When that happens, don't give up: focus on doing at least one thing every day, however small, to make a positive change in your situation and you will get through it.

3) A little of what you fancy does you good.

It doesn't matter where you go in life, it's who's by your side that counts.

pigleychez Fri 14-Sep-12 17:29:18

Great idea!

Only had time to flick through the posts for now but some great advice.

My addition is about advice about women-

When a woman says 'What?'
Its not because she didn't hear you. She's giving you a chance to change what you said!

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Sep-12 18:29:44

I've put loads of these in - thanks so much. They are fab.

One of my own life lessons for him is not to leave everything to to the last feckin minute like his mother does!!! Still-I have till Monday.

Also Pigley - how very true!

missmapp Fri 14-Sep-12 18:36:36

Never go in to a pub with a flat roof.

Remember- don't worry what other people think of you- in reality they are spending a tiny amount of time thinking about you- they spend most of the time worrying what you think about them!!

Don't let the buggers get you down

if you always do what you've always done, you will always get what you always have- change begins with you.

Lovley idea btw

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Sep-12 18:36:47

Some of my own for anyone who wants to use the idea.

When in doubt, spit it out.

Shit happens. You can either deal with it by cleaning it off or you can rub it in. Whatever you do, don't ignore it or people will start to move away - "What's that awful smell..."

Live somewhere warm and sunny. Don't underestimate the effect of good weather on your sense of wellbeing.

2 pints of water and a couple of paracetamol before you sleep is a good hangover preventer.

Few people can mind read - learn to say what you want - and how you feel.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Sep-12 18:39:03

Ok - the pub with a flat roof - I HAVE to know why smile

missmapp Fri 14-Sep-12 18:40:38

My mothers only advice to me when I went to uni- tends to be true though as they always seem a bit dodgy!!

cheesesarnie Fri 14-Sep-12 18:49:10

I love this thread! what a lovely idea op!

GoingBlankAgain Fri 14-Sep-12 18:56:56

Neither a borrower or a lender be.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Sep-12 18:58:07

Tesco man just delivered all the food for tomorrow's party. Very excited here - though I won't be at the party of course!

Poor love has decided to go for physics revision class on the actual evening of his birthday ready for resits. Teenagers - soo irresponsible

turkeyboots Fri 14-Sep-12 19:00:11

"Actions speak louder than words" and its close relation "path to hell is paved with good intentions" is good advice for relationships.

But for work "the sqeeky wheel gets the grease" seems truer.

TheWonderfulFanny Fri 14-Sep-12 19:13:21

Make sure you treat yourself with the same respect you would accord someone else.

Self esteem is overrated, self respect not so much.

TheWonderfulFanny Fri 14-Sep-12 19:14:39

Oh, and if you're going to drink wine and spout random shit on the internet, make sure it's somewhere lovely and anonymous wink

TheWonderfulFanny Fri 14-Sep-12 19:20:07

Oh oh oh... Just remembered the one, the only, Universal Truth.

You can never have too many teaspoons.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Sep-12 19:20:07

Missmap - now I come to think, that's mostly right re flat roofed pubs smile

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Sep-12 19:26:18

You never have to put anything in your mouth that you don't want to.

And neither does your girlfriend.

travellingwilbury Fri 14-Sep-12 19:35:50

I love the flat roof pub one , I have never been in a good one .

Shameless anyone ?

catgirl1976 Fri 14-Sep-12 19:37:32

Never get involved with a married woman.

If you break that rule, make sure she is a happy one. An unhappy one will drag you into a hell of a mess.

The only exception to that rule is if you plan to marry her yourself.

catgirl1976 Fri 14-Sep-12 19:43:13

Never cheat on a woman you are not prepared to break up with.

Money spent on dentistry and travel are never wasted.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Sep-12 19:43:14

Sorry Catgirl there ARE no exceptions to that rule for me. I'll stick with your first line smile

catgirl1976 Fri 14-Sep-12 19:46:22

The first lines not a bad one. :-)

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Sep-12 19:50:11

Am with you 100% on that - and then some.

Life is too short to waste it in a job or relationship that is making you unhappy. There will always be other jobs, partners and opportunities although it may not feel like it at the time.

You are never too old to learn something new, to try different things or to change direction. If teaching/stockbroking/insurance/retail is making you miserable then think about what you want to do and plan how you can get there.

Don't be afraid to give up on something if your heart isn't in it. Although I have the odd regret about giving up on my MSc the sense of relief when I decided I'd just had enough and was totally and utterly bored rigid with it and chucked the study material in the wheely bin told me I'd done the right thing.

Always treat people as you would want to be treated yourself and avoid those who don't treat others with respect.

Be a caring and generous friend/relative/partner/employee/employer/ but know when you are being taken advantage of. Learn how to say no and mean it.

Don't do drugs and don't start smoking. Work to live and not the other way round.

When you're thinking about buying property always go for the worst house in the best street rather than the best house in the worst street (My former colleague's bank manager husband gave me that gem)

Get a dishwasher. Spend ten minutes before you go to bed every night having a quick tidy up. Getting up/coming home to an untidy house is depressing. Keep up to your laundry. Buy as many clothes that don't need ironing as possible. Invest in a Miele vacuum, don't waste your money on a Dyson.

Take the opportunity to relax, chill out, enjoy the company of family and friends whenever you can. The older you get the more these moments will become precious to you and will become memories you will treasure.

And give your Mum a great big smacker and a bear hug. She sounds absolutely lovely and I wish I'd thought of such a special gift to give to my boy. Happy Birthday x

Oh and don't buy cheap wine or cheap coffee. They both taste like shit grin

catgirl1976 Fri 14-Sep-12 20:13:20

Drugs should be behind you by the time you are 25

Learn which bridges to cross and which to burn

Do not become a father until you are prepared to put another human being ahead of youself. All the time, for the rest of you life.

Never walk past someone selling the big issues. It is not charity, it is a job.

Strain ever fibre of your being to resist hating someone you once loved

Be decent and kind to all the people who cannot do anything for you

Self pity id more destructive than herion

A lifetime is a flash of lightening in the sky

Be honest. To youself, and to others.

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay Fri 14-Sep-12 20:21:37

Don't worry if you don't know what you want to do with your life by the time you graduate. Some of the most interesting people take longer to figure it out - just don't get trapped in the job you fall into but don't enjoy.

Can obviously be amended for those not going to university.

If you are not naturally close to your siblings, work hard to try to at least keep in contact. You may not feel you need them now, but you probably will when you are old, or perhaps when your parents are.

DontmindifIdo Fri 14-Sep-12 20:28:10

Oh yes, "only sleep with a married person if you are the person they are married too"

coldcupoftea Fri 14-Sep-12 20:29:52

Believe it or not, this one was from Jade Goody's autobiography, dedicated to her sons:

'they say you haven't lived until you have found something you would die for. You two are proof that I have lived'.

I was never much of a Jade fan, but I read this in the paper and it stayed with me, still chokes me up!

Read the Red Flags thread in relationships and take note. People have lived through some atrocious crap and trauma and have posted some good advice you should take heed of. Women can be just as controlling and abusive as men. Just because you are a man and 'people' think it doesn't happen doesn't mean you should put up with it. People who care about you will believe you and help you.

Wear clean pants and socks every day and unless you're an Olympic cyclist don't shave below the waist. It just looks really, really grim. Someone described it as looking like the 'last chicken in the shop' for a reason. A bit of a trim is fine but baldy bits? Ewwww!

I can't believe I forgot - Never be too embarrassed or too proud to ask for help if you need it.

JellicleCat Fri 14-Sep-12 21:00:26

My Mum's advice to me was "positive thinking". When I am anxious about something I still mutter "positive thinking".

Mine to DD is "Everyone is good at something, no-one is good at everything"

And my exam advice is "Always read the question"

Don't know how you feel about risque ones, but I've quoted the "A gentleman always takes his weight on his elbows" one a few times blush

Love is like a fart, if you have to force it, it's probably shit

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Sep-12 21:03:50

Oh Coldcup - that's a real choker.

I've had to stop writing these for this evening as I'm having tomorrow's wine today as I have to be able to drive back to the house if I'm needed.

They are so great - I'll be back

What about Dory from Finding Nemo's beautiful 'just keep swimming, just keep swimming'

Freshletticiaandslugs Fri 14-Sep-12 21:31:58

Arf @ the last chicken in the shop that is bloody hilarious.
What a lovely thing to do OP.

Wish I could take the credit Fresh but I heard it on the telly. Very accurate tho from what I understand have seen on a Living TV show about the porn industry Yuck!

OliviaLMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 14-Sep-12 22:26:57

grin at these.....

MrTumblesCrackWhore Fri 14-Sep-12 22:32:50

Say what you like as long as you like what you say

LtEveDallas Sat 15-Sep-12 07:18:43

We like acronyms in the military, so a couple of good ones for you:

KISS: Keep it simple, Stupid.
RTFQ: Read the fuckin question.
7P's: Proper planning and preparation prevents piss poor performance

And one I love from my own mum (don't know where she got it from, sorry)
"Don't moan, thinking the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first"

Lovely idea smile

EqualsX Sat 15-Sep-12 07:43:31

A few from my dad. They are not so catchy but he says them often and following his advice has made a huge difference to the way i think about the world:

"Near enough's not good enough!"

If you want to know what kind of person someone is, check out the way they talk about or to their partner.

Never, ever spread bad gossip.

Remember that it's hardly ever the case that someone is out to deliberately wreck your day. When people say dumb things or let you down and you feel hurt or annoyed, try and imagine the kind of day they are having, and give them the benefit of the doubt.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Sat 15-Sep-12 08:49:02

Again - many thanks for these. They're brilliant.

Shoppingbags that just reminded me of a lovely girl I used to teach who was like Dory in every way. She was so happy and wise in her own way and I wonder what she's doing now.

Oh dear - stayed up till gone 2 talking and talking with DH and having far too much wine. Must be that whole 'landmark' birthday thing. I'm so glad I followed my own advice re 2 pints of water and some paracetamol before sleep. wink

I have had a pm asking if it's ok for someone to put a link to this thread on Facebook. I know nothing much about that site so please could someone in the know tell me if it's ok to do that.

For anyone seeing Alan Davies when he starts his proper tour - his take on Facebook is hilarious.

trumpton Sat 15-Sep-12 08:57:25

'Tis better to wear out than rust away . That one from my lovely dad who was still climbing trees to lop them in his 80's .

Buy cheap, buy twice .

It's the things you dont do that you will regret later not the things you did do .
( One of my mother's who was an intrepid traveller)

Never fully trust a fart grin

The bigger the person the harder they fall.

You will never be too old to be put over my knee grin

The world doesn't owe you anything.

When life gives you a Jeffrey, stroke the furry wall. (From Get Him To The Greek)

catgirl1976 Sat 15-Sep-12 09:13:20

I forgot the most important advice of all. One to live your life by this....

DON'T be "that guy".

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Sat 15-Sep-12 09:23:41

A Jeffrey? I need to know smile

Love your dad's advice especially, Trumpton

AViewfromtheFridge Sat 15-Sep-12 09:25:31

I think Baz Luhrmann said it best - can he have a whole page?

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '99...
Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.

The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice NOW!

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.

Oh, never mind.
You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded.
But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.

You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future.
Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.


Don't be reckless with other people's hearts.
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.


Don't waste your time on jealousy.
Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind.
The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive.
Forget the insults.
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters.
Throw away your old bank statements.


Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life.
The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives.
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees.
You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll divorce at 40.
Maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance.
So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body.
Use it every way you can.
Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it.
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.


Even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines.
They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents.
You never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings.
They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,
but with a precious few you should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get,
the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Accept certain inalienable truths:
Prices will rise.
Politicians will philander.
You, too, will get old.
And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund.
Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse.
But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia.
Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

let's face A Jeffery is a cig full of crap grin just means when your life seems mental or too much just slow down

MyOrangeDogShitsGoldMoney Sat 15-Sep-12 09:35:08

If a person will talk about others with you, they'll talk about you with others.

Never regret anything, at one time it was exactly what you wanted.

It's easier to build up a child than repair an adult.

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

You are always responsible for how you act regardless of how you feel.

Treat her exactly as she deserves to be treated or watch someone else do it.

Hold her hand.

( HIV doesn't just happen to other people . Thank you Enjoy, that's made me well up thanks)

GW297 Sat 15-Sep-12 10:12:54

I had a feeling you might be a teacher OP!

nickelcognito Sat 15-Sep-12 10:54:35

If you're upset/annoyed/angry about something someone has said or done tell them .
and tell them before you tell anyone else.

nickelcognito Sat 15-Sep-12 10:59:57

my favourite woodwork one (which I think can be adapted to everything in life)

"Measure twice, cut once"

(ie double-check everything before you commit to it)

Pfaffingabout Sat 15-Sep-12 12:12:04

This is brilliant! I only have one to add -

Your body is not a temple, but it is the place you will live in all your life - so look after it!

Be nice to pigeons, there's always a pigeon lover watching.

KatMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 15-Sep-12 13:06:37

Hi there, just to say we've moved this into Classics smile

Nancy66 Sat 15-Sep-12 13:17:34

Never buy red socks or underwear because one day one of them will end up in the wash with your white: shirts, sheets or towels and you'll curse the day you ever bought them.

From an IT perspective: always save your work regularly and ALWAYS back up!

Helpful at university (my friend lost her entire dissertation the week before it was due in shock) and also at work. smile

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Sat 15-Sep-12 13:58:03

AViewFromTheFridge (love the name)

Have drummed and drummed the sunscreen advice in but my kids all saw the nice long and livid scar when I'd had a skin cancer removed from my

They got the message so well that they were the same colour coming home from the south of France as they were before we left - result!

Lots of that other advice is going straight in there too. Thanks for it all.

Love the Jeffrey thing - very true.

In fact, there are so many fab ones. DH and I are going 'Yes - that one!' 'And that one!'

So we are off to a hotel room with DS 2 and 3 later this afternoon so DS1 can have the house to himself. I'm taking my netbook and the 'Little Book' to carry on writing these into.

I do wish I could follow my own advice about not leaving everything to the last minute as we're running around like blue arsed flies here. grin

Oh - that's another one - Portia from Merchant of Venice re the property of mercy.

Also, I'm quite unreasonably chuffed that this thread is going into classics - thanks to all who have posted.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Sat 15-Sep-12 13:59:32

Have to say too that I'm going to print this thread and give it to him separately - to show him the kindness of strangers smile

AViewfromtheFridge Sat 15-Sep-12 14:09:10

I think I might print off a copy of this thread! A friend and I were quoting Sunscreen at each other the other day... the ones we felt resonated most were the following:

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts.
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.


Don't waste your time on jealousy.
Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind.
The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Ironically, the actual sunscreen message almost passes me by... blush

fatbottomedmavis Sat 15-Sep-12 15:19:26

What a lovely idea OP.

My current favourite life lesson is:
"One martini is not enough, three is too many" grin

Some others:
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade
Every breath is a second chance
What would you do if you weren't afraid?
Sometimes those who challenge you most teach you the best
"Some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next" (Gilda Radner)

This is one MN will probably hate, but I find myself having to repeat it to my nan with alarming regularity-
'My body is a temple, and it's fine for it to have stained glass windows.'- with reference to my tattoos and orange hair grin
<leaves MN in a tattooey haze of shame>

Tryingtobenice Sat 15-Sep-12 16:48:52

If you arrive in Peru and some random person on the street tries toget you to drink something with a live frog blended in. Don't. However much of a laugh it seems at the time. There is probably a bigger lesson here about peer pressure never going away and always being as stupid as it was when you were 14.

openerofjars Sat 15-Sep-12 16:52:32

Never, ever open a beer bottle with your teeth. Nobody will be impressed and you will regret it for a looooooong time. Sharks replace their teeth on an ongoing basis, you've just got the ones in your head. Let the sharks show off.

If nobody laughs at your funny story, don't tell it again louder.

Piercings heal over, hair dye washes out, tattoos last forever, so be whimsical witg the first two but decided with the latter.

Clear out your clutter on a regular basis.

Listen to the music you love, not what you think you ought to be listening to.

Just, you know, don't be a tool.

catgirl1976 Sat 15-Sep-12 17:07:35

How do you blend a live frog? <boggles>

catgirl1976 Sat 15-Sep-12 17:08:28

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade

No, no, no no. You are doing it wrong.

You grab Tequilia. And salt.

fatbottomedmavis Sat 15-Sep-12 17:36:57

Really catgirl? I thought it was lime with tequila? God I used to love tequila. Note used to wink

One tequila is not enough, ten is definitely too many grin

ProfYaffle Sat 15-Sep-12 17:47:59

The two pearls of wisdom my Dad gave to me: "It never rains in a pub" and "bullshit baffles brains". Both very true (unless the pub has a flat roof, they're a bugger for leaking. Maybe that's what Misshap's Mum meant)

Don't know if any of these would be any good:

- You can't be liked by everyone all the time and if someone is willing to stab someone else in the back for you, you can guarantee they'll do the same to you somewhere along the line.

- Just because life doesn't go to your plan doesn't mean it's the end of the world. Some of the best choices I've made in life have gone against my life 'plan'.

- Listen well to those with beliefs/opinions which conflict with yours. You'll learn a hell of a lot even if you don't change your mind.

-Read, books are amazing smile

- Not everyday will be a good day. There will be times where you'll think, lets go to bed and start again tomorrow.

- Laugh at yourself - you'll feel better for it.

- Don't dwell on what you said in the past - you can't go back and change it. If you feel it was wrong - make amends.

- Popularity and coolness don't matter in the end. Going against the majority is ok.

-Take a deep breath, the world around you won't have changed but you'll feel more in control.

This is a brilliant idea!!

catgirl1976 Sat 15-Sep-12 18:24:46

Limes, lemons, oranges if your pushed

The main thing is the tequlia

although I can;t drink the stuff anymore becasue I am old and only like wine noe

justilou Sat 15-Sep-12 18:26:14

This reminds me of something I read about in Australia years ago.... A woman was dying of cancer, and wrote a book for her husband on how to be a mother and father to their daughters. Things like instructions for hairstyles, age-appropriate stocking stuffers for X-Mas, etc. Was awfully sad, but beautiful as well.

Meanwhile, my advice for your son would be that the best way to make yourself memorable to other people is to ask them questions about themselves.
Goes hand in hand with not worrying about how you appear to other people, as they are probably all focused on how they appear to everyone else anyway!

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Sat 15-Sep-12 18:44:31

Ok in the hotel now copying these out.

Women never think of nothing.

It's ok to say what you want.

Never say 'Why are you being so horrible? Have you got PMT?

When you feel overwhelmed, go for a walk.

Recognise the power of networking, good manners and kindness.

You can't make yourself bigger by making others smaller.

Smile! It's the most attractive outfit you can wear (unless you're David Beckham. He should never smile - or speak)

Spend much more time with 'zappers' than 'sappers'.

And VERY important for males everywhere:

If you sprinkle when you tinkle - be a sweetie and wipe the seatie! smile

mogandme Sat 15-Sep-12 19:53:07

A trip to Holland I know it's about having a child with SEN but can be used about anything - not getting into uni, medical issues, break ups etc.

catgirl1976 Sat 15-Sep-12 20:09:07

Oh god that made me cry


cheesesarnie Sat 15-Sep-12 20:15:46

mog- that's lovely!

SandStorm Sat 15-Sep-12 20:33:49

If you speak confidently, you can get people to believe anything.

Be nice to the people you meet on the way up - you may meet them again on the way down.

Learn the cleaner/tea lady's name - they're just as important (if not more so) than the CEO.

Oh and boys look lovely in tights, skirts, dresses and with long hair. You don't need to censor yourself....

Sidge Sat 15-Sep-12 20:50:26

Probably a bit late for your book now but mine is a quote from Maya Angelou:

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel".

MyOrangeDogShitsGoldMoney Sat 15-Sep-12 21:36:16

mog that's beautiful.

GeekLove Sat 15-Sep-12 22:39:57

The letter writing idea- I think I will use that idea starting with ds1 4th birthday.

As for my notes:

True friends are those who will tell you what you need to know rather than what you want to hear.

True friends are happy with your successes as well as commiserating your defeats.

Love many, trust few always paddle your own canoe.

Do not think that as a man you are immune to domestic violence or emotional abuse.

Spend your time with life's radiators not drains

Treat your intended as you would like to be treated yourself or else someone else will.

OlympickingMyNose Sun 16-Sep-12 08:05:09

I love this thread!

If you ring up a family member (example mum) and dad answers, don't asked to be passed over straightaway, have a conversation with him too, he's just as important/loved.

Don't get annoyed with tailgators, pull over and wave them round you, you will both be happier.

Never use snow spray at Christmas on your Windows, you will still see where it has been for YEARS to come, no matter how much windowlene you've used.

Don't trust the use by date, if it tastes looks off, it probably is, don't eat or drink it.

Say yes more, unless there's a valid genuine reason for saying no.

Don't do things by halfs, otherwise you'll have to do them twice.

Having you're cake and eating it is messy. Be prepared to clean up all the crumbs if you do.

BikeRunSki Sun 16-Sep-12 08:13:43

Time is the currency of love

Theses "Rules for Living" from the Dalai Lama are on the wall at DS's martial arts club and I rather like them as 18th birthday wisdom. Dalai Lama rules

100% of the goals you don't take don't go in ie: take every oppurtunity.

Everyone has the right to wear suscreen

zumbahater Sun 16-Sep-12 08:23:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Sun 16-Sep-12 10:00:42

Sidge - no it's not too late. The party was last night but his birthday is on Monday so I'm still writing in the book. I'm also leaving pages for him to add his own as he learns stuff for himself. I'd love to think he'll pass it on to his own kids.

I wonder what the house looks like this morning smile

Thingiebob Sun 16-Sep-12 10:07:43

Be nice to the people you pass on the way up - you could meet them when you're on the way back down

Time heals.

Thingiebob Sun 16-Sep-12 10:10:31

If you have your family and health, then things are ok.

No job, relationship, situation is worth making yourself ill over. Stress is a killer.

Sorry, just realised I may have duplicated some.

Geeklette Sun 16-Sep-12 10:48:51

I love this thread! So pleased it's been moved to classics.

I grew up with the following advice, that still rings true today:

No-one can make you feel inferior without your permission (Eleanor Roosevelt?)

A woman's place is anywhere she wants to be.

Have the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference (adapted from the Prayer of Serenity)

And as a person working in tech support, I would add:

Have you tried switching it off and on again?

RTFM (Read the frickin manual) - this one also goes for any kind of instructions!

TALK to people! Communication will fix 99.99% of problems - usually before they even arise.

"I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything" only works for Bart Simpson!

BikeRunSki Sun 16-Sep-12 11:02:46

Don't make promises you can't keep.

At work don't send an email to someone in the same building. Gio and speak to them. Same with phone calls. If you are good at your job your reputation will go before you, and it never hurts for people to be able to put your face to your name.
When you are going to a job interview, know where you are going, how to get there, where to park. If they offer you a glass of water, accept it, then take a sip when you need thinking time.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Sun 16-Sep-12 22:35:18

The house was fine. The kids had a great time and I've wrapped up the book all ready for tomorrow.

Thanks so much to everyone for helping out
thanks thanks thanks

Happy Birthday your ds!! I hope you have a good day and he loved the book.

OlympickingMyNose Mon 17-Sep-12 09:26:29

Happy birthday to your ds, op. He is very lucky to have a dm as lovely and thoughtful as you smile

BrainSurgeon Mon 17-Sep-12 10:48:51

Happy birthday to your DS OP - he's a lucky boy smile

And thank you so much for this thread, it's lovely and has inspired me to do something similar for my DS


nankypeevy Tue 18-Sep-12 20:57:45

this is a luuuverly idea.

Thanks for the thread, hope that DS treasures it. And, reads it, obviously!

Whirliwig72 Wed 19-Sep-12 21:05:21

Sleep lots now before you have children.

Lay out your clothes and organise stuff you need for the next day the night before.

If you get good service take the person's name and let their manager know how brilliant they were afterwards.

Take lots of part time classes in subjects you love.

Sing solo in public at least once in your life.

Do a daily little act of kindness to help those around you: leave 50p in a phone box, pay someone's bus fare for them, help a mum by entertaining her toddler while she packs her shopping, leave little notes in public to cheer up the recipient grin

perfectstorm Thu 20-Sep-12 15:04:15

Leave well. You never know when someone from your last job will be at your next. It's a surprisingly small world.

When things are really, really dreadful, know that one day you will look back and just be amazed that you got through them... and so grateful that life is better now. It just never feels possible at the time.

Never, ever throw good love after bad. It isn't wasting the past to walk away. It's wasting the future if you don't.

Always prioritise your (underage) kids over your lover. It's your job, and their right. If you don't, they will never forgive you when they grow up - and they'll be justified.

The job of being a parent is not to create an easy child. It's to have a decent, solvent, responsible and reasonably contented adult at the other end. Until you're all there, nobody knows who is getting it right, and anyway genes and luck account for an unknown proportion... so never listen to anyone who insists they are perfection in parenting form.

perfectstorm Thu 20-Sep-12 15:05:03

If you get good service take the person's name and let their manager know how brilliant they were afterwards.

Oh, I love this one! I agree. Used to mean a lot to me when I had that feedback, and now I am scrupulous over doing it myself.

zebrafinch Thu 20-Sep-12 18:44:21

Worry is interest paid before its due

BeaWheesht Thu 20-Sep-12 19:12:56

Mine would be don't trust people who don't have old friends but have lots of new ones, theres probably a reason for that.

Be nice

Laugh at yourself when you need to but have the confidence to stand your ground when needed

When you get your own place keep on top of housework from day one, once it's built up its so so mug harder to fix

Don't ever drop good friends for a partner, if your partner expects you to then they do not have your best interests at heart

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Thu 20-Sep-12 22:27:41

It isn't wasting the past to walk away, it's wasting the future if you don't

That is great!

I know it's too late for the book, but thought I would add these:

Never put down, always put away

Always have a life plan. Life will kick you about and your plan will change and that's ok, but in the calm between the storms it helps to know where you're headed.

SundaeGirl Fri 21-Sep-12 15:52:25

One glass of water to every glass of wine. Stop drinking straight after pudding and accept the coffee.

cabbagewhite Fri 21-Sep-12 21:30:14
MiniMonty Sat 22-Sep-12 01:10:58

I like this idea and I've stolen (borrowed) it - thanks.
In return here are a few:
1) if you wait until you're ready you'll never do a thing.
2) you catch a lot more flies with honey than with vinegar.
3) a man chases a woman until she catches him.
4) the first rule of the game is: stay in the game...
5) learn to control your language - with that you can control everything else.

AmberLeaf Sat 22-Sep-12 03:13:12

Love is like a fart, if you have to force it, its probably shit.

zipzap Tue 25-Sep-12 21:13:20

My dad's favourite piece of advice was live every day as if it were your last because one day it will be. Twas one of the last things he said to me before he died (completely unexpectedly).

His other bit of advice was if you have kids then the first 51 years are the worst grin

GirlWithALlamaTattoo Mon 15-Oct-12 21:03:11

I know I'm way too late here, but I think my Dad's advice is worth sharing.

Never settle for second best, and never give up on your dreams.

gumbo611 Mon 15-Oct-12 22:08:51

Over a month late but had to add "Your mother is always right" I wish I had listened to mine when I was younger, she always ended up being right! Hope the 18th was good.x

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Sun 18-Nov-12 22:20:53

I just wandered back in here after someone on chat asked to be pointed towards it. Some of those 'latecomers' are definitely going in.

He loved the book and he's started adding to it - which is just what I hoped for.

He put in 'We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing'.

Nice smile

RealAleandOpenFires Tue 08-Jan-13 04:09:17

Good advice on this thread.

Just one or two more to add (that's if the OP doesn't mind?)

Never, ever get involved in office politics.

Always ask if anyone wants a cuppa, if you're going to make yourself one.

Don't always be the first one to volunteer.

Polish your shoes front & back (including heels).

When you have enough money, invest in a couple of tailor-made suits.

Get a proper decent hat. (beanie hats don't count)

Office xmas parties...don't get pissed!

Make friends with the IT people (if possible) as you'll never know, when you will need their help.

Never slag off your employer to anyone, as that person might know your boss.

Learn to be discrete/tactful in the office.

Condoms are there for a reason...use them!

CheerfulYank Tue 08-Jan-13 04:49:09

Before I headed off to college my dad said, very seriously, "Well...don't do anything stupid." It pretty much covers it all!

Also "give a person guts, and shit will do for brains."

My grandpa used to say "Well, life brings lots of hurt. And you can get through it or die. If you get through it you'll be all right. And if you die you'll go to Heaven and be all right. Or...well, if you don't make it to Heaven, at least you'll have a lot of company." And then he'd laugh and laugh. smile Oh, I miss him.

cuntingrimmer08 Sun 13-Jan-13 11:47:11

Jagerbombs - avoid unless you want embarrassing photos on FB

LeeCoakley Sat 19-Jan-13 16:00:38

I'm just bumping this incase anyone has any more sayings to add. Dd2 is 18 in a few weeks time and I am unashamedly stealing this idea. I have a lovely book that I think will be suitable. Thanks op!

Booyhoo Sat 19-Jan-13 16:18:44

ooh good thread..

things i will tell my dcs when they are a bit older:

some things are worth the bollocking you'll get for doing them

some bollockings aren't deserved and you'll both know it, but bite your tongue and bide your time. your words will have more effect when you use them calmly with a calm audience.

never apologise unless you are actually sorry. always apologise when you are. dont assume it's been assumed.

there is no perfect anything.

Booyhoo Sat 19-Jan-13 16:23:54

another one is

you're always making choices. even when you feel you have no choice, whatever you are doing is a choice you have made. take responsibility for them. good or bad.

Empross76 Sat 19-Jan-13 16:37:03

Work to live, don't live to work.

LeeCoakley Sun 20-Jan-13 11:55:38

Thanks, I'm starting this afternoon and am very excited!

Trills Sun 20-Jan-13 16:44:18

Before you move in with or get serious with a partner, find out whether their attitude to money matches up with yours.

(inspired by a couple of threads going right now)

If you're ever in trouble, admit what you've done and say you're sorry.

If you've done everything to try and achieve it, and you still can't have what you want, ask yourself why you want it.

If you have to choose, flip a coin and shout the answer out loud before it lands. Then you'll know what you really want.

ESussex Sat 26-Jan-13 02:58:46

Another late mum has always told me 'its not what you know, it's who you know', the older I've got the truer this has become.

'Be good, be kind, be happy' has also stuck with me.

MildDrPepperAddiction Sat 26-Jan-13 07:49:19

Make sure you have a firm handshake. Nothing worse than a limp handed handshake.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Sat 26-Jan-13 21:35:35

Fab that this thread is still going!
I'm glad some other posters have made a book too. smile

Divinyl Mon 28-Jan-13 23:30:05

You don't know everything...but nor do you know nothing.

Got me through an exam or 2, that has.

Divinyl Mon 28-Jan-13 23:37:29

...A word to husbands, thanks to Ogden Nash:
"To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up."

NewFairy Tue 13-Aug-13 18:21:42

I thnk this is worth reviving, thanks to he poster who provided the link

TheSecondComing Wed 14-Aug-13 21:36:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JGBMum Thu 15-Aug-13 06:07:17

Bumping this for all us anxious parents clock watching till 8am and UCAS track opens

BikeRunSki Thu 15-Aug-13 06:43:18

If you are not 5 mins early, you are late.
Don' t scrimp on eye tests or dental check ups.
Stop and smell the roses.
Dance in the rain.
Sometimes, it only has to be good enough, not perfect.
Never burn your bridges at work.

For girls - money spent on a well fitted bra is money well spent.

Time is the currency of love. I can' t remember where I first heard that, but itvis so true. Spend time with the people you love.

BikeRunSki Thu 15-Aug-13 06:47:15

Do as you would be done by; be done by as you did.

Praise goes a very long way. Commend more than you criticise.

Stinkyminkymoo Wed 21-Aug-13 08:57:54

This one I live by: assumption is the mother of all fuck ups


My favourites, from my Dad:

If someone is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/barman/doorman etc then they are an arse who is not worth one single second of your time.

If you can't be good be careful.

Don't drink anything blue.

KarmaBiatch Wed 28-Aug-13 15:09:55

Do not sweep your mistakes under the rug.

Do not live your life by regrets, own them and move on.

Tomorrow is always another day.

Yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future, today is a gift and that's why it's called the present.

Cloudkitten Wed 28-Aug-13 15:26:07

If stopped by police for any reason, there is only one thing to do - grovel.

Tombstoning (jumping from cliffs into water) is for people who want a broken neck.

When you feel sick, stop drinking.

The world is a small place, try not to fall out with anyone unless you have to.

Smiling goes a long way.

Don't give in to your temper. Best results always come from keeping your cool.

There's always a right path to take.

People who flatter you are often up to no good.

NightScentedStock Tue 17-Sep-13 13:35:45

Comparison is the thief of joy

Procrastination is the thief of time; don't put something off till tomorrow if you can do it today (if it's something you're dreading then "Future You" will thank you)

Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take but the number of times your breath is taken away.

You can't please everyone all of the time.

DrunkenFlamingo Tue 17-Sep-13 18:08:28

one from my mum - spend your money on good shoes and a good mattress, if you're not in one you're in the other.

BoozyBear Tue 17-Sep-13 18:27:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Moghedia Thu 10-Oct-13 13:57:29

Don'tmindifIdo: I assume that I am in interview when I get to the street I need to be on, but I am especially paranoid that way smile

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