there has been two people sat in a car outside my house for 83hrs

(964 Posts)

Possibly longer <unobservant>

Its really starting to bother myself and dp.

Should I do something?

Sposh Wed 14-Mar-12 16:45:19

Men in black?

Lulumama Wed 14-Mar-12 16:45:21

are they dead ?

ChippyMinton Wed 14-Mar-12 16:45:28

83 hours? Really?

RitaMorgan Wed 14-Mar-12 16:45:36

Go an ask them what they're doing?

MIssMarplesSideKick Wed 14-Mar-12 16:46:17

Have you got many neighbours?

StrandedBear Wed 14-Mar-12 16:46:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iCANdothisiCAN Wed 14-Mar-12 16:46:45

Marking my place, off out but need more info!

habbibu Wed 14-Mar-12 16:46:45

We had post office spies outside our house once. It was fairly obvious how they failed to make the MI6 cut.

nameuschangeus Wed 14-Mar-12 16:46:55

Do you mean 83 hours? Where are they going for a wee?

PleaseChooseAnotherNN Wed 14-Mar-12 16:47:07

Have you broken any laws recently, they could be staking you out... or one of your neighbours...

AnyFucker Wed 14-Mar-12 16:47:10


ScruffyTerrier Wed 14-Mar-12 16:47:22

Go and bang on the window. Perhaps they are private detectives or maybe they are doing a traffic survey. Why don't you take them out a tray of refreshments?

AFuckingKnackeredWoman Wed 14-Mar-12 16:47:37

83 hours go offer them a sandwich

justalittleinsane Wed 14-Mar-12 16:47:59

SSeriously - that's odd - call the police - I wouldn't ask them yourselves - even if they are no threat to you someone else could be terrified.

According to dp yes! He noticed them first thing monday morning.

The windows are all shut and covered in condensation, every now and again the lady oposite goes out and speaks to them.

They aren't dead, there's been lots of fornicating visisble from my nosing about.

Change your WiFi name to WeAreWatchingYouWatchingUsYouAreRubbishAtThis.

Then see what happens.

Visible fornicating!!!

fuckityfuckfuckfuck Wed 14-Mar-12 16:49:19

It's the grammar police keeping tabs

Honeydragon Wed 14-Mar-12 16:49:28

Surely you know the only possible outcome of starting a thread like this will be the persistent whining pressure of 52'000 Mnetters instructing you to get the hell out there with tea and cake to find out what's happening and then report back IMMEDIATELY.

Now go.

ifeelloved Wed 14-Mar-12 16:49:33

Why don't you ask your neighbour?!

Sandwiches, AFKW?

Take them some empty Oasis bottles to wee in.

habbibu Wed 14-Mar-12 16:49:46

Really! Fornicating? Has nobody left to even piss?

It'll be someone who's refused to have their child & gf/bf sleep together under their roof. There'll be a thread soon.

DressDownFriday Wed 14-Mar-12 16:49:56

Police or dss doing surveillance?

You could ring police on 101 with the reg plate number and they will check it out.

Lulumama Wed 14-Mar-12 16:50:08

they've been shagging in a car outside your house and it's taken you 83 hours to wonder if you ought to do something??

Hang on, so there are people shagging in a car outside your house and they've been at it for 83 hours? Kudos.

Live at the top of a cul-de-sac very little traffic (high unemployment rate, bit rought tbh)

The lady who speaks to them isn't english.

I'm new here and pretty boring I have no reason to be worried. But good point about intimidating someone else.

The cars not a new one, its been parked there since we moved but never had people in it, except to drive it ofc.

redrubyshoes Wed 14-Mar-12 16:51:52

Do you live an area known for dogging? Maybe they are waiting for others to join them. wink

IAmBooyhoo Wed 14-Mar-12 16:51:55

haha an 83 hour dogathon!!

Sidge Wed 14-Mar-12 16:52:02

83 hours of shagging in a car?

Blimey, they must be so exhausted they can't get out.

Either that or they're glued to the seats with dried secretions.

Is it Sting and Trudie being all tantric?

violetwellies Wed 14-Mar-12 16:52:51

That might be normal for the Op's street ;)

habbibu Wed 14-Mar-12 16:52:53

Must be a Record Breakers attempt. The woman coming out to check is the new Norris McWhirter.

usualsuspect Wed 14-Mar-12 16:53:25

Go and ask them . I would

Ewwwww at 'dried secretions' grin

Ryoko Wed 14-Mar-12 16:53:37

Times are really harsh when even the brothel owners end up losing their business premises.

It must stink in that car.

Maybe they're living in it - I doubt you've watched them 24/7 over the last 83 hours so they might have been and come back from other places during that time. Maybe they're relatives (adult children?) of the neighbour and they've had a bit of a row? Who knows...

I don't think they're actually shagging <naïve> they were kissing quite um vigourously when I walked home from getting ds.

One neighbour has a police caution for threatening behaviour towards me so I can't knock for gossip, the other works nights so I rarely see them!

I know one person locally, I'm going to have to go and ask him aren't I?

Dp made me start this thread because he's to scared to go and knock on the window.

Obviously if there is shagging involved only one of them is related to the neighbour, otherwise that would be creepy and even more illegal.

loopylou6 Wed 14-Mar-12 16:56:22

Phone police

LeeCoakley Wed 14-Mar-12 16:56:48

So the car has been there longer than 83 hours but the permanent residence is a new thing?

I think they live in the car but have been away for a long time. The neighbour is probably the MiL who won't let them in the house but rents out the car. I think you need to ask her and then report back to us.

Your dp is a wuss.

You go & knock on the window!

JaneB1rkin Wed 14-Mar-12 16:57:01



JaneB1rkin Wed 14-Mar-12 16:58:18

Sorry x posts, that was to a couple of comments further down, not trying to be totally crass blush

MIssMarplesSideKick Wed 14-Mar-12 16:58:24

It sounds like a prossie is using the car to me.

Magneto Wed 14-Mar-12 16:59:01

Are they stuck?

The passenger door of dh's car gets stuck sometimes wink

BluddyMoFo Wed 14-Mar-12 17:00:21

Why is it bothering you? Do you need the parking space? confused

I just shoved my wuss of a dp outside to get the reg and the windows are open in the back, he ran back in frigging nancy.

Same two people in there all along.

ScruffyTerrier Wed 14-Mar-12 17:02:24

Maybe Hugh Grant is at it again?

SemperUbiSubUbi Wed 14-Mar-12 17:02:33

They clearly live in their car but have been away on holiday. <<nods>>

I would either go and ask them what they are doing or ring the non emergency police number they may be able to ... erm... actually I sont know what they will be able to do. Fuck all probably. <<shrugs>>

Al0uise Wed 14-Mar-12 17:03:55

Leave the wussy bastard.

MIssMarplesSideKick Wed 14-Mar-12 17:05:24

Does the woman look like [ [ this]]

MIssMarplesSideKick Wed 14-Mar-12 17:05:59

I'm considering sending over my nosy and outspoken 3 and 4yo? Since the so called man of the house is too chicken --and so am i-- he didn't even get the reg!

No, she um, isn't the most attractive of the female race, it took a flash of norkage for us to realise it wasn't two male friends.

Stratters Wed 14-Mar-12 17:10:03

How bizarre.

You are a paragon of restraint. No way could I have sat and done nothing for 83 hours.

cq Wed 14-Mar-12 17:10:17

Surely you know that vigorous snogging is the ideal way of diverting suspicion when you're on a stake-out and a nosy neighbour walks by?

Doesn't anybody else watch tv?

Clearly there are some serious criminals in your street.

Honeydragon Wed 14-Mar-12 17:13:48

They are making out? Shagging? who is the neighbour talking to them? Can you take photos? Why do I care ?

honey I am NOT taking photos --ill admit I am not tempted to--

I'm popping out at 6pm, ill act like a women with a car far too big for me and reverse an excessive amount to get a closer snoop.

cq totally believable, seriously, s'good job my house is nice and the schools good, this place is like shameless. Full of wrong uns.

jenfraggle Wed 14-Mar-12 17:26:06

Call the police on the 101 number, you won't need a reg, just tell them which road it is on and they will take it from there.

TotemPole Wed 14-Mar-12 17:34:30

Just to be a pedant. Monday morning until now, is less than 72 hours. So they can't have been there for 83 hours, unless they were there before Monday morning. But if they were spotted before Monday morning you would have said.

Probably homeless sad

Pagwatch Wed 14-Mar-12 17:39:09

It's sports relief soon so I think the Dog-a-thon sounds plausible.

Go and ask them if you can sponsor them.

FruitShootsAndHeaves Wed 14-Mar-12 17:44:46

Put a mac on, sling a camera round your neck, grab a map and walk up to the car. Knock on the window and say
"scuse me, could you tell me which way to get to Windsor Castle?"

whilst having a good nose about at them and the dried excretions car.

Sunglasses may be needed too

pagwatch what's a suitable amount? 20p per shag?

totem we'd seen them in it previously on the weekend it became apparent monday they hadn't left and haven't since.

<Boak> at dried anything, the car must reek, the amount of condesation building up is ridiculous!

justalittleinsane Wed 14-Mar-12 17:53:51

Police there may be someone who lives in your street who is genuinely freaked by this

OnlyWantsOne Wed 14-Mar-12 17:54:52

Phone the police 101

BoiledEggandToastSoldiers Wed 14-Mar-12 17:57:38

<<Marks place>>

TotemPole Wed 14-Mar-12 17:59:03

Ah I see.

Newtothisstuff Wed 14-Mar-12 18:02:09

Where do you live ?? If it's near me I'll go and ask haha grin

Pagwatch Wed 14-Mar-12 18:02:49

20p sounds a bit miserly unless they are at it hourly.

Be careful how you phrase the offer. huge potential for misunderstanding.

AwkwardMary Wed 14-Mar-12 18:03:58

have been sitting outside my house

Not has and sat

Sorry. They are obviously illegal immigrants or new to the country who are asking for help from your neighbour (a relative of theirs) and she has refused.

ENormaSnob Wed 14-Mar-12 18:10:22

Extreme dogging?

technoduck Wed 14-Mar-12 18:13:32

Oh how exciting! will be watching this one, What are you going to do?

TwinkleTwinklyStars Wed 14-Mar-12 18:15:43

if they havent left the car since monday where are they getting food/drink from?

and where the hell are they going to the toilet?!?

south345 Wed 14-Mar-12 18:19:44

Ring the police!
And let us know what happens of course!

NarkedPuffin Wed 14-Mar-12 18:20:49

I hope that there are two unrelated answers to your questions Twinkly

CointreauVersial Wed 14-Mar-12 18:27:10

That's just weird.

Perhaps they're watching yooooo......

Cheddars Wed 14-Mar-12 18:27:28

You have to find out why they're there. Go on, go on, go on!

chocolateandcoffee Wed 14-Mar-12 18:33:13

perhaps it's just teenagers listening to music and looking cool in some old banger they bought for £20 and you neighbour is one of their mums going out to nag them.

that used to happen a lot where i used to live. It was a bit rough there too tbh

curiousgeorgie Wed 14-Mar-12 18:34:04

I've just caused DD to have a screaming fit at me whilst I held the laptop higher and higher out of her reach while I read this...

Now I must know why they are outside. I second the offer that if you live near me, I'll ask them.

Wherabouts are you? ;)

chocolateandcoffee Wed 14-Mar-12 18:34:58

Forgot to say check at 3am, bet there is no one in the car then

Change your wi-fi name to something like "Police mobile surveillance unit 83, location (name of your road)"

If they have smartphones (quite likely if teenagers) it'll come up on their phone and might trigger some movement!

Hi, sorry had to pop out.

Well I did my reversing and they hid hmm
I'm putting my not so lovely 3yo to bed and ill call 101 if she ever goes to sleep.

Dp was out at the car after 11pm last night and they were still there, ill try and stay up stupidly late and go look.

Honey I don't know what posessed me but I've taken a photo, albeit blurry. Ill post shortly.

The DSS use an empty car with cameras all over it, so unlikely to be the fraud squad. Plus there is no way DWP would authorise that much overtime.

MidnightWorry Wed 14-Mar-12 19:02:41

dont post it up, you wouldnt want it done to you.

Id just go over and knock on the window

Can't see a reg or anything, I wouldn't do that, and since 90% of the houses here are identical it gives nothing away.

I really want to go and knock on the window but I'm new here and its um, a hard community to blend into, were the odd ones out already.

Just knock you big wuss! grin

ggirl Wed 14-Mar-12 19:31:47

Could ther be homeless and living in the car?

Well I've just been out putting some things in the garage, two lads wandered back from the green behind the houses and got back in the car, older child sulking seems the most likely story.

FriskyBivalves Wed 14-Mar-12 20:30:16

But where does the vigorous fornicating fit in then??

Cheddars Wed 14-Mar-12 20:45:11

They've sat there for 3 days waiting for a sulky teen? confused

AwkwardMary Wed 14-Mar-12 21:12:45

Who is a sulking child? Them? Or someone else? confused

lazymonkeyface Wed 14-Mar-12 21:14:56

marking place

swooosh Wed 14-Mar-12 21:19:23

this is bizarre...

Coconutty Wed 14-Mar-12 21:19:34

I second that they are dogging and if you live near me I will happily knock on their window and ask what they are doing.

How odd though. The inside of that car must be unspeakably unpleasant by now.

BlueAndRedMakePurple Wed 14-Mar-12 21:49:41

I'd guess they've been made homeless and have nowhere else to go sad

fuzzpig Wed 14-Mar-12 21:56:44

I admit to a little unattractive snort giggle at "dogathon"

cremeeggsrock Wed 14-Mar-12 22:15:27

Just ring the police and they will do the digging!" just do some curtain twitching! Sounds to me like they have no where else to go..........job done!

mumblejumble Wed 14-Mar-12 22:15:45

Ok, I am de-lurking, have come back for an update, dc will not settle tonight and this is all I have.....I need to know what they are doing out there. They must be extreeeeemely bored by now.

Rang 101 they've had a few other reports, one of them lives in the house the lady keeps coming out of, some kind of disagreement. Nothing police can do as its there designated parking place etc.

How boring.

I did get a good chuckle when the lady came outside and screamed at them a while.

Saw me looking and kindly translated that, "the cheeky cunt facebooked her to bring him out a spliff. Tenna and takeaway menu"

How long dya recon a teenage/early 20's male can sulk in a smelly BMW?

And do you recon if I take him over a menu he'll stay there longer for my entertainment.

Horsemad Wed 14-Mar-12 22:21:22

We've had similar recently, they'd turn up most nights over a period of about 6 months, sit there for a few hours, leave the butts of their cigarettes (poss drugs?) outside the car then leave. I eventually got fed up of them parking in the cul-de-sac, collected up all the butts and next time they arrived, I knocked on the door and when he opened it I handed him the bag with them all in and told him to clear off!

They did come back intermittently and then I rang the police who came along and I haven't seen the car/teens since. Result!

MIssMarplesSideKick Wed 14-Mar-12 22:26:24

he uses tenna lady pads shock

OldLadyKnowsNothing Wed 14-Mar-12 22:29:06

Genuine lol @ wanting the takeaway menu and £10! And the spliff? shock

MIssMarplesSideKick Wed 14-Mar-12 22:32:37

I would have had a disagreement at having to live with a teen who behaved like that!

piratecat Wed 14-Mar-12 22:36:21

arf @ sulky teens in a car with spliffs, facebook, menu's and a tenner.

party on!

They're still out there, lots of sulky pointed looks at what I assume is his mums house.

Wrt to atleast having a wee they've been seen going to and from the green.

I'm in awe of the staying power most I ever managed was 5mins of loud music in my room before running to my mum teary and snotty saying sorry.

PercyFilth Wed 14-Mar-12 22:48:24

I just went to the "Stationery Lovers" thread by mistake. confused

CointreauVersial Wed 14-Mar-12 23:11:50

I suppose it beats a draughty bus shelter.

percy stationary car, stationery lovers... Loose connection.

I shoved dp out again to snoop, and "get my book from the car" its covered in condensation again and was, rocking slightly.

We've decided the mum must not like the new girlfriend.

garlicbutter Thu 15-Mar-12 02:21:57

I agree with the angry mum, he is a cheeky cunt!

How very entertaining. Can't wait to see how long they hold out! They might stay in the car while Undesirable Girlfriend conceives, carries and gives birth.

nameuschangeus Thu 15-Mar-12 06:45:39

I knew a bloke who sold the Big Issue who lived in a Bentley. Maybe it's like that? He wee'd in Sainsburys though. Not sure if he entertained <ahem> ladies.

Honeydragon Thu 15-Mar-12 07:33:23

Oh this is brilliant, why not foster a real community spirit you and the neighbours can come up with inventive ways to torture get them to move.

Fosters. Immunity spirit and everything grin

Honeydragon Thu 15-Mar-12 07:33:46

Feckin autocorrect

ifeelloved Thu 15-Mar-12 07:40:08

Surely the policeman acting if they are behaving in a lewd manner in public grin

ifeelloved Thu 15-Mar-12 07:40:27

Police can act - grrrrrrrr

Day 4- still there, sat cross legged, back against front seats asleep.

Dp adamant its a different girl today.

How sad is my life no more, "have a nice day, love to you and the kids texts" oh no, "diff girl in the car today, check it out and txt bk"

I've even mumsnetting on the school run!

Shall we have a bet how long it goes on?

garlicbutter Thu 15-Mar-12 13:21:36

Nine months.
Then Angry Mum will let them put a caravan in the garden, because of baby.

CinnabarRed Thu 15-Mar-12 13:40:39

Would have though the police can act if they're fouling the green area by using it for wee/poo [boak].

Well I decided today was the best day to sort some boxes in the garage --spend 3hrs observing whilst casually flicking through the odd box--

Mum came out of the car, hammered on window, two teenage lads emerge and stand on the kerb for 15-20mins whilst mum uses the car, she gets back they get straight back in.

A friend visited tonight and parked beside them, she said as soon as walking in the door, "it stinks over there, that car has food all over the parcel shelf"

Its all very strange.

Local police number rang back saying they'd contacted flagship, who kind of 'run' our estate and they're dealing with it. As I'd played the, "I'm concerned for there welbeing"

methsdrinker Thu 15-Mar-12 22:37:18

ooooh thanks for the update have been lurking and I am watching with interest

Cheddars Thu 15-Mar-12 23:11:34

It is very strange behaviour.

Meths I hope you're not 'lurking' in a car on op's street. grin

babyicebean Thu 15-Mar-12 23:18:50

Can the boys give in now or will they think mum has 'won'

scarletforya Thu 15-Mar-12 23:23:22

Their Mum has won, the chumps have spent God knows how many days sitting in a smelly damp car to 'punish' her for some disagreement or other!

ha ha ha dumbasses!

LynnCSchreiber Thu 15-Mar-12 23:30:22

Not sure that the mum has won, Scarlet. That car must be totally minging now. Will she want it back?

Bohica Thu 15-Mar-12 23:34:47

How very odd, you have teenagers who have left home to live in their mums car outside your house?

I would drop a few open dog poop bags around the car next time you pass, stink them out smile

They're still there!

Nothing new to report, but if that was my car I'd want a biohazard suit before I got back into it!

EddieVeddersfoxymop Fri 16-Mar-12 17:17:52

We had something similar once, albeit with less fornication and for a shorter time. I called the police non emergency number as there had been a man sat watching our houses for 24 hours, on and off a laptop, was very dodgy.

The police took it very seriously....cue two cars screeching into the estate, blocking in said suspicious vehicle. Turns out he was a reporter for The Sun and he was watching our neighbour who'd run up 20k of parking tickets and was being made bankrupt!

lazarusb Fri 16-Mar-12 17:20:33

Do you think this is the format for the next series of Big Brother being tried out? grin

eddie police around here seem bored, several people have reported it now.

They aren't actually doing anything really, just treating the car as a house, there's no watching of anyone it seems.

But guess what.

Still there! They are now sat in the front, possibly the back seat is too moist now.

garlicbutter Fri 16-Mar-12 22:08:54

Eeuww! I know you're probably right, but wish you hadn't painted the mental picture ...

garlicbutter Fri 16-Mar-12 22:10:31

And we thought Sun reporters lived glamorous lives, hacking slebs' phones and chasing royalty round Paris, eddie.

Sorry garlic I'd give it a matter of hours before the windows sprout mould! The condensation is unreal!

PercyFilth Fri 16-Mar-12 22:54:26

So is it girl and boy, or two lads - I'm confused now.

garlicbutter Fri 16-Mar-12 23:02:54

Confusion, PLEASE go and check for mould, cress, possibly even a couple of saplings tomorrow! Let's hope it's sunny, give Mum's surprise car garden a healthy start wink

Percy, it was boy and girl for a few days, occasionally another lad joins them, girl vanishes breifly, one lad always remains.

Garlic, I will, if they leave the window open enough when they nip off to the green again ill throw some seeds in wink its my duty as a mumsnetter to spend the "sorting my garage" isn't it so I can give you more info.

swooosh Sat 17-Mar-12 00:20:43

This thread is great grin

Just nipped out to aldis, on my return the doors of the car wide open, the back footwells are stuffed full of duvets and pillows.

There's now a women who looks around 30 in it with original lad.


garlicbutter Sat 17-Mar-12 14:10:22

Social worker? Aunt? Mental health nurse? Was there a strait jacket in the footwell??

garlicbutter Sat 17-Mar-12 14:11:40

Oh, and you're doing your MN duty most diligently! Five stars grin

Um, original lad just seen kissing 30ish yo lady by dp.

Maybe boy is just total man slag hence mums anger confused

Sorry for bad typing making cakes but had to update.

garlicbutter Sat 17-Mar-12 15:17:17

You did the right thing, Confusion! Batter on the keyboard is nothing compared to cheeky cunt man slag in smelly car garden grin

So definitely not his social worker / health visitor, then!

He is a very ... unusual young man, innit?

petitema Sat 17-Mar-12 15:20:24

Are you making this up? I can't go that long without a poo.

FruitShootsAndHeaves Sat 17-Mar-12 15:32:40

maybe they haven't gone that never know whats in the ashtray.

petite I swear to you I am not making this up! --if I was it would be far more insteresting!--

And they vanish briefly now and again, and appear back from the green over the road!

I've had to go out so can't update until this evening. But the latest is he's asleep with his face against the window and for some reason they sit back to front hmm

Mirage Sat 17-Mar-12 19:04:35

This is hilarious.Nothing like this happens where we live.Although someone did move into the Cricket Pavilion once.I knew summat was up when I saw lights on at odd times.

Kenobi Sat 17-Mar-12 19:15:51

state, can I just say that you are winning mumsnet right now with your hilarious thread?

I vote you go and play classical music at them very loudly, like they do in tube stations to stop youths hanging around in them.

BareBums Sat 17-Mar-12 19:19:35

I have to mark my place because my phone isn't "watching" this thread for some reason!

<makes brew, sits back and relaxes>


WhiteTrash Sat 17-Mar-12 19:31:13

This is great, I dont even care if its all made up I love it.

Maryz Sat 17-Mar-12 19:34:16

I have a teenager who could sulk for Ireland, but usually in her own room hmm. I doubt she could last a week in a car.

Ok now they're annoying me, we have awful drum and base music vibrating through our house.

Dp finally grew a pair and tapped on the window and just said, "enough" its quieter but they're still there, engine has been running everytime I've been outside --to look--.

Ok I don't care they saw me dp just ran in and dragged me outide, they have a pizza delivery guy on his moped posting pizzas through the half open window.

You can't make this shit up.

I'm actually concerned me and dp are hallucinating its so SO weird.

MIssMarplesSideKick Sat 17-Mar-12 20:13:20

They are still there!?

millimat Sat 17-Mar-12 20:19:40

How many hours is it now then?!

scarletforya Sat 17-Mar-12 20:32:48

shock This is so weird!!

It's like one of those competitions where the people have to hold on to a car for days and the last one there gets the car hmm

Scarlet if that's the case they're even weirder as its a mismatched different coloured old bmw.

Millimat, roughly 160hrs.

They have the windows open this evening, the smell must be getting to them.

WhiteTrash Sat 17-Mar-12 21:43:42

I need to see pictures!

Tortington Sat 17-Mar-12 21:45:35

i would have phoned the police ages ago

Kenobi Sat 17-Mar-12 22:04:50

I think you need to dump some prawns in the car when they're sleeping and really stink them out grin

spendthrift Sat 17-Mar-12 22:12:21

Dp screaming with laughter wants you to put it on vid. More seriously, report it.

white there's one on my profile.

custardo we did, as have several neighbours. Nothings being done except contacting the council.

Dp has said he's going to ring again tomorrow morning as the music tonights seriously annoyed him.

spendthrift if I'd known they'd last this long I'd have set a video up seriously, I'm fascinated.

Eglu Sat 17-Mar-12 22:41:38

This has to be one of the most bizarre things I have ever read on mn.

I would be getting nothing done while watching them.

Clownsarescary Sat 17-Mar-12 22:55:10

If there's fornicating in that car they would be arrested. grrrrr

garlicbutter Sat 17-Mar-12 23:43:08

Blimey, Clowns, if people got arrested for fornicating in cars half the country would be in the nick!

Confusion, you should take a video and send it to the Beeb. They love news from weirdos in cars the street smile

Clownsarescary Sat 17-Mar-12 23:47:03

Garlic I know someone who has, can't remember the charge, and I'm not saying I agree with it, but it is illegal. and i have done it myself but not within human consumption


garlicbutter Sun 18-Mar-12 00:26:20


and, er,



Just had my last snoop of the day, from ds bedroom window.

Lad is all alone now, music stopped, engine off. He seems to be on a phone/hand held console so atleast he has entertainment.

Its just soo cold here its worrying me now.

Chirpychick2010 Sun 18-Mar-12 00:45:14

Maybe there trying to rein act that film! what was it called 172 hours? Its the in the hood version!!! lmao

PleaseChooseAnotherNN Sun 18-Mar-12 01:03:06

How bizarre, that is one stubborn teen!

Boomerwang Sun 18-Mar-12 01:07:56

And to think the Sun reporter could have had a story...

In fact why don't you call them up now? :D

Day 7 in the manky black and red BMW,

Original teen knocks on house, whom we assume is his mother answers the door, original teen hands over a tescos bag. I only hope its a card and gift and not jizzy tissues.

millimat Sun 18-Mar-12 11:04:34

<<bleurgh at the thought of the tissues>>

BareBums Sun 18-Mar-12 11:04:46

Maybe it's dirty washing grin

You'll be seeing the postman delivering mail to the BMW next hmm

Kenobi Sun 18-Mar-12 11:43:30

I think boomerwang's right, this would make an excellent silly story for The Sun.

Would they know it was me though?

I don't think I could do it. <Wimp>

bagelmonkey Sun 18-Mar-12 13:37:57

I wonder if they'll call a truce for mothers day.

violetwellies Sun 18-Mar-12 13:38:01

Oh you must grin

WhiteTrash Sun 18-Mar-12 14:12:22

Omg DO IT!!! PM me the details, I'll do it!!!

spudboo Sun 18-Mar-12 14:32:01

you are right to be worried, You are aware of the resent attempted abduction of a child on there way to school in the wythenshaw area. I would hope the public would inform the local pso of any unknown,strange,hanging arounds of any kind. For the safe and free play of our children!! well thats what i think anyway

cocolepew Sun 18-Mar-12 14:48:00

I love the fact that they got out while the mum used the car, and then got back in, plonkers grin

My auntie has come to see us, first words as she walked in, "why are there people playing cards in a car across the road?"

spud the police have been made aware more than once.

Kenobi Sun 18-Mar-12 16:52:37

coco that's probably my fave moment too. WHY did she give the keys back to them???

RabidEchidna Sun 18-Mar-12 17:08:01

Drags chair in to thread and awaits more updates

Can't update as the car is very steamed up, ill report back later.

Also drags in comfy chair......

Passes choccy hobnobs to Rabid

Opens flask.

RabidEchidna Sun 18-Mar-12 18:23:09

Awwww thank you Bossy, but I have given them up for lent, would you like some of my blueberries?

Is that Vodka in the flask? grin

oiwheresthecoffee Sun 18-Mar-12 18:35:19

This is brilliant. Please do keep updating.

Not a lot happening this evening, all steamed up still, but it is very cold and wet here.

MrsGuyOfGisbourne Sun 18-Mar-12 19:02:39

we had this a few years ago - i contacted the police to ask their advice, they said it was ok, not to worry, but would give no further explanation so I presumed it was some sort of covert operation. We have a famous neighbour so maybe was some threat against them

lazarusb Sun 18-Mar-12 19:30:02

Perhaps it's for Sport Relief? Only more 'relief' than 'sport'. grin

millimat Sun 18-Mar-12 20:30:13

Any further news? Should the aforesaid stroppy teenager be in school tomorrow?

Katiekitty Sun 18-Mar-12 20:47:02

<marking place>

<revving engine>

Don't think so millimat --now I've stared at him daily for nearly a whole week-- further inspection I'd put him at 18-23yo roughly.

Nothing much tonight except the parcel shelf now has so much rubbish on it its pressed against the rear window. Why being in a car means they can't stick stuff in a bin is beyond me.

Katiekitty Sun 18-Mar-12 20:50:32

Why not reach out a neighbourly hand with a gift - howsabout a 'Tree of Freshness' to hang on the mirror?

katie grin

I really wish I had the front to go over there. Just had a quick nose out ds' window, back door is open with legs poking out, my guess is they need to lie down and stretch out after a week of being crumpled up.

Its raining though! hmm

garlicbutter Sun 18-Mar-12 22:36:32

I've got it grin It's their camping holiday!

How about silently offering them a roll of bin bags?

They could poo in them.

According to all maps and sat nav we live in a forest, maybe they're lost?
There's a large cluster of trees behind the houses and dotted all over the estate, its kind of strange.

Yep that's it, they think there at centre parks.

ImperialBlether Sun 18-Mar-12 23:00:36

Where are they going to the loo?

NigellasGuest Sun 18-Mar-12 23:04:27

go out and check whether there's a film crew around - could be they are shooting a gritty docu-drama that will win a BAFTA????

imperial I have no idea <shudder>

nigella I've walked around a bit, school run, going to the green and play area etc, pretty sure there's nothing else strange occuring.

Were just hours away from a full week now.

ImperialBlether Sun 18-Mar-12 23:42:38

Well, I would go and get my hair done, then phone a newspaper!

Good god is this still going??! grin

yes State tuck a black bin liner under the wiper, they might take the hint.

When's bin day for you? Best not do it till the day they come to collect or it'll be festering in the street for a week!!

garlicbutter Mon 19-Mar-12 00:02:37

they think they're at centre parks


I have no idea when bin day is <pathetic excuse of a women> dp does the bins blush

Dp took ds to school today and I got a message, "windows open music on, movement, maybe they're spring cleaning?"

Well the car vanished for around an hour, its back now.

Dps rang 101 again and they've said again they'll contact the council.
Let's hope it is all as innocent and silly as it seems to me.

Kenobi Mon 19-Mar-12 17:03:03

You know, if you say that you are worried about the safety of a minor who has been living in a car for a week, you might get more reaction from the police.

I know you think he is over 18, but how can you be sure...? wink

beachyhead Mon 19-Mar-12 17:23:27

Hope they haven't read the centre parcs thread grin

ImperialBlether Mon 19-Mar-12 18:45:02

OP, do they leave the car and come back? Has it ever been driven in that time? Is it the same people in there all the time?

bagelmonkey Mon 19-Mar-12 18:47:08

Maybe there should be a sweepstake on how long they're going to continue living in the car.

They will get a council house soon,to trash.

millimat Mon 19-Mar-12 19:49:45

At what point will it be a full week in there?

maras2 Mon 19-Mar-12 19:57:24

Beachy.OMG.Retinal surgery please.

Its a full week now.

One lad is always there, he has left it occassionaly but never more than an 1hr.

He has driven off in it once, as has whom we believe is his mum.

Do be aware I occasionally stop snooping and sleep, interact with my dcs so of course I could miss him coming and going.

That said me and dp keep unsociable hours and unless he's only sleeping in the house between 3 and 6am, which I doubt, he's sleeping in the car.

This evening, all the windows are open and he's laying on the grass beside.

He seems quite happy with it all strangely!

Kenobi Mon 19-Mar-12 20:08:59

You STOP SNOOPING sometimes? shock shock shock

What about your duty to us???

I'm sorry kenobi but occasionally the thought crosses my mind that whilst I'm snooping someone is snooping on me and the dcs raiding the kitchen bin for there next meal whilst i twitch the curtains, and they will jump to the conclusion that I have a deep rooted love for double glazing.

Perhaps they couldn't afford a hotel for a family wedding and have lost their wallet

QOD Mon 19-Mar-12 20:38:50

We once went camping and whilst sitting in our car rather bored one windy evening the 2 guys were smoking joints and friend and I just got accidentally stoned someone arrived with an old cortina and an awning.
Never seen the like. they pitched it across the car, then, whilst she was inside presumably setting up beds in boot? he was pegging it down. Became apparent she was trapped inside. Omg I don't know how we didn't die of laughter, he had to unpeg and help her out the window, they then went off to the pub, as they nonchalantly strolled off he pointed a remote over his shoulder and BOINK . . . . Car/tent alarm was set.
Sooooooooo wish I could remember where the photos are!!

Maybe this is their son?

smeared we've seen him around plenty since moving here, and the cars always been around.

QOD that sounds hilarious and interesting at the same time, I want to see that, I really do. Dp wants to offer them dds ninky nonk pop tents, just for a change of scenery.

CuttedUpPear Mon 19-Mar-12 21:03:16

Best thread on MN today, all week in fact, good job I only just found it as no work would have been done otherwise.

There's been shouting outside and dp won't let me go and look, he's said ill end up getting shouted at or worse.

I tried saying I need something from the car. He's hidden the keys.

Sayes its for my own good, and mumsnets a terrible influence on me!

--ill give it a minute and go peer out the bathroom window--

BareBums Mon 19-Mar-12 22:24:01

shock bless your DH for being protective

Did he say who was shouting or what was said??

<nosey> grin

Kenobi Mon 19-Mar-12 22:40:49

Well then, what happened? <agog>

HepHep Mon 19-Mar-12 23:11:54


LynnCSchreiber Mon 19-Mar-12 23:26:02

Are they still there?

how long will a tankful of petrol last if they aren't actually driving? Do they have the engine running a lot?

Excuse me can we have an update so we can go to bed please miss curtain twitcher concerned citizen? grin

Sorry, I bloody well woke the dcs when peering outside, knocked a whole basket of toiletries into the bath <palm face>

Seems they were reving the engine to charge the battery hmm as the radio being on kept flattening it, would explain the brief trips out (I assume they'd get fuel then)

In short neighbour thinks they are "a bunch of fucking weirdos and could you fuck off an be weird on edinburgh close as that's where the weirdos usually appear"

And then I knocked the basket.

I'm sorry, I've let you all down with my clumsiness.

And yes, they are still there.

BareBums Tue 20-Mar-12 00:05:33

Oh no poor you, I hate it when I do loud clumsy things

Barebums luckily for the sake of my curtain twitching our side of the road has the garages in front of the houses so I'm set back from the road a fair way, --not so lucky when I want a good nose and eavesdrop--

Dp was most annoyed at me, I got the look the kids get when they totally ignore him.

I'll have another snoop when I drag my sorry arse to bed.

AbigailAdams Tue 20-Mar-12 00:50:55

This is madness on a stick! Can you imagine being married to someone this stubborn and sulky?

However, very entertaining for us grin

Well I have some idea grin but he's too much of a cleanliness freak to manage this kind of stunt haha!

Had a quick nose but dp called through, "state, I can hear you climbing onto the bath you know, do NOT expect me to protect you when your noticed"

I told him I was stretching <twat>

Anyway, original teen has friends over it seems, and someones brought a laptop. --checks wifi security--

I'll report back on the school run.

LynnCSchreiber Tue 20-Mar-12 00:59:10

Ha. Are you in (or near) Edinburgh? I feel a Scottish MN meet up in your street is needed. We'll sort them out.

Ripeberry Tue 20-Mar-12 01:17:18

Make a stinkbomb and stick it in their car.They won't want to go back grin

Afraid not Mme, I'm in east anglia.

Although I do think a group of Mners would be just the thing to terrify move them on.

BartletForAmerica Tue 20-Mar-12 08:08:22

Oooh, ooh, ooh, I'm in East Anglia! I have been watching this thread but didn't think I had anything to contribute, until now! Can we all come round for afternoon tea, State?

Hebiegebies Tue 20-Mar-12 08:20:47

I'm in the right area of the country too, what time and where?

RabidEchidna Tue 20-Mar-12 08:40:50

<builds small gazebo over chair and gets mere snacks>

Really don't want to out myself to everyone, but I'm not far from a rather large forest --ridiculously priced parking, adventure play areas go ape etc--, and think dads army.

Everyone in the cars still asleep.

Hebiegebies Tue 20-Mar-12 08:49:03

So I could combine it with a day spa?

Hebie I'm not the spa type so there could be one closer, but there are two withing 20miles I know of smile

garlicbutter Tue 20-Mar-12 09:52:57

Love that he entertains friends in his mum's car!

You could combine Hebie's spa with hosing their car down? Just rub Hebie down with seaweed before squirting, you can call it thalassotherapy wink

Kenobi Tue 20-Mar-12 09:55:50

It's time to creep up behind them with a foghorn or rape alarm, let it off then scarper. A few mornings of being woken at 6 like that and they'd soon cave.

Plus the prawns. Don't forget about the prawns. grin

Joking aside, the council are being USELESS. You're not actually allowed to live in your car on the public highway. Time for a call directly to them I think, or report them as minors to the police.

Garlic I now have really really weird images in my head grin

I have one of those rape alarms that you pull the pin out of and it screaches like a banshee. <Evil laugh>

Wrt where its parked, we live on a cul de sac, our side of the road has driveways and garages, other side has, path then parking bays, not designated, its a case of first come first served, if that changes anything?

Dps just annoyed as its directly behind us and he panics reversing since we got a bigger car.

WhiteTrash Tue 20-Mar-12 10:09:53

Its been a week now??

A week and a day.

WhiteTrash Tue 20-Mar-12 10:25:57

Ergh the smell. The rank, stale, old breath, off food, sweaty, jizzy smell.


ripsishere Tue 20-Mar-12 10:33:03

Coming verylate to this. I am astonished at how long they have lasted out. No showers, no lynx and how are they eating?
You've mentioned one pizza delivery, but they must be existing on sandwiches and crisps. Unless they've cunningly managed to connect a babybel to the cig lighter socket.

Ahh ffs, wrote a long reply and mumsnet went offline hmm

white I feel quite sick now.

I really wish I could get my hands on one of those 'police aware' stickers to slap on the window, that would shit them up a bit.

rip they do occasionally go out, and from the amount of rubbish or the parcel shelf, there is food. And wrt washing, I've met more than a few late teen males who happily ferment for weeks before someone forces a shower on them.


They have driven the car onto the grass and path outside the house, doors, windows and boot wide open and are cleaning it, like thoroughly, boy and girl, scrubbing away!

The thing I noticed first is they have matching fleece pjama bottoms on.

ripsishere Tue 20-Mar-12 11:34:58

grin are boy and girl combo siblings or partners?
I am equally fascinated and repulsed by this thread.

BareBums Tue 20-Mar-12 11:35:42

I bet they've been told they can come back in the house IF they clean the car...or they're proving they can live in the car by cleaning it?? confused

garlicbutter Tue 20-Mar-12 11:35:47

grin at twin fluffy jammies grin

Was it a dare, d'you reckon? Or maybe it was their week's holiday!

Pic on profile, ill pop back out again shortly and attempt a pj shot.

I'll be disapointed if they leave the car, its like having a pet, without dealing with the mess myself.

Matching pjs a dare, unlikely, people here do the school run in pjs, and I mean at 3.15pm not the morning hmm

Dp insists they're siblings, look similar, but but they kissed and are a bit, touchy feely <boak>

I'm off for another snoop, god bless dp for cleaning the garage today whilst there's action going on grin

Hebiegebies Tue 20-Mar-12 11:49:01

I am now envy I want my neighbours to live in their car so my DH will clean out the garage

RabidEchidna Tue 20-Mar-12 12:03:23

At least they are cleaning it

ripsishere Tue 20-Mar-12 12:03:39

I bet it's for sportrelief. They are going the extra mile.
How did you shoot that second picture. It's very running away in a war zone isn't it. Did you hold it by your arse and hope?

BareBums Tue 20-Mar-12 12:07:12

Eww maybe that's why she kicked him/them out cos he's canoodling with his sister??


ripsishere Tue 20-Mar-12 12:22:17

That's very flowers in the attic Barebums.

ripsishere Tue 20-Mar-12 12:22:37

Although given the county it's all playing out in, maybe not grin

LynnCSchreiber Tue 20-Mar-12 12:33:56

Ha. I love you, OP. Great photos.

Covert pics - you need to make it look like you are texting, just tilt phone up a bit.

lolol at matching jammies.

State I live next to a rather large forest in East Angular. In fact I might get out of my sick bed to wander around the estate over the road looking for a steamy BMW.

That sounded better in my head.

bagelmonkey Tue 20-Mar-12 12:48:39

I really hope they're cleaning it to get back in. I'll be disappointed if they give up & go home now.

NorfolkNChance from your name I'm assuming you must be nearby. There's 'free range segways' now at the forest I'm nearby. <Looks around suspiciously> and I'd just like to state I am nothing like the stereotypes my lovely estate boasts, we had a labrador (rip molly) not a pit bull of some kind grin

Rip that's what dp said hmm he's from the midlands although and finds everyone a bit bizare down here grin

I'm perfecting the photos, I keep making dd say cheese, then saying, "oh dd do stand still its all blurry" until I get a good'un.

I have NO shame, they're sat back inside it but its still on the doorstep practically.

Dps just came in, she whistled at him when he bent down to lock the garage, and his answer to what's going on is, "bunch of fuck tards, best not to try and figure it out, you'll drive yourself and your mumsnet lot insane eventually"

Oh and norfolk, that did sound a bit creepy!

bagel not as disapointed as me I can assure you.

Ah not too far away from you but just far enough, my name is a bit misleading I really should be SuffolkNWhat as I am just over the border.

I do know where you are though.

Again that sounded better in my head. And less stalkerish.

Haha, we just hoped the border last year, I was in the town known for its gardens and ruins <cryptic>

Ah I currently reside just outside the town of gardens and ruins (I work right by the garden in question) <small world emoticon>

ripsishere Tue 20-Mar-12 13:10:20

And my parents are relatively close to you.
I wonder what my Mum's up to, she could come down and give you back up in case you go in with your camera for the money shot.

It certainly is, our old house was a stones throw from them. although the garden in question is not in my good books, sand, water and my strange dd do not mix, and I've been finding sand in the car, pushchair, bags, me, you get the picture, for weeks <grumpy>

update the mum just threw a washing up bowl of water over the car.

Ew @ money shot

This is totally hilarious OP grin

Possibly its the cost of fuel/air charges that have caused them to have a staycation wink

rips good to know there's reinforcement should I need it, my own flesh and blood are useless ds swanned off to school, dd would rather watch ben and holly, dp thinks in crazy, and my mother <tuts> still lives the other side of the border.

I should leave the bastards really I should.

Oh dear original boy is NOT happy about the water.

BareBums Tue 20-Mar-12 13:17:38

She should have thrown it over him! grin

The cars now back in one of the parking spaces, more awkward to nose from the house now! <Sulks>

I'll have a sneaky look when I go collect ds.

You know it's a lovely day and I'm sure your DD wants to run up and down the pavement preferably screeching

mmmerangue Tue 20-Mar-12 13:46:40

"the cheeky cunt facebooked her to bring him out a spliff. Tenna and takeaway menu"

How long dya recon a teenage/early 20's male can sulk in a smelly BMW?"

Answer - until his bail hearing is up.

norfolk she probably would, but after an arguement with my car door sunday I've a rather nasty headache, ill encourage her to scream on the way past to school ok smile

Mmm that's a possibility.

smilingthroughgrittedteeth Tue 20-Mar-12 14:12:24

Can't believe I've only just seen this thread must spend more time in chat and less in AIBU

I'm so jealous my neighbours are all middle aged and boring, I want weird neighbours that live in cars!!!!

You've got to give him credit for his staying power I would have given up days ago

I'd have given up hours in smiling couldn't think of anything more dull than sitting in a car, well, spose if I had my phone I'd survive.

smilingthroughgrittedteeth Tue 20-Mar-12 14:33:35

I'm pretty stubborn so reckon I could have lasted a day (with a good book wink) but no way would I have made it to a week

GravyAndALumpyMashBaby Tue 20-Mar-12 14:39:18

State this thread has brought me no end of joy today grin
However I've now done zero cleaning whilst DS was napping
<too happily easily distracted>

I have to get out of the car for a stretch every couple of hours when travelling somewhere, cannot image having that kind of staying power!
hardcore bastards

BareBums Tue 20-Mar-12 14:59:23

I'd probably be so lost on MN I'd survive weeks in a car shock blush wink

Actually I'd feel pretty icky after two days of no washing so maybe not...

Same here barebums I'm useless without my morning shower, it makes me really grouchy not having one!

They're just sat there, magazines and chocolate bars to munch.

I want a chocolate bar.

mmmerangue Tue 20-Mar-12 15:54:11

Hehe State I noticed on the other thread you said 'welcome to Shameless' - I didn't want to say it but it does sound like a Chatsworth-worthy story! (Would have been round at his mums asking for the full story by now...)

If I could be bothered to talk to people I'd possibly discover its very chatsworth-esque but I live in blissfull ignorance, plus I'm new and shy blush --and get picked on at the school when I drop ds off for owning a family car, a bugaboo, mini micro scooters and the kids wearing clarks shoes to name a few sad--

It does have a reputation but me and dp have led a very quiet life here so far, plus the house is gorgeous smile

Just found this thread (after almost a week away from Internet access) and its kept me happily entertained for ages grin thanks op

Hebiegebies Tue 20-Mar-12 17:31:18

Just called in on a friend and her neighbours were washing their car on their front garden, I had to turn away from them to laugh as I was reminded of your thread

Please tell your DH that MNers are already mad, this thread can't make us any worse

BareBums Tue 20-Mar-12 17:36:01

When you say picked on do you mean because they think youre rich/snobby?

I assume so barebums when that couldn't be further from the truth, our car is the 2nd oldest one on the street, it just stands out because its a zafira and most of the cars here are golfs/puntos/peugeot 306/7, size doesn't mean money (it cost us £500) and my pushchair given to me by a friend, clarks shoes, well I choose to buy them because I think they last well and ds is comfortable in them.

Dp took dd to take ds to school one day and someone told him they can't both be his dcs as they're too different.

I have a few friends down there so I ignore the ones who dislike me for no reason. It really doesn't bother me mostly, if it wasn't these things they'd be calling me fat or such like. Its one group of parents who grew up here and seem to dislike anyone who didn't.

I know everyone sayes oooh I'm not a snob! But I'm really not, I was a teen parent, grew up in a single parent family on a council estate. I'm just quite shy which really doesn't help me.

hebies grin

update they seem to be back to the normal routine, only saw them move when the ice cream van arrived.

RabidEchidna Tue 20-Mar-12 19:49:06

State, please when you update us can you do it in the voice of the big brother bloke grin

Day 16 in the jizz stinking car grin

Sittinginthesun Tue 20-Mar-12 19:56:17

Just read the whole thread - a really entertaining read. If you're not careful, this will end up in Classics. smile

Nothing wrong with being a bit of a snob, btw.

SemperUbiSubUbi Tue 20-Mar-12 20:09:06

"Day 16 in the jizz stinking car"

Ha ha ha ha grin I laughed so much that I almost almost did a little trump blush

Day 8 in the jizz stinking car (that now has a hint of febreeze)

Original boy looks sad, and eats what appears to be a steak bake whilst leaning on the nearside front door.

Original girl has been playing on her phone for several hours.

Nossy mother from across the road made an attempt to speak to them but they appear to not understand english.

Live eviction --is when ever the police get sick of dp--
Call 0800slutgirl to vote original girl out of the jizz stinking car
Call 0800jizzpant to vote original boy out of the jizz stinking car.

Votes cost £450 from you landline, and mobiles cost considerably more. Voting closes friday 9pm --whenever the police show up-- votes after this time may still be charged.

*nosey <fucktard emoticon>

CuttedUpPear Tue 20-Mar-12 21:08:07

Big Motor

CuttedUpPear Tue 20-Mar-12 21:13:45

And if you say it proper Newcastle-like, there's no T in Motor (Mo-or?)

I can't believe I have only just seen this thread!

state I want your sleeping in a car neighbours! I've only got a stoned giggling old woman. Might see if I can get her to start camping in the street or something grin

millimat Tue 20-Mar-12 22:02:18

Just bumping thread up so we keep getting updates!

musicposy Tue 20-Mar-12 22:05:29

How did I miss this thread for a week? OP, this is so entertaining! Keep posting smile

Jackin Tue 20-Mar-12 22:16:14

" I just had a argument with my caow of a mam, when she said why don't you fack off in your car with your girl slag innit. but I said I'll fack off in your car! but I don't have ignition key so I'm not going in till she says sorry.
Also this women keeps taking photos of me from over the road, I think she fancies me or summfink."

You might end up getting secretly fond of em. Like Alan Bennett and his Lady in the Van. She started off on his street and ended up on his Drive for 15 years wink

CakeMixture Tue 20-Mar-12 22:32:45

Hi stateofconfusion
I have only just spotted this thread!
I especially like the photo evidence to prove its not a wind up.

A friend of mine lived in his car for 5 months last year (local council said he wasnt homeless because he had his car!) - the police moved him on constantly (five or six times a night sometimes). The police wherever you live OP must have a different agenda!

CakeMixture Tue 20-Mar-12 22:33:57

Oh yes - definately read about Alan Bennett and the lady in the van - very funny and terribly sad at the same time grin sad

I'd feel terrible if they were actually homeless and got moved on, we spent most of last year homeless, no mention of our car, but that maybe because we have dc?

Who knows!

Sorry I've been absent this evening managed to take a nasty knock to the head sunday and its been worse today.
Nothing new to report I'm afraid.

I'll be back first thing.

garlicbutter Wed 21-Mar-12 00:07:40

Oh dear, I'm sorry to hear about your bump. Are you okay? FGS, don't let your thread keep you from resting! But we may have to fire you for incomplete updates

ripsishere Wed 21-Mar-12 07:02:32

Don't they get a bit chilly at night? The days have been lovely for the past couple of days, the evenings noticibly chillier, fuck knows what night time is like.
I did laugh at woman in the van, me and DH saw that with Maggie Smith.
You need to clarify something for me. Are they properly foreign or just from Norfolk? not much of a difference but important.
Hope your head feels better.

BareBums Wed 21-Mar-12 08:18:33

You rest dear, <hands state a brew> and for what it's worth you seem a lovely person smile

garlic better this morning usless I poke it <kicks car> the door swung open into my head in the wind.

rip its very cold here from 6-7pm onwards, just suddenly goes cold from a sunny and mild day, but they do appear to have the engine on in the evenings so hopefully that's for the heaters not the cigarette lighter powered vibrator.

Yes they are properly foreign, high percentage of polish people here but I honestly don't know where the car folk are from.

Thanks barebums blush

Dp has taken ds to school as I was feeling funny last night so ill get an update from him soon smile

BareBums Wed 21-Mar-12 09:34:02

You should have gone a&e with that head injury - especially if it's the reason your feeling funny.
Hope your ok

I know blush I had a busy day and kind of forgot about it then rubbed my head yesterday and made it hurt all day.

Going to try and get a doctors appointment.

Day 9 in the Jizz stinking car.

Original boy and original girl are wearing matching pjs. Seen eating, and wrestling with a duvet.

What nosey mother over the road wants to know is why they don't get in the front and fully recline the seats, instead of cramming into the back seat?

BareBums Wed 21-Mar-12 12:55:13

Haha the neighbours are actually trying to encourage this?? hmm

Did you go dr yet? <mumsy emoticon> grin

mmmerangue Wed 21-Mar-12 13:38:37

Still loling...

These kids have got amazing stamina!

My teenage fights with mum & dad were 9/10 sorted out within 5 hours of 'I hate you! I'm going to live in the caravan!' - Caravan was bigger than a car but bloody cold and dirty...

I'm the nosey mother over the road grin

I'm on a waiting list for the doctors, they'll call me --on the 25th of never-- when there is a free slot.

But having worried all night its not hurting today, --unless I poke it--

I'm about to pop out so hopefully some updates on my return.

WhiteTrash Wed 21-Mar-12 14:00:07

This NEEDS to be made into a book.

They laughed at 24 Years at the Tap End but look at 'em now!

They aren't in the car...

Day 9 in the jizz stinking car.

2pm this afternoon original boy was seen leaving the jizz stinking car.

By 2.25pm original girl had also left.

We eagerly anticipate there return.

BareBums Wed 21-Mar-12 14:55:42

Bet they cracked and have gone home tail between legs?
The cleaning of the car was my first suspicion.

barebums I think things may be about to get interesting, the car was leaving as I went to get ds from school.

On my return home original boy and girl are in the house, lots of shouting and rummaging in cupboards etc.

Me thinks mumsy has hidden there keys!

I'm going to 'look' for something in the garage and find an online translator so I can give a more detailed update.


garlicbutter Wed 21-Mar-12 15:37:30

Oh, excellent!

Not sure whose side I'm on now - exasperated mum or car-camping kids!
"Nosey Mum" gets the most votes, of course wink

RabidEchidna Wed 21-Mar-12 15:58:54

Gets more snacks

Cars back, mum got out and walked away.

(Not sure if I previously stated she has her own set of keys as when they got out so she could 'use' it before they locked it, she simply unlocked and drove off, they aren't too clever it would seem.)

Im putting some new pics up, tbh they're not to interesting, just its back, but I want to keep you all in the know.

I have dinner and dc to organise but ill be back outside soon, I think I need to clean my car.

BareBums Wed 21-Mar-12 16:24:47

Brilliant state

But I never realised how close to the action you actually were til I saw the last photos so do be careful!!

GravyAndALumpyMashBaby Wed 21-Mar-12 16:26:47

ooooh. Watch they don't move into your garage if she evicts them from her car State!

mmmerangue Wed 21-Mar-12 16:34:07

I wonder if that mum is secretly on Mumsnet watching us all gossip about her...

ripsishere Wed 21-Mar-12 16:48:04

Good point by Gravy, don't leave the garage door unsecured, there may be some sort of squatters rights.
You are brave and bonkers. I'd pay money to know what it is all about.

GravyAndALumpyMashBaby Wed 21-Mar-12 17:24:41

I think their Mum sounds fab standing her ground like this.
I will think back to this thread when trying not to give into DS and his huge puppy dog eyes like a sucker

Me and dp being out front at the car and garage isn't unusual at all, nor is me taking pics of dd.

Don't worry.

As for the garage 3 locks, normal and one on top and bottom and the cars parked about 2" from the door. Oh and next door has cctv up covering the garages.


They Are back. More news shortly.

oldraver Wed 21-Mar-12 17:50:33

Your neighbour has CCTV ? could they not... reposition it ?

Unfortunatly the neighbour with cctv is the one who's sisters house I now live in, therefore he kinda doesn't speak to or acknowledge me in anyway.

Ill go as far as photos and updates but speaking to someone for the first time just to ask if I can use there cctv to film someone across the road will make me look crazy. --as if the other stuff doesn't already--


Day 9 in the jizz stinking car. Original boy returns and sits in the drivers seat with the door open.

Original girl sits in the back.

Two children, between 5-10yo are visiting them at the car as if it were there house hmm

New photo on its way. (Again don't worry, I was out at the tumble dryer when I spotted them and got a text so acted like I was replying)

Ok I do sound crazy. I'd like to add here this is all harmless and merely curiosity and entertainment. <Twitch>

Hebiegebies Wed 21-Mar-12 18:12:04

Thanks for update
Can no one offer them a tent? smile

Kenobi Wed 21-Mar-12 18:17:45

or some Kleenex.

BareBums Wed 21-Mar-12 18:20:01

<Offers state a brew on day 9 of her stake out> grin

ripsishere Wed 21-Mar-12 18:23:50

Whoa. What did I miss about you living in NDNs sister's house?
Are you paving the way for the over the road jizz dwellers to make an attempt on your NDNs house?
is that, in fact, how you got yours? You, DH and DC rocked up one day in an Escort van..........................

Jackin Wed 21-Mar-12 18:25:17

Fuck the kleenex these guys need baby wipes. or a pressure washer


We only found out it was his sisters a little while ago, were in a private rent through a housing charity, moved in and neighbour was offhand, though nothing of it really. Each to their own.

LL spent two days her fixing our boiler, I made him lunch and cuppa and turns out he got the house cheap as it was reposesed and auctioned off, and it was neighbours sisters.

Hence his hatred for us.

jackin I have a pressure washer, should I offer it?

Dp just looked paniced, sil is giving us her caravan due to her downsizing her car, and us having a tank of a car. We were putting it on the drive a few weeks whilst investigating storage. Now he doesn't think we should grinhmm

ripsishere Wed 21-Mar-12 18:47:21

So you say wink


Dp just read over my shoulder, "escort van I should be so bloody lucky, nooo we have to have a family car <insert word of choice> boring zafira <mutter moan>"

Dp is a builder and his dream is to have an escort van hmm

GravyAndALumpyMashBaby Wed 21-Mar-12 19:10:22

Oh No! Don't park your caravan on your drive now! Then you really would be the posh buggers! Having a caravan that you're not even living in! It'd be like rubbing their faces in it. grin

RabidEchidna Wed 21-Mar-12 19:27:00

I love this thread

gravy I hadn't even thought of that, it will up the school gate issues, I can just hear it now, "3 bed house and a 4 birth caravan, all I've got is a 1 bed flat, drugs, it must be drugs or she's a prossie"

Right the 3yo finally asleep, I'm off to clear the car of ds school stuff, ill report back.


I am not posh at all

Jackin Wed 21-Mar-12 20:01:19

You could offer them the pressure washer, then you'd be really close and could give us lots of info.....

That is kinda tempting, I really do want to go and have a good nose through the windows.

Blimey, what has become of me, you lot are a bad influence wink

Dp went and cleared the car while I settled dd so now I'm thinking of an excuse to go outside.

<Hands round cake>

RabidEchidna Wed 21-Mar-12 20:27:34

If you are getting a caravan can we please play how many mumsnetters can you fit in?

Yes rabid <nods exictedly>

I've finally found something positive about getting a caravan.


Now my lovely friends, what excuse can I find to go outside?

Is your cat outside whether you have a cat or not is immaterial

BareBums Wed 21-Mar-12 20:37:42

•You have a headache and need air?
•You need to smoke
•you left something out there
•you're mad as a hatter


LizzieMint73 Wed 21-Mar-12 20:38:08

You need to see if you can still see the planets?

Mad as a hatter is the only logical one.

orienteerer Wed 21-Mar-12 20:49:08


pepperrabbit Wed 21-Mar-12 20:49:35

I'm admiring your dedication to the cause reporting here - bet you weren't expecting this at only 83 hours!
Can you get some pots/random flowers and feign an interest in gardening? This would also provide foliage to hide surveillance equipment <planning for the long game>

And get you with your bullet points.

BareBums Wed 21-Mar-12 20:52:34

grin I discovered them recently and have been itching to use them, so thanks!

•I agree with getting plants
•decorate your lawn with crap so if someone nicks it you won't care


pepperrabbit Wed 21-Mar-12 20:53:36

Gnomes! (with little cameras...)

Oooh pepper you genius! Me and dp have been planning on livening up the front garden, as you can see its rather dull.

bare I want to know how to do them friday when after two whole computer free years I get mine back!!! <Dances>

Not only am I dedicated but I'm posting via a phone, that struggles to do most things let alone mumsnet!

And no when I posted I did not expect to still be going days after!

holy shit i have just lost an hour of my life reading this - wow and grin

My stupid phone had a heart attack, sorry.

Not a lot to report except they still have the matching pjs on!

millimat Wed 21-Mar-12 22:48:10

Fab photos - how many hours is it now? Am v impressed you can do these updates - it's just taken me half an hour to fill in from this time last night grin

millimat I have far too much time on my hands, new area with no one I know. Ds in ft school and just an independant 3yo at home, plus dps off work for a bit so I don't have much to do around the house as he's fairly usefull.

How many hours, ummmm... Roughly 258 and a half. Just roughly.

Managed to go out, said the bin smelt haha, nothing going on but they are still in it!

TheSockPuppet Thu 22-Mar-12 01:13:07

I think would be a good idea to park the caravan in your street, but first set up lots of hidden cameras inside and set up a live feed to mn, then 'accidently' leave the door unlocked - it will be like our own version of big brother grin

Jackin Thu 22-Mar-12 06:34:18

Jizz stinking caravan? it doesn't sound the same. you would have thought they would have sold the car and bought an estate instead confused

Jackin Thu 22-Mar-12 06:35:03

you could have the mumsnet logo painted on the side! grin

Hebiegebies Thu 22-Mar-12 07:40:47

It's gone half seven and there is no update! Come on SofC, you're slacking here grin

toddlerama Thu 22-Mar-12 07:51:13

Have they stirred?

therumoursaretrue Thu 22-Mar-12 07:57:20

Waiting for an update too! This thread has brought me no end of amusement grin

Just hopping in the shower, I have a great view from the bathroom window.

And how early are you lot up?

toddlerama Thu 22-Mar-12 08:17:26

You can't expect us to sleep when there's a stinking car to be snooped on.

smilingthroughgrittedteeth Thu 22-Mar-12 08:30:40

I've been checking in since 6am really need to get out more this thread has kept me entertained all week grin

Still no update? Stateofconfusion, you're slacking!

bagelmonkey Thu 22-Mar-12 12:41:24

Maybe exciting events in the jizz stinking car are unfolding so quickly that she can't update us. There could be camera crews and police negotiators trying to coax them out. And a firecrew standing by to hose them down before the fumes hit civilians.

BareBums Thu 22-Mar-12 12:43:06

Bagel you need to write the book! That's brilliant grin

GravyAndALumpyMashBaby Thu 22-Mar-12 12:58:26

Oh State please hurry up and neglect your children and DP to get back to us with an update.

<Already neglecting my child and DH so I can read this thread> grin

< pushes toddler off lap >

TheSockPuppet Thu 22-Mar-12 13:12:36

Or maybe she's busy writing up a theme tune for the new Mumsnet Jizzbrother? grin

I'm so sorry!

My realisation whilst in the shower was that you weren't up early I was up an hour late meant I had no time to check back in, and my 3g allowance has ran out on my phone and my mum --lives in the dark ages-- has no wifi!!



During my shower I cracked open the window and spied throughout (please note bathroom window is about the same height as my kneck, no one saw me nekid) one of them left the car, couldn't tell who due to matching pjs and a hoodie with the hood up, disapeared onto the green for a few minutes and shuffled back.

They looked around very furtively like they were upto something.

On the way to school the car windows were all wide open, but no-one could be seen inside. However last time it was left like this --and I ran over gleefully to nose about-- someone was laying down on the back seat so I didn't investigate further.

On arriving home a few minutes ago, one window open a crack, lots of duvet to be seen and movement. How on earth they can be under a duvet I don't know, its rather warm here and the cars in full sun.

Again, sorry for my absence. <Throws around cake and fab lollys>

ripsishere Thu 22-Mar-12 16:04:47

You really are going above and beyond aren't you?
I'd prefer a cold beer if you've got one. Not a great cake or ice cream fan. I am partial o a mivvi.

GravyAndALumpyMashBaby Thu 22-Mar-12 16:08:48

You know you don't actually have to apologise don't you? grin
Surely they can't live in there forever?!

Has DP called the council again?

GravyAndALumpyMashBaby Thu 22-Mar-12 16:09:41

<Snatches Rips cake and lolly>

TrinityRhino Thu 22-Mar-12 16:14:55

this is hilarious grin

<People pleaser emoticon> <also has no life emoticon>

No beer I'm afraid, dp isn't allowed it (medication not alcoholic) have some naice juice in the fridge.

gravy I'm starting to think they might!

Hebiegebies Thu 22-Mar-12 16:38:03

Magnum please

Thanks for update, they need to have a daily challenge to earn their food like they do on Big brother smile

Kenobi Thu 22-Mar-12 16:50:48

How on earth they can be under a duvet I don't know, its rather warm here and the cars in full sun

they're making the sexy, obvs.

uurgh, even more jizz.

SemperUbiSubUbi Thu 22-Mar-12 16:58:50

and they are obviously going over to the field for a poo [vom]

. marking

I've just spluttered juice everywhere at “they're making the sexy“ grin

I hope they're not shitting on the green! That's the one with the zip line on! I really cba to walk --out my back gate and across two very small roads-- to the other one with a playground on.

I'll go out for an update shortly. Bloody ds has just managed to skype my 6yo sister who by pure co-incidence is on the laptop and has legged it off with my ipod!

Only just caught up with this thread.

It's great grin

The stables I used to keep my horse at, we had a guy who lived in his car for months. He used to go off during the day to do odd jobs, then booze all evening and return to sleep in the car. We would be mucking out at 7am and he would be under a stinky duvet, sleeping off the beer.

His car was rank.

There doesn't appear to be alcohol involved in this pairs madness.

Brief sighting, still in the matching pjs!!

theonlyhb2 Thu 22-Mar-12 17:51:43

this is amazing. totally neglected child whilst reading this.

we had neighbours who had the dirtiest house ever, you couldn't see thru the windows, get thru the gardens, the garage was overspilling of stuff. Then they bought a really new car (an F Reg one, blue escort) and they had it parked at the end of our road and they would get up out the dirty house and sit in their car all day. All 4 of them. And they were all really fat so it looked hilarious. They also used to clean it regualry which I couldn't understand cos they never did their house (their neighbours moved because of all the mould and damp etc that was leaking into theirs)

ripsishere Thu 22-Mar-12 17:54:44

eww theonly.
D'ya think your jizzers who are clearly doing the sexing want a couple of shats for company?

RabidEchidna Thu 22-Mar-12 18:02:47

You so know they are bumping ugly s under that duvet grin

This thread has been the highlight of my week as feeling pants.

Wish my neighbours were this interesting envygrin

grin at Rabid Bumping uglys - made me lol my 7yr old wondered what I was chuckling about!

theonly do you recon my weirdos are there children? They're just doing what they think is normal?

Fwiw, the house looks normal, kitchens on the front and it always looks bright and clean.

I really wish I could work out what language they spoke so I could learn to say, "why the frick are you in your car so much, why?"

I will absent tomorrow I'm afraid as I'm taking my knackered computer and laptop and trading them in for a re-con that works. But that means I can update more easily and hopefully more coherently, my phone is useless for this kind of thing.

update they appear to be waiting for the ice cream van.

bumping uglys

never a truer word said, seriously.

theonlyhb2 Thu 22-Mar-12 18:40:17

state we are in the right county! I dread to think!!

what ice cream did they get? i bet it was a screwball

I didn't see, dp said one of them had a wippy of sorts, either screwball or oyester, couldn't see the bit in his hand iyswim.

I really wish I'd gone out to get one now, perfect opportunity for a close up look! <Palm face>

GerardWay Thu 22-Mar-12 19:14:07

ripishere as SOC isn't the best hostess is rather busy spying on people I can offer wine rather than beer. grin

<Waggles tongue at gerard>

There's some vodka and malibu in the kitchen if your that desperate for a drink.

millimat Thu 22-Mar-12 19:21:49

Do you think Google Earth or StreetMap would mind updating thier data for your street?!

Hebiegebies Thu 22-Mar-12 19:25:31

I'll bring the coke and orange juice
Still waiting for my Magnum, even a 99 would have been oksad

Oooh hebie, I have a mini dark choc magnum smile <throws magnum>

Why millimat <missing the point and confused>

bagelmonkey Thu 22-Mar-12 19:53:32

I don't know what we're all going to do while State is offline updating her spy equipment computer. What if something happens?
I think we need a webcam from the bathroom window.

Onadietcolabreak Thu 22-Mar-12 20:15:21

This is pure genius! I too have a lovely house on a rough estate, hated it at first, but the live Jeramy Kyle esque action is def a plus point grin OP, there really should be a MN awards ceramony, get your poshest frock on lady, as you will be awarded a large golden pair of binoculars for your special service to Mn. Your dedication is truly an inspiration to us all!

It won't be for long, only 1hr round trip obviously some time there. Ill be back in time for lunch.

And of course testing new laptop will be high on my list of priorities and what better way to test than come update you lovely bunch --of mad stalkers like me--

Bagel I worrying just considered that! When bil returns my netbook (6th april) that has a built in cam, if they're still there I promise some footage, bathroom window ledge is perfect size for it to sit smile

<Chucks around profiteroles>

DP is refering to us all as 'spunkwatch' btw!


millimat Thu 22-Mar-12 20:46:53

I meant for a permanent webcam!

update UPDATE

Day 10 in the jizz stinking car.

Original boy leaps out of car screaming shouting anf flailing his limbs around.

A minute or two later original girl joins him.

They throw open all the doors.

There was a rodent in there, I shit you NOT!

I'd like to take this oportunity to thank dp from the bottom of my heart for screaching "state spunkwatch a go GO" during his evening poo, with no regard for sleeping dcs. Luckily they slept through but an evening with screaming children would have been so worth it for that!

They're now out there with a broom wacking random leaves etc, that's cleary freaked them right out!

millimat Oh, yes, yes they should!! --i had a mild panic that you knew me had checked it and didn't see the car and was worried you were my mum hahaha <breaths>--

Wish I didn't give a shit about outing myself!

When I get the laptop tomorrow ill look and see if the cars visible!

RabidEchidna Thu 22-Mar-12 21:11:37

ROFL at that, oh this thread is too good

State You really should write a book about this! I am in stitches with the idea of them jumping out of the car because of a rodent! They will be placing mouse traps under the car mats grin

I am alone tonight as my son is out so this thread will fill my night grin

I've just realised were in chat!

They'll delete this, oh shit.

They're now gingerly picking through the car and shaking things grin

No SOC if you don't fill the whole of the roundup this week AND get into Classics I'm throwing my Pombears into the corner. grin

Thank you bossy grin

Well, rodentgate didn't scare them that much they're back in the car!

Although they did finally put some stuff in the bin.

Hebiegebies Fri 23-Mar-12 00:31:39

MN classic!

Do you think the mum put the rat in the car to freak them out, or is it today's challenge

Thanks for the ice cream, yummy

Lol at it being today's challenge!

bagelmonkey Fri 23-Mar-12 05:59:20

I think mumsnet HQ should send a team out to you in a cleverly disguised van with some surveillance equipment and set up a live feed to the website.

Jackin Fri 23-Mar-12 06:38:38

Sounds like we have a volunteer bagel!

ripsishere Fri 23-Mar-12 07:03:36

D'ya think they'll still be there at bank holiday weekend? I'm driving down to Norfolk, I can't afford to take DD to a theme park, this would be the next best thing.
I wonder whether they can claim housing benefit?

rip they do seem to have impressive staying power so who knows?

bagel that's a great idea, although HQ managed to loose Pom so gawd knows what would happen if they left the office!

update this morning they are reving the engine, alot. Its making me stabby.

I'm off for school/computer run now. Back around lunchtime smile

millimat Fri 23-Mar-12 08:48:25

Urghh a rat <<shudder>>
I'd be out of there for good!
Don't worry SoC, at other end of country!

pepperrabbit Fri 23-Mar-12 09:01:59

eeugh a rat!!!!
And LOL LOL LOL LOL at "go STATE spunkwatch a go!"
Your DH can be an honorary MN for such dedication. grin

Am trying to read all of this very quickly and post without the ending being given away, It's like reading a really interesting book that you just have to read at once.

I kind of want to read last few posts to put me out of my misery, but fear that it will ruin the build up.

I'm just at this morning and had to post. They sound like lovely neighbours (I have some like that too, although they wouldn't live in a car for nearly a week I hope, at least not that I've noticed).

Oh no, I've just seen the word rat, I'm going to go back up ^^ there before I ruin any more for myself

<Has just realised that I'm not at this morning, I'm at LAST Friday>

I hope for the mum's sake that they're still not there.

I want to know

No I don't

Yes I do

Oh Crap, I need to caryy on reading, before my head explodes

BareBums Fri 23-Mar-12 09:58:07

Just think how manky that car is for there to have been a rodent most likely a rat in there! And the dirty buggers still haven't even washed themselves! They must stink! state I'm surprised you can't smell them from yours...

<hands out pegs>
<pegs nose>

Hebiegebies Fri 23-Mar-12 10:00:26

Could be time to call in environmental health with their decontamination suits rather than calling the police

I'm rather hoping this will make the local TV news smile

Hebiegebies Fri 23-Mar-12 10:01:02

Welcome LadyBabs

TandB Fri 23-Mar-12 10:10:16

i've just read the first ten pages of this. To save me reading the rest, please just tell me - is he still in the car?

smilingthroughgrittedteeth Fri 23-Mar-12 10:13:43

Yes they are still in the car.

I've just caught up with the latest, ewwwwww to a rodent can't believe they are still in there after that!

Thanks for the peg BareBums I dread to think how much they smell

GravyAndALumpyMashBaby Fri 23-Mar-12 10:25:34



<Settles down>

I've finished, and I'm glad I took the time to read it without ruining the end too much.

<Shudders> Ugh rodent, if it was me I would have grovelled to my mum LAST MONDAY to let me back in be sitting on the roof of the car - I'm very brave hmm Ok maybe not.

Fears pegs may be needed for EVERYONE'S noses.

Don't hope it makes local news I won't be able to watch it then hope it makes national news.

That's one dedicated DP grin

everlong Fri 23-Mar-12 10:52:00

<< mind boggles >>

Only read first page where he's in the car and last page where he's in the car.

grin at rodent how bad must that car be! grin grin at your DP that's brilliant

they are still in there!!

we just had to park next to them as yet again an arsehole delivery driver has 'borrowed' our drive it does whiff over there, like driving by a dump. They still have the matching pjs on just to add to the smell. DP bless him, said maybe they have a few pairs the same.hmm

arent things big and bright on a computer screen!

Welcome back to the world of big screens State

I only just recently got a laptop after ages of not having one, it does make a difference, It's just not the same on a phone.

You should have sprayed some airfreshner or something as you got out of the car to drop a hint.

Leave a can of deodrant on the bonnet with a bow wrapped around it and a note saying "Just incase you didn't realise, you're polluting our nostrils" and possibly some tissues saying "Just incase you've ran out of space to jizz in the car, get a room grin"

2yrs, well more than that computer free, its made me lazy though, that automatically capitalises stuff and spell checks as i type, so I'm likey to be attacked soon for horrendous spelling, grammar and punctuation.

They're out of the car, original boy has removed his top, I'm afraid i cant watch that anymore.

*that being my phone.

Hebiegebies Fri 23-Mar-12 12:01:34

Do you think we should club together to buy the couple a swim pass each so they can have a shower and a some tokens for the laundrette? This could be ther prze for sharing the car with the rodent

The rodent makes this

I'm an unloved teenager get me out of here

Rather than

Big Son Car

TrinityRhino Fri 23-Mar-12 12:04:09

so when are you gonna set up a webcam?

"Im an unloved teenager get me out of here"


trinity whilst i am tempted to i feel it may be a step too far, my netbook has the webcam and is current at the ils, it returns home on the bank holiday, if they're still there I will attempt some footage, but I don't want to end up getting arrested wink

You can't get arrested if the place you happen to keep your laptop happens to be on the bathroom windowsill pointing outside and you happened to leave the webcam on by complete and utter accident, not meaning to record the very smelly teenagers across the road, who happen to live in a car (apart from when mum's driving it) with a rodent of some kind wink

I'm wondering if i can convince someone to swap netbooks, mine has a static person facing webcam, my friends can be swiveled to face outwards, that would look more innocent, yes. grin

They've gone out, on foot, finally clothed and not in pjs!

You mean they actually have clothes other than matching fleecy pjs?

It might look more innocent, but with a static one you could say it just happened to be facing them, look it doesn't move so I just put it down and it recorded, but a movey one would look like you pointed it in right direction iyswim?

bagelmonkey Fri 23-Mar-12 12:40:49

Maybe they've gone to buy a mouse trap.

Hebiegebies Fri 23-Mar-12 12:41:18

Quick, put up CCTV while they are out!

bagelmonkey Fri 23-Mar-12 12:42:08

Maybe the 'delivery van' is really the MNHQ surveillance team???

RabidEchidna Fri 23-Mar-12 12:47:59

MNHQ please never delete this thread

TheSockPuppet Fri 23-Mar-12 12:53:29

Who votes for the next mumsnet meet up to be at States house so we can all have a nosey at her manky neighbours?

RabidEchidna Fri 23-Mar-12 13:17:51

In her caravan grin

Bagel Don't you mean rat trap grin

zombiewitchdocktor Fri 23-Mar-12 13:42:13

Does the car have a sunroof? If so - can you get himself to run over there in the cover of darkness (professionals stylee..) and get him to drop a bug bomb in? Won't help much with the smell but might stop any further infestations of bugs/ rodents....

"spunkwatch" gringringrin
Oh this HAS to go in classics!

GravyAndALumpyMashBaby Fri 23-Mar-12 14:32:36

Oh hell, I'm miserable on behalf of the manky buggers grin

It's warm here today. I wouldn't fancy sitting in the car let alone living in it.

Classics please MN grin

eugh, i just popped out in the car and after only sitting in the sun a short while it was so hot and stuffy, i could not stand that for any amount of time! Got my drive back now, blooming iceland! Ocado wouldnt dare park on an empty drive <mutters>

thesockpuppet if mumsnetters werent scared off by the mere outskirts of this estate I'd welcome you all to join spunk watch with open arms, oooh we could have badges <geek> i just got a new sofa with sprung slat sofa bed its ver comfy ----comfier than my bed envy- so that plus caravan we could have a nice size team.

zombies <runs and looks> yes there is a sunroof, im reconing a few more days of full sun and they'll open it, he's happy to drop a bug bomb in if he can throw in some condoms too.

they appear to be in the house, one came out briefly to empty some rubbish from the car and went back in. I'll be off out shortly as were taking the dcs out for dinner --asda cafe is bogof on adult meals and kids eat free dontcha know- because i just dont want to cook! ----and ds has been begging to go in the asda cafe for aaages--
But as the weathers nice me and dp will possibly wash the cars when we get back and the dcs are asleep so ill get some good watching done grin

spamm Fri 23-Mar-12 15:00:37

Has anybody actually nominated this thread for Classics? Because if not, I am very happy to do so, it has been keeping me amused all week and I keep updating my dh as well.

GravyAndALumpyMashBaby Fri 23-Mar-12 15:05:15

How do you do that Spamm? Should definetely be in classics!

This should be in Classics. It's fab grin

I have nominated, it's being reviewed by the Classics Committee I so want to have that job but the more people who suggest it the better. Report the OP and ask if it can go into Classics.

covermeup Fri 23-Mar-12 15:38:02

I've nominated!

This is the first thread I go on as soon as I log into MN! I HAVE to know the latest update before I can focus on anything else!!

Best thread I've ever read! grin