Why the Friggity Frig <GLARES> didn't anyone, not one of you, think

(754 Posts)
Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 12:22:20

to tell me what a piece of piss Chicken and Sweetcorn soup is to make! It takes 5 minutes and costs fuck all. I have being buying this stuff you know? With ACTUAL money.

One idle google and 10 minutes later dd and I have a pan full for lunch, it's lovely.

It was bad enough finding out about cleaning washing machines, and Veet to unclog hairy plug holes.... and now you failed to tell me this angry

Well you horrible lot, what else have you being holding out on, and keeping from me?????

Byeckerslike Mon 27-Feb-12 12:24:06

Veet to unclog hairy plugholes??? shock

Well you information witholding BASTARDS grin

ShirleyO Mon 27-Feb-12 12:24:52

Wait, go back.

Veet cleans hairy plugholes? <snigger>

No, seriously, is that true?

ShirleyO Mon 27-Feb-12 12:25:17

Cos my plughole is a hairy disaster. <guffaw>

LackaDAISYcal Mon 27-Feb-12 12:25:43

WD40 to remove salt stains from leather shoes and condition/waterproof them

stealthsquiggle Mon 27-Feb-12 12:26:41

Veet? Really?

I think I may be possibly put off the whole soup idea by that, but HoneyDragon could you link to the results of your soup-googling, please?

stealthsquiggle Mon 27-Feb-12 12:27:27

WD40? really?

Oh FGS I know nothing angry

messymammy Mon 27-Feb-12 12:28:32

Eh is bleach not cheaper than veet?
And I hate sweetcorn,reminds me of poo (sorry!)
I need some proper information...<whine>

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 12:29:45

D'you manage to find a way to shoehorn using the Prospero into the soup prep at all?

ShirleyO Mon 27-Feb-12 12:30:15

Bleach just makes sure the hair is spotless though messymammy. It doesn't melt it away.

Fillybuster Mon 27-Feb-12 12:31:31

Ugh, sweetcorn.

But wait....Veet? Really? How?

And tell me more about the washing machine cleaning....

What else have I missed???

Mumsnet killed any love I had for sweetcorn ...

Any chance of sharing the recipe?

messymammy Mon 27-Feb-12 12:35:37

Bleach definitely dissolves the hair in my plug hole!I do have very thin hair though, maybe that has something to do with it?
Mr muscle or cilit bang must be cheaper than veet surely? What pricey cleaning methods!

stuffthenonsense Mon 27-Feb-12 12:38:59

Heres another nugget....if you find that some moron has bumped your car with their door in the car park, WD40 will remove any paint residues but leave yours intact....just rub with a soft cloth (i am very sad, i keep a can and a cloth in the boot just for this).

randommoment Mon 27-Feb-12 12:39:02

I just misread your post as mr muscle or clit bang messy....

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 12:40:17

Having googled I did as thus

Chucked garlic and ginger (waitrose frozen stuff) and a finely chopped onion in pan cooked a bit till soft.
Lobbed in left over roast chicked.
Chucked over cornflour stirred.
Poured over roughly a litre of chicken stock (from cube)
Brought to boil
Chucked in some frozen sweetcorn, ignored it for 5 minutes.
Voila! Lunch

Viv - even I couldn't justify processing half an onion, but I did consider it grin

My hairy plug hole - sadly as my hair is very long and fine it tends to stick and build up over time so bleach just cleans my hairy plug hole. On advice here I chucked some Nair down left it and came back and rinsed and my hairy plug hole was hair free, it saved me 10 minutes of pulling reams of matted hair out and wincing at the horror.

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 12:42:49

<adds WD40 to shopping list>

They sell Veet in poundland although I still have some left from when Getorf told me to burn off my pubic hair, and you don't need much.

ripsishere Mon 27-Feb-12 12:44:31

Tomato soup is a piece of piss too.
Chop an onion into bits, cook it in a bit of olive oil until it softens, throw a can of toms in cook it all for about 20 minutes, adding more water if necessary, blitz it or push it through a sieve and there you have it.
You can add cream, fresh or dried basil, garlic..............

PippiL Mon 27-Feb-12 12:48:05

Veet? Plugholes? Why wasn't I informed of this?

Have a very new shower, less than 2 months, and the plug hole is full of my ginger mop. And I am the only guilty culprit...though DH does shed masses of spiders legs down there.

PippiL Mon 27-Feb-12 12:50:13

I love WD40. It once was used by a friendly guy to fix my car when I broke down. I was WELL impressed.

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 12:51:48

See I know soup is easy, but my brain had somehow mis-functioned and decided that chicken and sweetcorn must be special.

S'like Profiteroles - all fancy and expensive in M&S, yet the reality is anyone can make them and they cost naff all. Yet they entice you in their shiny plastic pyramids into thinking £3.99 is worth it for 5 hmm

LackaDAISYcal Mon 27-Feb-12 13:20:14

Oooh, I just made some chicken & sweetcorn soup, but I omitted the onions, added a tablespoon of soy sauce, sone cornflour and water to thicken slightly, ANA swirled in a couple of beaten eggs. Deeeelish!
And the first thing my poxy DD has eaten since Friday!

I have come to the conclusion that I know nothing....I did not know about cleaning the washing machine by running a hot wash with the machine empty until last week, I did not know veet got hair out of plug holes until I read this, didn't know how easy it was to make soup.....where have I been living?
How do you know this? Why DON'T I know this?
Any other secrets I should know that I have been oblivious to all this time????
My husband and children have been living with unclean washing machine, hairy plug holes and no soup for 14 years, evidently I need help sad

TheElusiveBidet Mon 27-Feb-12 13:24:03

Veet! Of course, its so obvious now I think about it and so much nicer than using a wire coathanger to clean out your hairy plug hole.

I make chicken, sweetcorn and ginger soup.

thegrumpyqueen Mon 27-Feb-12 13:24:46

Hang on, hang on. Rewind. WD40 for salt stains on shoes?! Like the ones you get from walking in the snow? Really? What do I do? Just rub it in?

Also marking place to learn all the other lessons I have clearly missed...

LackaDAISYcal Mon 27-Feb-12 13:27:58

effing jeffing autocorrect...angry

GrimmaTheNome Mon 27-Feb-12 13:28:41

You can stop hair getting into the plugholes in the first place by getting a Dossil.

Mrsjay Mon 27-Feb-12 13:29:52

you dont need to buy veet for your hairy plugholes grin I buy a cheap bikini cream the sachet and put that down to de hairs the plug hole , I tried to pull the hair out but it makes me heave ,

Marking my place so I can get back to this recipe. drool

RalphGnu Mon 27-Feb-12 13:30:09

I presume you all know about the correct way to open a banana?

The joy it gave me when I tried it out...

<needs to get a life emoticon>

LackaDAISYcal Mon 27-Feb-12 13:31:10

Yup, spray onto a soft cloth and wipe away

I have a book of "extraordinary uses for ordinary things" and WD40 is one of the most useful things in it, excepting vinegar <nods wisely>

LackaDAISYcal Mon 27-Feb-12 13:33:00

Oh yes Gnu....monkeys have been doing it that way for ever!

5inthebed Mon 27-Feb-12 13:34:36

<eagerly awaits banana opening training>

thegrumpyqueen Mon 27-Feb-12 13:35:25

My DD loves opening bananas like a monkey.

Now... where did DH put the WD40...?

And why can't any of you make me actually do the stuff that IS on my to do list?!

What is the correct way to open a banana? hmm

RalphGnu Mon 27-Feb-12 13:40:37

Norman, 5inthebed, this will change your life. Not really.

Gently pinch the non-stalk end and hey presto! The banana opens!

RalphGnu Mon 27-Feb-12 13:41:46

I don't even like bananas but I bought one just to test this out!

RalphGnu Mon 27-Feb-12 13:42:33

When I say I bought one, what I actually mean is I tried it on a banana at Tesco, whistled in amazement and walked away

Really? That's amazing! grin

Iamweasel Mon 27-Feb-12 13:43:34

Need more banana info

Iamweasel Mon 27-Feb-12 13:44:27

Which bit opens? The stalk end?

Mine didn't hmm

Tuppenyrice Mon 27-Feb-12 13:44:47

<pads off to run hot wash on empty machine>

TheElusiveBidet Mon 27-Feb-12 13:45:03

I presume you all know about the correct way to open a banana?
Yup, spray onto a soft cloth and wipe away

I'm putting this down as one of my favourite xposts of the day!

RalphGnu Mon 27-Feb-12 13:45:48

No, not the stalk end weasel, t'other end.

If anyone knows how to get black moldy stuff out of washing machine detergent drawer PLS TELL ME
It's probably really simple but I just don't know sad

RalphGnu Mon 27-Feb-12 13:48:28

Remove drawer and wash in soapy water, tantrums.

5inthebed Mon 27-Feb-12 13:49:34

Well who knew?! Have eaten two bananas, ust to make sure that the first one wasn't a fluke.

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 13:52:01

Anyone know how to stop my fridge smelling?

I've cleaned it out thoroughly with bicarb dissolved in water, ditto all shelves etc. I've left a pot of bicarb in there, and two lumps of charcoal that we've been replacing every other day. Its been 2 weeks and it still smells.

Luckily its the auxiliary fridge, but I have a shitload of auxiliary beverage I'd like to put in it so any suggestions welcome please.

robino Mon 27-Feb-12 13:52:25

Seriously? The banana thing? I bloody hate bananas, was verging on the phobic before I had children and decided that bananas must be A Good Thing and I would feed them to the small ones. Does it really work?. If so, why the hell has NOBODY informed me?

The drawer won't come out?!?!

Mouldy black bits on washing machine drawer ?
The only way I know is to remove the drawer, put under hot tap . Then use fairy liquid and washing up brush scrub it away muttering to yourself about cleaning a piece of equipment that is used to clean clothes then replace the drawer muttering again about how fiddly this stupid bit of plastic is

But it really WON'T COME OUT (why???)
Although obviously its meant to and I just can't do it???

RalphGnu Mon 27-Feb-12 13:56:30

It should come out tantrums, just give it a firm tug.

If not, try a baby bottle brush and some detergent and then some anti-mould spray?

robino Mon 27-Feb-12 13:58:03

Ralph I think I love you! No more having to go and ask strangers to open a banana because I lack the ability to do it get a knife to chop the stalky end off .

Byeckerslike Mon 27-Feb-12 14:00:12

<ridiculously excited about the banana thing>

GrimmaTheNome Mon 27-Feb-12 14:03:00

tantrums, my drawer has a bit inside that has to be sort of pushed down in order to pull it out. Just guddle around a bit...

robino Mon 27-Feb-12 14:04:18

In fact. Even better. I need never open a banana ever again because the DDs should be able to do this all by themselves. <gives Ralph a Mumsnet Knighthood for services to the banana phobic>

stealthsquiggle Mon 27-Feb-12 14:04:53

I have bananas. They are destined to be banana cake. I am now impatient for the chance to bake purely because I want to try out banana opening and may end up with several banana cakes as a result

RalphGnu Mon 27-Feb-12 14:04:59

I can't take credit for the banana thing, I learnt it on Mumsnet (obvs).

I did a maintenance wash on Sunday and the kitchen stank to high heaven of skanky old washing powder; the clothes smell much nicer when dry now though.

I heart Mumsnet.

iseenodust Mon 27-Feb-12 14:05:02

In Horton Hears a Hoo the monkeys open 2 bananas at a time by putting one under each armpit and squeezing <wanders off again to sing I want to be like you>

PippiL Mon 27-Feb-12 14:05:23

Off to eat a banana.

The dossil thingy won't work on my shower cos my, er, hole is too big.

I have a posh hole.

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 14:05:28


Pardon me?



sad I'm doomed to have warm cider aren't I sad

RalphGnu Mon 27-Feb-12 14:07:18

ViviPru, hot water and lemon juice?

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 14:08:10

Thanks Ralph - not tried that one. Will give it a go. Any other takers?

stealthsquiggle Mon 27-Feb-12 14:08:48

vivi - if it is a booze ancillary fridge, so that everything going in there is in bottles sealed containers, does it matter? I used to let DH keep stinky cheese in the booze ancillary fridge on that basis.

Ha ha I've got it out!!! (the drawer!)
May not be able to get it back in tho......
But at least it will be clean smile
Vivipru I wish I could help but I have a moldy washing machine drawer that a 5 year old could prob. get out but I couldn't without help from mn, I have no advice for anyone (hangs head in shame) sad

My detergent drawer has a sort of dimple , on the bit in between the sections where the detergent and softener go . Just press that down , and it comes out easily . When I remember how to do it .

RalphGnu Mon 27-Feb-12 14:10:40

Loving the thought of a booze ancillary fridge. grin

GentleOtter Mon 27-Feb-12 14:10:44

Kevin McCloud <namedrop> showed us how to make a banana penguin.

GrimmaTheNome Mon 27-Feb-12 14:12:02

Tantrums, it will almost certainly pretend that it can't go back in but be firm with it.

stealthsquiggle Mon 27-Feb-12 14:13:00

share, please, GentleOtter....

iseenodust Mon 27-Feb-12 14:13:02


RalphGnu Mon 27-Feb-12 14:14:22

A banana penguin???

Tell me more.

<sidles up to GentleOtter>

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Mon 27-Feb-12 14:15:20

dishwasher for the shelves vivi ? lemon half left in there? fairy power cleaner spray? wd40 grin sounds like you have tried already though, it wont infect your cider though use it as it is.

<Desperately waiting for online shopping to arrive so I can try out the Mumsnet Banana Method>.
Seriously though, You just squeeze the bottom and it opens? Where does it open, at the top?


StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Mon 27-Feb-12 14:16:54

eagerly awaiting the banana penguin

I may have to kick it back in be firm
I'm actually pretty pissed off that so far on my day off I have had a fight with--cleaned the washing machine drawer, washed curtains, changed bedding and and --gave a quick wipe with sponge cleaned the fridge.
The oven is screaming out to be cleaned, happily I have become deaf to that!!

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 14:17:54

Wow, I can use the money saved from soup to buy a banana and open it correctly and then throw it away

Viv have you given your drainage hole a good poke out?

Also can DP also smell it? or are you pregnant?

GentleOtter Mon 27-Feb-12 14:18:32


Put your thumb under the stalk bit and open the banana.
Eat 1/3rd
Carefully pull down the front part of the banana skin and split it in two to make two penguin flippers.
Flop the stalk bit over
look at it sideways

Banana penguin!

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 14:19:00

oh and why did I not know about Dossils? Or that they were called Dossils?

Honestly you lot.

Pleas ignore the fact I have manage to cross out my whole message, I actually am going to give up today, I am happily useless today smile

Again....what are dossils?

Information withholding AGAIN

With some washing machine drawers you need to push up a bit from underneath. Try looking in the manual or looking up the model on-line.

When you do get it out spray the black bits with a bleach solution, leave for a while and then scrub. Repeat as necessary.

Washing machine drawers can also be cleaned in the dishwasher.

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep Mon 27-Feb-12 14:21:43

Vivipru, have you pulled it out and cleaned the channel for collecting defrosting water at the back? Could be all sorts growing in there.

PippiL Mon 27-Feb-12 14:22:45

I'm washing my converse a la MN instructions right now... Maintenance wash after <smug>

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 14:23:59

Grimma linked them further up, silicone hair traps for plug

Some very lazy busy people me put their washing machine drawer a empty dishwasher and chuck in 1/2 whatever citrus fruit looks dodgiest in the fruit bowl and a load of soda crystals, put on a hot wash and then happily drink coffee knowing they are doing two deep cleaning jobs at once.

Then wipe of drawer once out for any slightly grey residue with a damp cloth

That sounds like a better idea than washing it myself, very questionable lemons in fridge, will throw those in too!

BrianCoxHasScaryHair Mon 27-Feb-12 14:28:15

Getting some strange looks as sit here waiting for my delayed bus, Laughing like a drain hair free

GrimmaTheNome Mon 27-Feb-12 14:30:42

>Information withholding AGAIN

You have to read the thread ... I know, you were too busy drawer-wrestling.

PippiL, I'm sure at some point I've seen an extra big dossil for big plugholes...CBA to google it for you though.

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 14:32:14

It makes the cider bottles smell, though, Step. I'm sick of rinsing my Bulmers before I drink it like some sort of alcoholic mince-rinser sad

Yeah DP can smell it too, Honey so no indication of updiffery.

I'll wang the shelves in the dishwasher, although they've been airing outside the fridge for a week and don't smell now.

I'll try all of your other suggestions too, appreciated, all smile

LackaDAISYcal Mon 27-Feb-12 14:35:00

I bought my oven because the blurb in the shop said it was self cleaning...

Two bloody years I've been waiting for it to get it's thumb out of its arse...

Sorry sad
Will read the thread next time

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 14:36:26

Viv have you given your drainage hole a good poke out?


StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Mon 27-Feb-12 14:38:11

soda crystals and rubber gloves. I love MN but there is another thread about things you have learnt on here... DO NOT GOOGLE ANYTHING that it suggests, I mean really really don't.

Lemonylemon Mon 27-Feb-12 14:38:15

Vivi - A small bowl with some vanilla essence in. Apparently this works....

ShirleyO Mon 27-Feb-12 14:39:30

What kind of a smell is it Vivi?

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 14:40:46

Z]I have just hurt myself laughing at "some sort of alcoholic mince rinser" grin

and I can let it out. I dread to think what looks poor old Brian's getting grin

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 14:42:23

Ooh not heard that one, Lemony.

The Alcohol Auxiliary Fridge now contains the following:

Cup of bicarb
Two lumps of coal
Bowl of vanilla essence
Pot of ground coffee
Cut Lemons

No cider sad

Will let you know if I have any joy smile

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 14:44:23

Its fishy.

Proper dutty rank fishy smell.

We had some fresh squid in there, which in itself didn't smell, but the outside bag did and we hadn't realised. Must have picked up the smell from the delivery van.

grin honey

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 14:50:38

Viv maybe you should make them into some sort of fridge cleaning paste in the Prospero? any excuse

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 14:52:21

<already on it>

Trills Mon 27-Feb-12 14:54:22

I have fridge envy

stealthsquiggle Mon 27-Feb-12 14:55:27

have to admit to genuine LOL at alcoholic mince rinsing too...

Vivi so your booze auxillary fridge now presumably smells of an interesting combination of vanilla, coffee, lemon, bicarb, coal and fish (WTF is with the coal, BTW - charcoal I could understand, but coal won't absorb anything, will it confused?)

Fillybuster Mon 27-Feb-12 15:15:23

I hate it when work gets in the way of MN....

Pinching a banana??? <whistles in amazement> Who knew? Robino - I'm with you on the verging-on-phobic about bananas thing, but feed them dcs 1, 2 & 3 and try not to heave....

Am investing in cheap hair removal cream on my way home tonight...

Now, can someone PLEASE tell me about cleaning my washing machine? Will it get rid of the gunk in the seal???

90 degree wash, nothing inside the machine, cleans it up lovely
But please don't do what I did, which was forget I was not washing any clothes, put soap powder in, and didn't notice until soap suds filled the door (then run in to my kitchen cursing the people who made me think it was a good idea, turned off washing machine, put rinse cycle on and then started again!!

PercyFilth Mon 27-Feb-12 15:26:18

Dossil? £3.49? WTF? Get yourselves to a proper hardware shop, preferably an independent one where they will probably be about 99p.

Fillybuster Mon 27-Feb-12 15:29:03

Ah....thanks tantrums, I would so have put soap powder in if you hadn't told me smile Now then - can I use the 'short wash' (1hr 30) or do I have to do the long cycle?

Will this really get seal clean??!

Byeckerslike Mon 27-Feb-12 15:29:03

Agree percy, mine is from wilkos, twas less than an enlish pound

stealthsquiggle Mon 27-Feb-12 15:29:26

the non-branded hardware shop version of a Dossil is also very handy in playmobil obsessed owning households to prevent the loss of flippers and other small pieces of bath-resident playmobil.

Byeckerslike Mon 27-Feb-12 15:29:38

Which is less than an english pound obvs blush

Fridge- saucer of ground coffee

Whoops, was reading this thread very slowly at a birthday party and see someone has alreadysuggested coffee for the fridge

Think it had to be a full hot wash cycle.

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 15:41:27

Yes sorry, it is charcoal, not coal.

It's like some kind of dodgy installation art piece confused

And it still smells sad

<<whizzes onto thread to flash 3rd pleasantly scented fridge at envy s> >


StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Mon 27-Feb-12 15:47:15

a THREE fridge house? shock

<takes note of Playmo-tip from stealth>

Any one have any oven cleaning secrets?

smartiesrule Mon 27-Feb-12 15:53:20

Don't use it.
It stays beautifully clean grin

takingbackmonday Mon 27-Feb-12 15:53:52

WHat's WD40?

GlitterKitty Mon 27-Feb-12 15:58:58

Filly- I put those soda crystal things inside drum (and few in drawer) before doing the naked boil wash, the seal was clean after but still a bit stained from my dyeing experiments.

Dont forget evil bottom drawer on washing machine where extra water/gunk collects.

There is one of these secret drawrers on the tumble dryer too (as well as inside door fluff filter)- didnt realise THAT for 4 years, when machine had collected a wooly blanket in there. Put fear of god into me as it can cause fires shock

<hopes you all go and clean your filthy drawers>

smartiesrule Mon 27-Feb-12 15:59:46

<nobody offering to use the 'l' word?>
<sigh, okay I will>
WD40 is a tin of lubricant.
No, not used like that!
Good on hinges etc

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 16:03:58

3 fridges Chaos? confused So...

1. General fridge
2. Alcohol Auxiliary fridge
3. Cheese fridge? (that's what I'd have)

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 16:06:12

FFS Viv send that picture to the Tate, give them the fridge and buy a new fridge and car with the proceeds!

I'd have a booze fridge and a chocolate fridge.

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 16:07:06

<<ignores Chaos' three fridges>>

tootssweet Mon 27-Feb-12 16:07:33

What an education I am getting from MN! Just had a banana & will be buying some cheap hair removal cream next time I shop - & I found a shopping list yesterday & hung onto it - not truly sure why I did that!

StrandedBear Mon 27-Feb-12 16:08:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 16:08:11

I'd make a fridge out of chocolate fill it with booze and have one hell of fucking good night.

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 16:08:55

Really Stranded? I keep looking and pondering, I shall invest forthwith

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 16:10:26

<<adds Stranded into Big Black Book for not imparting such wisdom sooner>>

<<trips over one of Chaos's army of fridges>>

MiladyGardenia Mon 27-Feb-12 16:11:17

And if any of your fridges are those brushed steel ones, the best thing to clean the outsidey bits with (for the removal of Unsightly Fingerprints) is baby oil.

That's it. That's me all used up now.

ouryve Mon 27-Feb-12 16:15:37

Wipe with a solution of vinegar or lemon juice. Fishy smells are amides and ammonia - the acid will help get rid of those.

stealthsquiggle Mon 27-Feb-12 16:15:50

Norm - you mean you don't already have one shock? How does Bossy Ross keep track of all his crew's kit - they must spend most of every bath doing kit checks.

ouryve Mon 27-Feb-12 16:16:59

Talking about Vivi's fishy fridge there of course.

Ah well, stealth, my owner seems to make more use of the paddling pool than the bath for Bossy Ross's excursions. And if he does use the bath, it gets combed carefully for small items before the plug is pulled wink.

PrisonerOfWaugh Mon 27-Feb-12 16:19:54

Smelly fridge tip: a chunk of peeled potato will absorb the smells (maybe)

I heard somewhere that cutted up onions and cutted up boiled potatoes were good for absorbing bacteria - maybe they would also absorb odours?

grin X-posts with Prisoner!

PippiL Mon 27-Feb-12 16:23:59

Chocolate, in a fridge? Wash your mouth out. That is just plain wrong. Everyone knows it has to be room temperature so you get ''mouth feel'.


GrimmaTheNome Mon 27-Feb-12 16:28:31

>I heard somewhere that cutted up onions and cutted up boiled potatoes were good for absorbing bacteria - maybe they would also absorb odours?

potatoes might... onions could only compound the problem, surely?

('cutted up' - that sounds like someone who's spending too much time talking to toddlers - so cute grin)

FourThousandHoles Mon 27-Feb-12 16:29:15

We've had dossils in our house for yonks, but I had no idea they were called dossils. They're known in our house as the "sink drainer thingy". It had never occured to me though to put one in the bath <doh>.

I also have a booze auxilliary fridge in the shed. In the winter it gets too cold and cans start exploding things freeze in it.

I don't know Grimma, a fridge ponging of onions might still be better than one stinking of fish! grin

My owner is 11, so I don't often talk to toddlers, but ever since the Cutted Up Pear, I tend to think of things as "cutted up" now... blush

WordsAreNoUseAtAll Mon 27-Feb-12 16:33:57

I'm just sat here giggling at fishy drainage holes, posh hairy holes, filthy drawers and lubricants.

I shouldn't be allowed on grown up threads.

-marks place-

PippiL Mon 27-Feb-12 16:36:09

Mine was a posh ginger hairy hole dontcherknow.

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 16:36:33

I've not tried the vinegar thing, ouryve I'll give it ago.

<chucks a cutted up potato in with the installation art>


StrandedBear Mon 27-Feb-12 16:37:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 16:39:01

<chucks lit match in with installation piece>

stealthsquiggle Mon 27-Feb-12 16:41:12

I think the combination of lit match and charcoal might deal with the smelly fridge - but not in a manner that would result in un-smelly booze auxilliaries

smartiesrule Mon 27-Feb-12 16:41:46

Come on Vivi, we need an updated picture please. There'll be no room for anything else soon...

lazydog Mon 27-Feb-12 16:44:33

I have a food fridge and a tortoise fridge grin

flywiththecrows Mon 27-Feb-12 16:48:26

did anyone try out the red bra under white t-shirt thing?

seen it mentioned on here a while ago.

apparently, if you wear a red bra under a white top then you don't see the red bra?

I don't have a red bra so cannot try this out.

We have

1. Normal kitchen fridge.
2. Double fronted smeary glass beer fridge for drink, obvs.
3. Overflow fridgefreezer which generally stores forgotten about science experiments chicken carcasses. blush

And I cannabis believe that we have got this far on an "I didn't know, you britches" thread with absolutely no-one mentioning cling flim.


Cling film??????

GlitterKitty Mon 27-Feb-12 16:56:47

Cannabis Britches?! shock <interested>

And now you all know that cannabis is dyac for cannae.

I am a born educator.

GlitterKitty Mon 27-Feb-12 16:57:29

...dyac...? Is that like Pictish?

Chandon Mon 27-Feb-12 16:58:51

It does work, the bra thing.

My auntie, who always hits on my dad to annoy my mum grin showed us last week.

She walked into the kitchen where my mum and dad were, and said she was wearing a red bra under a white top and then liften her top to show her ample bossom encased in red lace. my dad was confused, and my mum was hmm.... they are all in their mid seventies by the way grin

Wonders if auntie is MN er.....

How does that work?

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 17:00:05

we don't have any potatoes

house that nutrition forgot

Chandon Mon 27-Feb-12 17:00:20

Chaos, you been smokin again hmm

THe tabs in the end of cling film boxes to hold the tubes in place

flywiththecrows Mon 27-Feb-12 17:02:21

Chandon grin

Still confused about cling film, this thread makes me feel very stupid tbh sad

MrsSnaplegs Mon 27-Feb-12 17:04:50

I have just asked Mr S the domestic god if he knew about the maintenance wash thingy - he looked at me funny because I clearly didn't realise he does one once a month blush
<reason 264 why I go out to earn the money and he runs the house and kids>grin

smartiesrule Mon 27-Feb-12 17:04:51

grin grin grin
Thanks Vivi!
And the food goes where?

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 17:12:43

The food goes in the general fridge, smarties. This here is the Alcohol Auxiliary Fridge. The contents of which are homeless at present.

jenfraggle Mon 27-Feb-12 17:16:46

<loves the Diet Coke to make the giant pile of alcohol it look healthy>

Byeckerslike Mon 27-Feb-12 17:20:19

The red bra thing does work! Although i discovered it a few years ago by accident, i had a white cotton top which i couldnt wear a bra under but you could see my nipples very clearly through it! blush

All i could find was a red scarf which for some ason i tied round my boobs then put the top back on, you couldnt see it... Or my nips! And the top was very thin

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 17:20:40

blush We've just got back from a birthday weekend away. Much of this is the leftovers. Honest, Guv'nor.

smartiesrule Mon 27-Feb-12 17:21:06

Oh blush
Not keeping up

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 17:28:23

Either I am very thick, or everyone else is to polite to ask

WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK IS A TORTOISE FRIDGE???????????????????????????????????????????????????????

<<waits for Lazydog to elaborate further>>

A fridge full of tortoises?

(I didn't like to ask)

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 17:34:57

bollocky fuck I think you may be right Tantrum shock

Is this legal, how did I not know you are meant to keep tortoises in your fridge confused

fuzzpig Mon 27-Feb-12 17:35:45

< lurks in hope of gaining useful information that I'll probably never get round to using >

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 17:35:57

Is it wrong that I judged the tortoise owners for having Blossom Hill in their fridge?

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 17:36:53

fuzzpig I think that ship sailed once Viv decided Squares were a potato and people put Tortoises in fridges

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 17:37:04

Can someone hurry up and assure us that the tortoises like it please?


fabwoman Mon 27-Feb-12 17:37:50

1/2 a cut onion absorbes the smell of paint.

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 17:38:18

Oooooh I do have another one.

To remove raw plugs put a screw in and the unscrew and out pop both leaving a nice neat fillable hole

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 17:39:15

erm.. Am I putting a pot of paint in my fridge now? Or a cutted up onion in my paint confused

I think I need a lie down.

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 17:41:00
fabwoman Mon 27-Feb-12 17:41:09

The recent exceptionally warm weather experienced this autumn in the UK, with record-breaking temperatures all over the country, has caused many tortoise keepers serious concern, as animals that would normally already be in hibernation are active and continuing to feed, or are in a “mid-way” condition, neither hibernating nor feeding. Such a state, if maintained over a long period, can result in a steady loss of weight, to the point where should it (finally) turn cold enough to induce hibernation, they may no longer of sufficient weight to survive.

There are a number of scenarios keepers need to consider:

1) Tortoise feeding and delayed hibernation

If the tortoise is still feeding, it is vitally important that even if the weather changes and becomes cold enough for hibernation (50 F or 10 C) a period of fasting (non-feeding) MUST occur before the tortoise is placed in hibernation. The exact timescale required will depend upon several factors:
•The size of the tortoise (large animals require more fasting time than small animals)
•Ambient temperature (higher temperatures accelerate digestive function, lower temperatures slow the time taken to digest food in the upper digestive tract)

There is no ‘absolute’ timescale for this, but as a general guide only, at 65 degrees F or approximately 15 degrees C a medium sized tortoise will need about 3 weeks fasting time before it is safe to place it in hibernation. A small tortoise may require as little as 2 weeks at the same temperature, a larger animal may need as much as a month.


A suitable fasting period at ‘intermediate’ temperatures is therefore vital. See ‘Safer Hibernation & Your Tortoise’ for full details.

2) The house is too warm – the shed is too cold!

This is a common problem. The only viable answer in such cases is to resort to the refrigerator hibernation. This is not as scary as it sounds! With correct set-up it is a very safe and effective method, and completely overcomes the (serious) problem of fluctuating temperatures. We have some excellent articles describing how to achieve this in our online library.


My tortoise has always hibernated in a box in the attic, but this year keeps waking up. What can I do?

The attic is clearly too warm. In this case, I would recommend refrigerator hibernation.

Will it be a shock for my tortoise to suddenly change to a new method of hibernation?

No. Not at all. If the temperature is correct, it will hibernate perfectly safely.

They are predicting a warm autumn and then a very cold January. How might this affect hibernation?

This is a very dangerous combination. Animals may have lost significant weight prior to temperatures finally falling, and any severe freeze-up poses major risk of frost damage occurring. Monitor temperatures carefully (daily) and check weight regularly. Use the Jackson Ratio chart and measure carefully. In times of extreme low temperature move the tortoise to a safe (above freezing) environment as a matter of urgency. Even a few hours of sub-zero exposure can result in blindness or death.

Is moving a tortoise in hibernation dangerous?

No. It causes no problems whatsoever.

What if I cannot arrange for a ‘fridge and my house or garage is still too warm?

The only safe option is to OVERWINTER, meaning keeping the tortoise awake and feeding throughout the winter period. To do this you must provide adequate light and heat.

Can I hibernate my tortoise in my kitchen ‘fridge?

Not if you intend to use it for food at the same time. You should not mix animals and foodstuffs due to the potential for transmitting disease.

Would one of those small ‘drinks refrigerators’ be OK?

Some work, some don’t. Unfortunately, without testing them for temperature stability it is impossible to say. On the whole, a larger food-grade refrigerator will tend to give best overall temperature stability and accuracy.

fabwoman Mon 27-Feb-12 17:42:06


Just incase anyone plans to do it.

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 17:43:15

Jesus, this thread has taken a sinister turn sad

fabwoman Mon 27-Feb-12 17:43:56

Don't put paint in your fridge!

I have a book that tells me everything about everything is anyone really need to know something.

lazydog Mon 27-Feb-12 17:45:22

LOL! Sorry - phone rang - didn't mean to cause panic! grin

A fridge (as long as you have an alarm and/or cut-out to ensure that the temperature doesn't drop too low) is the absolute safest way to hibernate tortoises (assuming that they're of a type that would hibernate in the wild.)

For a tortoise to not lose weight and vital fat reserves during their hibernation they should be kept as close to 5C as possible so a fridge (with an air pump running from the outside, or just with the door seal slightly broken) is ideal!

Wow, I was joking about fridge full of tortoises lol
Vivi, put the paint in the fridge and the onion next to it and the fridge won't smell of paint.....oh hold it, it doesn't smell of paint does it?
Well you might as well add it to the infamous art installation anyway

Honeydragon, no not wrong for judging the blossom hill, it has to be champagne in with the tortoises, I thought everyone knew that smile

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 17:49:03

Oh thank heavens - I thought I'd have to deregister if it turned out Mnet was full of Tortoise killers. sad

Fab.....whilst I am wholly willing to give most things suggested on here a go I think I can certainly speak for myself and everyone else that Tortoise refrigeration will not be one of these things.

lazydog Mon 27-Feb-12 17:49:04

ViviPru - I don't imagine they like or dislike it as they are completely unaware or their surroundings when they are hibernating.

What Fabwoman said - you should NEVER hibernate a tortoise (regardless of what method you use) with any undigested food in their gut - that's tortoise keeping common knowledge.

stealthsquiggle Mon 27-Feb-12 17:53:05

I am imagining tortoises waking up in the spring and wondering why they were dreaming of white places full of champagne.

I have no desire to have a tortoise. Ever. I have a friend who has leopard tortoises (an ever increasing number of them, having started with 2, IYSWIM) and they sound like hard work (not least because they don't hibernate, in fridges or otherwise). I am determinedly not showing DS the pictures of cute baby tortoises because he would not take any notice of the fact that they live for ever and grow to be bloody enormous.

I don't even have a tortoise and I'm finding it all fascinating smile
Maybe I will now go and get tortoise

(remembers I have 3 children, a job, and 9 million cleaning things I never knew I had to do, then thinks of keeping tortoise in fridge and whether children would try and eat it and decides no tortoise, but I know how to hibernate them if it was to walk into my gardensmile)

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 17:55:14

<Googling "tortoises for sale">

May as well add one to me' installation


Might get rid of fish smell vivi?
The tortoise smell would prob. overpower the fish?

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 17:56:26

<<gently leads Viv away from Tortoise salepersons>>

lazydog Mon 27-Feb-12 17:59:44

stealthsquiggle "...(an ever increasing number of them, having started with 2, IYSWIM)..."

Oh do I ever... I have 7 at the moment but when I was fostering for the Tortoise Trust, the most I had at one time was 13!

"...and they sound like hard work..."

Much harder work than most people would realise because the hard work is involved in looking after them properly. If you're of an age to have seen the tortoises they kept on Blue Peter, they'd have you believe that they look after themselves sad

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 18:00:51


<buys more squid instead>

BokkleofSterra Mon 27-Feb-12 18:04:37

ViviPru cat litter on a tray for a stinky fridge. smile

stealthsquiggle Mon 27-Feb-12 18:16:15

lazydog - they have both the people-knowing-that-they-are-suckers-for-a-homeless-tortoise problem and the girl-tortoise-meets-boy-tortoise-and-gets-busy problem grin

lazydog Mon 27-Feb-12 18:26:04

stealthsquiggle - Ditto! grin

As an aside - I just looked at that "jokey" pic of the tortoises in the fridge and that's horrible sad Just in case anyone's interested, that is not what I meant... For starters, they all go in individual boxes, not directly on the shelves with their legs hanging through. If nothing else, it's vital to be able to tell which, if any, have urinated, as if they have done they need waking immediately and overwintering instead. They do not get shoved in the door compartments, or in with any food. You never mix species in the irresponsible fashion that they have for the sake of that photo (risk of disease transmission between the species, since some have evolved to carry pathogens with no symptoms that other tortoise species have no resistance to at all) and I can't ID them all from that photo, but I do know that the ones on the bottom/glass shelf don't even hibernate!!! sad

nomorecake Mon 27-Feb-12 18:27:37

easy way to clean micowave:

put a bowl of hot water with lemon slices in microwave,
give it 2mins on high.
wipe the interior.

easy way to cook basmati rice:

wash rice until water runs clear.
1 cup of water & 1 cup of rice & 0.5 tsp salt.
when the water boils, turn it down to the lowest heat.
put the lid on and leave for about 10mins (or until all water absorbed).
turn off heat.
tea towel stretched under the lid for 10 mins.
add butter and eat.

HTH someone!

Dandare Mon 27-Feb-12 18:34:39

Popped in to get some toiletting advice and have discovered the answers to two of my main problems - veet for the shower and am favouring the vanilla essence in the smelly Auxilliary Fridge - bargain!

And have been distracted out of my toilet dilemma - marvellous!

BalloonSlayer Mon 27-Feb-12 18:35:18

A cloth with WD40 on it gets all the scratches off our slate fireplace. I was told to do this by the bloke that installed it. It's like magic!

nomorecake Mon 27-Feb-12 18:35:52

oh and rubbing the inside of banana peel on shoes makes them shiney.

lazydog Mon 27-Feb-12 18:41:04

"oh and rubbing the inside of banana peel on shoes makes them shiney." but stink of bananas, surely? confused

Now I have to know, what toilet dilemma do you have?

StrangewaysHereICome Mon 27-Feb-12 18:45:41

Good lord I turn my back for a minute and you're all at it again. I will just add that I have done my maintenance wash today and dishwashered every bit of the cooker that comes off and scrubbed the inside with Oven Pride. I thought at least I could have a day off to relax in the glow of my new found house cleaning pride, but no you won't have it.

<frantically makes yet more notes and adds Veet to the shopping list alongside vinegar and soda crystals>

ClaretCake Mon 27-Feb-12 18:45:41

Posted these little gems earlier but they got lost in the abyss of 'chat' threads... hadn't seen this thread so thought I'd tag them on here... if I may...blush

• Squeaky doors stop squeaking when you rub a little bit of neat washing up liquid onto the hinges – better than smelly WD40 so especially good for bedroom doors.

• If you want your house to smell lovely and fresh, rub the radiators with a piece of wet kitchen towel that has been dabbed in fabric softener – very subtle and great for in between housework days!

• If you’ve still got any muslin squares that actually survived the baby years without being stained, they make great pressing cloths (dry or damp) for ironing stuff like school trousers and jumpers – stops the wool mix ones going shiny.

• Spiders are much easier to catch and dispatch if you zap them with hairspray – it sticks the hairs on their legs together and they then can’t run fast, enabling you to then squish them with whatever weapon is to hand. Another trick that works if you find a spider on the curtains is to cover the beast with a longish strip of packing tape – you don’t have to get too close but can then prod the tape covered spider and peel him off into the bin. I remember posting these spider tips last year but thought it worth another mention.

• Children’s hair conditioner makes a great substitute for shaving foam when you’re de-fuzzing your legs in the shower. No sting and nice soft skin!

whattodoo Mon 27-Feb-12 18:46:11

I mentioned the banana thing to DP. He showed mild disinterest.
I told him about red bras and within a milisecond he said "what if the t-shirt gets wet?"
Then he said "you're nunsnetting, aren't you?"

StrangewaysHereICome Mon 27-Feb-12 18:48:07

<jumps up and down> I knew the spider one, I did, I did, I did <smug>

whattodoo Mon 27-Feb-12 18:48:30

Mumsnetting, not nunsnetting. You knew what I meant.

StrangewaysHereICome Mon 27-Feb-12 18:49:36

grin @ nunsnet!

ClaretCake Mon 27-Feb-12 18:53:21

Jeez!!! I've got the cough from hell and have just nearly died of asphyxiation laughing/choking at 'nunsnet' !

Chandon Mon 27-Feb-12 18:56:08

hmm, don't like the spider one as it unnecessarily kills spider in a horrible way.

Me, I pay Ds1 one pound for the removal of a large spider grin (he hates any animal being killed or hurt, even insects, so he catches them very gently and releases in garden.)

Now there's a tip!

ClaretCake Mon 27-Feb-12 19:01:05

I know, sorry Chandon but we get the the scariest arachnid beasties here and they just look at you all defiant like... would happily pay your spiderman to come and remove them humanely but...

StrangewaysHereICome Mon 27-Feb-12 19:02:15

In my defence I only did the hairspray thing in my younger days when I lived in a flat overrun with fecking enormous spiders that no cup would contain. I do now escort them to the bottom of the garden in a cup or wash them down the plughole

ClaretCake Mon 27-Feb-12 19:07:12

Shudders at your bravery with the cup thing Strangeways

If our beasties stayed down the plughole I'd be happy but they don't... hmmm... maybe wash them down with veet; now there's an idea.

InsomniaQueen Mon 27-Feb-12 19:07:27

All these gems in one place - DH is soup mad so will have to give some of these a try!!!

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 19:16:02

Surely all the Veet would do is leave with less hirsute smooth spiders? grin although it least you'd see them glinting in the moonlight

YY to conditioner for leg shaving I do that

ApocalypseCheeseToastie has ensure I always use laundry liquid to clean my floors as its great on grease and smells lovely.

Oh and a drop of fabric conditioner in water is ideal to wipe over your hair straightener plates to clean them.

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 19:17:55

<Looks up from litter tray sculpture>

People clean hair straighteners? confused

BackforGood Mon 27-Feb-12 19:18:34

We have a alcohol spare fridge. Does this now mean I can earn a few bob on the side, letting it out to tortoises ?

<Still waiting for a magic oven cleaning trick......>

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 19:23:10

Gets off all the product build up Viv, if you're like my mum and use a litre of straightening spray at a time grin

SecretNutellaFix Mon 27-Feb-12 19:24:07

Wow- do not, I repeat DO NOT google "nunsnet" !!!!!

I didn't click the top result at least.

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 19:24:54

<fork out £50 and pay the professionals to clean it>

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 19:26:45

<<immediately googled>>

Interesting top tip, apparently porn with Nuns in is free of charge

Dandare Mon 27-Feb-12 19:33:06

Tantrums, my toilet dilemma is too childcare related boring to sully this thread with! Am now trying to make up toilet cleaning dilemma for form's sake....hmm

fabwoman Mon 27-Feb-12 19:36:34

Oven cleaning

Put 1 tablespoon of caustic soda into 500ml of hot water in a plastic bucket or large pyrex container. Put the soda into the water, not the water onto the soda. Wear thick ruber gloves and swab the inside of the oven with the mixture. Put some plastic down to protect the floor if you think you might drip onto it. Leave it until a small test patch wipes clean with a plastic saucepan scourer. The length of time is the most important bit, only a filthy oven will need a stronger solution of caustic.

When the caustic hs softened the dirt wipe it off with a plastic scourer and rinse the inside well. You really don't want residue caustic dripping on your food. Finally wipe the inside of the oven with 1 tablespoon of bicarb of soda in 1/2 pint of water. This will make the oven easier to clean next time.

- soak oven shelves overnight in water and washing up liquid and a good dash of bleach.
- sprinle salt immediately onto any spills, it might help to not burn so easily.

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 19:36:46

We can still help .... As long as it doesnt involve tortoises

I think we have quite a good knowledge of tortoises now honey smile

PercyFilth Mon 27-Feb-12 19:38:24

Here is the link for 2000+ uses for WD40


(I bet you all go straight to the 'On The Job' section) grin

best thread everevereverever.
not only stupidly funny but handy in a cut-out-and-keep way too!

my top tits!
* you can take the top rack OUTof the dishwasher so you can get huuuuuge things in
* cillit bang kills weeds
* cucumber in Gin&T is muuuuuch nicer than lemon

BackforGood Mon 27-Feb-12 19:40:06

Thanks Fabwoman - am preferring the caustic soda option to the idea of someone else seeing how bad I've let my oven become paying out £50



as you were

"oh my actual god"
I have found a mobile oven cleaning company in my area-I never knew!
£30 to clean my oven-seems pretty reasonable? hangs head in shame in realization I would pay way more than that so I don't have to do it
Have just called and booked for Thursday!

I don't care what they think of how I've left my oven, I have no pride!!

2 simple ones from me.

Always clean your bathroom when dreamy - so much easier.

Also all messy/crumby jobs should be done on the work surface above the DW - job done then swipe the dusty/crumby stuff straight into DW. Sorted. <<channels Ramsay> >

Sooo simple I'll bet you're kicking yourself.

? grin

Dreamy bathrooms?
I want one of those

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 20:12:34

Chaos your second tip is genius <<awe>>

What is a DW? <thick>

But then you have to unclog the dishwasher...ugh another job I hate sad

Aaaah I see, dont have one sad


ThisIsNotMyLife Mon 27-Feb-12 20:21:03

Scrambled egg burnt on pan? Neat bleach. Leave for ten minutes. Rinse.

I got quite excited when I discovered this.

ThePathanKhansWitch Mon 27-Feb-12 20:21:36

Just marking place, too tired to read the tips.

So far i got WD40 is good for oiling your clit.
And veet gets rid of sweetcorn in the plugholes.


dwpanxt Mon 27-Feb-12 20:23:01

Weeds growing out of paving cracks can be got rid of by pouring generous heaps of plain cheap salt onto each weed. Replenish if the rain washes the salt off too quickly. The weeds will turn brown and dry up .
By doing this last year Ive finally got rid of horribly tough grass that persisted for years despite all sorts of weed killer etc and now have weed free paving grin

Obviously this is not for an area where your prize thanks begonias thanks are flourishing.

FriggFRIGG Mon 27-Feb-12 20:29:21

<pokes head round door>

honey my ears were burning...watcha want eh?

FriggFRIGG Mon 27-Feb-12 20:32:00

I fort chaos was referring to her darling wife...I was going to suggest it was a bit mean...

Boomerwang Mon 27-Feb-12 20:38:28

After reading about the banana, I thought I'd see how many of you knew how to chop an apple in half using just your hands?

firstly, without the apple, put your hands together then move both sets of fingers down so that your palms stick out and you can see a heart shape in the gap between them, keeping your fingers touching. Now hold an apple in both hands and try to emulate that shape with your fingers meeting in the middle at the top of the apple and the heel(?) of your palms cuddling the bottom of the apple. Now use your thumbs to push the apple while your fingers pull the top of the apple apart. The movement will be facing away from you.

I found this trick great for kids who only take a few bites of a whole apple before discarding it, makes it a lot easier to eat smile

CamelKnees Mon 27-Feb-12 20:41:29

I am an amateur

Rushed off to put whiffy washing machine on a hot wash. Sat back down v smug to guffaw at this thread some more. Then remembered that I'd chucked DD's PJs and Muslims in there earlier. Now obvs going to be size of fricking borrower pjs...

Also just asked DH if he fancies a banana as I "want to try something". To which he responded "what? Put it up your bum?" WTF is wrong with him??? confused

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 20:41:39

<<Looks at Frigg>>

<<Remembers title>>

Humph... You're Late


I am buying fruit tomorrow solely to play with

smartiesrule Mon 27-Feb-12 20:43:04

Anyone else tying their arms in knots with the apple thing?

dearprudence Mon 27-Feb-12 20:52:20

I'm going to try the apple thing now...

Banana skin also gets rid of warts, btw.

White cotton that has become yellowed will wash beautifully white if you use a dishwasher tablet in the machine, then repeat wash with normal washing powder/liquid.

Fillybuster Mon 27-Feb-12 20:58:17

Oh dear...too many hours have passed....but what secret drawers in my washing machine and tumbledrier is glitterkitty referring to, waaaay down the thread?

Worried now <panics about secret drawers>

Off to catch up on thread....

I can't do the apple thing, will buy apples and bananas tomorrow and practice, such a shame no one in my house likes apples and bananas!
May have to make (several) apple crumble and banana bread!

Was telling my DH I had a wonderful way to open a banana, he looked at me like I was crazy then asked me if that was anything to do with sex, when I said no, he went back to his paper!
Why do men think bananas = sex? or is it just my perverted DH

Fillybuster, I would even go there, it took me a ridiculous amount of time and much advice from mn to get the detergent drawer out and I had to kick force it back in.
Just pretend you never read the drawer part, although the tumble drier one could possibly catch fire, may want to look for that one smile

PercyFilth Mon 27-Feb-12 21:04:26

Oven shelves and roasting dishes, grill pans & the like.

Get a heavy duty plastic binbag, put all your stuff inside then pour in a good splosh of ammonia and tie it up tight. Leave outside for 24 hours. Open up, taking great care not to get the fumes in your face. The burnt bits and grime should just fall away. Rinse the pans in cold water. (I find a big square plastic plant tray is good for these jobs.

And for greasy stuff. Place items in bowl or tray as above. Add washing soda, boiling water and a squirt of Stardrops

I found this by accident when cleaning a very greasy, filthy plastic extractor hood. The gunge literally fell off.

I'm scared of ammonia and things like that, last time I cleaned the oven a year ago a couple of months ago I wore a hoodie(with the hood up) 2 pairs of rubber gloves, a thing that covers your mouth( can't remember what that's really called!) and sunglasses....I was only using mr muscle oven cleaner as well, not actual radioactive material which might have got the dirt actually out of bottom of oven

CamelKnees Mon 27-Feb-12 21:11:06

Tantrums - v glad to know deviant DH is not completely alone in banana/sex association

(that's not a club btw)

(as far as I know....)

dearprudence Mon 27-Feb-12 21:11:50

I can't do the apple thing. I think my hands are too weak. sad

PercyFilth Mon 27-Feb-12 21:13:00

Ammonia's a worrying thing to work with indoors, but it's fine outside. Pair of gloves, keep your face out of it and make sure the bag's strong enough and well sealed.

Boomerwang Mon 27-Feb-12 21:13:16

lol @ camelknees throwing muslims in the washing machine... I'm dying to make a joke but I will hang myself out to dry (arf!) if I do.

Dandare Mon 27-Feb-12 21:13:45

Oh ffs now I am going to have to go and look for the blimmin 'it might catch fire' drawer....!

I bet there is a banana-sex club
(goes off to google it....)

CamelKnees Mon 27-Feb-12 21:19:20

<bloody buggery autocorrect>

CamelKnees Mon 27-Feb-12 21:20:40

Tantrums - let us know what you find! Wonder if they peel them (the MN way) first.....?

I love autocorrect, it makes these threads even more hilarious!

Boomerwang Mon 27-Feb-12 21:24:10

nope, nobody's hands are weak you just have to put the pressure in the right place.

take the stalk out first as well. Think of the way a rich tea breaks - if you break it with your thumbs it falls to bits, if you break it with your fingers together it breaks perfectly in half.

So, heel of your palms together, make the heart shape, do that to an apple, use fingers in the head of the apple to pull the top apart, heel of palms to use as something for your fingers to push the apple against and you don't even need to use your thumbs if you don't want to, but I do to help the outwards force. It breaks away from you, not facing you.

Dandare-MIGHT catch fire, if it does catch fire then worry about it, if it doesn't it's all good!!

I don't even want to discuss what google came up with for banana sex, it's really turned me right off of bananas, will never look at them in the same way again. (and didn't notice any peeling of bananas, mn or otherwise, they seem to "work better" unpeeled...ugh)

Will not be showing deviant DH, he doesn't need any encouragement

Boomerwang Mon 27-Feb-12 21:26:21


Although this guy holds the apple the other way around. His wasn't a nice perfectly halved apple though!

Boomerwang, when I saw you had posted a link I thought it was for banana-sex smile
Very glad it wasnt

Dandare Mon 27-Feb-12 21:28:45

Boomer ..'think of the way a rich tea breaks'....???

CamelKnees Mon 27-Feb-12 21:34:34

I still like bananas. Too scared to google.

This apple thing sounds like a right old fag - sorry Boomer!

I will be using a knife to cut my apples, sorry

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Mon 27-Feb-12 21:39:29

oooh, nice apple trick.

it has taken me years to work out that the smart thing to do with the oft-ignored packed lunch apple is to cut it into 9 segments round the core BUT not all the way down. am i explaining that correctly? leave it intact for a couple of cm at the bottom?

so it's together and doesn't go brown and dd1 enjoys snapping off each piece and eating it. i just get the core back now, which is a bit of a change as sometimes that little red bugger was just travelling back and forth until it went rotten.

BackforGood Mon 27-Feb-12 21:40:26

tantrum Boomerwang, when I saw you had posted a link I thought it was for banana-sex

.......... but you still looked grin


In RL I have an ok sense of humour. Sometimes I make people smile a bit and roll their eyes with little quips or comments.

But this thread has made me laugh So HARD IT HURTS and I realise I am never going to be able to compete in the MN Humour Stakes. Nothing I type will ever be as funny or nearly as interesting as some of you lot.

Halving apples with your bare hands, I ask you. A million uses for WD40 and laundry detergent. Tortoises, I loved the tortoise segue. Banana porn. Wow.

My ds2 once kept an orange in his bag for 3 weeks, it was disgusting....he's 13 btw not 5 as you would be forgiven for thinking.

boomerang thanks for the link, I wasn't sure if I was picturing it correctly.

I looked...of course I looked, it was me who googled the blasted banana porn in the first bloody place.....it wasn't pretty

Somersaults Mon 27-Feb-12 21:45:44

So many tips on here. And much hilarity. Honey and Viv you are fast becoming two of my fav posters on MN solely due to the Prospero crossover.

Marking place to get more advice that I will never actually use other than to say to DH "there's a better way to do that you know".

You don't have to use it, just roll it out to other people when they ask the best way to clean oven,washing machine, refrigerate a tortoise etc
Makes you sound line a perfect housewife, when really your secret drawer in the tumble drier is on fire, your tortoise is drinking your champagne and you have an art installation in your booze fridge which still smells like squid. and you are watching online banana porn

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 22:04:21

HeartsTrumpDiamonds But the nice thing about MN is it's not the individuals it's the whole, that make the humour smile

You'l pick up some great tips too grin

PMSL ^best way to clean oven,washing machine, refrigerate a tortoise etc
Makes you sound line a perfect housewife^ grin grin

CamelKnees Mon 27-Feb-12 22:13:07

Aaaaaaand best post officially goes to...... tantrums! Your little précis of the whole thread has actually made me cry laughing. Not as in "it's a saying" but there are Tears. Running. Down. My. Face.

I am learning SO much from this thread.

But most of all, that tantrums summary of this thread needs to become the Mumsnet advert.

Camelknees I've been crying with laughter ever since I started reading this thread, who would have thought so much joy would come from a recipie for chicken and sweet corn soup??

SmileItsSunny Mon 27-Feb-12 22:20:35

Hilarious. Am just thankful that Friday's urge to clean the washing machine had subsided... Although now I feel the urge to go online shopping for stardrops. But not tortoises - who knew they were so much work?

CamelKnees Mon 27-Feb-12 22:24:04

Have just been surfing 'most active' and posted a very serious message on a very serious thread. Only to come back, read that little summary and PMSL again.

It needs to be pinned up somewhere. Instant smiles.

Oooh dragon's den moment -Maybe it should become one of those smarmy little framed sayings like Keep Clam and Carry On. People can have it on cotton totes and mugs.....

Somersaults Mon 27-Feb-12 22:25:53

DH can't understand why I sit on my phone/computer laughing so often since I found MN and it's people like all of you guys who give me some of the best laughs I've had in ages. I love this thread!

What are the requirements for moving a thread to Classics??

And we can paint it on the back of the tortoises as wellsmile

Oh this whole thread should be required reading for anyone having a bad day, it's really cheered up my day. I only came on here to find out how to clean my mouldy washing machine drawer smile smile

moonbells Mon 27-Feb-12 22:34:48

Everyone else in my house is asleep and I am desperately trying to stifle my laughter so I don't wake them!

ViviPru Mon 27-Feb-12 22:38:20

<Dashes wide-eyed into thread (pausing briefly for a quick read - weeping @ tantrums, big grin @ somersaults and confused @ Boomer & her apple slicing freaky fingers) wheezes, pants, composes self>

Guys! GUYS! It's only bloody gone and worked! The interpretive refrigerator installation art has WORKED! Granted, the fridge now has the aroma of a heady blend of disparate household items, but better that than the fishy fishy that's plagued us for weeks. You are wonderful, knowledgeable geniuses each and every one. Thank you.

Tracy Emin eat your heart out smile

<Dashes off to lovingly tuck ciders & Nobilo up in their reclaimed chilly bed. Nighty night, my fruity lovelies>

Somersaults Mon 27-Feb-12 22:38:29

I am actually crying laughing whilst trying to explain this thread to DH. How do you explain how washing machines, tortoises, soup, champagne, banana porn, and cat litter in a fridge go together and why it's so funny? DH is laughing but I think he's just laughing at me because I can barely speak I'm laughing so hard. My tummy hurts and there are tears running down my face. This is the funniest thread but trust me it gets even funnier when you're trying to explain it to someone else and you start by reading out tantrum's précis.

slowburner Mon 27-Feb-12 22:39:37

After a tedious day this has had me in stitches.

*I presume you all know about the correct way to open a banana?

Yup, spray onto a soft cloth and wipe away*

Is my favourite cross post.

I've been on this thread literally all day ( in between kicking the washing machine, breaking the fridge and watching the banana porn) I really have to go to sleep now sad

Thank you lovely mnetters who have made me literally pmsl smile
No doubt there will be more jokes tomorrow, I will have to try and hide my laughter as I will be at work, but please keep it coming smile smile smile

(hugs and kisses)

Vivipru, I'm so happy the squid has gone!!
It must have been the saucer of paint and the chopped onion!!

Just make sure you leave some space for the tortoises next to the cider smile

I knew the onion would work! grin

I don't know, all this information and entertainment, and it all started with soup! smile

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 22:47:22

Well done Viv! grin

I think we need HQ to make Tantrums "Quote of the Week"

PestoPenguin Mon 27-Feb-12 22:48:12

<weeping at the photos of Viv's fridge>

Can anyone help me with a stinky fridge? It has smelled of rotten eggs for 9 months. It has a stupid pushy uppy plug thing with a lever by the tap. We have scrubbed with toothbrushes and poured every cleaning chemical known to man down there. In desperation DH changed the u bend and overflow pipe for new ones and hurrah! It was fixed grin For two full weeks and then the smell returned anew sad.

It's bad enough puking every morning with the morning sickness, but having to do it in a bathroom with a sink that smells of sulphur is the last straw.

<considers pushing cat litter down overflow>

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 22:50:01

I'm confused you are puking in your fridge in the bathroom?

PestoPenguin Mon 27-Feb-12 22:50:28

stinky sink

Head. Desk.


Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 22:52:04

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand suddenly it all makes sense grin

<<excuses Pesto on basis of hormones>>

littlemisssarcastic Mon 27-Feb-12 22:53:55

Have now had to eat a banana just to see if it really is as easy as you say.

Amazing!!!! Why is this not common knowledge?? It has got to be the easiest way to open a banana. I can't believe I have only just been told this.

Now I want to open another one, just to check it wasn't fluke, but I really don't want to eat another banana.

Is it more difficult with less ripe bananas?

Will be showing DD first thing in the morning. grin

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 22:55:02

have you cleaned the trap out under the sink when replacing the pipes?

or does it only smell when the waters running?

Somersaults Mon 27-Feb-12 22:58:18

@littlemiss why not make a banana milkshake?!

thegreylady Mon 27-Feb-12 22:59:50

How do you make profiteroles please?

PestoPenguin Mon 27-Feb-12 23:00:43

It only smells after some water has run, although it only needs to be a few drops. Is this significant?

Trap etc all cleaned repeatedly sad.

It's stupid. t was here hwen we moved in and is part of an integral worksurface thing, so no doubt v expensive, but just useless! You can't even run the hot tap full blast when the plug is in because the lever thingy gets in the way hmm.

<ever hopeful of sink gurus>

PestoPenguin Mon 27-Feb-12 23:01:51


Or just buy them grin

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 23:05:49

Is not the pipes or tank then? It's normally not good if it's with the water running. Hopefully some clever plumber bid will be here soon.

Maryz Mon 27-Feb-12 23:06:45

ffs, i have just seen this thread and haven't time to read it now.

But I hope to God it's still here in the morning, as chicken and sweetcorn soup is a ridiculous price (and rather good).

Somersaults Mon 27-Feb-12 23:17:54

Oh Maryz you are in for a treat.

SecretNutellaFix Mon 27-Feb-12 23:18:35

sounds like it's your tap/ the pipe that supplies it. sad

littlemisssarcastic Mon 27-Feb-12 23:19:35

Somersaults I have no idea how to make a banana milkshake and I only have one banana left now.

Somersaults Mon 27-Feb-12 23:21:28

I don't know how to make a banana milkshake either! I'd cut up the banana, add some milk and a scoop of ice cream and then mush it all together with a stick blender.

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 23:22:26

Banana + Milk + Blender = Banana MilkshAke

SecretNutellaFix Mon 27-Feb-12 23:23:31

uurrgh, banana milkshake!!!!

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 23:24:16

Tell you what Somersaults, I'll post my Banana Fizz drink on the Pussies thread tomorrow .... Even more exciting than a shake grin

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 23:25:29

Nutty agreed, but I still drank one before bed every night when pg prevents leg cramps and indigestion!

SecretNutellaFix Mon 27-Feb-12 23:28:00

reminds me of the miserable school dinners from primary school where it would be slightly warm and served with a shortbread biscuit. It was usually strawberry milkshake, banana maybe once a term. You knew when you were having milkshake and biscuit for pudding, as you weren't allowed any water on the table to drink during the meal.


Jux Mon 27-Feb-12 23:28:54

Veet? Plugholes? I shall inform dh. grin

PestoPenguin Mon 27-Feb-12 23:30:53

Thanks Honey. The water is absolutely fine. It is definitely the sink itself.

banana milkshake <boak>

PBandJSandwiches Mon 27-Feb-12 23:32:20

I just opened a banana. Huh. Brilliant!

PBandJSandwiches Mon 27-Feb-12 23:33:48

I mean, the way it was described here. Obviously I have opened a banana before!

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 23:35:26

Nutty -eurgh, I'd forgotten the warm milk

Honeydragon Mon 27-Feb-12 23:36:29

Pesto - regular plunging? Drain cleaner?

LittleTyga Mon 27-Feb-12 23:49:23

I can't find the banana thing - is it the one where it's opened the other end?

Also baby oil stops squeaking door hinges!

Somersaults Mon 27-Feb-12 23:49:54

Would be interested in banana fizz for DH but I can't stand bananas myself. They make me heave. I'm an infant teacher and if the fruit is bananas I have to send the kids that can't open them to my TA because I can't touch them. I can now describe to them how to easily open them by themselves - thank you MN!

Honey you don't have a strawberry fuzz recipe instead do you?!

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Tue 28-Feb-12 00:04:59

i think the stinky bathroom is bad drains...

MummyAbroad Tue 28-Feb-12 00:29:50

If you liked the banana thing you might like to know how to tie your shoe laces properly...


kickassangel Tue 28-Feb-12 04:05:58

pesto is it only the one sink in the house? do you know if it's the last one before going out to the drains?

you may need to make dh head into the drains & see if there's a blockage there. how much drain do you have running through the garden before it leaves the property & goes out to the road? hate to tell you, but you're responsible for it!

OR you may have high iron in your water, but that would affect all of it, except that the last tap/sink on the system would smell the worst. if it's that you need to chlorinate it.

sorry, no humour here, just more knowledge about stinky drains than I wish I knew.

Jacksmania Tue 28-Feb-12 06:19:40

<weeps at tortoises in fridge and banana porn>
Trying so hard not to wake DH and DS laughing!

Thread. Must. Become. A. Classic.

Byeckerslike Tue 28-Feb-12 07:37:14

The shoelace thing is excellent!

Honeydragon Tue 28-Feb-12 07:54:57

Knew we'd have a smelly drain expert along, good show KickAss smile

FriggFRIGG Tue 28-Feb-12 08:35:02

What's e thing with the banana?
I'm eating one right now....I can't read the whole thread right now to find out....but I'm dying to know,before I Finnish said banana

<chimps slowly>

FriggFRIGG Tue 28-Feb-12 08:35:47


<ChOmps slowly>

<drinks more coffee>

FriggFRIGG Tue 28-Feb-12 08:36:39

Ergh, finish not Finnish.

Blardy iPad,it's all your fault.

stealthsquiggle Tue 28-Feb-12 08:51:32

I share Kickass's reluctantly acquired drain knowledge. If said sink is close to where drains leave the house, it is time to find your manhole cover. In our house, stinkiness and 'popping' from the kitchen sink = septic tank blocked again and time for DH to get out the drain rods (yukky stuff inside house - my job; yukky stuff outside - DH's job)

Honeydragon Tue 28-Feb-12 08:55:07

Frigg Pinch bottom of banana top of banana opens by magic. Coffee & a banana? Are you constipated? grin

Frigg, then when you have mastered that, you can move on to halving an apple with just your hands smile

CuttedUpPear Tue 28-Feb-12 09:09:11

Veet? Plughole?
How much to use?

<so obvious when you think about it>

fabwoman Tue 28-Feb-12 09:19:55

Just put washer on to do maintenance wash as it stinks of mud. Is it just a case of empty machine (no detergent) on the highest temp please?

MeeWhoo Tue 28-Feb-12 09:34:45

Pesto, just in case it's not the septic tank, does it happen when you use hot water? I get this in the summer and I live in a third floor flat, you may want to try always running some cold water down the drain after the hot tap has been on. Also, lemon juice is good down the drains,
Iif this is the kitchen sink, you can keep half a lemon next to it to rub on your hands after handling smelly items such as garlic, onion, fish, and not only will it get rid of the smell, but leave your hands nice and soft AND helps lessen age spots not that I have any

Tinwe Tue 28-Feb-12 09:41:10

Enjoying this thread! Have already cleaned my microwave, washed my mashing machine and refridgerated my tortoise. Now awaiting delivery of apples and bananas to practice fruit serving skills grin

One thing though, have also ordered soda crystals as recommended for most things. Is it the same as caustic soda? There's lots of soda about it seems and I need to do my oven...

Tinwe Tue 28-Feb-12 09:59:41

Oh yes, here's a tricky question I've been dying to get an answer to... anyone know how to get mould stains out of cream coloured curtains? We used to live in a horrible, cold, damp house in the country and used curtains behind the single glazed front door/glass surround to try to keep some heat in. The bottom of the curtains got mouldy blush cos I didn't take them up and let them drag on the wet floor but they're otherwise good curtains we could use elsewhere.

Fabwoman, yes, empty machine NO DETERGENT I put washing powder in, forgetting I wasn't actually doing any washing

Tinwe, im just going to say one thing MOBILE OVEN CLEANER MAN
I know nothing and don't want to know anything about oven cleaning, caustic soda ( that sounds quite scary)
Have booked oven cleaning man for Thursday, will let him in and then run out of door to work so I don't have to feel embarrassed about state of oven smile

FriggFRIGG Tue 28-Feb-12 10:19:01

That's amazing! shock

The oven cleaning man? Too right it's amazing!!
£30 to clean my nasty oven!
I wouldn't clean it for £30!

MeeWhoo Tue 28-Feb-12 10:51:35

Oh, and about the oven, I've just remembered the cleaners at our Uni flats used to cover the bottom of the oven in foil and then change it every week. I guess you still have to clean to the walls but if something leaks then you won't have to spend hours scrubbing it, just replace the foil

DonkeyTeapot Tue 28-Feb-12 11:07:14

I have just broken an apple in two, with my bare hands! Amazing! (Although I did have to wrestle with it for a bit and then find it on Youtube.) I'm going to try a banana later. Any more suggestions for new ways to open fruit? This has me well on my way to five a day!

Honeydragon Tue 28-Feb-12 11:19:54

Frigg.....are you ready to move on to tortoise refrigeration and banana porn yet grin

It's not for the faint hearted frigg smile

Mibby Tue 28-Feb-12 11:23:37

Great thread smile just doing my first washing machine 'wash'

<Wonders if hibernating tortoises in fridge idea would work with hedgehogs too?>

....googling that now (wondering if I could possibly pass that off as work if anyone notices)

TreacleSoda Tue 28-Feb-12 11:26:07

Have been reading this thread with interest , and much mirth!

Tinwe never fear. Soda crystals are non scary, I use them a lot, great at getting grease off things.

Caustic soda is very scary, and I fear taking the flesh off my hands with it unless wearing multiple pairs of rubber gloves. Have vision of cartoon style flesh burning and then being left with bare bones on the end of my arms....

Honeydragon Tue 28-Feb-12 11:26:16

Well at least with Hedgehogs you'd ahve somewhere to keep your cheese and pineapple

messymammy Tue 28-Feb-12 11:36:14

camelknees your post from 22.24 last night just made me snort coffee out my nose. Keep clam!!!!!
This thread must go to classics, but I still can't understand why you use veet instead of bleach on your plug holes. I do understand why you use the veet, of course I do,just a bottle of bleach is about 85c so must be even cheaper in sterling...
Can't wait to tearan apple apart in front of dd and confirm that I am in fact a super hero!

TreacleSoda Tue 28-Feb-12 11:38:13

there is another thread in chat this morning asking if its ok to buy a fridge from a charity shop. Do you think someone should nip over and warn the OP that although its fine, she should be sure to check for tortoises when she gets it home?

Or hedgehogs, paint, chopped onions, smell of squid .....

Instead of a Dossil, take a used wash puff (those body wash thingies made out of plastic netting). Cut into 6-8 pieces (depending on the size of your plughole - fnarr). Put a piece in the plughole. Replace every few days, throwing out old one with the hair on it.

So you don't even have to clean anything, just throw out the plastic netting and hair every so often.

I think Keep Clam and Carry On should be a fridge magnet for the fishy fridge...

x-post messymammy grin

FriggFRIGG Tue 28-Feb-12 11:53:18

<shakes head>

No,no,I'm not ready....I'm to ill


messymammy Tue 28-Feb-12 12:00:19

I'm actually still laughing out loud at keep clam. Phew

lesley33 Tue 28-Feb-12 12:06:47

Can you help?
How do I get my nets clean? Have some in window overlooking street. I washed wondows at weekend and realised how filthy nets were. I have handwashed them and then soaked them in bleach, but some areas still look pretty awaful.

And DP uses ensuit bathroom so I left it to DP to clean. Unfortunately DP doesn't clean often enough or well enough and the chrome bar in the shower now has bits of limescale on it and seems to have small black pits in it - I think the limescale has eaten away at the chrome? Any ideas?

PestoPenguin Tue 28-Feb-12 12:15:12

Thank you drain experts grin

It is the hand sink in the upstairs bathroom. I'd be surprised if it's the last one that leaves the house, but will ask DH to check. It's any water (hot or cold that causes it to smell, but the water itself is fine. The plughole in the bath in the same room doesn't stink. Plunging has no effect sadly,nor pouring drain cleaner down it. DH has some theory about the angle of the overflow pipe... I smiled and nodded hmm.

It is truely vile.

Honeydragon Tue 28-Feb-12 12:46:15

Re Net curtains someone up ^^^^^ tread said that a dishwasher tablet in with he washing machines cleans yellowed cotton. Might be worth a try?

Let that be a lesson to you lesley33, once you clean 1 thing then everything else looks dirty. Better off not cleaning anything....

Tinwe Tue 28-Feb-12 13:19:55

Thanks treacle, will have to explore what I can do with soda crystals - would they help my mouldy curtains do you think?
Bought some special oven cleaner to do the oven... wish me luck!

whattodoo Tue 28-Feb-12 13:20:14

Anyone git any top tips for peeling oranges? I avoid them like the plague because I can't stand the sticky mess. But i now need some orange peel to deter cats 'messing' in my garden. Apparently.

Boomerwang Tue 28-Feb-12 13:22:30

Use a cocktail stick to drip vegetable oil into the middle of a hamster wheel and it won't squeak anymore when the hamster has a run.

Tinwe Tue 28-Feb-12 13:23:44

tantrums sure DH will believe we can't afford an oven cleaner man... to be fair he wouldn't expect me to do it either, he's just a "shut the door and ignore the smoke alarm" type of guy

Boomerwang Tue 28-Feb-12 13:24:53

whattodoo you can buy orange peelers from shops which have a large range of kitchen utensils.

Alternatively - and this worked for me - fill a clear plastic bottle (500ml size) with water and leave it in the areas where they poop. It IS that simple. Must be something to do with their movements being reflected and scaring them.

Only £30 tho, I would have paid much more ;(

Boomerwang Tue 28-Feb-12 13:30:41

As for oven cleaning, I always keep a baking sheet at the bottom of the oven to catch any drips as it's far easier to remove that and wash it (or even replace it if you prefer) than to get on your hands and knees and scrub.

Kleeneze sell an oven cleaner spray which doesn't give off fumes and it works very well. I used it at work but I'll be honest and say the oven was cleaned regularly there. You could also use it on stubborn hob stains and the grille over the filter (take it off first obviously) just spray it on and leave it outside for 10-15 minutes then wash it off, spray on more and scrub it off with one of those dishwashing brushes.

Byeckerslike Tue 28-Feb-12 13:32:31

TPKW last night at 20.21... Wd40 is good for oiling your clit shock typo surely!? grin

Well, it's not on the list of 200 things to do with wd40-yet......

AnnaBegins Tue 28-Feb-12 13:46:35

My banana didn't work sad

AnnaBegins Tue 28-Feb-12 13:46:35

My banana didn't work sad

AnnaBegins Tue 28-Feb-12 13:46:36

My banana didn't work sad

fabwoman Tue 28-Feb-12 13:46:37

Thank you tantrums. There was a lot of soap suds in the machine when it was going confused.

Byeckerslike Tue 28-Feb-12 13:48:33

annabegins, why not? Mine worked yesterday, but it was quite ripe...

The apple ripping on the other hand <weak> sad

AnnaBegins Tue 28-Feb-12 13:50:31

(Obviously it was so traumatic I managed to post 3 times...)

Ahh Byeckers , my banana was a greenish one, that might be the problem! Shall have to leave them to go soft and have another go.

This is definitely the way to get your 5 a day smile

Oh ladies you certainly know how to make me smile, been giggling at this thread in between doing that pesky thing called work! grin

I dont have anything smelly or mouldy and i dont keep tortoisers(sp) in my fridge, hate bananas though have passed on advice re opening one to the delights of my colleagues, will try the veet later but not the banana porn!, oh as for hamster wheels fry light works brilliantly with less mess.

Byeckerslike Tue 28-Feb-12 13:54:43

Chocolategirl... You are frying your hamster? shock wink

This thread gets worse!

Honeydragon Tue 28-Feb-12 14:00:43

Mumsnet. Good with cleaning. Bad with pets.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Tue 28-Feb-12 14:02:38

yes honeydragon wasn't there a dog in the fridge thread not all that long ago too.... a theme is emerging, <wonders about hamsters>

Honeydragon Tue 28-Feb-12 14:03:44

Oh yeah, AIBU to hide my dog in the fridge 'cos the land lord was coming - comedy gold grin

stealthsquiggle Tue 28-Feb-12 14:05:49

You know all those "what would you tell you X yo self.." threads?

Well, right now, I would tell my 19yo self that whilst making those beanbag cushions for your college room is a genius idea, and that she will treasure them for years and have many happy memories of various people falling asleep on using them, 23 years later she will be cursing the decision not to put in a zip (yes, I know she couldn't afford one at the time) as when the geriatric cat pees all over one of them it will cost £7 and two trips to town to get it washed because it won't fit in the machine.

I cannot quite believe that I haven't washed them for 23 years - but if I had, I would surely remember how - wouldn't I confused?

Byeckerslike Tue 28-Feb-12 14:06:59

Well this is probably well known but it is possible to unshrink wool...

I shrunk DHs merino wool jumper yesterday DS(3) nearly inherited it! as it was in amongst a load of washing and i washed and tumble dried it his fault im maintaining

Soak in a bath of cold water with a squirt of hair conditioner for half an hour, then gently pull and tease it back to shape. Squeeze out excess water and then either lay flat with a towel underneath, or hang on a well fitting hanger (to avoid shoulder spikes) to dry.

Worked a treat smile

GrimmaTheNome Tue 28-Feb-12 14:07:19

whattodo - if you want the peel for deterring cats, why not squeeze the oranges rather than peeling. You might even find the half-skins double up as slug traps.

Fab woman- the bubbles is all the leftover crap from not cleaning the washing machine
There was LOADS in mine

whattodoo Tue 28-Feb-12 14:10:38

My banana didn't work. It was pretty ripe, was wondering if I should try it with a greener one, but from posts above it seems not.

Will try the bottle of water with the cat thing though.

And hunt out an orange peeler gizmo thingy.

I've never put an animal in the fridge. Many moons ago I did that trick about keeping your make up in the fridge to keep the eye/lip pencils sharp. Then I forgot where I'd put my make up and ended up having to go to work naked! Never again, I keep my make up in the car now.

Ooh I know the make up one (jumps up and down with happiness at something I actually have heard of)

Clearly housework is not my strong point but at least I know that you have to keep your eye make up cold (along with tortoise/blossom hill )

Will now hide in this thread until someone tells me the best way to get a streak free mirror prob will never do it but nice to know

unshrink wool?
What, actually UNSHRINK?? Get it back to normal size??

Oh my actual days why did I not know that one ( thinks sadly of all the lovely jumpers DS1 had which would now only fit the borrower family )

GrimmaTheNome Tue 28-Feb-12 14:20:48

>a streak free mirror
get rid of major dirt any way you want. Rinse with plain water, dry a bit and then polish with e-cloth. Once you've done this just water spray and e-cloth will do it.

You do have e-cloths don't you? grin

TreacleSoda Tue 28-Feb-12 14:20:50

Newspaper, Tantrums, newspapers. <nods knowingly>

you crumple up two pieces of newspaper, you wet one, scrub the mirror, then buff it dry with the, er, dry one. Streak free mirrors are yours.

GrimmaTheNome Tue 28-Feb-12 14:22:02

Newspapers may clean mirrors but they leave your hands filthy. Really, e-cloth!

Not only do I not have an e cloth, I have no idea what the fuck an e cloth is, EXPLAIN PLEASE (begging, I need to know.....)

whattodoo Tue 28-Feb-12 14:23:44

e cloths. I think I have some. But don't really know what their magic powers are supposed to be and how best to use them - please fill me in.

Honeydragon Tue 28-Feb-12 14:24:27


Did you go in naked to distract people from the fact you weren't wearing any make up? <innocent face> grin

I shall try that next time I run out mascara, I'll Veet my plughole first though so as to be tidy before I go.

Byeckerslike Tue 28-Feb-12 14:31:15

ecloths best. invention. Ever.

TreacleSoda Tue 28-Feb-12 14:31:35

Grimma has a point about e cloths being much cleaner than newspapers, she is right about that. But honestly, the newspapers work a treat grin

E cloths are excellent at cleaning your glass and stainless steel without leaving streaks, but I hate the feel of them. They seem to make this horrible crackly static-y sound on my hands, as if they are catching on dry skin <shudders>

I still use them though, but on reading that back, I suppose I should just invest in rubber gloves.....

LackaDAISYcal Tue 28-Feb-12 14:31:56

This needs to be moved out of chat to stop it from disappearing down its own <hair free and sweet smelling> plughole!


Byeckerslike Tue 28-Feb-12 14:31:59

Tantrums... Tis true <nods>

Quenelle Tue 28-Feb-12 14:32:59

What's the bottle of water with cat thing please?

Ecloths eclloths ????????

Sorry didn't read the thread again

whattodoo Tue 28-Feb-12 14:38:55

Oh shit. I didn't actually go to work naked. I meant my face was naked (bare).

I think that if I'd gone to work naked, I'd have far bigger problems to solve than any of you here could help me with.

I'm off to Lakeland for orange peelers, e-cloths, water bottles and red bra/white t shirt combo.

GrimmaTheNome Tue 28-Feb-12 14:39:57

>What's the bottle of water with cat thing please?
RTFT.... if I had cats crapping in my garden, rather than littering their favourite bog spots with 500ml clear bottles of water, I'd keep a water-filled fairy bottle (original style prob works best, I've still got some from that competition) by the back door to use as a supersoaker to teach the feckers a lesson.

RalphGnu Tue 28-Feb-12 15:06:14

Mumsnet. Good with cleaning. Bad with pets.

grin grin grin

Well so far we have had refrigerated tortoises, cats being terrorized with water, hamsters being fried......let's not get started on what we do to the children smile

And if this is a "good with cleaning" thread I have no place on here smile smile smile
Please don't make me leave ......

dizzy77 Tue 28-Feb-12 15:32:31

Oooh tesco's (etc, I assume) do cheap ecloths, microfibre cloths they are called. Not quite as thick/high quality as the lakeland ones (as if they would be) but perfectly effective. Don't get the white value ones, but the pair in a purple/lemon shade, think it's about £1 for 2.

CuttedUpPear Tue 28-Feb-12 15:35:23

You realise don't you all, that this thread is storing up trouble for us with future trolls?

The next time anyone wants to post a suspect thread, they will just refer to
Hairy plug hole
Tortoise fridge
Banana opening
Sweetcorn Veet

To identify themselves as bona fide......

Shutupanddrive Tue 28-Feb-12 15:47:06

I love this thread!
Only got to page 4, I have to stop now to go and put beet down my hairy plug hole and pull out my mouldy washing machine drawer. Will be back later for more!! grin

Somersaults Tue 28-Feb-12 15:47:11

Never has there been a thread more in need of a 'like' button!

Shutupanddrive Tue 28-Feb-12 15:47:38

Veet!!! Not beet confused

Leave the washing machine drawer read the thread!!

nomorecake Tue 28-Feb-12 16:20:13

i'm sure i read oven cleaning tip on MN this week:

dissolve DW tablet in boiling water
leave a tea towel/kitchen roll to soak
lay the tea towel on the inside of greasey door
after an hour, wipe.

i Haven't tried it yet though!

and apparently soaking a clothes in water and a splash of white vinegar gets rid of stale sweat smells. haven't needed to do this one either, yet. But stored it in the memory banks!

Yep, I read that oven cleaning tip and then promptly ignored it and called the oven cleaning man
Am buying e cloths on way home from work tho smile

Shutupanddrive Tue 28-Feb-12 16:32:51

I didn't bother with machine machine drawer!
The only one that I know, that I learnt on MN is:

When you are sitting in driving seat of your car the petrol gauge is on the same side of the steering wheel as it is on the outside of your car. So if not not sure which side you need to get close enough to the pump to fill up have a look down and see which side the gauge is on.

As I was about to drive off in my new (to me) car, the lady in the garage said 'oh by the way, the petrol gauge is on the right', I said yes I know as its to the right of the steering wheel. She said she was going to check on all the other cars as she never knew that! grin drove off all smug

stealthsquiggle Tue 28-Feb-12 16:34:52

Lakeland sell bras now confused?

stealthsquiggle Tue 28-Feb-12 16:36:51

Grimma - DH found an actual supersoaker, filled with oily water (vegetable oil, nothing noxious) to be the most effective cat deterrent when the neighbourhood cats were coming through our cat flap and spraying all over the place.

TreacleSoda Tue 28-Feb-12 16:42:57

Shutupanddrive someone told me that one too! So I was all smug going to fill up DHs car, thinking I knew what side it was on. I was wrong - seems it doesn't apply to his car grin

Byeckerslike Tue 28-Feb-12 16:52:41

Shutup, yes apparently it doesnt apply to all cars! I did the same as treacle! sad

stealthsquiggle Tue 28-Feb-12 16:59:28

there is also, on a lot of cars but by no means all, a little arrow by the petrol symbol on the dashboard which points to the side where the filler cap is. I had the pointed out to me after stopping to get out and check on a hire car...blush

fabwoman Tue 28-Feb-12 17:06:17

Okay okay, hang on right there. Last week, or maybe the week before, I put a clean your machine tablet in. Why did I get so many soap suds today if it was recently cleaned?

fabwoman Tue 28-Feb-12 17:09:35

My steering wheel is on the right.
My diesel hole thingy is on the right.
My fuel gauge is on the left.


Cos it didn't work? smile

Apparently the hot wash cleans out all the crap inside the machine, it only works if it's hot and empty, although don't ask me cos I've had several washing machines and in 14 years had never heard of a blasted maintenance wash til I read about it on mn smile

Never heard of clean my machine tablets either

Actually this seems to be a recurring theme in this thread, someone mentions a cleaning tip or product and I promptly reply "never heard of it"

What a state my house must be, I always thought it was sort of quite clean

And the fuel gauge, steering wheel theory doesn't apply to my car either sad

RalphGnu Tue 28-Feb-12 17:25:14

If you have a toddler who likes to crayon on walls, televisions everything that stands still WD40 is ace at getting it off.

RalphGnu Tue 28-Feb-12 17:26:05

Also, baby talc is great for getting sand off wet legs at the beach.

Quenelle Tue 28-Feb-12 17:29:08

Thanks GrimmatheNome that sounds much kinder than what my DH had planned for the local cat population.

Stealthsquiggle why do you put oil in the water?

Byeckerslike Tue 28-Feb-12 17:34:42

Well bugger me! I bought some dishwasher cleaning stuff from aldi this morning, ran the first ever cleaning wash on it (disclaimer it was fitted not 6 months ago) i can see my bloody face in it!

<pats self on back>

ripsishere Tue 28-Feb-12 17:41:04

Here's a proper driving one.
If you can see the tyres of the car in front of you, you'll be able to pull out and around it in one manoevre.
Brought to you by the bus drivers of Dicks base.

GrimmaTheNome Tue 28-Feb-12 17:46:27

Stealth... actually, I do have a loaded (just water) supersoaker by my backdoor. An occasional murdering bastard cat occasionally comes into the garden and sits right under the bird table. Last time (quite a long time ago now grin) I crept up on it (cat engrossed watching birds), got a direct hit and then chased it off like Rambo, followed by my madly barking dog who'd just caught on.

stealthsquiggle Tue 28-Feb-12 17:48:53

Quenelle - DH's theory was that if nasty bully cat has to spend ages cleaning oil off itself, the "don't go in through that cat flap, there is a scary madman in there" lesson would last longer.

I have no idea if there is any science behind that at all whatsoever.

GrimmaTheNome Tue 28-Feb-12 17:50:50

DW tabs for oven cleaning? Why not. Biological detergent is good for cleaning all sorts of things too. Another use for DW tabs is if you've a 'spa' bath - fill with hot water, bung in a few tabs, turn it on to circulate. Obv refill with clean water a couple of times to rinse.

I don't need to do this now, the bath with jets is the ensuite which is full of canoe, buoyancy aids and - as of today - DHs bulk buy and nowhere else dog and mouseproof to put it, 12kg of dry dog food hmm

Somersaults Tue 28-Feb-12 18:01:26

OK I've been kind of ignoring the washing machine maintenance/cleaning cycle posts until now in a kind of 'lalalalala hands over ears' way but I'm going to have to go and do it. And the dishwasher. And I've looked up the costs of an oven cleaning man online but seeing as though I spent nearly ten quid on some sort of all singing all dancing magical oven cleaning stuff from Lakeland (with good intentions that have never quite come to fruition) I don't think DH would be too impressed at me then spending money on having someone come and do it for me.

Although I am on mat leave and home all day so he could come and go without DH knowing... he'd come home to a sparkling oven and I could be sitting there with rubber gloves on looking exhausted...

SusiaX Tue 28-Feb-12 18:18:14

If Pesto is still around, I could have written your post. Not long after we moved into our house the sink in the bathroom started doing exactly the same thing, not the bath or any other sink, but our down pipe and drain etc are in the garage and that used to whiff a bit as well.

We took the trap off etc, etc but in the end I bought some stuff from our local shop called Knock Out Kitchen and Bathroom here – it's evil stuff that says it's corrosive and that you have to dispose of the bottle at a hazardous collection point!!! but it definitely worked – I put half the bottle down the drain and half down the offending sink. DH did wonder if there was a faint smell in the garage this morning but I did it a few weeks ago so it might need another dose.

mellymooks Tue 28-Feb-12 18:29:23

I have never laughed so much at a thread. You lot are hilarious grin

garlicbutter Tue 28-Feb-12 18:43:53

I've spent ALL afternoon on this thread - rarely have I been so informed and entertained! Thanks, everyone grin

Microfibre cloths on shopping list, dishwasher tabs turning a tea-towel into oven magic, am shortly going on a hunt for the secret filthy tumble dryer drawer.

... when I've finished laffing.

CuttedUpPear Tue 28-Feb-12 18:44:25

Somersaults...I could be sitting there with rubber gloves on looking exhausted after the man has been to clean my oven grin
Puts me in mind of an old Band of Gold storyline

garlicbutter Tue 28-Feb-12 18:45:44

If I put a tortoise/hamster/hedgehog in my fridge, will it clean out the stinky drain hole thing? Should I spray it with WD40 before hibernation? Or Veet?

CuttedUpPear Tue 28-Feb-12 18:53:57

Don't be silly garlicbutter you rub a banana on it, obvs.

garlicbutter Tue 28-Feb-12 18:58:42

Oh, of course. And an abstract coal sculpture. Thanks!

So I've bought the e cloths (was a but disappointed tbh, thought they would be more exciting?!)
I haven't actually cleaned anything with them yet but tomorrow is another day really mean I will give to dd and make her clean mirrors

I have don't the maintainance wash, sadly was a bit over eager and didn't read the whole thread which said you must do it on a regular basis not every 10 years otherwise your kitchen will smell of horrible old water

I cleaned the washing machine drawer with a lot little help from this thread and I've booked the oven cleaner man (haven't mentioned to DH as yet!)

After the banana-sex incident of last night I hate bananas and will never touch one again, can't do the apple thing, far too weak, and there's no room in my booze fridge for tortoises

What can I do next?????
I feel a bit lostsad sad sad

Oh and I've just made chicken and sweet corn soup, how easy was that?? My kind of recipie, especially as it looks and tastes very complicated

Honeydragon Tue 28-Feb-12 19:20:11

Have you googled dragon butter yet?

Somersaults Tue 28-Feb-12 19:20:43

So when I do my maintenance wash I should have the doors and windows opened? And wash DH's socks and undies something unimportant in the next wash?

CamelKnees Tue 28-Feb-12 19:25:30

Evening all!

Now then. This e-cloth business.... Firstly what does the sodding 'e' stand for???? Odd and suspect if you ask me.

Also I see them EVERYWHERE and have zero clue what they do. That website has lots of women banging on about using them to clean their entire houses with just water...surely this is a lie? I cannot be the only person with a family mucky enough that my surfaces laugh in the face of water and this mystical cloth....?? Neeeeed to know why these things are like catnip to housewives. Cannot all be Lakeland's impressive marketing surely?

So come on. How do they work? I want SCIENCE people, SCIENCE!

You buy them and then they take themselves out of the packet whilst you mn
Well at least that's what I'm hoping they do?!

And then clean the house by themselves while you mn, sorry that's what I was supposed to say sad

What the fuck???
Seriously what the fuck???
Dragon butter??? Really????
Oh now I feel sick

Will definitely not be mentioning that to deviant dh

Honeydragon Tue 28-Feb-12 19:40:38

Environmental? On account they are reusable?
I don't like touching them either.

With regards to maintenance washes you don't need anything in, but you may accidentally fetch from upstairs and deliberately load find your oh's fucking awful cardigan ends up in there by accident, and ensure discover that due to its high polyester count and plastic button it has melted .
Regular maintainence washes result in a well dressed man who chooses clothing with care and considers his wife's opinion when shopping.

Honeydragon Tue 28-Feb-12 19:42:36

grin Tantrums you're OFFICIALLY a Mnetter now grin grin

<<hands over badge>>

GlitterKitty Tue 28-Feb-12 19:42:40

Stinky sink cleaning- lots boiling water, then bleach & some bio washing powder down plugholes AND V IMPORTANT down drainy hole thing. Wait a bit.

Then pour down more boiling water. When I did this a big fat worm of lard or something squeeezed out of the draining (overflow?) hole. Ugh.

Great tip honey dragon
(goes to grab the replica football shirt that makes DH look like a dickhead, feel another maintainance wash coming on)

But dragon butter?? Really???
Who does this stuff??
I thought the banana was bad!

robino Tue 28-Feb-12 19:47:39

Whilst failing to split an apple in half with my bare hands because someone has decided it's a great trick to tell everyone it works when it doesn't I remembered my lettuce trick!

Probably only worth doing if you're going to use the whole thing fairly soon. To remove the stalk and the very dense bit of heart of a lettuce bash the lettuce stalk side down on the work top and voila, you can pull the stalk/ heart straight out. That's another one of your five a day sorted.

CamelKnees Tue 28-Feb-12 19:49:09

Too scared to google dragon butter....

And am officially non-plussed by e-cloths.

Man to come and clean my over-awesome.

Little weird cloths that make me wretch to touch them and still require me to do the cleaning - shite.

Honeydragon Tue 28-Feb-12 19:51:14

Dragon butter is the tip of the iceberg, never partake in a mnet googling thread on a full stomach. There isn't enough brain bleach in the world, I am not the woman I used to be. But I am now a woman who can horrify and traumatise young men when they try to impress me with their crudity and filthy minds grin

Somersaults Tue 28-Feb-12 19:51:42

So far I haven't googled banana porn or dragon butter. I don't think I want to really but there's a small part of me that desperately wants to know why tantrums is so upset/shocked/traumatised!

I also haven't cleaned my fire trap secret drawer in the tumble drier.

SusiaX Tue 28-Feb-12 19:51:49

Hm, might be trying the Glitter sink solution, garage really ponks tonight and sounds a lot kinder to the environment than my evil chemicals.

Powerplumb (or something) is also good for blasting blockages out of the pipe – possibly not a good idea if you are in anyway doubtful that your pipes could withstand it.

I beg you to google it camel knees it's vile funny

Hate these little cloths, given them to Dd

Oh but I bought some stuff to de scale kettle and iron, it's brilliant you just poor the stuff in and leave it

I am the princess of making it look like I've done a difficult, very time consuming job when really I've done fuck all

Pour it in even! Bloody autocorrect, why does it presume it knows what I want to say? Even I don't know what I want to say sometimes smile

Somersaults Tue 28-Feb-12 20:01:04

It also thinks you're in the princess!! Which princess?

SecretNutellaFix Tue 28-Feb-12 20:03:52

so what changed Honey?grin

CamelKnees Tue 28-Feb-12 20:05:03

<sick. In. My. Mouth>

I would post a glorious technicolour picture of my unveeted hairy plug hole on MN AIBU before I'd do that!!!!

I looked for the fire trap/secret drawer in dryer
Couldn't find it
I figured if it catches fire at some point at least I'll know where it is!

mellymooks Tue 28-Feb-12 20:11:27

Ahhh have some how missed the knowledge imparted regarding tea towel, dishwasher tabs and a clean oven PLEASE can someone fill me in?

mellymooks Tue 28-Feb-12 20:12:38

Did a maintenance wash today grin this thread has inspired me, only yesterday I was posting on confessions of a slattern, maybe there's hope for me yet......

Yep, call the mobile oven cleaner man, put the dishwasher powder in the dishwasher and spend a bit more time on mn

If you want to do it the properly then someone not lazy on the thread will explain smile

littlemisssarcastic Tue 28-Feb-12 20:15:31

ripsishere I have never heard of that one. So if I can see the tyres on the car in front, full on turn the steering wheel? and I don't have to go forward then back then forward then back then forward then back and on and on.

What a cool tip!!!! I am liking that one very much!!

Any more car/driving tips?

mellymooks Tue 28-Feb-12 20:16:17

I am also too scared to google about bananas and dragon butter...............

Honeydragon Tue 28-Feb-12 20:17:15

Nutty grin

Apparently you soak tea towel in dw tablet. Lob over oven door, go off to Mnet and drink coffee do something else constructive. Upon our return the oven door rime will wipe away with ease meaning you can see the filthy horror lurking inside.

Honeydragon Tue 28-Feb-12 20:17:58


But then you still have to clean the inside?
Well that's no fun is it?

mellymooks Tue 28-Feb-12 20:24:16

oh am disappointed thought it was a magical solution to clean WHOLE of the inside of the cooker, you're right honeydragon I certainly don't want to see what's inside grin

The only magical solution is the mobile oven cleaning man, all you do is let him in, pay him £30 and then run go to work, that's what I call magic smile

GlitterKitty Tue 28-Feb-12 20:29:43

Secret drawer (on my machine) is right at bottom on front left hand side. Looks just like a little panel with no markings but when you prise it off (with knife or something) you will find the fluff. I promise its not a wind up.

<feels like easter bunny>

Just googled Dragon butter .
Why oh why do I fall for the google trap !
Going to soak a tea towel in dish wash tablet and clean my eyes .
thought it was nice butter from Wales

I thought it would be butter as well, wft??

Curious why dragon butter tho.....?

NomDePrune Tue 28-Feb-12 20:49:59

I knew about the banana opening. We had a Ugandan bishop to tea when I was young and that's what he did.
Hairy plughole, and run out of Veet? Use an old interdental (TePe) brush. I was very smug when I invented that and also v v queasy. Because of what came out. Still, better out than in hmm

Boomerwang Tue 28-Feb-12 20:51:09

Can anyone tell me a good way to lift dust from around the toilet and sink whilst the surface is wet? I've been using a dishcloth (specially for the toilet) so far and all it does is push the dust around into a dirty streak. I don't know how dust gets in there but it does, along with cat hair. It must blow into the room when the door is opened or closed. I've also tried using those 'moppet' things but they're even worse than a dishcloth. Is there a magic solution?

Latsia Tue 28-Feb-12 20:53:23

<rushes in 10 pages after spider discussion has ended>

Ladies, I give you The Spidercatcher (and not the tube thing!)


Changed my life. I even have a travel one. Am now very casual and shoulder shruggy about spiders.

<Pours self congratulatory wine for helpful contribution>

Joins Latsia in bottle glass of wine as I just used my kettle descaler and now it's sparkling

Just asked DH if he knew what dragon butter was.....and he did
Am slightly shocked and disturbed by this.

mellymooks Tue 28-Feb-12 21:02:07

boomerwang baby wipes they are my best friend grin

Latsia Tue 28-Feb-12 21:02:59

Am studiously ignoring the dragon butter discussion. Is the first and last thing I ever Googled against on the advice of MN.

StrangewaysHereICome Tue 28-Feb-12 21:05:38

tantrums my DH knows what munting is. I am both shocked and disturbed.

<disclaimer - don't google if you are of a delicate constitution>

Too late....oh my actual days there are some very sick people in world

My DH knows what it is too, is that a problem?
Should I leave him??

garlicbutter Tue 28-Feb-12 21:19:33

Eeuw, Strangeways, I'll have to stop using "munter" as a random insult now shock

Am slightly amused that you're shocked at DH's encyclopaedic knowledge of rare sexual practices when your own knowledge is clearly comprehensive grin

And am happy to report that J-cloths soaked in dishwasher tabs have easily removed a few years weeks' worth of baked-on crap from the floor of my oven. Dishwasher tabs are good for clarty plugholes, too: water must be boiling.

If "clarty" has strange perverted meanings, Mners, I really don't want to know!!

stealthsquiggle Tue 28-Feb-12 21:24:08

Never google stuff you suspect you wouldn't want your boss to see on your search history.

Not even on your phone

<<sits on hands>>

molepom Tue 28-Feb-12 21:24:51

May I offer one?

The polish you get in motor stores make a better polish than Brasso and the shine lasts a lot longer.

Boomerwang Tue 28-Feb-12 21:25:31

thank you mellymooks I'll have to try that out because I'm very sceptical hmm

I have a packet of them in the bedroom. wink

mellymooks Tue 28-Feb-12 21:38:27

They are my saviours, honest try it grin

StrangewaysHereICome Tue 28-Feb-12 21:54:59

But garlic it was MN what made me look, honest. I am was rather innocent until I ventured on here. On the one hand I have learned some rather splendid tips on household cleanliness, only to have my mind sullied by googling random obscene sexual practises because -- I couldn't help myself-- they made me do it.

tantrums you have the same dilemma as me. I might have to leave him or at least tell his mother what he knows!

minimuffy Tue 28-Feb-12 21:56:20

you PAY people to clean you oven??!!!! pay me!!!

and have you people not heard of ovenbrite? best stuff to clean oven. ever. and can handle my annual oven clean!

also- how do you get the black marks off from the rubber bit of the washing machine door? tried milton tablets on a cloth before but it didnt lift much..

also, whats a J cloth??

Yes I am going to pay someone to clean my oven- it is starting to smoke and I'm lazy scared of chemicals far too busy to do it myself!
When I say far too busy, I mean to busy googling bizarre sexual practices, opening bananas and refrigerating my tortoises, not busy doing anything constructive
However I have spent the day dazzling people with my cleaning tips that I never use come to the conclusion DH is perverted, failing to find fire hazard in tumble drier, descaling the kettle (took 2 minutes) and buying nasty scratchy non magic e cloths, so quite a productive day for me!

Oh and I made soup!

Yes minimuffy I've heard of oven brite.... Have also heard of dragon butter, but it doesn't mean I want to try it smile

mellymooks Tue 28-Feb-12 22:17:53

tantrums you're so funny <<think I'm developing a MN crush>> grin

Aah thanks melly, I'll let YOU come and clean my oven smile

No dragon butter though please I'm in a diet

ON a diet, sorry sad

mellymooks Tue 28-Feb-12 22:28:03

Me, oven clean? Hmmmmm I'm prob not the best choice for that particular job! I have not looked at dragon butter I do not know what you are talking about and am not at all curious grin

You know you are curious really smile
I don't think anyone should even clean unless they are mobile oven cleaning man who I will happily pay double have sex with pay £30 for a clean oven
I'll even give him a cup of tea from my shiny descaled kettle smile

mellymooks Tue 28-Feb-12 22:32:15

Want to stay up all night so I don't miss any of the hilarity this thread has brought my way today but really must get some zzzzzzzz's soon.
How though will my dreams evolve, will there be killer frozen tortoises brandishing oven cleaner and tearing open apples whilst demanding I tell them what dragon butter means?! Hmm maybe I should drink some more wine so I can knock myself out cold grin

Oooh when did this thread move to classic?
I feel like a celebrity now, being part of it the phrase small things amuse small minds(mine) feels sadly appropriate

SecretNutellaFix Tue 28-Feb-12 22:32:49

Classics, ladies- you are now in classics!

mellymooks Tue 28-Feb-12 22:34:34

tantrums you seem to be getting fixated on your oven cleaning man there!! Steady on he maybe into dragon butter, banana porn munting for all you know grin

PestoPenguin Tue 28-Feb-12 22:36:30

Thanks SusiaX I've mentioned it to DH and he is contemplating it hmm. We have tried pouring various industrial solutions down there, but not that particular one. Bleach and boiling water -tick, no effect sad.

<slinks out of scary classics>

mellymooks Tue 28-Feb-12 22:36:34

OOOh am so excited have never been part of a classics thread before ooh am proud grin doesn't take much to make me happy smile am not at all wine

smile at "I've mentioned it to DH and he is contemplating it"
If I didn't read the rest I would have been quite concerned
....tries desperately to get rid of bizarre sexual rituals and have a nice normal chat

CuttedUpPear Tue 28-Feb-12 22:40:38

clinks wine with mellymooks in self self-congratulatory toasting upon our promotion into classics

mellymooks Tue 28-Feb-12 22:44:27

clinks wine right back to cutteduppear
Right really must go to bed have to be up early, don't do too much chatting without me I don't want to miss all the fun!!

PestoPenguin Tue 28-Feb-12 22:47:18

<uses bleach and boiling water to clean brain after reading tantrums' comment>

Please pass the brain bleach, I can't sleep, every time I close my eyes I see .....things I don't want to
Damn you google

CuttedUpPear Tue 28-Feb-12 22:52:28

Dishwasher tablets and j cloths eh....?
Sweet clean dreams ....

Tbh the e cloth scares me more than the bizarre sex stuff, why is it so horrible?
Why make a cleaning cloth no one actually wants to touch?

Which company cleans an oven for £30??

Can't tell you that, you might steal them and they belong to me!!
I was surprised but I haven't used them yet, they are coming on Thursday
Might do a terrible job but doubt it could get any worse- unless they break it....well then we will live on honey dragons soup recipie.

Honeydragon Tue 28-Feb-12 23:07:29

Right behind you BTCD round these parts it's £50.

<<is also crushing on Tantrums pretty hard do to her resolute refusal to even consider DIY oven cleaning since she discovered outsourcing grin>

I'm slightly concerned my oven cleaning man is too cheap??

Nevergarglebrandybutter Tue 28-Feb-12 23:11:53

When will you lot learn?!?!?!

Honeydragon Tue 28-Feb-12 23:12:27

Might have more competition? Is your a double or single oven?

Honeydragon Tue 28-Feb-12 23:13:26

Here she is, Mumsnets patron saint of Nevergoogling wink

Nevergarglebrandybutter Tue 28-Feb-12 23:20:09

grin tis I.
now stop it, you'll fill your subconscious with smutty nonsense that one day,when you're demented and sitting in a nursing home with your tan tights wrinkled round your ankles, It'll come back to you in a moment of lucidity and you'll start telling the staff about rude stuff you found out on the internet, and they'll write you up as 'sexually disinhibited' and the professionals will only visit in pairs.
You are all on a slippery slope. Save yourselves.

ThatVikRinA22 Tue 28-Feb-12 23:22:00

<nips in to mark place so as to continue learning stuff that i have never known before>

<eyes up the bananas>

PastGrace Tue 28-Feb-12 23:23:06

Yes yes yes I did the oven door thing today and it worked a treat PLUS I used the funny middle bit of the stainless steel sink to make the dishwasher tablet solution so that left the sink all sparkly and lovely AND then I put the dishcloth in an otherwise empty machine on 90 because I was scared of drowning in bubbles.

<awaits award for most efficient mn cleaning>

Honeydragon Tue 28-Feb-12 23:24:22

Save myself???????? When I was small and new and found this strange new land of cunting Sainsburys and sweetcorn rivers YOU, yes YOU Never, were there when I found out what SpaceDocking was! I have never been the same since. grin. I certainly scream in my sleep more.
<<attempts to repress the horror>>

Nevergarglebrandybutter Tue 28-Feb-12 23:27:23

you only have yourself to blame. you think i google that shit? no siree. i learnt my lesson.

I never Google anything. I'm not sure of.

I can't get the banana thing to work sad

And I want my oven cleaned for £30! Stump up the goods!

SurvivalOfTheUnfittest Tue 28-Feb-12 23:32:44

Have only got as far as page two before saying accidently outloud, "Ooo, I'm going to have fun with my banana tomorrow!" Cue very hmm looks from DH next to me, merrily minding his own business and now pondering my meaning!!

MrsDeeBee Tue 28-Feb-12 23:50:39

Brilliant thread !

Dh just told me another little banana 'tip'.

Take a needle and gently press into banana and turn. Repeat all around banana as evenly as possible.

Open banana, bitesize pieces !

I have not tried this so I don't know if it works. Will be buying bananas tomorrow to test both banana theories.

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom Tue 28-Feb-12 23:56:27

Vivi - why was the charcoal in the installation art in the alcohol mince rinsing auxiliary fridge on kitchen roll, but the drippy sticky sliced old lemon wasn't?
Am I a cultural philistine because I have to ask? blush
I watched Swan Lake earlier, by the Royal Ballet at Covent Garden grin until it was time for Big Fat Gyspsy Wedding, then I changed channels

Boomerwang Wed 29-Feb-12 00:00:05

I'm creasing up with some of the typos and auto corrects gone wrong on this thread. I also have mental images of what a 'big fat worm of lard' looks like.

But I've forgotten what dragon butter is and I'm going to keep it that way.

ViviPru Wed 29-Feb-12 00:16:32

<Finally coming round from cold and fragrance-free cider induced stupor>


I have some questions.

Just how rank is dragon butter? Is it a poo related? Blood? Other bodily excretion? Because I think I could cope with any of that. What I can't cope with is creatures. I still get prickly sweats when I think about those nipple grubs from the Cuntworms thread (love how autocorrect capitalises cw) Would someone please give me some sort of euphemistic summary as to the nature of DB? Save me from myself and my itchy google finger.

Also, can anyone vouch for the DW tablet in with yellowed whites? That's got potential warranty claim written all over it, surely. And I'm rocking a Beko, none of your throw-anything-at-me-Miele, so I'm not brimming with off-piste washing machine confidence...

Finally, I think I missed the bit about the washing machine drawers. So I'm demoulding the top drawer and defluffing the secret bottom drawer? And what's the fire all about? I was too busy setting light to my fridge when that was being discussed. And are we bothering with soda crystals on the maintenance wash? Perhaps someone would be so kind as to compile a little washing machine spring-clean best bits please?

TIA, wise ones smile

Vivipru, dragon butter is rank, no creatures involved but still rank

Moulds washing machine drawer is a fucking nightmare to actually get out and I had to kick mine to get it back in. Was it worth the effort? Well I have a clean detergent drawer that no one ever sees but me so I suppose that's good?
Secret fluff trap in tumble drier MAY catch fire if you don't clean it, I can't find mine didnt look to hard and I'm working on the theory if it does catch fire then I will find where it is smile
Don't know jack about soda crystal, did maintainance was without, kitchen stank of dirty water (10 years worth) so maybe should have.

I think I deserve one of your non smelly ciders for that!

Right, please tell me again what to do with the banana?! I tried it yesterday and just ended up with a banana I had to open by the stalk end and the other end all squishy where I'd squeezed it hmm What am I doing wrong?! confused

ViviPru Wed 29-Feb-12 09:17:00

Ah thanks tantrums that's great smile

Ciders have all been mullered but I might be able to find a little wine for you

Somersaults Wed 29-Feb-12 09:31:37

Is it bad that I've shoved the kid under the mobile and wound it as far as it will go so I can catch up on this thread in peace?

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDoom Wed 29-Feb-12 10:00:40

Yes somers you should have put it in hibernation mode in the fridge! grin

fabwoman Wed 29-Feb-12 10:21:08

Latsia - is there a picture of a s.p.i.d.e.r in the link?

<don't know what dragon butter is>
<don't know what munting is>

<wonders if she will be drummed out of MN again >

Shutupanddrive Wed 29-Feb-12 11:20:12

I am doing the machine machine maintenance wash now, for the first time ever! smile hoping for sparkly clean machine afterwards

Shutupanddrive Wed 29-Feb-12 11:20:49

Washing machine!!!

DonkeyTeapot Wed 29-Feb-12 11:23:03

This e-cloth must be what MIL brought round. She arrived one day and shoved something in my hand, said "here, I've brought you a dishcloth" and hurried into the house leaving me standing at the door, holding a weird horrid cloth, somewhat confused. It does feel like it's snagging dry skin on your hands, doesn't it?

Wm is on maintenance wash now. A few suds, nothing crazy though. It's a little disappointing to be honest.

The e cloth is really disgusting, I don't understand why it exists?
Why have a cloth that no one wants to touch?