Mumsnet shit tips of the day - come add yours

(253 Posts)
whomovedmychocolatecookie Mon 09-Nov-09 09:14:28

Have your children delivered by caesarian on 29th February to save on children's birthday parties later on.

Get children into school uniform at bedtime

AnyFucker Mon 09-Nov-09 09:27:31

pour the milk on the weetabix the night before to save time in the morning

NorbertDentressangle Mon 09-Nov-09 09:29:48

Tie dusters to the knees of your crawling child to save sweeping your hard floors.

Never call your relation names during conversations with your DH in earshot of your children. The next time they visit your sister they WILL call her "Auntie Big-Arse"

blush

GentleOtter Mon 09-Nov-09 09:46:17

Superglue lots of feathers to the guinea pig's feet and it will soon clean all those hard to reach corners.

shockers Mon 09-Nov-09 09:58:16

Buy onions instead of apples... they're cheaper.

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne Mon 09-Nov-09 10:00:14

grin at this thread.

Don't bother cleaning your house, just move when you have to wade through the sheer amount of crap.

GentleOtter Mon 09-Nov-09 10:12:20

Seal off really untidy rooms with crime scene tape over the doors.

pagwatch Mon 09-Nov-09 10:14:10

when your son introduces you to his girlfriend just imediately slap her. It will cut to the chase. She's going to hate you anyway whatever you do so you might as well get a free hit in.

GunpowderTreasonAndDragons Mon 09-Nov-09 10:14:46

Put your baby in a padded suit, spray polish on the laminate in the hall and play "hurling" to while away the dull winter evenings.

dilemma456 Mon 09-Nov-09 10:15:44

Message withdrawn

When making a nutritious meal for your family, bypass the face pulling and complaining and just empty the plates straight into the bin. It saves time.

GentleOtter Mon 09-Nov-09 10:21:54

Keep the guinea pig in the fridge and then you will not have that problem with the half eaten cabbage or mouldy tomatoes. Easy to clean out too.

shootfromthehip Mon 09-Nov-09 10:22:29

Indulge your inner 'Stepford' Mummy and make your own biscuits. And then misread the ingredient measurements and make 4 times the amount you want. And then burn them to save everyone having to eat them. <<bitter emoticon>>

biscuit grin

Feed your new hamster straight to the cats. It'll save heartbreak in the long run.

pagwatch Mon 09-Nov-09 10:27:34

The very first time you make a raost dinner try and massively undercook it. You will never then have to do it again.
(copyright Pagwatch @1989)

Every time you are asked to load the dishwasher, break something. You will soon find you are not asked anymore
(copyright Pagboy @ 2009)

scrappydappydoo Mon 09-Nov-09 10:28:51

grin grin grin

pagwatch Mon 09-Nov-09 10:35:31

ROFL at "it'll save heartbreak in the long run"

ParanoidAtAllTimes Mon 09-Nov-09 10:42:35

Never iron. Clothes will only end up creased anyway. Never make the bed for similar reasons.

When your lovely offspring does a poo, smear it all over the floor/your hair/clothes to save them the bother.

MrsChemist Mon 09-Nov-09 11:12:04

If you're not sure if food has gone off, give some to the cat. If it eats it, it's probably ok.

Don't waste time putting a bra on , they're gonna head south sooner or later!

schiaparellipink Mon 09-Nov-09 11:32:05

used tampons rolled in glitter make delightful christmas tree decorations

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