i went to SIL (kind of) house, and put their new kettle on the gas stove to boil. But the kettle was an electric one.
Me=Twat.

IN the early 90s when there was a cold spell and a lot of snow, was walking alongside Regent's Canal with (then) DP, and reckoned that the ice looked thick enough to skate on. He disagreed. I insisted on trying it by crouching on the bank and giving it a good kick.
Can you guess what happened next?

Luckily (then) DP is a man of superb reflexes and yanked me back up the bank before more than one leg had plunged into the icy water... I related the story to a paramedic pal a few days later who looked at me Very Sternly and said 'You do realise that if you'd fallen right into the water there would have been about 15 seconds to get you out before you died...'

I went into a salon to have my eyebrows shaped, explained what I wanted done to the girl behind the counter who kept nodding and smiling in what I should have noticed was a rather suspicious way. I sat down in the chair and closed my eyes. Opened my eyes and I had no eyebrows. Turns out she only spoke portugese and didn't understand a word of what I said. I had to draw my eyebrows in for about 4 weeks while they grew back. I'm not sure who was the bigger twat, probably me!!

radiating not radiation!

My auntie went on holiday with my Mum and DCs for a week in sunny Blackpool. She had left the gas fire on! That in it's self is bad enough (gas fire left on for a week) but was made a little worse by the fact that DAuntie fell and broke her knee whilst on holiday and spent 8 weeks at DMums recovering before going home.

I kid you not, when I took DAuntie home 9 weeks after she set off on holiday I could feel the heat radiation through the front door of her house.

I hate to say it but I think my Auntie is the biggest twat. (that feels so wrong)

Early one frosty morning I went out to scrape the ice off the car. Whilst doing so I stroked, petted and chatted to our elderly cat who was sat on the roof of the car. I jump in the car drove up the lane and pulled out on to the main road. I'm was driving at around 90kms/hr before I glanced in the rear view mirror to see afore mentioned kitty clinging Garfield like to the rear window screen wiper. Easy mistake to make once, twice? but three times... umm twatty!

Sparky, that just had me actually Lolling!

I put a kettle on a gas ring to boil while I went on MN. Realised a bit later I hadn't heard it whistle. Went into the kitchen, saw the gas was on but not lit....

...and pushed the ignition button.

Thankfully got away with just a few charred tomatoes!

Jujubean77 Ow ow ow ow ow!!!

I have gone shopping to Waitrose, walked around with an armful of shopping, then gone looking for the trolley, couldn't find it, stopped everyone asking if they had seen a trolley with two toddlers in it, had everyone running around like a headless chickens in a real panic.

Snuck out of the shop when I realised that it was Saturday, I wasn't working and the toddlers were safely at home with their parents!!

Walked out of the front door, thinking, what would I do if I locked myself out, slammed door behind me, locking myself out, leaving two 6 month olds still on lounge floor. Luckily (watching through patio doors) they fell asleep after 5 minutes as it took mum boss nearly an hour to get there!!

Last friday, playing football with 6 year old ex-charge, thought, imagine if I kicked the football through the window, 10 seconds later, did just that!!!!

Must stop thinking stupid things!

Oh my god Sparky, what a terrifying image