Eating in the supermarket

(417 Posts)
FluffyMummy123 Mon 24-Jan-11 18:56:43


DoodleToYou Thu 13-Mar-08 22:50:17

Message withdrawn

no doubt a recently digested grape vomited by a mumsnetter's child in the carpark

willow Thu 13-Mar-08 21:36:54

Thank God, a response. Seven years, seven years, I've been on this bloody site and I thought that link was priceless.

princessosyth Thu 13-Mar-08 21:34:48

Oh god, this started before I had ds! I had heard references to it.

willow Thu 13-Mar-08 21:28:37

What, nobody?

willow Thu 13-Mar-08 18:04:40

Oh come on...

willow Wed 12-Mar-08 19:59:44

Now look what you've done...


Tissy Fri 01-Apr-05 09:46:06

StuartC Fri 01-Apr-05 09:42:04


Benjaminsmummy Sat 03-Apr-04 18:49:13

Have now got part way through the thread and only just realised it started when I was about 10 weeks pregnant. DS is now 18 weeks old. Long running thread! BTW, he has so far not eaten any food in a supermarket that hasn't been paid for, but hasn't had any food other than mummy milk yet either. So I suppose I have all this yet to come

Pennypocket Sat 03-Apr-04 16:41:23

JJ - attractive penis??!! You made me giggle with that one! What does an unattractive one look like then?! sorry - don't answer this really - just made me laugh

WideWebWitch Sat 03-Apr-04 15:52:16

Twiglett and others, they were both controversial threads: eating in the supermarket and circumcision. Hmb asked if anyone thought they were 'ard enough to resurrect the circumcision one (this one having been brought back) and I said nooo, not me, I'm not. And then people started mentioning circumcision and er, that's how it happened

lazyeye Sat 03-Apr-04 14:52:19

Yeah bit left at the traffic lights to get from supermarkets to circumcision.

Must admit I let my 2 munch their way round (not usually too interested in the healthy grapes). I pay for whatever they eat so whats the problem?
Gawd knows I give JS Sainsbury enough of my money - I deserve the quietest shopping spree I can get away with with a 3yr and a 1 yr old, so munch away is what I say........

Benjaminsmummy Sat 03-Apr-04 14:40:19

Haven't read this thread yet but also interested in the progression! Will read some time when not about to go out to open bank account for 4 month old DS.

twiglett Thu 01-Apr-04 00:26:42

message withdrawn

JJ Wed 31-Mar-04 23:25:23

I got labelled as a "child abuser" in the last argument.

Can't say it affected me, except to make me a bit more ornery in this talk.

JJ Wed 31-Mar-04 23:24:04

My circumcised husband is for the "more good blow jobs" argument.

Just fyi. Not that he's getting one toinght, all coughy and sore throaty and that. He does have an attractive penis, though. It doesn't seem disabled in any way. We do have two boys and it does seem to be functioning properly.

Crunchie Wed 31-Mar-04 23:15:44

Oh HMB don't start No seriously it will cut it for me, but I was trying to explain to my work collegues 'why' god told us to. I remembered something that was said, I think by Lisa that really struck home to me, so I tried to use it as an example. In the end the row at work was getting far worse than on MN so I dropped it - all we all agreed to disagree Worst thing was there were people in the room that I KNOW would pierce little girls ears... But I won't go there

hmb Wed 31-Mar-04 23:08:40

So the 'God told us to' doesn't cut it crunchie??

And this from a lapsed Baptist.....I must say that If I were Jewish (dh is , well sort of) this would probably be enough for me

Crunchie Wed 31-Mar-04 22:38:54

It's funny I reread the circusision thread as I was actually looking for information about WHY jewish people circumsise (bear in mind I am jewish) and I couldn't think of any arguemnet but 'it's tradition'! Anyway I re-read it and in the cold light of day it wasn't that bad at all, people were just NOT reading the threads and getting all het up over nothing. In fact the thread seemed boring and a huge kefuffle over jack

My fave are the 'I'm not middle class but...' type threads Where people are trying to be oh so PC and just coming across more wanky than anything else.

katierocket Wed 31-Mar-04 14:36:17

I'd forgotten about the circumcision thread, I definitely skulked in the background for that one.

Twinkie Wed 31-Mar-04 14:33:20

How did I ever miss this one - I lurve it completely and utterly hilarious!!!

God I deliberately go to the supermarket at meal times - saves having to knock up a sandwich at home - lady on deli knows DD and has her bag of billy bear (unopened so she can munch on the way round) ready and waiting once she sees us - she munches that in time to get the the Baby Bel aisle and then is ready for a chunk of french stick and then finally a fruit shoot at the end!!

Meal and shopping done in one foul swoop!!

hmb Wed 31-Mar-04 11:30:14

It was one of the hottest debates I can remember on MN. It was more stongly debated that the war threads. I think the only topic that got people more agitated was GF.

There was also a great thread about 'things you can't say on MN'

WideWebWitch Wed 31-Mar-04 11:25:52

No, am definitely not hard enough to bring back the circumcision discussion. People stormed off and everything didn't they?

Coddy Wed 31-Mar-04 10:53:59

yes hmb a top 10 of longest or most discussed thread s ever!

great idea!

hmb Wed 31-Mar-04 10:43:27

Does anyone feel hard enough to bring back the circumcision thread??

Can we ask Tech for a best of Mumsnet Archive for these sorts of memorable posts? Or would that cause friction?

WideWebWitch Wed 31-Mar-04 10:38:35

Marthamoo! Glad to see this subject back too!

Croak Wed 31-Mar-04 02:12:22

My dp dosn't like it when I do it either misdee. I mean give food to ds, obviously I can just about make it to the check out before stuffing my own face. He says it looks common, I say he's up tight.
The thread must be revived coddy, its amazing (and I was too shy to post last time)

misdee Wed 31-Mar-04 01:31:05

i dont like my kids eating things before they have paid for them, but my mum does it. she opened a multipack of buttons the other day to keep dd2 quiet. ah well, some days we do anything for a quiet life.

Paula71 Wed 31-Mar-04 01:15:39

I used to love those salad bars at the supermarket until I saw one grotbag of a woman lick the spoon and put it back in the pasta!

I audibly went "eeeeuuuuuwwww" but she showed no shame. That was about 4 years ago and I haven't touched one since.

Coddy Tue 30-Mar-04 22:02:28

juat cnt believe this is up again

Croak Tue 30-Mar-04 21:16:57

oh dear oh dear oh dear GeorginaA, think I'd better change my ways, or at least change my supermarket to one without toilets

GeorginaA Tue 30-Mar-04 21:14:06

"Northener, for me it's just that i think of people picking their nose and stuff then touching them then dd eating them.........

worst case scenario girl"

That's not worst case scenario considering that most supermarket toilet facilities are at the front of the store.... and most supermarket fruit & veg aisles are at the front of the store....

oxocube Tue 30-Mar-04 21:12:34

Croak Tue 30-Mar-04 21:12:08

Think thats probably something to be proud of Crunchie

katierocket Tue 30-Mar-04 21:05:22

yeah - BRING IT ON.

So pleased that someone has found this. I was searching for this the other day.

Crunchie Tue 30-Mar-04 21:00:01

I remember this thread, it was hilarious. Croak I love the idea of sucking the grapes first - that would never have accurred to me!

Croak Tue 30-Mar-04 20:33:48

Ds goes so mad at the sight of a grape in the supermarket that I do let him 'test' a couple. I do however give them a quick suck 'to get the pesticides off'. Can't believe I'm admitting to something so vile and unhygenic though I'm not sure if I go with the worms thing - I'd surely be thinner if they'd taken up residence

Angeliz Tue 30-Mar-04 20:11:21

Northener, for me it's just that i think of people picking their nose and stuff then touching them then dd eating them.........

worst case scenario girl

Beety Tue 30-Mar-04 20:00:39

ooh hercules i like that time I fancy a doughnut

hercules Tue 30-Mar-04 19:57:46

Sometimes people take a bite out of the stuff in the bakery and then put it back with a mouthful taken out.

hercules Tue 30-Mar-04 19:56:35

Dh is a manger in a large supermarket and when ds was little and we were shopping there he gave him prepriced food to eat before paying and has no problem with this.
Grapes he thought were a nono but ds used to "test" the grapes when we went shopping (shop online now).

Northerner Tue 30-Mar-04 19:56:00

I don't even think about the grapes not being washed. When I were a lass we used to go strawberry picking, I'd pick one then eat one and it never did me any harm!

Angeliz Tue 30-Mar-04 19:53:48

LOL at this thread!

I don't let dd eat grapes before washing them but on anything else she munches away!
I will pay for it - and it keeps her happy - in turn keeping me happy - and a happy shopper is what the stores want isn't it?

There is MUCH more to worry about than this!!!!

Blu Tue 30-Mar-04 19:49:35

Thank you Layla
Marthamoo. ROFL

bossykate Tue 30-Mar-04 19:46:20

marthamoo, that is hilarious!

mieow Tue 30-Mar-04 19:35:12

LOL what a thread!!!!

layla Tue 30-Mar-04 19:16:47

It's on the education thread entitled 'Are all school secretarys jobsworths?'

Blu Tue 30-Mar-04 18:30:23

Where's the tablecloth thread? <<whinges and whines>>

M2T Tue 30-Mar-04 18:26:40

Didn't think of that OO! Will do next time though.... thanks.

oliveoil Tue 30-Mar-04 18:19:53

You should have used some Pampers wipes then shoved them back in the packet after and sealed it back up, that would have cleaned him up nicely

M2T Tue 30-Mar-04 17:56:50

From rereading this thread I think I might have had a glass or two of wine whilst posting! Fab reading though!

Marthamoo - That was YOU?? I would've joined you, but ds had been sucking the seeds out of tomatoes and putting them back on the shelf..... he was in such a mess that I thought I'd better head home pronto to change him.

Beety Tue 30-Mar-04 17:54:22

marthamoo chuckle chuckle

Kayleigh Tue 30-Mar-04 17:52:52


Northerner Tue 30-Mar-04 17:45:55

LOL Marthamoo!

Northerner Tue 30-Mar-04 17:45:00

Can't believe I missed this thread. I am a member of the 'let them eat grapes' brigade and this thread has had me laughing my socks off.

Far more important issues to fret about IMO.

marthamoo Tue 30-Mar-04 17:44:15

Popped in Tesco one summer evening last year, cracked open one of their disposable barbeques, lit it, and had a great time cooking their sausages, chicken pieces etc. Really handy as the coleslaw and potato salad, beer, wine etc., are only a couple of aisles away from the fresh meat. We did have a few selfish shoppers complaining that our chairs and table (from the garden furniture section) made it difficult to get trolleys past but, on the whole, we really enjoyed it. Think we may do the same in Sainburys this summer - it really is good, because even if it rains, you don't get wet

M2T Tue 30-Mar-04 17:41:42

And a wonderful thread this was too.....

I fed ds with strawberries whilst walking around Tesco the other day..... I had grapes in my trolley, but after this thread I felt too guilty to give ds one!!!! The strawberries were pre-priced BTW.

Blu Tue 30-Mar-04 17:40:25

I wanna know where the tablecloth thread is....

layla Tue 30-Mar-04 17:39:32

Can of worms eh?LOL Beety.
Must read on now,I'm intreagued.

Beety Tue 30-Mar-04 17:33:52

oh no do not know what a can of worms yo have opened up..

BTW i read ok in the queue at sainsbury and then put it back hahahahahah

layla Tue 30-Mar-04 17:30:15

Just came on here after the link from that hilarious tablecloth thread and just had to add something.Have only just read a few posts so far but on the subject of eating grapes before washing them-did anyone see the programme disgusting diseases the other night-what a horrible eye opener.Apparantly abroad you can catch worms big horrible worms that grow inside you from eating unwashed fruit and veg.It was the most disgusting programme I've seen.I will now watch out for where the grapes are from if I were you and make sure they are washed first.

willow2 Fri 16-May-03 16:39:17

Die, damn you.

SamboM Fri 16-May-03 14:36:44

But Edgarcat, if you are killing it is that natural? Only kidding, I couldn't agree more it is very dull

edgarcat Fri 16-May-03 14:30:12

Message withdrawn

SamboM Fri 16-May-03 14:21:36

OOOh Lulu41 you are controversial!

I think I will have to stick your dummy in, smack your bottom and not let you have a bottle.

Lulu41 Fri 16-May-03 14:18:22

Oh for those worried about this thread fizzling out dont worry next week there will be another mum out there who will judge another albeit a different subject ie. dummies, breast v bottle, smacking etc etc the list is endless some people just love to feel superior - now that should spark off a few comments !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CAM Thu 15-May-03 20:55:48

And when I was in Sainsbury this morning a woman at the counter was buying a bar of chocolate for her son in pushchair who kept saying Gimmee and trying to grab it. She said very loudly several times "No I've told you before, you can't have it till we've paid" Now which one of you was that?

breeze Thu 15-May-03 14:39:52

Must admit that while in the supermarket this morning with a hungry DS, it occured to me that I had not fed him for ages, so for the sake of it I opened up a packet of crips and fed DS and pais at the checkout, whilst constantly on the lookout for looks from other possible mumsnetters.

Rhubarb Wed 14-May-03 22:43:59

Can't see why this is such a controversial topic, it has such a tame title! Did anyone see that episode of SWAG where they humiliated a girl at a pick 'n' mix after she popped one of the sweets into her mouth? I thought that a bit cruel, after all I think most of us have been there, done that!
As for tip of the french loaf, it's an excellent way to get round the supermarket without your child screaming and wailing, and it's also brill for teething! I know my supermarket would much rather you put something in the child's mouth than have it yelling up and down the aisle's!

Have food must eat!

janh Wed 14-May-03 22:41:06

willow2, you mean "U" and "non-U"???

Nancy Mitford would love it!

willow2 Wed 14-May-03 22:38:27

Mum2Toby - I've been pondering this too - could it be that we are getting in to sofa v couch, supper v tea, toilet v loo situation?

Mum2Toby Wed 14-May-03 21:22:06

Tallulah - questioning peoples morals and integrity and manners is bad enough! But when someone questions your reasoning all you can muster is a "it just is"!!!!!

I don't think that really justifies it, do you????

tallulah Wed 14-May-03 20:31:14

doormat- sadly, not related to CZJ

nattie, it just is, OK.

Tigger2 Wed 14-May-03 15:18:30

Katierocket, make sure the Grapesuit is purple, otherwise you may resemble a sheep dropping! if it is green, or is that you lurking in Safeways this after in the Lamb section?????????????

Just imagine putting your hand forward to lift something off the shelf and the Baked Bean Detective shoves their head out, think there would be more than an expellation of air, more like a complete evacuation of the bowel!!

TheOldDragon Wed 14-May-03 08:05:08

Incredible isn't it?

edgarcat Wed 14-May-03 07:46:07

Message withdrawn

chiggles Wed 14-May-03 07:18:28

Have to say, ds always has the end of the bread. It's warm, freshly made and smells lovely! He hardly has any breakfast so at least I know once a week he's eating something for breakfast. I do, however, always make sure I've got some change in my pocket before I go so if anyone moans I can give it to them so it's paid for. Most of the till people think they've got mice in the bakery!

Nattie Tue 13-May-03 23:36:42

This thread seems to be fizzling out now.

However, supermarket snackers, stop apologising and feeling guilty. Doesn't 'society' pile enough of the problems of the world onto the shoulders of mothers as it is without us all piling it on to ourselves and each other?

megg Tue 13-May-03 22:38:21

Sorry but I'm another one who lets ds eat round the supermarket (anything for a quiet life). I once put the french stick at the end of the trolley only to have him climb out of the seat all over my shopping just to get to it. After being told off by the grocery manager in my local Tesco for opening a new box of carrots when there was already a box opened (with crappy carrots in it) I don't care if it takes a bite at their (millions of pounds worth of) profits (I'm sorry I didn't realise I was supposed to buy crappy carrots). Unfortunately I'm too honest to steal anything I always let the cashier scan whatever ds has eaten. As dp is in the Navy and away a lot I don't have the option of leaving ds anywhere and shopping online always leaves me more stressed than taking him to the shop.

Bobsmum Tue 13-May-03 22:27:07

sorry that's

Bobsmum Tue 13-May-03 22:26:01

Demented :D - you beat me to it, that crossed my mind this morning.

Demented Tue 13-May-03 22:23:48

Just thinking say you have four young kids munching their way through the weekly shop, taking things out of multipacks etc where the goods were definately going to be paid for, regardless of your moral stance on this, what happens if you get to the till and find you have forgotten your purse? or they swipe your bankcard and it gets bounced?

tomps Tue 13-May-03 21:24:20

hurrah, aloha's back ! Not surprising really, with such a contentious issue to lure her back in ...

katierocket Tue 13-May-03 20:53:46

Leese - - hmmm, may have to rethink, perhaps a bread roll costume would better.....

rosehip Tue 13-May-03 20:21:07

Is this the thread of threads or what, the mother of threads, how massive is this one!! I stand guilty of opening the multipacks and giving ds a packet to keep him quiet in the trolley. I do pay for everything and the supermarket makes more money because when he winges I'm in and out in a flash ....... Perhaps they should introduce mini goody bags to keep 'em quiet whilst we shop, they could hand them out at the door or better a creche! Therefore: treats + niggly todder =calm toddler, calm toddler + calm mother = more money spent in supermarket so in my book that means lollies or rice cakes at the door for free - simple!!

doormat Tue 13-May-03 20:12:54

Nattie good point . Tallulah are you related to CZJ by any chance?

Nattie Tue 13-May-03 20:10:46

Tallulah, you still haven't explained WHY it's not right to eat in public.

XAusted Tue 13-May-03 19:50:26

Just trying to sort something out in my head. The grapes come to the supermarket from a wholesaler who invoices the supermarket, I guess? What if the supermarket puts the grapes on the shelves before paying the wholesaler's invoice? Has the supermarket stolen the grapes?

monkey Tue 13-May-03 19:46:41

re: the eating in public argument, I can't help but roll my eyes. I can see it if it's a "youth" sat next to you on the tube eating a stinky burger or something,or an adult eating a stinky onion bhaji while walking round a shop (sorry thomCat, couldn't resist!) but a toddler eating grapes/ a crust of bread? Come on! What next? Banning breastfeeding in public - after all - that's eating.

aloha Tue 13-May-03 19:27:20

Katierocket, can you make me one? I've always wanted a grapesuit.

leese Tue 13-May-03 19:25:41

katierocket - you'll just be mistaken for a giant haemmorhoid........!!!

katierocket Tue 13-May-03 19:07:10

right just been down the local Sainsburys and scouted out the best entrance to make my attack.

Busily sewing my grape costume as I type....

nobby Tue 13-May-03 18:59:17

Bloody Fagin

aloha Tue 13-May-03 18:55:50

I just love the mental image of a toddler in his supermarket trolley with a grape in one hand and a widescreen telly in the other.

aloha Tue 13-May-03 18:54:43

Actually, in encouraging my kids to eat in the supermarket, I am merely carrying on an honourable family tradition. I eat in supermarkets too. Have done all my life. Like my mother before me. We've probably consumed our joint weights in french sticks over the years. But we're really quite moral people who never throw litter on the floor/park in parent& child spaces without a baby with us/talk on our mobile phones in the cinema or hotwire cars. Honest.

tigermoth Tue 13-May-03 18:52:04

are you sure it's only four, aloha?

welcome back, anyway. Once a mumsnetter always a mumsnetter.

aloha Tue 13-May-03 18:42:21

Rosiesmum, you know, actually it is possible to have all those 'rules' - but still give your kids food in the supermarket. Amazing, but true! A lab isn't a supermarket. A classroom isn't a supermarket. saying that if you let your kids eat in the supermarket they'll do it everywhere is like saying, unless you insist your children go round the supermarket in silence they'll never know not to talk in the classroom or the cinema. It's daft. Different circumstances, different rules. Even little kids understand that. And the supermarkets don't mind. They are delighted you are buying food from them and don't - or certainly don't seem to - give a stuff how and where you eat it. Before, during or after shopping it's all the same to them. Surely for something to be immoral/wrong it has to cause harm to someone...? At least, that's what I teach my kids. I'm sure your children are enchanting. But so are mine. Oh, no...four posts on one thread. This is what has got me into so much trouble before.

whymummy Tue 13-May-03 18:42:09

i let my children eat in the supermarket and always pay,we don`t do grapes only because my ds nearly choked on one(at home)his teacher told me last month that he is the most obedient and polite kid she`s seen for a long time,now,i can`t be that horrible of a parent,can`t i?i don`t see how eating in a supermarket can lead to disruptive pupils

tigermoth Tue 13-May-03 18:42:04

Anyway look at it this way, better the children eat the grapes than drink the alcoholic byproduct.

beetroot, your mantra 'grape, grape grape, eat eat eat' made me laugh!

breeze Tue 13-May-03 18:37:57

Also for the record, when my ds is eating crisps, he will quite happily hand the bad over to be scanned then get given them back. I will continue doing this (anything for a quiet shop) and do not believe for one moment that he will turn into a thief because of it.

tigermoth Tue 13-May-03 18:35:11

I can see what you're saying rosie and sort of agree with you about emphasising the small rules to make the big one stick. But I think confusion is arising because everyone is talking about different ages of children. I mean, an under 2 year old won't have much of an idea about paying for things - you're lucky if they are understanding the concept of sharing. If the odd grape helps them through the aisles, and you pay for it at the end, then what's the problem? Lots of the pro grape eating people have very young children so are probalby looking at things from this angle.

I would not encourage my 9 year old eat grapes before we had paid for them, just for the reasons you state and also the fact that he is not likely to throw a tantrum because he is hungry. My 3 year old I would give grapes to, if he really wanted them, though I would be beginning to tell him about paying for things first and getting him to wait till we get to the cash desk. As it happens neither of my sons ask for food in the supermarket - too many other distractions there for them.

gosh2 Tue 13-May-03 18:31:10

As a parent I believe I have a moral obligation to teach my children right from wrong. It does worry me how many parents over look this view, and think oh well we can get away with a few grapes.

As a business woman, I can only add my humble viewpoint which is that the supermarkets do of course pass this loss onto us, in the form of inflated prices.

But I also know that children get bored, and the supermarket is no place for them, it is dull and boring. So I understand why parents will do anything to keep them quiet, and happy.

breeze Tue 13-May-03 18:30:10

My DH doesnt mind either and he should know. he says that even if he didn't like someone eating (which he doesn't) then he would be powerless to do anything until then walked out the door.

suedonim Tue 13-May-03 18:27:37

Thanks for that explanation, Pie, and lol at the Anthea Turner comment, Whymummy. I'm obviously missing an awful lot of important news while I'm out of the country. The Jakarta Post didn't mention the CZJ episode once!!

SoupDragon Tue 13-May-03 18:27:04

I LOVE this thread! Who needs Gina Ford when you've got eating in supermarkets?

beetroot Tue 13-May-03 18:26:53

THE SUPPERMARKETS DONT MIND !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Askmumtotobys dp

grape grape grape eat eat aet

Rosiemum Tue 13-May-03 18:21:39

IMHO in a shop the goods don't belong to you until you've paid for them - and I believe this is the legal status of items in your supermarket trolley - therefore if they don't belong to you, you, or your kids, shouldn't be consuming them.

This legality is how supermarkets cope with minors and alcohol and certain drugs - the point of sale, and point of transfer of ownership is the till.

I agree we all have the right to an opinion - and others have the right to parent their children as they see fit. And I'm not asserting that a child allowed to eat from a trolley will become a teacher-mugger! Just that unless you instill in your kids the idea that they can't always have what they want, when they want it, and that certain boundries must not be crossed, how do you expect them to cope when a teacher asks for quiet in the classroom so s/he can teach? Or abide by a 'no eating, drinking or gum' rule in a lab, which is there for health and safety reasons?

whymummy Tue 13-May-03 18:17:30

the opposite to anthea turner then

pie Tue 13-May-03 18:15:50

sue, one of the reasons that CZJ sued Hello! for unauthourized pictures is that there was one of her eating her wedding cake, which she claimed was one of the most unflattering things that you can show a bride doing and caused grande distress.

whymummy Tue 13-May-03 18:14:42

well said aloha
can`t wait for thursday

suedonim Tue 13-May-03 18:12:35

Doormat, lol at your spit-n-wipe memories. What's with the CZJ reference? I didn't get that one, sorry!

Aloha, it's *good* to see you back!!

aloha Tue 13-May-03 17:56:28

Rosiemum, do you eat in restaurants and then pay the bill afterwards or is that morally wrong too? Or is it theft, or rude, or immoral or any other of the very loaded words people are using here. You see, we do have rules with our kids. Just different rules to yours. I actually happen to think your rules are daft, but hey, that's totally your choice. And frankly, I doubt very, very much that your kids are nicer/more moral/more polite and less likely to mug their teachers than mine. As for the idea that eating french sticks in the supermarket is just one step away from hotwiring cars and mugging old ladies... how utterly bizarre.

Oh, God, a controversial mumsnet debate. Why do I let myself be sucked hole...

beetroot Tue 13-May-03 17:48:43

Rude ? Rude? Who bl..dy says so?

whymummy Tue 13-May-03 17:47:33

oh m2t i`m sure is a plot from mumsnet to keep us troublemakers apart

ThomCat Tue 13-May-03 17:40:11

Sorry - I don't get it, why is it morally wrong to eat something and then pay for it. I've never been told off by anyone working in the supermarket if they have to scan an empty bag from the deli which one contained an item of food, (which I rarely do to be honest) or a drink which I've opened to take the much needed headache tablets (which would be more common with me).
And why is it rude to eat when you're out and about. I don't get that at all. Rude to eat just when you're in a supermarket or out in public, other than a restaurant, in general?

tigerlilly Tue 13-May-03 17:38:22


You are very brave to post such unpopular opinions. I salute you!

northernlass1 Tue 13-May-03 17:35:54

think we need to change our nicknames in case we get tracked down and arrested!

Always pay for all my food - have not stolen anything and have very rarely done the croissant immoral thing. Anyway they don't finish it so it always gets put back in the bag and scanned through. Hands up though - feel bad when I do do it but life's too short to worry about what other people think.

Rosiemum Tue 13-May-03 17:32:23

No worse than usual northernlass!

tallulah Tue 13-May-03 17:30:46

Nattie- if you read my original post again you will see I was not talking about 1 grape. the child in question had polished off half a bag, in a shop that weighs at the till, so no, her mother did not pay for them.

Re the twix example- I didn't phrase that well. The other part was what if she'd eaten something like a twix, which she'd then not scanned the wrapper of. Is it ok to steal grapes but not other food items?

And yes it is rude to eat in shops!

northernlass1 Tue 13-May-03 17:29:24


bad day?

Rosiemum Tue 13-May-03 17:26:23

I know I shouldn't - but I'm going to add my thoughts to this one.

I cannot believe the number of people who allow their children to eat food from the trolley before it is paid for!

If it is a weighed item, then I'm sorry but it is THEFT, no matter how seemingly meaningless - and it's not the supermarket who pay for it but those of us who don't indulge in this stealing, as we have to pay higher prices to cover the losses - and before you go on about it only being a grape, have you seen the price of them recently?!

If it is an item that can be scanned after consumption and it is subsequently paid for then I agree you are not stealing, but I still feel it's morally wrong - you should pay for goods *before* consuming them.

I have two daughters, 2 1/4 years between them. I never took them shopping when they were hungry. They were always allowed a treat - but only after it had been paid for. This was the rule, no exceptions, and I never had any problem with either of them, as they knew exactly where I stood. So I'm sorry, I just can't understand why people would have a problem with enforcing this!

As a teacher I see far too many pupils who don't have a firm grasp of what is acceptable and what's not, and although it may seem a trivial thing to get worked up about, to me it's the thin end of the wedge. Establishing groundrules and then sticking to them is an important part of parenting. Many pupils I see who cannot accept discipline and rules at school have not been brought up to respect other people's property or groundrules at home.

I know these views are unpopular, but before you count me out as aged - I'm 37.

Mum2Toby Tue 13-May-03 17:14:37

Whymummy - I've still never received your email..... maybe youjust don't want to reveal your true ID to me......... >sniff<

whymummy Tue 13-May-03 17:11:00

lol m2t

Mum2Toby Tue 13-May-03 17:02:57

My ds is too young to even notice whether the grapes came from my bag or the trolley!!!!!! Whenever he's old enough I'll just pop them in my handbag when he's not looking. Then he'll think that I've brought them with me and I won't scar him for life.


By the way........ don't see what this has to do with my child growing up knowing his P's and Q's... when I'm stealing grapes for him he always says 'Ta, Mummy'!!!

tigerlilly Tue 13-May-03 16:51:13


Like 'please will you nick me a grape?'.

Oh, and I'd do a smily face here if I knew how.

whymummy Tue 13-May-03 16:09:16

you don`t want to do that katierocket,you`ll be an easy target for the "others" ,we can chain ourselfs to the trolleys and still be able to run away from the baguette attacks

Tigger2 Tue 13-May-03 16:07:39

Now, should we have Grape Detectives in the supermarkets??????, I'd love to see it, I'm usually the one trying to blend in with the grapes whilst tasting them!

Oh and by the by tigerlily, my kids do say please and thank you, always.

katierocket Tue 13-May-03 16:00:22

got it:

2, 4, 6, 8
Let our kids eat the grapes

OK so it's not Shakespeare but hey it's an anarchist group so all contributions valid.

I think I might chain myself to Sainsburys bike stands on Thursday.

northernlass1 Tue 13-May-03 15:26:37

Amazingly long thread - obviously struck a raw nerve Tallulah!

I agree with you and Bobsmum but when very tired one day I gave mine a croissant to share - this was mainly to try and prise ds (3) and dd (20m) apart - they pinch hug pull fight wriggle and generally cause mayhem sometimes when seated next to each other. So my excuse was that I needed to for a general policing violence policy!

Doesn't matter at all though does it!

aloha Tue 13-May-03 15:03:46

Oh, you know. Just annoying too many people... getting fed up. And I'm a confirmed grapestealer and french stick eater too. Poor ds doesn't stand a chance. Still, if he turns out a wrong 'un he'll fit in nicely around where we live.

Mum2Toby Tue 13-May-03 14:28:40

Ah Doormat - I wondered how long it would take for my clone to be mentioned again.

Demented Tue 13-May-03 14:23:29

I was very proud of my DS1 that day, in fact I had tears in my eyes!

doormat Tue 13-May-03 14:19:07

Suedonim I have an aversion to the wipe and spit that my mother used to do. YUCK!!!!!!

To the mumsnetters out there who do not like eating in public are you relations of Catherine Zeta Jones by any chance?????????????

sis Tue 13-May-03 14:16:17

Oh yes, nice to have you back Aloha

sis Tue 13-May-03 14:14:25

XAusted, I keep it in my mouth until I find a bin, or, if I've got a carpark ticket in my mouth already, then I put it into a tissue and wrap it up and keep it until I find a bin.

beetroot Tue 13-May-03 14:12:12

I use a tumble dryer - yes even when it is sunny!!!!

beetroot Tue 13-May-03 14:10:56

I use a tumble dryer - yes even when it is sunny!!!!

Bozza Tue 13-May-03 14:05:15

Now why didn't I think of that Aloha. Great idea since the trolley is only actually for transporting DS and stopping him wrecking the shop.

Where have you been anyway?

Another point I have a friend with children aged 27 months and 11 months who used to work in Sainsburys. She says she would never let her kids eat things before she'd paid for them and she used to hate having to scan sticky wrappers etc.

And I made my own peg bag. So there!!

OK so it was while on pre-baby maternity leave and not something I would have contemplated at any other point in my life.

XAusted Tue 13-May-03 14:03:38

Looking forward to Thursday's grape demo.

What do we want?
A grape to eat!
When do we want it?

Just one thing bothers me. All those who try cherries before buying - where do you spit the stones? Maybe you have a pinny with pockets and spit the stones in there?

suedonim Tue 13-May-03 13:51:36

ROFL at all this!!! I can tell you why it's impolite to eat in public. It's because my mum SAYS SO! Okay?

Grapestealer, LOL at the Sainsburys notice. You obviously have very precocious children in your neck of the woods!!

In all seriousness, I've been thinking about why I didn't/don't feed mine in supermarkets and I think it comes down to not wanting any mess on me or them, be it grape juice or crumbs. It probably stems from my early motherhood experiences, which were in the pre-baby wipe and supermarket loos days, so if you got into a mess, you had to produce the wet flannel you carried around with you (or not, in my case!), or lick-and-spit or just put up with it until you got home. But I don't think it's a crime - it's just not for me!

Anyway, I'll pass on the bread stick fight, if you don't mind. I might get a crumb on my peg bag pinnie.

ThomCat Tue 13-May-03 13:49:40

I don't know about kids eating in the supermarket, what about us lot??!! My DH and I used to always have an onion bahjee from the deli and put the empty wrapper in the trolley and pay for it afterwards. We went through a real stage of doing it but haven't for ages, will have to start that one up again!!
If I'm organised I always take a snack / drink for DD but if i popped into supermarket, unplanned, and she got grouchy I'd find something to snack on and pay for it at the check out. If I was told off by staff then fine I'd realise they didn't approve and wouldn't do it again (well I'd wait a few weeks!) but no-one has ever said a word when i've given them the empty wrapper to run through the till so........

aloha Tue 13-May-03 13:38:15

Bozza, put the basket in your trolley - hey presto - basket only line.

Chiccadum Tue 13-May-03 13:34:11

wow what an interesting thread.

my vote

EmmaTMG Tue 13-May-03 13:33:36

Blimey, nothing to add about the topic but this the longest thread I have ever seen!

tigerlilly Tue 13-May-03 13:27:37


V. funny!

beetroot Tue 13-May-03 13:15:20

ROFL samboM

My parents are very strange but not in the supermarket sense.

happydays Tue 13-May-03 13:13:40

Great thread

Yes eating is totally fine with the intention to pay.

SamboM Tue 13-May-03 13:12:22

Well in that case I should've grown up a vandal as my dad used to poke holes in cakes in supermarkets for entertainment - anyone else's parents that odd?

beetroot Tue 13-May-03 13:09:58

So that is where the mnothers of all those crims went wrong. that is why the jails are so full. Oi Mr Blairrrr.....

TheOldDragon Tue 13-May-03 12:42:13

Teach them to eat "won't be paid for" grapes now and they'll have the hubcaps off your car before you know it. A boy at DSs nursery had an illicit grape once - he was caught trying to hotwire the Little Tikes car last week.

Bozza Tue 13-May-03 12:30:23

Afraid I'm a

Demented's post summed up my position. When DS was younger I used to take him a snack from home in a plastic container (eg cheese cubes, raisins and cheerio's etc) and a drink. This was standard whereever I went. Since then I have started ordering from the net. This applies to me personally only. I did not want to end up with DS expecting food when shopping so didn't give him things for much the same reason I have never let him go on the little rides at the entrance. As in to be consistent and make my life easier.

Unfortunately I didn't do this at the swimming baths and woe betide me if there isn't a banana waiting in the changing room....

I do occasionally go to Asda with DS mainly to buy non-food items and agree with Slug. Although I go in the car there is generally no parent/child parking so until DS got to reasonably walking would get the push chair out.

Also my Asda has a hand basket aisle rather than a 10 items or less. And since DS insists on going in a trolley I may only have 1 or 2 items but have to queue for ages.

tigerlilly Tue 13-May-03 12:25:52

HI Nattie

Now, I don't call eating in the supermarket a bad habit at all. Nothing wrong with it. It's just the eating and then not paying bit that I have a problem with.

I loathe supermarkets and all they stand for. Don't shop in them very much. I can see why people think they're fair game. But I don't think my 3-year-old is political enough to differentiate between S'bys and small traders...!

beetroot Tue 13-May-03 12:21:53

demented - well done too your child.
Mine have done the same (20p found at school) and they have eaten (paid for after the event) food in sainsburys.

Nattie Tue 13-May-03 12:17:13

The trouble is, tigerlilly, you call it 'bad habits', I don't. I see no problem with 'eating in supermarkets'. But I'm still teaching my children what's stealing and what's not. I don't see anything wrong with eating in public and eating before you get to the checkout.

Re: stealing pens from work:

Let him/her without sin, cast the first stone!!!!

tigerlilly Tue 13-May-03 11:56:58

Beetroot - read some of it (it's soooo long) but was reacting to Tigger2 really.

Actually, I'm not averse to nicking pens from work etc etc (daring, huh!) but I think what I mean is I'm an adult so it's my choice. I'm just trying to teach my kids to be 100 per cent now and then they can pick up their own bad habits as they get older.

Demented - you must have been so proud!

whymummy Tue 13-May-03 11:56:15

well said nattie

Nattie Tue 13-May-03 11:55:05

PLEASE would someone explain why it is stealing if we pay for it - it's only stealing if we walk through the door without paying for it! AND why is it impolite to eat in a supermarket/in public? I need a straight answer.

Are those that give their children snacks to eat in a supermarket prior to paying for them being accused of not knowing, or being incapable of teaching their children, what's right from wrong?

I think the reason why this has got such a response is because there is an implied accusation of immoral and inadequate parenting.

breeze Tue 13-May-03 11:40:40

Yes but you know what they say, a grape today a wide screen tv the next.

I must admit I have checked my bill when I get home and they have occasionally charged me twice for something that I only purchased one off, it might only be a 15p loaf of bread, so with the grape eating it more that makes up for it.

Definately think we need more emotions, I vote for one that shows the "up yours"

Demented Tue 13-May-03 11:38:54

Very much agree with Tigerlilly's first statement. In fact some of this must have rubbed off on my DS1 (four) as a couple of weeks ago we were in ASDA and he found a 5p on the floor, he didn't know what to do, he didn't want to keep it, he wanted to give it back to whoever it belonged to, I said we would give it to the lady at the Customer Service desk and assumed that the lady would humour him and then put the 5p in the charity box. The lady at the desk was very impressed with DS1 and gave him a packet of sweeties (which I believe they are allowed to do as they have given DS1 sweets before when he hurt his finger in ASDA one day, they have some sort of system for putting it through the till). Very useful example for teaching DS1 that honesty does pay.

beetroot Tue 13-May-03 11:20:38

I am refering to the last sentance you wrote about opend packets of bread BTW

beetroot Tue 13-May-03 11:19:13

tigerlily - have you read this thread?????

That is exactly what we are saying - none is taliking about stealing

whymummy Tue 13-May-03 11:16:43

oh god so now we`re being acussed of not teaching our kids manners

tigerlilly Tue 13-May-03 11:13:11

Call me old-fashioned, but if it's a grape or one of the wide-screen tellies in my local S'bys - it's still theft. Similarly, my 3 yr old is taught not to litter, to say please and thankyou, to think of others' feelings and to help clean up after herself.

Couldn't bear the screaming in the early days though so we did do the 'presenting an open packet of bread at the checkout' bit.

Tigger2 Tue 13-May-03 11:06:01

For goodness sake, a grape! for ******************************************************, totally unreapeatable these bloody supermarkets extract enough cash from us in a week a grape will NOT BANKRUPT THEM!!!!!!!. I give my vote as a , and for those who seem to be on a Higher Moralistic Plain than the majority of us here, get a bloody grip.

judetheobscure Tue 13-May-03 10:57:42

It's a here, as long as the food is paid for. And no, I wouldn't let dd/ds read a magazine unless I was going to buy it.

Now, people that save tables in MacDonalds etc - you can get me ranting on that one Bobsmum

beetroot Tue 13-May-03 10:47:10

impolite and impatient (that sums up my 3 year old)

Bobsmum Tue 13-May-03 10:34:38

fraid i'm with grapestealer..... maybe it's the way i was brought up, but even if legally it's not theft, imo it's just impolite and impatient.
Kind of like people who save a table in a busy self service restaurant while someone else gets their food - despite a huge herd of people with bought food now with nowhere to sit - grrrrrr. My mum would be proud of me!
Let the ranting continue!

whymummy Tue 13-May-03 10:22:14

how about we all sing that feed the world song
feed the kids
let us shop in peeeeeeeeace
for you and for me
and the entire sainsburyyyyyyyyy`s

susanmt Tue 13-May-03 10:21:46

My vote
And where can I protest? We don't have a Sainsbury's (boo hoo) or a Tesco (boo hoo) and the ladies in the co-op GIVE my children grapes!

katierocket Tue 13-May-03 10:19:13

that's the spirit!
now, just need to think of some slogans,
"eat,eat, eat, now, now, now"

whymummy Tue 13-May-03 10:14:44

yes,and all the mums against should have their own demonstration at the same time and will have a big fight and hit each other with the placards and french sticks

beetroot Tue 13-May-03 10:03:50

can we dress or children up as grapes/breadrolls?

katierocket Tue 13-May-03 09:57:02

all welcome whatever the foodstuff, pie - the nature of the anarchist group is that there's no rules so please feel free to join in with your own bread roll protest. I'm off to make some placards...

Libby65 Tue 13-May-03 09:43:33

Good heavens Pie, where did that come from?!! Did you have a bad grape/pea/bead experience when you were young? Fascinating... (not for you though)

grapestealer Tue 13-May-03 09:40:48

Sainsburys do have notices in the biscuits and sweets aisles stating that "Please note that all goods must be paid for before consumption"They are at child's eye level!

whymummy Tue 13-May-03 09:35:16

count me in as well

for all of you that disagree i say
my kids,my money,my problem

pie Tue 13-May-03 09:28:04

My vote is

I would love to join you ladies eating grapes as a protest, but I can't.

I have a serious honest to God phobia of small round things, particulary grapes, peas and beads. If I have to look them I start shaking and vomitting. Maybe I could hold a bread roll protest further down the road.

Demented Tue 13-May-03 09:13:55

Eh??? Didn't mean to do that!

Demented Tue 13-May-03 09:13:03

tallulah, I think you have started a great thread here, loads of entertainment value. Just goes to say as well how different we all are!

Demented Tue 13-May-03 09:12:38

Just a thought there have been a few comments about big supermarkets putting children's comics, toys, sweets etc within children's reach making shopping difficult therefor justifying allowing a child to eat something that we are not going to pay for (ie a few grapes) or have a magazine and just put it back later. I was in my local shop yesterday and saw all the same things magazines at toddler level, sweets at toddler level (no toys in this shop) and I saw a two year old grabbing at the magazines and sweets and her gran removing them from her hand and telling her no. Just thinking this gran could have quite easily have given her grandaughter the Pooh mag that she so desperately wanted to read to keep her occupied whilst waiting in the Post Office queue for 10 mins but I am sure most of you would think this awful, possibly damaging the stock of a small shop. Why is is OK to do this to the big guys then? The two year old then trashed a sweet display, placed just at her level, the gran apologised profusely to the lady behind the counter and tidied all the sweets up whereas I know myself if something like this happens in a supermarket I would tidy the sweets up but I would be muttering under my breath at the cheek of them to put sweets within my child's reach etc. Just a thought.

beetroot Tue 13-May-03 09:11:04

why dont we all gather in Sainsburys accross the land and eat grapes at 2pm Thursday

beetroot Tue 13-May-03 09:09:38

katie rocket - i 2 asked that question ages down

(if you pay for the food)

Demented Tue 13-May-03 09:00:35

tallulah, I think you have started a great thread here, loads of entertainment value. Just goes to say as well how different we all are!

bouncy Tue 13-May-03 08:32:49

My vote

My brother works in a large clothes shop and he said it is not against the law to put an item on clothing in your bag, it only becomes a problem when you leave the shop without paying. I just think that people have so many views on everything.
I never judge another parents if their kids are playing up and having a tantrum because you never know the circumstances, it is easy to ignore a toddler having a tantrum at home, but not in public, you are damned if you do and damned if you do not. The world would be a better place if people stopped getting wound up over silly non issues, the shop themselves clearly do not mind, and thats the important thing, what business is it of anyone else.

doormat Tue 13-May-03 08:26:50

You have my vote
Katierocket I will rise up with you

Britabroad Tue 13-May-03 08:18:37

We pay for them, pick up the stray ones of the floor - what's the problem ?
I say
Anyway mums with Toddlers probably spend more when shopping with our sprogs than when without so I can't see supermarkets worrying.
No one has voiced their objection to me as my 2 stuff their faces with the french stick!So I will carry on.

katierocket Tue 13-May-03 08:13:27

but noone who has posted has yet explained precisely why toddlers eating in supermarkets is such a heinous crime??? For me - my vote

actually forget Anarchy UK I'm going to start a 'mums with kids eating grapes in supermarkets' group! that's it - rise up sisters, join the revolution...

TheOldDragon Tue 13-May-03 08:08:12

Lock 'em all up and throw away the key!

My children would throw a tantrum if I offered them a grape in a supermarket.

Britabroad Tue 13-May-03 06:35:30

Thought of you guys today.
In supermarket in Auckland today DS aged teriible two having a tantrum cause wanted to eat the strawberries. Young guy a shelf stacker came over watched by his supervisor and asked if I was ok. Told him why DS was having paddy and he told me to give him strawberries and wait there. He came back and told DS it was ok to eat them now and they had been weighed and priced, which DS promptly did.
So what happens to the debate now if the staff think like me it's ok.
(Yes I am terrible mother as I didnt nip out and wash them!!!!)

suedonim Tue 13-May-03 04:57:21

Hey, sounds like a cool cat, Edgarcat! What colour is he? We've had three rescue cats in our time and now have a 'kampung' or village inbred cat in Jakarta. Rescue cats all seem to have such great characters! This one (imaginatively named Lucky by his previous owners cos he's black, but we call him 'Scabby' ) is great; he enjoys biting us (memo to self: get rabies jag organised) when he is not stuffing his face with food. We have a tabby and a Persian cat at home. She's 13 and a dumb blonde; spends most of her day staring at the wall!

And to get back on topic, to eating in the supermarket for me personally but for those who do, so long as sticky hands don't get wiped on me!

Nattie Tue 13-May-03 01:16:50

Goodness, there are a few knickers in twists. Judgementalism is on equal par to hypocrisy, IMO, as a deadly sin.

There seems to be an underlying objection to eating in public, which I've never understood, either.

What's the problem? If you don't like it, don't do it - but stop judging other parents who have different parenting tactics. It's NOT stealing as you're on your way to the checkout and the evidence is that the supermarkets actively encourage it - the cashiers at my local Tescos obviously expect it and take it in their stride.

My 2 year old dd snacks all the way through most mornings no matter how large or substantial her breakfast has been - which is normal in a 2 year old - I do the shop after I have dropped ds at school and it takes me up to 2 hours to do the weekly shop (I'm not a focussed shopper) so there's no way she'd last the trip without her blood sugar dropping out of control so, of course, I feed her and I refuse to take a bag full of pre-prepared stuff to a place that has shelves full of it. I don't feed her grapes as I don't want to have to deal with the resultant nappies (what on earth happens to the children who have scoffed a whole bunch?!). She usually snacks on marmite rice cakes and those cute boxes of raisins. And, of course, they all get paid for - not that I feel I have to justify myself to the nay-sayers.

Chill - there are more important things in life than counting how many grapes other people's children are eating.

Mocha Mon 12-May-03 23:43:57

I do my main shop online every fortnight as I don't drive. Our local Sainsburys used to have hand scanners, which I thought were brilliant; it meant that if I needed anything between deliveries I just scanned the items and put them straight under DD's pushchair. This facility is no longer available as not enough people were using it and I now have to balance the basket on top of the pushchair our push it one handed, which is not very easy. I think that they should have creches or provide secure areas for pushchairs to be left whilst we do our shopping.
Why don't we all bombard our local supermarkets with requests for creches for secure areas for pushchairs!!!!!:-):-):-):-)

tallulah Mon 12-May-03 23:14:36


Still shocked at sheer volume of posts..

Lulu, I know we're all trying to be funny now, but after a year on prozac & 2 years of counselling for severe depression I found your little flip comment quite uncalled for. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, of course, and you don't have to agree with me, but you don't know me or my background, so please, not so personal.

lilly72 Mon 12-May-03 22:26:54

I have literally been hysterical reading about chopping hands off...tits in mouths and grape stealers. My daughter is 18 months old and I only yesterday shovelled in grapes to keep her quiet. She also ate some scannable cheese and some bread. She has previously had currant buns and crisps also. Thanks for a good laugh...I will be watching in the supermarket next time!

tomps Mon 12-May-03 22:10:54

unsurprisingly a from mrs fagin

tomps Mon 12-May-03 21:54:40

Most toddlers are the perfect size for hiding a Posh Peg Bag behind while going through the checkout. Don't let them see it though or they might not be able to produce the required innocent expression if discovered. But I guess that depends on how many free chohcolates you've already bribed them with.

Linnet Mon 12-May-03 21:47:32

I have never fed my dd while walking around the supermarket. We always went shopping after lunch when she was little so she wasnt' hungry and she's not really the temper tantrum kind. I have seen people feeding their kids crisps or rolls etc. I don't see it as a problem so long as they pay for it at the end. Now dd is older she always tastes a grape or two. But she usually does that in M&S where they now have a small bunch or red and green grapes in a special little tasting tray so that you can taste them from there rather than out of the bags, great idea in my opinion.
And on the pegs issue my pegs used to be in a Harrods Carrier bag, posh or what? well I thought so, but it broke and now they are in a plain blue carrier bag,

Chinchilla Mon 12-May-03 21:23:40

This thread is great!

Mum2Toby - please stop SHOUTING all the eyes are going woozy reading your posts (And for the record, I am not saying that you are a drama queen etc, as per the other thread, you're a great gal, just a bit EXCITABLE) This is a bit of fun by the way. vote is a big

I do not see a problem eating scannable food, but I would not do it myself.

snickers Mon 12-May-03 21:17:17

Flippin ell gals - talk about a winner of a thread...

My vote

Thought about you all in tescos today - wondered whether there were any other mumnsnutters around having a crisis of concience with me! So obviously went around to the grapes section - but there were none left, just a smattering of spat pips. The security staff looked fraught and there was a police van with dogs outside, and a set of stocks had to be setup to teach errant mums a lesson. However, overripe tomatoes had to be paid for before you could throw them...

Come on ladies. Let she who hath not sinned cast the first stone (tomato).

griffy Mon 12-May-03 21:13:27

Not only is it OK - I'm beginning to think that it should be made compulsory!!

happyspider Mon 12-May-03 21:11:37

I was in M&S today and again ate my sandwich and water while waiting at the till!
Is it wrong? I don't care, it would be worse if they had to lift me because I have my current weight!
Again I paid, but I was very self conscious of all the mums around me, I am sure one of them winked at me as to give me her approval...
Eating in supermarkets will never be the same now!
My vote is :-) yes, as long as you pay at the end, it doesn't matter when you eat your food!

whymummy Mon 12-May-03 21:05:27


willow2 Mon 12-May-03 21:04:52

Not suggesting that you personally would look stupid wearing a packet of Quavers - I don't think it is a look that does anyone any favours.

willow2 Mon 12-May-03 21:04:10

Sed - have you ever been clothes shopping and found something you liked so much that you decided to wear it then and there? If so you would, I presume, have gone up to the till wearing said item of clothing and then paid for it (unless, of course, you are some crazy exhibitionist who, having paid for the item of clothing, then stripped off and changed in to it mid-store). The only difference between this and items of food is that you would look very stupid wearing a packet of Quavers.

WideWebWitch Mon 12-May-03 20:54:28

My vote

mammya Mon 12-May-03 20:49:48

And here's my vote:

Droile Mon 12-May-03 20:45:49

It is OK!

Ghosty Mon 12-May-03 20:42:10

... It IS OK ....

XAusted Mon 12-May-03 20:26:09

This thread gets funnier. Can't wait till Tallulah starts another one! Here's my vote.

breeze Mon 12-May-03 19:55:25

Has anyone actually seen a sigh saying do not eat any food until its paid for, because I know I have not.

yes I think that it is okay.

And for the record I wouldn't lose any sleep if ds had eaten 3 grapes. The amount these shops throw away for wastage is unbelievable. (yes I know its not the point before someone gets back on their soapbox)

whymummy Mon 12-May-03 19:54:20

i say chop the mother`s hands off!!
the day before our local sainsbury`s closed for renovations people went in there thinking that meat,dairy products an fruit and veg would be cheaper,WRONG!,at the end of the day they took everything to the nearest sainsbury`s,greedy buggers!!

Bobsmum Mon 12-May-03 19:45:21

Shall we exercise our democratic right and vote laydeez?

Yes eating food from trolleys is ok
No eating food from trolleys is not ok

and it's a from Bobsmum

edgarcat Mon 12-May-03 19:39:48

Message withdrawn

judetheobscure Mon 12-May-03 19:35:23

if it was one or two grapes I wouldn't fuss, but my ds eats a bunch (he's a bit like edgar ) I can't not pay for that.

edgarcat Mon 12-May-03 19:26:55

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edgarcat Mon 12-May-03 19:20:35

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whymummy Mon 12-May-03 19:13:07

no wonder this country is going downhill if all of you allow your kids to eat three grapes everytime you go to the supermarket

katierocket Mon 12-May-03 19:03:39

Mum2Toby - could not agree MORE. I just cannot understand why eating in supermarkets is "not a good idea". I always give DS crips or whatever and then scan the empty packet but really, a few grapes when we spend so much money in there.

Or is eating grapes in supermarkets the thin end of the wedge.....??? perhaps it's just indicitive of how this society is going to rack and ruin.. I'm sorry but I can't take this seriously

SoupDragon Mon 12-May-03 18:30:14

When DS2 is old enough to understand the concepts involved, he won't get fed in supermarkets.

Lil, great comment about paying for your meals in a restaurant before eating them

oxocube Mon 12-May-03 18:22:25

Tigermoth . I dare you to send it to Carrie, Justine et al as a genuine parenting tip

oxocube Mon 12-May-03 18:20:54

sorry sed, I must be without morals because, given the amount of money I spend in supermarkets, I would not be particularly upset if I left without (accidentally of course ) paying for a 24p triangle of brie. Wouldn't encourage kids to *deliberately* do this naturally, but I certainly wouldn't loose sleep over it. Now I'm off to join th 'World's Worst Mother' thread

tigermoth Mon 12-May-03 17:52:43

mumsnet tip : to keep your children happy while you are shopping in a supermarket, feed them grapes along the way.

doormat Mon 12-May-03 17:52:20

Actually been to solicitor and got some very good news
did go to tescos though. I held myself back from eating even though I was bloody starving.

doormat Mon 12-May-03 17:37:52

whymummy sorry not me
Kids call me a old witch but not dragon.
anyway been shopping all day
very conscious of all the grapes.

suedonim Mon 12-May-03 17:33:10

Edgarcat. Actually, I feel a bit mean poking fun at my sis now. She's a sweetie and just so old-fashioned that it wouldn't occur to her *not* to have a peg pinnie. BTW, do you really have a cat called Edgar?

pie Mon 12-May-03 17:31:03

I would like to point out that we are often talking about feeding small children who don't understand what waiting for you to pay for food entails. I think that it is more important when they are small to feed them as long as you intend to pay.

I mean it wasn't much more that 100 years ago when children where criminally punnished for stealing food when they were starving.

On a personal note, my great grandmother was a prominent land owner in Thailand when it was still classed as a third world country. She would take the majority of the crops and often leave her farmers to starve. If they were caught theiving they had their hands cut off.

Obviously if your child if old enough to understand what theft is and how to control their hunger than learning to wait is a valuable lesson.

On another note, if you kill someone accidentally without intent it is usually regarded as manslaughter, if there is intent then it is murder. Either way someone kills someone else. But we offer understanding in the first instance because of the intent. Perhaps it is equally important to teach children of a certain age that intent is an important thing, and that there are many grey areas in questions of morality and law. As long as you always pay at the end, so the child understands that there is always a price to pay I think that they can still understand the lesson that some people here think is paramount.

Lil Mon 12-May-03 17:19:01

OK ENOUGH SANCTIMONY, here's the definition:

steal (TAKE AWAY) verb [I][T] stole, stolen

-to take something without the permission or knowledge of the owner and keep it:

Does that clear it up?????possibly not!

JanZ Mon 12-May-03 17:17:45

I shop at Safeway, where you used to be able to weigh (and bar code) your fruit yourself, as well as at the check out. Whenever I tried doing that, the check out girl would still insist on weighing the grapes again - despite the fact that the reason I had done it myself was so to ensure that the grapes that ds had had on the way around were taken into account. At that time he was grape mad!

They've now taken away that facility of pre-weighing, but fortunately he has gone off grapes -now into raisins, which I can, if necessary, give him from a bar coded back.

I've also had to learn to get TWO bags of crisps - one for him to eat and the other for the girl to scan (reduces tantrums while he try to tak ethe bag off him to be scanned!)

He's also that wee bit older that I can explain to him that he can't have if we've not paid - I'm not sure how much a one year old would understand of that!

But the real thing I've learnt is to leave him at home with dh while I go and do the shopping on my own!

susanmt Mon 12-May-03 17:17:31

I think I saw something on TV once about this, and it is actually OK to eat in a supermarket from a legal point of view, as long as you intend to pay. It was someone making a point by going round eating as much as he could in a supermarket, and they cant stop you until you leave the shop, because until you take the products out of the store you've not 'stolen' them. SO as long as you intend to pay it is OK. I think.

Meid Mon 12-May-03 17:14:43

That is actually a good way of looking at it, Bobbins.
Still won't do it though!!!

Bobbins Mon 12-May-03 17:12:44

I don't see it as stealing. It's more of a loan and the supermarkets get paid back with interest, beacause parents can manage to stay longer in there, therefore spending more money.


Meid Mon 12-May-03 17:05:57

But surely eating something you haven't yet paid for is stealing. The question is whether or not you think it is a big deal.

In my opinion it ins't that much of a big deal - I am in no way bothered by people who do it. However, although my personal choice is not to give my DD anything that hasn't been paid for.

Mum2Toby Mon 12-May-03 16:48:37

I can't BELIEEEEEEEEEEVE people think that it's stealing!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to stop now before I say something that'll really offend all you people out there that would have me arrested for letting my son have grape whilst walking around the supermarket that my dp works in where I spent £160 yesterday. Hmmm.

Get a grip.


pie Mon 12-May-03 16:48:10

I would like to point out that with the tit in the mouth method payment may not reach you until you are 70 an incontinent, but alas some children will run off without paying.

edgarcat Mon 12-May-03 16:34:46

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suedonim Mon 12-May-03 16:33:24

Re peg bags. Don't any of you possess a flowery pinafore with a pocket for pegs on the front??? My sister does!!

edgarcat Mon 12-May-03 16:30:07

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judetheobscure Mon 12-May-03 16:29:48

pie - lol

judetheobscure Mon 12-May-03 16:29:12

Wouldn't dream of letting my ds snack on his grapes without paying for them. It doesn't matter that Sainsbury's or whoever is a big firm; other customers end up subsidising those who steal and it's not a very good message to give your child - that it's OK to steal.
(ducks under brick bats etc. )

musica Mon 12-May-03 16:28:02

Just come back from the shoe shop....ds tried on shoes and wore them to the till!!!! Before I'd paid for them!!! (Don't mean to be facetious, just I'd been reading the thread and it just occurred to me in the shop).

pie Mon 12-May-03 16:26:43

Obviously if your child is too young to understand the concept of stealing they are probably the right age for a tit in the mouth. Those trolleys are just about the right height and you'll find that most of the male staff are only too happy to help you pack the shopping.

Marina Mon 12-May-03 16:22:58

I've really enjoyed this thread too, thanks Tallulah for starting it. We have another snacker but go to a supermarket where there is always something interesting to try on offer at the entrance, and where you are offered a taste of anything from the deli if you are not sure of your choice. We do stick to pre-packed, because I'm a fruit-washer too, and because I don't want people to think we are taking anything it's problematic to pay for, and in two and a half years of weekly shopping I have never forgotten to stump up our 24p for our individual triangle of Camembert. It's ds' little treat for being pretty good and helpful round the supermarket, helping us choose salads, veg and deli items. Considering we spend in excess of 400 times that amount weekly, I don't feel at all uneasy about this and clearly neither do the shop management.

Meid Mon 12-May-03 16:21:22

Sed, you are not alone in your opinion. I'm not sure I share your passion in the subject - I think it is between the individual and their conscience. However, I don't give my DD food I haven't paid for as I believe it is stealing and therefore setting a bad example.

mammya Mon 12-May-03 16:18:36

This thread is hilarious, it's funny what people can get worked up about...
For the record, I'm with the "rather a snack than a tantrum" brigade here. Always something that's got a barcode, mind, and I always pay for it.
Also agree with slug re: baskets (I don't drive either and I know what you mean...)
I've tried internet shopping but got fed up with the stupid substitutions (especially when I specified NO substitutions)
Finally, clothe pegs: I use a little rattan basket, is that posh or not?

cori Mon 12-May-03 16:08:28

I have just come from shoppung trip with Ds 16 months.He snacked on Cheese String while we were there. I did consider that giving him this might teach him that he can eat anything in the supermarket he likes but i think by the time he is old enough to understand the concept of stealing he will also understand the concept of paying for things.
By the way , i am from Australia, it is considered perfectly natural to try fruit such as grapes or cherries before you buy them.

hoxtonchick Mon 12-May-03 16:06:12

This thread is too funny. DS (15 months) gets a snack going round the supermarket if he's creating, but is usually too busy trying to nick things from passing shelves. He does invariably kick off when we get to the till though, so then those nice people have to help us pack & have even offered to help us down to the carpark. His favourite is cherry tomatoes - the pre-priced packs of course

Mum2Toby Mon 12-May-03 16:00:19

Sed - I think you are WAAAAAY overreacting here. As I said - my dp works in one of these Supermarkets and the staff DONT MIND!!!! And if they don't mind then who are we talking about here??? Am I to assume that we don't do it just in case it offends another mother who has very different 'morals' regarding this???

Just exactly who are we trying not to upset?

Lil Mon 12-May-03 15:55:13

sed do you pay for your meals in a restaurant BEFORE eating them??????

that's not theft

griffy Mon 12-May-03 15:50:01

sed - am tempted to say "get a life". What I do in the supermarket is none of your business, but am worried that it might come across as confrontational and horrid

But truthfully, I can't see why anyone's got a problem with it. I'm happy. DS is happy and not bothering ANYONE, and the supermarket staff all seem over the moon for him to eat whatever he likes - and we ALWAYS pay. It's only theft if you actually walk out of the store without having paid.

sed Mon 12-May-03 15:32:53

I can't believe I'm reading this thread. I honestly don't think I'm moralistic or a control freak - but the food simply isn't yours till you've paid for it. Yes, the supermarkets make big profits, yes, you plan to pay for it, but again that isn't the point. It's stealing.
(Don't you also worry that you'll forget one day and walk out without paying for the stuff your kids have already eaten?)
Am I a completely lone voice? Should I have changed my name?

easy Mon 12-May-03 14:40:12

Hi everyone, Brilliant thread, I've just spent nearly an hour reading it all (how long can I make my post-operation recuperation last? I have tons of time for mumsnet while I can't do laundry, cooking etc)

You all stop at unweighed grapes?? Last year my ds developed a passion for fresh peas, and I used to give him 3 or 4 pods to open and eat the peas from while I was shopping. see, no problem with washing them. One day I offered him smarties, and he chose peas instead (shocked me too).

I agree that the supermarkets make enough profits from us to withstand parents doing this. If profits rose, I don't think they'd pay the staff more anyway, they would just pay shareholders a bigger dividend.

When it's not the pea season, then ds often has a packet of crisps or sommink, then we pay at the end. He reads his comic while we're going round too, and pay for that at the end.

Oh, my posh plastic peg basket broke last week (helped by ds) Now I keep my pegs in a Sainsbury's carrier bag. Posh, me ???

judetheobscure Mon 12-May-03 14:37:12

My ds (20 months) clamours for grapes when he sees them. I pre-weigh them, then he gets a small bag. Will stop letting him do this when he's old enough to understand that he can eat them when we get home. My others 3, 5, 7 don't bother asking for food in the shop although I usually let them choose something for eating at home for lunch.

judetheobscure Mon 12-May-03 14:34:22

Re internet shopping - I do mine with Tesco's and it takes me between 5 and 10 minutes to do the whole shop, plus putting the shopping away when it's been delivered. Worth every penny. And 95% of the time they can deliver next day, although admittedly I am a sahm so that makes finding a time slot easier.
I go the shops maybe once a month with one or more children because I think it's good for them. Plus once a week I pop into the small local supermarket to buy more milk, bread etc.
Can't emphasise enough, what a difference internet shopping has made to my life.

beetroot Mon 12-May-03 14:31:28

ahhhh - a voice of reason

custardo Mon 12-May-03 14:28:58

well said beetroot.

i think there is too much judging going on and if i want to give my toddler a bag of cheesy watsits to ease the dreadful time of shopping to give me even 3 minutes piece. if this is how i chose to parent. if this floats my boat. if this is how i deal with things, then who is anyone else to judge.

my kids arnt that small anymore and they are at an age where they either stay in the car listening to music, or come with me and help. but when they were younger things were fraught all the time. i seemed to be running and rushing around - everywhere i looked people were judging - dont feed your child this or that - dont clothe them in this or that - dont smack them, dont botle feed them, suger free drinks only, fruit only, organic produce - the sodding list is endless isnt parenting hard enough?

even i eat a grape or three sometimes for goodness sake!

beetroot Mon 12-May-03 14:13:00

pick up a carrot or apple and another the same size. Child happly munches away then when you get to the counter the other one is weighed to see how much it would of cost!!!!! Very simple. NEVER had any complaints from staff EVER.

Going tothe supermarket is not fun for anyone least of all a 1/2/3/4/5/6 year old when they have to stay with you and cannot be sent off to help. Why on earth have petty (IMO) rules that will end up making the shopping trip even more boring.

Not sure why children shouldnt eat in supermarkets .....? Have I missed this bit onthe thread?

Lulu41 Mon 12-May-03 14:11:39

Tossum your post made me laugh - I think Tallulah should take a chill pill because I have read both your posts ie. this one and the other one about other peoples kids misbehaving. Being a parent is hard work and not always easy as a mum of 4 you should know that.

Droile Mon 12-May-03 14:05:04

I'm with marynz too. I would be very wary of eating a pre-packed snack or piece of fruit that I had bought from another shop beforehand. They might think I was stealing it. I like to have the receipt handy in case I'm questioned, and I like it to have been bought from the supermarket I'm in. Seems cheeky otherwise.

Droile Mon 12-May-03 14:00:34

I'm with prufrock - I had to eat or collapse when pregnant. It comes over you quite suddenly too. When pregnant with DS1, I had to take snacks to work to eat just before my lunchtime, as a woman in my office always insisted on taking the earliest lunch-break, leaving me to wait until 1pm for my lunch. I would have fainted clean away to wait that long.

Droile Mon 12-May-03 13:52:18

Come to think of it, I often put a toy in the baby's hands to keep him amused and if he's mangled it beyond recognition, usually feel guilty enough to pay for it at the end rather than put it back. Usually.

Mum2Toby Mon 12-May-03 13:52:17

Yes Lil... my ds isn't even 2 yet. I'm not going to lecture him on the moral implications of eating a grape before the check out.

Lil Mon 12-May-03 13:49:33

sed, most of us here are referring to their little pre-schoolers here. I think lessons in stealing can wait until they have learnt what money is!!! (and where it comes from, and what paper rounds are for?)

Droile Mon 12-May-03 13:48:22

No time to read through all this, but my solution has always been to buy DS's snack/fruit etc first, ie grab it, go to fast checkout, pay for it then shove it in his hot little hand and get on with shopping in peace.
Sorry if this has been said.

sed Mon 12-May-03 13:34:05

Absolutely never. I tell the children that eating stuff you haven't paid for is stealing. Whether or not you intend to pay for it later is beside the point.
Feel very strongly about this one.

wigglybitsAKASamboM Mon 12-May-03 13:24:36

Oh dear I always stuff my face all the way round
Waitrose. Am I a revolting monster? The reason being that I can only bring myself to go shopping when I have had no food in the house for 2 days and am ready to eat own arm.

cerp Mon 12-May-03 13:17:11

Hi, I am new to mumsnet and this is the first thing I have read on here and I have to say that it is hysterical. I have to take a 3 year old and a 1 year old shopping with me every week. Dh can't do it because he works long hours. I shop in Asda and as you go through the door they have a stand with tubs of muffins/mini doughnuts. I pick up one of these and my kids munch them on the way round. They are prepriced so I don't have a problem with it. It saves them fighting in the trolley and I get to shop in semi-peace. My kids don't eat in clothes shops because they don't see anything there that they would like to eat.

Look forward to reading more threads like this one, it has made my day.

TheOldDragon Mon 12-May-03 13:16:04

Hahahahaha! (evil cackle).

It's funny though, I always imagined that it would be easy to spot who people were when using a different name. I thought the style would be glaringly obvious.

whymummy Mon 12-May-03 13:15:33

welcome cerp

cerp Mon 12-May-03 13:13:51

Hi, I am new to mumsnet and this is the first thing I have read on here and I have to say that it is hysterical. I have to take a 3 year old and a 1 year old shopping with me every week. Dh can't do it because he works long hours. I shop in Asda and as you go through the door they have a stand with tubs of muffins/mini doughnuts. I pick up one of these and my kids munch them on the way round. They are prepriced so I don't have a problem with it. It saves them fighting in the trolley and I get to shop in semi-peace. My kids don't eat in clothes shops because they don't see anything there that they would like to eat.

Look forward to reading more threads like this one, it has made my day.

edgarcat Mon 12-May-03 13:09:42

Message withdrawn

whymummy Mon 12-May-03 13:08:00

edgarcat or doormat???

XAusted Mon 12-May-03 13:05:42

Good idea. Or what about trollies with built-in strait jackets? edgarcat, nobody on floor 8 of the multi storeys round here ever has a golden retriever in their mouth.
I've got a peg bag which hangs on the line but still have to hold spare pegs in my teeth. I like my pegs to match on each item of washing so the non-matching ones have to be stored somewhere.
Have to go to Tesco for dog food later. Can't wait. Will be looking out for all the mumsnetters whose kids are eating all the profits.

Mum2Toby Mon 12-May-03 13:04:41

Whymummy - who is she????

whymummy Mon 12-May-03 13:00:25

don`t forget the sello tape olddragon,i think i know who you are

TheOldDragon Mon 12-May-03 12:58:13

Our Tescos does have a lockable cage. I think you're meant to put your (paid for) shopping in there whilst you have a coffee in the cafe but hey, if it keeps the little monsters out of trouble...

As to who I am, I'm not telling (phthrrrrrup). I'm off to Clarkes to take some misbehaving children to task by supergluing their trousers to the seats.

whymummy Mon 12-May-03 12:53:55

you should put sellotape over your kids mouths in supermarkets,there also should be a big cage in every supermarket to lock the kids in

Mum2Toby Mon 12-May-03 12:53:11

Who are you TheOldDragon????

Mum2Toby Mon 12-May-03 12:48:10

Good point TheOldDragon!! No more grapes for ds..... I've been converted.... theiving gypsies that you all are!! It's because of people like you 'grape-robbers' that we have a huge overdraft and a bankloan!! Humph.

TheOldDragon Mon 12-May-03 12:46:55

I think I might keep this identity actually. I'm quite fond of it already.

Batters Mon 12-May-03 12:44:30

TheOldDragon - I like your style !

TheOldDragon Mon 12-May-03 12:42:54

And if those pesky children hadn't eaten all those grapes, the staff would have got a bigger payrise! They should spray the grapes with a strong sedative to knock the children out after one bite that would sort it.

Mum2Toby Mon 12-May-03 12:39:29

My dp works in one the afore mentioned hugely profitable supermarkets and when I told him about this thread he thought it was hilarious! The staff would much rather have calm children in the shop at the cost of a few grapes! PLUS if the children are calm, you'll spend more time in the shop and spend more money.

So it benefits the profits rather than damages them!

And another thing. This particular supermarket chain keeps announcing record profits.... 3 years running and only gave it's staff a 2.8% pay rise when the maximum is 5%!!! Work THAT one out...... b**tards!!

A few f*cking grapes, so what!! CALM!

TheOldDragon Mon 12-May-03 12:28:14

I was in Tescos today and I spotted a 3 year old finishing off a WHOLE STEM OF GRAPES! My how I chuckled to myself as I frog marched him off to the security office. Lock him up and throw away the key, that's the only answer.

Lindy Mon 12-May-03 10:55:47

Only just caught up with this thread - it's great. I'm a bit like Ghosty, living in a rural area it's a real treat to get out & go to a supermarket - how sad is that!! My DS always eats as we go round - much better than having a tantram - of course it's something with packaging you can 'scan' at the till - although he may have had the odd grape or two (unwashed).

Talking about stealing - in our nearest Tesco there are 'free' nappies - presumably for emergancies - I have seen parents taking handfulls & stuffing them into their bags - that to me is stealing.

Totally agree that eating in a non-food shop is not on.

Lil Mon 12-May-03 10:53:39

Oh come on... do any of you mums of grape eaters know how much profit the supermarkets make out of you. Its extortionate. And considering the £1,000s we all spend per year in Sainsbury's they can afford a few grapes to satisfy a bored pre-schooler. In fact they should do more to help us exhausted mums!!

susanmt Mon 12-May-03 09:53:24

I would never feed my children something I wasn't paying for, but I do regulary give them a bit of bread - like the end of a baguette or a roll out of a packet. But anything else has to be paid for before it is eaten. I always take cups of juice with me, and maybe I shoudl be more organised and sort out food as well, but it is so easy to do it in the shop and I always pay for when they eat, so I can't see what the problem would be.

suedonim Mon 12-May-03 09:52:35

LOL at some of these posts!! I have to say, either supermarket feeders are very brave or I'm very repressed - and I suspect it's the latter. My mother dinned it into us as children that you "do NOT eat in public unless you are in a restaurant" and I have to say, her brainwashing was very effective. That, combined with the threat that a policeman would cart me off if ever I stole anything, meant I never considered giving any of my children food in a supermarket nor in their prams - I can hear my mother's dulcet tones now! I can't even eat a bar of chocolate when I'm out unless I'm about to faint and even then I'm consumed with guilt, in case Big Mother is watching me.

slug Mon 12-May-03 09:46:42

I'm just waiting for the supermarkets to come up with either a trolley you can use with a buggy or a park with locks for one. We don't all drive you know! Actually I do, but our local Tesco's is only 5 minutes away so I don't take the car unless I'm taking home large and heavey items (like potatoes). In the meantime I'm forced to balnce a heavey basket on my arm, while manouvering the buggy around while feeding the sluglet dried fruit from one of the little bags I have in every pocket of every one of my jackets. I have permanent bruises on my arm from the damn things!

Crunchie Mon 12-May-03 09:44:55

Chinchilla, That's me in ASDA letting my kids eat all the food!!! Also mine are the kids playing dodgems with the kiddy trolleys, ripping the comics etc etc :0

This thread is priceless, almost on a par with GF! I do give my kids food to eat on the way round, and yes I pay at the end like we all do, they sometimes have 3 or 4 grapes too! Sorry. However as my kids have now got older, I can explain that they get one thing to choose and have to wait until we are out and have paid for it. They are now 4 and 2 (the 2 yr old copies the 4 yr old, so that's OK) but I have had some of the best/worst tantrums in supermarkets. My older girl ended up lying on the floor outside ASDA where I dumped her for nearly 10 mins when she was 2 ( I really couldn't control her at this stage, and I had a newborn with me).

This is such a non subject, but very funny

Tossum Mon 12-May-03 09:35:23

bah! bloody reload button posting twice!

Tossum Mon 12-May-03 09:34:22

When I go to tesco, I eat loads of stuff so I dont have to pay for it: bunch of grapes, or some olives for starters, then off to the meat counter for raw steak (fillet of course), or a fish if its friday, then a load of cheese. I get caught sometimes cos the blood runs down my chin.

Tossum Mon 12-May-03 09:32:11

When I go to tesco, I eat loads of stuff so I dont have to pay for it: bunch of grapes, or some olives for starters, then off to the meat counter for raw steak (fillet of course), or a fish if its friday, then a load of cheese. I get caught sometimes cos the blood runs down my chin.

bouncy Mon 12-May-03 09:15:40

Last year my DS had an accident and leaked out of his nappy while in a supermarket. The manager came over to me, and advised that I open the packet of nappy's I had in my trolley and use the wipes to clean him up with in the baby changing facility. I was very pleased of this as I would of had to take DS home to clean and not do my shopping. I also let ds snack and pay at counter, it makes things a whole lot easier for me. i think people should do what they feel is best, if teaching your child not to ask is fine, but hardly a reason to complain when others do it.
I was out shopping and DS was happily chomping on a bag of crisps I was going to pay for and some doddy old dear said to me "I hope you are going to pay for that", what is had to do with her is beyond me.
I wish I had a perfect life and say 'no' no my son as he excepts that, but I do not have a perfect son and wasn't aware that anyone else did either. (sorry to rant due on)

monkey Mon 12-May-03 08:58:03

Actually, if my kids would eat plain old grapes I'd be happy. They love grapes, but if they bite into a seed they have a charming habit of spitting out in horror, so on the rare occasions I buy grapes, I have to slave away halving & de-seeding, truly a labour of love! (can't get seedles grapes here).

I'm a bit taken aback by eg gosh2's post.

Here also no supermarkets have creches, there is no such thing as internest supermarket shopping, even if they get fed before we go, 1.5 hours later, with loads of food in their faces, they want to eat, and finally, supermarket shopping is a pain in the bum, and they deserve a crust of bread to help them through it.

Oh, and I also don't have the luxury of a dh who can or will do it either!

edgarcat Mon 12-May-03 08:57:46

Message withdrawn

Ghosty Mon 12-May-03 02:51:42

Have just caught up with this thread ... wot a larf girls!!!
Personally I LOVE going to the supermarket ... highlight of my week ... in fact I try to forget stuff on my list so that I can go everyday ... sometimes even twice a day!
Also I LOVE those car shaped trolley ... it is me who has the tantrum if there aren't any left ... DS says, 'It's ok mummy ... I'll go in a trolley instead' and sidles off so that he is not connected to the mental woman throwing a wobbly.
Also ... We eat on the way round (but I DO pay for it) ... WHAT'S THE PROBLEM PEOPLE???
Oh and I personally don't think there is anything wrong with giving a child an icecream just before going into a clothes shop ... that way they can touch something you really want and you can persuade the staff to knock something off the price as some dreadful person has smeared something yukky down the front ....

PS ... scummmymummy ... your comment about eating clothes and appliances had me ROFL ... thanks ...

judetheobscure Mon 12-May-03 00:24:30

Sometimes I find it very hard getting past the grapes counter without giving my ds3 (20 months old) some. We have a weigh and price facility so I do that first - often buy two bags, one for ds, the other for later. The bag for ds will be finished by the time we get to the till but will be swiped through just like the other shopping. My older children don't get anything. They have to wait till we get home. When my ds3 understands the concept of having them later then he won't get any either.

Mum2Toby Sun 11-May-03 23:03:36


Bobsmum Sun 11-May-03 23:01:24

This thread is sooooo cool - i can actually see mumsnetters' hackles rising and teeth baring.
Hasn't anyone seen the slot on the Johnny Vaughan show where Richard Bacon (sullied ex Blue Peter blokie) visits a different supermarket each week and attempts to eat as much produce as poss before getting chucked out by security. One week I think he had a quiche with a pot of coleslaw and several pepperami before being cornered- fantastic stuff! Eventually a memo went round Asda warning staff to be more vigilant so he wore a v attractive Bellamy-esque beard the following week - classic veiwing.

Demented Sun 11-May-03 22:46:06

Custardo has quite a take on what's posh or what's middle class etc. Discussions about growing your own herbs and having brass taps etc. I just wondered what status peg bags had.

SofiaAmes Sun 11-May-03 22:36:33

You could always try my method...One time I was so irritated about non-parents parking in all the parent and toddler spaces at Sainsbury's that I demanded to see the manager and gave him such an earful that he gave me a whole bag of cherries (selling for £6 a pound) for ds to eat while we were shopping and a £10 off my shopping coupon. I'm sure everyone thought we'd "stolen" them.

happyspider Sun 11-May-03 22:34:45

have reread my posting and had to laugh as well, as at my stage in pregnancy cannot blame this on the wine or any other alchol I can only say spell check not working here...By the way, have you ever drunk wine or alcopops in supermarket and taken the empty bottle to the till?
that would be an idea and would make the whole shopping with kids experience more fun...
Just an idea
Going to bed now, good night all, this thread really gave me a chuckle

SofiaAmes Sun 11-May-03 22:33:01

oh no, could somone please enlight a dumb crass american....why aren't you supposed to put the parking ticket in your mouth? Is it because you are going to give your germs to the person taking your money, or get germs from the person who loaded the ticket machine? Or is it just bad manners for no particular reason?

griffy Sun 11-May-03 22:28:07

Wickedwaterwitch - on rainy weekend afternoons, when DS was just toddling my friend and I used to take him - along with his small partner in crime - to large out of town carpet shops and electrical stores, where they'd an hour or two chuntering up and down the aisles delightedly!

Mum2Toby Sun 11-May-03 22:17:42

Is she very posh?

She can't be as posh as me, I even have my pegs colour coordinated.

Demented Sun 11-May-03 22:10:53

I think we'd better ask Custardo!

Mum2Toby Sun 11-May-03 22:08:52

Demented - we have one of those too.... a floral kind of knitted thing.... NICE. Am I posh?

I still like to chew on a peg every now and again. It stops me smoking.

Mum2Toby Sun 11-May-03 22:07:33

Xhausted - by the amount we spent it fecking well better last the year!!!!!!


Demented Sun 11-May-03 22:07:11

I hate those cars in the shopping centres mainly because they are so expensive (around here anyway) and DS1 always has a paddy about wanting one.

We've got a little peg bag that hangs on the line, keeps them nice and handy so you don't need to use your teeth, but then we are very posh! (ha, ha, ha!!!)

XAusted Sun 11-May-03 22:06:42

Two hours, M2T!! What was it, the yearly shop? Really better go now. DH has given me a stern look.

Mum2Toby Sun 11-May-03 22:03:11

Well strike me down with a bolt of lightening and arrest me for theft!!

I was at the supermarket today and my ds had a couple of grapes (unwashed! have I poisoned him?).

Not only that but we put a toy car in the trolley coz ds had been so good all the way around (2hours). We let him take it out of the box to play with it and the guy scanned the box and put it in the bin for us.

I ALWAYS taste grapes and Cherries before buying them after I spent £2 on a bag of grapes that were so bitter they were binned.

I really can't see a problem with kids eating in a Supermarket??? I mean, is it RRRRRRRREALLY that bad, am I missing some huge moral reason? I've made sandwiches for ds to eat whilst we do our shopping and that was his lunch? Is this also disgusting behaviuor????

Pllllllllease enlighten me.

edgarcat Sun 11-May-03 21:58:39

Message withdrawn

XAusted Sun 11-May-03 21:58:04

Have you read 1984? One of the proles did it when hanging washing out. I'm a prole! Better not get started on obsessive habits with laundry. Will be here all night and must go to bed.

edgarcat Sun 11-May-03 21:54:49

Message withdrawn

XAusted Sun 11-May-03 21:53:29

edgarcat, bet you don't hold pegs in your mouth when your putting your washing out either. Obviously very well brung up.

edgarcat Sun 11-May-03 21:50:06

Message withdrawn

XAusted Sun 11-May-03 21:48:59

One of the shopping centres in our town has little cars for young children which you can borrow to push round the shops instead of a buggy. They're quite fun and have a big net bag on the handlebar for your shopping. As a security measure, you have to get your child a "driving licence", complete with photo, before you can take one away and leave your buggy behind.

Demented Sun 11-May-03 21:44:07

Yes Soupdragon. We encountered those on our very first shopping trip with DS2. DS1 was desperate for one and couldn't understand that we couldn't use one as it had nowhere for DS2. Not so good when he was feeling a bit fragile and I would have loved to have treated him to a ride in one.

XAusted Sun 11-May-03 21:42:55

I let my ds have his own little trolley just once. Had to take it off him somewhere in the fresh meats aisle because he thought it was a bumper car. He had a huge paddy and I had to go home before I could finish my shopping.

Twink Sun 11-May-03 21:42:42

This is brilliant !
Done Internet shopping; also 'smash & grab' style, ie dd sits in trolley and I get speed awards hoping no-one notices the noise; feed my way around the store like most of you and now at almost 4, we seem to have entered 'civilisation' (not that it will last, I've no illusions).
Dd likes racing around collecting apples, peppers etc and knows where most of our things are (Mummy, I can't reach dad's beer..) but her willingness to help is DIRECTLY proportional to my stress/hormone levels, if I'm in a bad way most of our supermarket will be checking out NSPCC phone numbers because she knows how to really make her mark. All the people who smile and go 'ah' when she's being, in her words 'a really useful engine' are the first to 'tutt' and 'hiss' when I'm throwing my dummy

doormat Sun 11-May-03 21:40:42

soupdragon those bloody cars are head wrecking arent they. My ds whos 2 used to throw a tantrum (not going into that one again heehee)if he could not get in one. Plus what makes it worse is they dont hold alot of shopping.Worst thing tesco done IMO

Chinchilla Sun 11-May-03 21:39:52

HappySpider - had to laugh at you taking back 'staff' after 6 years! Weren't they working hard or something!

SoupDragon Sun 11-May-03 21:38:38

XAusted, they used to have those in Sainsburys (pre children for me) and I could not work out why they thought it was a good idea!

Now, do the parents pay for the contents of this little trolleys or just abandon them at the checkout...

XAusted Sun 11-May-03 21:34:52

I'll tell you what's worse, Soupdragon, and that's those little child size trollies for kiddies to push round Asda. They have a flag with a witty slogan like "trainee shopper" on. 3 year olds with their own trollies are lethal.

whymummy Sun 11-May-03 21:34:44

happyspider did she get it changed????

SoupDragon Sun 11-May-03 21:29:00

Still on supermarkets but off track from the eating... does anyone else hate those car shaped trolleys in Tescos? The worst tantrums I ever got from DS2 were because he had to get out of them at the end. (and he still needed his wholemeal bread roll from pre-packed pre-priced pack of 4 to keep him quiet)

happyspider Sun 11-May-03 21:27:22

I have heard of somebody taking back staff to a well known shop after 6 years! It was an umbrella they had received as a present and she decided she did not really like it afterwards...

tigermoth Sun 11-May-03 21:25:32

oh what would I give for children who would eat and shut up! Mine love supermarket shopping, love food full stop, love throwing the wrong sorts of goodies into my trolly, love climbing in and out of the trolly while it is moving (youngest one), love (like scummy's sons) debating loudly about the relative merits of breakfast cereals, love running all over the place to hunt out the pancake mix, bananas and chocolate sauce (current favourite meal) love interrogating the assistants. Eating food while on their adventure is the last thing on their minds.

morocco Sun 11-May-03 21:24:59

I know some people who go clothes shopping and try on loads of dresses without ever meaning to buy a thing!!

XAusted Sun 11-May-03 21:23:52

Actually, eating in the supermarket is probably safer than what I do which is to eat in the car (after I've taken the ticket out of my mouth, of course). I'm always starving after shopping so I'm always scoffing something at the wheel. Could distract me from my otherwise perfect driving. Also means car gets full of crumbs.

XAusted Sun 11-May-03 21:21:39

I frequently used to get to the checkout with some of the shopping wrecked, eg, loaves of bread squashed, boxes of cornflakes torn, due to ds "helping" me. The checkout operators always offered to replace the damaged items but I was always too honest to accept. One time I had some prepacked cheese with huge teethmarks in. They didn't offer to replace that for some reason.

SoupDragon Sun 11-May-03 21:21:13

I always find that my mouth starts to water uncontrollably, either because I'm paranoid about getting the ticket soggy or because I've not eaten enough food in the supermarket.

Demented Sun 11-May-03 21:20:14

Sorry our posts crossed XAusted. I'm so slow tonight.

Demented Sun 11-May-03 21:18:56

Soupdragon, the secret is to keep it between your teeth, not actually in your mouth, so you end up driving round the car park with a really silly wide grin on your face. Something like this !

XAusted Sun 11-May-03 21:16:50

You just kinda hold it between your lips/teeth. Don't put the whole thing in your mouth though as this will probably dissolve all the ink on it. If the theory of evolution was true we'd all have an extra pair of hands then we wouldn't have a problem with where to put tickets.

WideWebWitch Sun 11-May-03 21:16:13

Lol @ tomps, snickers and oxocube! This thread is hilarious. OK, get this then, a friend of mine used to take her kids to the local Toys R Us *just* so they could take all the toys off the shelves and play with them She had no intention of buying anything in there, ever, it just killed a couple of hours on a dull afternoon...Now, where do you put the shopping list if you've had to take it out of your mouth to neck a few grapes?

doormat Sun 11-May-03 21:14:46

Xausted I had this when Iceland delivered some groceries. They gave me an extra 3 bags of shopping.They were full of meat and ice-cream. I phoned the store to tell them what had happened and that the bags were in my freezer ready for collection. (I felt very guilty that someone was missing out on there shopping)They thanked me for my honesty and told me to keep it.

SoupDragon Sun 11-May-03 21:13:15

How do you stop the carpark ticket going soggy??

Claireandrich Sun 11-May-03 21:11:58

Our local ASDA and Sainsburys have no problems with children having something from a pre-paid or barcoded product. So long as you pay obviously. I wouldn't wat mysef. As I said I generally take snacks anyway but if shopping on way home from nursery it can be hard.

tomps Sun 11-May-03 21:09:59

If you don't take your kids shopping, where are you going to hide all the small stuff when you go through the checkout ?

Chinchilla Sun 11-May-03 21:08:13

I think that it is a conspiracy. All the healthy items in the shops (bananas/grapes/bread rolls) are weighable, and all the cr*p is scannable. Not sure who is head of this conspiracy, but hey, I'm paranoid!

Furball, I agree with you in principle, I would just give ds something that could be accurately paid for (i.e. something in a wrapper), so that I felt more 'honest'. I do not understand why, maybe I'm just mad...actually that is a very big possibility

I had a colleague who used to take her step-children into supermarkets and open all the multi-packets of crisps, to get the Tazzos from the bottom, without having to pay for the crisps. I think that is awful, and would feel as bad if I had given ds something without paying for it, even a grape.

XAusted Sun 11-May-03 21:07:30

Berlimey, we can't half talk about supermarkets, can't we!!!
Gosh2, I have to take the car park ticket out of my mouth in order to put my shopping list in my mouth instead. Perhaps if I put the ticket in one child's mouth and the list in the other child's mouth it would stop them getting hungry.
I like shopping online. They don't always deliver exactly what you order so sometimes it's a nice surprise!! Also, sometimes they deliver something completely out of the blue and you get to keep it cos it's not worth them coming back for it. I got 12 free yoghurts that way recently and 18 choc mini rolls before that.

Demented Sun 11-May-03 21:04:04

OK I wasn't going to say anything because I have already expressed my views on this subject in the past but hey I'm bored so here goes!

I have a DS1 (aged 4) and a DS2 (aged 11 months) and I in all honesty can say that they have never been given anything to eat on the way round the supermarket that hasn't been paid for. I take a snack and a drink from home for them, usually get DS1 to eat this on the way to the supermarket and DS2's is kept in case he is grizzly on the way round. All the supermarkets in my area have cafes that provide childrens meals and snacks at reasonable prices and usually offer free jars of baby food and I find this useful to fall back on if shopping time coincides with dinner.

All the nicked grapes (I'm not talking about trying one to see if they are any good) and bananas etc add up. I understand what others are saying about giving them something to eat that you are going to pay for (something in a barcoded packet) but I have taken the personal decision to teach my children not to eat or use something until it is paid for. Example being a couple of weeks ago my DS2 took a fancy to a teddy in the George dept of ASDA, I thought it was cute and he might like to play with it on the way round the shop, I could have paid with it along with my shopping but decided to pay for it in the George dept before my DS2 got it to play with. I'm not necessarily saying I am right as I can understand what others are saying that it makes no difference as long as the goods are paid for it is just the way I feel and the example I want to give my children.

BTW I put the parking ticket between my teeth when in a multi-story car park. Where else do you put it without causing an accident?

Furball Sun 11-May-03 21:02:17

Well its partly YOUR fault that DS (21 months) gets fed on the way round, starting with bananas, biscuits then crips, I know! - All paid for at the end, I hasten to add. I always said I'd never do that, but you guys on another thread said it was fine, so now I do.

I think the point is, in a clothes shop they cannot see things to eat. Toy shops are different, again, it is all there to tempt them! and yes I have also unwrapped a 'Harold the Helicopter' then buying an empty box.

Which is worse a screaming child or one eating a banana? As I am the one six inches away from said child - I prefer the banana.

snickers Sun 11-May-03 21:02:00

oxocube - don't forget to leave the window open a crack though - it'd be cruel otherwise...

ScummyMummy Sun 11-May-03 21:01:20

Oh I'm enjoying this thread very much! Thanks Tallulah.

snickers Sun 11-May-03 21:00:52

The trick with online shopping is to get them to deliver all the dull stuff like tinned goods, and washing powders, cleaning stuff, catfood, nappies etc etc all of which you know is the same stuff time after time. THEN you can go and support your local shops, and get your meat from the butchers, veggies from the grocers etc etc. The kids benefit more from this probably - it's much more personal!

(Then you can shout across to the friendly grocer "Oi - is it OK if my kids have a coupla grapes to try? - don't suppose you'd be a dear and run them under the tap for me" LOL )

oxocube Sun 11-May-03 21:00:36

Aaahhhhhh, Have you no lives, people who stress about 3 grapes! And I must add that I feel COMPLETELY pissed off with the argument that you should leave your kids elsewhere whilst you shop.(Sure, on their own in the car maybe) My kids are 7, 5 and 19 months, I shop most days, they come with me, I spend a *fortune* at my local supermarket and, IMO, they welcome me and my constantly hungry children. My dh is often away, I live with no family nearby, friends are min 10 kms away, and why the hell should my I have to *internet shop* Who exactly am I offending?

griffy Sun 11-May-03 20:58:18

To all of you who are *offended* by me giving my DS food in the supermarket:

1) No, I can't leave him at nursery while I shop, because I don't have that luxury - while he's in nursery (full-time), I work (full-time).

2) No, I don't WANT to do it on the bleeding internet, and have some spotty youth picking and substituting all the wrong things, whilst palming me off with their grottiest fresh stuff. At the same time, I can't afford the most expensive stuff, and I get by by buying lots of marked down food that doesn't appear on the web.

3) DS does not drive, so can't do the big shop.

4) I'm not doing anyone else any harm, and I actually like doing it this way, so get off my case.

doormat Sun 11-May-03 20:57:44

I love shopping and I have never eaten anything without paying for it. I have never stole anything in my life. My ds does get fed before he goes too!! I cant understand what all the fuss is about.
P.S I would never eat in clothes/electrical shops etc nor would I allow my children as it has signs before you walk in one of them being
does it actually have this sign in a supermarket entrance, I think not.

maryz Sun 11-May-03 20:57:35

Be careful about taking snacks - I once had an argument in a supermarket when they asked me to pay for a bottle of water and an apple which ds had eaten which I had taken in with me! My kids always get a breadroll, for which I pay, and they also like shopping on Friday when all the free tastings are on. I wouldn't dream of making them walk around a shop full of food without offering them something, but I draw the line at sweets/crisps, etc., more because I don't want to develop the habit of them getting exactly what they want.

By the way, I also reward my dog by giving him a bread roll (also paid for) when I come out if he has been left outside.

prufrock Sun 11-May-03 20:56:16

happyspider do you have a Waitrose near you? They do a delivery service, so you can go and do your shopping yourself, then when you get to the checkout they pack it all up for you and delivery it later. It has been an absolute lifesaver for me as we don't have a car, but a weeks shopping is far too much to carry home on foot.

SoupDragon Sun 11-May-03 20:54:38

I always had to go back to Tescos in person the next day to return rubbish substitutions!

gosh2 Sun 11-May-03 20:52:34

Not loaded, more embarassed about the time DS did eat and the lady told me off. I try to be organised and get shopping on line done, when you think about the time you spend in the supermarket, I mean its busy, its stressful, you have to queue, its no fun for children, I hate saying no to the children, I hate the sweets at the counter, the petrol spent queuing to get there, finding a space, NO mother and toddler spaces, as there are workmens vans parked in them. AAAAGH - do you now see what I mean, £5 once a week is ok to pay. But I wouldnt pay it twice a week. I did once use the free coupon to order about 4 items!!

Chinchilla Sun 11-May-03 20:50:28

BTW, I'm not judging anyone on here who has done it, and I never say never. I may have to resort to it one day...sorry in advance if I offended anyone.

oxocube Sun 11-May-03 20:50:10

Xanthe, is your post for real or a p**s take? If the later respect! If the former.......WHAAAAT. Seriously, do other mums see this as a problem? I have so much more to worry about and quite frankly, couldn't give a toss if my kids ate the odd grape! And yes, they are allowed to look at the comics while I am doing the shopping (small shop, small village, everyone knows who is doing what with whom, before this starts a neglected children thread!) If they damaged the comic, I would go bananas and then pay for it, but they never have, to date.

I really thought most parents had the same opinion. Out of interest, we have lived in Holland for the last couple of years and the minute you walk into a butchers, a cheese shop or bakers, the assistants automatically ask the parents if the kids would like a piece of sausage, cheese etc. Maybe things are more chilled here, but I like the way it works.

Disagree with you, Tallulah but nice thread!

happyspider Sun 11-May-03 20:49:03

by the way, I hate shopping online. I like to choose my sandwiches and fruit personally...
Also, my midwife recommended to walk to the shops... Mumsnet is my only excuse to be online!

Chinchilla Sun 11-May-03 20:48:56

I always take a drink and Organics Bar for ds, if I think that he might be hungry in a supermarket. I do not think that it is wrong per se to allow children to eat things in supermarkets, as long as they have a barcode so that they can be paid for, (I do think that weighable things should be left alone). However, I am personally against it, and I hate seeing people ripping open packets to give their children food that they haven't paid for yet. I don't know why, but I always think that they have no intention of paying for them. Also, they always seem to give their children things that need weighing, like bread rolls/bananas/grapes, almost as if they know that they will get away with not paying for them. Maybe that is just the people who live in my area (It's dead rough in Colchester you know!)

ScummyMummy Sun 11-May-03 20:48:30

You see I so disagree that the woman next to you was right to give you a bollocking, Gosh2. She made you feel so bad about 3 measelly little grapes that you've been driven out of the supermarket! That's not good. If she'd kept her big mouth shut the world would be a better place, IMO. Internet shopping is very useful indeed but I'm happy my kids get the chance to shop in person, sometimes. They are nowadays lovely, helpful shoppers and make the old ladies laugh while they debate the merits of different boxes of cereal in their high pitched voices. They haven't always been this happy in a supermarket though, and I would have been rather cross if someone had told me off for giving them yummy frubes to shut them up when they whinged, which I clearly remember doing on a regular basis a couple of years back!

gosh2 Sun 11-May-03 20:47:49

Batters, hello. Thanks, been in France just got back.

Agree with Soupy online shopping ****. Cupboards are bare and can I get a slot before Thursday??

Why dont they open 24 hours on Sunday for non religious, useless mother/wives like me who can never be organised.

happyspider Sun 11-May-03 20:45:58

gosh2, I just think that you must be loaded and can afford shopping online for 2 items or dropping off your offspring at nursery as much as you like without worrying about the cost.

Obviously when you were pregnant you always had an assistant carrying your grapes and sandwiches for you and wetting your lips any time you needed it.
Most of us unfortunately can't afford that...

SoupDragon Sun 11-May-03 20:45:58

ps, I don't think the petrol analogy is quite right - I've never left the store with anything I've not paid for, even with the intention of going back and paying later.

Batters Sun 11-May-03 20:44:30

gosh2, yes, probably !

Welcome back by the way, haven't seen you posting for a while.

prufrock Sun 11-May-03 20:44:09

Oh and gosh2 - yesI did have to eat or collapse. I had hyperemesis for 16 weeks, could only eat/drink very small amounts without throwing up and so had very little energy. So if I did happen to forget to take my bottle of lucozade with me in my pregnancy addled state I would have to drink something that I hadn't yet paid for, or collapse. Which I did do a few times.

Honestly - do some of you actually have children? Because the judgemental attitudes on display remind me remarkably of my own when I was 20 and childless and didn't have a clue just how bloody hard the whole business was.

SoupDragon Sun 11-May-03 20:44:01

Gosh2, it's not the fact that it costs £5 that stops me shopping online, its because they're ****! It ends up taking me longer and causing me more hassle than shopping with children

My DSs have never eaten anything that does not come with a barcode to scan at the end. The number of cashiers who have asked me if I know that there's a roll missing from my pack of 4 is quite incredible. Especially as DS2 used to be clutching the remnants in his fist. And yes, he was always fed before we went.

gosh2 Sun 11-May-03 20:39:48

Xausted do you keep it in your mouth whilst you shop, so you can find it when you drive car out of car park again?

Here we have perfect solution for children / pregnant people who have to eat grapes in supermarkets!!

I am in for it now aren't I??!

XAusted Sun 11-May-03 20:36:15

Thankfully, I rarely have to take my offspring to the supermarket these days. When I did I would take snacks/drinks from home to keep them quiet(ish). In town, I always make them finish what they're eating before going into any book/clothes/toy, etc shops. I think if happyspider has time to have her lunch while queuing in M&S then they ought to get their act together and serve customers faster!
And I always drive round car parks with the ticket in my mouth. How else can I remember where it is?

prufrock Sun 11-May-03 20:36:05

No I couldn't feed her before. Supermarket is on the way home from nursery, so the only option would be to stop off somewhere, which would mean I'd get back home later. And that would mean I'd have less time to spend on Mumsnet. God some people are just so stooopid

gosh2 Sun 11-May-03 20:34:00

How do I say this without offending the world and their children. But it is worrying people who go around opening food for children to eat, the fact of the matter is it should be paid for first. We dont get petrol, go for a little drive, and then go back later for more with the intention of paying!

Anyhow I am now in for a gunning of criticism. If it's all too tricky to either feed your children before you shop, feed yourself before you shop all you pregnant people that supposedly have to eat or you collapse??, why not leave them at nursery or shop on line. I know £5 is a lot, if you just need a couple of items.

But it is stealing from the shop, I have to agree with Tallulah, we all end up paying for the "missing" grapes somehow.

And before you all criticise me, I am not whiter than white. My DS aged 2 ate about 3 grapes once and the woman beside me quite rightly gave me a bollocking. I did ask the girl at the checkout to weigh 3 grapes and put it on my bill. I haven't taken the children since, and do more shopping on line.

janh Sun 11-May-03 20:33:36

PS If I take a *large* child to the supermarket, and it wants some food on the way round, it takes the food to the checkout (eg a french stick or a choc bar or crisps), pays for it and brings me the receipt before eating it. (The food, not the receipt.)

janh Sun 11-May-03 20:31:44

Coo - this thread has pulled some strings, hasn't it?

I agree with talullah but only up to a point - I think it is perfectly OK for a *small* child to be fed on its way round the supermarket, IF it is with a product that can be honestly paid for, ie anything with a barcode is OK (including a packet of crisps) and that includes fruit/veg which you pre-weigh and barcode yourself.

A bunch of grapes or an apple or a banana which needs to be weighed at the checkout doesn't come into this category - it is stealing!!! I loved mieow's comment about getting someone to fetch another apple when someone brazenly handed her a core to weigh.

snickers Sun 11-May-03 20:31:04

p.s. tallulah, posts crossed...

- cause I think kids are bright! They very quickly get the hang of the nuances of life and the varying degrees of right and wrong. Afterall - I say "no!" to DD climbing up our teevee and the ironing board, but don't when she climbs almost anything else. She's so small and yet already has got the hang of separating the things she can and can't climb, and yet you could argue they are all "vertical surfaces" !!

happyspider Sun 11-May-03 20:30:27

well, I can see Tallulah point, if you are eating ice-cream in Next and you are a 2 years old, you will find it only natural to clean your hand with a brand new cream jacket... which is not exactly very nice for the they will have to take the item off sale. OK, it's not stealing, but it's a loss for the shop. Also quite upsetting if the jacket is the last one in your size and you really wanted to buy it (this happened to a friend of mine!)

I tend to avoid eating in clothes shops, above all if I am having a big Mac with chips. Just doesn't seem fair...

Xanthe Sun 11-May-03 20:30:15

I wouldn't let my kids eat anything until we were past the checkout. They have to learn that they can't always have everything immediately and it's a good way to teach them that good behaviour is rewarded. IMO children need to be taught self-control. The simple solution is to send dh/dp without the kids to do the big shop each week!

hmb Sun 11-May-03 20:28:14

Snickers, out local Asda's has a creche which my kids love to go in. I do the shop and snatch a quick cup of coffee. It isn't cheap though, over a fiver for the two of them.....but worth it on a difficult day.

morocco Sun 11-May-03 20:27:14

mumsnetters all sound lovely people - I feel a bit bad for being judgemental on all this stuff but then of course my ds is too young to have got up to all these shennanigans yet.
Eating in supermarkets seems OK by me according to all the examples given but I think that some people (not mumsnetters it seems )really are taking advantage of the system and just nicking loads of stuff - I've seen it happen quite a few times and I don't see any difference to just sticking the food in your bag to eat later - shoplifting either way. Of course I s'pose the evidence has disappeared.
This reminded me of the last time I bought stuff from a self service counter and saw this mum letting her kid pick stuff up, half eat it and put it back, play with the food and even drop it on the floor and then put it back on the counter without saying a word or leading him away. I thought that was pretty off, myself.

whymummy Sun 11-May-03 20:25:59

tallulah the difference is there`s no biscuits or crisps in next or are they??and still can`t see the problem with kids eating while you shop,big supermarkets trick us by putting sweets and crisps in every single isle or toys right next to the nappies,so i couldn`t care less if the loose some money over a few eaten grapes!!

GeorginaA Sun 11-May-03 20:24:42

Personally I think home delivery is the best invention ever, and is well worth the five quid. And yes my child then behaves impecably while playing at home waiting for the shopping to be delivered

ScummyMummy Sun 11-May-03 20:24:41

Tallulah- my kids aren't so thick that they think clothes and electrical goods are worth eating. Obviously sources of entertainment in Next are trying on clothes and hiding behind dresses, in electrical shops pressing buttons is good for a laugh if you're little and bored. It's only Sainbos and Tesco where they'd eat the produce; they are quite clear on the different sorts of shops and what is fun (and acceptable) to do where.

snickers Sun 11-May-03 20:24:27

Aaaah - for a penny for each of the things I said I would never do pre-baby...

I normally remember to bring a rusk or two for DD, but then I only have the one, and she's still a baby. so you kinda already go out with the kicthen sink under one arm. I remember clearly the first time I was in a supermarket, and she was REALLY not having any of it - and I reached for the biscuit which kept her quiet all the rest of the way around... ("I will never use food as a way to keep my children quiet" HAH!!! Double HAH HAH!!! - works a flippin treat!)

I think we all know there's different levels of acceptability and as a result people don't open the toy, or wear the clothes, but people might break open a packet of snacks, paying for it at the end.
Having to do shopping with kids can be a painful chore, and one that they can be incredibly bored with (let alone YOU!) and so I agree that mangers should think more about refreshments and things to amuse the kids as you go round - and NOT put tonnes of toys in aisle 2 to play on pester power to kick in just as you start your shop. hmmm.

Why are there no creches and/or supervised play areas in supermarkets?

Claireandrich Sun 11-May-03 20:24:09

I wouldn't let my DD eat in a clothes shop for obvious reasons, although she is in her pushchair generally. I try to go shopping between meals but as DD is so young (13 months) he still needs snalcks between meals as well. So, there is generally a need and I generally take something with me, like cubes of cheese, raisins, etc. Then I can just pop a bit in her mouth as we go round and it isn't so much of an issue.

edgarcat Sun 11-May-03 20:15:42

Message withdrawn

doormat Sun 11-May-03 20:13:08

I thought what prompted you was the child in the next till eating grapes. I am confused here.

edgarcat Sun 11-May-03 20:10:16

Message withdrawn

tallulah Sun 11-May-03 20:09:04

Quite shocked at the amount of feedback!

The grapes in our supermarket are weighed at the till, so in this particular case they would not be paid for... hardly the same as just tasting!

prufrock- just a suggestion, couldn't you feed her before you go shopping?

those who think it's OK for kids to eat in shop- how do they know the difference between eating in Tesco & eating in Next?! (what prompted me to post this thread was seeing 2 10 year olds in a clothes shop eating ice-cream beforehand...) or perhaps in an electrical store?

ScummyMummy Sun 11-May-03 19:49:40

Oh this isn't that controversial, is it? Seems like a bit of a non issue to me- almost everyone's said that their kids are allowed to chomp on certain foods during a supermarket shop but are not allowed to nick anything major, haven't they? Seems fairly standard practice to me... No offence to anyone who worries deeply about it, mind, and it's a nice thread, Tallulah- I love imagining mumsnetters shopping with their babes and hearing about who does what!

edgarcat Sun 11-May-03 19:23:07

Message withdrawn

ScummyMummy Sun 11-May-03 19:20:39

Yes, it's very nice, edgarcat, but it's all down to my great parenting, doncha know?

(Mine aren't really faffing about refusing to go to bed while I ignore them and type stuff onto Mumsnet. Honest.)

sobernow Sun 11-May-03 19:19:05

I take snacks in with me as well. I don't have a problem with children eating while you're shopping but I don't want the added stress of wondering if store staff are going to pounce on me. Dd2 has taken to yanking things off the shelf and yelling "PAY THE LADY!' at me - makes it sound as though she's trying to grass me up...

edgarcat Sun 11-May-03 19:16:31

Message withdrawn

Tossum Sun 11-May-03 18:34:26

Yeh, eating in (only) supermarkets is ok with me. Especially considering a shop can take over an hour, and at the end of it your often spending upwards of 50 quid. If I was a supermarket manager, I'd even play on this, and maybe have staff hand out refreshments etc. Its all about customer satisfaction these days isnt it- loyalty is very important. I've even been known to munch on a few grapes on the way round the store, stealing maybe, but not much more of a loss for tesco/sainsbury than the 'free' rockford(sp?) cheese samples I ask for knowing full well its too expensive to buy a chunk. If the manager came up to me having a go about stealing grapes, I'd be well reluctant to go back, miserable old git.

katierocket Sun 11-May-03 18:08:04

agree with doormat, this sounds so judgemental "people shouldn't be eating in any shop" for gods sake - does it really matter. are there not more important things to worry about.

jodee Sun 11-May-03 17:33:50

Griffy, I head straight for the comics the minute I set foot in the door! I always go to the supermarket with my own made-up drink for ds and a biscuit or an apple, but even though it's an apple I have paid for the previous week and brought from home, I have that uncomfortable feeling that people are tut-tutting, thinking ds is eating unpaid for fruit!

prufrock Sun 11-May-03 17:07:20

Regularly pick up dd from nursery and shop before going home. And as this co-incides with snack time, I'll let her eat food from the shop, and open a pack of wipes or tissues to clean her up with. I really don't see the problem with this,as long as you pay for it at the end. And like happyspider I used to eat stuff myself when pregnant as there were times when if I didn't get sugar I would have keeled over in the shop. I would love tallulah to come and show me how to communicate to a 12 month old baby that if she stops screaming with hunger for long enough for me to do my shopping she'll get a treat later

ScummyMummy Sun 11-May-03 16:13:44

You'd never get Barbie out of the box before you got out the shop what with all the wires and plastic tags tying her in, Bobsmum! I do tell my kids that things aren't "theirs" until we've paid so can't be opened but I really wouldn't feel a serious wrong had occured if a young child was allowed to open a toy before payment had been made. Doubt you'd be allowed to swan about dripping with jewels, either, but yes, if the trying on policy allowed such behaviour then that's fine by me too.

breeze Sun 11-May-03 15:59:38

I must admit that I quite happily let DS eat while going round the supermarket. I always make sure that it is scanned at the check-out, don't see a problem in that whatsoever, my DH is a shop manager and sees this happen all the time, as long as they are scanned at the till he doesn't have a problem with it.

Bobsmum Sun 11-May-03 15:53:22

Just playing devil's advocate, but is it therefore ok to open up a Barbie box and allow sprog to play with doll b4 buying? Similarly could i not walk round Harvey Nicks dripping with expensive jewellery/designer clothes and Jimmy Choos totally intending to buy them at the end of a long day's posing?

whymummy Sun 11-May-03 15:51:27

i let my children eat and drink in supermarkets and always pay for it of course
live and let live

Finbar Sun 11-May-03 15:45:22

Am I being a bit thick here - but why don't you take your own snacks on shopping expeditions?
Ok so I have a handbag that looks like a pig swill bin - but I am relieved not to worry whether I'm stealing or not! (Before you think I'm getting all sanctimonious - I have given DD breadsticks from packet picked upon way round supermarket as well!!)

Incidentally - I have a friend who was actually stopped by the supermarket manager and asked to accompany him to the office etc - just because her DS had munched his way thro' a whole bunch of grapes! ridiculous - but it did happen.

SoupDragon Sun 11-May-03 15:18:46

The bag of Tesco's grapes I bought last week were prepacked in a bag but not pre-priced so in my mind, eating them is the same as stealing. Ironically, Tallulah, a Twix would be fine from this point of view as you could have the wrapper swiped.

I used to give DSs a wholemeal bread roll from a prepacked pack of 4 to eat on the way round. This was only when they were small (under 2) and too little to understand how to behave. I've also let DS2 have breadsticks from a box. I did always keep an eye on them and pick up the dropped bits. It is better than a screaming child though, IMHO, especially one that is too small to understand the concept of being quiet inside & getting a treat outside.

So, I'm half with you, Tallulah!

doormat Sun 11-May-03 15:05:11

No offence tallulah, just done your other thread and I think you are being a bit judgemental towards other people and their children. To be fair you do not know the circumstances surrounding it.
How many of us as parents have been busy all day and then realised we have had nothing to eat?
I am guilty of eating out of pre packed packets in the supermarket. I give my ds who is 2 something if he is hungry too.(he is the only one I take food shopping as I have to do it before others arrive home from school)I dont believe in shoplifting and our local supermarket know my face and know it will be paid for. In my supermarket grapes are sold in bags with either the same weight/price on the packet. (tesco)

Claireandrich Sun 11-May-03 14:58:07

Agree with the majority here too. If is it pre-priced items and DD is hungry then I will give her something but ALWAYS pay for everything bought (or used). I would not do this with weighed items that hadn't been priced - technically it's theft so I'd feel bad. The meat and cheese counter are great at our supermarket though as they know DD loves ham and cheese so they always let her have a free taste sample!

oxocube Sun 11-May-03 14:36:39

Just read your message Tamum and agreee that of course there are shops where it would absolutely not be okay for anyone to eat of drink, such as clothes shops, or most places really apart from supermarket.

happyspider Sun 11-May-03 14:34:56

I don't have children yet, but since I have got pg I have been waiting in a long q at the till at M&S and have eaten my sandwich and water while waiting with the rest of the shopping in my basket.
Since I am heavily pg, when hunger strikes I've got to eat and drink otherwise I feel like fainting.
I keep the empty bottle/sandwich packaging in my basket and offer to scan at the till, and so far I have always received half smiles and "sorry for keeping you wait" reaction from the staff, so it seems as it is accepted at least at M&S.
I would never eat and hide the packaging because that equals to shoplifting and I am totally against it!
I love the attitude of the staff and think that if my child would be hungry I would do the same.

oxocube Sun 11-May-03 14:33:44

My kids quite happily munch their way around the supermarket on pre-priced stuff and I would certainly let them try fruit such as grapes if I was going to buy them anyway. I open packets of bread rolls, currant buns etc am really am not interested if anyone thinks it 'looks awful'. No one has ever batted an eyelid and the checkout staff seem perfectly happy as long as you pay for the goods. But then I do shamelessly feed my kids on all the 'samples' eg 2 different kinds of cheese on special that week, slices of salami, rolls of ham, anything free really, often going back for seconds if they like it! The kids love it, I get to shop in peace. And in my (and their) defence, my kids are actually *really* well behaved in shops, so I'm not giving in to tantrums. There! You probably all think I'm such a common mother now

But children running around shops and restaurants screaming now: thats a different matter! I guess we all have our personal bugbears!

mieow Sun 11-May-03 14:33:24

I used to work in safeways and saw people eating food all the time. Its isn't a problem if the goods have barcodes and are pre-weighed, but yes, its theft and the stores do lose out, usually with the staff getting a tiny pay rise at the end of the year. We were lucky to get 7p per/hour.
The staff on the checkout are taught to be on alert of food that is half eaten....... one day someone gave me the apple core to weigh (didn't they think that I couldn't weigh the rest???) So I got one of the porters to get me another one to weigh LOL.. Grapes are harder as you don't know whats been eaten.

tamum Sun 11-May-03 14:11:47

I certainly wouldn't let my children eat goods that hadn't been weighed, as that would be stealing, but I find the first count rather extreme "people shouldn't be eating in any shop". I wouldn't give my children food in a gift shop, say, but is it really that awful to eat in a food shop?

griffy Sun 11-May-03 14:02:26

Oh - sorry about this, but I'm going to give the other point of view.

I take DS to the supermarket particularly at mealtimes and feed him all the way round - shamelessly! Usually a sandwich, raisins, pre-weighed/priced fruit (such as strawberries), muffins etc. Interestingly, not grapes, since I do take those home and wash them. Halfway round, I'll get him a Thomas magazine to rip the toy off and read for the rest of the way (a similar vandalism of pre-paid-for goods IMO. If anything would be messy or difficult that he wants to eat, I say no, and he certainly understands that all must be paid for - which it is.

Pre DS, I would have been disgusted at the thought, but now I don't care. DS loves trips to the supermarket, and he begs to sit in the trolley seat. To date I have never had the supermarket discipline issues that seem to plague others. (I'm sure there's plenty of time for that when he's older! ). In addition, I actually relax at the supermarket, don't feel harrassed at all and the whole thing is great fun.

And if anyone doesn't like it, I'm sorry but I don't care.

WideWebWitch Sun 11-May-03 12:42:56

Well, yes, ideally you wash grapes before eating them but the odd few in a supermarket isn't going to kill anyone. I do think we all get a bit over cautious about hygiene sometimes. Happyspider, I very much doubt that a few unwashed grapes will harm your unborn baby either and if they're *that* dangerous *before* they're washed then I don't think I'd want to eat them afterwards either.

I think if the grapes have already been weighed and therefore will be paid for at the till then there's no problem but I also agree with Scummy, supermarkets should let people try things like fruit before they buy but they don't. I've had some nasty bitter satsumas from a supermarket recently but I got sweet juicy ones from a local grocer and he let me try before I bought some when I asked him if they were sweet. So I can't get worked up about this as a major theft issue even if the grapes aren't weighed to be honest. Ds does know now that he has to wait until I've paid but that's partly for bribery purposes. I will let him eat something on the way round if it's prepacked and can be swiped and I've had to take him at a hungry time though. Not a big deal IMO.

monkey Sun 11-May-03 12:19:03

I always give mine a piece of bread or something like that. I will also give them, eg a banana, but where we live, the system is that you weigh & label the fruit & veg yourself so I would be paying for it & they'd be able to check & prove that if anyone ever did have a problem (which has never happened).

I do agree that eating goods before they've been weighed is stealing, and anyway, wouldn't you want to wash the grapes first?? I certainly wouldn't open a packet of sweets.bisuits/crisps, put pulling the end off a baguette for the price of a quiet life isn't that bad to me. My sons know they can have a peiece of bread, but also know that I wouldn't consider opening anything till we've seen the "pay lady". I am shocked that people eat goods & don't pay for it, I like to consider myself honest & therefore wouldn't do it, but am also much too chicken & am amazed by the audacity of some. I think it's a lot worse in France, maybe England's heading that way?

happyspider Sun 11-May-03 12:15:32

well I think that children shouldn't eat grapes without washing them, so the problem here is another.
Sometimes you get warning on the grapes bag saying that the fruit inside has been chemically treated and can be poisonous.
I used to try cherries and grapes before I got pregnant, as I agree with ScummyMummy. But I won't do it now as I am expecting my first baby and have been told it's dangerous. Certanly it can be dangerous for little children too?

ScummyMummy Sun 11-May-03 12:09:47

I had no qualms about letting the bairns eat things in packets with barcodes as they can be swiped and paid for and life was that bit easier. They're older now and understand that you pay first but if they were feeling tired and wobbly at a time when shopping was essential I would certainly let them have a nibble at something, as long as we could swipe the packet and pay at the till. I always taste grapes/cherries etc as I don't want to buy rubbish ones. I've taught my kids that places that don't let you taste are probably either selling crap or run by incredibly stingy people who don't deserve their money.

Tinker Sun 11-May-03 11:54:30

Agree that eating grapes is theft but can't see the problem with a pre-priced French stick. It's healthy and the only time I could really go shoping was after work when she was starving - not really reasonable to ask her to wait. Never had a problem from the checkout staff.

Bobsmum Sun 11-May-03 11:51:50

totally totally agree!!!!! grrrrrrr. dh thinks it's ok cos his mum did it and still does it herself (she's in her 60s)!!!
I have seen some people have their empty crisp packets swiped at the checkout so I guess they're paying for it in the end, but nonetheless it just looks awful!

tallulah Sun 11-May-03 11:48:13

As an aside from my other thread about children misbehaving in shops- the other thing that wound me up yesterday is this trend for letting children eat in the supermarket. The child in the trolley at the next till had a bag of grapes she'd been eating. She must have had 1/2 lb, so that's about 50p? Would her mother have thought it OK to give her, say, a twix, or a Begian Bun without paying for it?

I don't agree with this on 3 counts
1) people shouldn't be eating in any shop & teaching a child that they can is not a good idea
2) this is theft & if everyone did it then the supermarkets losses would be passed on to everyone
3) children also should be taught that you can't have something until it's paid for.

Before you all jump on me and say it's better than having them screaming, I have got 4 myself & I have been through this. Mine quickly learned that no screaming inside meant they could get to eat a treat outside when we'd finished.

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