Listening to the radio in the car when Lady GaGa comes on:

ds: i know this lady, she's tall
me: how do you know that ds?
ds: i saw her in the paper with the queen
me: who do you think this is, ds?
ds: mrs obama
me: you mean Lady GaGa?
ds: yes

DD isn't strictly a toddler, she's 4, but today was talking about school (she's just started).

dd: 'Mum, when we have lunch at school we say a prayer to God.'

Me: 'Do you dd? What do you say?'

dd: 'I don't know. I can remember when everyone says it, but not on my own.'

Me: 'oh OK.'

dd: 'Also its hard to remember the words Mum, because some of them speak vegetarian.'

The other morning DD ran into my bedroom with a big string of snot running from her nose into her mouth, shouting:

"Oh no! Mummy! Help! My nose is stuck to my mouth"

working at my nursery we hear lots of funny stuff, keeps us laughing all day, the 2 year olds are very concerned at the moment:

Me laying on the decking after a child dropped a puzzle piece down one of the cracks trying to get it out

Child - Sarah Sarah Nooooooo, stop
Me (sarah)- whats wrong?
Child - be careful sarah don't fall down the hole.
Me- ok i'll try not to
child - i'll hold your leg to keep you safe

She sat with me holding onto me, continually telling me to be safe, be careful and being very concerned about my safety

(Shouted from the landing, where she is upstairs on her own getting herself dressed, halway inside her polo shirt- we are all downstairs) 'Mummy! I said I didn't want any help, but I saw a hand pointing into my sleeve. I can do it myself!' 'Do you think it might have been your own hand sweetie?' She insists it is definitely not her hand, but seems unconcerned about the idea of a disembodied hand...

Mummy, I know that God sent you to look after me. But don't worry if you die, Daddy can do it. Will I be getting my P45?

"Daddy took my trousers off in the park today"
Why's that^,^son?
"Because he was naaaaaughty"

Ok, but why did he take them off, did he change your pull up?

"No, he put my trousers on the cold dirty floor and that's why I got no trousers on!"

Errr, son ... I took your trousers off downstairs, remember? So what did daddy do with your trousers?

"Nuffin. I said it cos I big"

Hello!

I am not a mum myself, but a struggling uni student, and reading these threads is just brilliant. Esp as us uni students miss our mums lots! My friend and I think you are all fab. I felt the urge to share some of my classic toddler moments

at the supermarket..
cashier: isn't your mummy nice buying you all those treats?
me: yes... (pauses) but she isnt strict enough sometimes

at playgroup
me: aunty dot (she ran the playgroup) can we have classic fm I don't like this music

watching beauty and the beast for the first time
me: (the moment when gastone dies)
HE HAS FALLEN TO HIS DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!! (cries)

Have just rediscovered this thread and laughed all over again1
Reminded me od DD2 on the way home from pre-school:
Mummy, do moles like lemons?

DD1 said a few weeks ago, 'look daddy! I'm running in snow lotion'!