part II - the penguin is landed and he didn't get pppp-picked up!

(482 Posts)
juneybean Fri 10-Apr-09 16:17:30
RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 16:20:06

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RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 16:22:29

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easterchickfordinner Fri 10-Apr-09 16:24:19

oh can't wait for tigers update,hope she got pictures. grin

juneybean Fri 10-Apr-09 16:25:07

I know it's like the icing on the cake

Brilliant!!! How about a reply to his last text of 'yes of course I am a real person but I take it you are not gay then?' could be fun??

oldraver Fri 10-Apr-09 16:25:43

Shine.. does he drive an M3/4 whatever they are called

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 16:27:09

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lou33 Fri 10-Apr-09 16:27:36

we need tiger!

YanknbeforetheCockcrows Fri 10-Apr-09 16:28:10

I've got this mental image of a penguin at an Orange shop, trying to decide between the Dolphin and Canary plans. . .and demanding a waterproof phone...

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 16:28:19

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YanknbeforetheCockcrows Fri 10-Apr-09 16:29:18

I think Tiger wasn't going to do pics, but I have faith in her descriptive powers.

juneybean Fri 10-Apr-09 16:29:27

Hahahah yank!

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 16:30:31

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StrawberryWinders Fri 10-Apr-09 16:30:34

Guess you won't be needing that overdraft then grin

"are you a real person?" priceless grin

YanknbeforetheCockcrows Fri 10-Apr-09 16:31:15

The penguin would probably need a flippers-free kit too. . .

chickaleggjac Fri 10-Apr-09 16:31:15

shiney you should change your number now

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 16:32:06

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Biscuits4cheese Fri 10-Apr-09 16:32:18

shineon were you in phone/text contact with tiger? What has she said?

Riallytoofattoflounce Fri 10-Apr-09 16:33:58

lol @ penguin plan.

I can't keep up.

thanks screaming.

MrsMagooo Fri 10-Apr-09 16:34:01

PMSL - I absolutely love it - way to go you grin

BitOfFunnyBunny Fri 10-Apr-09 16:34:07

That was pure brilliance! grin

I so want him to see the thread at some point...can't you email him the "look into the burning eyes of the penguins and CHANGE YOUR WAYS" pic, pleeeeeease?!

ROFL grin

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 16:35:16

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Hee hee hee, so glad he turned up grin

<whispers> but I do feel a tiny bit sorry for him too, waiting around in the rain and now driving himself mad trying to work out who it is. Have to keep reminding myself what a numpty he is.

soon2befamilyof4 Fri 10-Apr-09 16:36:31

Have only just seen this thread (well, the first one). WELL DONE! There are so many arseholes around!

I do wonder though if he never finds out who it is if he will learn from it?

Think it is brilliant though. Myself and my friend did something similar years ago when her boyfriend tried it on with me - I didnt know who he was to start with. (We were only like 16 lol). and she wanted to see how far he would take it and I arranged to meet him and he stood there like a twat for ages. Love it.

Flight - I can't believe you are feeling sorry for him. HE is the one in the wrong.

LilRedWG Fri 10-Apr-09 16:36:51

DH said, please tell him you are dumping the twat.

oldraver Fri 10-Apr-09 16:37:06

Aha.. I had one of those moments this morning when going to the shop and spotted a K reg sliver M3. From your description it sounded like a car he would drive lol

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 16:37:13

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JuxaLOTmoreChocolate Fri 10-Apr-09 16:38:29

grin well done for going through with it. Now we're just waiting for tiger. Hope she and her dcs had a nice time.

FAQinglovely Fri 10-Apr-09 16:39:50

ok can someone please give me a really quick (haha) summary of what happpened??

I only read the first 50 posts or so have no idea what happened - who is "tiger" and what has she got to do with it all???

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 16:39:56

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LilRedWG Fri 10-Apr-09 16:40:39

So - you are still going to go out with this guy?????

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 16:40:49

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JeanPoole Fri 10-Apr-09 16:40:54
RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 16:41:38

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FAQinglovely Fri 10-Apr-09 16:41:55

<<<<<<<<<<<wails>>>>>>>> but it's 1000 posts long, I still need to sort myself some food and I'm leaving here again just over an hour - going to be out all evening, and no doubt then this thread will have filled up and I'll have two threads to read

goingplaces Fri 10-Apr-09 16:42:15

Jean LOL smile

LilRedWG Fri 10-Apr-09 16:42:30

Please tell me you are joking - he's proved to be more than capable of cheating on you. hmm

thumbbunny Fri 10-Apr-09 16:43:55

shiney - are you going to speak to him again as yourself to find out how his day was?
We'd love to hear what he says about it... grin

Presume you're going to give him his marching orders - or perhaps you could suggest that you have an "open" relationship an see what he says! wink

LilRedWG Fri 10-Apr-09 16:44:15

FAQ - tiger is another MNer who happened to be going to the meetup place today - she was going to take surreptitious photographs of the blokey.

mychildrenarebarmy Fri 10-Apr-09 16:44:25

Oh but FAQ it is sooooo worth it.

ChippingIn Fri 10-Apr-09 16:44:43

FAQ - where have you been mate???

I am just in the middle of something, so can't do a summary, but I'm sure someone will

I also just bought some Penguin biscuits at Tesco, waved them around, smiled a lot at people but no-one had that grin I'm a MN'er too expression... more a 'what the fuck is she like' expression.... oops...

Shine - you have to let him know it was you.... you have to!! Let him know you (we/women) aren't fucking stupid and that he was rumbled....

oldraver Fri 10-Apr-09 16:45:10

Shine.... I do confess to going to the Naafi which I rarely use rather than the Co-Op.. just inn case grin

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 16:45:23

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ChippingIn Fri 10-Apr-09 16:45:50

...because... isn't the point to teach him not to be a two timing GIT, not that he shouldn't go on blind dates with random strangers...??

LilRedWG Fri 10-Apr-09 16:46:06

Thank God for that - I must admit I did wonder. blush

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 16:47:21

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LilRedWG Fri 10-Apr-09 16:48:11

In that case I would text him from Jane's phone and either say, "My name is Shiny and you're dumped" or tell him to call you and then answer the phone as you and dump him.

Nancy66 Fri 10-Apr-09 16:48:16

What are you going to say when he asks to see you?
I think you should say that you think it's time for you to both spread your wings...

FAQinglovely Fri 10-Apr-09 16:48:24

Chipping - I've been busy doing organ stuff - out last night, out this afternoon, out again tonight.

oh well guess I'll have to try and read the whole thing tonight when I get back.

mylifemykids Fri 10-Apr-09 16:48:48

'I also just bought some Penguin biscuits at Tesco, waved them around, smiled a lot at people but no-one had that I'm a MN'er too expression... more a 'what the fuck is she like' expression.... oops...'

ChippingIn that is TOO funny!! I'd have loved to have seen that. Can you imagine 2 MN'ers in the middle of Tesco just in stitches over a packet of penguins! I'll never be able to buy them again without laughing now grin

goingplaces Fri 10-Apr-09 16:49:37

Are you going to see him again at all? If you don't, do you think he might rumble that you set him up?

BottySpottom Fri 10-Apr-09 16:49:51

tell him you can't be exclusive anymore; you think you've fallen for a penguin

screamingabdab Fri 10-Apr-09 16:49:52


sockmonkey Fri 10-Apr-09 16:51:23

<lurking too>

FairyTaleEnding Fri 10-Apr-09 16:52:01

Where is Tiger?

I have got fuck all done this afternoon!

goingplaces Fri 10-Apr-09 16:53:36

Ask him, "Did you know that penguins form monogomous relationships that last a lifetime?"

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 16:53:53

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screamingabdab Fri 10-Apr-09 16:54:41

Terribly bad manners, i know, but if any of you lurkers/waiters have DCs with bad handwriting, can you help advise, HERE: -8-year-old-with

goingplaces Fri 10-Apr-09 16:54:55

Penguins are very exclusive

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 16:55:21

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YanknbeforetheCockcrows Fri 10-Apr-09 16:55:39

Do you have a landline? Would he try to contact you on that number if you don't return his calls to your old mobile? Is the old mobile still receiving calls/texts?

mylifemykids Fri 10-Apr-09 16:55:44

I've only just caught up with the first thread (again!). Was he seriously still there at 4.20 waiting????

allthetwinklystars Fri 10-Apr-09 16:56:54

My DH now thinks that I spend all day ignoring the DC and sitting on the laptop MNing.. erm....

TheDevilEatsNestle Fri 10-Apr-09 16:56:58

I've just read this entire thread and am wondering if there's another one 'to have given this dodgy looking guy in the pub a false number'

Because I had 8 phonecalls today asking for Katie. Poor desperate bloke

'Hi it must be you, you put this number in my phone'

Me -' No I am not Katie and spent last night in bed with crap magazines and an easter egg'

Then again

'Katie, why are you lying, we had a good talk, why don't you remember me?'

Lizzylou Fri 10-Apr-09 16:57:39

LOL at the Penguin waving in Tescos, Chippingin
DH came home with Asda's own brand, Puffins, he didn't know why I was so disappointed...

Riallytoofattoflounce Fri 10-Apr-09 16:58:34

thumbunny - are these his marching orders?

PlumBumMum Fri 10-Apr-09 16:58:39

Invite round for a chat to dump him, make him a cup of tea and a plate of biscuits, with a few penguins on there grin

screamingabdab Fri 10-Apr-09 16:59:03

lizzylou Puffins? lol

MavisGrind Fri 10-Apr-09 17:00:08

Just bookmarking this - waiting for Tigers report...

DS1 has been wearing his Pingu top all day in your honour! grin

Lizzylou Fri 10-Apr-09 17:00:56

I know screamingabdab, I know...
Just not the same

Nyx Fri 10-Apr-09 17:02:03

Am still roffling here grin

I think you could do what somebody suggested before - i.e. text from jane's number and say "btw...shineon and I both think you're a nob" - then the penny would drop. You really would have to get a brand new number after that though!

Oh well done well done on the whole thing though! I'm looking forward to tiger's update too!

cornsilk Fri 10-Apr-09 17:02:24

Perhaps suggest that you and he stay in and watch 'Happy Feet' whilst snacking on sushi tonight?

goingplaces Fri 10-Apr-09 17:04:57

Or find a "black tie" do to go to together and get him down to Moss Bros to get fitted for his ^penguin suit^

thumbbunny Fri 10-Apr-09 17:05:50

lol Rially!

bellabelly Fri 10-Apr-09 17:06:25

I love Nancy's suggestion about telling him it's time for you both to "spread your wings" - you could then console him with the thought that there are plenty more fish in the sea...

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 17:11:19

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KinderEggKayzr Fri 10-Apr-09 17:12:58

Just reas this through and I think it brilliant. I have been in stitches, now I too am waiting for Tiger's report.

bellabelly Fri 10-Apr-09 17:13:02

He is bound to phone you soon (as shineon, I mean) - you need to be prepared!

frankiecat Fri 10-Apr-09 17:13:50

LOLOL bellabelly!

bellabelly Fri 10-Apr-09 17:14:03

If he presses you about why you don't want to see him any more, tell him it's complicated - that things arn't always black and white...

lou33 Fri 10-Apr-09 17:14:09

send him this

kitbit Fri 10-Apr-09 17:14:28

Why not text him as Jane and say sorry, can you meet tomorrow instead?

....and we can do it all over again!!!!!

kitbit Fri 10-Apr-09 17:14:38

Why not text him as Jane and say sorry, can you meet tomorrow instead?

....and we can do it all over again!!!!!

frankiecat Fri 10-Apr-09 17:15:35

fab idea kitbit! now where could we leave him waiting this time, i wonder?

bellabelly Fri 10-Apr-09 17:16:03

Teehee, if he agree to that Kitbit, then he really would deserve the "You are an IDIOT" msg!

NotPlayingAnyMore Fri 10-Apr-09 17:16:21

Hurry up Tiger, I need to go to the shop! All this talk of penguins is making want to go out and buy a packet! grin

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 17:17:15

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kitbit Fri 10-Apr-09 17:17:35

What about the Cotswold wildlife park at Burford? There are monkeys there.

<opens can of worms and steps back>

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 17:18:36

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Riallytoofattoflounce Fri 10-Apr-09 17:18:54

fancy a cup of PG Tips with that chocolate biscuit?

LackaDAISYcal Fri 10-Apr-09 17:19:27

just bookmarking for tiger's report grin

well done on sucking him in shiney grin

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 17:19:37

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kitbit Fri 10-Apr-09 17:19:38

snort @ rially

BitOfFunnyBunny Fri 10-Apr-09 17:21:49

Come on Tiger...I bet she felt sorry for him stood out in the rain grin

cornsilk Fri 10-Apr-09 17:23:55

Maybe she quite liked him...

leonifay Fri 10-Apr-09 17:23:57

genious, this is great. come on tiger, i'm dying to hear your report!

PringlePopper Fri 10-Apr-09 17:24:26

I would just have to let him know it was me who set him up, teach him not to mess with the best! grin

You could send him the original ' Hi you, how are ya?' text adding 'this is shiny on her new number, the one you are now blocked from calling'. Oooh gooo on, let him know you are a force to be reckoned with grin

oldraver Fri 10-Apr-09 17:26:50

Oooh Oooh, I'd be up for the Wildlife Park

Shine its actually quite worrying that this is the calibre of person thats defending our country

Nancy66 Fri 10-Apr-09 17:27:04

Tell him that:

It's time for you to spread your wings
It's nothing to get in a flap about
there are plenty more fish in the sea
and romance can't always be black and white...

and if he doesn't click then he really is thick.

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 17:28:11

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Riallytoofattoflounce Fri 10-Apr-09 17:29:09

had to come back to post this for the monkey man.

now, have to cook fish for my children...

Riallytoofattoflounce Fri 10-Apr-09 17:29:38

... whilst waiting with bated breath for Tigersmile

macdoodle Fri 10-Apr-09 17:29:43

Another lurker just marking my place for when Tigers back

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 17:29:52

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kitbit Fri 10-Apr-09 17:30:00

If there is anyone there next to the monkey enclosure next weekend singing "oo oo oo the funky gibbon" under their breath and looking around shiftily we'll know you've been on MN all day today!!!!

LobstersLass Fri 10-Apr-09 17:31:39

Shiney, your threads have had me laughing all day. Can't wait for Tiger to log-on...

screamingabdab Fri 10-Apr-09 17:34:02

shiney ROFL

Who could blame her? He sounded like a rather attractive proposition from the way you described him

magentadreamer Fri 10-Apr-09 17:35:21

Thankfully my DD is with her dad or else she'd be calling childline by now!

mamhaf Fri 10-Apr-09 17:38:01

Perhaps Tiger is an undercover Sun reporter - it'll be all over the paper tomorrow "Squaddie's p-p-penguin hell"

sarah293 Fri 10-Apr-09 17:39:58

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tigerdroveoverthebunnies Fri 10-Apr-09 17:40:08

Hey guys, I'm BAAACK.

nannyegg Fri 10-Apr-09 17:40:09

Blimey this has moved on a fair bit! Will go back and have a good read of both threads.

I'm pleased the silly sod got his comeuppance though, can't wait for tiger's update.

What a good Friday (sorry)


RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 17:40:27

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RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 17:41:11

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SlartyBartFastlaidanegg Fri 10-Apr-09 17:41:16

go tiger!

lou33 Fri 10-Apr-09 17:41:54

<holds breath in anticipation>

mylifemykids Fri 10-Apr-09 17:42:02

Fill us in Tiger!!!! Yay I can't believe I timed a MN visit with your arrival

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 17:42:02

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MuffinToptheMule Fri 10-Apr-09 17:42:14


Eve34 Fri 10-Apr-09 17:42:17

COME ON THEN SPILL.....................

LilRedWG Fri 10-Apr-09 17:42:22

Go Tiger, go!

littlelamb Fri 10-Apr-09 17:42:43

<<wets self with anticipation>>

YouKnowNothingoftheCrunchie Fri 10-Apr-09 17:42:53


macdoodle Fri 10-Apr-09 17:43:12

<<marks place breathes heavily>>

TheNatty Fri 10-Apr-09 17:43:13


OldLadyKnowsNothing Fri 10-Apr-09 17:43:37

<<refreshes frantically>>

RealityIsMyOnlyChocolateEgg Fri 10-Apr-09 17:43:42

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BitOfFunnyBunny Fri 10-Apr-09 17:43:57

< squeeeeeeak >

mylifemykids Fri 10-Apr-09 17:44:09

OH COME ON!!!!!!

RustyBunny Fri 10-Apr-09 17:44:13

F5 getting worn out...

MagNacarta Fri 10-Apr-09 17:44:29

oh God, I don't think I can hold on any longer - off to distract self.

Lizzylou Fri 10-Apr-09 17:44:32

DH and DS1 are back now, we have to have dinner.......

Come on Tiger!!!

MrsMagooo Fri 10-Apr-09 17:44:33

<<keeps hitting refresh>>

Fill us in quick grin

BecauseImWoeufit Fri 10-Apr-09 17:44:40

Type faster woman!

TheDevilEatsNestle Fri 10-Apr-09 17:44:42

Ach it's all a wind up , surely?

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 17:44:58

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sarah293 Fri 10-Apr-09 17:45:18

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mylifemykids Fri 10-Apr-09 17:45:41

She's taken Penguin man home for a curry!!

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 17:45:43

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lou33 Fri 10-Apr-09 17:45:45

ah riven you found it grin

LilRedWG Fri 10-Apr-09 17:45:49

Probably riven - it takes a long time to get the penguin suit off too!

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 17:46:12

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Amapoleon Fri 10-Apr-09 17:46:22

Oh no! The suspense is killing me!

Calyx Fri 10-Apr-09 17:46:26

*hands shiney a paper bag* breathe slooooow

BottySpottom Fri 10-Apr-09 17:46:42

She's just deflating Percy - give her time

mylifemykids Fri 10-Apr-09 17:47:11

Tiger you can't just post that you're back and then bugger off surely???

TheDevilEatsNestle Fri 10-Apr-09 17:47:21

Ah well even if it is, no harm done, as entertaining as a soap, if not more so.

PinkTulips Fri 10-Apr-09 17:47:21

feckin hell, have been ignoring the other thread in active convo's for the last few days thinking it was something completely differant... have just read the whoe thing and this one while i'm supposed to be doing dinner blush

tiger.... spill!

NorkyButNice Fri 10-Apr-09 17:47:59

type faster Tiger!

hippipotamiHasLost15Pounds Fri 10-Apr-09 17:49:10

Come on Tiger - my dear family are waiting for their dinner, am supposed to be cooking something exotic for Good Friday smile

MuffinToptheMule Fri 10-Apr-09 17:49:37

this is fishy. Only joking. Where are you Tiger?

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 17:49:49

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JuxaLOTmoreChocolate Fri 10-Apr-09 17:50:07


Xavielli Fri 10-Apr-09 17:50:19

She's probably basking in the glory of being the most eagerly awaited person on Mn atm grin

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 17:50:26

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screamingabdab Fri 10-Apr-09 17:50:34

Tiger's a big tease too!!!

oldraver Fri 10-Apr-09 17:50:41

I think the whole of MN is gonna have burnt fish fingers

goingplaces Fri 10-Apr-09 17:50:45

Waves newspaper over Shiny's face trying to revive her

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 17:51:17

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YanknbeforetheCockcrows Fri 10-Apr-09 17:51:26

<waves smelling salts>

Calyx Fri 10-Apr-09 17:51:39

Tiger that's been 10 whole minutes... look what you're doing to poor shiney! Did you SEE him?!!!

sarah293 Fri 10-Apr-09 17:51:50

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Deemented Fri 10-Apr-09 17:51:53

I could never be a penguin. I so don't do fish...

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 17:52:04

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YanknbeforetheCockcrows Fri 10-Apr-09 17:52:51

<pushes a fainting couch behind Shiney just in case>

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 17:52:55

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Nyx Fri 10-Apr-09 17:53:20

<waves smelling salts>

goingplaces Fri 10-Apr-09 17:53:20

More tension than an Eastenders Christmas spisode

Eve34 Fri 10-Apr-09 17:53:25


HerBeatitudeLittleBella Fri 10-Apr-09 17:53:26

LOL, she pretended to be Jane and has arranged to meet him tomorrow as well

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 17:53:37

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sarah293 Fri 10-Apr-09 17:54:03

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Nyx Fri 10-Apr-09 17:54:09

LOL YanknbeforetheCockcrows, you got there before me with the salts!

misscreosote Fri 10-Apr-09 17:54:22

OMG even DH is sitting next to me screaming 'press f5 press f5' !!

screamingabdab Fri 10-Apr-09 17:54:30

DCs have watched telly ALL AFTERNOON (Bad Mother)

unfitmother Fri 10-Apr-09 17:54:36

I sent DH to get fish & chips for dcs blush

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 17:54:36

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KinderEggKayzr Fri 10-Apr-09 17:55:19

I was about to turn the computer off. I can't do it now.

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 17:55:35

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mylifemykids Fri 10-Apr-09 17:56:22

It has been funny. Shame it's got to end !!

LobstersLass Fri 10-Apr-09 17:56:24

My f5 key is getting worn out!

Calyx Fri 10-Apr-09 17:56:26

What if tiger's internet's gone down? shock

sarah293 Fri 10-Apr-09 17:56:30

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YanknbeforetheCockcrows Fri 10-Apr-09 17:56:38

<dabs Shiney's face with cold water>

Dammit woman! Pull yourself together!

lou33 Fri 10-Apr-09 17:56:52

maybe tiger was/is HIM shock

Xavielli Fri 10-Apr-09 17:57:08

*wonders if this man can be charged with neglect via junk food consuption nationwide*

NorbertDentressangle Fri 10-Apr-09 17:57:36

Holy crap! I thought that I'd broken the thread for a minute -I read it , pressed "Watch" as I'm about to have dinner and got an ERROR message!!

Thankfully its still here though

oldraver Fri 10-Apr-09 17:57:37

Ha I bet she is savouring the drama.. and she deserves it after being out in the rain

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 17:57:46

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nannyegg Fri 10-Apr-09 17:57:49


The man would be a genius if that was true!

tigerdroveoverthebunnies Fri 10-Apr-09 17:58:30

Here's the story, the visuals aren't that great but it was worth it.

Well you all know that UNBELIVABLY he did turn up. What a bloomin' chancer.

I was lurking with DS in the rain, not many people about at the entrance to Birdland. Or not many standing around. Decided to ditch the plaits in case I was rumbled. (and the Tiger Tshirt) (and the inflatable penguin). Also checking out every likely looking mum in case of MNetters secretly lurking.

Had to let DS into a bit of the secret as he (DS)obviously was keen to go and see the penguins.

Anyway, matey showed about 5 past 2, clearly not one to make a lady think he's too keen. He'd have had the first text by then, so will have known that Jane was running a bit late. Clocked him at once - Shiny your description was spot on!

He was wearing a lightweight showerproof jacket. Typical male descriptive powers, it had a great fat red stripe on it which you could pick up by satellite but he didn't tell Jane that of course. Obviously hadn't read the forecast properly as it was raining quite a bit by then.

Anyway, he did the walk about, read the leaflets, read the other leaflets, look at the map, check his phone, repeat all the above routine. I had to keep my head down as I didn't want him clocking that I had clocked him (too many clocks in that sentence).

And DS kept saying "the youknowwhat is still here". Me: Yes, darling, the lovely heron YOU MEAN etc etc.

Anyway, he crossed the road to check out who was coming along from both directions. Must have been then that he got your second text.

He then came back to the entrance bit and stood miserably and very wetly against a fence trying to shelter from the rain.

But, the great numpty - there's a shop at the entrance - you don't have to buy tickets, you can just go in and look at all the lovely, er, penguins. We were busying in and out of the shop to try to make it all less obvious. However, he just stood in the rain getting damper and damper with that look on his face that men have when they realise something's up, but they don't know what it is. If Jane had got there first she'd have waited in the shop.

Well by then, the pressure was on from DS to go and see the penguins being fed. However, we did manage to nip back a few minutes later, only to see him still standing dripping under the fence.

And there, ladies, the story ends. I was hoping Jane could lure him into the penguin enclosure itself, but it was not to be.

Couldn't believe my eyes, ladies, I tell you, when I saw him turn up, all ready to get cosy with Jane.

kitbit Fri 10-Apr-09 17:58:36

ooh, is that how you do it, F5? I've been clicking. <muses>

goingplaces Fri 10-Apr-09 17:58:42

Tiger: "Sorry, Ladies, just had to pop out for some milk"

racmac Fri 10-Apr-09 17:58:42

oh come on tiger

OldLadyKnowsNothing Fri 10-Apr-09 17:58:58

*rushes off to stir veg curry*

DuffyFluckling Fri 10-Apr-09 17:59:03

Some of us have washing to do...

YanknbeforetheCockcrows Fri 10-Apr-09 17:59:13's been nearly 20 minutes! I can't take it anymore!

<shoves Shiney over and collapses on the couch>

bronze Fri 10-Apr-09 18:00:28

So..... shiny, what now?

mylifemykids Fri 10-Apr-09 18:00:41

OH that is just hilarious!!! Ha ha at him getting damper and damper

OldLadyKnowsNothing Fri 10-Apr-09 18:00:45

*leaves curry to burn and reads Tigers post instead*

I just cant handle the wait!

BalloonSlayer Fri 10-Apr-09 18:01:01


Anyone else feel a bit sorry for him?

Highly arfsome nevertheless.

Calyx Fri 10-Apr-09 18:01:04

Wahayyyyy! WELL DONE TIGER! Excellent grin Finally got closure! *off to have a cuppa to wind down from the excitement*

balismum Fri 10-Apr-09 18:01:14

brilliant, just brilliant. job well done laydees.

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 18:01:16

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Devendra Fri 10-Apr-09 18:01:20

Brilliant...worth the wait.. well done shiney and tiger...

LilRedWG Fri 10-Apr-09 18:01:23

Tiger! Did you get any pics?

cornsilk Fri 10-Apr-09 18:01:33

Any pics?

Watchtheworldcomealivetonight Fri 10-Apr-09 18:01:43


Deemented Fri 10-Apr-09 18:01:46


What a numpty! Him, not you, obviously!!!

mylifemykids Fri 10-Apr-09 18:01:48

I don't feel one bit sorry for him! What sort of person arranges to meet someone who 'accidently' texts them 2 days later??

He's a prat and deserved it!

oldraver Fri 10-Apr-09 18:02:09

Can I walk past his house with DS big stuffed penguin.....can I, can I ??

lou33 Fri 10-Apr-09 18:02:10


DuffyFluckling Fri 10-Apr-09 18:02:21

Well done Tiger!

Roffle at Tiger DS "the youknowwhat is still here!"

nannyegg Fri 10-Apr-09 18:02:27

OMG what a satisfying ending!

What a complete numpty!

chickaleggjac Fri 10-Apr-09 18:03:03

Ha ha set up by the whole of the female population, if only he knew!!!!

unfitmother Fri 10-Apr-09 18:03:04


MuffinToptheMule Fri 10-Apr-09 18:03:15

I can't believe he went. 'Jane' could have been a man or a 15 year old girl etc. Serves him right. (Although I do feel a bit sorry for him). Thank you Shineon and Tiger.

sarah293 Fri 10-Apr-09 18:03:20

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MarlaSinger Fri 10-Apr-09 18:03:30

OMG. This is brilliant - been following this since Weds. Tiger and Shiny - new heroes of Mumsnet!!

What a moron, ha ha ha! I bet he feels bloody shit!

I dont feel sorry in the slightest, he be a knob jockey & got away lightly IMO

Hope he gets man flu

tigerdroveoverthebunnies Fri 10-Apr-09 18:03:42

Sorry about the delays. We did spend hours at Birdland and then had to get some groceries, and then I had to feed the cats, and then I told you I was back in case you thought I was awol and then I had a cuppa had to type it all up.

No pictures. I did feel a tiny tiny tiny bit sorry for him in the rain, but once that nanosecond was over, I think he got the soaking he was cruising for.

If only Jane had been a hairy handed biker though, that would have been something to see.

YanknbeforetheCockcrows Fri 10-Apr-09 18:03:48

Hee hee hee hee heee hee!!!

Chortling madly now, well done Tiger, and well done Shiney!

BottySpottom Fri 10-Apr-09 18:04:39

FANTASTIC [GRIN]. So how long was he waiting by the time you left?

LilRedWG Fri 10-Apr-09 18:04:53

Well done both! This is a MN Classic if I've ever seen one!

Oh, I actually ended up feeling a little for him! Poor, damp fella! Well done Tiger for going- hope your son enjoyed the penguins.

Nyx Fri 10-Apr-09 18:05:18

Oh well done Tiger, and Tigercub, fab job! LOL grin Am so chuffed at the ending to the saga...daft 'trying to be a love-rat' bloke left standing in the rain...priceless!

KinderEggKayzr Fri 10-Apr-09 18:05:20

Brilliant Tiger!!!!!

cheltenhamgal Fri 10-Apr-09 18:05:29

brilliant, so glad that he got his comeuppance grin although I was planning on taking my DD there in a couple of weeks, she will wonder what on earth I am laughing at when we walk up to go in lol

vodkaandcoke Fri 10-Apr-09 18:06:24

Superb ending. Well done to Shiny and Tiger.

Calyx Fri 10-Apr-09 18:07:00

Tiger no apologies it was worth the wait! Still chortling at him getting wetter and wetter after saying mean things about his "ex" gf Shiney to a complete stranger (after having made a big deal about him and Shiney having to be exclusive)... karma I tell you, karma! grin

YouKnowNothingoftheCrunchie Fri 10-Apr-09 18:07:16

Brilliant grin

gagamama Fri 10-Apr-09 18:08:04

P-P-P-PMSL! grin

Poor sod, stood in the rain outside a penguin enclosure, hoping to get laid! (Pun totally intended...)

GumsNRoses Fri 10-Apr-09 18:08:04

Fantastic, ty Shiney and Tiger for the most entertaining thread of the year, lol at Tigers Ds grin

This thread should be a warning to all Numpty's......don't mess about our MNetters OR ELSE

tigerdroveoverthebunnies Fri 10-Apr-09 18:08:05

I reckon he was waiting about 25 mins before we hacked it. The penguin feeding was at 2.30 and we got there a few mins before it started. So if he really did stand there until Shiny's last text he'd have been there, in the rain, for about 40 mins. Nitwit.

His jacket was quite snug, let's put it that way.

Havent had this much fun for years grin

screamingabdab Fri 10-Apr-09 18:08:38

Well done. This has been fun

Calyx Fri 10-Apr-09 18:09:35

LOL @ 'his jacket was quite snug'

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 18:10:12

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Riallytoofattoflounce Fri 10-Apr-09 18:10:24

thanks tiger.

shiny - Jane could send him this?

NorkyButNice Fri 10-Apr-09 18:11:13

Brilliant work all round.

Surely no sympathy allowed for a man who is cheating on his gf by even being there (as his intentions obviously weren't honourable with "Jane")!

oldraver Fri 10-Apr-09 18:11:50

Tiger I am now gonna be looking for a 'snug fitting' cagoule with go faster stripes every time I go into town

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 18:11:52

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RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 18:12:43

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goingplaces Fri 10-Apr-09 18:12:51

smile @ "go faster stripes"!

BZN Fri 10-Apr-09 18:14:38

Shame you have said you want to end it now - I would love to know which section he works in at BZN and get DH or one of his mates to leave a trail of penguin biscuits around the place! grin
(have namechanged but have been following the thread)

BillSilverFoxBuchanan Fri 10-Apr-09 18:15:38

Brilliant ending. Haven't laughed so much in ages. Good work grin

BitOfFunnyBunny Fri 10-Apr-09 18:15:54

This has been so fabulous...he wasn't hurt, he's just had his pride dented and, er, got a bit wet- a fitting come uppance for a playa of amateur status, methinks grin

Shiny, we need a little closure though: I'm still voting for the "change your ways" penguin morality pic smile- your identity can remain a mystery!

NotPlayingAnyMore Fri 10-Apr-09 18:16:04

shock Great work, girls! grin

SpaceTrain Fri 10-Apr-09 18:18:13

I agree BOF - the penguin stare "change your ways" link will round it all off nicely (and not meanly)

TheDevilEatsNestle Fri 10-Apr-09 18:18:16

Oh now I know it's all a wind up.

We have been scoring trolls 2/10 quite a lot lately, this is a 10/10. Maybe we asked for it?

kitbit Fri 10-Apr-09 18:19:32

BZN, email Penguin Jane and ask!

MarlaSinger Fri 10-Apr-09 18:21:43

TDEN why do you think a troll? shock

oldraver Fri 10-Apr-09 18:21:54

BZN... thats exactly what I thought when people said they could be come back. Knowing how the forces work he would never say what happened due to his workmates ripping it out of him

CKelpie Fri 10-Apr-09 18:22:22

Fantastic write up Tiger, thank you both for a really good thread.

I do feel a teeny tiny bit sorry for him but not that much that I think he didn't thoroughly deserve what he got. He behaved very badly towards his 'exclusive' gf.

I would love to think that it will make him treat women better but from what you say, he is not that clever.

tigerdroveoverthebunnies Fri 10-Apr-09 18:22:37

TDEN have you posted on the wrong thread?

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 18:22:40

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LackaDAISYcal Fri 10-Apr-09 18:22:42

well done tiger grin

Is anyone else a bit sad that it's all over?

At least there's three more days of weekend to go grin

nkf Fri 10-Apr-09 18:23:35

What happened? Point me to the thread with the date update. Please pretty penguin please.

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 18:23:59

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tigerdroveoverthebunnies Fri 10-Apr-09 18:24:18

If am a troll I am damp one that smells of penguin poo. I AM NOT A TROLL

pginthecloset Fri 10-Apr-09 18:24:49

I don't think I'm fashionable enough for birkenstocks. I find them <whispers> ugly..

pginthecloset Fri 10-Apr-09 18:25:31

oops, wrong thread blush

BZN Fri 10-Apr-09 18:25:39

but DH wouldn't have to say why his DW had sent in some penguin biscuits to work...especially as they're on offer atm [bevilgrin]

Riallytoofattoflounce Fri 10-Apr-09 18:26:22

penguin poo is projectile. shame he didn't go near the enclosurewink

if you do the chocolate biscuit thing at his work he'll never trace it to shiny.

I feel sorry for him that he got wet, but hey...

Hope you didn't get too wet tiger, but it was a good causegrin

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 18:28:13

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JeanPoole Fri 10-Apr-09 18:28:51

where the penguin stare link?
i can't find it.

best thread ever on MN

oldraver Fri 10-Apr-09 18:29:20

Mybe he can got to the Falklands to see Jane cousins

nkf Fri 10-Apr-09 18:29:33

Blimey that's funny. Has he tried to get in touch with Shiney yet?

JuxaLOTmoreChocolate Fri 10-Apr-09 18:31:23

Well done tiger and shiny. Great way to start the weekend.

(I'd love you to send him a penguin through the post or the scary link, but hey, you're probably right to stop it now.)

tigerdroveoverthebunnies Fri 10-Apr-09 18:32:16

Now my only problem is that when my RL mates ask what I did at the weekend, if I tell them I went to Birdland on Saturday, I might get outed. Oh well, cross that one when we come to it....

Off to change out of the wet clothes, I am quietly steaming now. grin

SpaceTrain Fri 10-Apr-09 18:32:25

Shiney, of curse your not a troll. Devil's just jealous that you and Tiger are the toast of MN.

oldraver Fri 10-Apr-09 18:32:49

Rially .. my thoughts. If I 'casually' walked past his with a stuffed penguin and BZN sent in penguin bars he would never ever suspect Shiney

Shiney cant you keep your old number that he knows you as Shiney on, tho I know you said you wernt gonna answer him but you may have to let him know its off

Kayteee Fri 10-Apr-09 18:33:24

Pleeeeeeze send him the "penguin stare, mend your ways" thing...pleeeeze.

This is definitely the best thread I've come across on MN....Shiny and Tiger, thankyou it was a hoot! grin

lou33 Fri 10-Apr-09 18:34:51

jean, here

HecAteTheEasterBunny Fri 10-Apr-09 18:35:31

grin excellent.

The only thing I wish was different - I wish you'd told him Jane was you.

It's not a victory unless the other side knows it too! grin

lou33 Fri 10-Apr-09 18:36:50

i agree, i still reckon the we think you are a nob text should be done at some point

Jackbunnysmama Fri 10-Apr-09 18:37:09

P-P-P-PMSL at p-p-p-p-picturing a penguin in B-B-B-Birkenstocks!!!

differentEggD Fri 10-Apr-09 18:37:50

This is a fantastic result. Shiney, have you heard any more from twunt features yet?

MrsMagooo Fri 10-Apr-09 18:37:55

Love it, love it, LOVE IT!!!!

Well done Shiney & Tiger - bloody brilliant grin

MrsGokWan Fri 10-Apr-09 18:42:33

Mumsnet Penguin Army

Have been following this and think that both threads really should go into classics.

Well done Shineon, you have been really reat through all this and Tiger what a star for making it all the more real for us.

Macdog Fri 10-Apr-09 18:42:39

I salute Shiny and Tiger

Hobnobs all round!!


<<makes mental note NEVER to get on the wrong side of MNers, EVER>>

goingplaces Fri 10-Apr-09 18:44:57

Wondering how you're going to end the relationship, Shiney...

If there's just silence from you, surely m'laddo will smell (another) fish, and your delicious secret will be rumbled?

Ineedmorechocolatenow Fri 10-Apr-09 18:45:43

Hooray for Shiney and Tiger! Brilliant end to a wet bank holiday....

JeanPoole Fri 10-Apr-09 18:45:49

lou thanks, grin
very funny!

lou33 Fri 10-Apr-09 18:46:51

i would have to let him know it was me, that would end it for sure

JuxaLOTmoreChocolate Fri 10-Apr-09 18:53:23

Send him a link to this thread

Please please please send him a link to this thread

Amapoleon Fri 10-Apr-09 18:54:46

Brilliant, well done the pair of you!

BottySpottom Fri 10-Apr-09 19:05:05

'Hobnobs all round!!' eh Macdog? Penguins surely.

mychildrenarebarmy Fri 10-Apr-09 19:05:14

Have just caught up after we had to go and have tea. Tiger and Shiny, thank you. The most fun I have had on an internet forum ever. I'm another one in the please send him the penguin stare email camp though.

paisleyleaf Fri 10-Apr-09 19:06:31

Did he have the dangly penguin keyring?

mychildrenarebarmy Fri 10-Apr-09 19:12:13

oooo yes paisley we need to know this Tiger, it must be the final confirmation of just what sort of chap he is!

kitbit Fri 10-Apr-09 19:22:08

Send him a text Shiny - "Smile and wave boys, smile and wave..."

Riallytoofattoflounce Fri 10-Apr-09 19:23:11

maybe the keyring was covered by his kagoul? was there a little penguin-shaped bump tiger?wink

Riallytoofattoflounce Fri 10-Apr-09 19:32:47

I wondered if this would happengrin

LadyOfScoffleTheEasterEggs Fri 10-Apr-09 19:39:48


lemonadesparkle Fri 10-Apr-09 19:44:31

Have been following both threads and its been sooo much fun smile.

My dh is due back from 6months in penguin paradise (Falklands) next month and will be flying into BZN...I'm sure him and his mates would love to deliver some penguin related gifts to the man with the go-faster stripes.

Oooh and just remembered that dh has learnt how to make origami penguins while down there (am guessing he was bored)so could set him to work now to create a whole colony in time for homecoming grin

tigerdroveoverthebunnies Fri 10-Apr-09 19:47:20

well I think his anorak must have been covering it. And however much I heart you all ladies, I was not going to get down on my knees in front of him and pull up his cagoule to check grin

BonzoDoodah Fri 10-Apr-09 19:48:13

Brilliant update Tiger thanks for being the eyes for us all.

Shiney - surely he's going to text you again as normal. Are you just going to blank him from now on?

I am trying to decide which of these mugs we all need now ....

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 19:48:34

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Ohforfoxsake Fri 10-Apr-09 19:49:27

Shiney and Tiger

Thank you for bringing some brightness to my miserable bank holiday.

A classic.grin

Ohforfoxsake Fri 10-Apr-09 19:51:04

But the "You are an idiot" email is just too good not to send sad


oldraver Fri 10-Apr-09 19:52:01

I think for his sins he should be sent to the Falklands..Lemonade did your DH hate it as much as mine did ??

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 19:52:02

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lemonadesparkle Fri 10-Apr-09 20:00:03

Oldraver, he's spent the majority of last 4 and half years bobbing back, forth and around Antarctica so Falklands feels like his second home. I think he was enjoying it until the weather turned recently and he discovered ours at home was for once better than his grin. Oh and the sudden plague of mice that are now eating their way through all his possesions seem to have added a new level of loathing and he's NOW ready to come home grin

RustyBunny Fri 10-Apr-09 20:00:48

So, bearing in mind the number of journalists who see MN as the source of an easy story, it's not that unlikely that this will make the papers - what will you do then Shiney?

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 20:02:03

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sockmonkey Fri 10-Apr-09 20:03:16

Great threads guys. Well done

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 20:03:38

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RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 20:04:43

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RustyBunny Fri 10-Apr-09 20:07:44

But they might have been waiting for the denouement - after all it would have been a dead giveaway to have printed it before today.... much better story if they waited.
Maybe they had a photographer lurking there....


RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 20:09:37

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BitOfFunnyBunny Fri 10-Apr-09 20:11:22

I am still giggling like a loon thinking of him getting the burning stare of contrition grin

It will be the teeshirt I wear if I ever go to an MN meetup!

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 20:16:25

Message withdrawn

BitOfFunnyBunny Fri 10-Apr-09 20:18:07

Hurrah! grin

Do let us know if he texts back...

CKelpie Fri 10-Apr-09 20:21:49

This is a 'funny' which I have just received. Quite apt I feel.

Seven Dwarfs go to Rome

THE Seven dwarfs go to the Vatican , and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.

Grumpy leads the pack.
"Grumpy, my son," says the Pope, "What can I do for you?"
Grumpy asks, "Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf
nuns in the Vatican ?"
The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment
and answers, "No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in the Vatican ."
In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.
Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.
Grumpy turns back, "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all
of Rome?"
The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers,
"No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in all of Rome .
"This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.
Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry
Grumpy turns back and says, "Mr. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns
anywhere in the world?"
The Pope, really confused by the questions says, "I'm sorry, my
son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing,
pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin
"Grumpy shagged a penguin!"
"Grumpy shagged a penguin!"

SarahL2 Fri 10-Apr-09 20:23:51

Fantastic thread. Proving once and for all that while a woman scorned is a force to be reckoned with - a MNetter scorned is another barrel of fish altogether grin

flightattendant19 Fri 10-Apr-09 20:24:44

CKelpie I have almost wet myself grin

bohemianbint Fri 10-Apr-09 20:35:58

I love whoever's suggestion it was to get Jane to reschedule again for tomorrow at the monkey place...

Also fascinated to hear what happens if he finally gets in touch with you, Shiney.

Pennies Fri 10-Apr-09 20:39:22

Have been following this thread whilst on hols. What a classic. I found myself checking the time whilst on a chair lift halfway up a mountain wondering if the assignation had taken place!

mychildrenarebarmy Fri 10-Apr-09 20:45:45

Ckelpie. can't type. laughing too much.

FattipuffsandThinnifers Fri 10-Apr-09 20:48:56

Have followed the story - well bloody done Shiney and Tiger. Brilliant.

I salute, applaud and give you a pat on the back hearty enough to knock a penguin off its little flat feet.

PortAndLemon Fri 10-Apr-09 20:52:16

<bookmarks for any future updates>

oldraver Fri 10-Apr-09 20:55:14

Yes reschedule.... could also do it at the local farm.. in the shed where the donkey is

goingplaces Fri 10-Apr-09 20:59:42

Just wondering if this man is sitting around at home utterly confused and bewildered.

Perhaps this will shed some light on the matter...

Don't get caught in the dark!

goingplaces Fri 10-Apr-09 21:05:44

Wind up penguin torch...

Actually, my dd has one of these

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 21:06:08

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Portoeufino Fri 10-Apr-09 21:06:50

Here's his future here

loved this thread mumsnet rocks! well done Tiger and thanks shineon for the best mnet moment for a long time

Jackaroo Fri 10-Apr-09 21:38:06

Much as DH will be pleased that he didnt' have to get up with DS at 5.30am this morning, he will think I'm MAD that I leapt out of bed to do so...forgetting (silly man) that I had to check-in.

SO worth it - thank you girls, for the best best Easter present ever.

MNs around the world salute you.


chickaleggjac Fri 10-Apr-09 21:38:22

Just wondering...... did jane have his email address or will he be able to suss out who it is by who knows it?

BalloonSlayer Fri 10-Apr-09 21:41:48

Perhaps you could leave it a week or so Shiney, then say that your emotions have taken a dive.

And that you now feel rather cold about him

RumourOfAHurricane Fri 10-Apr-09 21:53:36

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lou33 Fri 10-Apr-09 21:55:55

mn have to make this a classic surely?

lou33 Fri 10-Apr-09 21:56:23

shine, tell him he's a bit of a wet fish

Dior Fri 10-Apr-09 22:16:53

Well, it is all over then! Sorry youi had to find out how crap he is, but at least you knew before you got too involved.

And, we all got a laugh out of it!

HortonHatchesTheChocolateEgg Fri 10-Apr-09 22:23:51

Really laughing hard at 'it's not all black and white'.

Shine, thanks so much for a really good laugh. I've enjoyed this so much!

thumbbunny Fri 10-Apr-09 22:33:29

MNHQ are debating making the original a classic (have had an email from them) - perhaps they'll link the 2 together and make them both classic.

vaRIAtyisthespiceoflife Fri 10-Apr-09 22:36:11

I wonder if he would be up for Jane asking for another date (at any of the suggestions, farm, wildlife park, duck pond etc). You may have helped him find his sense of humour?

LittleMissNorty Fri 10-Apr-09 22:36:59

Fab thread(s)....well done grin

DSM Fri 10-Apr-09 22:45:11

Oh, one of the best threads I have ever come across in 5 years of MN.

Shiney, Tiger - I salute you.


tigerdroveoverthebunnies Fri 10-Apr-09 22:47:52

It was truly a (rather damp) pleasure. But I just turned up to observe. Shiny did all the

BottySpottom Fri 10-Apr-09 22:51:46
BottySpottom Fri 10-Apr-09 22:53:41
JaquelinehydeAllTheEggs Fri 10-Apr-09 22:54:10

A Truely amazing thread. Thank-you to all who contributed! grin

juneybean Fri 10-Apr-09 22:54:36

Hahaha thanks for the update Tiger! Well worth it grin

soon2befamilyof4 Fri 10-Apr-09 23:05:12

What a mug to stand there for that long to wait for a random stranger that could have been anybody.

This bloke seems like such a twat - I think you have done yourself a big favour by catching him out. Just think if you hadn't of replied to that text in the start you might never have caught him out.

heyvick Fri 10-Apr-09 23:05:43

heyvick gets up, turns on computer, rushes to the loo, and races back to computer puffpuffpuff grin. She gets to part where the idjit has been stood up and breaks out in Happy Feet penguin dance roflmao. About to go to 2nd thread. Hi kerryy fancy seeing you here smile. Am about to get into rest of thread heehee

BottySpottom Fri 10-Apr-09 23:15:47
TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 Fri 10-Apr-09 23:22:16

I've not been on MN for awhile so this thread is the first I've read about it, brilliant! I love the pages of "come on tiger!" the fastest I've read 14 pages in awhile!

Have you thought about nominating him for Britains Got Love Rats?

ROFLPM @ tiger "I did feel a bit sorry for him but once THAT nanosecond was over....

This has GOT to be an MN classic pls pls

caramelwaffle Fri 10-Apr-09 23:37:48


Am going to celebrate by dipping a penguin bar in a big bowl of Frosties grin yum yum and hurrah!

Dreamaway Fri 10-Apr-09 23:41:16

Shiny are you still going to send him a penguin in the post?

In fact if each and everyone of us that has followed this were to send him a Penguin in the post it would completely do his head in trying to work out why all these biscuits were arriving from all over the uk

heyvick Fri 10-Apr-09 23:55:09

heyvick offers to send something from Australia. I'm sure kerryy would as well. Haven't seen the penguin biscuits out here, but i do have a Happy Feet bow tie from a p.j. set that I would be happy to donate to the good cause roflmao

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 Fri 10-Apr-09 23:59:26

Oh, yes please, I'd love to send him a Penguin biscuit grin

frankiecat Sat 11-Apr-09 00:01:14

can you just imagine receiving hundreds of penguin related merchandise all in one hit? i wish i had been a fly on the wall when he read his e mail. this has been a fantastic past few days LOL. well done shineon and tiger.

frankiecat Sat 11-Apr-09 00:01:49

caramelwaffle - a bowl of frosties??

KiwEasterKat Sat 11-Apr-09 00:02:08

Have just spent the last couple of hours discovering this and sniggering, much to DH's bemusement. He didn't see what was so funny - I, however, loved it all. You are all a very clever, funny bunch. Thanks for the entertainment.

Dozymare Sat 11-Apr-09 00:20:16

great thread! Can't we all send him a penguin from different parts of the World? Imagine, he would get near on 100+ penguins in the post!! That would really do his head in!

allthetwinklystars Sat 11-Apr-09 00:32:20

Well done shiny and tiger for following your plan so well. Can I just add that it seems to me that you have respected the boundaries of what is 'ok' well - maintaining his anonymity as well as yours and not pushing this too far. You've taken all the suggestions here and just judged it so well.

esselle Sat 11-Apr-09 00:33:15

Oh what a great result!

I have had to break my own self imposed rule of no MN before lunch but it was worth it!wink

Does anyone else have a man who needs sorting out?? He he he!!grin

heyvick Sat 11-Apr-09 01:12:00

esselle, I think they've all gone to bed lol

elfinblast Sat 11-Apr-09 01:12:59

Well, I have been glued to these threads for the past couple of days and I have to say that I think Shiney and Tiger are very cruel.
Do you know what happens to people like you? Yes, people who make penguin jokes at sad lonely men.

I'll tell you....
Mr Flibble gets very angry and Uncle Arnie fries you with his hex vision


OldLadyKnowsNothing Sat 11-Apr-09 01:23:15

Who's just been watching Red Dwarf reruns on Dave? grin

kerryy Sat 11-Apr-09 01:34:16

Hi heyvick and all, I couldn't stay awake any longer, eyes were bulging lol.
Well done shiny tiger, and way sucked in knobjockey.

elfinblast Sat 11-Apr-09 01:40:02

grin no OldLady, I only watched the new one tonight. I am a smeg head of old and proudly display my DVD collection (including the not so good series 8 box-set with free scutter toy)

elfinblast Sat 11-Apr-09 01:41:16

Should also mention that the Series 8 with scutter was a limited edition....yes I am that geeky

OldLadyKnowsNothing Sat 11-Apr-09 01:43:21

Fair enough, elfinblast, it's just that they showed that episode tonight.

elfinblast Sat 11-Apr-09 02:26:57

Drat! I'd of happily watched it again. I switched to sky+ and watched Gordon Ramsey and some cockroaches. hmm

heyvick Sat 11-Apr-09 06:25:39

Heyvick is just trying something here.........kerryy was having problems with the thread after doing a post this morning, and I've been having trouble all day as well since making a posting myself. sad

The last posting that I can see is

By elfinblast Sat 11-Apr-09 02:26:57
Drat! I'd of happily watched it again. I switched to sky+ and watched Gordon Ramsey and some cockroaches. hmm

I find it hard to believe that there wouldn't be any more postings since then.

Of course, if this posting goes thru ok, I'm probably not going to be able to see it anyway lol, but was hoping somebody could check for kerryy and me, to see if there is a problem?

Thanks, heyvick

heyvick Sat 11-Apr-09 06:26:35

hmmmmmmmmm, well that's gone thru ok. Are you all still asleep??? lol

Jackaroo Sat 11-Apr-09 08:08:19

I think everyone else is just asleep Hey shock... just us in the antipodes who are still cruising around .......

Wish this had been around when I was in dating mode - I'd have had a list for Esselle to sort out grin

sarah293 Sat 11-Apr-09 09:13:30

Message withdrawn

heyvick Sat 11-Apr-09 09:26:45

Hmmm Jackaroo, perhaps we need to get an Aussie site up and running? grin. A question, is Jackaroo a Jilaroo, or really a Jackaroo? heehee

heyvick Sat 11-Apr-09 09:40:07

amendment ,,,,,,, Jilaroo should have read JILLAROO blush

oldraver Sat 11-Apr-09 12:04:33

Shiney..... did he use dating sites ?? and if yes I wonder if his mates knew. I reckon he will always think it was one of them as it a very 'boys working/living together' thing.

Jackaroo Sat 11-Apr-09 13:04:50

Jackaroo is a jilaroo, but til I got here I didn't know there was a jilaroo.. maybe I should change my moniker!

We could set up an Aussie site, but I get my fix of "English" on here, so I'd still be torn!!

Jackaroo Sat 11-Apr-09 13:10:08

and there was I going by your superior knowledge.. grin Jillaroo

(sorry for the hijack everyone else)

BottySpottom Sat 11-Apr-09 16:10:47

Shineon - would love to know if he has been back in touch?

BalloonSlayer Sat 11-Apr-09 18:03:26

oooh Shiney I have thought of another thing you can say when dumping him that might make him scratch his head:

"I'm never sure what to make of you. It's like . . . you're neither fish nor fowl."

RumourOfAHurricane Sat 11-Apr-09 18:12:10

Message withdrawn

ItsMargotBeaurEGGarde Sat 11-Apr-09 18:35:45

He won't twig so long as you keep using your old phone. Why would he think you had two phones.

i think you're right not to tell him shiney. He'd be flattered by it, thinking you were jealous and hurt he wanted to see other women.

He wouldn't GET that he was trying to limit your options by telling YOU to be exclusive!!

I think you should dump him saying nothing, but take him down a peg!! Tell him you're just not attracted enough to be exclusive as he wants.

You don't want him to come out of this with a tale to tell his mates, I upset a girl who was really keen on me and she turned into a boiler, concocted this whole plan etc etc...

Good for you btw, this thread and the last thread have taken me an hour to read, but it has been an hilarious hour.

MrsMagooo Sat 11-Apr-09 18:46:55

This has kept me entertained for hours - this is by far the best MN thread I have ever read.

Did you send him that oenguin t-shirt Shiney??

RumourOfAHurricane Sat 11-Apr-09 19:14:47

Message withdrawn

Dior Sat 11-Apr-09 20:08:40

I was in Tesco this morning and Penguins were on special offer - I did have a little smile to myself!

PlumBumMum Sat 11-Apr-09 20:13:32

My ds went to a birthday party yesterday and he told me the mum gave them all a penguin aswell as a party bag, I had a little giggle to myself grin

And wondered is she a mumsnetter?

RumourOfAHurricane Sat 11-Apr-09 22:16:37

Message withdrawn

heyvick Sat 11-Apr-09 22:30:09

Happy Easter everyone smile.
6.20am, ready for the kids to come in at 6.30.
The kangaroo's been and dropped off the easter eggs, heyvick's obviously been a good girl this year grin
What am I going to do for fun now this is all over????
I agree with you shiney, there's a fine line between fun and nasty. Heyvick still wants to send him a penguin something tho lol.
If you're going to speak to him to finish things, perhaps tell him you don't think this exclusivity thing is working for either of you, and leave it at that?
Can you do penguin impersonations? You could slip one in there somewhere when you're talking to him lol.
Oooooooo, do you have any birdlife music you could have playing in the background when you talk to him?? I bet you could download a sound clip and have that playing when you talk to him grin, or you might be able to put it on your phone (heyvick is not the least bit technical, has basic phone set-up)
ahah, found one ---> look
Thanks again for all the entertainment ladies, we're certainly an evil lot - never underestimate the power of a woman, especially one who's being two-timed lol.

RumourOfAHurricane Sat 11-Apr-09 22:41:05

Message withdrawn

thumbbunny Sat 11-Apr-09 23:28:08

Shiney, I do hope you get a chance to dump him and manage to sneak in something about the exclusivity thing while doing it - don't let it just fizzle out! smile

BalloonSlayer Sun 12-Apr-09 07:27:05

"ordering penguin related shit "

- that's a good idea Shiney! Dump a lorry-load of penguin shit in his front garden... aah!

oldraver Sun 12-Apr-09 13:40:10

I did see at a zoo 'ZooPoo' for sale not sure which one it was

Watchtheworldcomealivetonight Sun 12-Apr-09 14:11:52

did anyone see the people dressed as penguins dancing on Britains got talent last night, I couldnt stop laughing about this thread.

juneybean Sun 12-Apr-09 17:41:08

Hahahaha yess! I couldn't believe my eyes. I also went to my mums and there were penguins in the fridge!!!!

It's a sign.

pingviner Sun 12-Apr-09 18:35:30

Grr, too late to thread cant belive I missed the penguin love rat fun!
(pingviner and the little pingvin were in denmark)

TrillianEAstraEgg Sun 12-Apr-09 22:17:18

Well done Shiney and tiger, fantastic stitching-up of someone who more than deserved it.grin

BottySpottom Wed 15-Apr-09 19:29:29

OK, I knooow this has been done to death, but just before I click 'remove watch', was there any more news from him Shineon?

mychildrenarebarmy Wed 15-Apr-09 19:56:08

Was wondering the same thing myself. Did he respond to the penguin stare email?

BonzoDoodah Thu 16-Apr-09 17:56:46

Yes Shineon how have you got on with him since the weekend? Do you think he's cottoned on yet?

bohemianbint Thu 16-Apr-09 21:13:10

Oooh, I want to know too!

trixymalixy Mon 20-Apr-09 13:34:05

Any updates?