Super soaker etiquette at parties

(402 Posts)
tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 19:22:40

Does this sound ok to you?

My ds2 age 8 has been invited to a classmate's party tomorrow (after school ends, last day of term).

The party will take place outdoors in a small park next to the school. (Host and helpers will take the whole class to the park after school ends in the afternoon - hurrah!)

I saw the host's mother yesterday to confirm arrangements. Ds1 begged to bring his large super soaker water pistol with him - and a spare one to give to someone else.

Host's mother and I had a quick talk and agreed it was ok as long as it was warm weather. But I am not sure if host's mother was agreeing under duress IYSWIM. Ds2 was being very insistent and I wonder if the mother was just being polite through gritted teeth?

I told ds2 in front of host's mum that she had my absolute permission to veto any super soaker activity on the day.

ds2 has come home from school today obsessed with super soaker plans. He has apparently got his teacher's permission to bring in bottles of water and store them, along with his two super soakers, in school for use at the party (as there is no water supply at the park). I keep reminding him that if it is cool or if children get upset, the water fight is off, but he seems to have his mind set on this.

I cannot contact host's mother - can't get her phone number and I am unlikely to see her tomorrow morning as she does not do the school drop off. So as it stands,
ds2 will arrive at school tomorrow complete with super soakers.

I plan to write a letter to host's mother re-iterating that she has my utter permission to ban super soakers and ds2 knows this. I will give this letter to ds2 to give to her at the beginning of the party. Ds2 knows I will check that he has given her the letter when I collect him.

It's the end of term, the party is outdoors, I don't want to put the dampers on ds2's plans but hmmm.... what would you think if you were the host's mother? Would you be ok with this?

PS Bit of extra background - some of the parents of ds2's classmates see him as a bit of a livewire, so from what I can gather, he tends not to get too many play date or party invites. This is the first class party he has been invited to for ages and I have told ds2 it's really important that he does what he is told by the host mother so the other parents will see he takes notice. At school, ds2 is reasonably well behaved - I never have to see his teachers about his behaviour, and as a rule he plays well in a group, but I know he will be running around in a frenzy of super soaker, end of term excitement.....

NigellaTheOriginal Thu 17-Jul-08 19:26:19

um. i think id say no. soakers are only funny if everybody has them. i think it might all end in tears if only 2 out of the party have them.

Califrau Thu 17-Jul-08 19:27:02

I think it would be very wrong to take it. It it were a water pistol party and everyone were taking them then fine. If it were your DS's party then fine otherwise I'd be bloody pissed off if some kid turned up at my kid's party and soaked everyone.

no no no no!!!!!

you have to talk to your boy and say that you are really sorry but you have changed your mind and it really isn't a good idea at all.

trust me-it will end in tears if he takes it.

Califrau Thu 17-Jul-08 19:28:29

(and my DS is 8 too - he's old enough to go to a party and not need to take something with him. hmm

lostinfrance Thu 17-Jul-08 19:28:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

meglet Thu 17-Jul-08 19:29:19

I think it may be sensible to leave the super soaker at home. It will end in tears. Your DS will survive without it.

Califrau Thu 17-Jul-08 19:31:22

"have told ds2 it's really important that he does what he is told by the host mother so the other parents will see he takes notice."...so the host would be on full duty policing your DS2 and not hosting...again NO!

cocolepew Thu 17-Jul-08 19:31:38

no, if it was a super soaker themed party it would be ok, not just him soaking everyone.

Hulababy Thu 17-Jul-08 19:32:48

I'd say no too, sorry.

Water fun is all fun if all children are involved, if all have a super soaker too. I can envisage tears and upset if just two have them.

And TBH I can't see how it would fit in wiith ay plans the mum will have had of her own - how can she do games, etc. when 2 are running round with water pistols?

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 19:35:09

More background info - ds2 did take his super soaker to the school summer fair in the same park a few weeks ago and it went down ok - no tearful children, ds2 doing lots of running around with a group of children, but not much direct soaking - no dramas. Many of the same children will be at tomorrow's party. Mind you the weather was very warm and sunny then.

Califrau Thu 17-Jul-08 19:36:34

still no.

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 19:36:36

If ds2 does not have the super soaker, he will probably still run around, making pretend guns out of sticks.

tigermoth-if every single person saying no doesn't put you off i don't know what will!

welshdeb Thu 17-Jul-08 19:37:04

Sorry but I agree with the other posters. If it was a water pistol party fine, but otherwise no.

If he soaks his class mates even if it is in fun it may be unlikely to lead to an increase in his popularity with his classmates parents,

Califrau Thu 17-Jul-08 19:38:06

have a water pistol party for him next week or something. Running round with sticks and making weapons is completely different to soaking the crap out of people.
DS1 and his best friend have soakers and go nuts with them but it's pre-arranged that they have spare clothes with them (whichever house) and it's just them.

Hulababy Thu 17-Jul-08 19:38:51

I'd still say no. Don't think it would be fair on the whole, plus - as said before - may well interfere with the mum's actual party games.

TheFallenMadonna Thu 17-Jul-08 19:40:35

You seem keen to let him take it, and I wonder why.

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 19:40:59

but he didn't get any chidren soaked at the school fair (I was there so I know) - and water will be very limited as the park has no water supply.

And the mother said yes to him brining it, with the provisos outlined in my op....

LynetteScavo Thu 17-Jul-08 19:41:04

tigermoth - COME ON!

Your "live wire" DS will so not be invited to any parties next year if he takes his supersoker tommorow!

snice Thu 17-Jul-08 19:41:42

What is the host's mother supposed to do with 10 wet children shivering in a park? It would be extraordinary of you to allow him to hijack the party like this- I can just imagine her AIBU thread on here!

ok let him take it. go ahead but then don't come on here saying 'why doesn't my kid get invited to any parties!'

traceybath Thu 17-Jul-08 19:44:33

Definitely no. I'd have probably said yes if you'd cornered me and your little boy was begging but i'd have been seriously pissed off.

And if you're hoping he makes a good impression on the other parents - him running round with a water soaker is asking for trouble.

flowerybeanbag Thu 17-Jul-08 19:45:42

This is so not a good idea. I think it's clear the other mum said yes because you caught her completely off guard even asking the question in the first place. I bet she is at home whinging to her DH right now about it and wishing she'd been able to think on her feet a bit more.

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 19:46:09

I'm not 100% against him taking it, as the host mother and I have talked it through already. Host mother knows me a bit - we are not strangers (have met socially in a group from time to time). I am just concerned she meant what she said.

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