Super soaker etiquette at parties

(402 Posts)
tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 19:22:40

Does this sound ok to you?

My ds2 age 8 has been invited to a classmate's party tomorrow (after school ends, last day of term).

The party will take place outdoors in a small park next to the school. (Host and helpers will take the whole class to the park after school ends in the afternoon - hurrah!)

I saw the host's mother yesterday to confirm arrangements. Ds1 begged to bring his large super soaker water pistol with him - and a spare one to give to someone else.

Host's mother and I had a quick talk and agreed it was ok as long as it was warm weather. But I am not sure if host's mother was agreeing under duress IYSWIM. Ds2 was being very insistent and I wonder if the mother was just being polite through gritted teeth?

I told ds2 in front of host's mum that she had my absolute permission to veto any super soaker activity on the day.

ds2 has come home from school today obsessed with super soaker plans. He has apparently got his teacher's permission to bring in bottles of water and store them, along with his two super soakers, in school for use at the party (as there is no water supply at the park). I keep reminding him that if it is cool or if children get upset, the water fight is off, but he seems to have his mind set on this.

I cannot contact host's mother - can't get her phone number and I am unlikely to see her tomorrow morning as she does not do the school drop off. So as it stands,
ds2 will arrive at school tomorrow complete with super soakers.

I plan to write a letter to host's mother re-iterating that she has my utter permission to ban super soakers and ds2 knows this. I will give this letter to ds2 to give to her at the beginning of the party. Ds2 knows I will check that he has given her the letter when I collect him.

It's the end of term, the party is outdoors, I don't want to put the dampers on ds2's plans but hmmm.... what would you think if you were the host's mother? Would you be ok with this?

PS Bit of extra background - some of the parents of ds2's classmates see him as a bit of a livewire, so from what I can gather, he tends not to get too many play date or party invites. This is the first class party he has been invited to for ages and I have told ds2 it's really important that he does what he is told by the host mother so the other parents will see he takes notice. At school, ds2 is reasonably well behaved - I never have to see his teachers about his behaviour, and as a rule he plays well in a group, but I know he will be running around in a frenzy of super soaker, end of term excitement.....

NigellaTheOriginal Thu 17-Jul-08 19:26:19

um. i think id say no. soakers are only funny if everybody has them. i think it might all end in tears if only 2 out of the party have them.

Califrau Thu 17-Jul-08 19:27:02

I think it would be very wrong to take it. It it were a water pistol party and everyone were taking them then fine. If it were your DS's party then fine otherwise I'd be bloody pissed off if some kid turned up at my kid's party and soaked everyone.

no no no no!!!!!

you have to talk to your boy and say that you are really sorry but you have changed your mind and it really isn't a good idea at all.

trust me-it will end in tears if he takes it.

Califrau Thu 17-Jul-08 19:28:29

(and my DS is 8 too - he's old enough to go to a party and not need to take something with him. hmm

lostinfrance Thu 17-Jul-08 19:28:39

I don't want to pee on your ds's parade, but I'd have said no too. If it was me / my dc / my party I'd have said no at the outset. Sorry.

meglet Thu 17-Jul-08 19:29:19

I think it may be sensible to leave the super soaker at home. It will end in tears. Your DS will survive without it.

Califrau Thu 17-Jul-08 19:31:22

"have told ds2 it's really important that he does what he is told by the host mother so the other parents will see he takes notice."...so the host would be on full duty policing your DS2 and not hosting...again NO!

cocolepew Thu 17-Jul-08 19:31:38

no, if it was a super soaker themed party it would be ok, not just him soaking everyone.

Hulababy Thu 17-Jul-08 19:32:48

I'd say no too, sorry.

Water fun is all fun if all children are involved, if all have a super soaker too. I can envisage tears and upset if just two have them.

And TBH I can't see how it would fit in wiith ay plans the mum will have had of her own - how can she do games, etc. when 2 are running round with water pistols?

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 19:35:09

More background info - ds2 did take his super soaker to the school summer fair in the same park a few weeks ago and it went down ok - no tearful children, ds2 doing lots of running around with a group of children, but not much direct soaking - no dramas. Many of the same children will be at tomorrow's party. Mind you the weather was very warm and sunny then.

Califrau Thu 17-Jul-08 19:36:34

still no.

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 19:36:36

If ds2 does not have the super soaker, he will probably still run around, making pretend guns out of sticks.

tigermoth-if every single person saying no doesn't put you off i don't know what will!

welshdeb Thu 17-Jul-08 19:37:04

Sorry but I agree with the other posters. If it was a water pistol party fine, but otherwise no.

If he soaks his class mates even if it is in fun it may be unlikely to lead to an increase in his popularity with his classmates parents,

Califrau Thu 17-Jul-08 19:38:06

have a water pistol party for him next week or something. Running round with sticks and making weapons is completely different to soaking the crap out of people.
DS1 and his best friend have soakers and go nuts with them but it's pre-arranged that they have spare clothes with them (whichever house) and it's just them.

Hulababy Thu 17-Jul-08 19:38:51

I'd still say no. Don't think it would be fair on the whole, plus - as said before - may well interfere with the mum's actual party games.

TheFallenMadonna Thu 17-Jul-08 19:40:35

You seem keen to let him take it, and I wonder why.

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 19:40:59

but he didn't get any chidren soaked at the school fair (I was there so I know) - and water will be very limited as the park has no water supply.

And the mother said yes to him brining it, with the provisos outlined in my op....

LynetteScavo Thu 17-Jul-08 19:41:04

tigermoth - COME ON!

Your "live wire" DS will so not be invited to any parties next year if he takes his supersoker tommorow!

snice Thu 17-Jul-08 19:41:42

What is the host's mother supposed to do with 10 wet children shivering in a park? It would be extraordinary of you to allow him to hijack the party like this- I can just imagine her AIBU thread on here!

ok let him take it. go ahead but then don't come on here saying 'why doesn't my kid get invited to any parties!'

traceybath Thu 17-Jul-08 19:44:33

Definitely no. I'd have probably said yes if you'd cornered me and your little boy was begging but i'd have been seriously pissed off.

And if you're hoping he makes a good impression on the other parents - him running round with a water soaker is asking for trouble.

flowerybeanbag Thu 17-Jul-08 19:45:42

This is so not a good idea. I think it's clear the other mum said yes because you caught her completely off guard even asking the question in the first place. I bet she is at home whinging to her DH right now about it and wishing she'd been able to think on her feet a bit more.

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 19:46:09

I'm not 100% against him taking it, as the host mother and I have talked it through already. Host mother knows me a bit - we are not strangers (have met socially in a group from time to time). I am just concerned she meant what she said.

cat64 Thu 17-Jul-08 19:46:51

Are you in another part of the world where there is a heatwave going on ? Here it's been 'OK' this weeek - as in 'not actually raining', but it is not exactly hot and the children who get wet are not going to steam the water off in a few seconds. My kids all love a water fight too - but on a scorching hot day, or, at worst, at home so they can then get in a nice hot bath. This really is not a good idea, unless you are trying to alienate yourself and your son from the others.

she didn't mean it she was being polite!!!! trust me!!

TheFallenMadonna Thu 17-Jul-08 19:47:50

I would honestly already be hmm at you not just knocking it on the head to start with TBH.

flowerybeanbag Thu 17-Jul-08 19:49:55

tigermoth you sound an awful lot less than 100% against him taking it. You are coming across as though you are happy for him to take it and are looking for people here to tell you it's fine. Apologies if that's not the case but that's how it sounds to me.

partaria Thu 17-Jul-08 19:50:42

Hosting a whole class party outdoors + livewire with supersoaker + spare supersoaker + water store + end of term excitement = sorry but absolutely not. It's your ds's classmate's party, not ds's own "plan" which may or may not need to have "dampers" put on it...
...let him have his own supersoaker party at yours another time.

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 19:50:59

Have already said to ds2 that the whole super soaker thing is a definite no if the weather is cool like it has been today. But on wednesday it was hot here - don't know what the forecast is for Friday.

juuule Thu 17-Jul-08 19:51:21

No, from me too. Take note of all the posts and don't let him take it.

Hulababy Thu 17-Jul-08 19:51:31

If you are at all concerned that she didn't really mean it or that she felt somewhat pressured into it by you or your DS - don't let him take it.

Instead of him going with the soaker, and doing his own thing - encourage him to go without, and to join in with the actual party events that will take place, with all the children that are there.

TheFallenMadonna Thu 17-Jul-08 19:52:37

Given the feedback you've got here, and your own doubts, why not just say 'not this time'. It honestly seems like a no-brainer to me...

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 19:52:56

I'm 50/50 I think. It depends on whether I take the host mother's stated feelings on this at face value or assume she was lying to me.

juuule Thu 17-Jul-08 19:53:55

And thinking about it, I can't believe that you even considered it for more than a microsecond without dismissing it.

she was lying!!!!!

and even if she wasn't-trust us! it will end in trouble and tears!!!!

i can't believe you are thinking about this!

TheFallenMadonna Thu 17-Jul-08 19:55:32

I'm sure someone will be along soon who will turn the thread for you - there usually is wink

flowerybeanbag Thu 17-Jul-08 19:55:43

I think saying she was lying to you is a bit harsh! She felt cornered and caught off guard and with DS there begging felt she had to say yes, which she is now regretting but feels she can't take it back. That's not lying.

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 19:56:17

I can see from my ds2 POV that it was a logical request - he was only asking to do the same thing he had done a few weeks ago, in the same place with the same people - with no mishaps.( Host's mother was at the school fair so saw him in action there).

traceybath Thu 17-Jul-08 19:56:33

she was being polite. You now need to be polite and tell your son - not this time.

snice Thu 17-Jul-08 19:56:36

THe "etiquette" here is that it is not your DS's party and so he should not be setting the agenda for it.

juuule Thu 17-Jul-08 19:56:57

Whatever the mother said or meant (and it sounds as though she was put on the spot) think it out for yourself. Your ds has been invited to a party. He should join in with the others who have been invited and not have the potential to swamp the proceedings with a super soaker which only he and one other could use when it wasn't originally a 'wet' type of party.

traceybath Thu 17-Jul-08 19:57:59

But its her son's party - its his special day not your sons.

And the letter idea is not a good one - i'd hate that if i was the host. She'll have enough to deal with without telling your son he can't after all play with a super soaker.

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 19:58:06

Remember she has a get out clause - she has my utter permission to ban the super soaker on the day - can do so 2 minutes into the party if she wants to.

flowerybeanbag Thu 17-Jul-08 19:58:15

Just because an 8 year old thinks something is logical doesn't mean it's ok or a good idea!

TheFallenMadonna Thu 17-Jul-08 19:58:21

I think it would be hard to issue an outright 'no' when a child is "very insistent" and his mother is negotiating on his behalf.

But I wasn't there and I don't know her, so I guess you are better placed to make a judgement regarding her poisition.

spicemonster Thu 17-Jul-08 19:58:59

I think some people have trouble saying no when put on the spot like that. School fair is one thing because that is a general occasion. This is one little boy's birthday party. The boy whose birthday it is does not have a super-soaker. He is not going to have a nice time if your DS takes his. Sorry.

partaria Thu 17-Jul-08 19:59:48

Tigermoth it's not about whether she was lying; the woman was put by you on what all the posters think was an awkward spot. she had to think on her feet and you must see the big fat social clue staring at you - namely there are conditions put on the use of the invasive disruptive nuisance toy at her son's party.

boot on other foot; if you were hosting a large party for excited children and someone's child and his mum were keen on him bringing something that wasn't universally popular with a danger of it irritating the hell out of some/all of the other children, would you honestly be 100% chilled about it or would you privately be thinking "I wish X hadn't asked me that; hope she gets the hint"...??

Honestly now ?

juuule Thu 17-Jul-08 20:00:15

You ban it and then she doesn't need a get out clause.

cat64 Thu 17-Jul-08 20:00:40

So you can't say 'no to your own ds, but are asking another mother to do it for you ? hmm

unfitmother Thu 17-Jul-08 20:01:29

NO, you are not being fair.

welshdeb Thu 17-Jul-08 20:02:36

Your choice - disappoint your son over this and don't piss off the rest of the parents in the class, (who get cold wet kids at the end of the party) or give in and run the risk of him not being invited to any more parties/ play dates.

Hulababy Thu 17-Jul-08 20:02:41

The woman may not feel like she is able to say no, even at the time.

I think it is wrong to let DS do this, I really do. I would definitely say no now. It is his classmate's birthday party - he should be the special child, the one who is the focus and centre of attention. Mum shouldn;t have to be supervising other child and friend running round, not joining in with rest of party activities and doing their own thing. It just doesn;t seem fair.

andyrobo237 Thu 17-Jul-08 20:05:27

I agree with spicemonster - a fair is different to a party as you just go the the fair and dont know who is there, whereas a party you have been invited - it would have been hard for the host mum to say no to you, unless she was a very good friend. I as the parent of the child would have said ' o' but you can have it on the way home or we will go to the park the next day and you can have fun with it then. It is not fair on the other kids at the party - some may not like water pistols - there may be girls there in pretty summer dresses, who would not like it.

No No No No - and again No

I think the theme on this thread is a resounding no!

andyrobo237 Thu 17-Jul-08 20:05:34

I agree with spicemonster - a fair is different to a party as you just go the the fair and dont know who is there, whereas a party you have been invited - it would have been hard for the host mum to say no to you, unless she was a very good friend. I as the parent of the child would have said ' o' but you can have it on the way home or we will go to the park the next day and you can have fun with it then. It is not fair on the other kids at the party - some may not like water pistols - there may be girls there in pretty summer dresses, who would not like it.

No No No No - and again No

I think the theme on this thread is a resounding no!

andyrobo237 Thu 17-Jul-08 20:05:43

I agree with spicemonster - a fair is different to a party as you just go the the fair and dont know who is there, whereas a party you have been invited - it would have been hard for the host mum to say no to you, unless she was a very good friend. I as the parent of the child would have said ' o' but you can have it on the way home or we will go to the park the next day and you can have fun with it then. It is not fair on the other kids at the party - some may not like water pistols - there may be girls there in pretty summer dresses, who would not like it.

No No No No - and again No

I think the theme on this thread is a resounding no!

pgwithnumber3 Thu 17-Jul-08 20:05:46

NO NO NO NO NO! I can't believe you thought it was an okay idea in the first place. Water pistols are great if you are in your own garden, kids are stripped off and there are only a couple of them having a laugh with it. NOT at a party where there will only be 2 pistols available and most children are not going to be wanting to be soaked to the skin and freezing cold thus ruining the party for them.

Can't believe you are not taking on board the advice already given. Just say no to your DS. I understand he will be disappointed but unfortunately, it is not his party.

cornsilk Thu 17-Jul-08 20:06:13

I put ours in the car boot yesterday and it's staying there. It will be a nightmare. There's a big difference between playing at the school fair and playing at a birthday party when the chn are full of pop and cakes. Do not send it.

morningpaper Thu 17-Jul-08 20:08:21

what everyone else said

Also - I would think that if it was my child who wasn't invited to many parties because he was a bit of a PITA, I would probably want to attend to keep him in check as a favour to the other parents - hang around and help and be nice and make sure that you are the one keeping him in control, and hopefully he'll be invited out a lot more

good luck

CaptainUnderpants Thu 17-Jul-08 20:08:27

NO NO NO ! You are being very unfair to the other Mum - 'she has my utter permission to ban the super soaker on the day ' - what a cop out by you !

Stand up to your DS and tell him NO, not his party.

cocolepew Thu 17-Jul-08 20:08:34

Nobody has said yes doesn't that tell you something? It's not up to the other mum to say 'no' to your son, it's up to you.

melpomene Thu 17-Jul-08 20:10:29

Not fair to give host mother the responsibility of confiscating it. It would only take seconds for him (or another boy) to squirt people who aren't happy with it, and by then it's too late to confiscate it. People won't have changes of clothes with them. (or adult helpers could get soaked, party food could get soaked etc)

Agree with previous suggestions to arrange a super soaker party for him another time, when everyone knows what they are letting themselves in for.

flowerybeanbag Thu 17-Jul-08 20:13:31

I'm a bit bemused about why you even asked us tbh. You do seem either dead keen to let him take it or frightened of saying no to him and to make yourself feel less guilty you are really trying to get someone to say it's ok. It's not.

SorenLorensen Thu 17-Jul-08 20:13:46

I'm going to go even further - dh's boss was shot in the eye at close range with one of these at a family barbecue a couple of years ago. He was lucky not to lose his eye and still only has partial vision in that eye. I know it was a one-in-a-million accident but you are not going to be there to supervise, loads of over-excited kids...I wouldn't do it, personally.

melpomene Thu 17-Jul-08 20:14:02

I'm also surprised that the teacher gave permission for him to bring them to school!

CaptainUnderpants Thu 17-Jul-08 20:15:26

You will not be doing your DS any favours by letting him take it to the party - looks like he will live up to his name as a livewire and gets even less invites and playdates .

Make a stance - for his sake .

welshdeb Thu 17-Jul-08 20:17:50

You have said that he "apparently" has the teacher's permission for this.

Have you verified that he actually has permission to take these into school. I know that it wouldn't be allowed in my dc school.

OurHamsterisevil Thu 17-Jul-08 20:18:33

No its not fair unless every child has one.

Califrau Thu 17-Jul-08 20:19:10

has there been a yes yet?

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 20:21:49

I can't be there at the beginning as I will be at work, but will arrive about mid way through.

I'd be happy if I was hosting a party to ban OTT super soaker activity from guests - it's just part of what you'd normally do as a host. I wouldn't feel put upon, but I do take notice of your overwhelming feeling that this mother could feel under pressure. I do know the mother to some extent and she strikes me as being quite strong and fiesty - able to hold her own.

But I want opinions, hence starting the thread.

PS the birthday child is a girl, and likes playing running around 'boys versus girls' games with my ds - she is also quite fiesty.

pgwithnumber3 Thu 17-Jul-08 20:22:05

Well I am going to change my mind and say YES DO IT and then let us know tomorrow night if it goes down like letting a rabid dog off its lead at the party. grin

spicemonster Thu 17-Jul-08 20:22:20

No. I feel sorry for tigermoth - I don't think I've ever read a thread where everyone was in agreement (and not with the OP)

CaptainUnderpants Thu 17-Jul-08 20:22:23

Hopefully OP is having a good think about this or telling her DS 'NO ! '

hmm

WhatsupDoc Thu 17-Jul-08 20:22:59

Who is the adult here - mum or DS?

Sounds like DS is calling all the shots. I don't understand why mum won't put her foot down. hmm

morningpaper Thu 17-Jul-08 20:23:43

Tigermoth why don't you comprise with your son

Take the super soakers with you and say that he can play with them after the party with you and his friend who he wants to play with

But seriously, NOT at the party, (with the deepest respect) you are quite quite bonkers if you think that's ok

pgwithnumber3 Thu 17-Jul-08 20:24:04

I don't think I have ever read a thread and the OP has had a 100% NO feedback and she is still thinking about letting her DS take the flaming water pistol.

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 20:29:42

Also, if I ban the super soaker, I will tell ds2 it is purely because of the weather - too cool to risk getting anyone a bit wet.

Although I have told him it's in his interest to behave well as there will be some of his classmates' parents present, I certainly don't want him to assume that no super soaker means he will automatically get playdate invites. I know ds2 will be lively whatever happens and tbh, I have no faith that there will be a rush of invites heading his way whatever he does or doesn't do.

litterbug Thu 17-Jul-08 20:29:58

FGS!!

Just tell him 'no'.

Let him go and enjoy the party, dry, like everyone else.

Then invite some of his friends round for a supersoaker play date next weekend!

TBH im the kind of person who would agree to someone bringing a super soaker out of sheer inability to say no!!

Secretly I would be praying them mum saw sense and banned it for me!

snice Thu 17-Jul-08 20:31:32

Ok -could you just think about this -inadvertantly your DS soaks one of the other party guests.He/she bursts into tears and is inconsolable.

Host's mother is trying to calm the child down whilst simultaneously organising party games and wondering how she is going to explain the wet children to the other mothers.

Your child mysteriously receives no further party invites but never mind he got his own way over taking the water gun and you didn't have to stand up to him!

pgwithnumber3 Thu 17-Jul-08 20:32:55

It's hard enough work for the host without having to deal with crazy kids running around with gigantic water pistols and scores of screaming girls running away from them.

Have you decided yet that it is a bad idea Tigermoth?!

sis Thu 17-Jul-08 20:33:16

Tigermoth, I'm really sorry but I have to say that I agree with everyone else. I don't the think the letter helps - if anything, it is likely to irritate the mum even more as she will have her hands full trying to keep an eye on everyone at the party and not really want to read a letter which reiterates what you have told her face to face.

I suspect that because you and your ds are so lovely, the other mum didn't have the heart to say no to your request. If I was the other mum, I would be pretty stressed by the idea of your ds bringing a super soaker to my dd's party (sorry!).

Hulababy Thu 17-Jul-08 20:34:04

Why can you child not join in with the party activities that the mum hass already planned for her DS's party, along with the other guests? Why is he being allowed to be different?

CaptainUnderpants Thu 17-Jul-08 20:34:06

Just tell him NO - go and do it now - we will be here to support you , go now !

Mutt Thu 17-Jul-08 20:35:28

It has nothing to do with the weather being cool.

Just tell him he can't take it because it isn't fair on the other children.

Why is that so hard to see, and to say?

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 20:35:28

can I say again that there wouldn't be much water to soak anyone with, as there is no water supply in the park?

AFAIK the mother isn't organising games for all - this is more a run around picnic in small park sort of afternoon.

Hulababy Thu 17-Jul-08 20:36:29

And why does the only reason for not taking it have to be the weather? Why can yiu not explain to him why it wouldn't be fair on the other children, especially the birthday girl, if he had it? Why can he not be told that as a guest he should join in with the arranged activities and not plan his own games excluding everyone bar him and one friend?

CaptainUnderpants Thu 17-Jul-08 20:37:09

Brick wall - bang head !

pgwithnumber3 Thu 17-Jul-08 20:37:26

FGS Tigermoth, are you terrified of your DS? If there isn't going to be a lot of water, what is the point in taking them anyway?

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 20:37:33

It's not that I am afraid to tell my son 'NO' - honest!

It's just that I am mulling it over.

Mutt Thu 17-Jul-08 20:37:34

TBH he sounds like Horrid Henry.

And with respect, you're like his wimpy mum.

Just say NO.

It's inappropriate.

"Livewire" is not a compliement, believe me, so do him a favour and ban the super soaker from all parties.

Hulababy Thu 17-Jul-08 20:38:11

So let him run around with the other guests, in the same way they are going to be doing? TBH if running around type party - probably even more reason as to why it would be wrong and unfair to take it. The logistics will be a real pain for the host. If all running about very eas chance of people who don't want to be wet getting wet.

flowerybeanbag Thu 17-Jul-08 20:38:46

Why would you tell him it was purely because of the weather? Why can't you just say no and tell him why (all the reasons people have said here)? No harm in him learning about stuff like this at his age.

sis Thu 17-Jul-08 20:39:00

yes, but he will be taking extra stocks of water with him! Tbh, the amount of water isn't really the point. Gosh, I'm going to leave it now because this is all a bit to one-sided.

pgwithnumber3 Thu 17-Jul-08 20:40:02

Tigermoth how would you feel if you arranged a party for your DS, one of the mum's asked if her DS could bring some custard pies and then start throwing them at the other children and generally being a PITA? You would be secretly fuming. Why can't your DS just go to the party and play like the rest of the children?

morningpaper Thu 17-Jul-08 20:40:03

YOU ARE CRAZY

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

YOU ARE DRIVING ME INSANE

IT IS LIKE TALKING TO MY 2 YEAR OLD

Where is Psycho and her drunk dinner party guest

onceinalifetime Thu 17-Jul-08 20:40:23

I say a big fat NO too. Can't believe that you are still pursuing the idea and the fact that you won't be there at the beginning of the party makes it even worse. The other mother has got more than enough to think about. Sorry but it just sounds like you cave into whatever your ds wants without considering the needs of others. Stop being so selfish!

flowerybeanbag Thu 17-Jul-08 20:40:33

I really don't know what there is to 'mull over'. I can't think of any possible reason why anyone would think this was a good idea, I really can't.

pgwithnumber3 Thu 17-Jul-08 20:40:52

This thread is hilarious.

unfitmother Thu 17-Jul-08 20:41:17

She's not listening!!

juuule Thu 17-Jul-08 20:41:41

He's 8yo. Surely if you explained to him how it wouldn't really be polite to take it to the party, then he would want to not spoil the girls party. Just talk to him about it.

onceinalifetime Thu 17-Jul-08 20:42:20

Is this a wind-up?

nappyaddict Thu 17-Jul-08 20:43:31

is the spare one going to be given to the bday child?

juuule Thu 17-Jul-08 20:43:57

Tigermoth -you've started this thread as a wind-up, haven't you? You must have. Well it looks like it worked.
You were never seriously thinking of letting your ds go with the supersoaker, were you?
Own up.

CaptainUnderpants Thu 17-Jul-08 20:45:20

the bday child that is also feisty ? oh what a great combination !

I bet the host Mum is stocking up on the gin for tomorrow night !

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 20:45:47

As my son has himself heard the host mother herself say that he can bring his super soaker subject to the weather, I think the weather reason is the best way of saying no.

Bringing a super soaker to an outdoors summer party with the host's permmission is not wrong per se IMO.

CaptainUnderpants Thu 17-Jul-08 20:47:50

ARRGGGGHHHHH!

juuule Thu 17-Jul-08 20:47:53

Whatever he heard the host mother say, you telling him that he can't take it and the reasons why, are the most appropriate and best way of saying no.

Mutt Thu 17-Jul-08 20:47:56

So you'd rather lie to him than explain about good manners.

Good manners dictate that you don't take it.

The only reason she said it was because she's one of these weird people who find it hard to say no to unreasonable people.

THAT IS YOU!

SorenLorensen Thu 17-Jul-08 20:48:17
Hulababy Thu 17-Jul-08 20:48:27

Sorry, but unless it is a prearranged water party for all children being invited, and all children will have such soakers with them, all able to join in then it is not right IMO.

cocolepew Thu 17-Jul-08 20:48:32

So why did you ask on here, if you don't see anything wrong with it?

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 20:48:58

I can easily say 'no' - I am not bothered about doing this in the slightest.

unfitmother Thu 17-Jul-08 20:49:26

You asked about ettiquette, the answer is party ettiquette is that the host decides activities!

juuule Thu 17-Jul-08 20:49:38

"Bringing a super soaker to an outdoors summer party with the host's permmission is not wrong per se IMO"

Only if the party was a super-soaker party and every child had been told that. Like having a pyjama party or other themed party.

Mutt Thu 17-Jul-08 20:49:48

So do it then!

Stop thinking about letting him take it or make up some half-arsed excuse about the weather.

You're fucking nuts to even consider this might be ok.

pgwithnumber3 Thu 17-Jul-08 20:50:23

This is a wind up isn't it Tigermoth?

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 20:50:33

I don't think it's bad manners to bring a super soaker to the sort of party he is going to - so that's why I will not be taking this line with my son.

WhatsupDoc Thu 17-Jul-08 20:50:55

This thread is totally winding me up. I am getting all hot and flustered about it.

NO NO NO NO. How rude.

I'm off for a lie down.

onceinalifetime Thu 17-Jul-08 20:51:18

I don't think you can easily say no - it seems to be your last option when it should have been your first.

spicemonster Thu 17-Jul-08 20:51:25

Just say no, you've changed your mind. It's the mother's prerogative to change her mind. Tell him 200 people surveyed said they thought it was a bad idea and so you have changed your mind.

Also, if you really thought the mum was fine with it, you wouldn't be wondering if she'd said yes through gritted teeth.

cocolepew Thu 17-Jul-08 20:51:30

AAAARRRGGGGHHH

Mutt Thu 17-Jul-08 20:51:41

No wonder he doesn't get many invites.

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 20:52:15

For all I know the host parent might be bringing super soakers herself.

cocolepew Thu 17-Jul-08 20:53:28

<<Runs away from thread>>

Mutt Thu 17-Jul-08 20:53:29

And if she does, that's her prerogative.

It's her party.

Not your party.

Not your son's.

Her party.

It Is Not Your Decision To Make.

Morloth Thu 17-Jul-08 20:53:43

This is a wind up isn't it? Surely you can just say NO.

Not his party, he doesn't get to decide the games. If you don't want the other parents there to be thinking, 'geez that kid is a brat how dare he mess up PartyGirl's party with his water pistol'

I would be mightily pissed off if I sent my kid to a party in the park and he came back wet and cold, also have you considered the fact that there will be only 2 water pistols and who knows how many kids.

Don't do this to your son.

unfitmother Thu 17-Jul-08 20:53:46

But you don't know do you??

pgwithnumber3 Thu 17-Jul-08 20:54:07

<< runs off after cocolepew, to soak her with super soaker>>

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 20:54:31

whatupdoc, if you're that hot and flustered I could send my son round with his super soaker to cool you down

onceinalifetime Thu 17-Jul-08 20:54:37

I suspect your invites may dwindle further.....

meglet Thu 17-Jul-08 20:54:46

[stunned silence at tigermoths refusal to take sensible advice] shock

FrannyandZooey Thu 17-Jul-08 20:55:10

blimey o reilly

Heated Thu 17-Jul-08 20:55:10

What's the point of this post?

You've phrased it in the OP as a stupid idea, everyone has universally agreed it is a stupid idea, ergo...

i wouldn't invite your son to any parties or playdates either.

No it doesn't sound ok to me. It sounds like a nightmare. Your son and his friend will be completely out of this poor woman's control as soon as they hit their soaking stride - because that's what excited 8 yr olds are like. As a bonus she also gets to contend with wet and pissed off children - including her own child - whose arrival in the world she would probably quite like to celebrate. If she wanted a water party- she would have organised one. Just say no to your ds. 'NO' - it's a wonderful and useful word!

TheFallenMadonna Thu 17-Jul-08 20:56:22

Now that's not really fair TMMJ.

cocolepew Thu 17-Jul-08 20:56:40

<<punches pgwn3 for soaking me when I said NO, that's NO tigermoth>>

morningpaper Thu 17-Jul-08 20:56:50

> Tell him 200 people surveyed said they thought it was a bad idea and so you have changed your mind.

lolololol

pgwithnumber3 Thu 17-Jul-08 20:57:30

It's what will happen though TheFallenMadonna.

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 20:57:33

Hang on everyone, before you run away in disgust. Say you were having a picnic in a park on a sunny day and one of your guest's children happend to arrive with a super soaker - would you automatically think they were terribly rude?

EffiePerine Thu 17-Jul-08 20:57:55

can't see the prob with telling him 'not your party, no supersoaker'

odd

EffiePerine Thu 17-Jul-08 20:58:15

yes

peanutbear Thu 17-Jul-08 20:58:29

I think that as the other children wont have a change of clothes its not a good idea no one will want to stay for a picnic after running round the park in wet clothes

and I think if he accidently caught a parent with some water it will only lead to bad feeling

DO you really want to be worried all day tomorrow about what you may turn up to

Its not like the other mother can call you to get him if you are at work when he himself gets soaked

Also this is a public park I assume could be embarrassing if the hijack a complete stranger with loaded super soakers

onceinalifetime Thu 17-Jul-08 20:58:31

Good God alive......

Mutt Thu 17-Jul-08 20:58:51

Er....Yes!

You really needed to ask that after 141 posts to that effect?

I'd also think his mother was a rude and lacking in common sense.

sorry fallen but it's true! if he is allowed to bring giant water pistols to a birthday party and has a mum who thinks it's ok, then i suspect he would not be on the invitation list!
this is what tigermoth needs to realise-his social life will not be so good if she allows this as all the parents will say 'i'm not having that at MY party!'

pgwithnumber3 Thu 17-Jul-08 20:59:06

It's not just a picnic in the park though, it is an organised party to which there is etiquette, doesn't matter if it is for an 8 year old.

pgwithnumber3 Thu 17-Jul-08 20:59:47

<double soaks coco as she loves it really>>

If they super-soaked me or any of my chicks then yes I would think it was bloody rude actually!

nkf Thu 17-Jul-08 21:00:31

No no and no again.

GentleOtter Thu 17-Jul-08 21:00:51

<jumps on supersoaker with both feet and breaks it>

Hulababy Thu 17-Jul-08 21:01:10

But this is not a picnic in the park on a summer's day - it is a party where your child is a guest, one of many.

nd TBH, unless all cildren at the picnic had soakers then yes - you probably bug me. And I'd like to know in advance so that if my child was to join in I could have brought spare clothes, etc.

meglet Thu 17-Jul-08 21:01:40

tigermoth if a child turned up unexpectedly with a super soaker at a picnic then it wouldn't bother me if the parent was staying to supervise.

it just isn't reasonable to expect the host of the girls party to control your DS with his super soaker.

CaptainUnderpants Thu 17-Jul-08 21:01:49

Anything good on TV tonight ? Getting a bit bored grin

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 21:02:00

But super soakers are meant to be fun? Like a football or a frisbee. If I was having a picnic and a friend's child turned up with a super soaker, providing the day was warm and it was used responsibly I would be delighted!

y
a
w
n

20 children and 1 or even 2 toys is not fun. It is a disaster! Get a grip woman!

traceybath Thu 17-Jul-08 21:03:15

I would think it was rude.

To be honest i'd have thought you were mad to let him have one at a school fair.

Its just asking for trouble.

Fine in your garden as numerous other people have said but not on in a park.

Also - other non-party attendees would get mightily pissed off if they got wet in the park.

onceinalifetime Thu 17-Jul-08 21:03:18

'livewire' plus supersoaker = nightmare

parent minus discipline and manners = double nightmare

spicemonster Thu 17-Jul-08 21:03:55

Yes if I were having a picnic in the park on a sunny day and one of the kids arrived with a super-soaker my heart would sink, I'd regret inviting him and I'd curse his mother. Sorry but you did ask

morningpaper Thu 17-Jul-08 21:04:41

Yes it's rude

And it was rude at the school fair

And the people were laughing POLITELY but really they just wanted their children to concentrate on the coconut shy and get out of there as soon as possible and DRY

Hulababy Thu 17-Jul-08 21:04:49

You aren;t getting it though - you may love it, but on here at least that is a minority view, especially at a party.

Super soakers can be fun yes - if everyone is involved, have a soaker each, have towels and clothes to change into, etc.

If you like the idea so much - hold a aparty yourself that does involve super soakers, just don;t impose it on other child's birthday treat.

pgwithnumber3 Thu 17-Jul-08 21:04:56

Tigermoth either you are deluded or this is a huge joke.

Morloth Thu 17-Jul-08 21:05:58

It is a wind up, no one is this dense.

On the off chance it isn't a wind up, I reiterate tigermoth, if you want to virtually ensure that your kid moves from "livewire" to "BRAT" in parent's minds then this is the way forward.

If I saw this happen at a friend's party NO CHANCE would your kid be getting invited to any I hosted.

ChippyMinton Thu 17-Jul-08 21:06:01

Ah yes that well known toy the water squirting football/frisbee hmm
Honestly I'd give up now Tigermoth, it is a terrible idea and you cannot justify it.

wulfstan Thu 17-Jul-08 21:06:11

perhaps the host's mother didn't like saying no to someone else's son, as you seemed to be saying yes. Honestly, I can't see why you're going against the unanimous opinion here

nappyaddict Thu 17-Jul-08 21:06:16

but all the children will be wet and they won't have anything to change into??

peanutbear Thu 17-Jul-08 21:06:23

Would you really be delighted if there was 2 children with super soakers and 4 others without

IMHO children this age arent great at sharing things like that but all the other little boys will want a go with them

I think you think its a good idea so let him do it then there is only you who can make the decision

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 21:07:30

I am amazed at the anti super soaker feeling on here - but impressed my op has got so many answers. And in such a short time

morningpaper Thu 17-Jul-08 21:08:03

and yes she was being polite, she was taken aback at your rude request

e.g.

GUEST: "Hello, thanks for this lovely dinner party! Do you mind if I urinate in your pot plant?"

Host: "Ermmm... no, go right ahead."

Doodle2U Thu 17-Jul-08 21:08:29

Well I think it's a great idea. Yes, I vote YES - let him take the super soaker. He'll have a wonderful time and all the other children will squeal with delight and gambol around like fawns and gazelles, trying to avoid being squirted - jolly japes all round.

I think the letter idea was a stroke of genius too.






grin

amidaiwish Thu 17-Jul-08 21:08:44

are you thick?

sorry, but you must be

i have no more to say, but honestly, listen to what people are saying.

you have a "livewire" equals pain in the arse son who doesn't behave and doesn't get invited to anyones parties.

he's been invited to a party

he wants to bring a supersoaker and has somehow convinced his teacher to let him bring water

he goes to the party, soaks everyone (as if he is going to listen to the host) and ruins the party.

you are unreal. get a grip.

Morloth Thu 17-Jul-08 21:08:50

Oh no, we love super soakers, we have 4 of the back pack ones, one for me, one for DH, one for DS and one for a guest to defend themselves with. The difference is we don't hijack other people's parties because we aren't rude.

ChippyMinton Thu 17-Jul-08 21:09:48

a time and a place for supersoakers
this is neither

juuule Thu 17-Jul-08 21:10:00

Okay so that was the aim of the post. How many replies in as short a time as possible. Well done Thank goodness for that. I was beginning to suspect it was a serious post and was starting to feel a bit sorry for your ds.

meglet Thu 17-Jul-08 21:10:09

[notices it's a full moon tonight] hmm

Doodle2U Thu 17-Jul-08 21:10:24

I think the way you've managed to use 'super soaker' in every single post on this thread is very clever as well.

CaptainUnderpants Thu 17-Jul-08 21:11:35

Perhaps Op is a salesperson for 'super soakers ' !

Doodle2U Thu 17-Jul-08 21:13:01

I know, I know......put some drops of food colouring in to the pre-filled water containers that you are planning to send in to school - oh, what fun!

Jackstini Thu 17-Jul-08 21:13:07

TM - completely different just someone turning up ad hoc at a park with one. DSome kids may have frisbees, some balls etc.
This is the birthday girl's party. You need to explain to ds that when you are specifically invited somewhere, especially when it's their birthday, he does what they want.
Even if the b'day girl likes supersoakers, 2 between a whole party is unfair.
Please, please take everyone's hints (subtle or otherwise grin) and say NO
He can invite them all for a supersoaker party at his house in the summer. (and all the parents will love you for not having to have it at theirs!!)

Doodle2U Thu 17-Jul-08 21:14:11

...or PISS IN THEM!!!!

CaptainUnderpants Thu 17-Jul-08 21:14:55
Morloth Thu 17-Jul-08 21:14:57

Boy Who Could Fly - anyone? "That's not water!"

TheFallenMadonna Thu 17-Jul-08 21:15:22

Sorry, but had to LOL at "used responsibly"

?

Doodle2U Thu 17-Jul-08 21:15:41

grin @ CU grin

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 21:16:04

I will be saying 'no' - I had a feeling before I started this thread that I probably would.

But many of you are o incredibly doom and gloom about bringing super soakers out of private gardens and my own experience of this is different.

My son has taken his super soaker to playgrounds on hot days, I have been there to watch and tbh no child has burst into tears and no one has been soaked to bits. DS2 takes two or more super soakers with him and happily and lets other children user them. There is far more more running around than firing of water and when it's fired, the other children seem to dodge out of the way quite easily - and everyone seems to have fun.

Morloth Thu 17-Jul-08 21:17:21

yes yes, it's all OUR fault that this was a crap idea.

can't you invite any super soaker owners to another play date in the park, hosted by you, equipped with towels and spare old dry t shirts?

TheFallenMadonna Thu 17-Jul-08 21:18:37

He seems awfully keen on them tigermoth...

Doodle2U Thu 17-Jul-08 21:18:47

THREE "super soaker" mentions in that post TM. Are you trying to get it to come higher up the Google search list? Is Super Soaker business slower than expected with this spate of wet weather? grin

Doodle2U Thu 17-Jul-08 21:19:25

grin @ morloth!

spicemonster Thu 17-Jul-08 21:20:08

tigermoth - I have come to the conclusion that you are either on a wind-up or totally deluded. At the risk of sounding like a stern teacher (or your mum), I would think very hard about your attitude towards bloody super-soakers, your DS being a 'livewire' and the fact that he doesn't get invited on many playdates and consider whether these elements might be in any way connected.

Of course, if you want your DS to continue to be treated as a social pariah, go right ahead.

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 21:21:42

It just goes to show how different our perceptions are. I thought, as long as host was ok about it, that having some super soakers would be a nice thing on a hot day. Would add something to the event, not take something away from it.

Doobydoo Thu 17-Jul-08 21:23:04

You are being odd I think.

ingles2 Thu 17-Jul-08 21:23:32

<snurk>
you are joking right?????
Never in a million trillion years would I let my 8 yr old ds take "super soakers" (trademark) to a class party in the park where I'm not supervising!
This maybe why he's invited to all the parties!
hmm

maybe tiger-if you can go out and buy enough for every child at the party to have one, contact every parent to ensure they have a change of clothes to bring to the party, and make sure there is water for everyone.

Jackstini Thu 17-Jul-08 21:24:09

But if the host thought that - they would have been providing them.....
Maybe she likes them but just not at her dd's bday party.
Each to their own.

wordgirl Thu 17-Jul-08 21:24:37

Presumably if they thought it was a nice thing they would have brought their own supersoakers!

onceinalifetime Thu 17-Jul-08 21:26:17

You'll certainly be taking something to the party, a reminder not to invite your ds to the next one.

spicemonster Thu 17-Jul-08 21:27:41

But the host is probably not okay about it! As you said in your OP!

<smacks forehead>

Okay, I give up now.

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 21:31:56

It's possible other children are bringing all sorts of outdoor stuff, 'SS's' included to this party/picnic - the host parent has not made it clear what's is happening. Has only said that ds2 can bring his SS when I asked her what was the score on this.

morningpaper Thu 17-Jul-08 21:34:12

Why don't you just give him an air rifle

morningpaper Thu 17-Jul-08 21:34:42

And a punch-bowl full of alcopops

And some fags

scrappydappydoo Thu 17-Jul-08 21:35:02

Sorry, have to agree with everyone else, don't do it. It may be just a picnic in the park but its still a party and therefore party rules apply. Were you really considering sending your son to a party with a toy just because you think it would 'add to the event'?? How rude and insulting to the host who has obviously worked hard to plan the party!!

ingles2 Thu 17-Jul-08 21:35:40

tigermoth if you really thought it was ok for your ds to take his "SS" you wouldn't even be asking us,

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 21:35:50

Oh come ON morningpaper!

Anyway, have to go now!

morningpaper Thu 17-Jul-08 21:36:43

and some Anne Summers "Party Games"

and a cap gun

morningpaper Thu 17-Jul-08 21:37:17

and those magazines from under your mattress

StellaDallas Thu 17-Jul-08 21:37:24

Goodness, I have just read through this whole thread and I really have to hand it to you, Tiger. I've never seen anyone on MN defend an untenable position so undauntedly before. Most people would be gibbering under the dining room table by now.
But you are still wrong, you know wink

morningpaper Thu 17-Jul-08 21:37:43

and a large spider in a jam jar

Supersoaker Thu 17-Jul-08 21:39:44

shame there is not a drought order this year

SoupDragon Thu 17-Jul-08 21:40:57

It's a cr*p idea and you know it.

SoupDragon Thu 17-Jul-08 21:41:51

Hey! If he takes an air rifle he can shoot something for the picnic tea. A pheasant for example.

morningpaper Thu 17-Jul-08 21:43:47

or a classmate

harpomarx Thu 17-Jul-08 21:44:57

lol at large spider in a jam jar. That would have reduced me to a gibbering wreck until a few years ago as a child.

yes, why not bring some snarling dogs too?

morningpaper Thu 17-Jul-08 21:46:15

OMG snarling dogs is a GREAT idea

Make sure they are hungry

and perhaps with a frayed rope for a lead

FluffyMummy123 Thu 17-Jul-08 21:46:37

Message withdrawn

everlong Thu 17-Jul-08 21:46:48

Come on now - TM is on the wind up.

everlong Thu 17-Jul-08 21:48:50

That would be funny if the host super soaked TM's ds, that would quiet him down!

CaptainUnderpants Thu 17-Jul-08 21:50:30

Bucket of water might do the trick !

harpomarx Thu 17-Jul-08 21:51:56

lead morningpaper? lead???

grin

morningpaper Thu 17-Jul-08 21:52:58

p.s. make sure he has a box of matches for the fags

morningpaper Thu 17-Jul-08 21:53:11

and a can of aerosol paint

harpomarx Thu 17-Jul-08 21:53:27

swan vestas, natch.

Doodle2U Thu 17-Jul-08 21:54:09

He could just piss on everyone with his own...erm... 'onboard equipment' and be done with it.

CaptainUnderpants Thu 17-Jul-08 21:54:50

aerosol - for painting or sniffing ?

morningpaper Thu 17-Jul-08 21:56:02

oh sniffing yes

A bag and some glue

maybe a knife too

SoupDragon Thu 17-Jul-08 21:56:10

Perhaps he could take a copy of the CLBB and be done with it.

lizinthesticks Thu 17-Jul-08 21:57:06

If he sprayed me with it I'd shove it up his arse.

morningpaper Thu 17-Jul-08 22:01:49

I don't think that's in Debrett's

HumphreyCushioni Thu 17-Jul-08 22:03:17

Just read the whole thread.

Tigermoth, I admire your tenacity.
You're clearly mad.
And very, very wrong.
But I admire your tenacity. grin

If your DS took his super soakers, then he would be the centre of attention.
It's not his party.
He can't be the centre of attention.

Just.
Say.
No.

CaptainUnderpants Thu 17-Jul-08 22:04:12

a bit more interesting than pin the tail on the donkey .

Doodle2U Thu 17-Jul-08 22:04:55

Me too lizinthesticks. And then I'd come on here and start an AIBU thread about it grin

TM, I think it's a bit rotten to send him off with super soakers when all the other guests won't expect it. How about a couple of paint ball guns instead?

morningpaper Thu 17-Jul-08 22:05:35

What about a Taser?

cba Thu 17-Jul-08 22:05:45

i am pissing myself laughing at this.

tiger you certainly are persistent, think host mother might have just said yes to shut you and make a quick get a way.

Do you think your ds has not had many party invites due to hime being a live wire, or perhaps mum not always taking a hint. Eh, not a bad thing in some situations but not this one.

Host your own SS party and see how many people you get attending, let us know!

HumphreyCushioni Thu 17-Jul-08 22:06:12

Our family rules state:

if someone super soaks an unarmed person, the unarmed person is at liberty to chuck a whole bucket of water at the 'hilarious joker' who soaked them in the first place.

Our days are simply packed with japes and frolics.

Doodle2U Thu 17-Jul-08 22:07:04

Or laser pens.

CaptainUnderpants Thu 17-Jul-08 22:08:52

Just get a cattle prod .

HumphreyCushioni Thu 17-Jul-08 22:09:50

The host mother may have spent the day arranging to call in a favour from a friend in the fire service.

Tiny Tigermoth squirts supersoaker.

Birthday girl retaliates with 60ft water hose.

With her mother's permission, of course. grin

Doodle2U Thu 17-Jul-08 22:09:53

grin

morningpaper Thu 17-Jul-08 22:12:27

Laser pens, excellent.

Perhaps they could try to take down a plane.

Doodle2U Thu 17-Jul-08 22:14:15

Cattle prod - now there's an idea for a novel party game!

CaptainUnderpants Thu 17-Jul-08 22:16:49
Doodle2U Thu 17-Jul-08 22:19:37

CU - did you not read this bit in the OP?

"He has apparently got his teacher's permission to bring in bottles of water and store them, along with his two super soakers, in school for use at the party"

Now where's he gonna store a tank? Tut!

CaptainUnderpants Thu 17-Jul-08 22:23:16

But he has the Heads permsission for ground to air missiles - stored behind the bike shed .

morningpaper Thu 17-Jul-08 22:28:53

Do you have any Weapons of Mass Destruction? Do they fit in his school satchel?

tigermoth Thu 17-Jul-08 22:30:30

ok, this is what is happening: I have told ds2 that he cannot take his super soakers.

But he has said some of the other children are bringing their super soakers (oh goodness, horrible thought, do you think the host mother is now relying on ds to bring his super soaker and will be cross that we let her down) anyway... whatever is or isn't the true case, judging by the reaction on here, I will not let ds have them without being 100% sure they are welcome.

I will put them in the boot of the car and when I arrive, AND if it's a warm day, will see what's what.

If other children have Super Soakers, or similar, I will take host mother to one side and ask her if I should let ds2 have them. If host mother says 'yes' I will really press the point but if I am convinced she means it, then I will take them out of the car. (But with some trepidation after seeing all your messages!

Califrau Thu 17-Jul-08 22:30:51

MORNING PAPER shockhmm

You KNOW you're not allowed to mention Weapons of Mass Destruction. <shakes head>
Remember what happened last time? hmm

cat64 Thu 17-Jul-08 22:31:25

It's not often I read through 10 pages on one thread, but this one has kept me amused this evening grin. It's the fact it's such a ridiculous idea that she seems to be still trying to defend pages, and pages in, that's so hilarious. Also, I don't think I've ever seen a thread where everyone agrees shock

cba Thu 17-Jul-08 22:32:52

tigermouth, you really are persistent. I have not laughed at a thread so much in ages.

Go on, host your own super soaker party you and ds2 will have a blast

HumphreyCushioni Thu 17-Jul-08 22:33:44

LOL @ Cali.
Oh MorningPaper! Tut tut. shock
<<covers ears to loud banging noises caused by MNHQ battening down the hatches>>

Stopfighting Thu 17-Jul-08 22:34:02

Why couldn't you have just said 'no' to him? hmm

CaptainUnderpants Thu 17-Jul-08 22:34:05

'do you think the host mother is now relying on ds to bring his super soaker and will be cross that we let her down' - er no not really hmm

roisin Thu 17-Jul-08 22:34:40

I think your solution is a good one TM.

Hope he enjoys the party and has fun.

Doodle2U Thu 17-Jul-08 22:37:36

DM headline tomorrow - "Super Soaker sales rocket after severe dousing couple of mentions on Mumsnet parenting forum".

this has to be added to classic threads grin

<outrage at a supersoaker emoticon>

From now on when ever anyone asks whether they did a wrong thing or whether they were being unreasonable someone will now respond:

"At least you didn't bring the supersoaker" grin

Yep -Supersoakers will be right up there with Fruit Shoots and sausage rolls in the mumsnet halls of infamy!

harpomarx Thu 17-Jul-08 22:51:57

perhaps if you continue to stick to your guns in the face of furious opposition you could be known as a Supersoaker Mum?

mablemurple Thu 17-Jul-08 23:00:40

I don't think this is the real Tigermoth. She's sold her name on ebay in order to raise funds to buy more shares in SuperSoakers plc and we've got some random loon posting under her name instead grin.

maidamess Thu 17-Jul-08 23:02:39
cat64 Thu 17-Jul-08 23:09:07

grin

sophable Thu 17-Jul-08 23:10:59

tigermoth. a thought. the reason your ds isn't invited to parties is because of you.

2point4kids Fri 18-Jul-08 07:54:31

Please please please do update us on how the super soakers go down at the party grin

tigermoth Fri 18-Jul-08 13:22:00

No update as yet, but I am have just dropped in at home in my lunchhour to put supersoakers in the car boot. Unless the weather turns warmer don't think they will be coming out again today. Ds2 knows this.

It really is me, not some imposter. I think I probably just have a differnet view on this to most of you - to me, getting sprayed with a bit of water on a hot day is not a horrible thing. Actually it's quite a nice, refreshing thing.

From all the times I have watched ds2 play with his supersoakers, he doesn't spray then at random children (often he does not not aims at people at all). If they are used, they are aimed at children who are joining in with him, children who don't mind (might actually want!) to get a bit wet.

And really it seems a lot of fuss to make over the prospect of a few litres of water being spayed here and there, some of which might or might not land on a child, outdoors on a hot day. It's not as if he was spraying battery acid.

I would not of course let my son take super soakers to an indoor party and/or without knowing the host parent and asking their views on this first - you think I am mad grin

FWIW, I am quite contactable at work, so if the host parent is quaking in their shoes at the prospect of ds2 bringing his supersoakers this afternoon, she would only have to phone me - and no call has come through.

FluffyMummy123 Fri 18-Jul-08 13:30:36

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Morloth Fri 18-Jul-08 13:31:56

None of that matters TM, the fact that it isn't a big deal to YOU and that some children MIGHT enjoy it doesn't make it any less rude or inappropriate to hijack someone's party.

Meh, if you don't get it, you don't get it. But you might want to have a serious think about WHY your son is unpopular and perhaps make the connection!

FluffyMummy123 Fri 18-Jul-08 13:32:18

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FluffyMummy123 Fri 18-Jul-08 13:32:41

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pinkblossom Fri 18-Jul-08 13:44:44

Tigermoth - IT IS NOT YOUR PARTY OR YOUR SON'S PARTY. IT IS ANOTHER LITTLE BOYS PARTY. STOP TRYING TO ORGANISE THE BLOODY DAY WITH YOUR DAMN SUPERSOAKERS.

LET THE BOYS MOTHER GET ON AND ARRANGE THE PARTY AS TO HOW SHE WANTS IT TO BE RUN.

Jees, no wonder your kid doesn't get invited to any party.

STOP BEING SO BLOODY CONTROLLING. And teach your son some basic manners. Accept party invitation, turn up (WITHOUT BRINGING YOUR OWN ENTERTAINMENT) and enjoy party that has been provided.

The End.

FluffyMummy123 Fri 18-Jul-08 13:45:34

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marmalady Fri 18-Jul-08 13:45:44

Not seen this thread til now.

Am crying with laughter esp after seeing maidamess post. The volume was up on my computer when I watched the clip and I couldn't turn it down quickly. All windows open.
neighbours probably concerned I am a nutter.

arf.

partaria Fri 18-Jul-08 13:45:59

Ladies, I think she just doesn't get it and isn't reading the situation socialy the way 99.99% of people would read it - simple as that.

pinkblossom Fri 18-Jul-08 13:46:05

I thank you grin

FluffyMummy123 Fri 18-Jul-08 13:46:55

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tigermoth Fri 18-Jul-08 13:51:34

unless the weather turns hot, no supersoakers OK - I will say it again! anyway, I am off now.

pinkblossom Fri 18-Jul-08 13:53:17

BLOODY HELL WOMAN. NO SUPERSOAKERS. HOT, COLD, WINDY, SNOWY.

IT

IS

NOT

YOUR

PARTY.

GOOD. GOD. WOMAN. WEATHER IS COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT.

nappyaddict Fri 18-Jul-08 13:54:05

even if it does get warm (which is highly unlikely) your son should only be allowed to take them if he agrees not to spray them at anyone. it is not fair to let other kids get wet if they don't have anything to change into.

marmalady Fri 18-Jul-08 13:54:36

Hear hear pb.

Was so funny to read this thread all in one go.

i heart mumsnet

partaria Fri 18-Jul-08 13:56:12

me neither, but YES YES YES.

tis not about "you" or your ds, or what YOU think might be "nice" or pleasant on an afternoon at the park. or even about the fact you've given the hostess (remember she's fielding a whole class of young kids in the open air at the end of term...)your phone number. It's for YOU to have said NO to your own ds when the whole issue was first aired. if i was that other mum I'd be somewhere on a spectrum between mightily pissed off and somewhat irritated with you, and your "livewire" ds wouldn't be coming to any more parties held by me.

I suggested earlier - have your own supersoaker party another time !

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Morloth Fri 18-Jul-08 13:57:20

In response to maidamess' vid:

ack!

partaria Fri 18-Jul-08 13:58:45

i give up. you still think it would be OK if the weather turns ?

Just try to alter your perceptions of this for a moment. What will you do next time ds asks to bring the pita toy somewhere ? Just look at the weather before deciding ?

LOL

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Yorkshire I'm wondering if there will ever be any more invites?

pinkblossom Fri 18-Jul-08 14:07:46

No, there will be no more invites. Even if a kid in his class was having a "supersoaker party" grin

pinkblossom Fri 18-Jul-08 14:11:09

Because then he would be bored with supersoakers and would want to take his own bouncy castle to the party.

partaria Fri 18-Jul-08 14:15:04

I am quite astonished at op's complete lack of empathy for the party hostess and for those children who wouldn't like to get wet - actually for ALL the children because after all it hasn't been billed as TM's ds's supersoaker party.

TM there must be some things in life you find irritating, maybe loud drums, reptiles, boisterous dogs, smokers, whatever. All we're asking you to do here is to step outside your own mindset for a moment and think about how you'd feel if something that REALLY irritated you was brought along to a party you were hosting, causing some or all of your guests to feel uncomfortable/pissed off. And the thing could so easily have been left behind.

And pleased don't say you are so chilled that no such thing exists !

Morloth Fri 18-Jul-08 14:15:20

Which of course he will be allowed to take as long as it isn't too windy.

stealthsquiggle Fri 18-Jul-08 14:16:33

Tigermoth you definitely should host a (generic, non-branded) water pistol party over the holidays - if everyone knows what they are getting into, it will indeed be lots of fun - and you will find out how many people think so by how many turn up grin (I would and DS would BTW, but if DS got caught in crossfire at a generic party he would probably burst into tears and/or thump the perpetrator)

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Spidermama Fri 18-Jul-08 14:21:17

What a hilarious thread.

Tigermoth EVERYONE told you not to allow it. EVERYONE. I've never seen a thread like it. You continued to justify it despite the overwhelming opposition on here.

Not good.

You need to think about this. You need to think about other people and what's more you need to make sure your DS thinks about other people and takes their wishes and feelings into consideration.

I'll stick my neck out here and suggest that the term 'livewire' when used in relation to your son could well mean 'pain in the arse'.
The evidence on this thread, your attitude, your intransigence, is utterly damning.

spicemonster Fri 18-Jul-08 14:23:07

Is this really not a wind-up? Truly?

In that case tigermoth, I salute you. Actually I salute either way - because you're either so chilled out you're horizontal and I think that's ace OR you have just done a very amusing thread

Can you post super-soaked pictures please?

TheProvincialLady Fri 18-Jul-08 14:28:21

Am I the only person who thought this was going to be about a toddler who had exceptionally pissy nappies at paties?grin

This was much better, thank you.

onceinalifetime Fri 18-Jul-08 14:36:54

PMSL at pb and taking own bouncy castle. Hopefully the mother running the party knows what she's dealing with and has secdretly switched venues leaving TM and little darling livewire alone to terrorise everyone else.

onceinalifetime Fri 18-Jul-08 14:37:19

'secretly' even.

hatwoman Fri 18-Jul-08 14:49:47

things you should not even ask if it's ok to bring to parties

- nintendo dss
- ipods
- games for 2 people
- any games at all come to think of it, unless you are offering to bring something for everyone that fits the theme/plan set by the host
- super soakers.

easy.

ruddynorah Fri 18-Jul-08 14:52:00

you are clearly socially inept and are not showing your ds the correct way to behave in such circumstances. fgs. 'live wire' means trouble.

wulfstan Fri 18-Jul-08 14:53:05

actually, I think you shouldn't ask to bring any toys to a party that can't be shared by all the children. Like the single handheld bubble blowing machine at a party attended by a bunch of toddlers last weekend (lots of tears and tantrums).

Why bring anything to a party at all? Doesn't it insult the parent organising the party. Don't you think they'll have got the entertainment covered.

I have some grudging respect for the sheer tenacity of the OP, though

Bumdiddley Fri 18-Jul-08 15:08:22

ProvinicialLady - grin

agog for update....

Ripeberry Fri 18-Jul-08 17:00:32

Do they think the super soakers will make them popular? hmm

ProfessorGrammaticus Fri 18-Jul-08 17:16:26

Tigermoth thank God I am not the mother in question. You must be driving her mad and she is probably upset that you are putting her DCs happiness, at his/her (can't remember) own party, at risk.

Give it up, woman. Your son won't be invited again, I can tell you. "Livewire" ie a euphemism you know.

[bated breath waiting for update]

har har at euphemism

TotalChaos Fri 18-Jul-08 17:27:19

welllll - afraid I agree with everyone else on the supersoaker position. And I know this is an AIBU thread, but I'm amazed at the amount of personal criticism levelled towards Tigermoth - who has posted on here for ages and always been lovely and calm and thoughtful.

dinny Fri 18-Jul-08 17:27:36

do you have a dp who took a supersoaker to Hever Castle a month or so ago? Really amusingly soaking every single person around the water maze - thought he was sooooooo funny

bossykate Fri 18-Jul-08 17:33:59

hmm at nasty sneering tone this thread has taken. agree with totalchaos - tm is a very long standing poster who invariably responds thoughtfully and kindly to others.

TheFallenMadonna Fri 18-Jul-08 17:39:22

People get carried away I think.

I mean, daft idea and all that, and I can see where TM's DS2 gets his persistence from wink, but there's some pretty wild extrapolation going on as to TM's and even worse her DS's character.

Blu Fri 18-Jul-08 17:49:14

Agree with TotalChaos...

I have actually met TM, several times, in RL, and have escaped on every occasion bone dry!

( a position I would like to maintain, true, but still!!!)

serenity Fri 18-Jul-08 17:50:38

Can I just echo TotalChaos? This thread is hilarious grin but let's not spoil it by insulting either TM or her DS? It's been a couple of years, but IME both TM and her sons were rather lovely when I met them.

Hope the party went well!

FabioUnblogged Fri 18-Jul-08 17:51:40

I think it's rude to take toys to a party.

lol Blu, but will lol more if Tigermoth comes back on and says 'I'll post about the party once I've stopped dripping onto the laptop'

ThePettyandIllinformedGoat Fri 18-Jul-08 17:54:11

TheProvincialLady: i clicked on this thinking it was some lentil weaver thinking about taking her pissy baby to a party in felted nappy covers.

fwiw (which is v. little) i LOATH children with water pistols.

zog Fri 18-Jul-08 17:55:53

Completely agree with TotalChaos:

shock at taking supersoakers to a party

but

shock at unnecessary insults to TM and her ds2

ThingOne Fri 18-Jul-08 18:03:14

I just want to know how it went!

pointydog Fri 18-Jul-08 18:10:23

Is this a spoof thread? In response to that water pistol one? surely...

itati Fri 18-Jul-08 18:34:18

Came to this via the request to put it in classics. Took ages to read. Not entirely sure it was worth it but interested to know what happened. grin

Doodle2U Fri 18-Jul-08 18:35:09

Oh give over. Tigermoth has been bloody brilliant about this thread and she's shown herself to be an absolute star for not knee jerk reacting to any of the comments.

Actually, she didn't respond to any of the comments full stop - particularly the posts which specifically said "Don't do it" - you may have noticed that one or two said that.

grin

lizinthesticks Fri 18-Jul-08 18:36:40

Probably pissed it down and EVERYONE got soaked.

lizinthesticks Fri 18-Jul-08 18:37:40

Wow - when will this place get a proper quote function.

hunkermunker Fri 18-Jul-08 18:53:36

Agree with Spidermama - and your reaction on this thread has prompted the snidey tone of the latter part of it, imo - MNers do get sarky when their "nay, nay and thrice NAY" gets met with "But... <reams of excuses>"

I've got a constructive idea for you though:

Have own super soaker party for DS2 where the rules are laid out clearly in advance and every child invited has a super soaker.

[resolved]

S1ur Fri 18-Jul-08 19:11:20

I am not sure I have ever seen MN so united.
Clearly you may quibble about sausages and the whole grey area of boden but super soakers? We say NO, step away from the gun. grin

I too am now waiting with great anticipation, what happened Tiger? Did DS have a good time? Was there <whisper> water involved????

nappyaddict Fri 18-Jul-08 19:19:24

actually i think you'll find i said i would let him take it as long as he wasn't going to be getting anyone else wet grin

S1ur Fri 18-Jul-08 19:20:12

Ah the ornamental use of the soaker, gotcha grin

pointydog Fri 18-Jul-08 19:40:11

I haven't the energy to read through this whole thread but it is an uncanny coincidence if tigermoth genuinely started this thread when this one was started at almost exactly the same time.

TheFallenMadonna Fri 18-Jul-08 19:41:53

That one was an hour later pointydog.

maidamess Fri 18-Jul-08 19:42:47

pointy, this is the original thread.

Blu Fri 18-Jul-08 19:42:58

Ahem, Pointy - that thread was started an hour after this one and is clearly a norty thread!

pointydog Fri 18-Jul-08 19:43:53

ahhhhh!

ok.

Of course do not let ds take a feckin super soaker to a party where no one else will have one. What's wrong with you

ProfessorGrammaticus Fri 18-Jul-08 19:50:42

I'm sorry if I was a bit terse. I wouldn't have said that to you in that way in RL and maybe that's a good guide as to what to type on MN. I take the comments on board and I'm sorry if I upset you tigermoth. I do stand by the substance of my post, though.

ThatBigGermanPrison Fri 18-Jul-08 19:58:16

No no no.

If a child even dribbled water at me at a party, then unless it was a water fighting party, the super soaker would be snatched off with a trill of "I don't think that's a very good idea, let's give it to Mummy at home time, shall we?"

pointydog Fri 18-Jul-08 19:59:40

what did yousay, prof, and when?

tigermoth Fri 18-Jul-08 20:18:33

Back from the party, not a bit wet. No super soaker action at all - too cool and overcast.

When I arrived, I made a point of asking host parent if she had organised any games for the children as I could hear wild shouts from the nearby woods. No sign of ds2. Another group of children were kicking a ball around on the grass. The other parents were drinking pimms and looking unconcerned. Host parent said absolutely no organised games, just children running off end of term energy.

Ds2 emerged from the trees with a large stick gun and a collection of outdoor plastic toys tucked into his trousers. He had organised an army game (no surprises there then) to do with military demolition. He was using the toys to construct explosives to attatch to enemy buildings so they could be blown up. Don't know where the toys came from - I think it was one of the birthday girl's presents; lots of the other children were playing with these toys.

DS2 was in a happy group of approx half the guests (boys and girls) For some of the time, birthday girl was amongst them. She happened to be wearing a red bikini she had been given, so would have been very well dressed for any super soaker activity.

Ds2 did ask for the supersoakers at first but I just told him it was too cold and to go back and play his game without them.

While he ran in and out of the woods, I chatted to the other parents, loosely arranged a playdate and chilled out. No problem attitude from any parents, spoke for half an hour or more with host parent, had pimms, came home.

Had the day been blazing hot, I probably would have taken host parent to one side to say I had the supersoakers in the car boot, then up to her to say yes or no. As a lot of the children were already running around with toy stick guns or being chased, it would have been just another element to their playing.

Thanks to those who praised my tenacity (and the positive character references from those who have met me and ds2).

I did take some notice of this thread, you know, as originally I was going give ds2 the super soakers and a letter for the host mother about how it was up to her to permit their use or not. I still can't really see what was so outrageous about that, but I did adapt my plan, so that I kept the super soakers under lock and key in the boot of my car.

I have already had a small super soaker party here at home, and may try for a bigger one. As long as no water bombs aew involved - they make such a mess of the kitchen floor. If you find super soakers irritating I dread to think what you all feel about water bombs.

unfitmother Fri 18-Jul-08 20:23:53

Glad to hear you all had a good time!
(fancy a Pimms now) grin

meglet Fri 18-Jul-08 20:35:12

all's well that ends well smile.

I never want to hear the words super soaker again grin.

Heifer Fri 18-Jul-08 20:37:49

Hallelujah. Common sense has prevailed.

As far as I am concerned, Super Soakers belong in your own garden only. Unless of course than an invite makes a particular reference to them..

I like to think of myself as a down with the kidz, happy go lucky kind of girl, but I would not be happy if some horrible snotty nosed child sprayed me with water at an event... I would get really really cross and tut out loud!

Marina Fri 18-Jul-08 20:43:27

Well, I don't know how I missed this but am glad for you that all's well that ends dry tm - it would have been a brave bunch of kids opting in to supersoaking on this rather bracing day! (We did NOT spend the afternoon at Danson Pk water feature as intended, I believe the pipes froze wink)
Agree with some latter posters that the tone of some of the posts here is incredibly rude hmm
I also know tm in RL and have spent many happy, relaxed and untraumatised hours in her company and that of her two fab dss.
I thought your remark about her ds2 being left out of parties because of her attitude was particularly mean-spirited sophable.

hunkermunker Fri 18-Jul-08 20:51:01

TM, I think you have possibly missed the point of the thread's responses - I don't think anyone - or many people - actually object to super soakers (except Moo was it who saw a person half-blinded by one), so they wouldn't necessarily object to water bombs - it was the whole issue of "time and place" that was the crux or thrust of the whole shebang.

Glad it was good though and cheers [Pimms]

dinny Fri 18-Jul-08 20:53:19

HM - missed you today sad

Blu Fri 18-Jul-08 21:04:14

Ooh, I would happily send / invite DS to a specifically advertised 'water fight' party - the advantage of these things in gardens is that then you have a towel handy, and spare clothes if their enthusiasm outpaces their circulation, and hypothermia threatens.

Of course if my Pimms was contaminated with a slug of water from inside a festering supersoaker, well then I'd be proper peeved wink

Marina Fri 18-Jul-08 21:05:19

I'd send dd, who took out two Yr 4 boys from the roof of the TP den earlier this summer Blu

Blu Fri 18-Jul-08 21:07:31

grin

pointydog Fri 18-Jul-08 21:11:36

"Trouble is, there's NEVER any etiquette when it comes to water pistols. It's each man for himself, the largest gun wins and the fate of teh vanquished is ugly. The tears, teh injustice, the rage, the rat-atiled hair and the wringing clothes." I repseat.

How many water fights have you seen where only one or two kids have super soakers and the rest have nothing or small pistols?

I haven't seen one yet where everyone had fun. And lots have gone on around my way.

posieflump Fri 18-Jul-08 21:19:43

aw, Tigermoth, sorry to see you had such a hard time on this thread
who would have thought supersoakers would conjure up such a debate!
glad you and ds had a nice time smile

everlong Fri 18-Jul-08 21:20:37

Tigermoth,

I have to say I like your attitude.

You have listened and taken heed but stuck to what your thought was right.

pointydog Fri 18-Jul-08 21:54:17

haev you a lot of ecperience of water gun parties where only two people are armed, ever?

batters Fri 18-Jul-08 22:11:30

Glad your ds had a good time, tigermoth .

Amazed at the nasty tone of some of the posts on here, particularly from those posters who have "known" Tigermoth for some time on MN. She has never resorted to personal insults or nasty digs in many years of posting here.

FluffyMummy123 Fri 18-Jul-08 22:22:02

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FluffyMummy123 Fri 18-Jul-08 22:24:05

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posieflump Fri 18-Jul-08 22:24:15

pointydog - you truly are like a dog with a bone! You tal like round your way there are gangs of hoodlums with 'water guns' out to get you on every corner grin

pointydog Fri 18-Jul-08 23:06:59

Dodge City round here.

splish splosh

onceinalifetime Sat 19-Jul-08 02:13:12

Was this a wind-up? The birthday girl wore a red bikini......in this weather? hmm

sushistar Sat 19-Jul-08 02:54:12

What a fabulous thread.

Tigermoth, you're unique. Do you work in a job which requires fiddly accuracy and chasing things up? You should!

All's well that ends well. And I bet BD girl didn't want to get her new bikini wet.

Your ds's games sound very inventive tigermoth...

lizinthesticks Sat 19-Jul-08 07:33:09

"Was this a wind-up? The birthday girl wore a red bikini......in this weather?"

"too cool and overcast."

*hunts for 'perplexed' smiley*

WideWebWitch Sat 19-Jul-08 09:44:23

Hi Tigermoth. I've just read this thread with increasing surprise as I went through it at how vehement people have been about sayng no to the super soakers.

Tbh, if, when my ds had been 8, there had been an end of term thing in a park and he had a water pistol and had asked me if he could take it then I'd have probably said yes, you can, without thinkng much about it. I also think children + water pistols + end of term + putdoor space is fine, actually. It wouldn't have occurred to me that it would be rude or outrageous or anything.

I do think people are sounding a bit precious about the whole 'children getting wet' business on this thread: small children aren't made of paper! I also think if the other mother did mind then she should have said so. If someone had asked me I'd have said 'it's fine' and I would have MEANT IT. None of us is mind readers so when we ask for a view we expect some honesty.

I know I'm the lone voice on this thread but I think it's indicative of how sheltered our children are these days and how uptight and controlling many, many mothers can be that the very idea of a water pistol in a park at the end of term on a summers say is so outrageous <bewildered emoticon>. I know it was a party but it wasn't an indoor party, it was hardly equivalent to saying "can I scribble on your Renoir?" was it? But many of these posts seem to view is at so. But maybe that's childhood these days? Or mumsnet these days? I don't know, I can only express my surprise and bewilderment.

When I was small water pistols were great fun <shrugs>.

I also think all the unpleasant and personal remarks were completely uncalled for. Those of you who made them should be ashamed of yourselves.

Tigermoth has been posting for many, many years (since mumsnet began) and I too have met her several times. As you can see from her calm responses on this thread, she is a reasonable person and she certainly didn't deserve the unpleasant remarks directed at her here.

But hey, it was too cold anyway and all's well that ended well but I really am quite <eyebrows raised> at this thread.

serenity Sat 19-Jul-08 12:04:00

Haven't actually given a view on this (and don't intend to, lol) but just want to say, water pistol to supersoaker is like air gun to AK47 grin

Glad the party went well though.

silvermum Sat 19-Jul-08 12:47:08

another message in support of Tigermoth here. No real views on suitability or otherwise of supersoaker at parties - my DS only 11 months so not quite got to that stage yet! - but don't think there was any cause for mean and judgemental responses, esp not the one equating "live wire" son to "pain in the arse." that's a pretty horrible thing to say to any mother, esp one who is just asking for views on a parenting dilemma.
hugs to you, tigermoth, if you feel hurt by some of the extraordinary responses to your quite reasonable original post.

Janus Sat 19-Jul-08 14:31:47

God, where is everyone's sense of fun?? I would absolutely agree for super soaker and would only emphasis that he must share it if other people want a go. Similarly, if anyone tells him to stop, as you have told him, he must stop. I would have NO problem policing such a thing, if kids get upset (the wet farts) then just stop the water.
I will now run ...

Youcanthaveeverything Sat 19-Jul-08 15:17:52

Water pistols - fun squirting others

Miserable being squited yourself

Unless it's a very hot day which makes it just about bearable and worth tolerating enough for the payoff of squirting others.

Being randomly squirted by the only 2 poeple with water pistols-not fun.

Honestly. Just beacuse people aren't crying when squirted doesn't mean they're not thinking 'i really wish they wouldn't do that' or even 'please just fuck off' whilst maintaining a fixed grin so as not to look like a good sport.

I found your reluctance to say no to your son quite concerning, and the fact that you had to fabricate reasons.

Sometimes just no, should suffice. But in this case there were good reasons that you should have been able to tell him.

It does make me think that there is a link between your reluctance to say no and him being a 'livewire' who rarely gets invited to parties.

Collision Sat 19-Jul-08 15:37:13

Just read this through.

I think WWW that there is a huuuuuge difference between water pistols and ssoakers.

WPs are pretty lame and you do get a bit damp. With a ss you get completely drenched.

I think the main point (and not meaning to offend) was that TM seemed unable to say no to her ds when everyone had strenuously declared no to the ss at someone elses party!

I think if I was at a party having food and drinks and was suddenly drenched from head to foot with water with no way to defend myself then I would be very peed off.

I do not have an aversion to ss's but on this occasion I do agree that ss's were not advisable.

WideWebWitch Sat 19-Jul-08 16:02:36

i cant presume to spk for tm here but from what i know of her she's perfectly capable of saying no, she just wasn't sure whether she should or why. i went and gooogled for a ss image after reading this thread and still don't see the big deal tbh.

Nagapie Sat 19-Jul-08 16:04:03
fallingdown Sat 19-Jul-08 16:11:08

no wonder he's a 'livewire' if you never say no to him hmm

tigermoth Sat 19-Jul-08 16:13:09

My ds2 would be very chuffed that you assume his can aim his supersoaker so accurately at people.

I did say there were limited supplies of water, as the park had no running water facilities at all. Any water used would have been what was in the super soaker already - when it ran out, that would have been that.

WWW, you took the words out of my mouth about people being a bit precious about a bit of water, outdoors on a hot day at the end of term.

I wonder how this thread would have gone if I'd started it in the middle of a heatwave?

As for negative comments - they will only upset me if I choose to let them I made my choice - simple.

BetteNoire Sat 19-Jul-08 16:18:47

TM - I don't think people have a problem with water pistols necessarily.

It was more that it is unfair for one or two children to have them if the others haven't.

And that if the birthday girl wanted super soakers at her party, surely she would have said so?

It is perhaps the assumption that your DS should be able to do something that affects all the other guests, and that would perhaps cause some upset to other children (ie: if they got wet and didn't want to), that riled people?

Anyway, it didn't happen in the end.
So all is well. smile

1973 Sat 19-Jul-08 16:19:18

I [heart] Tigermoth smile

misdee Sat 19-Jul-08 16:25:23

i love a good water fight myself. but it needs to be fair, with everyone being able to have access to water.

am looking forward to when the dd's are a bit older and they get involved in water fights in the street.

lazyemma Sat 19-Jul-08 17:17:21

"I know I'm the lone voice on this thread but I think it's indicative of how sheltered our children are these days and how uptight and controlling many, many mothers can be that the very idea of a water pistol in a park at the end of term on a summers say is so outrageous <bewildered emoticon>. I know it was a party but it wasn't an indoor party, it was hardly equivalent to saying "can I scribble on your Renoir?" was it? But many of these posts seem to view is at so. But maybe that's childhood these days?"

What a crock. One of my earliest memories is of getting a bollocking from the boy next door's mum for soaking him with my water pistol so that she had to change his clothes. That would've been in 1980, so I doubt we're quite on our way to hell in a handbasket just yet.

pointydog Sat 19-Jul-08 18:46:29

agree with those who say it's not water fights that's the issue, it's one person having a gun when all teh others don't. That's not fun. Nothing to do with being precious

Podrick Sat 19-Jul-08 18:55:40

Yes.

Supersoakers for all

or bin 'em

Podrick Sat 19-Jul-08 18:56:10

Actually I thought this thread was about nappies from the title blush

FluffyMummy123 Sat 19-Jul-08 18:57:03

Message withdrawn

Sorry if it's already being said but..

"Remember she has a get out clause - she has my utter permission to ban the super soaker on the day - can do so 2 minutes into the party if she wants to."

You are passing the buck!. If it has to be banned on the day, she gets to be the mean old killjoy, not you. How convenient.

maidamess Sat 19-Jul-08 18:57:56

And all those soaking wet kids rampaging into your kitchen to refill their squirters.

Ahh, hapy days.

WideWebWitch Sat 19-Jul-08 19:05:17

well i think you all need to get a grip about a bit of water <runs>

pointydog Sat 19-Jul-08 19:08:56

tell you what, let's organise a mn supersoaker party but I, and I alone, will be the only mnetter allowed said supersoaker. That'll be Fun.

You love it

pointydog Sat 19-Jul-08 19:15:49
pointydog Sat 19-Jul-08 19:17:19

Here's all you laughing pansies before I confiscate your weapons

tigermoth Sat 19-Jul-08 20:05:02

erm, just for the sake of accuracy, there would have been two supersoakers, not just the one at the party, so someone else would have had one. Also my ds2 has been known to share them around *and not have one himself sometimes* (I know you won't believe me, but honestly, I have seen this happen)

I am a veteran of supersoaker situations as ds2 and other neighbouring children have water fights with water bomb and supersoakes on hot days here on our street. (And mainly it is running around, the squirting of water is very minimal as it's such a hassle to refill)

Most of the time, IMconsiderableE, there are never enough super soakers to go round as random children join in the game half way through. It's a bit like children being attracted to running through a garden sprinkler - those who join in as a rule don't mind getting a bit wet.

Now granted, having a water fight near to your home is different as you can run back in to get changed, but we never have neighbouring children complaining about getting wet - or their parents - or neighbouring parental bans on water fights.

I probably shouldn't tell you this but in for a penny, in for a pound - ds2 has told me today he cadged a crisp off a next door neighbour's girl in return for her employing him to squirt his supersoaker (once)at one of her friends down the road... a contract he will not be fulfilling unless we get some very sunny weather grin

Youcanthaveeverything Sun 20-Jul-08 10:52:32

Hmmm, TM, more and more I get the feeling you are part of your sons difficulties and need to have many more 'appropriate' and 'inappropriate' type conversations with him.

Please listen to the general concensus on here, it displays to you what other mothers may be thinking ,but not able to say to you.

I thought the fact he had his Ssoaker at the summer fair, pretty inappropraiate, and would have myself thought had I been there 'God I wish that child was controlled at bit more, there is a time and a place', but would have still made nice general chit chat with you.I'm sure there were a fair few thinking that.

Think about what others may be thinking, not just what your DS wants to do.

You seemed to go to quite extraordinary lengths to fulfill his fixation with Soakers at this party.(going home to put them in your boot etc).

A firm 'no, I'm unsure whether it's apropropriate or not, so I've decided you are not going to take it' should have sufficed.

You could then discuss why it may be inappropriate, and offer more appropriate time and places eg in gardens on a hot day, with children who have consented to water fight involvementt and have their own weapons.

Really, for your DS's sake, if in doubt about whether his beahviour may be viewed as wild, disruptive or whatever, err on the side of caution.

Don't you want to help him loose his 'livewire' reputation? It will be livewire to your face, but much worse behind your back, believe mesad.

tigermoth Sun 20-Jul-08 12:53:25

It is me who has called him a livewire as a way of describing his active behaviour on this thread? I have given him that label, not the parents.It is not what what people habitually say to my face when talking about ds2 (to me) in real life. They normally call him by his name, but I agree it's generally accepted that he is lively.

FWIW If I call a child a 'livewire', here or in real life, I do not intend it to be a masked criticism. It's simply a statement that they have lots of energy.

Anyway, I'll be seeing a parent from school this evening as she's coming round for a glass of wine, so I might be able to ask a few leading questions.

Youcanthaveeverything Sun 20-Jul-08 12:57:18

Didn't you say he has been described as a livewire? I may have rembered incorrectly, I have not checked.

But does he also not get many playdates and party invites? All seems linked to me.

I may be way off the mark, you know your DS, just the impression I get from admittedly limited information.

But maybe worth considering?

And then dismissinggrin

roisin Sun 20-Jul-08 12:57:51

Tigermoth - as always - I am in awe of you. Your calmness in the face of criticism is remarkable.

We really must meet up sometime!

Rx

PS My boys have just 'run away' aka stormed out of the house. This is a first for us.
But they haven't any money with them, so I don't think they'll be gone very long wink

wulfstan Sun 20-Jul-08 12:58:26

tigermoth: your ds can bring his supersoakers round here any day

Youcanthaveeverything Sun 20-Jul-08 13:27:21

Oh and RL friend will not tell the ablsolute straight truth.

It's just too hard, particuarly about poeles kids.

That's why MN is so vaulable.

Threadwworm Sun 20-Jul-08 13:35:19

Regardless of the rights and wrongs of bringing the supersoaker to that event, just want to say that TM's ds sounds lovely. Sounds like he's got good judgement about how far to go with the SS. (I know that my DS1 would be an utter numpty and Go Too Far.)

BexieID Sun 20-Jul-08 13:35:23

I must remember to get my collection of super soakers from my mums grin. I love a good water fight!

tigermoth Sun 20-Jul-08 22:20:07

Roisin, are your two sons back yet? Hope so

Gosh you sounded very laid back about it, but as you say, they can't go far with no money. And yes, we must meet up!