Extended Mumsnetting

(172 Posts)
BEAUTlFUL Thu 22-May-08 01:48:57

It is the accepted norm for most Mothers to stop Mumsnetting at around the same time, 6-7pm. Many others like to carry on until slightly later, 10 or 11pm.

But, there is a group of Extended Mumsnetters who don't conform to society's normal guidelines for internet usage and go far beyond the recommended 12am shut-off, Mumsnetting up to the time of 3, 4, even 8am.

Whilst most mothers would balk at such extended internet use, claiming their computer was primarily designed for their husband, these Extended Mumsnetters say it carries benefits.

"After 1am, you get the drunks coming back from the pub," says one EM, who admits she has Mumsnetted well past dawn. "They type a bit dodgily, but often you can get them to admit embarrassing stuff without name-changing."

Then there are the Tandem Mumsnetters, who have two screens open simultaneously so they can refresh threads faster.

The World Health Organisation recommends every mother Mumsnets if at all possible, and supports the local Internet Cafes that help new Mumsnetters overcome problems logging on. But there are some groups of people who believe Extended Mumsnetters are weird. "I tried to Mumsnet when I had a baby, but it was so tricky at first," says one vehement opposer. "In the end I gave up and read the Daily Mail. My kids are thriving."

When I had my first MN bout, I only MNed until about 8pm, but with my second I MNed until around 10pm, and now I'm still doing it at almost 2am and am not sure when I'll stop!

I certainly didn't start the evening thinking 'I'm going to MN until 2am', I just did it for a while, and then it was 9pm, and then 11pm and well now it's the next day!!

vlc Thu 22-May-08 01:55:19

grin

am off to bed now. i applaud your extended mumsnetting.

BEAUTlFUL Thu 22-May-08 01:56:03

Daily Mail readers who think they're giving their kids the best start don't realise that Mumsnet is a living medium. Its threads are constantly changing.

vlc Thu 22-May-08 01:59:42

But before I do, let me leave you with this thought...

not every woman has the ability to mumsnet as long as you do. Some have not enough electricity, or horrendous connection problems. Others were pressurised into Daily Mail readership instead by well meaning relatives.

Please be sure not to make them feel guilty with your extended MN smuggery.

nighty night.

And some selfish ones prioritise sleep!!

BEAUTlFUL Thu 22-May-08 02:05:34

I recommend co-surfing. Mumsnetters who co-surf with their laptop are far more responsive to new posts. It's fine as long as you haven't been taking any substances that might affect your ability to spell.

eidsvold Thu 22-May-08 02:07:57

what about those who are on the other side of the world who seemingly are posting about school runs and the usual daytime activities in the wee hours of the morning.

BEAUTlFUL Thu 22-May-08 02:15:32

Contrary to popular opinion, you can still Mumsnet when you return to work, if you have an understanding employer who accepts that every lunchtime you'll need to hunch over your laptop for a few minutes. Of course, you can always (Daily) Express, though it's often seen as more trouble than it's worth.

I wouldn't let any of my colleagues see me Daily Expressing! The shame of it!

D'ya think they'd give me a private room to read it in? What do I do with it once I've read it?

nooka Thu 22-May-08 02:19:32

Not enough late night Mumsnetters IMO! Now I'm across the pond I want to Mumsnet at the same time as I did at home but everyone is asleep shock

I think I might start a MN routine though, because I'm just not getting my housework done!

I'll MN for 15 mins every four hours and no more from now on.

I'm also gonna do sleep training, starting tomorrow night. If MN calls me in the small hours I'm just going to ingore it!!

<< rolls eyes >>> ....

Nah, grin PMSL! grin

RubyRioja Thu 22-May-08 07:45:49

I am all in favour of discreet mumsnetting, but some women positively flaunt it. In public places like libraries and everything. I think this can make women who are unable or who exercise their right not to MN feel guilty.

I think there are clothes which make MN more private.

WilfSell Thu 22-May-08 07:51:32

The thing is though, it's really difficult to talk about the benefits of MNing compared to other MN substitutes (which have proven risks) because everyone gets very upset and flames you.

MrsBadger Thu 22-May-08 08:42:25

Personally I've never found a problem with MNing at work - my employers have been very understanding in not restricting my internet access and appreciate that it's important for my wellbeing while the children are small.

I understand that an MNing routine can help some people but I'm generally a fan of MNing on demand.

FrannyandZooey Thu 22-May-08 08:45:30

hahahahahahahahahahaha
v good indeed

grin

[desperately trying to think of a witty comment to add but you lot are all streets ahead of me...]

WilfSell Thu 22-May-08 08:47:36

I have heard of a woman who was thrown out of Starbucks for MNing though. I think we should start a campaign. I mean, surely that's exactly what cafes are for?! If other people don't like it, they should stop looking over her shoulder: it's not as if they can actually see anything interesting FGS.

Anna8888 Thu 22-May-08 08:50:01

Extended MNing is definitely a minority activity here in France where women are expected to return to work full-time shortly after giving birth.

Personally, I only MN in the privacy of my own home and not when anyone other than my daughter is around.

MrsBadger Thu 22-May-08 08:51:26

Actually the worst thing is trying not to be evangelical about it.

I mean, you meet someone who you get on with and whose views seem to align with your own, and you think 'surely she must MN', but then one day you see the Daily Mail sticking out of her nappy bag and you think 'Oh no!'
But you can't say anything in case she tried MN and hated it, or tried MN but used txtspk, got flamed and is still feeling bad about flouncing.

fryalot Thu 22-May-08 08:59:11

grin

Tatterdemalion Thu 22-May-08 09:06:30

lol very good grin

BiancaCastafiore Thu 22-May-08 09:10:27

grin

i am still mumsnetting and my child is 8blush

i don't tell anyone about it-only my husband and children know.

i do feel guilty but it works for me so......

MarsLady Thu 22-May-08 09:11:24

I personally never listen to those who say that it is impossible to MN with twin screens. I find that they are completely uninformed and have no real knowledge about a parent's ability to MN. In my personal experience having already MNed singly, twin MNing is actually rather easy.

WilfSell Thu 22-May-08 09:11:47

rofl MMJ

I've found MNing really easy from day one. The computer just seemed to know what to do.
I never had any of the problems logging on that some people seem to experience. It just came naturally.

WilfSell Thu 22-May-08 09:14:29

I'm always amazed by those who say they don't need any additional equipment to MN. I've spent loads! I simply can't do it without a cup of tea, packet of chocolate biscuits, muslin square (for those quick cover up moments), tray to put everything on (for those mobile MN in the garden moments), not forgetting portable phone.

Enraha Thu 22-May-08 09:15:46

Each to her own I say. My HV said the odd sudoku, crossword or irate letter wouldn't do any harm. I think after a certain point, MNing is all about the mum tbh

Psychomum5 Thu 22-May-08 09:16:47

you lot are funny.....

grin

hairtwiddler Thu 22-May-08 09:17:29

I'm very proud to say I've been exclusively mumsnetting for 18m now. I know some people mix mn with other parenting sites, and it works well for them, but I really couldn't be doing with the hassle.

Once my DC were a few months old I found it convenient to MN and read the Daily Mail, especially once I returned to work part time.

berolina Thu 22-May-08 09:19:01

Surely the problems start with the lack of support in hospital? Internet access patchy at best, but the DM freely available at the kiosk for all to buy.

And then when MIl comes round when you're home bringing a DM and when she sees the computer says 'you don't want to be doing that, that's for dh, surely'.

Then there's the staring and tuts when you MN openly, with demands to do it 'discreetly', leading to the ridiculous invention of the Puter Hider.

ChicaLovesHerLocalGreengrocer Thu 22-May-08 09:23:46

grin

MrsBadger Thu 22-May-08 09:27:09

actually I had great support for MNing in hospital - admittedly I posted completely unassisted from DH's phone in the delivery room but on the ward there were Patientline terminals by every bed which I found invaluable when getting MNing established.

I know not everyone is as lucky though.

The Puter Hider? I'd never use such a barbaric thing, I say be open about it, and be proud, don't flaunt it in the face of old chaps but FGS! its your right as a woman to be able to!

So I say F* those who don't approve, I say, fling out your Puter Hiders, let the air get to it,<< whispers ... I mean don"t over heating issues worry you?? >> MN proudly, don't hide under blankets! Don't let your rights be oppressed by anyone especially your DH who thinks the equipment was only ever meant for him to play with! He should be supporting you FGS - if he's not Bin the bastard!

BEAUTlFUL Thu 22-May-08 09:53:45

I Daily Expressed in the hospital, because my c-section scar made it uncomfortable to hold a laptop. But I couldn't tell how much information my DS's were getting. Then I went straight onto DM when we got home, because not going to MN every day meant my cookies dried up.

When will the guilt go? What if I have a daughter one day and she needs help creating a new message?

Oh, and Mrs B, I'm really and angry to read your post, not every one gets such support in hospital, you come across as smug, and patronising! Its simply not that easy. There is no need to rub everyone's nose in it!!! angry

Terminals are few and far between in most hospitals. There is little training, if any in some hospitals on the terminals, timings, how much you give them to be adequate to keep them going. I mean, how can you sit there and make it sound so easy? Its not, not everyone has such experience, especially not in an NHS hospital. I'm quite shocked TBH, I always thought yo were sensitive and aware of the experience of others, but not any more. you know the bit that got me the most? you doing it unassisted in the delivery room!!! I mean, you don't know how lucky you were Have some compassion!











wink

talilac Thu 22-May-08 10:03:03

grin grin

We had Patientline in hospital and tbh I didn't find I needed much help. Someone showed me how to get logged on at the start and then me and the laptop just got on with it. I MNed every couple of hours in those early days.

BEAUTlFUL Thu 22-May-08 10:12:53

Those of you whose Mums did Artificial Reading, do you feel it's made you less intelligent? Or fatter?

MrsBadger Thu 22-May-08 10:15:06

oh I'm sorry susie sad

MNing is such an emotive issue - all those people who want to but don't manage it, or not as much as they'd like, or people who think it's not for people like them and never give it a bash...

as for Mning every few hours in the early days, it felt like I was MNing constantly...

TBH I think the problem is lack of support coupled with priorities. Some people just need to do the housework, or get more sleep!

SOME people, don't read the Daily Mail OR Daily Express OR MN, but instead they catch up at home whilst their DH reads the Daily Mail!!!

If DH's can't read the Daily Mail then the really miss out imo!!

No19 Thu 22-May-08 10:20:15

I think you lot are disgusting.

It never occurred to me to MN after midnight and when I heard of some people doing it (and talking about it on a public forum) I felt really queasy. Has it ever occurred to you that you are doing it for YOUR benefit and NOT for the benefit of the posters whom you claim to be "helping"?

It's needy and selfish. You can wean by first of all perhaps blogging, then getting a column in a national newspaper. This should help you cope with your need to express yourself constantly.

lol

very good

Oh, i see, lyra another smug post. Thanks for that. << rolls eyes>> have you any idea how hard it was for those of us not so lucky as you, who were not shown how to log on? some of us, god forbid, shock had no such help, some of us had to learn how to log on ourselves, with nothing, nada, not so much as a little teeny 2 minute 1-1 teaching/support session. Disgusting IMHO.

I mean, yes I'm all for being left to it, to a degree, of course, its important to learn yourself, to find out a way to work your way through quietly and stress free, but there is a point at which that becomes abandonment isn't there? I mean ,maybe we experienced the 2 extremes, but I for one can tell you it was detrimental to me,from the start.

I feel lucky that I am still able so easily now all this time later. I'm an extended MN and bloody proud of it. the NHS has alot to answer to for so much of this. They need more terminals, more training, more 1-1 sessions, more support and above all compassion to those who just are not able to. They should not feel outcast because they can't or indeed don't choose to when in hospital.

Isn't there a programme coming up on Channel 4 called Extreme MNing? I've heard that there's one woman who MNed for 12 hours straight. Now, I think MNing is great but you've got to know when to stop.

BlueDragonfly Thu 22-May-08 10:29:41

grin

LittleMyDancing Thu 22-May-08 10:32:17

And what about those people whose DHs pressure them into giving up MNing? Some selfish DHs seem to think that the computer is only a sexual thing for surfing porn, rather than an important element of childrearing.

Tsk.

messycow Thu 22-May-08 10:40:20

i laughed very loudly at the op grin love it

esp the tandem mners

nickytwotimes Thu 22-May-08 10:41:11

<This thread is fantastic. Surely a classic?>

I'm thinking of training as a mn counsellor. Anyone know where to start? I've contacted the NMNT but am waiting to hear back.

mrsBadger thank you for your apology, I can't tell you how nice it is to hear tbh. Not enough of it. thank you

AS for the comments from littlemydancing, as I said in my previous post, if your DH is not supporting you 100%, then bin the bastard. Its not his right to oppress you and you needs as a mother and as a woman a thing for sexual pleasure? Fascist Bastard! This is not the 1980's!!! FFS!

Anyway, I feel better for being able to talk about those early days when it was not easy, without feeling such shame. So I'm grateful for this thread.

Well I had a powercut, a virus, a 'fatal' error and despite this I still managed to continue MNing!

Also, - lots of people mistakenly think that MN is not working for them. IMO it is because they haven't spent enough time on it, or worked hard enough at it!!

berolina Thu 22-May-08 10:51:50

What does everyone think about the language we use to discuss MN and DM? It's all very well to say that MNing has 'benefits', whereas the reality is the DM has risks - but, as we can see above, this is a deeply emotive issue for some posters and we need to go about it sensitively.

BEAUTlFUL Thu 22-May-08 10:52:29

I really only went on to the Daily Mail because I wanted to sleep through the night. And it does work. I dream-read one page at 10pm and I'm asleep almost immediately.

BEAUTlFUL Thu 22-May-08 10:55:38

Starlight, my friend had a blocked internet cache - that was nasty. She went on to DM because she thought it'd be easier, and at first it is. But soon you realise there's all the celebrity features to get through, all the skimming-over the posh bits... Much more fiddly, IMO.

Does anyone know how safe it is to leave a copy of the DM out before you have to throw it away?

BEAUTlFUL Thu 22-May-08 10:56:45

Did you know that in prisons, they give prisoner-mothers a copy of the Mail on Sunday and that's meant to last them the whole week??

But not ALL children of DM readers have problems! BTW did you come across that article that said that DM readers were much more likely to have had elective c/sections???

Also, there is no guarantee that reading the DM gets you any more sleep than MNetting!!

berolina Thu 22-May-08 10:58:10

We do have to stress, too, that it is a lot easier to try MN and move to DM if you find it's really not working for you, than to start off on DM and try to go to MN later... Establishing Ning after DM use takes a lot of grit and commitment (and a hard hat).

grin

S1ur Thu 22-May-08 10:58:41

I think it really helps if you are surrounding by friends who also mn. Not only can you discuss thread juxta positions and problems with leaking venacular but also you feel less like a freak.

I have been made to feel like I'm doing soething dirty and I am sometimes ashamed to admit the extent of my mning, I do it all night sometimes blush

It is awful, everyone says you're supposed to be sleeping through the night by now but instead I'm still up, mning!

berolina Thu 22-May-08 10:59:51

Yes beautiful, and with DM there's all the sterilising your mind after reading the poisonous articles. A PITA IMO.

LittleMyDancing Thu 22-May-08 11:02:47

I switched to DM because I wanted to keep my figure - I heard that extended MNing leaves you all flat, droopy and exhausted. grin

welliemum Thu 22-May-08 11:04:32

It's true that Mumsnetting does carry risks, for example of your children being carried off by wolves while you goggle helplessly at a wedding thread, but hey, "Happy Mum, happy baby" is what I always say.

BEAUTlFUL Thu 22-May-08 11:05:57

I've heard that some women let their DHs try a little bit of Mumsnet. [barf]

S1ur Thu 22-May-08 11:09:12

I know this could be controversial but I think that weaning from MN early can have serious consequences.

Intially MNing is full of goodness and vital during those early days, then I think people often go through a difficult phase where it feels like everyone is bitchy and there is a need for something more substantial.

Often people switch to DM then or even to BroadSheets in the hope of satisfying their hunger. Sadly this rarely works and those that stick at MNing through that tough 3-4 months patch are greatly rewarded with in-jokes and recognition.

SNoraWotzThat Thu 22-May-08 11:09:27

To extend MN
Wireless connection, everywhere, so you can login at;

Tescos - all trolleys with little shelves instead of those silly child seats. Make them walk.

School playgrounds should offer free dial up connection in the outdoor playhouses/school playground/bike sheds. Drop them off, stay all day then pick them up.

S1ur Thu 22-May-08 11:10:33

I do think GPs should be made more aware of how to facilitate MNing

MrsBadger Thu 22-May-08 11:12:42

I don't think the DM helps you keep your figure any more than MN, although I accept that eating cake while MNing may have an impact (though no-one says that reading the Mail means you eat less cake)

and things like the 10/10 and 'easy-peasy diet' threads can mean that MNing can help you lose weights

mind you the Mail pics of 'fat' celebs in bikinis might terrify you into submission...

berolina Thu 22-May-08 11:13:15

Spot on, Slur - such a shame that EMNers are so often referred to as 'smug', 'sanctimonious' or even 'cliquey'.

very good.

BEAUTlFUL Thu 22-May-08 11:14:48

Is it true that net-nurses are making a comeback? I know they were popular in the 90s, but would you really want another woman reading your threads for you? It's a bit "The hand that clicks the toolbar".

RubyRioja Thu 22-May-08 11:17:08

A bit of a tangent, but if there are any new MNers, my friend is doing her dissertation on the support that that MN receives in comparison to spending on ad campaings by the DM.

If you have 10 mins to spare please cat me

WilfSell Thu 22-May-08 11:17:37

Slur, I think babyled weaning is probably the only sensible choice. You park them in the bumbo, stick a breadstick in their hand and let them get on with it. They show precious little real interest in the laptop until they're pulling themselves up IMHO so you've got, oh, at least another 3-4 months to yourself.

BEAUTlFUL Thu 22-May-08 14:30:50

Huzzah, just got home to find we've been classicked! Good work, angels - you lot are funny as f*ck. grin

fryalot Thu 22-May-08 14:32:37

well done, BEAUTIFUL.
grin

zippitippitoes Thu 22-May-08 14:35:45

lolol

Tatterdemalion Thu 22-May-08 14:38:35

I had a lot of problems getting a good log on in the early days. Terrible cracked and weeping end of right index finger.

A friend reccomended the local MN support group. It was so intimidating when I first walked in, all these ladies happily mning away. One lady was doing it and drinking a cup of tea and eating a chocolate hob nob simultaneously.

The mn support worker had a good look at my laptop and log on technique. a few wrist adjustments and 'have you tried the AIBU rugby ball technique' and I was away.

I've never looked back.

Can't do it passed midnight though, now that is jut too weird

QueenMeabhOfConnaught Thu 22-May-08 14:41:06

PMSL at this thread - hilarious.

"The hand that clicks the toolbar" - stop it, I should be working!!! grin

love2sleep Thu 22-May-08 15:22:41

It's the levels of ignorance in rl that upsets me most. I have a friend whose HV told her that her screens were just too small to mn sad

LittleMyDancing Thu 22-May-08 15:24:01

Yes, my friend had an inverted laptop screen and had to use a shield, but she managed to MN for a year.

I was so proud.

love2sleep Thu 22-May-08 15:33:32

TBH I'm a bit worried about my screen. It doesn't look quite the same as it used to and I'm worried that DH won't want it back once I'm done with MN blush

Enraha Thu 22-May-08 16:11:06

I wouldn't mind, but I find Night Reading a real PITA and have serious bags under my eyes. I find that occasionally chugging down a nice bigoted DM columnist just before bedtime sends us both off to sleep. Don't flame me blush

Mind you, those TV adverts about winning a time-share for a family of four for life are a disgrace though. They are taunting vulnerable women with promise of an easy life hmm. Why aren't they banned? It makes me so angry

grin

At you lot

Swedes Thu 22-May-08 16:34:04

OMG Getting your Mnet via Patientline whilst still in the hospital sounds brilliant. Is it given intravenously? Are MNHQ working on an ambulent version as the ironing piles up and Tena Lady can only be expected to perform up to a point.

cwtchy Thu 22-May-08 16:34:56

Well I was brought up on DM and I'm fine. In fact I was weaned early; at 6 months I was down to the Mail on Sunday once a week, with only the Daily Star on weekdays! And no health problems whatsoever.

Blandmum Thu 22-May-08 16:41:50

But you are (from your name) obviously from south wales and thus are 'sound' cwtch. Not everyone has your natural resilience

jingleyjen Thu 22-May-08 16:43:55

I thought you were talking about "older Mums" ie those still MN'ing when all the children were grownup.? smile

WilfSell Thu 22-May-08 16:45:56

It's the ones who don't read the threads that are the real mischief makers IMHO, not the DMers. wink jingleyjen

chitchat Thu 22-May-08 17:30:42

this mning sounds amazing can anyone do it? I DMed for 2.. I have seen people MN.. and wished and hoped.. It's my first time... is it possible...

chitchat Thu 22-May-08 17:35:33

I did not read everysingle entry of the thread.OMG have I done it wrong... will it never work for me... But I just wanted to join this Beautiful thing..

ExtraFancy Thu 22-May-08 17:39:22

God you MNers are so bloody smug, you think you're so much better than us DM readers...I tried MNing but there just wasn't enough paranoid right-wing vitriol there, my HV advised me to go onto the DM just once or twice a day to give my laptop a break...she told me to read the YOU supplement as it's closest to MN...

RustyBear Thu 22-May-08 17:47:19

Well, I'm one of those older mums, jngleyjen - I didn't start MNing until my two were 15 & 18 and I found it really easy right from the start. My screen still functions perfectly, despite my age.

I've been told my teenagers will get teased at school if they tell their friends I MN, but I think it's important to set an example, so DD will find it natural to MN right from the start when she becomes a mum.

LOL @ Extra!!! 'Supplementing'

I left the thread for a few hours and come back to read all these threads which make DM sound like the holy grail and MN some antiquated form of self torture. angry

DM is not the best way to go, of course you ought to at least try MN, even if the support or assistance on the terminals when you are in maternity is lacking. You will be fine once you get home, in the comfort of your own home, with time and peace to MN - that is so long as the damage is already done my too much DM when in hospital.

Also so long as your DH is supporting you wholly, bringing you adequate cups of tea, and meals, to keep up your strength so you can physically MN into the night, should that be your need, or your your choice. As long as your DH is not rattling around at home, complaining that there is ever anytime for him to be with you or fiddle with the equipment any more since you started to MN, and that he feels so left out and pushed away. I mean, do think of your DH/DP, it must be so difficult to be suddenly left out in this way, it must hurt a mans ego a little, no longer being the only one with access to the equipment wink

Its ^so difficult to strike a balance that suite al the family, but if I can do it, anyone can!! GOod luck ladies, stand your ground, and we are all here MN with you for support!

chitchat Thu 22-May-08 17:59:25

Thanks susie, I have a supportive DH he knows where the kettle is and can cook a mean omlete... I am set to give it a go. But should I give up my supplements?

what like? Red or Elle or Gracia? Well, I can't tell you what else you should or shouldn't do whilst MN, however, common sense and instincts are there for a reason wink

BouncingTurtle Thu 22-May-08 18:17:02

Hope you girls can help, my friend is about to take delivery of her new laptop, and I asked her if she was planning on MNing. She said she wants to but lacks confidence. Her mum and MIL have great faith in the DM and said that the DM was good enough for them, so it should be good enough for my friend. Her MIL has even organised daily deliveries of the DM!
She is very worried that with DM being so available, especially because of all the adverts for the Mail on Sunday which is looking like a good read, she'll not get the chance to become familiar with MN on her new laptop. Her DH is trying to be supportive, but he doesn't know what all the fuss is about re: MNing, and doesn't really understand why MN has so many benefits above the DM.
How can I help her?

MarsLady Thu 22-May-08 18:18:59

She should get in touch with a MNetting Consultant. I'm sure that there are MN Peer counsellors around but given the extent of pressure on her I would be inclined to bring in the big guns from the get go!

Perhaps a Postnatal MNDoula would be beneficial?

Make sure she has the MN helplines with her when her delivery is due!

Give her the list of benefits obtained by MNing!

Tatterdemalion Thu 22-May-08 18:20:23

lol @ MN doula, and what would one of those look like then Mars?

BouncingTurtle Thu 22-May-08 18:31:01

Thank you so much I shall do that.

Do you have a number for LaTechieLeague?

{grin]

Has anyone ever MNed with triple screens? Is it possible, - after all, - you only have two hands to type with and tbh I think I'd struggle trying it with both hands at the same time!!

fryalot Thu 22-May-08 18:36:53

Has anyone managed to successfully dreamMN?

S1ur Thu 22-May-08 18:40:24

I think they does need to be clearer information out there for peopole who are struggling to MN.

There was a while when my MN was a bit slow and I struggled to get enough, but I found opening two tabs and switching frequently between them soon allowed for the threads to build up and chat to be more free-flowing.

flamingtoaster Thu 22-May-08 18:51:20

I agree information needs to be more readily available. I was given very bad advice and did briefly flirt with DM while continuing to MN as well (hangs head) when really I now know that all I needed to do was a MN moon.

Swedes Thu 22-May-08 20:59:12

Has anyone mentioned topping up?

Swedes Thu 22-May-08 21:02:53

What did you all use for toughening up your Mnet fingers. I had no idea it would hurt so much. MNHQ said walk around all day with your gloves off and let the air get to your fingers. hmm Fine for them to say but I've got a teenager in the house. What do I do if my 16 year old brings a friend home and I'm strutting around the house without my gloves on?

WilfSell Thu 22-May-08 21:05:33

Swedes, you don't need to toughen up! If you're getting the angle right, it shouldn't hurt at all.

I just wanted to add re my last post, that i'm not endorsing any particular supplements to be used in addition to MN. I was just simply suggesting a few different ones. There are many out there, it is up to personal choice which you use.

<<phew... didn't want to be accused of advertising emoticon >>

FluffyMummy123 Thu 22-May-08 21:36:40

Message withdrawn

FluffyMummy123 Thu 22-May-08 21:37:16

Message withdrawn

Boco Thu 22-May-08 21:42:52

A couple of times I tried EMNing and stayed on it past midnight, but to be honest I didn't feel comfortable. Mostly it was people sharing pictures of scantily clad men and typing things like 'phwoooaarr chekc tihs out laydees!'

I felt dirty. I talked to my dp about it the next day and I decided to just do what feels right and I realised it's OK to admit that I can only handle the pre-midnight chat.

Maybe one day I'll try again but I have to build up my tolerance to alcohol first.

WilfSell Thu 22-May-08 21:44:01

Boco, i agree, a glass of wine really helps one letdown and get a good flow

WilfSell Thu 22-May-08 21:44:20

<you knock em over and I'll tap em in>

Bloody hell Cod, that is Hard core MNtting! I'm allowing the air to get to it tonight, out in the garden. It's ok, there is no-one here to see me in the way. I can't be offending anyone. Being bitten to buggery though. I need some kind of ointment or creams for this kind of extreme MNting. Any advice greatly appreciated...

in this way... ( the rawest, most natural way to MN IMHO. ) wink

S1ur Thu 22-May-08 22:02:34

Yes Cod. It would be wrong for people to call you a fraek.

wink

Boco, it is your right to MN for as long as your are comfortable that needs defending. I certainly don't think there should be laws against it. I hear in Scotland there is a law protecting MNing but only until 9pm. I think this just does not go far enough. What kind of message does that send to EMNers????

MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo Thu 22-May-08 22:06:42

Don't you think that you can DM anywhere? I find that there is a limited amount of places where MN'ing is acceptable. Actually I heard in Scotland it's illegal to prevent someone from MN'ing in public places

MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo Thu 22-May-08 22:08:11

I'm glad you've heard that too slur.

puppydavies Thu 22-May-08 22:08:18

i need to ask advice on the best way to stop mumsnetting. does a sudden flounce get the trauma of separation out of the way in one go, or is a gradual "dont post, don't read" policy better? my main worry is that i've come to rely on mumsnetting to sleep - do you think singing and rocking gently would have the same effect?

MrsBadger Thu 22-May-08 22:16:16

Actually you'd be surprised in how many places you get frowned on for reading the Mail bu tpositively cooed over if anyone spots you mning

but then I do live in a rather lentilly liberal university town...

DisplacementActivity Thu 22-May-08 22:21:53

Message withdrawn

Boco Thu 22-May-08 22:24:50

No puppy, sudden flounces can be traumatic and are rarely successful, often only lasting hours or sometimes minutes.

It's much better to do it gradually. Cut down one hour at a time, maybe skip a morning session or an afternoon session or just cut out your drunken sessions. Gradually you'll start to adapt to real life interaction, you'll recognise things like faces and voices and gradually be able to use limbs and leave home.

Rocking and singing are a marvellous substitute - at bedtime and also when out and about but feeling the pull of an internet cafe. Distraction is key, try and find something to amuse yourself like a fun snack or activity, sing and rock until the feeling passes.

MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo Thu 22-May-08 22:32:50

Puppy - I'm no expert but I'm sure someone like MikMok will be along soon. She knows everything about anything to do with MNing.

Also, have you tried the site MNellyMom - that's also a very good place to find out about all aspects and overcoming difficulties with MN'ing.

MrsCarrot Thu 22-May-08 22:32:50

I think extended mnetting is disgusting personally, there's no need for it and it's all about the mothers.

MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo Thu 22-May-08 22:35:51

I think you're narrow-minded. If it's not hurting anyone, why are you getting so upset?

MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo Thu 22-May-08 22:38:14

Has anyone tried doing a mixture of DM and MN? Is it possible to build up MN'ing again after DM'ing for a while? Is there any best practise ideas out there?

mrscarrot shock I am surprised at your post and your attitude! << disappointed >>

Janni Thu 22-May-08 22:47:53

I was MNing on demand for the first year but needed to get on with my own life so have gradually cut down to just a bedtime read.

onebatmother Thu 22-May-08 22:50:23

Well. Really, if you all insist on relying on your husbands to support you financially while you MN, what do you expect? I'm astonished that so many of you think that it's okay to sit around at home MN-ing, when you could easily be running a plc at the same time.. It's okay for those with a very low IQ, but you need to get out to work immediately if you want to be able to MN with self-esteem. For god's sake, anyone would think that the i-phone had never been invented.

Califrau Thu 22-May-08 22:57:47

I have a bit of a MN dilemma. How does everyone else feel about MNing in front of their FIL? I have always maintained that I would be happy to MN ANYWHERE and that it was my RIGHT so to do but I shall be staying with my Retired Brigadier FIL soon and I have a nasty feeling he will make me feel very uncomfortable about MNing - especially as I am MNing on demand.

ExtraFancy Thu 22-May-08 23:26:02

Well Cali, you have to remember that he is from a generation where DM is very much the norm, and he's probably never seen anyone MN before - he'll probably be a bit uncomfortable but that's his problem, not yours! Can you get your DH to maybe mention the benefits of MNing to him?

VVVQVsSockPuppet Thu 22-May-08 23:29:36

Anyone who MN's beyond 2 years is just plain weird

Boco Thu 22-May-08 23:29:40

My mil and fil pretend to be alright with it, but sometimes I catch fil watching and it makes me uncomfortable. I know they wish I'd dm instead.

Janni Thu 22-May-08 23:33:38

I had similar worries about my FIL, particularly as MIL had never even tried to MN.

He really surprised me by saying that MNing was 'only natural' and 'the best start in life'

You might find that FIL will take the opportunity to excuse himself when you prepare to MN (fetching tea & cake, getting cushions etc)

Hey, get him to take the DC too so you can truly relax.

VVVQVsSockPuppet Thu 22-May-08 23:42:10

My IL's advised switching to Netmums after 4 months because it never did their kids any harm.

Swedes Thu 22-May-08 23:46:49

Does the DM still contain immunofortis? If yes, it's probably worth catching the headlines in case there's something in it that you can't get on Mumsnet. Someone told me that the PC screen doubles as a lightbox an protects against SAD. I didn't catch postnatal depression and in all honestly, I think it's down to Mnetting on demand and topping up with immunofortis from the DM.

VVVQVsSockPuppet Thu 22-May-08 23:48:08

No no no Swedes. That only counts for those who have DM in third world countries.

Besides, the DM is actually full of Boswollox.

Swedes Fri 23-May-08 00:06:51

OK then all you clever Mnetters. Is it true you can't get pregnant whilst Mumsnetting?

<hah>

S1ur Fri 23-May-08 00:12:51

I wouldn't rely on it tbh. There have been cases of cyberconception I suggest protection. I think it particularly depends on what threads you use actually. If you are reading through the night, and frequenting late night hubba hubba threads then I would definitely suggest caution.

Janni Fri 23-May-08 00:16:39

I'd say extended MNing is a pretty reliable contraceptive, actually.

Califrau Fri 23-May-08 00:17:16

I am afraid that is a myth. Many Many on here have had surprise 3rd, 4th or even 5th children because they fell for that old chestnut. MNing is not a reliable form of contraceptive. I actually think it sould say

"Mumsnet...not a reliable source of contraception"

on the bar at the top.

Saturn74 Fri 23-May-08 00:18:37

You're so right, Cali.
Sometimes I get so involved in MN that literally anything could be going on behind me, and I simply wouldn't realise.

Swedes Fri 23-May-08 00:28:51

No wonder MNHQ were so keen to introduce a larger families topic. And I think I have just understood the significance of the knicker checkers anonymous - they are checking to see if their husbands are in there!

MarsLady Fri 23-May-08 02:01:50

Displacement... those should be used with caution and certainly not for more than 48 hours. Why not see if you can do without them and maybe only wear them at night. I do think it's irresponsible for people to recommend those shields willy nilly. As has already been said... simply change the angle then your fingers won't blister and crack. You shouldn't have any pain if you've gotten the position and angle right.

thewiltedrose Fri 23-May-08 02:13:57

Tandem Mumsnetting.... So there is a name for these 10 tabs slowing my compputer down! hmm

But alas an overdose of MN last night at the early hours in the morning has left me unable to continue further tonight so it is with great shame i am going to retreat to my boidour.....

((Translation: I only had 2 hours sleep last night coz of MN and im bloody knackered so im off to bed now))

theAfkaUrbanDryad Fri 23-May-08 05:18:38

Did you know that there was a motion in the English Parliament to pass a law similar to the one in Scotland, which protects the rights of the MNing mother? It was never passed though sad

I organised a MNing picnic last year to try and raise awareness, but sadly we were largely ignored by those in power.

It's so easy for people to say "Why don't you take a copy of the Daily Express out with you, then you wouldn't have to MN in public?" but not everyone can use the Daily Express - and things are rarely that simple anyway.

Chococat Fri 23-May-08 06:14:50

And then you get all those people who are adamant that there is no intellectual benefit of mumsnetting after a certain time (certainly that you couldn't get from elsewhere) and that it's just done for comfort (and this is wrong because you should be able to be comforted in other ways). sigh

Yes I can also watch telly, check emails etc and sometimes I do, but mumsnetting gives a great sense of being connected and that should never be undermined...

sakurarose39 Fri 23-May-08 06:45:35

I think the reason some women have difficulty MNing is that no-one MNed when they were children, and they are just not used to seeing it done. We need to have more positive role-models, so the next generation of mothers don't feel such freaks for "logging on".
In more technologically advanced societies, things are much more natural (there was a documentary on TV recently), and children have grown up with grandmothers, aunts, and older sisters all MNing, all with their computers on public display, so its just the norm...no need for artificial Sunday suppliments. grin

onebatroll Fri 23-May-08 09:35:28

you wimon shuld be very careful - your cmputers are their to keep your husband's faithfull and not straying away its not natural to use them for m**** its disgusting you will all be sory when you are a berden on the state i bet.

WilfSell Fri 23-May-08 10:09:51

onebat grin
humphrey grin

<two mouthfuls of tea snorted in two minutes: an EMN record I'd like to think>

onebattleaxeDMreader Fri 23-May-08 10:35:46

I don't make a habit of agreeing with trolls especially coarse ones, and I fully expect to get flamed for going against the typical MN liberal grain (MN worse than the BBC imho)but I have to put my head above the parapet and concur heartily with obt.

If you insist on MN-ing beyond the natural cut-off point, don't be surprised when your menfolk look elsewhere. They are men after all and have natural urges.

I predict there will be plenty of threads soon along the lines of 'Friend saw DH at internet cafe - now what?' or 'DH's Wifi habit - what would you do?' or 'Caught DH fiddling with his laptop AGAIN."

You will get no sympathy from me I'm afraid.

So what's the wierdest place anyone has every MNed?

urgh
it's not normal
i stop at 6pm
haven't you lot heard of MNBITTY?

BouncingTurtle Fri 23-May-08 17:43:35

I Mned in the First Class carriage of a train going to London, these businessmen were very busy no looking away, but I also got the odd tutt.
Well what the f* was I supposed to do?? It was either than or play Superbomberman on the DS and I hadn't brought my headphones! I do try to be discreet but then I accidentally click on an AIBU thread and I accidentally spit my coffee out laughing...

WilfSell Fri 23-May-08 17:44:18

SPB, you're fibbing. I've caught you with your mouse out on here well after that. ARe you one of those MNers who tells people you've stopped but you carry on in private? It's OK to own up here, people will support you whatever your choices.

WilfSelf blush
But I stand by my MNBitty comment - it applies to anyone who's on later than me.
For anyone worried about MNIP, I'd like to reassure you that I have MNIP loads of times and have never had anything but nice comments/glances. In fact loads of elderly ladies tell me how they MNed when their DCs were younger and how lovely it is to see.

When your DCs can ask you to MN, they're too old IMO

How do you MN comfortably once your LO is teething/has teeth - I am definitely finding it less easy but the DM doen't hold much interest for me.

I'd say use the DM to your advantage at the teething stage, its is great for actually chewing on. wink That way when you MN it won't cause any discomfort to the teething LO, as they have been more than satisfied on chewing the DM wink

just a little tip there for you, from a tried and tested method... HTH?

If they try to bite the laptop say NO firmly and sit them on the floor on the DM.

Thanks for the advice! Laptop is not getting chewed as such, just scratched during reading!

WilfSell Sat 24-May-08 11:41:14

I'm finding, now he is developing his pincer grip, quite a lot of pinching too: is the DM good for that too?

Janni Sat 24-May-08 19:19:19

Ripping the DM into tiny shreds will provide hours of fun for your LO and a deep and mellow feeling of satisfaction for you as you MN peacefully.

lackaDAISYcal Sat 24-May-08 19:46:53

Now that DD is cruising, I'm finding it really hard to keep MNing. I'd like to continue for a while, and possibly even go on to be a tandem (I' 16 weels pregnant) and ultimately an EMNer, but she keeps grabbing at and tweaking the keys and losing my lengthy posts or going back one or even two screens. she's also a biter and causes me endless problems with inappropriate use of CAPITALS sad sad

What can I do to stop her; it's seriously interfering with my EMN plans sad, and is this the end of my MNing? Should I just accept that she is self weaning and speak to the newsagent about a subscription to DM?

my DS loves pressing the back button!

princessglitter Wed 28-May-08 08:35:05

Everyone can MN. There's no excuse not to. It tends to be people from the North and the working class who don't MN. I returned to work when each of my children were two weeks old and read the Daily Express or had the nanny bring the laptop in for me.

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