Great works of literature ruined by a single sentence

(380 Posts)
Blandmum Sun 16-Sep-07 15:59:04

Idea stolen from the Time ed website

'Hey Godot, you're early!'

OrangeFireandGoldashes Sat 22-Sep-12 16:39:39

"Lily, I know we talked about making Peter our Secret-Keeper to put Voldemort off the scent, but I really don't trust him so I'm going to ask Dumbledore after all, okay?"

NicholasTeakozy Sat 04-Aug-12 17:23:32

"Fuck this for a lark, I'm going to join a gym"

The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner.

itsatrap Fri 03-Aug-12 18:59:11

Apologies if repeat...

A mouse took a stroll in the deep dark wood, an owl ate the mouse, and the mouse was good....

JeezyPeeps Sat 28-Jul-12 08:48:23

'your wife? You know that mad beggar woman? Yeah, that's her.'

Mrs Lovett to Sweeney Todd

flippinada Thu 26-Jul-12 22:30:23

Silence of the Lambs:
Actually Clarice, I've been thinking about this a lot. I'm turning vegan. Please don't mention meat in my presence ever again, or I'll get really, really upset.

LadyDamerel Thu 26-Jul-12 22:20:23

Mrs Lambchop: "I think we should move that pin-board from above Stanley's bed, it looks a bit precarious."

Flat Stanley

flippinada Thu 26-Jul-12 21:35:01

I think this brilliant thread should be resurrected. In that vein, here's my contribution.

Henning Mankell writes:
After some reflection, Kurt decided he'd prefer something less stressful, like a desk job in the Swedish civil service.

Shakespeare:
Lady Macbeth: when you durst do it, then you were a man!

Macbeth: right, that's it. I've had it up to here with you issuing orders and expecting me to jump to it. Actually, you know what you are? Controlling. And another thing....

The Go-Between:
The past is a different country. That's why I won't be going there, as I don't like foreigners.

Adrian Mole aged 13 and 3/4
Dear diary....actually, I can't be arsed.

Malkuth Sat 14-Mar-09 10:32:53

Bumping this cos I was just looking at my watched threads and it was really funny and should go into classics!

whitestripes Mon 09-Mar-09 18:07:55

Gone with the wind-

Rhett Butler to Scarlett

"Frankly my dear I do give a damn,lets get back together again"

loupiots Mon 09-Mar-09 17:37:01

"Heathcliff? Is that you? What are you doing skulking around ? It’s very rude to eavesdrop."

Cathy
Wuthering Heights

'My wife would NEVER have an affair! Go away you nasty troublemaker!'

Othello

When Mr Dashwood died it was after many years of careful financial planning and so his wife and daughters found they were perfectly well off.

Sense and Sensibility

Miggsie Sat 21-Feb-09 18:23:41

"Africa? You must be joking!"...Heart of Darkness

"I don't like those pigs, I'll sit on them"...Boxer, Animal Farm

Mr Pickwick decided to go on the Hip and Thigh diet...

"I've won a horse! I can sell him and buy make-up!"...National Velvet

"I'm more of a cat person"...Lassie come home

BitOfFun Sat 21-Feb-09 17:47:06

It is a truth universally acknowleged that a single man in posession of a fortune loves cocaine and hookers.

BitOfFun Sat 21-Feb-09 17:42:40

Eee lad, them kestrels give you bird flu, let's get thee a goldfish...

BitOfFun Sat 21-Feb-09 17:41:52

Eee lad, them kestrels give you bird flu, let's get thee a goldfish...

Hassled Sat 21-Feb-09 17:29:38

"I decided after all that I didn't like the sound of this Gatsby fellow and that I wouldn't rent that house on Long Island Sound"

The Great Gatsby.

No, Tom, said Mrs Brown, for the last time we cannot afford to send you to boarding school.

Monkeygi Sat 21-Feb-09 17:27:02

'Not drowning but waving.'

BalloonSlayer Sat 21-Feb-09 17:18:02

"Ashley is going to marry Melanie..." mused Scarlett, "this means that usless twat can bore Melanie's tits off about literature for the next sixty years while I get rogered senseless by a rich guy with a black mustache. Great balls of fire!"

LightShinesInTheDarkness Sat 21-Feb-09 14:18:20

'Oh well', said Maria 'at least leprosy is not catching'

(Victoria Hislop's 'The Island')

Leander-'Hero,I don't think I'll go for a dip tonight.That water looks a bit choppy.

LightShinesInTheDarkness Fri 20-Feb-09 21:19:08

'Nurse - I think I have a touch of conjunctivitis. My eye won't open'

(The Diving Bell & The Butterfly)

Twims Fri 20-Feb-09 18:19:22

Any more grin

FunnyLittleFrog Fri 03-Oct-08 14:00:21

'Squire Trelawny, Dr Liversey and the rest of these gentlemen asked me to write down the whole particulars about Treasure Island. I told them to f* off.'
Treasure Island

NoblesseOblige Fri 03-Oct-08 13:36:48

James James Morrison Morrison Weatherby George Dupree

Took great care of his mother,

Though he was only 3,

James James said to his mother

"mother" he said, said he,

"you must never go down to the end of the town if you don't go down with me."

James James Morrison's mother put on a golden gown,

James James Morrison's mother drove to the end of the town...and left James at nursery from 8- till 5.30 grin

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