Great works of literature ruined by a single sentence

(393 Posts)
Blandmum Sun 16-Sep-07 15:59:04

Idea stolen from the Time ed website

'Hey Godot, you're early!'

The Power of One.

Then all of a sudden Peekay began to sob: "They killed Grandpa Chook".

Hoppy scowled, and produced two boxing gloves. "Hey you snivelling little English shit! See these? They're boxing gloves, and now I'm going to knock seven bells out of you!"

borntobequiet Sun 15-Nov-15 10:52:39

Great literature even.

borntobequiet Sun 15-Nov-15 10:40:04

"Winter isn't coming"
(Well it's literature to me.)

IamtheDevilsAvocado Sun 15-Nov-15 10:27:03

Thank you Professor Higgins, after one lesson, I can speak perfect English, like a lady!

My fair lady/ Pygmailion

notyounanbread Sat 14-Nov-15 22:08:09

"Good luck in the hungers games, Prim," said Katniss.

justgoandgetalife Thu 05-Nov-15 17:53:14

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. Then He was so tired that He forgot what He meant to do next and went off for a cup of tea.

Archfarchnad Thu 05-Nov-15 17:41:58

Ooh, this is fun!

"Oh Papa, 'tis me Dorrit, I have just been to the Citiziens' Advice Bureau and we've consolidated all your debts and set up an affordable repayment plan. Thank goodness you won't need to go to that debtors' prison!"

Little Dorrit /Dickens

"Jarndyce and Jarndyce might have dragged on for years, but fortunately it was resolved in a matter of days thanks to a new fast-track legal procedure."

Bleak House / Dickens

"In the 1930s, when I was desperate for a job as a vet, I had an interview with an eccentric character called Siegfried Farnon. Thank goodness I didn't get the job, I hated Yorkshire!"

All Creatures Great and Small /James Herriot

"Dear me, that gamekeeper is coming on to me a bit strong, I think we'll have to sack him"

Lady Chatterly's Lover /DH Lawrence

"CLARE: I'm devastated that my husband Henry has died. What a pity there's no such thing as time travel!"

The Tine Traveller's Wife /Audrey Niffenegger

vladthedisorganised Thu 05-Nov-15 17:07:25

"No, " I cried, "you mean to have me as your Whore, when you have promised Marriage?"
"Good Point," said the Rake, "I suppose it is Time I Settled Down. I shall Inform the Family that you shall Be My Wife before my Brother Gets Any Ideas."

And I have lived in quiet Virtue ever since.
Moll Flanders

SomeKindOfDeliciousBiscuit Tue 03-Nov-15 22:30:35

"Classics? What the hell kind of a job will I get with a Classics degree? They'll all be weirdos, anyway. Engineering, I think."
The Secret History

Robertaquimby Wed 28-Oct-15 13:32:13

Mrs Marlow to Commander Marlow

Thank God for the Pill, can't bear the thought of a big family.

All the Marlow books

Cassandra Mortmain

This family needs financial stability and a bit of common sense. I'm goin to chuck writing and apply for accountancy at uni.

I Capture the Castle

ZoeTurtle Wed 28-Oct-15 13:01:16

"Oh yes, I saw her being bundled off to the luggage compartment" - The Lady Vanishes

"Well, perhaps we'd better just feel for a pulse before we leave..." The Martian

"Maybe we should rule out Phil in the first instance, Rosie. Grab his toothbrush." - The Rosie Project

"Goodness, you mean you've been sold into slavery? Come with me; we'll alert the authorities." - The Chairman, Memoirs of a Geisha

hagsrus0 Sun 18-Oct-15 20:27:56

"George, dear," said Aunt Fanny gently, "Poor Timmy hasn't been feeling well, so he's gone to live on a nice farm. I know the four of will enjoy the new kitten."

CarryOn90 Sat 11-Oct-14 20:48:38

"Look, a rescue helicopter!" cried Piggy. "Just as well we kept your specs." said Simon.

Lord of the flies

OrangeFireandGoldashes Sat 22-Sep-12 16:39:39

"Lily, I know we talked about making Peter our Secret-Keeper to put Voldemort off the scent, but I really don't trust him so I'm going to ask Dumbledore after all, okay?"

NicholasTeakozy Sat 04-Aug-12 17:23:32

"Fuck this for a lark, I'm going to join a gym"

The Loneliness Of The Long Distance Runner.

itsatrap Fri 03-Aug-12 18:59:11

Apologies if repeat...

A mouse took a stroll in the deep dark wood, an owl ate the mouse, and the mouse was good....

JeezyPeeps Sat 28-Jul-12 08:48:23

'your wife? You know that mad beggar woman? Yeah, that's her.'

Mrs Lovett to Sweeney Todd

flippinada Thu 26-Jul-12 22:30:23

Silence of the Lambs:
Actually Clarice, I've been thinking about this a lot. I'm turning vegan. Please don't mention meat in my presence ever again, or I'll get really, really upset.

LadyDamerel Thu 26-Jul-12 22:20:23

Mrs Lambchop: "I think we should move that pin-board from above Stanley's bed, it looks a bit precarious."

Flat Stanley

flippinada Thu 26-Jul-12 21:35:01

I think this brilliant thread should be resurrected. In that vein, here's my contribution.

Henning Mankell writes:
After some reflection, Kurt decided he'd prefer something less stressful, like a desk job in the Swedish civil service.

Lady Macbeth: when you durst do it, then you were a man!

Macbeth: right, that's it. I've had it up to here with you issuing orders and expecting me to jump to it. Actually, you know what you are? Controlling. And another thing....

The Go-Between:
The past is a different country. That's why I won't be going there, as I don't like foreigners.

Adrian Mole aged 13 and 3/4
Dear diary....actually, I can't be arsed.

Malkuth Sat 14-Mar-09 10:32:53

Bumping this cos I was just looking at my watched threads and it was really funny and should go into classics!

whitestripes Mon 09-Mar-09 18:07:55

Gone with the wind-

Rhett Butler to Scarlett

"Frankly my dear I do give a damn,lets get back together again"

loupiots Mon 09-Mar-09 17:37:01

"Heathcliff? Is that you? What are you doing skulking around ? It’s very rude to eavesdrop."

Wuthering Heights

'My wife would NEVER have an affair! Go away you nasty troublemaker!'


When Mr Dashwood died it was after many years of careful financial planning and so his wife and daughters found they were perfectly well off.

Sense and Sensibility

Miggsie Sat 21-Feb-09 18:23:41

"Africa? You must be joking!"...Heart of Darkness

"I don't like those pigs, I'll sit on them"...Boxer, Animal Farm

Mr Pickwick decided to go on the Hip and Thigh diet...

"I've won a horse! I can sell him and buy make-up!"...National Velvet

"I'm more of a cat person"...Lassie come home

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now