Great works of literature ruined by a single sentence

(380 Posts)
Blandmum Sun 16-Sep-07 15:59:04

Idea stolen from the Time ed website

'Hey Godot, you're early!'

EffiePerine Sun 16-Sep-07 16:48:46

Emma looked at the foibles of her neighbours and decided to keep her gob shut

Blandmum Sun 16-Sep-07 16:49:12

Mrs Beeton

'First catch your hare'

No, I think I'd rater have a pizza.

NKF Sun 16-Sep-07 16:50:36

Hamlet.
"I'm really happy for them. And it's time for me to leave home and get a job."

Or

Genesis
"No thanks. I don't like apples."

claricebeansmum Sun 16-Sep-07 16:51:42

Brief Encounter

"Yes do lets forget everyone else and run away together". They elope.

Blandmum Sun 16-Sep-07 16:52:01

Treasure Island

'No thank you Mr Pew, my mother says I'm not to take things from strange me'

Dior Sun 16-Sep-07 16:52:16

Message withdrawn

Twiglett Sun 16-Sep-07 16:53:13

<can't think of any books .. and I mean any books .. its like I've never read a book in my life .. arrrrrrgghhhhhhhh>

Twiglett Sun 16-Sep-07 16:53:46

May I extend to pop culture and crappy kids' programmes

Peppa Pig
"who fancies a bacon sarnie?"

Madame Bovary
Emma : No thanks, I'm very happily married

Blandmum Sun 16-Sep-07 16:54:12

Little Woman

'No, Ma, we are not going to give up our christmas things to the poor family, fuck 'em'

Blandmum Sun 16-Sep-07 16:55:07

Anne of Green Gables

'So they sent us a girl,so I got Matthiew to take her right back'

claricebeansmum Sun 16-Sep-07 16:55:12

Demetrius to Helena (Act II, Scene III) in a wood outside Athens...

"Actually I rather quite like you. Shall we join Hermia and Lysander and elope?"

claricebeansmum Sun 16-Sep-07 16:55:53

Midsummer Nights Dream...sorry!

EffiePerine Sun 16-Sep-07 16:55:59

Book of Esther: I'm not listening to Haman, he's obv a complete tosser

North and South
Margaret Thornton, ooh John , you northern manner and foreboding looks are a big turn on in comparison to the Southern fops I've met before

Macbeth
Well I do fancy being King ... but it's all just a bit too much effort. Think Mrs M and I'll just have a quiet night in.

Twiglett Sun 16-Sep-07 16:56:35

Pollyanna

"oh just fuck off you miserable old fecker"

jaynehater Sun 16-Sep-07 16:56:36

Swallows & Amazons:



"Better drowned than duffers, if not duffers won't drown"


Darlings, Daddy's thrown a wobbler, stay with Nanny while Mummy calls Social Services.

And bugger the Lake District, next year we'll go to Mauritius.

NKF Sun 16-Sep-07 16:56:50

Lear: "I'm not giving you a thing."

Blandmum Sun 16-Sep-07 16:58:03

Catch 22

'Guess what, they are sending me home early!'

claricebeansmum Sun 16-Sep-07 16:58:25

Importance of Being Ernest

"A handbag!
Well don't worry lad - don't let that stand in the way of you getting married"

Twiglett Sun 16-Sep-07 16:59:03

To Kill a Mockingbird

"Oh no, that looks a bit of a tricky case,I don't think I will thanks all the same"

Blandmum Sun 16-Sep-07 16:59:31

Romeo and Juliet

'Yes, marry her, its time we put all this fighting behind us!'

EffiePerine Sun 16-Sep-07 16:59:31

The Secret Garden: Mary gets a Playstation

Sheherazadethegoat Sun 16-Sep-07 16:59:42

lol @ pollyanna

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