Looking for a Governess - may I look here?

(107 Posts)
Sobernow Wed 22-Aug-07 13:30:49

Are you a spinster with no hope of attracting a husband?

Have you sublimated your sexual urges by learning Latin and Embroidery?

Are you in want of £7 a year?

Please apply to the address below and my husband and I may consider you for the post of schoolroom guardian for our twins, Fortnum and Mason. Fortnum is well behaved, but Mason appears to be a little more of a scamp.

Be warned - my husband's night time demands are rigorous and I am of an age where this is most tiresome. You may be called upon to press rather more than the children's clothes.

Twiglett Thu 20-Sep-07 16:28:17

<guffaws at thread>

littlelapin Wed 22-Aug-07 23:16:13

I think you have been doing something *stickY with one of my relatives...

Sobernow Wed 22-Aug-07 23:15:16

Why wash, little lapin?

I'm off, care to join me?

Starsky xx

Sobernow Wed 22-Aug-07 23:13:50

I must go to bed now - thanks everyone

Desiderata Wed 22-Aug-07 23:13:17

ummm, I should get the fuck out of here, LL.

littlelapin Wed 22-Aug-07 23:12:33

Yeuk! <washes fur>

Desiderata Wed 22-Aug-07 23:11:38

And friend .. of course

Desiderata Wed 22-Aug-07 23:10:55

Oi! Leave that rabbit alone!

Sobernow Wed 22-Aug-07 23:00:32

Une Veuve Cliquot? - Vive le Revolution!

Mon mari est disparu, et maintenant je dois me satisfait par mon petit lapin - (cloin, cloin)

Est-ce que vous etes Aliennes? Ami ou enemie?

Desiderata Wed 22-Aug-07 22:58:46

Silly girls! 'Tis only Villette.

SlimNanny Wed 22-Aug-07 22:41:53

DONT TRUST THAT WOMAN SHES SPEEKIN SOME KIND OF RUSSIAN

Hurlyburly Wed 22-Aug-07 22:38:09

Sobernow

Methinks this lady really is forrin. Methinks she aspires to global domination. Methinks you should avoid her too.

Yours aye

MmedeMaintenon Wed 22-Aug-07 22:36:25

Madame,

Je ne suis pas une célibataire - je suis une veuve - mais je ne m'intéresse pas à mariage (à ce-moment-là, vous comprenez). Cependant je m'intéresse beaucoup a l'avancement par politique astucieux et je trouve étant une institutrice très commode pour ceci.

Quant au salaire, pah! Je n'ai aucun besoin de n'importe quoi aussi banal que le salaire. Mais en temps opportun je me compte être Règle Totalitaire Suprême de Votre Planète, et vos enfants sont ma première ètape en cette direction. Votre mari aussi - peut-être - il dépend de ses puissances [coups de coude coups de coude].

Acceptez, Madame, mes compliments plus profonds et plus pas sincères -

Sobernow Wed 22-Aug-07 22:07:23

How quickly you turn on a Sister! Watch your back....

RosaLuxembourg Wed 22-Aug-07 22:06:00

What is the use of trying to go undercover to help the permanent revolution on a little if you bourgeois bitches are up to all our tricks.
As for the sexual urges of left-wing extremists, I have no complaints to make about Mr Liebknecht's urges thank you very much.

Sobernow Wed 22-Aug-07 22:02:24

Well, I thank you for taking the time to press your application, but I fear that you may be on the brink of becoming a co-founder of an international movement which will attempt to undermine the patriarchal system and cause unrest among the existing servants.

For that reason, I decline your offer. I think you underestimate the sexual urges of left wing extremists, too. I know I did.

Desiderata Wed 22-Aug-07 21:59:01

Oh dear. Something about slimnanny exudes a Midlands miasma.

'Tis the 'frit' word.

Any news on Mason? Frankly couldn't give a Gladstone about Fortnum. Such an unruly beast!

RosaLuxembourg Wed 22-Aug-07 21:58:42

Dear Mrs Sobernow
I am a modest, genteel and pretty-behaved female who can promise adequate Latin and excellent needlework. I have also recently become qualified to instruct my pupils in the use of the pianoforte (both the white notes and the much trickier black ones).
I have no knowledge of these sexual urges which you mention but have become attached to a very respectable gentleman called Mr Greystock, although he has recently being paying a worrying amount of attention to his cousin Lizzie, a most designing young woman.
£7 a year will be generous remuneration in return for the charge of your engaging young twins.
Yours sincerely
Lucy Morris

SlimNanny Wed 22-Aug-07 21:48:02

i dont know i carnt read

filthymindedvixen Wed 22-Aug-07 21:47:10

Surely that signifies Most Suitable?

SlimNanny Wed 22-Aug-07 21:46:31

now ive found a muzzle in my bag

its got a tag on it

to my darling son from papapa it says

somewons writ the numbers M S on it what does this mean

filthymindedvixen Wed 22-Aug-07 21:45:05

<<FMV seizes yet another chance to run amok with unloosed stays and without a 'kerchief, waving a candelbra above her head>>>

SlimNanny Wed 22-Aug-07 21:44:40

why is there blood on my cardigan ive just noticed it

it smells like bacon maybe its from a goat

its in a sort of star patton and the points are joind up with a line

i dont know how it got theyre

has anyone herd from mr sobernow i dont no what time im suppost to be thier tomorrer and im frit of the govness

TheDuchessOfNorksBride Wed 22-Aug-07 21:41:26

Then 'tis pity that M.Inferior is abroad for her health.

<the gin-soak harpie>

Bink Wed 22-Aug-07 21:40:05

Werewolves? - no I was only going to demand he admit to being possessed, as you do. But I quite like the werewolves. Ooh, and what about vampires too! Would you be really really impressed with me if I made out your children were all of those things, and then did some dramatic stuff saving them from their fate (though there may be some unintended side effects there)? 'Cause, you know, immersion in nothing but Latin and Embroidery does weird things to one.

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