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To feel slightly put out by DH's lovely surprise?

520 replies

GinIsABreakfastFood · 24/12/2015 07:41

Ok, firstly I want to clarify I did not look for my present on purpose! Xmas Blush

Basically DH and I agreed that we would only do tiny token presents this year so that we can have a mega holiday later on. We agreed a set limit, which I found a huge struggle as I bloody love giving presents and spoiling people, and have spent the past few months trying frantically to pick up lovely, thoughtful little bits and pieces within the £20 limit.

Was feeling quite pleased with myself until.... Was packing to leave for family for Christmas and noticed his smart work coat which he won't need was a bit grubby so thought I'd leave it with the dry cleaners so it's fresh for next year, and found a mega expensive piece of beautiful jewellery hidden in the pocket.

DSis has helpfully pointed out that this happens in Love Actually and it turns out the husband has bought the gift for his mistress.... Hmm

Pretty sure it is for me, thanks, Dsis, and it's lovely, but soooo not what we agreed.

We have got to leave in the next 20 mins to drive to remote Scotland for massive family Christmas so no time to get him anything else to even the balance. Which means that when we open presents in Christmas morning, in front of about 30 people, I will get Tiffany diamond earrings, and he will get socks and a robot bath bomb. AIBU to feel absolutely mortified, a bit cross, and completely love my darling DH for the beautiful surprise, but also a bit want to kill him?!

Should I just buy £500 worth of petrol station tat at at the services on the way there?! Pretend I forgot his main present at home and lie about what it is?!

HELP!!

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FinnDaHuman · 24/12/2015 07:44

I'd wait to see if he gives them to you first....

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prettywhiteguitar · 24/12/2015 07:44

Smile. ? What else can you do

We 'll hold you hand when he doesn't give them to you

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TheBunnyOfDoom · 24/12/2015 07:46

Wait until he gives it to you first.

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GinIsABreakfastFood · 24/12/2015 07:46

DH is driving so am going to frantically Google things I can buy as online vouchers or something.....

Vouchers that I can also use to get myself something nice if it turns out he's bought the fancy gift for someone else! Xmas Confused

Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks. Feeling a little bit sick that I might have been a bad wife this Christmas.

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iwantgin · 24/12/2015 07:47

Accept graciously.

Me and DH aren't doing gifts.

Although I have wrapped him a pair of socks - bought allergy Dss the same brand.

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Gatekeeper · 24/12/2015 07:48

photo them- just incase he denies their presence later

Good luck

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bittapitta · 24/12/2015 07:49

Sounds like it's his turn to spoil you as you love giving big presents? Go with the flow. Don't feel put out, you can explain in front of family why you got him such little presents but you don't have to justify anything, it's your relationship!

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Redcrayons · 24/12/2015 07:49

Definitely £500 worth of petrol station tat.
Who wouldn't love 100 cans of de-icer,screen wash, smelly car tree thingies, giant choc bars?

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bittapitta · 24/12/2015 07:50

Re update - You haven't been a "bad wife" - you both agreed to token gifts. Please don't buy vouchers as well. It defeats the point, you are saving money, it will look sussed. Leave it.

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theycallmemellojello · 24/12/2015 07:51

I really don't think it would occur to anyone that you are a "bad wife". Just accept graciously.

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MsVestibule · 24/12/2015 07:57

If you do feel bad about it (which you really shouldn't), just say loudly 'Oh DH, we said we weren't doing gifts this year!', with a tinkly laugh, if you can manage it.

But who has time to write a long post like this when they're leaving in 20 minutes for a Christmas break? I'd be running around shouting at everybody and giving myself an aneurism.

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GinIsABreakfastFood · 24/12/2015 08:03

Redcrayons - YES, EXACTLY. "DH I love you so much I bought you a different stinky tree car freshener thingy for every day of the year " Xmas Grin

Thanks, bittapitta and mellojello. I just feel a bit Sad that he won't have lovely presents when he's got me something so nice hopefully

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GinIsABreakfastFood · 24/12/2015 08:05

MsVestibule - Type A Personality - was ready 30 mins before we had to go, sat next to the bags with my coat on, waiting for DH to stumble around looking for his keys... Blush

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QOD · 24/12/2015 08:07

Has he gone anywhere near his coat yet?

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Hiddlesnake · 24/12/2015 08:09

Anyone want to club together to get OP a Joni Mitchell CD?

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rainbowstardrops · 24/12/2015 08:12

Wow lucky you! I agree though, just make it clear to everyone that you'd agreed only a token gesture this year.
Still nice though Smile

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Sparrowlegs248 · 24/12/2015 08:12

Update tomorrow please OP! Hope he gives them to you!!

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waitingforgodot · 24/12/2015 08:12

Surely if you put coat in dry cleaners, he will know you know?

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CarlaJones · 24/12/2015 08:14

Did socks and a.bath bomb come to £20?
Love Actually has been on tv a couple of times recently so that's probably why your sister immediately thought of that. I did too and i hope you don't get a CD instead. I'd just go with the £20 as agreed.

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MrsBobDylan · 24/12/2015 08:14

Oh gawd, just enjoy it.Dh and I don't give each other presents at christmas to save money, but last year he asked if I'd like a surprise, I said yes please and asked what he'd like but he didn't want a pressie.

It was absolutely fine and this year we're back to no presents again. You don't have to give to receive. And I've just put in a request for an eternity ring for our wedding anniversary this summer which has been accepted Xmas Grin

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KenDoddsDadsDog · 24/12/2015 08:16

Just enjoy the gift OP !

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itsmeagain1 · 24/12/2015 08:18

I wouldn't bother getting him anything else, he feels you deserve it (hopefully they are for you) and I doubt he would expect a reciprocal gift in terms of cost.

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Sadmother · 24/12/2015 08:18

It's ok. Tiffany jewellery is pretty crap. Maybe you have been a bad wife...

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lifesalongsong · 24/12/2015 08:19

Is he coat still at the cleaners? When was he going to wrap the present. I don't see how this is going to work if he's giving the present to you.

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annandale · 24/12/2015 08:19

Just enjoy it. What a lovely thing he did. He won't care a bit. Particularly if you... erm.. [makes sitcom innuendo which will be frowned on]

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