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To ask for your best examples of brass-neckedness to entertain us all on this dull day?

645 replies

Salmotrutta · 12/08/2014 11:15

I've got one from decades ago.

My older brother was about 18 and going out with a girl of about 16.

It was pretty short lived as she seemed to be a bit spoiled etc. and they were only teens after all.

My brother was the one who ended it but girl seemed to think Mum was behind it.

Mum wasn't but she had asked to girl to help bring in washing during the rain when she stayed over at our house one weekend as mum was in the middle of something when rain started.

This was apparently a criminal act to ask someone for a bit of help so girlfriend moaned to brother (who I think had got rather exasperated by her anyway by this point) and he ended it.

Apparently this did not go down well.

Next thing, her little sister phoned my Mum and castigated her for being the cause of all this! Little sister would have been about 14 and mum would have been about 45!

That didn't go down well either.

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WallyBantersJunkBox · 12/08/2014 11:27

My old boss - about 14 years ago.

My partner was coming back from serving in the Gulf for an extended period.

I was picking him up on a Thursday evening and booked the Friday off a good few weeks in advance. She changed her mind, she wouldn't let me have the Friday off, because she needed the day off herself.

To get Sky TV installed.

She used to call me consistently at weekends to try and get me to come into the office. Once she called my flat and my brother answered the phone and told her I was in the shower. She immediately called my mobile demanding to know why there was a man in my flat at 9am (this was before she knew anything about my partner btw).

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Salmotrutta · 12/08/2014 11:40
Shock
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WorraLiberty · 12/08/2014 11:46

One of my neighbours put me down as an emergency contact number for her DS, without my knowledge. Apparently she thought it was ok because I'm a SAHM.

I ended up collecting and looking after her puking/crapping child for 4 hours, while she made her way back from work.

But not before asking me if I could have him for the whole day, because her boss is sick of her taking time off Hmm

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maudpringles · 12/08/2014 11:53

Collected a table from IKEA for a friend, delivered it, and then her DH asked if we could quickly assemble it as he had sold their old one and he was late for a game of darts!

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Salmotrutta · 12/08/2014 11:53

Blimey!

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mumtobetothree · 12/08/2014 11:53

I gave a friend all of my DS's outgrown clothes, rainforest bouncer etc from birth to about 9 months, as her DS is a few months younger than mine. Fast forwards to them being about 12 months old and her son was bigger was mine, she text and asked if my DS could use a certain size shoe hers had grown out of.

Later on she came round, with the shoes, and when I thanked her she held her hand out and demanded £3 for them! I think I did a pretty good imitation of a fish!

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Trollsworth · 12/08/2014 11:53

This is a silly one.

I was gathering my things in a cafe to go to a doctors appointment, and a middle aged women I'd never met approached my table.

"Stay there while I go and get my food so I don't lose my table"

No hello, no please, no 'would you mind?' ...just an order, as if I was a maid.

I replied with "um, I can't, I'm leaving now...."

And she got cross! And she snapped "well you'll just have to wait, won't you? It's not MY FAULT the queue is so long!"

And she stomped off to join the queue.

Utterly befuddled by this, I stood wracking my brains for a moment, to try and work out WHY she would think I would do what she wanted. Was I dressed like a staff member? Did I look like I could be related to her? No.

So I called, weakly, across the room,

"Er, I'm LEAVING now."

I don't know if she lost her table.

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sashh · 12/08/2014 11:56

Neighbour asked me if I had 'any plans for the evening' I said staying in and watching TV.

This translated in her head as:

'I can leave y 11 year old grandson in the house from 12pm with nothing to eat (because he is only allowed to cook when I'm there) and go out on the piss. When Sashh has got fed up of him coming over because she isn't answering the phone to him and Sashh has tried to feed him but he won't because 'gran is going to cook when she gets home' and Sash realises at 11pm he is not going to be fed, calls me, finds out I am off my head in a town centre pub talking to someone my partner can't see and she drives my grandson to pick me and my partner up I will scream at her in the car, allow my partner to call my grandson a 'grandma's boy' and tell him he will be in big trouble in the morning, I will then think I have lost my bag and scream at sashh to turn the car round on a three lane carriageway with concrete between the opposite directions and when she doesn't I will try to turn the steering wheel'

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WienerDiva · 12/08/2014 11:56

Invited my in-laws over for dinner, I couldn't be arsed to cook so paid for a Chinese. I was "told" to order a few extra dishes because "we all know how much bil can eat". So we did.

In-laws turn up 30 mins late without bil as he suddenly developed gut rot.

When pondering how to organise leftovers, SIL jumps in and says she'll take it as bil can have when they get back.

"Is that a good idea with a gippy stomach?" I dared to ask.

"Oh yeah. He probably said he had a bad stomach so he could have some down time and have a rest."

Well you can fork right off, these leftovers are mine biatch!

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Salmotrutta · 12/08/2014 11:59

Grin Troll!!

Too nice for your own good you are!

Here's another:

Standing in a long queue at garage to pay for petrol

Man nips in grabs something from till area (chewing gum or whatever) and says "You don't mind if I just nip in front?" In our general direction.

We did mind, as did the cashier.

He had to do the walk of shame to the end.

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Salmotrutta · 12/08/2014 12:00

P.s - if he hadn't assumed we'd mind I know someone would have just let him skip ahead.

It was the brass-neckedness you see.

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Salmotrutta · 12/08/2014 12:00

Assumed we'd not mind that is.

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vladthedisorganised · 12/08/2014 12:06

As a student I shared a room with another student.

On our first day she presented me with a list - I was to wake her up at 7:30 in time for breakfast, have her toothbrush ready for her in the bathroom as she 'wasn't good at mornings' and although I didn't have to, having a coffee ready for her after she came out of the shower would be nice. She would obviously shower first as she got 'really grossed out' about using the shower after everyone else (there were 16 of us sharing a shower on our corridor, so not quite sure how she worked that one out)

Once I'd finished laughing I asked how her last slave died. She was most annoyed when I didn't wake her up 'as agreed' the following morning. She was even more annoyed when I told her the going rates for a lady's maid...

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Idontseeanyicegiants · 12/08/2014 12:09

Family wedding years ago on DH's side. I was supervising my eldest, then aged about 3 while he played in the garden when we were gradually joined by the other family children, then all of the other children from the brides side - about 25 in all. After about half an hour I suddenly realised that every other parent was sat inside drinking and chatting (DH was best man so was busy organising various things) while I stood outside freezing my arse off watching all their kids. So I brought DS in for a drink and to warm up and told my BIL and others that someone needed to keep an eye on the kids still outside. (Should add DS was the youngest child there)
Cue outcry of negligence and laziness against me for daring to leave THEIR children outside in an enclosed garden in front of huge windows where their lazy arsed parents could see them perfectly well. They were genuinely angry with me ShockAngry
I refused to go to the next family do and made sure everyone knew why. It didn't happen again...

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RedRoom · 12/08/2014 12:12

Was at a wedding when a woman I'd never met was asked to pose for a photo. I was sitting on a chair next to her. Without speaking to me or looking at me, she pushed her glass of champagne in my hand and her handbag on my lap!

I put both of them straight back down onto the floor.

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Nomama · 12/08/2014 12:14

OK, sit down and I shall tell you a story my mother does not believe actually happened, despite the fact it happened to her.

We got married 25 years ago.

I despise SIL and her parents were just awful, horrible people. Example:
2 weeks before SIL/BIL got married we were at their house, as was the priest who was marrying them. SILs mum introduced my DH as the man her daughter should have been marrying, if only she had got to the right brother first... that is the one and only time I have felt sorry for BIL, who was stood there, gobsmacked.

Anyway, we announced we were getting married and SILs mum asked if they could have an invitation. She said she knew we were only having a small family wedding so didn't expect to come, but would like an invitation, for the scrapbook. I phoned my mum, in front of SIL, her parents, BIL, stbDH, and outlined the request, reassured her that they only wanted an invitation, they would definitely NOT be coming to the wedding.

You've guessed it... mum said they were almost the first to send an RSVP and it included a gushing thank you for thinking of them!

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Lordofmyflies · 12/08/2014 12:17

This happened to my Dd.
They were learning about the post office, how stamps work etc in school. The teacher sent a permission slip home requesting that Dd and some classmates could be walked into town, buy a stamp and post a letter that they had written. It would take about an hour.

My dd came home after this trip - I asked how it went and couldnt really understand her response about watching TV, having lunch out etc, so asked her teacher about it the next day. Turns out, the TA assigned to her group had taken them back to her house for the morning instead of the post office as she was having a new washing machine fitted and installed and Dd and her classmates spent the morning on the TAs lounge floor watching CBB's and eating biscuits!

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StaircaseAtTheUniversity · 12/08/2014 12:18

DHs cousin had her second baby about four months before I had our first. We've met abut three times in six years. When I was about 7 months pregnant she Facebook messaged me to ask if we wanted her Moses basket that her parents had brought as a gift for their second baby, and as we were family she only wanted forty quid for it!!! Shock

We already had one, but even if we hadn't I would have rather paid twice that for a new one. Cheeky cow!!! She later defriended our whole side of the family on Facebook because (I later found out from her brother) "more people from the family commented that your baby was beautiful than commented that hers was when she was first born" Grin Mental case!

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YouTheCat · 12/08/2014 12:22

I don't ever get any of these things happening to me. I think I have a resting face that says 'fuck off' in great big letters with an added look of 'I don't bloody think so'.

I have silenced a 3 year old having an 'I want' tantrum in Marks and Spencers, with just a look and a raised eyebrow. Grin

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BellMcEnd · 12/08/2014 12:22

My ex friend asked me to babysit her 3 year old son that night so she could go out on the lash (v common event). This would involve her dropping him off at my flat and not picking him up until the following (Saturday) lunchtime. I explained that I was on nights so couldn't. She then asked for my new boyfriend's number (now DH) so she could ask him. She'd met him twice and thought it was completely acceptable to ask him to have her toddler overnight. Then, when he said he couldn't as he had an exam on the Saturday morning she got really pissed off HmmShock. One of the many reasons why she's a very ex friend!

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YouTheCat · 12/08/2014 12:24

Lord, I hope she's been sacked then! That takes the biscuit.

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Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 12/08/2014 12:29

youThecat that's hilarious


I once leant a double buggy to a friend and it was most definatly leant.

Asked her for it back 2 years later and she had
Sold it on.

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cleanasawhistle · 12/08/2014 12:34

Years ago I had to leave my then partner due to domestic violence.
I was in a bit of a state but managed to find a flat ,hire a small van and got some help to remove some stuff from the home we shared.
My new place was round the corner from my sisters house.
I asked if maybe she and her OH could meet me there and help me carry some of the heavier stuff up the stairs...she said she was busy but her OH would want paying if he came.I said forget about it because I didn't have any money left.
About a year later I got a new partner,he was a joiner.
I had only been with him a couple of weeks when my sister said bring your new boyfriend round tonight because I want a couple of shelves putting up and said her OH is too tired when he gets in from work so they won't get done.
I told her no and the reason why.
She had the cheek to be moody with me.

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TigerTrumpet · 12/08/2014 12:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Salmotrutta · 12/08/2014 12:41

These are pure gold.

I particularly live Princess Student.

Brilliant Grin

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