Do you dunk your penis?

(1001 Posts)
SaraCrewe Tue 08-Oct-13 09:16:47

I considered name changing for this, but, fuck it.

We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table. A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me.

Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing.

Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post coital glow until morning? Really?

SourSweets Tue 08-Oct-13 09:45:43

Haha Big W!

Mostly we don't do a clean up at all, especially if a condom is used. Just shower in the morning, it's fine!

SupermansBigRedBottleOfSpirits Tue 08-Oct-13 09:45:47

No. This I have not heard of. And a few of my friends are delightfully friendly with the men folk.

I'd run a mile from a bloke who got up and dangled his penis in a tumbler of water after shagging.

We have a box of tissues but don't have an issue with using bathroom together after sex. Can't see the issue if you have just had someone's knob in you why you wouldn't use the bathroom infront of them?

fuzzpig Tue 08-Oct-13 09:46:33

Reminds me of college where a friend of a friend informed me that her boyfriend could reach the bottom of a pint glass when he was "on the flop"

Not enough brain bleach in the world for that image hmm

Good Fairylea is like us. We have tissues and I often pop for a wee but most of the time we're too busy falling asleep for such things. Sheet changing and washing is very regular here so I presume its fine.

Is this beaker identifiable as how do you not get it confused with other beakers in your house when washing it. Has it got a design?

SaraCrewe Tue 08-Oct-13 09:48:36

Haha madcatlady <that's H's Xmas present sorted>

I refuse to believe not one other person cleans up while still in bed. Maybe not a beaker but a bowl? Baby wipes?

It was him warning his mate not to make squash in said sex beaker that outed us IRL. So if he gets stick it's his own fault. I used it as my pee beaker while TTC too, poor, abused beaker.

MummyPig24 Tue 08-Oct-13 09:48:57

Noooo we don't have a penis beaker. We use the bathroom if we need to clean up. Like most people I should imagine.

fuzzpig Tue 08-Oct-13 09:49:10

OP I have to ask, do you have a specific depth of water in the penis beaker? I mean, with displacement, the water would overflow.

Ooh I just realised you could measure the displacement to work out the penis volume.

And then spring out of bed yelling "EUREKA!!!"

ElleBelly Tue 08-Oct-13 09:49:40

I have a trapped nerve in my neck and laughing at you fuckers has just made me yelp. Fill up the penis beaker! Is that dirty talk in your house then? We must be scumbags as apart from a post coital wee neither of us feel the need to start rinsing out any parts of our anatomy, he certainly doesn't violate any tooth mugs.

SaraCrewe Tue 08-Oct-13 09:49:49

It's a big neon green one from poundland, really classy.

fuzzpig Tue 08-Oct-13 09:50:43

Or is it the mass. I forget.

rainbowfeet Tue 08-Oct-13 09:50:45

Nomorecatlady.... The perfect knob dunking vessel!!! grin

Actually spat out my coffee opening that link!

gnushoes Tue 08-Oct-13 09:50:46

Penis beaker, wank mittens (or was it socks?). MN is like a parallel universe some days.

sadsong Tue 08-Oct-13 09:50:48

Well I was having a bad day until I read this thread! Now I'm I hysterics! grin I've never owned a penis beaker or offered one to which ever husband or partner I happened to be with at the time! But I think to liven up my boring non existent sex life I will offer one to dh. It might make all the difference! wink

LauraChant Tue 08-Oct-13 09:51:06

No, I'm sorry, but does no one else find it weird to be discussing penises with the Little Princess?

I just can't do it Sara!

Do you have it all on a tray covered with a small cloth and uncover it in a manner of a priest uncovering the communion wine & wafers? Is there little beads seen on the edge of the cloth to stops rogue breeze uncovering the penis clean up paraphernalia? grin

When I hear beaker I think of a small shallow cup.

If it can be easily dunked in one of those it cant be big grin

Tbh no, I have never been with a dunker. It is unusual but each to their own.

TigerSwallowTail Tue 08-Oct-13 09:51:20

Couldn't he just use baby wipes until the bathroom is free?

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Tue 08-Oct-13 09:51:33

I hope think you are alone on this one.

Also, those who have partners who wash them in the sink - firstly - how tall are these men and secondly ewwwwwwwww.

fuzzpig Tue 08-Oct-13 09:52:04

No we just wipe with a flannel and go for a wee. Anything more would totally ruin the comfortable drifting off into a sex coma grin

YoureBeingADick Tue 08-Oct-13 09:52:12

I use wire brush and dettol wink

NoMoreMadCatLady Tue 08-Oct-13 09:52:15

violate any toothmugs <weep>

ElleBelly Tue 08-Oct-13 09:52:58

Sink silly washers freak me out a bit anyway, not much better than wiping it on the curtains.

Fairylea Tue 08-Oct-13 09:53:12

Does anyone else get the penis beaker when they have a drink at your house?! That would be awkward.

Namechangeslut Tue 08-Oct-13 09:53:41

I've been around the block quite a few times (namechanged so you don't know it's me!!) I spent a few years as a swinger and have seen many different approaches to the postcoital cleanup, we prefer an old sheet shoved under the bed which is washed the next morning, I've seen baby wipes, tissues, underwear, one used the curtains, some didn't bother and <boak> I've seen people who clean each other after with their tongues!!
Your beaker is almost the weirdest!
(God I hope the name change worked!)

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