Well. That went well, didnt it.......

(423 Posts)

So I am looking after my friends 3 year old for the weekend.
I'd just like to point out, before I post the wonderful things that have happened since yesterday, that I do actually have children.
3 in fact.

I point that out because after reading this, you might be forgiven for thinking I have no clue about children what so ever grin

So...she arrives at 5pm. Lovely, lovely girl. Lovely mum who for some reason thinks I am trustworthy, drops her off without a fuss.

Oh dear god.

All is well for a while. We eat dinner, she eats it all up. And dessert. I am cleaning the kitchen, I turn around and she is eating the dogs food out of his bowl.
And then told me the doggies dinner is very tasty grin

We are watching tv later on and I ask my ds1 to keep an eye on her while I make a cup of tea.
I come back, she is in the dogs bed.

She wants to play hide and seek. So she hides.
Can I find her? No.
Can the DCs find her? No.

Im about to call the fucking police because clearly she has disappeared when she pops out from a bush in the garden covered head to foot in mud.

We give her a bath, got her pjs on. I go to make her a hot chocolate. I turn round and find her sitting in a cupboard. Of course, I notice she is in there the very second I shut the cupboard door. On her head.

I put her to bed on the little bed in my room.

I go to bed as well because I know if I am not sitting there looking at her, something will happen.

I wake up, an hour ago. She is asleep in the dogs bed.

She just said to me "I had so much fun auntie tantrums. I are doggies dinner, you lost me, I got very dirty and sleeped in the doggy bed. And you shut me in the cupboard"
She found it all hysterically funny.

She's going to go home and tell her mum all of that isn't she??
Is there any way at all I can put a positive spin on this??

I very doubt my friend is ever going to talk to me again, let alone trust me with her child.

greentea72 Sat 14-Sep-13 08:39:23

I've got a three year old like this and can't find a mug nice helpful friend to take her off my hands for a break. You're not free next weekend are you?

Seriously though it would be much worse if she was homesick and crying for mummy, she must really like you and your family.

EnidClowes Sat 14-Sep-13 08:44:26

What a funny little girl she is! I have an almost 3 year old and we're vegetarian, I agree with above posters - I'd just be (eternally) thankful for the weekend off, none of that will harm her even the dog food (blurgh!) I know it's always worse when it's someone else's and not your own though!
I think she's having the BEST time at yours, hope you're not too shattered at the end of it! grin

Take her to a field with a ball grin

I'm serious, ds is a feral wild beast - I take him out front and we kick a ball about he loves it.

Sparklingbrook Sat 14-Sep-13 08:45:22

Cinema?

Chubfuddler Sat 14-Sep-13 08:45:49

My two year old is like her. Today we are going to

Go to soft play
Stop at aldi on way back
Have lunch
Bake cakes
Eat cake
Watch a DVD
Hopefully by the time we've done that I can start the countdown to bath time

foslady Sat 14-Sep-13 08:46:33

Thank God for this thread - dd's doing 11+ today and this has made me smile so much. Pleaae keep updating so we can remind you how you'll laugh one day about it!!!!!!

Actually, cinema is not a bad idea, they have the Saturday morning kids club at our cinema. So it will be full of small children.

PistachioTruffle Sat 14-Sep-13 08:47:35

grin She sounds a hoot. Can you put coats and wellies on and go for a walk?

Sparklingbrook Sat 14-Sep-13 08:48:10

Yes and it's usually only a couple of pounds Tantrums.

I was thinking of soft play as well

Maybe if we do cinema, then soft play she will be tired?

And will just come home and sit still?

foslady Sat 14-Sep-13 08:50:39

You do know she'll be telling 'besttime ever' and she'll ask to stay everttime you see her grin

GeoHound Sat 14-Sep-13 08:50:42

Loving it!

What about a washing up bowl on the floor and an assortment of plastic things to wash up?

Or wash dolls in the bath (more self contained if you put her in the bath)?

Go outside and find puddles/leaves to stamp in?

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Sat 14-Sep-13 08:51:06

Excellent stuff.

Going on DD's behaviour as a guest at the same age, has she:

Shat in the bath?
Eaten a tube of tomato or garlic puree?
Exposed herself to a visitor?
Sung a favourite song for 90 minutes without cease? First line only of course.
Remarked loudly on your DP's endowment, comparing it unfavourably with her Dad's?

Heh heh heh.

ExitPursuedByADragon Sat 14-Sep-13 08:51:34

Wherever you take her put reins on her.

Keep away from water.

Good luck.

butterflyflyaway Sat 14-Sep-13 08:54:30

grin she sounds adorable

SavoyCabbage Sat 14-Sep-13 08:56:37

She sounds great.

She is obviously into dogs. My dd used to love being a dog so we used to play fetch. For ages. She loved it. She had her own water bowl on the floor too.

HoneyDragon Sat 14-Sep-13 08:56:55

I would LOVE you to look after 3 yo dd grin

Go for nice walk to local shop to choose sweetened to go on cake.

Return

get the 10 yo to sit and do a bit of Cbeebies/Nick Jnr on the pc with her.

Drink tea, prepare lunch

Then make cake.

As you will have a mess already in the kitchen mixing cake make salt dough with her. Let her choose what colours (if you have food colouring) DO NOT LET HER TOUCH THE COLOURING. Once Salt dough is made sit her in the kitchen playing with it whilst you clean the kitchen.

Get snack, get 10 yo to find some sort of Disney film. Place both in front of.

Clean up play dough. Check house for evidence of inept childcare.

Wait for mother.

She has sung "under my umbrella Ella Ella" approx 74 times. How she knows that song is beyond me.

And she wants to wear flip flops.

And she asked dd why her boobies were so big and auntie tantrums are so small.

We are going to the cinema. And then clown town. And then McDonalds.
I may cry.

I have bribed dd with money to come with me grin

HoneyDragon Sat 14-Sep-13 08:57:16

*sweetees

honey I wish I were you.

I really do. Can I drop her at your house?

dementedma Sat 14-Sep-13 09:00:43

Pmsl enjoy the rest of your weekend. My dds are in their 20s so I had forgotten all of this. I would be terrified to take her out anywhere other than the local park and even then would have a rope tied round her middle.

Haha, she's going to nag her mum to let her come and stay again with this level of fun!!

Aww. I would laugh my head off if you told my DC had been doing all those things! And buy you a big bottle of wine grin

Julezboo Sat 14-Sep-13 09:05:17

so funny! my youngest is 2.5 years and pretty boring compared to this!

miffybun73 Sat 14-Sep-13 09:06:55

She sounds totally and completely nuts, at least she's happy though.

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