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Five irritating things about staying with my inlaws(182 Posts)
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Sigh. Am four days into a visit to the PILs and am at the point of maximum irritation. They are lovely people, and I realise I am very lucky not to have married into one of the toxic families I read about on here, but nonetheless every visit results in my inevitable descent into tetchy madness by about this point. So for the purposes of catharsis, here are just some of the minor annoyances which are currently elevating my blood pressure:
1. They live in a three-bedroom house, but due to a moderate-level hoarding tendency, only their bedroom actually contains a usable bed. Me and DH have to sleep on a sofa bed downstairs, which is completely open plan. No privacy, no space to put any stuff, and the hum of the fridge all night. Just this lack of a cave to retreat to when it all gets too much is enough to make me a bit stabby by day two.
2. MIL serves up exactly the same meal every night, just with different meat at varying levels of cremation. She started boiling the veg thirty minutes ago and it isn't done yet. I would offer to cook but the kitchen is a total nightmare due to the aforementioned hoarding.
3. The shower is lukewarm and dribbly.
4. No mirrors, anywhere. Probably for the best as I am in dire need of a proper hot shower.
5. I'm made to feel like some kind of weirdo for wanting a glass of water with my dinner (or indeed at any time - tea is offered at 20 minute intervals from breakfast until bedtime). I have to drink my water from a mug because they appear to have no tumblers, despite their kitchen cupboards being stuffed with every other conceivable object known to man.
Thank fuck we are going home tomorrow. Anyone else want to vent about the small things that make you want to murder your relatives?
Mine are lovely but they have a really close relationship with their children - DH and SIL- and I am just not used to this- my parents were lovely but older and I am an only child and it was just different. PIL live 130 miles from us so if we go we go for a few days.
We sleep in an attic room that has an ensuite with a big shower which is very nice. MIL comes into our room every morning with tea- knocks as she opens the. door. DH sleeps naked (I don't there, ever), and she will sit on the bed and chat to us for 5 mins- even if she comes in and we are asleep and cuddled up. He doesn't mind at all but I find it a bit awkward.
Football is a major topic of conversation- with the whole family, grandmas included). I know next to nothing about it and anyway it isn't football in general, it is Bradford City.
There are set things we have to do when we are there- have tea at one grandma's, both grandmas come to lunch with whole family, go out for a meal with PIL and SIL. Even if we only go for two days.
They all think DH is goldenballs. He is lovely mainly but they just adore him and he loves it all- how funny he is, what a tease, how kind, how loving, how thoughtful, clever, how proud they are. I have to keep our usual sarky banter under control a bit and bite my tongue about the bits they never see.
They ask us all the time about when we are going to have a baby. DH just grins and says we are practising. PIL ask, SIL asks, grandma1 asks, grandma2 asks. Actually, we are thinking about it and he really wants to, it's me who want to wait a bit longer. Grandma1 asked if there is something wrong with us.
Me being a vegetarian is a constant source of puzzlement to them. Do I eat fish? Do I eat chicken? No they are animals. Do I eat things like bacon which 'aren't proper meat'? No. MIL served prawn cocktails last time.
They are lovely though; liberal people, kind, generous, warm hearted and funny and they have made me feel part of the family. When my mum died earlier this year, MIL was amazing.
We have only stayed at my ILs once, just after we got married in 1990! Back then we were in twin beds surrounded by clutter. The clutter is much too bad for visitors these days.
When they come to us they bring their own breakfast cereal (All Bran) as it keeps them regular & they won't try anything else.
I like this. I've only read a bit of the thread but as a previous babycentre-er I like how the op hasn't been browbeaten (by the point I read up to) with something bitchy like 'if you hate them so much then why stay, they'd probably be happy to be shot of such a miserable cow like you', 'I bet your house is perfect', 'sorry, are you the queen?', and definitely 'you said they love our children, isn't that enough? You're such a horrible person' etc.
So! I will add mine- tongue in cheek obvs because they DOOO love our child...
A) they always wear fleeces, I've never seen them out of a fleece.
B) the house is always freezing - refer to A
C) everything is covered in dog hairs- bed, bath, sofas, my child's gob after 2 mins if being there
D) FIL always gets squiffy and repeats the same boring old stories I have heard every time I've seen them which is approximately 1000 times
E) FIL enjoys squiffily holding court and you are not permitted to participate in his -rambley boring stories/views on politics and the government- conversations
F) I get bellowingly accused of drinking all the wine every time we stay. Which may be true given the circumstances (see points A to E)
Ahhh that feels better!
178 replies to this thread, surely MN can add a few more for my entertainment.
Really glad my MIL lives in a tiny pensioners cottage. My SIL is too house proud to actually have guests. We have always stayed in a hotel. But the only one 'in' the village (actually a couple miles down the main road) closed, unsurprisingly. The next nearest is a 45 min drive. I discovered there are holiday lets right in the village, so that's my future plan. Except i bet they are all booked up for Vhristmas already, damnit.
I swear Mrs Doyle was based on my Irish MIL. At home, I tend to skip breakfast, have a small lunch and then a bigger evening meal. However, I make an effort to eat breakfast when staying at MIL's so as not to seem rude. Conversation will go:
MIL: So what would you like Andy?
Me: I'll just have a couple of slices of toast please.
MIL: With a wee sausage and a bit of bacon?
Me: No thanks, just toast is fine thank you.
MIL: Just with the sausage then?
Me: No really, toast is fine, I'm not really one for big breakfasts.
MIL: What about a wee bit of scrambled egg?
Me: No really, I'll just stick to toast.
MIL: A wee tomato?
Me: (counts to ten under breath) No, honestly, I really am fine with toast.
MIL: I could fry you some mushrooms?
5 minutes later...
MIL: More toast Andy?
Me: No really, I'm fine thank you.
MIL: Just one wee slice?
One hour later...
MIL: Cup of tea and a wee slice of cake?
Me: Oh tea would be lovely but no cake thanks, I'm still a bit full.
MIL: How about a wee biscuit?
Me: No really, I'm fine
MIL: A wee bun?
ME: Not right now thank you., maybe in a little bit.
MIL: A crumpet?
And on and on and on.....
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