Ridiculous, embarrassing accidents/injuries..

(254 Posts)

I have just trapped a nipple between two plastic laundry baskets and almost severed it. Unbelievably painful, unbelievably embarrassing to tell anyone about in RL!!

Make me feel better by telling me your humiliating mishaps? Happy to bask in the warmth of other's distress grin

CharityFunDay Fri 30-Aug-13 22:00:15

I went base over apex on a zebra crossing outside the Arnedale Centre in Wandsworth, because I trod on a banana skin. An entire queue of traffic was watching as I sped across the road on one leg, hit the metal pedestrian barrier, bounced off and landed on my arse. I could hear the laughter as I limped away. Then I had to go to A&E because I could barely walk and had to be laughed at by medics when I told them what had happened.

Chibbs Fri 30-Aug-13 22:12:34

I skidded naked through a steam room full of people and hit the wall on the other side. lying on my arse in the middle of the floor - no one knew where to touch to help me up!

Gratuitous Fri 30-Aug-13 22:27:41

I nettled my arse and my anus in front of a lovely and very cool man who usually dated cool types.

mouldyironingboard Fri 30-Aug-13 22:37:19

Many years ago my DF was pretending to be a Dr Who dalek to amuse my DB (aged 3 at the time). Unfortunately he got a sink plunger stuck to the middle of his forehead and had a perfect round purple bruise there for several weeks.

acsec Fri 30-Aug-13 22:57:45

I have sliced my hand with a bread knife tonight, slicing a ciabatta roll in half. DH and DSS laughed as I held my hand above my head to stop the blood.

I don't use applicator tampons anymore, as on more than 1 occasion I have caught a fanjo flap between the 2 tubes as I've been inserting, resulting in a very painful tube/flap/tube scenario!

CointreauVersial Fri 30-Aug-13 23:32:27

Ha, Mouldy, that reminds me of a colleague of mine who came into work one Monday with a round, purple bruise on his forehead and half his hair missing.

Apparently, if you apply a glass of flaming sambuca to your person, it creates a vacuum. And sets fire to your hair if you spill a bit.

GinGuzzler Fri 30-Aug-13 23:54:46

This thread has to go to classics. It has had me doubled up laughing. Please please please let it go to classics!!

cumfy Sat 31-Aug-13 01:05:41

Still waiting for the "ankle story" from last month.wink

I think I have posted previously about the almighty shock I got from a bottle of mustard. Proper sparks!

In Orlando, I went down a slide at a water park with such force, my bathing suit went right up my bum. My bum actually bled from the force of it.

A couple of days ago, at a family party, an uncle who I haven't seen in ages hugged me with such enthusiasm that he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I now have a giant bump on my nose. And have to be a bridesmaid in a couple of weeks. The photos will be lovely!

DaleyBump Sat 31-Aug-13 02:42:39

My dad superglued both his hands to the toilet seat an hour before his wedding grin

Secretswitch Sat 31-Aug-13 03:14:29

I have had a prosthetic leg for most of my life. It is simply a part of me. I do take it off to sleep at night. Last month I needed to use the loo in the middle of the night. I got out of bed and started off for the bathroom at a brisk clip. Sadly, I had forgotten to put my leg on. Not only did I fall to the floor but I wee'd in my pants too..
When I was a school girl, my mum had to ring up my headmistress to let her know I had broken my toe when I dropped my leg on it.

Mogz Sat 31-Aug-13 03:49:29

Haha @ Secretswitch, prosthetics are always good for a funny story.
My mate has a glass eye, he loves to freak people out by removing it and leaving it places. Once at a gig he dropped it into a new friend's almost empty drink, friend didn't notice and took a BIG swig to finish it off, nothing, then he started choking! We had to get one of the bouncers to heimlich him. Glass eye'd friend was slightly too happy about how much fuss his prank had caused.

dH severely broke his ankle, needing surgery and pins and may need another due to constant pain, while playing football with our 3yo. Look at me son! Slide tackle into the ball, crack, cry.

BikeRunSki Sat 31-Aug-13 07:22:55

I was asked to leave Kew Gardens once when I said a very rude word, because I'd swallowed a bee or wasp that had flown into my drink. I am allergic to bees.

BikeRunSki Sat 31-Aug-13 07:26:01

And I knocked myself out in a soft play centre, chasing after my 4 yo. Hofizontal cross bar, right height for preschoolers to get under, not 5'8" adults.

HandOfTheKing Sat 31-Aug-13 07:56:27

Not me but BIL - spent most of his adult life racing cars in various forms and survived loads of crashes with minimal injuries. Tripped over a spanner in his garage and broke his leg in several places resulting in numerous weeks in hospital and lots of pins.

BooMeowson Sat 31-Aug-13 08:46:51

My husband can't remember how old he was but he was young enough to bathe on his own with the door open.

He's lying in the bath when a cat launches itself into the bath, realises there's water and starts to scramble on his crotch before it screeches out of there.

His Mother was retelling the story to some friends she knows recently and casually asked me "Does he still have the scar on his willy?" shock

and no

LikeCandy Sat 31-Aug-13 11:13:59

Sat on a coat hanger that I'd put on the bed and forgotten about- with the hooky bit poking up :,(

Taken most of the skin off my bottom lip whilst ripping tape with my teeth - done ths twice, eating / drinking is unbearable with a raw lip!

musicwithrocksinit Sat 31-Aug-13 11:44:38

I was climbing over an old fence that was lined with electric fencing. The bit I was standing on snapped and I went fanny first on to the fence to be bashed, scraped and zapped in the same unfortunate place. Even my hairy mare had some sympathy for me then

musicwithrocksinit Sat 31-Aug-13 11:46:41

HAIRY MARE?! Haughty mare! A Freudian slip grin

My daughter, when she was about 18 months old, accidentally poked me in the eye with her finger. I guess her nails must have been a bit long as it really hurt, although it wasn't until a few hours later when I woke up in extreme agony and begged DH to take me to the hospital. The doctor was sceptical until she looked at my eye; she said she could clearly see a great long gouge in my eye. Ick.

Was the most painful thing ever, way worse than childbirth. And explaining that it was a humble game of peekaboo and a childs fingernail that had caused it was just the icing on the cake.

fackinell Sat 31-Aug-13 16:28:29

OMG Secretswitch that totally reminded me about and elderly male patient with a prosthetic leg! He had a hand on his zimmer, other hand pulling the boys dept to the side and I had the leg.he shouted go at the same time as stumbling, let go of his manhood and got a ball stuck in his prosthesis!! Cue much running and screaming up the hallway (me) and the male senior almost passed out.

My risk assessment form was interesting that day!! grin

Secretswitch Sat 31-Aug-13 17:10:50

Really, prosthetics should carry their own warning labels on them!

mathanxiety Sat 31-Aug-13 17:48:07

I was sightseeing in a US city on a wet day just recently, carrying a cup of tea and going down a flight of steps near a popular sight. My right foot shot out from under me on a step and I crashed down on my left side. Got tea all over myself, got the seat of my shorts completely wet from the wet ground, and had to have DD1 come and rescue us (she lives there and had access to a car) - but DD2 and I had to walk quite a distance from where I had fallen to a spot where DD1 could get us with the car. SO embarrassing to walk along a busy street full of smartly dressed people looking as if I had wet my pants.

tulipflowers Sat 31-Aug-13 18:26:06

My DDis very accident prone, always walking into a lamp post or wheelie bins.
Though last winter when it was really icy, she got out if the car and suddenly she wasn't there, she was flat out on her back laughing. She tried to get up again, but fell over as her shoes had no grip at all, this was repeated about 8 times, it was just like the cartoons where their legs seem to run on the spot then they end up in the splits! She ended up crawling on all 4's to a non icy patch to stand!
I could not help her get up at all as was doubled over laughing so much. Good thing she can laugh at herself!

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