Ridiculous, embarrassing accidents/injuries..
I have just trapped a nipple between two plastic laundry baskets and almost severed it. Unbelievably painful, unbelievably embarrassing to tell anyone about in RL!!
Make me feel better by telling me your humiliating mishaps? Happy to bask in the warmth of other's distress
I broke my leg after running away from a clown in a circus who was trying to get me with a giant ticking stick. I ran up the stairs and as I turned to get into the seating I slipped and fell about 8 feet through the gap under the seats. I couldn't move so the circus people had to manhandle a hole in the side of the big top for the ambulance people to get me out.
Years ago an ex-colleague spent ages trying to get me to leave my job to work for her company. Eventually I agreed when they offered me a fantastic package because she'd bigged me up so much.
The weekend before I was due to start, my roomie from uni came to visit. We got absolutely wasted and went back to a house party, where I stupidly started a water fight. On wood laminate flooring, I slipped, smacked my head on the ground and knocked myself out. When I came round, I had chipped my front teeth, broken my arm and had a perfectly formed purple black eye around my entire eye socket.
I can still picture the look on my new colleague's faces when I turned up for work on the Monday morning - this much-anticipated, uber multi-skilled professional with a comedy black eye and arm in a sling.
On a chilly visit to the parents (aged about 28), it snowed and the hill they lived on was like a sheet of ice, so my sister and I decided to relive our childhood sledging fun....however I had forgotten the delicate art of steering and was heading for the thick hedge at the verge. Instead of just rolling off, I put my arm out to save me and cracked my elbow on the frozen road so hard a massive lump and bruise covered my entire arm. The funny part is my ruddy sister laughed so hard she actually wet herself, and her uncomfortable comedy walk back up the hill to the house was quite something.... Same sister is also responsible for throwing a bar of soap at me in temper just as we were leaving to go on holiday, resulting in a massive fat lip - bless her.
In my student days I was staying in digs and the blokes down stairs were partital to playing 24 hours from Tulsa very loudly.
In jest, although later I didn't see the funny side. I used a broom to bang hard on the floor below.
My fatal mistake was I was not wearing any shoes and the broom met my toes with such a force as to break them.
Gene Pitney has never been the same.
Had been for a run on the beach with the dogs. The car park was pretty quiet so I decided to quickly whip off my sweaty top and put a hoody on. But as I pulled the top up my shoulder dislocated and I couldn't move, sweaty old bra fully on show. Luckily a camper van full of people pulled in at that moment and helped me get sorted.
I dislocated my knee at Uni crouching down in very tight jeans to get a bag of broccoli out of the freezer
I also know someone who broke his wrist tripping over a flapjack
<<WHEN FOOD STRIKES BACK>>
My first post on MN! Great thread, thought I'd add me own story.
I was getting out of DH's van to open the gate at my mum's house one night. My handbag strap had become wound around my foot and of course I fell out, shattering my ankle. I've been skiing, climbed mountains but I break my ankle in the most meaningless, stupidest way possible! I managed to keep dessert in tact. Never eaten pineapple cake since.
My ex, as a child, was sliding down something in the garden and got stuck on a nail, ripping the crown jewels. Ouchy
I once decided the big blue beanbag in Ikea looked fun to run at and jump into. Beanbag it was not. It was a big inflatable thing. Cue me bouncing off the other side in the middle on Ikea on a Saturday.
Only the other day I forgot we had put baby oil in the bath for DS. One leg in bath, other out of bath. Side of bath about 6" wide and tiled, cue bath leg sliding everywhere and a MAHOOSIVE bruise on outside leg.
My Grandma when I was a kid coming out of her friends house with potted plants in her hand. Me, my Mum and brother sat in the car. Next minute I heard THUD and grandma had disappeared. A few seconds later I see her scrabbling up from the kerb covered in soil and her hair everywhere. I was so distraught I was crying, my mum was laughing and my brother just sat there and didnt know what to do! I remember about 30 mins later, her still wiping soil off herself including her ear holes lol
My Grandad has a false eye after an accident. Once being in a hospital canteen me him and my cousin and he had some pure orange. So sour it made him squint. Cue me and cousin (maybe about 6/7) scrabbling around the floor looking for his eye!
Frightening at the time but can 'laugh' now. My DS (aged 6) still had the habit of putting things in his mouth. Unfortunately he partially swallowed the Monopoly dog. It didn't travel to his stomach because its feet got stuck in his throat. Had to go into hospital to get it removed. The hospital gave us back the dog in a sample jar.
My first MN post!
About 18 months ago, I was upstairs putting away laundry while DH was out at a client dinner. One of the dogs was being a brat, stealing socks and whatnot and she decided to tear off downstairs with my lovely, new, expensive bra.
I gave chase and promptly slipped at the top of the stairs, tumbled violently down them all arse over tit and ended up in a bloody heap at the bottom. I didn't have my phone on me so I had to wait, in complete agony and unable to move a muscle until DH staggered home drunk as a lord about 4 hours later.
He untangled me, causing shrieks which had the little bugger of a dog howling in chorus and I limped my way to A&E. Didnt break anything thank god, but I was COVERED from head to toe in bruises and my bottom has never been the same. Also, while I was in A&E, DH was blissfully snoring like a drunken fool. Was so tempted to leave him there.
I've just read half this thread with a weird sense of de ja vu, before realising that I'd actually contributed to it several times under at least two different old usernames - that's how long it's been running on and off!
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