I broke my leg after running away from a clown in a circus who was trying to get me with a giant ticking stick. I ran up the stairs and as I turned to get into the seating I slipped and fell about 8 feet through the gap under the seats. I couldn't move so the circus people had to manhandle a hole in the side of the big top for the ambulance people to get me out.
Years ago an ex-colleague spent ages trying to get me to leave my job to work for her company. Eventually I agreed when they offered me a fantastic package because she'd bigged me up so much. The weekend before I was due to start, my roomie from uni came to visit. We got absolutely wasted and went back to a house party, where I stupidly started a water fight. On wood laminate flooring, I slipped, smacked my head on the ground and knocked myself out. When I came round, I had chipped my front teeth, broken my arm and had a perfectly formed purple black eye around my entire eye socket. I can still picture the look on my new colleague's faces when I turned up for work on the Monday morning - this much-anticipated, uber multi-skilled professional with a comedy black eye and arm in a sling.
On a chilly visit to the parents (aged about 28), it snowed and the hill they lived on was like a sheet of ice, so my sister and I decided to relive our childhood sledging fun....however I had forgotten the delicate art of steering and was heading for the thick hedge at the verge. Instead of just rolling off, I put my arm out to save me and cracked my elbow on the frozen road so hard a massive lump and bruise covered my entire arm. The funny part is my ruddy sister laughed so hard she actually wet herself, and her uncomfortable comedy walk back up the hill to the house was quite something.... Same sister is also responsible for throwing a bar of soap at me in temper just as we were leaving to go on holiday, resulting in a massive fat lip - bless her.
Had been for a run on the beach with the dogs. The car park was pretty quiet so I decided to quickly whip off my sweaty top and put a hoody on. But as I pulled the top up my shoulder dislocated and I couldn't move, sweaty old bra fully on show. Luckily a camper van full of people pulled in at that moment and helped me get sorted.