Memorable poos in inappropriate places..(172 Posts)
Children have no decorum have they?
Poet John Betjeman is a great favourite of mine and I once had the opportunity to visit his house on holiday once. Dd was very young and christened the whole visit - or perhaps expressed her opinion of it - by doing an almighty great pooey nappy and we had to leave smartish as other visitors were surreptitiously sniffing and looking sideways at each other.
I never thought I'd be mentioning the great JB in the same breath as this
We also had a rather unfortunate episode in Osborne House under the austere gaze of Queen Victoria's portrait
You and your kids? Where have they brought you down to earth with a bump in their time honoured way?
Just thought of another...
A different dd this time ( i have 4) was 3 and I was taking her to nursery for her afternoon session and she casually turned to me and said "mum, I did a poo on my bedroom floor." I kind of did this and asked her what had she done with it.
Thankfully she had had the sense to pick it up in tissue, skids and everything, and flush it down the loo.
When I was a baby I shat in a box of Cadbury creme eggs, but I don't remember much about that ....
On holiday at one of those camping places like a haven, dd who was 18 months and potty trained by then, let out an almighty tirade of runny diarreah whilst in the swimming pool.
I said to the life guard "my daughters pood I'm so sorry" and he reached for his (pooh?) net and I said, very red faced, " this isn't one for scooping" and unfortunately the pool had to be evacuated by people retching and dodging the pooh stream.
Embarrassing is not the word!
For general cheering up & hilarity
At 3,560ft at the top of Mount Snowdon, DD aged almost 4.
Couldn't wait to climb down the summit steps to the cafe loos so had to get out the emergency travel potty. We formed a human shield so as not to put other visitors off the spectacular views. Area of outstanding natural beauty and DD loudly going 'I'm not finished, they're all lined up like buses, waiting at the stop.' and then getting distracted by a tantalising cliff edge with trousers still round ankles.
On reflection, although Snowdon will now always be remembered for DD's 'highest poo in the country' it was a bloody good job she did it there rather than waiting for the hour long stop-free railcar journey back down.
Ds2, who has autism, once left a small but perfectly formed poo in the very centre of my father's dinner plate before Sunday lunch was served. My father was tremendously calm about it.
He has stopped handling his poos now, thank the lord, but the last time was a classic. We'd left the window open a few inches in our bedroom and he had been busy throwing things out of it when he was supposed to be in bed. We didn't notice until later, when DH retrieved a wedding photo, two books and some of DS1's toys from the flower bed below. When we were leaving for school the next morning I looked back up at the window to check I'd closed it and saw balanced on the guttering below, and gently teetering in the breeze, a large turd. No way of getting to it and friends coming for lunch.
Luckily by the time they arrived the wind had blown it away. Never found it.
Ds left a log on a floor in a restaurant where we were having lunch. He was 18 months at the time, and wearing nappy pads stuck in his underpants (due to heat and humidity)
The waiter said to me most politely, as he handed me some tissues "Madam, would you mind desposing of what your sound has left on the floor next to that table?"
It sure put the young couple off their lunch....
The top of Tintagel Castle will always be special to us. 3 months, no change of clothes & damn was it cold up there.
3 years ago we went camping at Haven in Tenby with our 4dc, the youngest being 7 months. We were also with a friend and her 2 young dds. We had just pitched the tent and were blowing up the airbeds and watching 2 babies when ds aged 5 started jigging about desperately and holding himself, desperate for the loo.
We were all so busy and didn't yet know where the nearest loos were so told him to go between the back of the tent and the hedge, well boys are versatile when it comes to weeing aren't they?
The horror struck when he shouted for some toilet paper and I went around to see him squatting above a huge mound of poo, some of which had navigated it's way into his pants. Early afternoon on a busy site. Oh dear....
Just reminded me of when my DD1 was potty training and did a huge poo on our laminate - it landed on it's end and she turned, looked at it thoughtfully and said
"look mummy, I made a snowman"
My DH was doing a full immersion baptism at our church a couple of months ago. It was a lovely ceremony (despite the paddling pool used for the baptism and DS saying 'daddy, swmimming!' V loudly!). DD who was 4wo at the time needed a feed part way through so I got on with that and then a bit later, during the prayers she let out the sloppiest, fartiest poop just at a quiet moment... Cue lots of the congregation collapsing in giggles all around us!
My cousin did the show room toilet one, much to his parents' joy! DS currently likes to leave a log behind him while stand up and peeing in his potty- he's not yet 18 months so can't be cross!
His best ever was in the trolley in M&S Food shop, he was only a few months old, but the smell was soooo bad we had to drag the trolley behind us, rather than push him in front!
Few years ago now I was sat in the living room when this awful stench hit me. I spent about 30 mins turning the house upside down to try and find the source, thinking one of the cats had left me a little present. Nope, nothing.
Until I opened the dryer door. Oh my.
It ahem, "came out" later that ds had shat himself, and being at an age where he really shouldn't have (was engrossed with the playstation apparently ), embarrassed, he'd sneaked his pants into the nearly full washer quickly, not even thinking to remove the steaming heap first (I suppose his logic was that it would dissolve and i'd never know ). Then i'd tootled along, popped in the powder and lovingly washed and dried his turd.
I didn't find it amusing at the time....
Myself, DD and Hubby were in the lift, with a few other people, DD has problems with her bowels now and then and I suddenly got a wiff of, well, you know what. So I turns to Hubby and say, at last shes managed to go, but hes stood there with a scarlet face and hes trying not to laugh. Turns out HE had passed wind, silently, and stood there letting me blame our DD for it!!! lol
My son filled his nappy and most of the high chair in Annette's Diner at Disney Land Paris
sabretoothtiger - yours was also hilarious!!! i must add some of my own when I can stop laughing enough to type!
shrooms, that is utterly priceless!!!!!!!!!!
Countess Dracula and the cube of poo - That is the funniest thing i have evr heard!!!! Someone posted a link from AIBU and I am so grateful, the tears are literally rolloing down my face just now!!
I just know I'm going to be waking up in the middle of the night laughing at that, my poor dh!
our best one was discovering a whole (although probably somewhat smaller than it started out) poo in the washing machine after a full load had been through. It was when DS had just started wearing pants and I'd obviously not checked them properly before putting the wahs on. The whole load smelled awful and it took three washes to remove the smell! Not good!!
Aaah I've been on MN (with other names) for over a year and I've finally read about the cube of poo! I feel part of the furniture now
i know im a bit late onto this thread but felt I should add this contribution. On family holiday to Cornwall went to Eden Project with family. DD2 was about 2 we were sat in the cafe noshing on some lovely food with DD2 nicely straped into on of the high chairs when she suddenly let out the most enourmouse fart followed by a torent of poo. There then followed what DD1 liked to describe as an exploding nappy situation and a very swift dash for me with dd2 still strapped into her wheely high chair across to the nearest toilets whilst trying to contain the overflowing poo within the high chair so as to not make it too obvious what had just happened. Thak god for a change bag full of spare cothes and nappies !
My poo stories:
When I was really small i.e. 4 or 5 and shared a room with my sister, one of us shit in the toy box during the night. Obviously half sleeping, the box with a lid was close enough to a toilet for whichever one of us that it was!
My mum was not impressed when she seen what had happened to Jnr Monopoly.
The reason I think it was my sister.. is that a couple of years later whilst my parents were out and another mum in the street was watching her Dsister needed a poo. Her friend told her that she wouldn't be allowed inside to do the poo, and so Dsister did it in the garden.. then said "friend" told her she couldn't leave it in the garden... Cue parents and I arriving home and Dsister walking round the culdesac with a poo..on a leaf!
ROFFLE!! My poo stories: DD was one of those poo-up-the-back-and-in-the-hair BF babies. 6 Months old, in her christening gown, waiting to go into the service...cue explosion EVERYWHERE. I didn't have time to go home and change her, so ended up rinsing her under the taps in the supermarket loos, and she got christened in a bright orange dress as it was the only dress on offer! With DS2, I was in a meeting with the headmaster of the primary school to decide if the MS school could take him. (he must have been 4.6 at the time, but has SN and had only very recently been toilet trained). He was sat in his mac major in the office, and he waited for a lull in the conversation to say "Mr Head man I done a poo can you smell it? You want to see it?" Then proceeded to put his hands down his pants to pull out a handful to show the headteacher...AARRGGHH!
I was 6 and stood a few feet away from my mum changing my baby (bf)sister's nappy on her lap. Next thing I knew I was covered from head to toe in warm brown stuff. Unfortunately I must have been open mouthed in horror.
Oh my!!! I was reading through this and remembered one of my children talking about stopping at a McDonald's on the highway with a play area with one of those cages filled with plastic balls. DH was traveling with them and since it was a 6 hour drive he wasn't about to turn dinner into a play time so they weren't allowed to go in.
While they were watching (sighing and watching) the play area full of children an older child went over to fetch a younger sibling out of the balls (there were 3 others from other families in there also and all without shoes) he shouts back to his mother, "__ is naked from the waist down and peed!!!". Every parent ran to retrieve their children but the three had wet feet. DH was happily the non fun parent.
Another time though (same route, different trip) he made the mistake of letting them have soda with lunch. The youngest got car sick and vomited causing the next oldest to vomit. He was a block and a half from the destination and had to have the car professionally cleaned to get the vomit out of the leather and upholstery.
that's ok then!
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