10 year old ds just been asking about sex toys and what they are made of

(67 Posts)
HoneyDragon Tue 06-Aug-13 16:21:22

Having established he found out about them on the Internet I made a mental note to check parental controls I stammered my way through a child friendly explanation, whilst his horror visibly increased, as did my own trauma.

He then asked about the duck ones his father had brought home a while ago.

Turns out he was thinking about Stress toys.

We have agreed to Brain bleach and never speak of this again.

I wish I still drank.

Solo Mon 02-Sep-13 11:00:18

Slightly different, but Dd (5.8) asked what a funeral director was. I was driving at the time, my Mum beside me, and Ds (15yo) sitting with Dd in the back (of course!)...Ok, how to explain it 5yo style.
"It's someone that looks after you when you die" says me. Now, it was dark and I couldn't see Dd's face, so not sure what that was doing, but Ds suddenly says to her "No! not Jesus!!!" hmm we all cracked up, but you might have had to be there! grin

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 01-Sep-13 17:35:02

RoastedCouchPotatoes

grin DS asked me about 'erections' recently. He's young and I was a bit hmm but hey, it's my duty, right? He'd got muddled up (he's developmentally delayed) and was talking about his Lego tower because he'd heard something about erecting something or other on TV. It was the end moment when I saw him gaping and staring, like it was a whole new hell, and then kind of feeling it filter through. He now runs away if I start explaining something blush

I have just literally LOLLed like a cackling barmaid at this post and my 5 y/o DS called from the other room "what's so funny, Mummy?"
grinblush Nothing darling.

Solo Sun 01-Sep-13 02:06:31

<Hysterical giggling here!!!> grin

Thumbwitch Sun 01-Sep-13 01:50:41

YAY!! gringringrin

(Sorry honey wink)

Ooh, classics!

It's like they want to escape. But they can't. So they have to stay and your mouth blabbers on and you want the ground to swallow you up. And then you finish and there's silence as it sinks in what just happened.

HoneyDragon Sat 31-Aug-13 19:46:57

It's awful isn't it. You can see the trapped look in their eyes but your mouth can't stop .

grin DS asked me about 'erections' recently. He's young and I was a bit hmm but hey, it's my duty, right? He'd got muddled up (he's developmentally delayed) and was talking about his Lego tower because he'd heard something about erecting something or other on TV. It was the end moment when I saw him gaping and staring, like it was a whole new hell, and then kind of feeling it filter through. He now runs away if I start explaining something blush

Thumbwitch Sat 31-Aug-13 17:57:34

<saves thread>

HoneyDragon Sat 31-Aug-13 17:43:42

No!

In chat the evidence is destroyed.

Thumbwitch Sat 31-Aug-13 17:42:50

Ahhh Honey, another classic! I do love your threads. But I wish you wouldn't keep putting them in chat... can you get it moved, pleaseandthanks? grinthanks

I don't often literally laugh out loud at things I read, but this has tears rolling down my cheeks. hah grin

HoneyDragon Tue 06-Aug-13 21:16:13

Zombies.

He actually has a question for his
Aunty Zombie. He wants to know what you do if Zombies invade your house? Do you

Fight?
Flee?
Blend in?

Ds loves Mumsnet since he found out it had a resident zombie smile

ChippingInHopHopHop Tue 06-Aug-13 21:08:07

Oh honeydragon I do love you.

I'm so grateful for a good pelvic floor!!

Oldraver Tue 06-Aug-13 20:59:48

Oh for a moment I thought you were going to say he had found one.

Oh no DS was not jumping around the bedroom waving a jelly 'wiggly worm'

GigiDarcy Tue 06-Aug-13 20:36:59

I teach 10 year olds and have to teach sex ed. been asked such questions as 'what is a dildo' and 'how can 2 ladies have sex.' Got asked last year what a condom was, carefully explained, child walking past chimes in 'oh, my mum uses those.' I had to see her for a residential meeting the following week.

School uses a truly hideous video to explain how babies are made, involves naked cartoons chasing each other with feathers. I could send you a copy for DS if you like?! grin

IamtheZombie Tue 06-Aug-13 20:36:48

Honey, perhaps the next time DS asks an awkward question you should tell him to ask his Auntie Zombie. That should at least buy you a bit of thinking time. grin

Wiifitmama Tue 06-Aug-13 20:33:33

Just read this out to dh and after we had both recovered from our fits of laughter, he did say that asking the question "And what makes you ask that?" should always precede any lengthy explanations about sex or bodily functions smile

HoneyDragon Tue 06-Aug-13 20:30:49

Ahem

ClaraOswald Tue 06-Aug-13 20:27:08

Touched in the head?wink

HoneyDragon Tue 06-Aug-13 20:24:41

Why thank you thanks <genuinely touched>

ClaraOswald Tue 06-Aug-13 18:21:46

If it had to be anyone, I am so glad it was you.

grin

HoneyDragon Tue 06-Aug-13 18:20:16

Yes, his "tentacles" were hurting.

Although testicle hunting conjures up some bizarre Elmer Fudd images

Osmiornica Tue 06-Aug-13 18:07:33

Missed out this grin

Osmiornica Tue 06-Aug-13 18:07:14

I'm assuming you meant hurting not hunting. Testicle hunting would be most strange.

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