Tell us about your worst wedding experiences?(490 Posts)
Inspired by diamondsonthesoleofhershoes thread in aibu.
The worst wedding I have ever attended was an attempt at a big traditional wedding done on a tiny budget. Freezing cold room, luke warm daytime buffet with 2 choices served on paper plates that bent when the food hit them, no drinks at all, not even a toast after the speeches. There was a pay bar which is fine with me but not even one glass of wine with the meal seems mean. The night buffet was worse than the daytime one, a few plates of dry sarnies and 2 plates of mummified chicken. No pudding of any description throughout the whole day I was cold and hungry all day. The bride had told me before hand that most of their budget had gone on outfits for the wedding party and the cars. Cars which no one saw anyway On a positive note, the drinks weren't extortionate like they are in some places.
I am not a fussy cow btw, my ideal wedding as a guest would be a village hall type of affair with everyone bringing a plate and a bottle.
My wedding -
1. my (now sadly deceased) sister became very ill indeed and nearly ended up in hospital. She rallied in the end and was my bridesmaid That was wonderful - to see her better
2. I was so grateful to my ds's carer (sis was disabled) that I invited her for 'a drink'. Five hours later, she was still there, pissed as a fart and no longer able to care for herself, let alone my sister.
3. My aunt (married and in attendance with her h) was caught on video camera kissing my cousin (her nephew) on the lips.
4. A girl I was at school with invited herself to the wedding. She turned up with three extra people and stole some bottles of wine at the end of the wedding to take home with her.
Despite all that, I have happy memories of the day!
I went to a wedding and there was a rather sad atmosphere. Neither set of in-laws approved of the wedding and had not give the bride and groom (who were in poorly paid jobs) any financial help at all. There was no food except for Haribo sweeties. There was wine, however. The groom's sister got drunk and got up to sing, very badly, in front of everyone. The sad thing was that you could sense the bad vibes coming from the parents...
Went to BIL's wedding. Big top table with all the family on it. DH and I were the only two left off
I don't mind for myself but DH was really hurt, can't explain it at all, and won't ask.
People kept asking me what the rift was, and I felt like a right twit having to say 'I literally have no idea'.
I haven't read all the entries, but I think my bad wedding experience wins, as it was so awful it made the news... It was my Aunt's wedding about 10 years ago.
That side of my family is from Italy so they decided it would be lovely to get married in the local church there and arranged for everyone who was coming over to stay in the village. Unfortunately my Aunt is completely disorganised and so flies out to Italy just 3 days before her wedding when the vicar asks for the marriage license and she doesn't have one so they can't get married in church.
Because everyone's coming out still they decide to have a faux wedding celebration in her sister's lovely large house about 1/2 an hour from the village. The family's a little bit dramatic so started planning ways to stage it to make it a fun fake wedding, complete with a "Sea Captain" to officiate, and getting people to volunteer to "object" who would then get "shot" by a pistol that fires blanks. (See, drama)
Anyway, the day of the wedding is mad, as there's only 1 local taxi so all of us in cars are having to do round-trips to pick up and drop off guests. My (non-groom) Uncle is speeding to do it, gets pulled over by the local police and EVERYONE in the car gets their passport taken off them which causes a bit of upset but we get to the "wedding" and they've pulled together a really nice last-minute set up with enough chairs and food and what not.
The wedding starts, and my (non-groom) Uncle is dressed in full captain regalia, and it's all rather funny and very suited to them, it gets to the point of "Speak now or forever hold you peace" and 3 people object and get shot as planned... then the screaming starts. The pistol hadn't fired blanks but these weird hunting bullets that had basically acted like little pieces of shrapnel. It was a complete oversight on their part but honestly how stupid can you be to not check that?!
The wedding ended with 3 people hospitalised, 4 people in jail and the entire wedding party missing their flights home (and the B&G their honeymoon) because we were all not to leave the country as witnesses / suspects.
I went to a wedding this weekend and I didn't even have a place at a table! Dh's close friend from work, with whom he had confirmed several times that we would BOTH be there (I had only seen the bride and groom the Saturday before and said I was looking forward to it) I was absolutely mortified watching them quickly squeeze me onto the already over filled table and because of that there wasn't enough food to go round and two people on our table ended up with no potatoes or veg, just a pissy bit of chicken and gravy.
Also, wedding was at 2pm, nothing to eat til 8pm! The reception was due to start at 6pm but was for some reason delayed. The disco was meant to start at 8pm so there were guests arriving for this whilst people were still eating their meal and were told to wait outside.
The groom forgot the best mans present and left the price on all the flowers he had bought that morning for the bridesmaids.
But they both looked very happy and that's what it was all about so nobody even batted an eyelid -- although there may have been some fuss about the food--
Worst I went to was an old boyfriends cousin's. it was a nice day but I didn't know many people and it was a Sunday. They seemed horrified when we left early as we had to be in work the next day and had a 300+ mile journey home.
Worst I heard of was a friend of a friend. They had to have a minimum number at the venue (200 +) so invited lots of randoms. The best man mentioned that the groom had been in prison when he was younger (unknown to bride's family) and a load of stuff that went on at the stag do.
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Loving reading these (aside from blackcurrents, what a heart breaking story).
I photograph a lot of weddings, specializing in that unobtrusive, no-3-hour-portrait-session, reportage style. So I've seen MANY weddings, and 9 out of 10 of them tend to leave me with a lovely warm feeling, regardless of the stressful nature of the job.
Sometimes, weddings do suck, and it's always because the B&G have prioritised a fancypants venue, OTT dress/suits and blingy cars over the comfort, fun and full bellies of their guests.
The worst was a Christmas wedding, out in the Surrey sticks. I started at the brides hotel for getting ready shots (9am), the hotel was a 40 minute drive to the church (so of course she was way late), followed by another 40 minute drive to the stately home reception out in the woods. The couple were two fairly young people who just didn't seem to have a soul or a crumb of personality to rub between them.. freakishly soulless. It was all a bit conventional and slightly TOWIE, but whatever, each to their own. However the vibe was definitely all about 'them', I can't comment too much on the reception as I was running round taking a zillion permutations of tacky portraits of the couple (at their request), however what I did see looked quite cold, ignored and boring. Lots of older people propping themselves up against marble surfaces. Grim.
They were late to sit down to dinner, and when they did the speeches they were appalling. It had become apparent that neither of them had many friends (I had noticed that there was a distinct lack of people of their age group in attendance), and during the Grooms speech he totally slagged off the Brides father in a very vicious way that made everybody's faces drop. The father was obvs not there (I have no idea of the history), however the Bride's Mother and Step Father were there and they were total sweethearts and were pretty much the two people that added some warmth to the proceedings. He could have just said something like how great Step Dad was, which of course he didn't. I got some lovely pictures of people looking super upset.
Anyways, so then they totally dragged their heels about cutting the cake and doing the first dance, they just sat at their head table not really talking to anyone and looking bored, everyone was bored, I was aching to get away because by this point as it was nearing 10pm and I had a 2 hour drive back to London, and I hadn't eaten ALL DAY, and it was Christmas tomorrow! I mean jesus! Those cheeky fuckers declined to feed me, only telling me that afternoon! So I told them I'd give them half an hour longer and then I had to leave, so get to the cake and dance floor bitches! During all this waiting multiple guests sidled up to me to comment on how soulless and crap the wedding was (I get that a lot, drunk and not so drunk guests always offload to me their true feelings about the B, the G & the wedding). Finally they do the cake and the dance, I get the pics and leg it out to the car park as fast as possible. Along with 85% of the guests. The place emptied, everyone desperate to get away from the soulless, self obsessed weirdos sat in the cellar of that drafty old hall.
Shame really, her mum was super sweet.
And from that crap wedding I learnt; have a contract, stipulating hours and clarifying food provisions.
Please excuse the long bitch-a-thon, I have never really been able to offload that in written form. It was quite cathartic.
Definitely the one where the groom's mother was completely ignored all day. She was left out of the photographs and although she was sitting on the top table the groom had his back to her throughout his speech and didn't mention her once. It got worse when FOB thanked everyone from his family to the gardener of the venue (who did deserve a thanks, whoever it might have been!) but failed to mention the groom's mother. They even gave out gifts, the brides mother got a lovely bouquet. It was very uncomfortable and awkward!
Another which was an bad experience for us was one which took place in a very expensive stately home, miles away from all the guests. We all had to pay a fortune and stay for 2 nights due to the distance (didn't mind, lovely friends). Only the wedding party were staying at the wedding venue, the rest of us stayed in various B&Bs in the nearby village. After the very long day (4 hours of photographs) we had a lovely meal and were looking forward to the night celebrations. Turns out they hadn't organised one but the pub nearby were happy to oblige, the pub was tiny and freezing, not to mention full of the local drunks who were quite scary. The wedding party all stayed at the venue to enjoy the suites they were staying in, complete with hot tubs and cinema room. Most of the abandoned guests went back their respective B&Bs. We all got to enjoy the photos of the great night the wedding party had which were all over Facebook before we'd even left the village! It must have upset a few people as our friends who attended never talk about it.
They could have been worse though!
Well it started off badly when the invitation came addressed to CalamityJDH and Sarah (when my name is not Sarah, nor is it close! And the groom had been to our wedding 3months before...) and ended badly when the bride, having been told by the best man about the mistake with my name, actually came over to our table during the meal and said 'well maybe if you'd invited me to your wedding I might have remembered your name'. In my defence my DH was in charge of knowing if his friends needed a plus 1 and when I met up with the bride a few years later she did say her husband had form for having girlfriends which didn't last very long and so even if we had known about her we would probably have thought she was just another in a long line (her words). To top this there were only 2 courses of food and no evening buffet. On the upside there was a free bar (money saved on food clearly spent on alcohol) but that combination meant everyone was shitfaced as we'd not had enough to eat.
I had to revive this to share about a wedding I went to about 4 years ago now. Have name changed as this would out me in RL!!! Apologies for length but this is a beaut.
Had been with (my now) DH about 10 months at this point and the whole time I'd known him the wedding of one of his best friends from uni had been looming. She was the bride and a total bridezilla- the first time we had met about 9months earlier I'd found out that her wedding was going to be held on my 27th birthday. Lucky me. The first thing she had said when she found out her wedding day would be my birthday was "at least it's not a big birthday so you can't steal focus from me". Nice. DH was going to be an usher and it was like a military operation. Brides family incredibly wealthy and the whole thing reeks of cash. The dress cost £4grand and she's having designer shoes and 24 caret nail extensions blah blah blah.
Wedding was far from us (like the other end of the country) and started at 12noon on Saturday so we had to go and stay there the night before, driving from work on Friday for 7 hours.
On the morning of the wedding DH is handed an ushers suit which didn't fit at all. It was totally wrong size despite the fact he had been measured at an approved shop months in advance. He rings best man to ask what to do- he didn't have a clue so consulted groom who equally didn't have a clue and told us to ring the bride (we know now that groom and BM were stoned so that explains that). Bride went ape at DH said she didn't need this shit now etc and was crying down phone at DH. Deciding we were screwed DH just decided to wear his own clothes (luckily having come straight from work he had a suit with him) and did that. He knew he would more than likely get in trouble with bridezilla but was at a loss on what to do.
We went and waited for grooms party downstairs an in the meantime the matron of honour- who was also my DHs ex, so fairly awkward- comes and apologies to DH and I on brides behalf and says she's in a terrible state because the groom is stoned and won't wear the £3k watch she had brought him as a present because its too big. Matron of Honour then states if my DH goes into wedding in his own suit the bride will murder him, at which point I stand up for DH and say what choice does he have really as nothing fits and the trousers are six inches to short on the approved suit and there's no way he can wear it. MoH backs down.
We then get to the ceremony room and there is no one sat on grooms side. Turns out his family have declined to come because of some feud. Bride is then 50mins late and when she does arrive has clearly been crying a lot. They get married and she continues to cry and they don't look like tears of joy. Very awkward especially as there's a photographer taking 100 photos a minute inches from her face.
The bride and groom then sit down for the readings and proceed to start arguing under their breath about why he's not wearing the watch and she's hissing "you're drunk and you're stoned" and its all just dreadful.
We get outside for drinks on the lawn and bridezilla marches over to DH and says "why aren't you in your suit?! You don't match!" In front of everyone. Mortified. I start hitting the drinks pretty hard- cant believe this is my birthday and just having a terrible time. Mother of Bridezilla then comes over to talk to DH and proceeds to slag him off for not earning enough in the "ghastly public sector" and then turns to me and says "you must be the girlfriend who's having a birthday" like I did it on purpose. She asks how old I am and when I say 27 she says "oh and not married! I think [Bridezilla] is the perfect age to be married!" (She's 23) so not only am I having a terrible time miles from home on my birthday but I'm now feeling like an old hag.
Rest of the wedding was a drunken blur but the bride and groom barely spoke all day and she kept crying and flouncing off.
They were separated within a year and divorced literally 2 months after their first anniversary.
Post script of the story is when DH and I got married about two years later I didn't wear white. Bridezilla however did wear a white dress and came wearing her own wedding shoes/headpiece/bag. Lunatic.
DH is still friends with her and uni gang- I keep well out of the way. To say she's high matenance is an understatement.
All of these make my FIL snoring loudly during our wedding seem very tame. Now I know him bette,r I realise that it was not because our wedding that was boring, he does it all the time!
The worst wedding I ever attended was my own lol. Didn't want to get married, didn't love the man I was marrying. The reason for going through with it, I was young when we met, I done what I thought was expected of me moving in, getting engaged etc. I ended up with post traumatic stress because of my now ex
I went to a wedding in Cambridge where the bride was French and the groom Italian. The vicar and I were the ONLY people singing the hymns they'd chosen. One of which was Abide with me
And let's gloss over the bride's six-year-old sister's rendition of Ave Maria on the clarinet.
I've realised that we probably did do things wrong when we got married (first on either side, no young counsins and I don't think I'd even been to a wedding before then). Well, not entirely, but I don't remember organising food for the hotel after church and stuff.
I know we had organised hot whiskies in the pub across the road from the church for everyone else while we ran ahead to hotel to get photos started (twas mid-winter and lashing rain). There was mulled wine and sherry (and tea and toast for my gran) on arrival at hotel. We weren't too long getting photos done as we got family to hightail it (bridal party immediately, rest pretty quick) from church, so we were nearly done by the time the rest of the guests were arriving (I know we had 2 final photos - with my 3 grandparents, and then me taking one of DH - out in the conservatory as drawing room was filling up - but then we were done). And I don't think dinner was long after that. There were big roaring open fires in all the rooms. There was a bar (and I have no idea if Dad paid or if it was cash - probably free before dinner and cash later), and then we had LOADS of food.
We didn't have an evening event, as we just wanted a small family event (well, both sets of parents had friends they HAD to invite, but we didn't invite any), and we didn't want a disco but we had the local folk group in for a sing-song and session after dinner.
But the girl dropping the flowers let me know, 45 minutes before the ceremony, that when she'd dropped off the groom's side flowers about 20 minutes before, groom had been in bed ill. (I knew he was suffering flu but I hadn't thought he was that bad).
My family is so chronically unorganised that they all foostered about all morning, and then left it very late to get ready. Mum had insisted on using "her" hairdresser in the city (25 miles away) which meant we had to be there at 8.30am. I had given up and gone to bed at 3am the night before (not partying - last minute organising as others had not done what they'd promised) - and then I had to wake everyone else up at 08.05 when they all slept it out for the trip to hairdressers. I was starving!! all day - I was given a cup of tea and a scone in a cafe on route back from hairdresser - I really wanted a proper bacon buttie to keep me going not a tiny stale scone and horrible strong tea. I had to get myself made up and dressed alone (and beg for someone to close my zip). My sister did the driving, and only left to drop my 2 bros up 5 minutes before due to start (they were ushers), then had to come and collect mum and 2 sis's and drop them, before coming back for me and dad. So I was 35 mins late before even getting there which I HATED! And then photographer wanted a shot outside (it was agreed) but I was worried about DH, and wanted to get on with things as I was so late. So another couple of minutes.
I was shattered with exhaustion and nerves. My parents did nothing but make it stressful running up to it. Dad annouced 5 days beforehand that he was paying for meal etc - when we'd done everything we could to make it cheap and fit our budget at that stage. So it was too late to make a nice honeymoon from the spare funds. I worked until the Tuesday, for a Saturday wedding (took less than 2 weeks off) 160 miles from where I then lived and worked. I went for my first ever full leg and bikini wax on the Friday morning. I had 40 million spiky pins digging into my hair in a syle I hated and wearing a dress I had settled for and very little was what me and DH really wanted. (I had wanted a white or ivory skirt with a claret red velvet top as it was a mid-winter wedding and I am pale anyway, small family meal in a restaurant (we sorta got that but twice the size we wanted) and a lot less fuss than we had). Oh, and we got home from honeymoon to find that my mum had commandeered the bouquet, and stripped it of everything and was keeping the holder for flower arranging. She hadn't even dried a single rose like I'd asked.
We laugh now. But we also now have both grown backbones and do our own thing. It will be interesting to see how my bro's wedding turns out next year (SIL to be is starting to show signs of Bridezilla - but that may just be uber-organisation from across an ocean) as the next family wedding. Meanwhile I have already started the fitness regime to skinny down and look FABULOUS (although absolutely not as fabulous as the bride).
It was truly awful
At my Aunties wedding her first husband's mother and sister turned up and when she came out of the church they hurled abuse at her and called her a sl*g in front of all her guests!!
I have clicked "Report" and asked for this to go into Classics.
If you think it deserves it please do the same.
How horrible for that bride's ILs! If that were my DIL, I'd have been tempted to get up and ask why she expected either set of parents to pay up!
Celia they must have felt awful.
My parents paid for our wedding and FIL paid for our honeymoon <spoiled emoticon>
ethelb thank you - I agree that an evening do can be done well.
It is traditional, Dilys but the way she stood up and deliberately thanked her parents (with emphasis) was done to embarrass her in-laws (she and my sil had been grumbling for months that the groom's parents hadn't offered any money).
It must have worked though, because after the wedding the in-laws handed the bride's parents a cheque!
"It ended up with one father presenting his new son-in-law with a match and getting him to burn the IOU for £8,000 he'd given them for a house deposit."
That sounds so cringeworthy!!
Surely it's entirely traditional for bride's parents to pay for wedding? It's a bit old fashioned but I certainly wouldn't think "why didn't the grooms parents pay too?" OTOH I would then probably expect groom's parents to shell out for a very generous wedding present.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.