Tell us about your worst wedding experiences?

(490 Posts)
ENormaSnob Tue 08-May-12 13:49:48

Inspired by diamondsonthesoleofhershoes thread in aibu.

The worst wedding I have ever attended was an attempt at a big traditional wedding done on a tiny budget. Freezing cold room, luke warm daytime buffet with 2 choices served on paper plates that bent when the food hit them, no drinks at all, not even a toast after the speeches. There was a pay bar which is fine with me but not even one glass of wine with the meal seems mean. The night buffet was worse than the daytime one, a few plates of dry sarnies and 2 plates of mummified chicken. No pudding of any description throughout the whole day sad I was cold and hungry all day. The bride had told me before hand that most of their budget had gone on outfits for the wedding party and the cars. Cars which no one saw anyway confused On a positive note, the drinks weren't extortionate like they are in some places.

I am not a fussy cow btw, my ideal wedding as a guest would be a village hall type of affair with everyone bringing a plate and a bottle.

DontmindifIdo Tue 08-May-12 16:09:37

whackamole do you have any canapes or at least nibbles? Is your venue the middle of nowhere? (meaning that it will take more than an hour to get to for the majority of guests, people might not be able to eat before hand if so) Are you expecting people to spend from 2:15-2:30ish until 4pm outside?

Food, warmth, booze.

ShatnersBassoon Tue 08-May-12 16:12:14

An almost hour-long best man's speech, during which the best man swung from tearful to angry to tearful to angry...

He rounded it off with a video montage. It was very embarrassing.

lisaro Tue 08-May-12 16:13:14

I went to a wedding once, had to wear a ridiculous outfit, sit with someone I really don't like, couldn't cop off and to top the whole fiasco off they expected me to cut the bloody cake! I don't even like fruit cake.

grin Lisaro!

JobCarHouseNoBaby Tue 08-May-12 16:17:45

<edges in slightly concerned>

My wedding is later this year, invites have already been posted... Church starts at 1pm, sit down for 3 course meal circa 4.30pm, cake at 8pm, evening buffet at 9.30pm.

I have put these rough timings in the wedding info sheet with the invites with the hope people will think 'ah, better have a late breakfast/light lunch before the church'

Now I'm nervous confused

DilysPrice Tue 08-May-12 16:17:50

Worst was an Evangelical Christian wedding (and by Evangelical I really mean it - I went to their church once and they had maps explaining their campaign to convert, amongst other places, the entire Middle East and India). All the other guests had short neat haircuts (male) or long hair and Laura Ashley frocks (female).
DH, a male friend and I (all atheists) turned up with two foot pony tails (them) and crew cut and emerald silk trouser suit (me) (it was the late 80s and we were students blush). We sat near the front and an empty cordon sanitaire was left on the aisles in front and behind us.

During the signing of the register the brides brother came out with a guitar to play 99 favourite evangelical tunes, none of which we knew. At first we were reassured that it was fine just to listen if we didn't know the songs, but eventually they insisted that we should "sing the next verse to Laaa". The reading was from the book of Revelations, and the priest made no pretence that his sermon had any connection with the bride and groom's happy day - it was entirely focussed on his golden opportunity to convert a captive audience. Sitting completely isolated front centre in our conspicuously non-conformist clothes we just had to sit there and take it. We staggered to the church hall for the reception to be greeted, inevitably, with the words "Would you like orange juice or grape juice?"

I am not ashamed to say that we made a detour via Oddbins on the way to catch the train home.

DontmindifIdo Tue 08-May-12 16:19:03

JobCar - empty tummies, but drinks before the meal - you'll have the speeched heckled. At very least, put out bowls of crisps.

Isaidhangonamin Tue 08-May-12 16:20:09

I went to an awesome wedding, fab venue, food and drink amazing, guests pampered and cared for and the bride and groom so obviously in love....

However, the Bestman's speech was truly grim angry. He kept referring back to the time he was Bestman the 1st time round for the groom and THEN asked the guests to raise their glasses to toast the bride and groom but used groom's first wife's name instead of the actual bride!! The guests gasped in horror, there was a stoney silence and then the gorgeous and very composed bride just laughed and said "Cheers!!" as she raised her champers!

What a dick-head that man was!

howhardcanthisbe Tue 08-May-12 16:21:34

I went to a 'dry' wedding once. We got tea when we arrived at the reception. Dh was in the wedding party so I had to sit without him. Was awful!! Couldn't even buy a drink, the hotel had taken down all the optics behind the bar. There was no atmosphere, the brides family and friends ignored the grooms guests. It was without doubt the worst wedding I've ever been to. (I don't even drink much!)

Weezie85 Tue 08-May-12 16:25:08

I think it is all about making sure the guests have at least something to nibble on when they get there. At our wedding we had lots of nibbles for people in the hotel as well as a welcome drink. People had two bar areas and a lounge to hang around in, massive rooms. So while we did pics people could still have something to eat. Our wedding was at 1pm, only a few miles out of where we live and where most guests where. I think if you give people rough timings as well so they know when they can eat. I mean for us 11am service should of had either an earlier sit down time for meal or at least food you would eat, not weird wheatgrass shots. That isn't even food. Also if you know the venue is so far away from everyone then nibbles are even more important. I mean 90 minutes away, you want to get to service before it kicks off, which meant we had to leave the house by 9am. So 9am until 4pm for all the guests not to eat. The venue wasn't a hotel so no chance of staying overnight the night before.

Sassybeast Tue 08-May-12 16:35:06

Worst one ever was a friend of exs who was marrying the rudest woman on the planet. The reception was at her parents house. They live in Cornwall and have a swimming pool. The reception was in July. Except it was freezing. There was no marquee - they'd pinned up some sheets of plastic to make a kind of lean to against the house. The food consisted of iceberg lettuce, half a tomato and 2 slices of ham. The drinks consisted of beer. Or beer. It started to rain. The contempt that the father of the bride had for his daughter was palpable - she cried during the speech because he repeatedly said that he coudn't believe she'd ever get married - and not in a nice, gentle mickey taking kind of way hmm (that probably goes a long way to explaining her personality)
Then the grooms army mates decided that it would be fun to throw everyone into the pool. Fully clothed. I was 6 months pregnant and got thrown into the pool by 2 burly squaddies.
Nightmare sad
And they're divorced now as well.

Technoviking Tue 08-May-12 16:36:08

My worst wedding experience? Going through with wedding number 1. grin

I've only ever been to one "bad" wedding!

The bride and grooms family hated each other and the bride's brother gave a speech in the ceremony (was meant to be a reading and turned into a speech!) And called the bride 'gollum' and 'animal from the muppets' due to her 'screaming hissy fits when she doesn't get her own way' (very true!)

Then there came the reception (which I have mentioned here previously) when the brides father said nothing nice about his DD, instead, focusing on her Dsis achievements! He said nothing about her until the end when he just said "oh and congrats to X and X on today" and sat down!

Then there was the meal when they made it plainly clear they didn't really want me there as they just served my other half!! I realised the bride didn't like me and had invited me because she had to as I was the grooms best mates girlfriend but still!! (Me and my OH shared!)

At least we were warm at least...!

goingtoofast Tue 08-May-12 16:39:31

I once went to a wedding totally lacking in atmosphere.
We were friends of the bride and sat on a table with some of her other friends. Her friends were very suprised to be invited as hey hadn't seen her for 8 years or so since they had been at school together (probably not since!). They were invited insead of he grooms cousins, he was upse there wasn't space for them.
The best man speech was really depressing. He said the groom would have killed himself had he not met his wife, then described how depressed he was and how hard he groom found life. Felt so uncomforable.
the party then fizzled out by about 7.30. We helped clear the tables of snacks they had put out and took them to a friends house which had much more of a party atmosphere.
I put me and off having our own wedding and was part of the reason we eloped!

CeliaFate Tue 08-May-12 16:42:54

Sassybeast THEY THREW YOU INTO THE POOL WHEN YOU WERE SIX MONTHS PREGNANT???? Jesus Christ, they would have had to restrain me dh.

piprabbit Tue 08-May-12 16:57:40

DilysPrice - your story reminds me of when I went to a 'naming/christening/accepting into our church' service for the DS of some very old friends of ours. Possibly Baptist or Methodist - can't quite remember.
The celebrant took the opportunity of having a church half full of non-church members and small children as a chance to tell us very graphically that when the world ends we will be damned to hell fires unless we convert immediately.
Scared all but the smallest children witless and took all the joy out of our friends' DSs important day.

Babylon1 Tue 08-May-12 17:12:43

I can't think that we've ever been to a bad wedding per se, they've all been lovely and had their own special moments.

That said, I do prefer the ones that aren't in stately homes/posh hotels/ hotels who think they're posh and charge extortionate prices for flat drinks sad

Some of the best weddings we've been to have been in fields/marquees/village halls where all guests have been asked to bring a bottle and/or plate. There's always been tons of food of a massive variety and plenty of booze too, working on the assumption that you take what you want to drink and a little extra and everyone else does similar!!

I don't like bring ripped off for drinks, but find it equally distasteful to stash a bottle of vodka/rum/gin etc in handbag and buy only mixers hmm

Someone did hit the nail on the head tho when they said the focus should be on the marriage and not on the wedding day smile

moogster1a Tue 08-May-12 17:30:29

jobcar it does sound like the guests are going to have about 3 hours of hanging around between ceremony and food. I presume you have something planned for them to do??!

diamondsonthesolesofhershoes Tue 08-May-12 17:49:49

I had the most awkward moment at my DB's wedding last week.

Earlier in the day the bride had gone spare at me because we'd not brought out invite with is to 'grant entry' into the reception (hadnt realised i needed to), after being sworn at for about 5 mins I told her it had gone in the recycling.
The speeches were about to start so I legged it to go to the loo first. On the way back past the top table my new SIL grabbed my hand and started making a tearful plea to me to forgive her, how grateful she was to have me as a 'new sister' etc etc, cue my other brother (best man) tapping a glass for attention for the speeches. Room of about 150 people turn round and see the bride crying clearly sad tears and me looking a bit hmm
Nearly got a skelping off my mum for that one.

iwantbrie Tue 08-May-12 18:27:51

This was actually one of the nicest wedding I had been to, very good friends, lovely service. Meal etc.
They got married 5 days after I had DD but I went to the wedding but decided to go home after the meal. We were sat having a lovely chat with people we didn't really know when I started to feel a bit funny... Glanced down to see 2huge dark spots appear on my dress which were getting bigger by the second. Of course my milk had come in blush I ended up grabbing DS (who was 7 at the time) picking him up, running to the loos and sent him back to the table with a message for DH. poor kid didn't know what the hell was going on! I spent most of the main course limboing under the hand dryer in the ladies & stuffing tissues in my bra..

Fluffycloudland77 Tue 08-May-12 18:36:04

I went to one that nearly didnt happen because the brides father decided to shag around after 30 years of marriage and everything was a bit up in the air for a while.

His wife took him back.

I hadnt met either parent before the wedding so that played on my mind in the line up.

DilysPrice Tue 08-May-12 18:42:12

Ooh, were the bride and groom Grace Kelly and Bing Crosby fluffy?
(it's the plot of my favourite film)

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

monkeymoma Tue 08-May-12 18:46:29

no matter how much thought has gone into venue/decorations/dress, the ones where everyone has been standing around starving hungary for hours are always remembered for only that!

otherwise: FOG speach turned into opportunity so schmooze buisness associates who he had invited, we were told how lucky we were that they were with us that night hmm, and then he told us why (their CVs basically) bride and groom not mentioned - strange!

angry bride SCREEETCHING at everyone to come and have their photographs taken, she has a formal photograph list a MILE long (her and the girls from work, her and each girl from work by themselves, her and her DH with her work friends, her and her DH with each work friend by themselves.......) was screamed at in the face by the bride to find someone called Marrion, my "protests" that I didn't know who Marrion was just angered the beast grin, eventually found someone who knew a Marrion - phew!
I wonder how she can possibly look fondly back at those twenty thousand wedding photos when there were no happy memories behind the smiles of fear LOL!

Badvoc Tue 08-May-12 18:47:18

Hmmm...2 stick in my mind...

1. Military wedding. Big church service, guard of honour etc. Then back to a working mans club and a warm ham salad on paper plates. A best man so drunk he could barely stand, let alone speak. No evening reception. We all went to a nightclub!!

2. Very large, very expensive wedding (350 guests) in a castle in Ireland. It cost us a fortune..flights, hotel room, car hire etc The church (sorry, catherdral) was in a city MILES away from the castle...we were nearly late but that was ok as the bride was nearly an hour late. After the service, photos took HOURS and then the B&G went off to the caste in a HELICOPTER whilst we all had to shlep back in our cars. After what seemed like an eternity the food was served...my lamb was raw in the middle and I got food poisoning...my ds was so hungry the waitress took pity on us and gave him bread rolls to eat.

It is the B&Gs day, obv, but if you are inviting people to your wedding then they by definition are your guests. So treat them as such. You know...decent food, a drink, not too much standing around, dont choose venues miles from anywhere that people will struggle to get to and at least acknowledge the bloody gift!!!!

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