Mumsnet Talk

Brian cox
You silver fox
You are dead fit
And don't talk shit
Unlike most men.....

Paul Hollywood you are fit too. And you bake cakes. What's not to like????

No! I cannot abide his voice, it makes me shudder. And his hair is too much.

Brian Cox
With your rubbery gob
All that spittle
and flying flob
Dunlop tyre face.

Brian Cox is not for me,

his lips too squishy,

don't you agree?

Although I am sure he is very nice,

I don't fancy a slice.

Nice!! To Benedict Cumberbatch:

Oh Benedict, Oh Benedict
Tell me what are the benefits
Of dying ginger auburn hair black
And fending off a Moriarty attack
Just to jump off a bleeding roof?
(We know you're not dead, we've got proof)
Have you something against Martin's 'Dr Watson'?
Well, we forgive you
You're bloody hot, son!

Thanks Stratters

Paul Holywood should,

keep his eclair away from me,

even for a , I don't think I could.

<limbers up for Cumbercrutch>

No Cumberbatch
Gets near my snatch
Benedict ginge
Keep off my minge
You creepy shite.

Now Benedict I can get lyrical about.

Benedict Cumberbatch
With your lucious thatch
of curls so black
and lips that smack
Solving every mystery
you are the one for me

Now Hollywood
Is a silver fox
He could whip up a cream cake
For my box tea.
Anytime.

Nature Chris from green balloon club on cbeebies

Nature Chris
Nature Chris
Even tho' you're a ginger
You're no minger....

Fancy a shag??

Rupert Everett

Wot a pity you are gay.
Bet I could get you to change your mind...

Oh Brian Oh Brian
With you I’d go flyin
The stars’d shine
If you’d be mine
Let planets soar
I'd be your whore
The moon the moon
Swoon.

Oh Strange from the Killing,
Would you be willing
to shag me on the stair?
My husband won't mind,
he's really quite kind and
i hope you don't mind that he's there.

Brian, oh Brian,
Do you fanncy a shag,
I'd even let you do me up the arse.

Dermot murnaghan

Your name is hard to spell
But hey I'd shag you as well!

John Simm
It was with shock
That I read on the other thread
that you are a cock

Brian Cox
Oh why oh why
Does everyone in the Universe (geddit?)
Fancy you - apart from me?
Do I have something missing
That I don't lust after your annoying winey voice
And rubbish hair
And piggy eyes on a nothing face
At a push
I think I would rather do Patrick Moore
Unles he's dead of course
In which case sorry

I went to uni with Brian sex on a stick cox

Oh Peter Capaldi,
It's a shame you are 53,
But Seeing as I'm 51,
perhaps we could shag anywee (Scottish accent)

Oh Bradley Cooper, Bradley Cooper,
You're so very handsome
I'd even let you do it up my pooper.

Ben fogle
For you I'd bogle
All the way to Ann summers
And say loudly
Can I have a tube of your grow it big cream please?

Monty don
Get out your big fork
And give my borders
A good turning over

Hugh Fearnly Thingywhittingstall
You are a dirty grub
With you I could not do the deed
at all
Not even after a scrub

And while you're at it my bush could do with a trim...