My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

This forum is the home of Mumsnet classic threads.

Mumsnet classics

Please remove your book from my knickers DS

408 replies

TheSkiingGardener · 26/05/2011 07:50

said to my 11 month old who presented me with a book to read to him while I was on the loo.

Any other things you never, ever thought you would say?

OP posts:
Report
SnailWhaleTail · 26/05/2011 07:56

Please do not shut your brother in the freezer.

No willies at the dining table please.

No thank you I do not want to see you put your finger in your bottom.

Those ones are just from yesterday ( sigh ).

Report
TrinityIsAShreddingFatRhino · 26/05/2011 08:00

no I dont want to see your foof thankyou

stop putting snails in the fridge

can I please just crap in peace!!!!!


snailwhaletail, they are really funny

op, good iea for a thread Grin

Report
TrinityIsAShreddingFatRhino · 26/05/2011 08:03

this could be very cathartic

no I dont think you're teacher would like to see your rotten fish

Report
kreecherlivesupstairs · 26/05/2011 08:05

Trust me love, the ladybirds would be much happier if they weren't in a tupperware box.

Report
WowOoo · 26/05/2011 08:06

Please stop licking the television.

Report
TheSkiingGardener · 26/05/2011 08:07

Love the willies on the table one. I thought feet were bad!

OP posts:
Report
CadleCrap · 26/05/2011 08:08

No dear, your willie isn't broken, it is meant to do that

Report
ForeverNamechanging · 26/05/2011 08:14

We don't lick strangers

Sadly said on more than one occasion

Report
TrinityIsAShreddingFatRhino · 26/05/2011 08:17

'we dont lick strangers' Grin

Report
Tee2072 · 26/05/2011 08:35

This from ages ago, when my son was under a year. He had a frog that he was only allowed to play with when having his nappy changed so it was a distraction.

'Son, please take the frog off your penis. Thank you.'

Report
StrawberriesAndScream · 26/05/2011 08:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 26/05/2011 08:50

Why is there a stapler floating in the toilet?

Report
WeirdAcronymNotKnown · 26/05/2011 09:05

"Yes DS. That's your willy. See? It hasn't disappeared in the last five minutes."

Report
WeirdAcronymNotKnown · 26/05/2011 09:06

"My nipple is not a button."

Report
topsyturner · 26/05/2011 09:08

Please stop licking the dog .

Report
LittleBlueBoat · 26/05/2011 09:14

"Dont throw the elephant at the window,please"

"Get the pirate out of your mouth"

"stop raming your motorbike in the tv"

"Sorry, but i dont control what is on tv"

"Oh look you did a poo in the bath, lets get out and your Dad can send it down the toilet"

Report
LittleBlueBoat · 26/05/2011 09:17

"My boob is not yours, no its not, stop twiddeling"

"My nipple does not twist that way it hurts mummy, please stop laughing"

Report
QuincyMincemeat · 26/05/2011 09:30

"no, the dog does not want your willy in his eye"

Report
MentalOriental · 26/05/2011 09:35

"How did you manage to wee on your head?"

"I'm not really sure I want to sleep in the kitchen cupboard tonight, but thank your for putting a cushion in there for me."

Report
LittleWhiteWolf · 26/05/2011 09:41

"Stop putting cat food in the welly"

Report
Quenelle · 26/05/2011 09:47

"Where did you leave your poo?"

Report
Trinaluce · 26/05/2011 09:47

'I'm glad you're enjoying Singing in the Rain, but can you get off the coffee table and put your clothes back on?'

'STOP DRAWING ON YOUR BITS'

'The baby in mummy's tummy doesn't like tea, stop trying to pour it through my belly button'

'Thanks for that condescending round of applause, but I have actually been doing MY wee-wees in the toilet for several years now.'

...I'm sure there must be many more. There'll be at least three by the end of today!

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

TeeBee · 26/05/2011 09:51

Please detatch yourself from my boob, you are 8, you should know better.
I know tickling gives you a stiff willy - that's why I DON'T want to do it.
Put your todger away.
Don't eat your brother's bogies, please stick to your own.
Please lower your voice to a loud shout.

Report
TeeBee · 26/05/2011 09:53

Oh, and said daily:
Your bottom hole is NOT the Octohatch and I don't want to see you open it.

Report
TobyLerone · 26/05/2011 09:55

"Stop doing the Running Man in my office. It's distracting me from my spreadsheet."

Said the other day to a colleague.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.