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Don't accidentally let a cat into your house the night before your wedding. The ensuing melee will result kicking the skirting board (wasn't aiming for the cat, honest) and a broken toe. The toe is slightly wonky now, so is a memento of our wedding.
This thread is absolutely hilarious! Has made my evening.
I have a couple...
... Aged 14, deciding that you'd like a new fringe and getting out the scissors. That tufty bit took a long time to grow back!
... Having been given a second hand car seat, merrily taking off the whole cover to wash without paying any attention to how it goes back together.
... On coming into the front room in the middle of the day and discovering 3 men had opened the front door and were coming into my house, I shouldn't have believed their story and I SHOULD have paid attention to what they looked like, so that after having seen them off in a friendly way, I discovered they had nicked my ipod from my car and were, in fact, ROBBERS I could give a description to the police. Idiot! (As a side note, they were caught that same afternoon, thank goodness!)
So many more, but I can't bear to think about them at the moment.
By the way, blue waffle is, apparently, a hoax. There's no such actual disease. That's what I read anyway. Still didn't need to see it though!
If you have a blocked drain, and drain cleaner and a plunger haven't helped, do not think that an AquaVac can cope with water and try that. Firstly it won't work. Secondly when you hoover the house the entire house will then reek of drains, so you have to buy a new one so your elderly landlady never finds out. Thirdly, said landlady was overcome by the air freshener fumes required to cover the drains smell, collapsed and we had to get an ambulance for her. Fourthly, the rather pricey Dynorod guys will laugh a lot.
Ordering Baileys from a bar with a cheapskate manager. One bottle had curdled but rather than chuck it he carried on using it, just pouring back shots from people who complained. Likewise, do not let guests at your housewarming drink Baileys from glasses previously containing cider. The residue sets like concrete and you will have to throw your brand-new glasses away.
Do not hold the dartboard for your 12 year old brother to aim at. His aim is not that good and you will have to remove the dart from your arm by your self as your mum is out shopping. And also the one from your thigh.
Even if you live on a private track and the only car that ever, ever goes up is your own, still look behind you when you reverse out of the drive because it could be the one day your 75 year old neighbour has got her first mobility scooter and has driven up said track to show you and you could possibly reverse into her. Fortunately I didn't damage her, scooter was a right off though and it dented my bumper.