Baby Born Doll Not Pooing - Really Frustrating

(65 Posts)
HadMyTwo Tue 26-Oct-10 11:17:37

Ok, here goes. Bought a Zapf Baby born doll for my two year old. Fed her the starchy porridge thingy that comes with the doll and now me and my husband have tried everything in the instructions (and a bit more) and she won't do a poo on her potty. I know it's not the end of the world smile but it is making me frustrated and I suspect the doll will get all mouldy inside if not cleaned up (which again requires you to put water in her and then make her do a poo). Raising my kids was probably easier than this. Any help from similarly frustrated MNers would be welcome.

JannerBird Tue 26-Oct-10 11:20:31

Can't help I'm afraid. I hid the sachets from my DDs and told them the doll they had didn't poo! grin

MassiveKnob Tue 26-Oct-10 11:20:38

bloody hell, I have heard about dolls weeing, but pooing..... whatever next grin

Sorry, not helpful, but cannot believe they have such things!

LionOnTheFloorInAPoolOfBlood Tue 26-Oct-10 11:22:45

Maybe she has in imperforate anus - I'd see the doc

wink

BigWelt Tue 26-Oct-10 11:22:58

Have you tried a strong cup of coffee? Normally works for me.

JenaiMwahHaHaHaaaaah Tue 26-Oct-10 11:28:13

Strong coffee and a Camel Light. You might have to blow the smoke into her face, though (unless they can inhale these days).

JenaiMwahHaHaHaaaaah Tue 26-Oct-10 11:29:38

And even if they can inhale I doubt they can light their own cigarettes.

DiggeryGravery Tue 26-Oct-10 11:29:54

<snort> at constipated Baby Bjorn.

Have you tried Movidoll?

HadMyTwo Tue 26-Oct-10 11:29:54

grin JannerBird I should have said no as well, unfortunately my 6 year old read the instructions and was adamant that I go ahead with the experiment.
Meanwhile I will book an appointment with the doctor pronto after having coffee with her.

DiggeryGravery Tue 26-Oct-10 11:32:57

What about dressing her in an all white outfit, preferably one bought for her by a well-meaning childless relative, who only manages to buy baby clothes that are dry clean only?

Though tbh you could be pushing the potty issue too much. You could give her terrible psychological issues if you force her, you know.

bathbuns Tue 26-Oct-10 11:33:31

ha ha haaaaaa ha ha

they really poo nowadays?!

JuicyOoozingLips Tue 26-Oct-10 11:41:57

have you tried feeding it washing up liquid with water and shaking vigorously? this worked with mine.

HauntingTheTardis Tue 26-Oct-10 11:49:47

That sounds borderline abusive to me, Juicy! I was going to suggest a star chart or some other form of bribe.

bathbuns Tue 26-Oct-10 11:49:48

shaking a baby? shock

wink

MassiveKnob Tue 26-Oct-10 11:51:21

are we talking enemas? grin

GreenStinkingStumpSleeves Tue 26-Oct-10 11:52:04

Have you tried cranial osteopathy?

LynetteScavo Tue 26-Oct-10 11:53:31

A consipated doll? I've heard it all now!

ZombieChickensHaveNoMercy Tue 26-Oct-10 11:56:36

I'd remove her head, then blow <partial to toy decapitation>

thanksamillion Tue 26-Oct-10 11:59:37

Clearly it's because you've been spoon feeding and not BLW. A BLW doll would never have this problem grin

iwilldothis Tue 26-Oct-10 12:00:20

Would a little bit of tummy massage help? Remember clockwise massage only to get things moving grin

ZacharyQuack Tue 26-Oct-10 12:01:13

Fill her with strong coffee and dishwashing liquid, duct tape her mouth, nose and ears then jump on her tummy.

Aim her bottom at your MIL before jumping, if you like.

BigWelt Tue 26-Oct-10 12:02:34

Show her a really scary movie

TorturesInAHalfHell Tue 26-Oct-10 12:06:43

I'm just reeling at the idea that someone past the potty training stage would voluntarily buy a creature that can't clean up its own poo.

LotteryWinnersOnAcid Tue 26-Oct-10 12:26:02

What do they look like these days? I had one of these when I was very young and I dug it out the other day... to practise blush (ok not really but I am 27 weeks pregnant with 2 dogs and am trying to get them used to the idea that they can't just jump up on me when I'm holding a swaddled... piece of plastic.)

Mine is horrific looking. DP was disturbed at how gross it is. Do they still look the same?!

I remember that yellow liquid 'poo', too, is it still the same stuff?!

FindingMymOOOOOOOOjo Tue 26-Oct-10 12:28:09

JannerBird I hid all that stuff too. our BB recently went AWOL & when she turned up I could see DD had been trying to feed her goodness knows what - but it stinks. DP did a great job of cleaning her. Nothing came out of bum hole though.

How wish I'd brought a doll who's eyes closed when you laid her down instead of stupid pooey fake bottle silly dummy BB we foolishly choose without any research!

DiggeryGravery Tue 26-Oct-10 12:30:32

lol at this thread

Sit her on the potty and read her a book. Show her a box of Smarties and promise her one if she poos. Tell her she's a big doll now and she can have her own special big girl pants soon.

If that doesn't work, smack her.

deste Tue 26-Oct-10 12:36:31

Laughing at DiggeryGravery.

giraffesCantDookForApples Tue 26-Oct-10 12:38:08

Is her bum hole blocked? Could you insert something up it. Maybe lubricate it first for the poor dolls sake.

Failing that then feed her some of those pills that are on TV when the woman pours leaves out her bag - mataphorical shit.

DiggeryGravery Tue 26-Oct-10 12:41:40

Take her for lunch with 3 other dolls who look like sex & the city characters. Have her confide in them about her blockage - 'you know, bowel stuff' she must say - and then one of them will make an embarrassing slutty remark about the waiter, they will all laugh like it was hilarious and BB will instantly shit herself.

I may have misinterpreted that advert....

HeadlessPrinceBilly Tue 26-Oct-10 12:42:29

Lottery You're pregnant with twin dogs? Is your DP a werewolf?

grin

JenaiMwahHaHaHaaaaah Tue 26-Oct-10 12:42:44

27 weeks pregnant with 2 dogs

shock Someone call Take a Break!

Ohhhhhh, I seeeee. blush

JenaiMwahHaHaHaaaaah Tue 26-Oct-10 12:44:57

Great mids, Headless grin

Clary Tue 26-Oct-10 13:02:59

Fave thread title of day no doubt about it grin

No helpful advice tho thankfully we avoided this item.

hellphireblue Tue 26-Oct-10 13:11:42

Have you tried a reward chart? We found peppa pig stickers combined with chocolate buttons worked a treat.

Failing that, shove something up it's arse and hope for the best.

HauntingTheTardis Tue 26-Oct-10 13:13:01

Another reason to be glad we had boys. Action Man doesn't have this problem!

Tee2072 Tue 26-Oct-10 13:21:30

Has she been taking iron tablets for anaemia? That bunged me right up during pregnancy.

Only thing that cleared the pipes was a strong cup of decaf coffee. But I was wishing I could have a fag.

PerpetuallyAnnoyedByHeadlice Tue 26-Oct-10 13:25:32

take her for a ride on the bus - she will declare that she needs to go as soon as you sit down, problem solved

if you have access to one, a rollercoaster ride has the same effect

HTH

PMSL at pg with twin dogs !!

kveta Tue 26-Oct-10 14:04:34

best thread ever

I was going to ask if she's breastfed, but if she's supposed to be using a potty, I guess she's beyond the 'bfed baby can go up to 2 weeks without defecation' stage

JenaiMwahHaHaHaaaaah Tue 26-Oct-10 14:08:45

This is what happens when you spoonfeed, see. Not breastfed, clearly, and now eating manufactured baby "food".

Poor little mite - have you not heard of BLW? <shakes head>

naghoul Tue 26-Oct-10 14:16:11

grin

HadMyTwo Tue 26-Oct-10 15:15:22

Taking note of all the advice grin. Actually I have just dressed it up and handed it back to my daughter. She thought I was taking over playing with her dolly. Had actually shaken it, poked something up the bum hole blush already. No luck, so am forgetting about it until it starts stinking or the school holidays are over (so I have more me time to devote to doll play).

To answer one question, yes, it is not the most beautiful doll I have seen smile

thanksamillion Tue 26-Oct-10 15:43:44

How about bicarb of soda followed by a vinegar chaser? It works on the sink and you could combine it with a lesson on the symptoms of rabies!

LotteryWinnersOnAcid Tue 26-Oct-10 15:44:08

Yeah, DP is a werewolf, the closest I can get to a real human baby is a baby born doll blush

But can't wait to meet my litter! grin

ENormaSnob Tue 26-Oct-10 15:47:45

The poor thing.

Try prune juice and simple analgesia for the cramps.

If no movement then see your gp.

EvilAllenPoe Tue 26-Oct-10 15:54:23

really, i had my doll pooing on the potty when it was only two seconds old and still in the wrapping.

>blanks out weeks of doll smearing poo on walls<

all you have to do is jam her full of orange juice and then be very firm about not putting her back in the nappy. Ignore any tears on this front - it's just manipulation.

it ma take time so show her cbeebies read her an age-appropriate story to distract her

once she has peformed, reward her heavily with chocolate. if she misses the potty, say a calm 'oh dear, next time in the potty' and clean up without fuss.

Why? Why would anyone by a doll that poos? This is my worst nightmare and i know that one day my mum is going to buy one for dd.

Bloodberrybatbait Tue 26-Oct-10 16:00:57

I have found a glycerine suppository great in these situations but you have about 20seconds from insertion to hand her to someone else so she won't poo on you.

Otherwise a syringe of hot water squirted rapidly into her mouth (syringe spout on the 5ml syringe is about the right size) may help dilute any blockage and let it run out. Also just how high have you bent her legs? they need to be up past 90 degrees to her body.

ZENZIZENZIZENZIC Tue 26-Oct-10 16:59:24

grin

Grumpla Tue 26-Oct-10 22:24:28

MOVIDOLL!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

DiggeryGravey you are a genius. That or I've had one too many glasses of wine. Maybe both.

HabbiBOOOO Tue 26-Oct-10 22:28:39

How old is she? I suspect early weaning may be your problem. have you not read the WHO guidelines?

How do I nominate this one for 'mumsnet classics'?

BistoBear Tue 26-Oct-10 23:30:08

I can't decide what's funnier between "Movidoll" and "I cant wait to meet my litter" - both comments made me snort grin

LadyLatherOfIndecision Tue 26-Oct-10 23:47:48

Don't be surprised that the poo comes out the same colour as it went in

For some reason I assumed some kind of alchemy was going to occur and the poo would be brown and log-like

I was strangely disappointed to have to clean beigey gruel from the bottom

hmm

<covers ears and eyes to prevent knowing about a pooing doll shock >

Let's be clear on this. Dolls are meant to be make-believe play. This all feels far too real for comfort.

Please go away and take your faulty defecator doll with you hmm

grin

AnyFuleKno Wed 27-Oct-10 00:30:54

take the doll to a wedding or some other elegant affair. The wretched thing is guaranteed to do a huge dump as soon as it is dressed in it's best clothing.

Failing that, some 'nappy off' time on mummy's bed (with white bedding) has proven to be most effective laxative in this house

spiderlight Sun 06-Feb-11 19:59:34

Have you tried reading it Poo Goes Home to Pooland?

morfamawddach Sun 27-Mar-11 19:36:41

I had to leave my DD's BB on its potty for five hours to make sure everything had drained out!!!!!!! Then 'lost' the remaining sachets. wink

morfamawddach Sun 27-Mar-11 19:47:29

shock at Poo goes home to Pooland, spiderlight

Midge25 Sun 27-Mar-11 19:55:23

<creased> grin

Geekster Fri 11-Jan-13 19:19:57

This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time I have got tears of laughter pouring down my face.

MeanAndMeaslyMiddleAges Fri 25-Jan-13 22:52:56

How has nobody mentioned Brown sugar in water yet? No wonder the poor thing's backed up!

aladdinsane Fri 25-Jan-13 22:58:18

I broke the leg of dd's trying to make it poo
Don't tell ss

NeopreneMermaid Wed 20-Feb-13 23:21:50

Things what happens when you don't use elimination communication from 5 days old.

NeopreneMermaid Wed 20-Feb-13 23:22:18

*This is. Gah. Autocorrect.

crashdoll Mon 01-Apr-13 17:41:48

I had a baby born doll when I was 4, back in 1992. I took it school for 'show and tell' or whatever it was called in those days. It crapped all over the teacher's desk. I'll never forget that as long as live. grin

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