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A Mumsnet Campaign on Rape and Sexual Violence

(128 Posts)
StewieGriffinsMom Fri 21-Oct-11 21:15:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

giyadas Fri 21-Oct-11 21:38:12

Am reposting the link to the Stop Rape list here as I think it sets the right tone.
I remember the I Believe You campaign being discussed a while ago. Wasn't a website set up?

StewieGriffinsMom Fri 21-Oct-11 21:48:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wooooooooooooooppity Fri 21-Oct-11 22:48:15
giyadas Fri 21-Oct-11 22:59:37

I think the small sexual assaults thread is relevant too.

KRITIQ Fri 21-Oct-11 23:42:55

Thumbs up from me, too. What happens now? (still pretty new to this.)

Selks Fri 21-Oct-11 23:50:12

Thumbs up here too.

ComradeJing Sat 22-Oct-11 02:22:06

Yes please MNHQ. So, so important.

CatherineMacauley Sat 22-Oct-11 03:27:35

I think this is a great idea. I love the "I believe you" slogan.

BeyondLimitsOfTheLivingDead Sat 22-Oct-11 09:16:25

Also love "I believe you". Am 100% behind this.

Again though, I haven't campaigned before? What do I need to do??

StewieGriffinsMom Sat 22-Oct-11 10:07:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlysWorld Sat 22-Oct-11 11:31:20

Yes please

All for this as a MN campaign. I am absolutely sick of seeing the perpetuation of rape myths here and elsewhere. Thank you SGM for raising this.

HeresTheScaryThingBooyhoo Sat 22-Oct-11 12:38:47

i'm 100% in support of this. i can't see any reason why MNHQ wouldn't be either.

LOLerskates Sat 22-Oct-11 12:57:41

Also agree. Like a lot of people, I didn't report my rape, just felt there was no chance of getting justice, and the trauma would've been too much. Also agree with being sick of all the 'don't get raped' advice. There needs to be much more education to boys.

NormaSatansFelcher Sat 22-Oct-11 13:31:11

Another yes here. Lucky to have never experienced this, but agree 100%

DontCallMeFrothyDragon Sat 22-Oct-11 14:06:37

I'm behind this 110%

AlysWorld Sat 22-Oct-11 14:19:12

111%! [pokes tongue out at frothy]

Totally behind this. Love the "I believe you" slogan.

The rape myth buster will be more difficult I think to tackle as they are so ingrained in many people and more importantly the media. Tackling this has surely got to start at school? I also think it would be beneficial if we are to have a campaign to get RapeCrisis, Fawcett, Women's Aid and Object on board or in partnership. Can't get enough help with this tbh.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaWeasel Sat 22-Oct-11 14:52:35

the government is still consulting on changes to PSHE until 30th November, you can submit answers to their questions here - it's interested in organisations views (I guess the MNHQ?) and individuals including parents and teachers etc, so no reason why we can't all fill it in.

There are 10 questions, you don't have to fill it all in. But question 6c) is "how do you think the statutory guidance on sexual relationships education could be simplified , especially in relation to teaching young people about sexual consent?"

So looks like a good opportunity, but we will probably need someone with more knowledge about how the current PSHE education on the topic is framed to write a proper answer.

margerykemp Sat 22-Oct-11 15:04:28

I think "I believe you" is a great slogan.

SardineQueen Sat 22-Oct-11 15:11:02

Yes please to doing something on this.

Also a big thumbs up for "I believe you".

DontCallMeFrothyDragon Sat 22-Oct-11 15:15:27

Yes to "I believe you", btw.

MonstrouslyNarkyPuffin Sat 22-Oct-11 15:20:11

Yes.

madmouse Sat 22-Oct-11 16:56:32

yes to comapaign and yes to title

madmouse Sat 22-Oct-11 16:56:59

campaign even blush

CatherineMacauley Sat 22-Oct-11 17:09:41

I think also that campaignig against rape myths is important; however, as a someone who has been raped, I can't help thinking that as a first objetive the "I believe you" approach is the best. I think it really need to be pushed and pushed as the best alternative to the "don't be a victim" type of rape prevention, which is highly and deeply upsetting to those who have suffered this type of crime. I also think that emphasis on the fact that rape is not a shameful thing to have happened to you, it is shameful for the rapist but not his victim. And that rape is somehow some special crime in which the perpetrator deserves more comprehension than his victim.

CatherineMacauley Sat 22-Oct-11 17:14:12

sorry sent my comment too soon without previewing it blush

What I wanted to say is that emphasis should be on pointing out that rape is a crime like anyother. Accused rapists require nor should need any other special consideration. Their victims should not feel shame.

EmilyMurphyLegallyAPerson Sat 22-Oct-11 17:16:22

Your first post made perfect sense. smile

Thank you for adding your support.

I'd be totally in support of this campaign.

forkful Sat 22-Oct-11 19:22:58

yy - I suggested it! and then left the thread so thanks for picking it up SGM.

I just think that there has been so many powerful accounts of rapes here sad and I think that MN has the power to get this into the media and I think it would have impact as I expect that people would be shocked that rape happens to "naice" MNers hmm.

StewieGriffinsMom Sat 22-Oct-11 19:30:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flippinada Sat 22-Oct-11 19:31:58

What a great idea, 100% behind it.

Wooooooooooooooppity Sat 22-Oct-11 20:29:58

Yes that's really important forkful. I remember someone once saying to me: "you don't seem like a rape victim".

I think that says it all really.

NotJustClassic Sat 22-Oct-11 21:27:55

I think "I believe you" is powerful and brilliant.

StewieGriffinsMom Sat 22-Oct-11 22:04:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

butterflyexperience Sun 23-Oct-11 01:43:15

I'm in

I really hope this goes ahead and makes a bug impact

flippinada Sun 23-Oct-11 09:22:19

"I believe you"

Such a simple thing to say, and so powerful.

Its a good thing for all victims of abuse to hear. Just being believed can really make a difference.

windsorTides Sun 23-Oct-11 11:17:08

Yes please. IMO, both the 'I Believe You' and 'Countering Rape Myths' strands need to be pursued as part of one campaign because while the myths prevail, women still won't feel able to speak about their experiences and to give anyone the opportunity to believe them.

Saw the thread in Feminism about this, but disgustingly it seems to have been hijacked by an idiot troll. I'm not sure how Mumsnet campaigns work, but if there is going to be a thread asking for opinions on how the campaign might be tackled, think MNHQ are going to have to be very careful about monitoring contributions.

By its very nature, this subject is emotive and lots of women will be brave enough to share their experiences. We need to be especially careful that those experiences won't get trampled on by either the stupid, those intent on causing harm or by those who like to derail threads with pointless arguments.

lovecat Sun 23-Oct-11 18:36:52

Yes, yes, yes!

Thank you SGM, Forkful, Lenin and everyone else - MN, please can this be taken up?

"I believe you" - simple but brilliant.

AnyPhantomFucker Sun 23-Oct-11 20:03:05

Yes, I would add my support to this, absolutely

Putrifyno Sun 23-Oct-11 20:23:22

Count me in!

LewisFan Sun 23-Oct-11 20:45:24

me too - especially regarding marital rape

Yes please.

ThatsNotMyBabyBelly Sun 23-Oct-11 21:58:47

Hi there

SGM has asked me to post these links from another thread. They detail some of the largest studies undertaken on rape and sexual assault.

Home Office research

Australian Report

Yes please MN - this campaign is very much needed. Horrific to read some of the accounts of rapes on here. Equally, but differently, horrific to read some of the damaging and hurtful things that are said about (and to!) victims, on here and elsewhere.

I want my daughters to grow up in a world where rape myths don't abound and where, should they be raped, the default response is one of compassion, anger and absolute belief.

caramelwaffle Sun 23-Oct-11 22:53:33

Yes please.

AmorYCohetes Mon 24-Oct-11 01:13:17

Yep, this would be great.

WhollyGhost Mon 24-Oct-11 09:15:11

Yes please

EllaDee Mon 24-Oct-11 09:57:44

This is really great.

I love 'I believe you' too.

FromGirders Mon 24-Oct-11 09:59:48

Yes please.

I would be 100% behind an "I Believe You" campaign.

I would also be 100% behind a campaign to explode / disprove / expose rape myths.

While i have been very lucky in my (possibly very sheltered) life not to have met sexual violence or abuse, my life has been curtailed in the past by the widespread belief in rape myths. I want to live in a society where my actions or those of my daughter / friends / her friends are not perceived as inviting assault.

StewieGriffinsMom Mon 24-Oct-11 10:29:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tooearlymustdache Mon 24-Oct-11 10:33:02

Has this thread been reported to MNHQ yet? So they can read it?

It's a fabulous idea and one that i would be very upset if MNHQ refused to support.

thanks for starting this thread

TeWihara Mon 24-Oct-11 10:48:55

Not wishing to distract anyone, but could somebody look at this thread, the response is a bit... well www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1327571-To-Think-No-one-Enjoys-Sex-The-1st-Time?msgid=28093448

StewieGriffinsMom Mon 24-Oct-11 11:10:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

animula Mon 24-Oct-11 11:27:51

TeWihara - I looked in on it, andI think you're right about the juxtaposition with the thread about 'recognising' sexual assault (and rape) long after the event and this one, about the need to raise awareness - and support - around rape/sexual assault/bodily boundaries for women - especially young women, it would seem.

I don't know what to say about that thread. It seems so clear to me that it is a case of rape/assault - but I doubt the OP has ever been supported in articulating it as such. I don't even know if I should type that here.

Am feeling very, very grim, atm. I do think SexEd in schools should go hand in hand with a huge does of feminist discourse about sexualised societies whose 'sexualisation' is firmly grounded on anti-woman axioms. But I can't see that happening. sad

animula Mon 24-Oct-11 11:51:56

By the way, I think you have a serious point, SGM, so I'm adding my post to this thread. smile

TeWihara Mon 24-Oct-11 12:19:29

Thanks animula (and everyone else!) hope the OP gets to see some of the sensible replies.

Prolesworth Mon 24-Oct-11 15:17:51

I support this suggestion, well done for starting this thread SGM smile

When this idea was discussed last year we did get as far as registering the domain stoprape.co.uk which is still sitting there unused. I'd be happy to sign it over to MN to use for this campaign if they want it.

StewieGriffinsMom Mon 24-Oct-11 16:12:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LeninGrad Mon 24-Oct-11 16:19:21

Adding my support to this. I don't think it would be easy, there is a huge amount of opinion to sway but everything has to start somewhere and if just a few people stop to examine their thought processes that would help.

I'm so sick of all the 'women, change your behaviour' messages too. Just simply being believed would be a start. I can think of loads of ways to get the message out there but it would need an org with clout to back it, if not MN then one of the others or a combined effort.

We need to shift the focus, we are so often on the back foot and get into arguments about stats/ degrees of rape/ women lying etc, it's utterly ridiculous, women and their experiences get completely lost in all this as the focus shifts. This would be positive and supportive and effective I think.

BeyondLimitsOfTheLivingDead Mon 24-Oct-11 16:26:33

The trouble we're going to have though, is that women like to believe there is something they can do to prevent it happening to them. That they wont be raped if they dont walk down dark alleys, or drink too much, or wear high heels...

As true as it is, a "theres actually no way to prevent rape, but we will believe you afterwards, when you tell us it happened" campaign probably isnt going to go down well... sad

(thinking out loud, sorry if its upsetting for anyone)

AnyPhantomFucker Mon 24-Oct-11 17:00:14

it's not upsetting BLOTLD, the wording of such a campaign does have to be very, very carefully formulated

BeyondLimitsOfTheLivingDead Mon 24-Oct-11 17:08:15

Phew, am glad that didnt come out wrong!
I'm just thinking that its all well and good saying "rape myths need to be busted" but that the alternative (if that is - theres not really anything you can do) is probably a bit too scary for people to want to think about?

AnyPhantomFucker Mon 24-Oct-11 17:13:32

that is why there is so much resistance to it

challenging people's ideas that they are "safe" if they merely do X,Y or Z is a very scary thought, and they may resist it to the bitter end

as evidenced all over these boards

otherwise-perfectly sensible posters just have a brick wall come up before their very eyes when you question their beliefs

how to chip away at that is the conumdrum

TeWihara Mon 24-Oct-11 17:29:15

I agree that it is hugely difficult.

Important too not to give anything for distractors to jump on, because then the message gets derailed before anyone has heard you.

ThatsNotMyBabyBelly Mon 24-Oct-11 17:40:34

I think it would be helpful to concentrate on what is rape - that all non consensual sex is rape. Then, even if you can't avoid it, you can recognise a rapist (or potential rapist) when confronted with one and when it happens to you.

Rather than apologising for your partner, colleague, boss, snog etc you know it is rape and not your fault.

Maybe that would be a good tag line "It's Not Your Fault", or "It's Never Your Fault"?

ThatsNotMyBabyBelly Mon 24-Oct-11 17:46:04

Sorry - think the "I Believe You" heading is great , just trying to address the issues raised in the last couple of posts

Wooooooooooooooppity Mon 24-Oct-11 18:19:39

I like "I believe you"

But there's one thing I don't like - it's still talking to the victims of rape, not the potential perpetrators.

I would like a campaign that tells boys and men, that if they have sex with a woman and they're not sure she wants that sex, then they may well be raping her, alongside the campaign that tells women they are believed.

No normal man wants to think of himself as a rapist or a potential rapist. We need to be talking to men about rape more than women. Because they're the only ones who can stop it.

"Men can stop rape" is a good slogan but I don't think society is ready for it yet. It's still a revolutionary concept. Men (and women) need to get used to the idea that rape is not normally dragging a woman you've never met before down a dark alley and raping her, it's usually forcing or coercing a woman into having sex she doesn't want. Getting society to accept that, is going to take a long time.

AnyPhantomFucker Mon 24-Oct-11 18:32:45

Yes, I like it, I like it all

It's gotta be impenetrable by the detractors and the derailers though, you know ?

animula Mon 24-Oct-11 19:15:51

I can see where you're going with that thought, Woooopity. Actually, after having read some threads today ( sad ) I've realised I am more determined than ever to have a few conversations with my son (I have a son and a daughter).

In a culture, some aspects of which are just profoundly woman-hating, I just cannot afford to leave it to that culture to teach respect for women and others.

That is not to hand over an excuse ("Oh, I didn't realise ..." !) it's just to acknowledge the enormity of what is faced.

KouklaWhooooo Tue 25-Oct-11 10:09:05

I totally support this campaign and I love the 'I believe you' idea - it's perfect.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Tue 25-Oct-11 11:06:54

Excellent idea, let's do it.

windsorTides Wed 26-Oct-11 00:46:30

Any news about whether Mumsnet is going to take this on?

SweetTheSting Wed 26-Oct-11 09:04:45

Adding my support.

StewieGriffinsMom Wed 26-Oct-11 10:12:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LizaTarbucksNonSmokingAuntie Wed 26-Oct-11 10:15:39

Adding my support, t

KatieMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 26-Oct-11 11:36:00

Hiya StewieGriffinsMom and everyone that's contributed

Firstly thanks so much for the time and effort you've put into this and the countless other threads - it really is this kind of hands-on involvement that makes Mumsnet a unique place.

In terms of campaign, great idea and great name. We've had a chat here at HQ and think this is probably the best way forward:

1. We'll explore partnering with another expert org who could lead on this nationally, with our support. Lots of mentions of Rape Crisis - they're members of the End Violence Against Women coalition with whom we've worked before (they're great), so we'll probably start there. Boring to mention I know, but we're a small team and are pretty full for the rest of the year, so it might be we can do a better job in the new year, or a short sharp activity before Christmas. We'll know more when we've talked to potential partners, but we'll absolutely let you know what they say and what the timings might be.

2. Mumsnet's support would then be through a full survey (>1000 respondents) that would give clear results and news hook that the partner would manage. We'd give good coverage on the site and support all the media work.

3. We can also host a thread on PSHE consultation and formally feed back to DfE.

Also, it's worth thinking about what the end point should be. Should the campaign aim for broad awareness-raising - or a number of specific asks? If so, what do we think they should be?

And of course whenever you're doing things individually or collectively do come on MN to organise, and spread the word.

Thanks again

MNHQ

Wooooooooooooooppity Wed 26-Oct-11 11:39:44

I think it should be awareness raising of the following:

1. Rape is more common than everyone thinks. 1 in 9 women are raped.

2. Rape is not a stranger in a dark alley usually. It is someone the woman already knows and is probably friendly with. It is simply sex without consent, no other violence is necessary to make it rape.

3. False allegations of rape are less common than false allegations of burglary.

4. A man is more likely to be raped by another man, than he is to be accused of rape by a woman.

That's it off the top of my head, must go for a shower...

oh thanks MNHQ, this is such a good plan. I'm glad you're behind it. There's also the Women Against Rape (WAR) people, who might be useful.

I think we want people to know that rape myths ARE myths, and that the most valuable thing we can do is believe women.

StewieGriffinsMom Wed 26-Oct-11 12:23:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

windsorTides Wed 26-Oct-11 12:32:48

Thanks for the response. Rape Crisis would be the ideal lead partner, but I think it's also worth consulting Women's Aid, the Home Office and Justice organisations, like the Police, the CPS and the Law Society. Currently there are a lot of myths about those organisations and their treatment of rape investigations - and as we saw last week with the diabolical poster campaign from S Wales Police, there are also rape myths circulating within some of those organisations, whereas the majority of Police Forces take a very different stance.

Yes please to the thread that will help build a Mumsnet response to the PSHE consultation, bearing in mind we've only got till 30 November to do this.

As for the outcomes, I'd like to see:

The Home Office commission a new study about rape, in light of the poor conviction rate despite the law changing in 2003. This must inform police and CPS guidelines about the investigation and prosecution of rape - and Judges Rules, when a case is dealt with at court.

A public awareness campaign (Home Office funded) about what constitutes rape, the accurate profile of an assailant and the situations in which he's most likely to rape (i.e. someone known to the victim, in a house or in the marital bed) and what justice men or women reporting him, can expect. This campaign must focus on the profile of the assailant and not the profile of the victim and it must point out that only rapists can prevent rape.

Better PSHE teaching in schools with specific aspects of the curriculum covering porn use and consent, but with a very clear separation between sex and rape, or porn use and sex. We really must defeat the expectation that all boys will use porn and teach about the links between porn and rape. We must also promote the truth that you can be pro-sex and anti-porn.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StewieGriffinsMom Wed 26-Oct-11 13:00:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thefirstMrsDeVeerie Wed 26-Oct-11 13:16:48

I am 100% behind this. I feel that any small gains we have made over the years are being sabotaged by the increasing objectification of women and sexualisation of children. This 'lad culture' must surely make it harder for men to report sexual assault aswell.

Emotional intelligence is acheivable for everyone regardless of academic ability. I feel we need to promote this more widely and not just to children.

I'm a thousand per cent behind this.

The misconceptions surrounding rape and the propensity to fasten blame onto the victim (not to mention the woeful number of convictions compared with the rapes reported - and the fact that a huge percentage of victims won't report at all....) - all these things need to be challenged. We're supposed to live in a civilised society, but the way the victims of rape are routinely disbelieved and shamed is nothing short of disgusting.

GertieGooseBoots Wed 26-Oct-11 13:35:47

I like Wooooooppity's points. It's not that long since David Cameron was pushing that those accused of rape should have anonymity - i.e. be treated differently than those accused of other crimes - which is completely outrageous as it plays to the idea that women are likely to make false allegations. And in the context of those stats, esp the one on burglarly, shows how completely skewed the thinking is. And then there was the Ken Clarke comments, which shows there is this ingrained mindset that needs to be adjusted. I'd like to see politicians, especially male ones, signing up to something meaningful that recognises key facts and figures, and rather than deploring that only 6% of reported rapes end in convictions, actually looks to do something about it.

Sunshinetoast Wed 26-Oct-11 13:38:29

Completely behind this. Very important. There is a good blog post here about different approaches to anti-rape campaigns. As well as speaking to Rape Crisis, EVAW, Women's Aid etc. might also be worth talking to Professor Liz Kelly at London Metrepolitan University (academic expert and activist)

slug Wed 26-Oct-11 13:41:56

The focus should be on men. At the moment all rape prevention work centres around avoidance tactics for women. However well meaning, this is at best high level victim blaming.

Men are the rapists therefore men should be at the centre of rape prevention activities.

MonstrouslyNarkyPuffin Wed 26-Oct-11 13:45:48

I think the 'I believe you' idea is brilliant. Attacking the myth that malicious allegations are common it a great idea.

The idea of rape as something that happens when men lurking in dark alleys and attack women walking alone is one worth addressing. Because it makes people view rapists as monsters (which is true) and therefore the man who lives over the road or the man who works in accounting or your DH's friend couldn't possibly be rapists (which unfortunately isn't true) because they're normal decent human beings.

Something like a tv ad of eg the typical woman walking down dark alley scenario in work clothes, heels clicking, looking nervous, making it home and turning her key in the door, to be confronted by an abusive partner. Or someone outside a work do avoiding unmarked cabs to get a lift home with a male co-worker who pushes to come in to her house to use the toilet.

Or just women's stories that show how common rape is and how common it is not to tell anyone/report it. The women raped by boyfriends and friends of friends, the women in their 60s raped as teens, the women in their 50s raped last year. Basically the fact that rape happens to women of all ages, shapes and sizes, regardless of clothing, the time of day etc.

I do think part of the low conviction rate is the fact that people are unwilling to believe that rape is so common and that rapists aren't all creepy looking men lurking in the shadows. And reporting rates are low because women know that they will have to fight against these attitudes to be believed.

YaMaYaMa Wed 26-Oct-11 13:49:19

A fantastic use of Mumsnet resources. This is vitally important as we seem to be taking steps backwards in some respects to some womens issues.

StewieGriffinsMom Wed 26-Oct-11 13:55:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YaMaYaMa Wed 26-Oct-11 13:58:17

I wish I had people like that on my FB.

SinicalSal Wed 26-Oct-11 14:05:59

Fully support it.

I also think an important area is the teaching of consent/boundaries in pshe at school.
How on earth can that be pushed through as part of the curriculum though. The ones making the decisions are probably accepting of the myths themselves - as we know, most people are.

StewieGriffinsMom Wed 26-Oct-11 14:06:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SinicalSal Wed 26-Oct-11 14:08:06

Love your ad ideas, MonstrouslyNarkyPuffin

MonstrouslyNarkyPuffin Wed 26-Oct-11 14:09:51

It was on a different thread and I wasn't sure if it was what you were looking for, but I would definitely support a campaign addressing how schools deal with sexual assault/harrassment. Abusive language eg slut, unwanted sexual touching/groping etc can be very common in secondary schools. All schools should have a zero tolerance approach to this and be able to show that they actively seek reports of such behaviour.

If you want to deal with rape, getting boys and girls to realise that girls/women have the right to exist without being treated like this is important. Their bodies aren't public property and it's not up to them to avoid being vunerable.

florriesdragon Wed 26-Oct-11 14:14:34

MNHQ , I'm perfectly happy for you to use my rape (if you need to) as an example of what is wrong with the current victim-blaming campaigns.
I've posted it in full on the two threads in the OP, but basically I'm in South Wales and the "dont get drunk" posters were a large factor in why I didnt report it.

KRITIQ Wed 26-Oct-11 14:14:47

I like the "I Believe You" theme, and do take the point that it is still "speaking" to women who've been raped, primarily.

However, the same "I Believe You" could also be voiced by a man - as in "I Believe You" when you say you don't want to have sex/do that/carry on, etc. - and I will stop.

Does that make sense?

MonstrouslyNarkyPuffin Wed 26-Oct-11 14:20:12

I want to stuff that poster down the throats of all the fuckwits that came up with it on your behalf FlorriesDragon.

KRITIQ Wed 26-Oct-11 14:51:48

Oh florrie, how ghastly. I think the posters must have come out just after I moved from South Wales - used to do some work with SW police and wonder wtaf they were thinking!

lubbermummy Wed 26-Oct-11 15:58:56

Adding my full support for this campaign and its two pronged approach.

a great idea!

sproooOOoogger Wed 26-Oct-11 16:40:13

I fully support this campaign and think "I Believe You" and the anti-rape myth approaches are extremely valuable.

Thanks SGM for raising the idea.

KatieMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 26-Oct-11 16:49:42

Hi Everyone

Thanks for all your comments and support, thanks in particular to florriesdragon for such an amazing offer, really generous and brave of you to say we can use your experience.

KateMumset (subtly, but ohhh so importantly a different person to me) will now get on to the different orgs to see if how/ when we can get involved, and if they can use a survey from us. We'll also set up a thread re PSHE v. soon and of course let you know how we progress.

CatherineMacauley Wed 26-Oct-11 17:34:08

I'm so pleased that MN are going to do this.

WilsonFrickett Wed 26-Oct-11 17:46:46

I'm in and I think I believe you is great.

StewieGriffinsMom Wed 26-Oct-11 18:05:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WilsonFrickett Wed 26-Oct-11 18:11:07

I think the PHSE is a good idea too as well as resources parents can use - I'd really welcome something to help me broach these subjects with DS.

Also wanted to add I'm a copywriter and willing to offer my skills up to help in any way I can.

AlwaysWild Wed 26-Oct-11 19:37:31

Thanks MNHQ thanks

This is such good news. Thanks MNHQ.

Totally agree with NarkyPuffin about targetting schools and zero tolerance of sexism and sexual assault there.

AyeDunnoReally Thu 27-Oct-11 09:01:27

SGM, you're a star. And thank you, MNHQ.

Shall get my thinking cap on for what specifics I can offer, but in the meantime, just shout if I can help in any way.

Wooooooooooooooppity Thu 27-Oct-11 19:02:21

We really need to tackle schools don't we. FGS, schools are still promoting rape myths - anyone heard about that Kent headteacher who wrote some letter or other saying that girls were put "at risk" by wearing short skirts? I mean, if headteachers are telling girls that they're responsible for rape because of waht they're wearing, what hope is there?

link to petition here

Slimenoseros Thu 27-Oct-11 21:22:49

thanks Stewiegriffinsmom for pointing me in the direction of this thread, I support it and I am looking forward to see what comes of it thanks I never told anyone what happened to me as a child simply because I did not think I would be believed.

StewieGriffinsMom Thu 27-Oct-11 21:24:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StewieGriffinsMom Fri 28-Oct-11 07:33:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KateMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 31-Oct-11 10:15:34

Thanks SGM - that's great. Hope to come back soon with an update on where we're at with the other organisations.

RowanMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 30-Nov-11 21:35:58

Hello

No exciting news (yet, we do hope to have something for you soon), but in the meantime, we wanted to let you know about the results of our sex education survey, which includes a question about sexual violence and bullying in the context of the SRE curriculum.

Thanks,
MNHQ

itsTwiiiiiiiiiiitmaaaaaaasss Tue 06-Dec-11 13:05:45

Some-one mentioned a website started by a MNer, I think this thread is about it
here
Totally for 'I believe you'

smallnotfaraway Tue 10-Jan-12 11:57:57

I'm not sure if this is the best place to post this to get enough views and signatures. It's a petition to get a SARC (Sexual Assault Referral Centre) in Every Town With a Population over 120,000. This is the link to the petition - there are currently only 843 signatures and it needs 100,000 for it to be discussed in parliament. They are listed as 'SARC in more Towns' on Facebook if you need further information or insight into the campaign.

KatieMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 15-Feb-12 15:48:12

Hi everyone

So, we've been putting a bit of thought into the campaign and how we can help and are planning on making the campaign live in mid March. Before this we'll get on with the survey, asking for Mumsnetters experiences, and working on a press release to raise the profile of the campaign - and hopefully tackling a few myths.

KateMumsnet's been collaborating with Rape Crisis and the End Violence Against Women coalition, and we're hoping to host a webchat during the course of the week.

Before we start finalising detail though, we really need your help.
1. The title of the campaign - 'I believe you' - I know was really strongly supported on here (and is popular with us too). But after a bit of discussion in the office, we were wondering if 'we believe you' is more effective - showing the collective effect of our campaign, and emphasising that we're not just lone voices supporting individuals? It would be good to have your thoughts.

2. Dispelling myths. What are the 5 most important myths to dispel (rape is usually by a stranger, victims are usually to blame) - suggestions really appreciated - we'll then source the best facts to prove them wrong.

And as ever - do let us know any other thoughts.

MNHQ

JosephineB Fri 17-Feb-12 17:18:49

What are the 5 most important myths to dispel

My thoughts:

That a victims sexual history is relevant
That a victims clothing is related to risk (and in particular the highly offensive 'analogy' that is always made with theft eg it's like walking around a bad part of town with money hanging out your pocket)
That the rate of false allegations is high
That there are degrees of rape
That is a woman has been drinking she only has herself to blame

JosephineB Fri 17-Feb-12 17:26:04

That should have been That if a woman has been drinking she only has herself to blame
blush

KatieMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 20-Feb-12 16:47:19

Thanks JosephineB - great suggestions. I've just started a new thread - so we can get straight to the point here any chance you could repost?

Sorry to be a pain!

Thanks x

JosephineB Tue 21-Feb-12 13:51:06

Done!

Flower60 Wed 22-Feb-12 18:47:20

Boys in my daughter's catholic secondary regularly simulate masturbation in the classroom. They are 12/13 years old.

We have informed the school and the police believing that this behaviour is an offence and would be dealt with the same as sexual harrassment in the workplace and staffroom of the school.

The school want to deal with this 'in-house' but are totally ineffective and even told the boys which girl had complained.

There is evidence stating that many adult sexual offenders have demonstrated inappropriate sexual behaviour as children and I believe your campaign should be extended to include schools, both primary and secondary, to insist that inappropriate sexual behaviour is reported to the police and that persistent repeat behaviour results in exclusion.

Comments appreciated.

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