Twins!

(99 Posts)
HystericalParoxysm Mon 10-Jun-13 22:08:50

Had an 8 week scan today and discovered I'm expecting non ID twins blush
I sort of expected it but it still feels surreal. Explains the sickness and the fatness though!
They will be babies 3 and 4 for me. Do you get different antenatal care with fraternal twins?

Wow congratulations!! How did you suspect it was

HystericalParoxysm Mon 10-Jun-13 22:19:15

Really bad all day sickness, jeans too tight already, so incredibly tired, all more pronounced symptoms than in my other pregnancies. And just a gut feeling I guess. Now worried about losing one or both of them but also how I am going to cope with 4!

andadietcoke Mon 10-Jun-13 22:30:54

Hi, congratulations! I have dcda twins - am 27w. I started seeing the consultant at the hospital at 12w, and had scans at 12 and 20 weeks, with the next ones booked for 28, 32 and 36 weeks. Have seen the consultant and the mw at the hospital every 4 weeks so far - haven't seen 'my' midwife since 16w. Bloods at 20w and 28w, 5mg folic acid and iron tablets from 20w. Think that's everything, but this is my first pregnancy so I don't know how it compares to a singleton pregnancy.

MultipleMama Mon 10-Jun-13 22:57:30

You should be referred to consultant-led care not midwife as it's a high risk pregnancy. You will still see a midwife though. And have more scans. I have scans every 2 weeks - well daily, as I'm having complications. My first set were ID and had a higher risk.

harrygracejessica Tue 11-Jun-13 07:04:13

It'll be consultant led care and for non identical a will be scanned every 4 weeks :-)

Please don't take it for definate they are non identical though as identicals can be in 2 sacs and 2 placentas :-)

HystericalParoxysm Tue 11-Jun-13 07:31:57

Harry - I discovered that whilst Googling last night, I never knew that fraternal twins could also be identical!
I am already a high risk pregnancy due to my medical conditions so would always have been consultant led. Thank you for all your replies. Is there anything else I should know about twins/twin pregnancies?

Congratulations, my non ID twins are nearly 8 months old. You will be scanned every 4 weeks from 20 weeks onward.

andadietcoke Tue 11-Jun-13 17:42:30

Think it depends on the hospital re scans every 4w - despite the NICE guidelines recommending this I haven't been scanned between 20 and 28w and neither have other dcda pregnant people I've come across.

ClairesTravellingCircus Tue 11-Jun-13 17:50:26

Congratulations!
My twins were also no3&4! I was in total shock for weeks.

How old are your other dc?

Mine are old enough to be of great help, luckily.

HystericalParoxysm Tue 11-Jun-13 19:59:05

My others are 5 (with SN so more like a 1 year old) and 3. I am now worried about vanishing twin syndrome and that there will only be 1 baby (or even none?) at the next scan. Does anyone know what the stats are for this? Tempted to just take to my bed for the next 7 months...

andadietcoke Tue 11-Jun-13 21:52:33

I was the same! I wanted to hibernate. In fact, I still do. After seeing two heartbeats the risk of vanishing twin goes down massively. I ended up having a private scan at 10w because I was so worried about it.

CrabAppleTree Tue 11-Jun-13 21:57:09

Hello OP
I am in the same boat - I have a 5 y/o and a 2 y/o and found out this evening that I am 10 weeks preg with non ID twins
Can't really take it in.
And yes it's 3 and 4 for me
Claire = what is your life like?!?
I am total shock.

HystericalParoxysm Tue 11-Jun-13 22:10:07

Crab - can we cling to each other for support please?! 4 under 6 is exciting but terrifying grin

harrygracejessica Tue 11-Jun-13 22:18:40

My twins were number 2and 3 and then 4 and 5 as we have 2 sets :-)

Franykins Wed 12-Jun-13 12:13:00

How do you all know they are non ID twins? I was told mine are non ID too but have since found out from on here and reading online that actually they can be ID even if they have own placentas and own sacs. All depends on when the egg split if they are ID. If it splits within the first two days (I think) of conception they will be ID but with their own placentas and sacs.

HystericalParoxysm Wed 12-Jun-13 12:17:09

Yes, Frany, I put non ID in my OP through ignorance! Mine are DCDA but I have since learnt that 1/3 of ID twins are this type. It'll be fun to find out!

ClairesTravellingCircus Wed 12-Jun-13 13:04:58

CrabAppleTree

let's say that life has got very interesting! wink

JOkes aside, it is VERY intense, financially crippling, and physically draining, but when my odler two play with the twins (now 16 months) and make them giggle it is absolutely lovely.

And dd1 is so very proud of her large family, we live in a country where more than 2 kids is a rarity and she enjoys all the attention (can't say the same for myself, but you get used to it).

Congrats! flowers

CrabAppleTree Wed 12-Jun-13 14:45:24

Claires now I see where your user name comes from. !
I am worried about the ££ side of things - we do have most things and have family who will help with hand me downs for car seats etc - but I thinking things like Swimming lessons (and for that matter how I am ever going to get the older ones to extra curricular activies )

My sister had a nice idea that each of our other DC will have a twin each to play with whcih is sweet.

I am just learning about Id/Non Id and how twins work
SO much to think about, I think my brain might burst.

Hysterical = absolutely let's cling to each other.
x

Franykins Wed 12-Jun-13 15:39:50

HystericalParoxysm Hehe I did the same when I started a thread about my DCDA twins, currently 15+5 and ended up being rather well informed and then did some more research. I can't wait till they are here to find out smile

We found out at our 12 week scan and are so excited grin

CrabAppleTree Wed 12-Jun-13 15:50:28

Apologies franykins you are not so far ahead of us, how are you feeling? (not reading properly, actually not doing much properly today, still in a complete daze)

Been thinking about the hospital we had booked in with (I was hoping for a home birth but guessing thats out of the picture) and now wondering if I should change so want to make a new appt so we can get 12 wk scans done at the right hospital.

Also thinking about what we're going to do for a car.

When we are going to "go public" on things?

I didn't even know there was such a thing as Vanishing Twin syndrome. I spend a fair amount of time lurking on MN, (have n/c for this) and hadn't seen it

SO many more things to worry about.

But also can't stop grinning!

PS Apologies for the kiss = that's a bit overfamiliar at this stage, have been texting those who do know madly and was on text mode (!)

Franykins Wed 12-Jun-13 16:05:06

CrabAppleTree haha a kiss is always friendly and welcome smile

To be honest I've sailed through so far blush had no idea it was twins before the scan as only been sick 5 times in total! Had cramping and sore boobs to begin with but they have pretty much sorted themselves out now (although already a cup size bigger) I'm now in the stage of not feeling pg other than the bump and the very odd fluttering. But all is well as at our first consultant app on Monday we heard their heartbeats for the first time and one was having a party in there!

I know what you mean about cars, we have to now get a 7 seater as DP has two sons from a previous relationship and we have them week on week off. Also the house is now far too small! We have a 2 bed and the boys share as it is, we thought we would have time to move before falling pg but fell in the second month of trying (thought it would take ages as had been on the pill for almost 16 years) Needless to say was a bit of a (very) happy shock.

I originally wanted a diff hospital but now finding out its twins the one I've been booked into is the best option for us as it has a on site special care baby unit so I'm going to stay put now.

I told close family and friends I was pg at about 6 weeks, just people that could support me if anything went wrong, but we told the boys after the 12 week scan and then made it public. Mind you I wouldn't be able to hide it now as to be honest I look about 5 1/2 months at least.

I can't stop grinning either grin

x wink

(sorry for the essay!!!)

harrygracejessica Wed 12-Jun-13 22:58:04

Regarding swimming etc, that's one activity I refuse to not pay for, my eldest 3 (single and twins) have just started at £60 a month then the little twins will need to learn but one of them will need separate lessons as has epilepsy and its not controlled so ill pay for private lessons with those twins together so I think it'll be about £120 a month on swimming.

It is hard at the beginning but you will find little things which help you and a routine which suits your family.

Testing whether identical etc is called zygosity testing and is £80 through the multiple birth foundation :-)

elisio1 Thu 13-Jun-13 12:12:50

Hi crabappletree and Hystericalparoxysm and Franykins

I'm in your position 20 weeks on. I posted back in Jan when I too found out I was having twins (with almost 3 and 5 year old boys already) and was absolutely shocked and daunted.

I can't report on the reality of life with 2 plus twins as I'm still pregnant - 36 weeks. But I can report on the pregnancy. Mine are fraternal twins, and I have had no problems with the pregnancy at all, so please be reassured on that front (as there are a lot of horror stories out there). I am still very mobile, able to take my boys to pre-school, attend pre-school functions, toddler groups etc and have no problems sleeping! I did get very anaemic at one point, but plenty of people do in any pregnancy, and of course iron sorts that out pretty much straight away.

My twins have had no problems so far and have only been having extra 2 week scans from 30 weeks - up until then, nothing extra to singleton pregnancy. They are currently both lying transverse, so elective c-section is probably on the cards in a few weeks' time.

To be honest, I have struggled more psychologically with the whole thing. I say this not to sound negative but to just say you're not alone if you're feeling scared and daunted by the prospect of 4 under 5/6.

I did get very low for a few weeks around half way through wondering how I would cope, whether I would continue to enjoy motherhood etc, but feel quite a few notches better now, still daunted, but in a more normal way iykwim. If you do find you are feeling similarly, go to your GP. Mine has been brilliant, and there are quite a few support systems you can be plugged into. Homestart is also a great place to contact- they offer volunteers experienced with young children who come into your home 4 hours a week to help out.

There are some lovely mums on here in our situation (but several years down the line) who have been helpful and reassuring. Sokmonsta and Threebeeonegee, I hope you don't mind me mentioning you- as you have both sent me very helpful messages.

I have also found it helpful to talk to families of 4 in our area (there are still some around, even in this age of 2.4 children!), so maybe you could do the same?

In the meantime, good luck with your pregnancies and get very good at accepting help from anyone who offers!

beachesandbuckets Thu 13-Jun-13 22:04:44

Another one here, 30 weeks pregnant with non identical twins (I think) and a (just) 5 year old and a 2 year old. Name changed, used to be Holidays.
Pregnancy so far has been completely straightforward (touch wood) and I even hosted a party for my ds the other week - 35 four and five year olds!!!
Still working and plan to til I drop - for financial reasons as quite worried in this regard.
Shortly off to buy car - ford galaxy has been recommended to me as its a 7 seater and they seem to come in quite cheap.
Since 28 weeks, I have been scanned every fortnight (even though no problems with the babies), this must be my hospitals policy. Consultant won't discuss birth options with me until nearer the birth day, one is pointing downwards, one is transverse. Am slightly worried about this as my ds came in 6 hours, dd came in 20 mins and don't want to get caught short delivering twins anywhere other than a hospital.
Been on a steep learning curve, so any questions please ask! Am quite excited really tho know its going to be incredibly hard work.
Good luck x

elisio1 Fri 14-Jun-13 09:01:44

Hello beachesandbuckets, glad you're still hanging in there! Hope your twins turn so that you are able to at least consider a natural delivery. I had scan yesterday and , since both of mine are transverse, am booked in for C-section next week. Eek. It has all felt so surreal up until now, but now have to face reality!

Do you know what gender your twins are? Mine are b/g and my older son is desperate to meet his sister twin but is rather dismissive of the other! Hopefully DS2 will look after him!

Glad you're getting excited. I am feeling better about the whole situation but still slightly terrified about how much life is going to change!

We're getting a Ford Galaxy too! Neighbours with 3 older kids have one and swear by it.

Keep me posted..

Franykins Fri 14-Jun-13 09:22:26

We've been looking at the Renault Espace Grand, even with the 7 proper seats it has amazing boot space for all we could need. Found some decent priced ones out there.

Have my first midwife app today since finding out its twins, rather excited smile

beachesandbuckets Sat 15-Jun-13 20:55:19

Eliso, nice to speak again. 2 girls here, my poor ds (the eldest) is going to have 3 YOUNGER SISTERS, poor lad. Both are very excited and have named them, but we are yet to think of names.
Husband still not come around to idea, which is going to be hard for me if he doesn't change his mind.
Good luck for next week, let's pm if you fancy?
Franykins, I had a Renault, sorry to say it was extremely unreliable even though relatively new.

putthecrispsDOWN Sun 16-Jun-13 20:57:57

Hello all...can I join? I'm 12ish weeks pregnant with twins (ivf so not ID twins). These will be numbers 2 and 3...Dd is 3 and will be almost 4when they are born. Am somewhere in between ecstatic and terrified. Everyone who finds out keeps talking about how we won't cope/have enough room/it will upset our daughter. We are much more positive than this...are we being naive?!

Plus have you guys looked into folic acid? At 9weeks I was told I should have been taking 5,pmg each day up until 12 weeks (although other people have been told different). Worth asking your mw if you are early on I think.

CrabAppleTree Sun 16-Jun-13 23:15:21

I am on a "due in Jan" thread but those ladies takl so much and I can't keep up - this thread has been a saviour for me since Tuesday night - thank you all

Elisio = wow - I BET it all feels real - please (when you have a chance) will you come back and tell us all how it goes. Thanks for your kind words.

Welcome Puthecrispsdown sorry you have had some negativity. We are daunted but mostly positive and feeling blessed and excited.

Franykins - car-wise we think we're looking at a Seat Alhambra but its early days. And since i am due round Xmas I am worried about snow (which we have had the last few years) and not giving up our 4x4 until we have safely got to hospital!

Have told a few more people over the w/e (yet to tell my work yet though)
Have booked another m/w appt to bring my official 12 week scan further and to allow them to give me more time to check both babies etc

Franykins Mon 17-Jun-13 09:46:27

beachesandbuckets thanks for the heads up, its just the massive boot space even with all 7 seats in that appeals. We have also been looking at the Seat CrabAppleTree and its looking good. Just need to get some test driving in I guess. Waiting for DP's car to sell and my PPI payment to come in (good timing!) then we can get looking. I am gonna miss my BMW coupe though, although DP is having this so I will still get to drive it wink

Its official, at 16+3 I am massive!!!! Went to a concert on sat night and some stranger in the toilet cue said I should use the disabled one rather than cueing as I can't have long left, I just said no I'm ok waiting (hello pregnant not disabled) and actually I'm not due until November but its twins. The shock on her face was so funny but made me feel MASSIVE sad I admit I look about 25 weeks probably(maybe more?!?!?!) but did have a bit of 'padding' to begin with blush Oh well I'm loving my bump hehe.

putthecrispsDOWN Mon 17-Jun-13 17:56:38

Thanks crabapple. I'm due 4 January so probably at a similar stage to you. frany I am also huge at only 12weeks! I teach and am getting lots of funny looks from the kids who I haven't told yet!

rednellie Tue 18-Jun-13 14:56:36

Crabapple, apologies for darting on, but I thought you might want to know there was an article in the most recent Tamba magazine about a twin home birth...it is possible!

My DD was 2 when our boys were born, it's been hard, and joyous, and hard, and amazing, and quite stressful, but lovely. smile But you can all do it, you will do it and you'll be rewarded by having the joy of multiples. Also, you will get to moan more than anyone else. wink

We've got a VW touran and it's fab. Totally reliable, room for 3 car seats in a row, so we took the two back seats out to have a giant boot. Kept one car seat in our garage and the other down at my parents so if we ever have to have another adult in the car we can.

And I can't remember who's got the breech twin/s. Mine were breech right up till 36 weeks then spent the next two weeks turning all the time, they were both head down on my last appointment at 37.6weeks. And my OB was willing to attempt a double breech birth because of my previous pregnancy/labour, her skills and the fact the pregnancy was healthy and good. We didn't need her skills in the end, but it's good to look at options, because they are there. And your pregnancy is higher risk, not necessarily high risk if you and the babies are well. It's easy to get terrified with multiples, but it's good to keep the facts straight and not get too stressed. HTH!

Congratulations to all the twin ladies on here. Am in slightly different position as I am a survivor with 15 month old twins and a 19 year old.Modern families, huh...

Am cutting and pasting a blog post I did for people who've just seen two little hearts on the scans. If you want to read more look up likepeasinapod.com/. There are some more posts on the actual birth story with some bits about your rights as a multiple Mum (v important, there are new NICE guidelines, swot up on them, they're there for a reason but your midwife might not be aware). And then 'Of Cabbages and Slings' is about stuff to buy (and not).

Single most important bit of advice? NEVER HAVE SEX AGAIN!!! Seriously. A combination of age plus the fact my body has obviously decided to start firing out multiple eggs meant the docs said my chance of any subsequent pregnancy being two OR MORE was 90%!!!!!!!

**

So, you’re expecting twins! Congratulations! Just steel yourself for the fact that most people’s first words won’t be ‘congratulations’, they’ll be distinctly unhelpful sharp drawings in of breath or ‘sh*t’…

Get some flyers printed immediately to hand out to the zillion people who stop you in the street with a tailored version of:

- Yes, they’re twins
- No, they’re not identical. You can tell that really by looking, can’t you.
- No, they’re both girls. The dresses are a bit of a giveaway.
- No, we didn’t do IVF. And actually that’s a bit cheeky.
- No, we don’t have ‘an evil one’, thank you very much, you strange old lady you..

Be prepared to become a bit of a local celebrity. Every baby is special but people are peculiarly fascinated with twins. Sometimes that’s lovely – that strangers share your wonder. But sometimes you can feel like you’ve given birth to bearded ladies.

Buy shares in muslin factories. Not muslim factories. That’s quite another matter (though probably very successful in their own right I’m sure). Baby books recommend a layette of 6. I bought 12 initially. And then another 12 on Amazon within a few days of them being born. I think we now have 72 but we still frequently seem precariously close to running out. And you can always use them to make jam with all the spare time you have on maternity leave. JOKE!

Having twins is a bit of a numbers game. Two of them. Doubling up on some things; buying extra large for others. But those numbers apply to much more than just Stuff. Acquaint yourself with all the numbers as that way you’ll be prepared for the worst (but hopefully what happens will be the best). If you work, assume that you will have to go on maternity leave much sooner than a singleton, and have this conversation early doors with HR. 60% of twins are born before 34 weeks. You have much more frequent prenatal hospital appointments (weekly scans and consultations towards the end, even more so if you’re at risk of twin to twin transfusion). Plus, given we’re not designed to carry two, pregnancy can (not always) be much harder. I was in agony with a split pelvis, broken ribs (from the inside), and could hardly walk from about 7 months. In hindsight, I worked far too long. I remember one meeting where I literally had to present while lying on the floor. Commuting was horrendous (I had one woman refuse to give up her seat because I didn’t have a ‘baby on board’ badge, despite being the size of the Olympic Park). You just end up in a hideous guilt trip: that you’re not doing your job properly, and that you’re not taking care of the little beans/yourself.

Do not, on any account, move house at 7 months. Even if you live in a shoebox. Frankly, most twins could fit in an actual one. I was in constant white-faced panic that I’d go into labour pre- or mid- move. So much so I may well have done. And then you’re just this big lumbering whale when it comes to carrying and unpacking boxes.

Make sure everything’s ready – nursery set up, hospital bags packed, you’re off work, and nothing major is happening – by about 28 weeks. Which hopefully then gives you 10 weeks (most hospitals induce twins at 38 weeks if they haven’t come out already) to slob on the sofa, eat cake, consider trying out the kids’ potty because you can’t face the stairs to the bathroom, and watch that Borgen box set you never got round to.

This also impacts on Dad. If there is any way whatsoever he can get more than the standard two weeks’ paternity leave, try. Otherwise that may all get used up while you’re still in hospital. You really need him at home with you. Especially if, as happens with most multiples, you’ve had a Caeserean. Do not under any circumstances do what we did and agree that, within 10 days of you coming home, he can work 400 miles away from home and weekly commute. You will go pop; I did.

You may be as proud as a Queen, and as poor as a church mouse, but GET HELP. If you can afford it, try to get a maternity nurse. They’re an extra pair of hands, help your confidence levels and, most importantly, their job is to leave you with the twins in A Routine (more anon). If you can’t afford it, humble that pride and ask all the friends and family who would be spending money on endless cute outfits that they’ll grow out of in a week to subsidise her instead. Lots of people will offer practical help too; take them up on it. Don’t have ‘I’m fine’ as the default, and wrong, answer to any requests. Draw up a list of what would be helpful so people can be assigned tasks. For example my MIL was brilliant at cooking lots of family meals and bringing them round.

And then invest in outside help afterwards too. You CAN look after twins yourself, and run the house/shopping/cooking/cleaning/look after other children/occasionally brush your teeth. You can. But don’t. None of you will be happy. Remember – you are their world. If you’re on the verge of a breakdown, that’s not a nice world for them to be in.

I’ve sometimes felt guilty about having help. After all, lots of people have more than one child, and cope perfectly well. But, by definition, in ‘normal’ situations one child is older, and more biddable. There are lots of practical issues about having two small babies (just try the wartime mission that is bathing two of them safely on your own) but also emotional ones too which are, in many ways, just as hard. When people say ‘double trouble’ to me I say, no, it’s DIFFERENT trouble. After all, if you’re making up one portion of cheesey tuna pasta, there’s no problem in making two.

What I have found hardest of all is when they’re both upset, and the dreadful Sophie’s Choice of deciding which baby to comfort. And also the fact that you can’t do any of that delicious basking in your baby’s wonderfulness. Lying with one of them on your bed and gazing into each other’s eyes. Getting to know them as their own little person. Proper one-on-one play. Having someone to help out means you can whisk one twin off and spend a lovely half hour with them. Just them. So they grow to know that they’re one whole person, not just half a set of twins. Otherwise life with twins can become very mechanical; make sure you have space for some joy.

On which note, the numbers are also stark when it comes to post natal depression. Assume you will get it, and make sure you, and Dad, know the warning signs. Officially it stands at 36% for Mums of multiples; TAMBA (and other twin Mums) put it much higher. It’s no surprise – a devastating cocktail of double the hormones, probable hospitalisation, an EMCS, fatigue, the physical drain of breastfeeding two, the sheer logistical difficulty of it all, probably not eating properly, being even more housebound than most new Mums (even in London there were loads of shops I couldn’t get into with a double buggy, public transport is a no-no, plus it’s just so much effort in the early days to get them ready and out the house when you’re shattered and most things are a mouseclick away)…The wonderful news is that it’s completely treatable. Your brain’s been chemically altered; medicine can alter it back again. Do that early. There are no prizes for struggling through and your twins will suffer as a result.

So, The Routine. Get one. I got Gina Ford’s book and whilst not following her (often slightly crazy) advice to the letter, I DID follow her timetables. Feeding/putting down one baby on demand is masochistic enough; doing it with two, who may well have very different demands, is practically suicidal. It means the first few weeks will be hard. I remember sitting on the steps outside their nursery sobbing as I listened to theirs. But it means we’ve had babies who sleep 7pm to 7am from about 2 months. And it’s amazing how rosier the world looks when you’ve had a proper sleep. Their milk and meal times and their naps are not just set in stone; they’ve been laser drilled into it and I breathe fire on anyone who tries to alter it by a minute.

Talking to other twin devotees of The Routine about this it may explain why a lot of twins, contrary to the ‘double trouble’ prediction are actually quite calm and amenable babies. They know what’s going to happen, when. Positively Pavlovian. You put them in their cot and they’re straight in with the thumb and up with the teddy because that’s Just What Happens. To such an extent, a friend of ours can’t leave hers at the nursery all day because even at aged three they’re expecting their lunchtime nap!

I’ve written extensively in the post Of Cabbages and Slings (http://tinyurl.com/cple2en) about what products to buy, and not buy. Get Bumbos early. They’re brilliantly handy when it comes to bottle feeding two little people at the same time. Get highchairs early too. Buy cot mattresses, buggies and car seats new; buy everything else secondhand. It’s crazy buying new for a tadpole who, if they kept growing at the same rate as they do in their first two years, would be a 29 feet tall frog by the time they’re ten. Especially when you have two. Learn to love a BOGOFF. On no account actually visit a supermarket (none of the twin buggies have a big enough tray for shopping anyway); do it all online and bulk buy. Become an eBay powerseller/buyer. I’m operating a two out, two in policy ie I don’t buy any new clothes till I’ve sold what they have.

If you’re going to attempt breastfeeding a) get as much help as you can in hospital b) buy nipple shields and Jellonet beforehand (it’s like gauze impregnated with Vaseline, used for burns and wounds, and you can wear it in between feeds). The problem is with two that you can never rest one boob, so for the first week or so it can be tear-inducing agony in the small hours. And don’t beat yourself up if you can’t. We’re not meant to.

If you’re not on it already, switch to the cheapest dual fuel tariff with heavy usage you can find. Assume that the tumbledrier will be on twice a day, you’ll have the heating on all day for them and you, microwaves and kettles will be on all the time (also get another kettle especially for bottles as it is The Single Most Annoying Thing In The World when you’ve got water to the perfect temperature for milk and someone decides to make a cup of tea).

Tea. Resign yourself to never having a hot cup thereof again. Or buy a thermos.

Stock the freezer with ready meals and hang onto every takeaway menu that plops through the door. You ain’t going nowhere, honey. And if you’re breastfeeding you can star in your own series of Woman vs Food. Guilt-free gorging. In fact, treat the whole thing just like Christmas; cook in advance, both literally and figuratively. Assume you will have no time as soon as they’re born so, heck, you may as well write their wedding speeches now.

I’ve also written at great length (takes almost as long to read as the birth itself!) about our experience with hospitals and twins in Bumblers, Beeyatches and Bonny Babes (http://tinyurl.com/d78w2yg). Essentially, assume that you’ll be surrounded by the incompetent and mean-spirited, swat up on your rights, and be ready to go into battle for your babies, and you. Scroll down to the end of the birth story post for all my recommendations.

Find other local twin Mums. Twinsclubuk and TAMBA should have lists of local clubs. Go and meet them beforehand to get some tips and make friends so you have someone to call and ask all the endless ‘how the blazes’ questions.

Borrow two large and heavy dolls from a small child and practise how you will lift two babies safely, how you’ll manage getting them both into the bathroom, undressed, into the bath, not drowned, out of the bath, dressed and downstairs…and how you’ll get them both onto the sofa, then onto the breastfeeding cushion, positioned, and then off again. Or if you’re bottle feeding, how you can prop one up in the corner of the sofa and one in your arm, one handed. There are some useful clips on Youtube to help!

Tell everyone in good time that you don’t want to do the matchy matchy look with twins (unless you do!)

If you have high maintenance hair, start growing it out. You may just manage to visit a hairdresser once a year to get your fringe cut.

Never ever let onto your partner in the early days that you sometimes get them confused too! Even if they’re not identical, babies (whisper this) all look pretty similar when they’re wee. Find a secret sign to distinguish them (Romilly had a frilly top to her ear).

Keep a chart each day which sets out how long each has drunk, from which boob (TMI men but you often have a less efficient boob), and what’s come out the other end, and when. This helps avoid the nightmare one triplet Mum told me about when she realised she’d fed one of them three times and one of them had had nothing!!! The chart can then be modified to include what they’ve eaten too.

Lower your expectations. Your house may have been featured in Elle Deco; your dinner parties rivalled Nigella. Just getting through each day, one day at a time, with twins should earn you admiration enough from your family, friends and the world at large.

But finally, feel blessed. I talked about numbers at the beginning. The incidence of twins is very low (we think it’s higher than it is because we tend to notice them more, because of their specialness). You have two little miracles in your tummy; you are a latterday Mary! ‘Normals’ don’t get the heartstopping wonderfulness of watching two mites snuggled up in the same Moses basket sucking each other’s thumbs. One year on, mine have just worked out that they can tickle each other too . Endless hilarity. I honestly think if the airline sit us together next month then the three hours to Portugal can be spent perfectly amusingly if I just take their socks off.

Oh, and very last finally – never have sex again. Unless you’re mad. I was told my chance of any subsequent pregnancy being twins – or MORE! – was 90% based on a combination of age, and the fact my body is obviously deciding to have one last hurrah. No, no, NO!

Most of all, best of British as you head over the trenches. You will survive. It may be double the pooh, in all senses, but it’s very frequently double the joy too. And those moments more than compensate. It also just seems, well, very Alpha Female and efficient; you get a nuclear family in one (very long, very sore) push. So well done you!

I’m very happy to answer anybody’s questions online or over the phone or in person if you’re adding to the Wirral’s paucity of multiples. I have Eccles cakes!

rednellie Tue 18-Jun-13 19:23:32

Hmmm, could've just posted a link to the relevant entry hmm

I've just read your blog post about your birth and you say that you haven't heard a single happy story. Well, you did, mine, when we were both on the antenatal thread. I don't think saying that is particularly helpful. Or true.

rednellie Tue 18-Jun-13 19:28:51

(Apologies Hysterical! Don't want to derail your lovely thread. smile)

And mine. Totally different to rednellies but I had a wonderful elcs birth for my twins, no.2 & 3 for me too, and my eldest was nearly 19 months when they were born.

Seat Alhambra super reliable for us, I love it. I do get out, every day. I don't go to the supermarket, or shopping at all much, but that doesn't bother me. Shoe shopping for the children is about as exciting as it gets for shopping, but parks, throwing stones in rivers, various messy play groups- we're in!

It's hard, and tiring, and the nights are very hard, but I wouldn't change it. I do have a lot of help though. And three very lovely and special children. Good luck all you pregnant twin mums to be!

rednellie Tue 18-Jun-13 20:06:27

Sorry stinking, I've actually just read your mammoth post properly and it has made me a bit cross. Lots of people manage fine without paid help, that is not to diss those who do, that's great if you want it and can afford it. But I wouldn't say those of us who have managed on our own with older DCs have always been on the verge of a nervous breakdown - that is a spectacularly unhelpful thing to say on this thread. And some people really can't afford it. Even if all their friends help. At all. Ever.

Also, you sort of say we're not meant to a) carry or b) breast feed two babies. That's just plainly not true. You may have had a hard pregnancy and lots of us do, but many don't and either way that is not irrefutable proof that our bodies aren't able to carry two babies, or more. And as for the breast feeding, well, what you've written about "WE're not meant to" - that's just bollocks. We've got two breasts. Heck, there are triplet mums on here who've fed theirs almost exclusively, with older DCs and no help and still been ok. The reverse is also true, but to make a sweeping statement like that, well...

I know you are trying to warn/advise/be helpful to new parents of multiples, but some of what you write isn't actually true and you would do better just speaking from your own experience. I think you could write something really meaningful then, rather than writing on behalf of all of us about this complicated thing of having more than one baby in one go.

theboob Tue 18-Jun-13 20:17:30

Hello ! I'm 18+ weeks with b/g twins . These babies will be number 5+6 for me and i also feel awful and ill constantly , hope it passes soon .
We have a nissan serrena with 8 seats so will fit us perfect .

twopeas Tue 18-Jun-13 20:36:01

My tip to the new twin mums to be is to watch out for some of the very nasty twin mothers on here. It tends to be the sleep deprived ones who are the most scathing.

rednellie Tue 18-Jun-13 20:40:58

Are you talking to me twopeas? This is the first time I've ever written anything negative really. I just felt very strongly about some of the stuff stinking had written, especially in the context of this thread. I'm not sure how I've upset you, but I'm sorry if I have.

beachesandbuckets Tue 18-Jun-13 20:51:30

Bishop, your thread was interesting and appreciate the effort that you made to post it, but concerned that - particularly first timers - may take it as gospel. I am 31 weeks with twins and am still managing to work as a lawyer (have to for financial reasons) despite having 2 older dcs and building work at house due to recently discovered problem in walls - no cleaner or help in sight, and coping fine. Will not have any help post birth again due to financial reasons, and a less than enthusiastic dh.

Oooh, I'm a very sleep deprived twin mum. One of mine is indeed the Amazing Non Sleeping Baby, though he's now 14 months grin However, I hope that hasn't made me nasty and scathing. Who exactly are we talking about here? I can certainly vouch that rednellie , while also not exactly well-rested, is neither nasty nor scathing. Not that I can do what she does with her three alone, I'm not that capable wink . There are a lot of supportive twin mums on here though, some of whom have become real life friends to me (& one who lives 15 min away, who'd have thunk it?!) So don't give up on the mn twin mums altogether smile

I did manage to ebf my twins too. Hard work but possible. so if you ignore everything else, I love my Alhambra and had bags of milk for two smile

That might read wrong- clearly I'm meaning rednellie is one of the supportive twin mums here. We've posted together on here since we found out we were pg with twins, so well over a year now, and I've found lovely mn fellow multiple support invaluable

rednellie Tue 18-Jun-13 20:59:23

I'm not sleep deprived dreaming, I've had 5 hrs sleep in a row for the past two weeks. I'm on fire at the mo! wink

Beaches, you are much better at this putting things into words malarky than I!

beachesandbuckets Tue 18-Jun-13 21:08:14

Thanks Red, at the end of the day we are all in the special club of mummies to twins or soon to be, and shld be looking to look out and support each other. Some of the bits in Stinking made my heart drop a little and made me feel a bit apprehensive of what's coming up for me (am 31 weeks), and I wld like to think I am a battle worn mum of two (albeit singletons) already. But her heart is in the right place and there was no malice and will check out her blog.

rednellie Tue 18-Jun-13 21:11:27

I know, you are right of course! I've just got a bit of history which isn't anything to do with anyone else and you are a much better person than me. Sorry everyone!

You and all the other mums to be will do really well - there's no reason why not. I always liked my Mum's advice about things, she'd give it to me straight but with a positive spin. It always made everything seem much more manageable. And I'm still here, doing alright with a 3.5 yr old and 15 month old twins. And we have a laugh, we really do. They are all at such a wonderful age now, I can't get enough of them.

Nancy54 Tue 18-Jun-13 21:34:56

Well just to put my two penny worth in: the sleep deprived twin mums on here have been such a great source of advice and support! They're definitely not nasty!,

And yes it is poss to ebf twins, have a crap routine, have not much help etc without having a nervous breakdown!

Good luck to all of you who are expecting and welcome to this wonderful (if sleep deprived and frazzled) little world!

beachesandbuckets Tue 18-Jun-13 21:39:47

Whilst there are some knowledgeable mummies on here, how many had or are planning a natural birth? My consultant is really pushing it for me, as I have given birth to 2 10lb'ers, the last coming out very quickly, he thinks I shld have no problem with twins, that I am 'made for it' etc. The issue is, one of my twins is lying transverse, I am worried about going into labour really quickly with twins and not being able to get to hospital quick enough or getting the second one out without being deprived of oxygen (a family member suffered this and had been profoundly disabled his whole life). My preference would be a c section for these reasons (I know it isn't a walk in the park option). My consultant is not listening to me. Any thoughts/comments? Ta

rednellie Tue 18-Jun-13 21:49:35

beaches, I can see where your consultant is coming from and I can see how you feel. To be frank, you are more important at this point. I'm a massive natural childbirth advocate - I had all my babies vaginally with no drugs. Not to win prizes, that's just what happened. But I had a hard path with the twins, both were breech up until 36 weeks, I had a total twat of an OB to begin with, changed, had a much nicer one who respected me, my body and my twins and I felt I could face anything with her - whether that was breech birth, c-section, normal delivery, whatever. What was important was I trusted her.

I know other of the twin mums on here opted for c-sections, others like me had vaginal deliveries of one kind of another - what links us all is that our choices were important and valid. If you don't have a HCP in charge of your care who respects that then it might be worth searching around for one who does. HTH

rednellie Tue 18-Jun-13 21:50:11

And c-sections that are planned can be very child and mum friendly. I'm going to find the link to a wonderful video about it. Hold on.

rednellie Tue 18-Jun-13 21:52:49

I had a third degree tear with my firstborn, a 7lb 5oz baby. At 15 weeks pg with ny boys I said to the consultant I wanted an elcs if i got to term. Though I had much wavering, doubting, questioning of this throughout my pregnancy I had my elcs at 37+6 and it was fabulous. Skin to skin with both straight away, better than with my dd because of my haemorraghing with the tearing, much better recovery than first time for me. One consultant was very scathing I wanted elcs and not to try a labour first and "see how it went". He did agree on my elcs, though i chose a different consultant to do it.

beachesandbuckets Tue 18-Jun-13 22:06:43

Thanks both, I think I need to give him a chance first (he is really nice and have confidence in him) and be frank with him at my next check up, and be more forceful in expressing my concerns. Or maybe get my midwide (who I haven't seen much) to give me a second opinion. I have had two natural and no drug births with two huge babies, and don't really care about whether this one is natural or not, as long at they are safe. My own (personal) view is that I am no more bonded with my two dcs (who I also breastfed for over a year each) than if I had been c-sectioned and bottle fed, and post natural labour wasn't a walk in the park either (well, with my first, with my second, she came out so quickly that I didn't break a sweat and could have done a jog in the evening smile ).

rednellie Tue 18-Jun-13 22:44:28

Yeah, give him a chance. But it's always good to know how to know the options, even if you disregard them. Knowing I could plan a 'nice' c-section with my lovely OB made me calm down about everything and then it all changed anyway as the little buggers turned, turned and turned again.

Sorry all, obv that post didn't go down well! It's all written for the right reasons. Lots of people will do splendidly. Some won't - and it's important to feel able to shout I think. I struggled on too long because I is a Muppet.

Anyhows. Sorry again!

Goes off blushing slightly...

rednellie Wed 19-Jun-13 08:20:23

Don't blush stinking, I'm sorry I called you on it. I def think we need a place to vent and it is important to admit when things aren't going right. I think I just got a bit worried about people taking anything as gospel.

We're all struggling along as best we can in our different ways. Good luck to us all I say

DeepRedBetty Wed 19-Jun-13 09:10:15

Congratulations OP and all the rest of us lucky twin mums grin

Re natural birth/c section, I was put under some pressure to have an elc and have done with it. The girls then decided they were coming like it or not at 33+5. I'd only gone onto maternity leave 8 days before and wasn't anywhere near ready - I worked for a tiny mail-order firm, Christmas was always our busiest time, and being a twit I'd agreed to see things through until the middle of January when all the returned gifts were dealt with.

I agreed to have an epidural set up so that a section could be performed quickly if necessary, and I have to admit that losing the pain of contractions was bliss. dtd1 came out head first beautifully, but dtd2 promptly flopped sideways in there. The registrar started to witter about a section, but the midwife, backed up by my birth partner (my mum, far more use than dp) said there was no sign of distress and plenty of time for the consultant to have a shufti. This was where the epidural paid dividends. The manipulation he did to turn dtd2 back to a fore-and-aft position would have been excruciating without anaesthetic! Unfortunately she was now feet first, but we went for it and out she came.

Being small and early meant SCBU for the girls, but I was discharged after 48 hours. Now being reasonably mobile and minus the section wound was really useful. SCBU only had 2 beds for overnighting parents and 31 babies in. Home was 12 miles away. I spent the next three weeks driving up and down, popping out of SCBU between feeds to buy all the stuff I hadn't had time to get. I did however get proper sleeps every night, which helped me recover much faster than most of us are allowed to. Of course we'd have managed somehow if I'd had to have a section, but I'd have had to call in favours left right and centre, favours I was going to need later when they came home. DP being self-employed meant there was no chance of him being able to take serious amounts of time off, we simply couldn't afford it.

Anyway, read up and be ready to argue back at HCPs who are scared of natural birth and multiples. I discovered afterwards that I was the first twin mother to NOT have a section at our hospital for over six months! I think if DP had been present instead of mummy I might have wavered, but she and the midwife seemed to form a good working relationship during my labour. This was fourteen years ago and I sincerely hope the 'if in doubt do a section' mentality is no longer the default, but I fear it might be in some units.

And can I just second the opinions re the Espace. It's a pile of poo. Recommend Galaxy/Sharan/Alhambra (which are effectively all the same car with different badges).

On cars, we've got the Ford SMax. It's been a bit problematic but we think that's more that we've got one of those cars made late on a Friday rather than anything to do with the model, as friends have one and it's fine.

Genuinely comfy sitting between the girls in the back (I am on sick duty as one pukes after a mile, no joke). With the roof rack as well we're able to carry everything for comfort on big journeys including my rather large 19 year old.

Franykins Wed 19-Jun-13 10:09:49

We need a car with what we call 7 'proper' seats as we don't like the idea of DP older boys sitting in the back of a Zafira or the like with the naff fold up seats (sorry to people who have them blush but my sis had one and as an occasional 7 seater it was great but not a full time one) And we still want lots of boot space with all 7 seats up, rather large buggy and all haha. Hence looking at the Renault Espace Grand (but will be telling DP what others have said about them on here) and the Alhambra as they both look like they still have decent boot space and we could easy take one of the rear seats out and have a 6 seater and even more boot space. Having said this DP and I have said that if we do long journeys one of us will sit in the rear so the kids are in the middle of the car - yes probably over reacting but hey ho wink

rednellie Wed 19-Jun-13 10:15:40

Or you could look at a vw transporter. I know it's massive leap psychologically in size but they are.rigging awesome. Can't remember exactly how many seats, I think you can even get one with 9. But you can def have 7 adult proper seats with enough boot space for a giant buggy, sports gear and luggage. I think long term that's what we'll get as crating around teenagers with all their crap I don't think you can beat it.

Franykins Wed 19-Jun-13 11:48:23

Yeah we did have a look at them, but the ones we could find were out of our price range really. I love driving vans though so I would be totally up for one! Great driving position smile

My friend and I had a laugh the other day as she is looking for a new car too - a lovely little vaxhaul tigra convertible, two seats, perfect for her.

HystericalParoxysm Wed 19-Jun-13 13:13:54

I have a transporter, it's great smile

I've got a transporter. It is freakin' AWESOME. I can bump the double Nipper buggy in and out of the back without folding it, which is amazing.
It has a huge dog crate in and there is still loads of room.
We got Maxi cosi seats with the family fix base which made clipping them in and out SO easy.

We also bought an ex-commercial van and retro-fitted the rear windows and seats which brought the price down. Now they are toddlers and there is usually only four of us, we've take out one of the back seats (they're very easy to remove) so its easier to get them in and out of hte middle car seat.

rednellie Wed 19-Jun-13 13:47:15

Oh god I really want a transporter. Lust. I love driving vans and weirdly find them much easier to drive than cars. Also I've suddenly started doubting I've got a touran. I think I've actually got a vw sharan. Anyway, it's still great.

This thread has moved on....grin

Franykins Wed 19-Jun-13 14:49:24

If we could find one in our price range then i'd love one too, a friend - who has twins just under one and is pg again (planned)- has one. Would make life easier space wise.

It has move don hasn't it. But I guess we're all just trying to think practically now smile

HystericalParoxysm Wed 19-Jun-13 15:03:22

Yes now the shock has worn off I'm thinking practicalities grin even my Transporter is going to be a squeeze for us if we are all in it. Luckily I have the world's biggest roofbox which will help when we go away. Now to find a buggy that will fit in without needing the roofbox!

beachesandbuckets Wed 19-Jun-13 20:09:17

We are having the problem of finding time to even look at/or test drive a potential car!! At the worse, we will be driving around in convoy with 2 kids each in the back of our 2 small vauxhall astras if the babies come any time soon! smile

rednellie Wed 19-Jun-13 21:14:55

We had to buy ours in two days beaches, as we moved back from Canada when the boys were 5 months old and realised that we wouldn't be able to leave my parents house until we bought a car. There was a VW touran nearby, it worked, we bought it.

ClairesTravellingCircus Thu 20-Jun-13 06:16:30

That's what we did fir the first two months.
I was put on bed rest at 26 weeks and only "released" at 35. By then I was so huge (and in so much pain from spd) that looking at cars was not my first priority.

We have a Touran, which is nice as a second car, but with 4 kids (and a double buggy) nowhere near enough for holidays!

Dh is supposed to get a seat alhambra as company car (we've bern waiting for 10 monthshmm) which should give us more room for holidays!

Franykins Thu 20-Jun-13 10:28:33

Both DP and I have 3 series BMW's, mine is a coupe so really not practical for babies! However as mine is the better car we are selling his and he will then be having mine while I get the mummy mobile (not sure this is fair wink) Finding the time for anything at moment is hard. We still need to decorate our room and the hallway, we've just been so busy with other stuff - I couldn't tell you what though, things just always crop up. We have his two DS's this week coming (get them back tomorrow) and have football all weekend, plus my dad down to stay, so no time till next weekend really. I am going to get some sample paints over the weekend - I am!

It's my birthday day tomorrow grin 21 again (which really means 31) so at the moment I am just looking forward to all that cake!!!!

harrygracejessica Thu 20-Jun-13 13:49:25

We have a 9 seater tourneo. Love it and would hate to go smaller now.

rednellie Thu 20-Jun-13 14:23:42

Happy birthday Frankykins!

Franykins Thu 20-Jun-13 14:59:16

DP will think I'm going mad if I suggest a 9 seater now (and start worrying I'm planning my next pg already haha)

Thank you rednellie

Franykins Thu 20-Jun-13 15:06:08

DP will think I'm going mad if I suggest a 9 seater now (and start worrying I'm planning my next pg already haha)

Thank you rednellie

elisio1 Thu 20-Jun-13 19:48:18

Interesting to read all the recent stuff about cars and birth options. Think we're going for the Ford Galaxy option, tho' have also had the Chrysler Grand Voyager recommended to me by a 2 young kids plus twins mum. Apparently it has loads of room- easy to put in child seats etc without leaning over the whole time. Not hugely economical to run though.

Re: birth. Beachesandbuckets- I saw your question re natural v c-section and just wanted to add my "twopenceworth"based on my experiences so far.

As I said in my last message, I was supposed to go in for C-section today as both twins transverse. Like you , I have had two straightforward deliveries in the past, so the consultant was keen to scan me one more time today to just to see if natural birth was still an option.
Well, it turns out that twin 1(transverse at 36 weeks) has turned head down at 37 weeks! ( we discovered this after a whole day waiting in hospital, after being prepped for c-section!) so the plan has changed and they are now going to have me in at the weekend and induce me, with the aim of delivering naturally (altho twin 2 still in wrong position. Apparently doesn't matter so much).

So, to answer your original post, some (mine anyway) consultants are keen on aiming for natural births for twin mums who have had previous straightforward deliveries, as you clearly have. And transverse twins can turn at the very last minute, making a natural birth theoretically possible.

Think I'm def going to go for epidural this time - partly because they will have to perform vet style manoeuvres to get twin 2 out by the sounds of things ad in case I end up having emergency c-section after all (and looks as tho' others on this thread had epidurals for twin births too, for similar reasons).

Anyway, great to chat to all the twin mums on here. Makes my situation with 2 plus twins feel almost normal! In RL , have only met one person in my position.

HystericalParoxysm Thu 20-Jun-13 19:52:13

Glad to hear there are a few of us with 2 plus twins! We can all go insane together grin
I am very keen for a csection for these two having had sections before. I hope I have a good case. I would have tried for natural if they were my first though I think.

Franykins Thu 20-Jun-13 20:08:08

Just had a bit of a heart to heart with DP about how life is going to change. We've both said we're worried about space - his house is v small really and we're all gonna be on top of each other but there's nothing we can do about atm. We fell a lot sooner than we thought and then having twins is gonna be hard. I've also said I'm worried about c section and then being on my own with babies. I am so excited about finally being a mummy but also shitting it big time!

We both know deep down it will all be ok and DP has said he doesn't want me to worry about that stuff and just be excited all the time and leave the worrying to him. bless him.

sorry to bring a downer on here and sure I'll pick up soon.

beachesandbuckets Thu 20-Jun-13 20:16:45

ellsio, wow, can't believe you are nearly there. Thank you for your story, I guess the nub of the tale is wait and see. Maybe inducement is a good half way house for me, not natural which I fear may be quite risky given my tendency to give birth quick but better recovery than a c section - will raise this with my consultant. Poor thing having to wait all day at the hospital and getting into the c section mindset, must have been a bit stressful. What did you do with the older kids? Hope it all goes well for you, I had ds1 at the JR in Oxford (I think that is where you are from memory) and my epidural was fab, felt nothing! Let us know how you get on at the weekend.

Franykins, happy birthday!

Hysterical, am pretty sure you will get your c section, everyone I know who has had a c-section with first dc gets one for subsequent twins.

My colleagues threw me a 'leaving party' today, even though I am not leaving work for ages, they thought that they would get it in early in case I go into labour early. Made me feel that this could really happen for me, I have been in denial up to now I think sue to mmc last year. Dare I risk getting slightly excited...

rednellie Thu 20-Jun-13 21:15:40

elisio1 - great news about twin 1 turning, mine did very similar. Just as an extra thought. I had an epidural sited, but no drugs administered. It made all the medics calm down and let me continue in the way I wanted to. In the end the OB did have to do a James Herriot, but I managed without the epi. It was weird, and not to be repeated in a hurry, but it was over in seconds. No way near as bad as some other OBs had made out in the run up to the birth...options options smile

rednellie I think having the epidural placed but then not necessarily used is a really good idea, and one my consultant had mentioned in the run up.

I'd wanted to deliver naturally and be as mobile as possible, so it would have been a good compromise and it would have saved time if eg twin 2 needed turning.

Best laid plans of mice and men and all that though!

HystericalParoxysm Fri 21-Jun-13 14:00:20

When did you all start to show? I have woken up this morning to find a bump has appeared (at 9+5!). Do you think this is babies or pies? grin

rednellie Fri 21-Jun-13 14:48:38

Definitely babies grin. I took a photo wearing the same maternity clothes with DD at 9 months and with the boys at 6 months. I was bigger in the boys picture...

stinking, I know what you mean! I was lucky in that I had an amazing team for our birth, they even obeyed my birth notes to the letter. Including the bit about not offering me any pain relief unless I asked for it. Then I couldn't effing ask for it as I was having too many contractions, then it was too late! grin. Be careful what you wish for etc....

Franykins Sun 23-Jun-13 22:39:42

I was about 11 weeks when DP noticed a bump. I am now rather big! At 17+1 i prob look about 25 if not more blush

We had our private scan today. still didn't get a pic of them together but found out we're having one of each grin and they're about 13cm each. love our babies grin

CrabAppleTree Tue 25-Jun-13 10:17:21

Just popping in to say hello
hope you're all okay
Still getting used to everything
my 12 week scan (at 13 weeks hmm) is on Thursday

HystericalParoxysm Tue 25-Jun-13 11:19:46

Hello! Fed up of being sick here sad and nervously awaiting 12 week scan next week, feels ages away. Frany congratulations on one of each!

Franykins Tue 25-Jun-13 11:44:55

Oh HystericalParoxysm that's no good sad I have been so lucky, no sickness and now all I have is tiredness, and little flutters from bubbas grin The wait for the scans is horrible sad I'm still waiting for the date of our 20 week scan, if it doesn't come this week I will be calling the midwife.

Thank you smile Now to choose names hehe.

We're going for our big shop on Friday - hoping to put an order in smile Feeling so unprepared, only got about 20 weeks left but we have so much to do round the house and having DPs boys every other weekend means we have about 10 weeks really. Decorating and stuff when we have them seems to be a big no no.

twinteresting Sat 27-Jul-13 17:46:11

Hello ladies
tis me crabappletree -
Just wondering how you're all getting on??

hetsto Thu 08-Aug-13 10:56:59

Hello all,

I’m not sure this is the best place to post, but I’m looking for some mums-of-twins or mums-of-twins-to-be for a chat and any experiences.

We had our 20 week scan yesterday and after a lot of scanning around the sonographer told us we’ve got twins!

The babies are both on the small side but, more concerning is that are looking rather different to each other at the moment. They’re sharing one placenta, but are in separate sacks and one of them has less amniotic fluid than the other, so there’s a risk of Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome. We’ve got an appointment with a specialist at King’s tomorrow to investigate further and discuss options. Having said that, the fact that I haven’t had any adverse symptoms so far, and that both of them have reasonably strong heart beats bodes well. stay positive stay positive stay positive

I had my dating scan at 8 weeks and there was no mention of more than one baby at that point. Since then I feel like I’ve been growing at a rate of knots but otherwise haven’t had any particularly unexpected symptoms. Not that I really knew what to expect with my first! There’s a large part of me that is feeling really indignant and wondering how on earth they could miss a second life in there with current ultrasound technology, but I’m trying really hard to focus on the here and now rather than getting uptight about that.

I’m not quite sure how I’m feeling at the moment – simultaneously elated and terrified I think! We were totally unprepared for the shock and had been rather blasé about the whole thing up to now, not really worrying about anything major and thinking about lovely things like whether to find out the gender and names etc. This feels like another level… TWO BABIES?!

Franykins Thu 08-Aug-13 16:47:53

Hello Add message | Report | Message poster twinteresting I'm getting on well smile and can now see bubbas moving grin so exciting! Feel like I haven't got long left, its all going so quickly! 24 weeks on Saturday. How are you?

hetso congrats (just posted on another post you commented on) I can't believe you only found out at your 20 week scan! I wonder how common this is? I can't help with the worry of twin to twin transfusion as mine are no ID, we're having one of each (or so we've been told 3 times)

It will take a while to sink in but its so special grin

I hope your appointment at King's goes well, let us know how you get on please.

Like you I had no unexpected symptoms, was sick a total of 5 times, had sore boobs for about 9 weeks but that has all gone now so other than bump and bubbas moving that's it.

Oh and of course congratulations grin

Franykins Thu 08-Aug-13 16:49:06

Hmmmm so my copy and pasting worked well! hmm blushSorry....................................

But i'm sure you get the gist wink

hetsto Thu 08-Aug-13 16:53:54

Oops, I just replied over there with pretty much the same thing! Sorry! Where shall we go?

hetsto Thu 08-Aug-13 17:02:03

Hi Franykins! Sorry about all the cross-posting!

I know, I can’t quite believe it either – I don’t think it’s very common, but I have found other similar stories. You just would have thought technology had moved on so much it couldn't be possible, right?

Thank you for the congratulations too; it does feel special, just also a bit scary and overwhelming at the moment. I’m happy to be feeling reasonably well though and will of course update after our appointment tomorrow.

It sounds like we’re due around a similar time (I’ll be 40 weeks on 15th December) are you finding getting around ok?

Franykins Thu 08-Aug-13 17:02:21

Stick to this one smile

I'm really not sure what advice I can give other than to enjoy it (once the shock wears off wink) However, I don't have the added worry that ID twins can bring - but like you have said stay positive You will be closely monitored now which a good thing smile flowers

hetsto Fri 09-Aug-13 15:50:22

Thank you Franykins, lovely to hear from someone else pregnant with twins! How are you doing?

Just thought I’d give a bit of an update after a long day at King’s today. I was scanned again first thing this morning and we then spoke to a lovely consultant (all good things people said about the staff at King’s proved completely true by the way!) who confirmed that one of the twins isn’t growing as quickly as the other and it looked like they had TTTS. We were pretty frightened but the consultant explained that we qualified for laser surgery to sever the blood vessels that the twins were sharing, and that we could have it straight away. We knew this was fairly high risk but the alternative was to wait and watch things get progressively worse, so it was a no-brainer really. The staff were all very reassuring; we went for a little walk and then were seen for the surgery later this morning.

It was amazing to be able to watch the consultant working on the babies from the inside; he severed 7 blood vessels from the amniotic sack of the largest twin and then drained some of the fluid from that sack. It was all over pretty quickly and then we just had to wait a few hours before they could scan me again to check whether the babies were ok. They’re still holding on in there with pretty normal heartbeats, so we’ll be going back next week to check their heart beats again and see whether the smaller twin has started to catch up. On a plus note, I’m less tight and uncomfortable now some of the fluid’s been drained!

We’re not out of the woods yet and the twins will continue to be monitored on a weekly or fortnightly basis for the rest of the pregnancy, but it feels like we’ve moved quickly in the right direction. I can’t believe how fast all this has happened; I’m in a total whirlwind of shock and uncertainty, but my OH has been wonderful, as have lots of other family and friends, and it’s lovely to be able to come on here and decompress too.

…We’ve got girls, so I’m off to think about names now. smile

Franykins Sat 10-Aug-13 13:51:50

Oh wow Hetsto what a day! Am so pleased all went as planned, i can't begin to contemplate how you must be feeling. Your little girls are fighters, bless them smile Pleaded keep us updated on how its going and if you want to pm me feel free to. Not sure how much help i can be but will try my best smile

Im doing well thank you. Am 24 weeks today and have been very lucky with everything being straight forward - just getting 'blooming' massive and enjoying the movements but not enjoining the housework

Good luck with choosing names, i think we have ours now smile x

twinteresting Sat 10-Aug-13 15:29:49

Oh my goodness Hetsto - that does sound like a VERY long day. Hope you are okay - please be sure to rest as much as you can.
How fab to know about names too.
We had our 20 week scan yesterday - everything ticking along nicely.
We're not finding out what we're having but atm they seem to be transverse and breech, though our consultant wasn't prepared to discuss positition until 34 weeks.

I was feeling a bit superstitious about it all but allowed myself to buy some vests/babygrows yesterday afterward

Joined Tamba but discovered tat all the relevant AN short courses are booked up (sigh)

Franykins how are you doing?

Anyone seen HystericalParoxysm?

hetsto Mon 12-Aug-13 09:52:50

Thank you twinteresting and Franykins! Lots of rest this weekend and some floating around in the sea at the beach too – they seemed to love that! Aren’t Mondays awful though, ugh!

I got up and ready for work this morning, looked in the mirror and suddenly realised what a fool I was for not suspecting twins – I am HUGE! Noone I know is currently expecting, so I wasn’t really comparing myself to anyone else and I didn’t seem to get that big early on, but I’m totally massive now. People keep looking at me like I’m about to pop and there’s such a long way to go yet!

Franykins Mon 12-Aug-13 14:42:38

twinteresting I joined Tamba too and yes noticed all the AN classes were booked up, I wasn't too worried as my local hospital do twin AN classes. However, they have been cancelled this month (which we were booked onto) due to ill health and she said she will hopefully be back up and running in October! Might be too late for us then, not sure. I spoke with my midwife about it and she said not to worry, if they don't start up in time or I'm getting worried she will do a one on one session with me smile I thought that was so kind of her.

hetsto so pleased you had a relaxing weekend smile my Saturday was full of housework and sorting out, but yesterday I kinda did sod all smile even managed a snooze in the afternoon which was lovely and DP is becoming so affectionate. Not that he wasn't just more so which I'm loving smile I know how you feel about the whole 'massive' thing. I have now put on 2 stone! All bump though no where else. But yes when DP said at 11 weeks I had a bump showing through my fat (I added that not him) I should have guessed it was twins!

Had mw on Friday and all ok, heard their heartbeats grin and only notable thing is my feet have started swelling at 24 weeks (now 24+3) but not enough to worry about.

HystericalParoxysm popped up on a thread I started last week with some kind words (had a, how shall I put this, sisterly issue!) but other than that not seen her.

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