Help! 2 boys and found out am having twins!

(47 Posts)
elisio1 Sat 12-Jan-13 19:47:10

Well, the title says it all really. My husband and I are in a state of shock. We have 2 lovely boys, 5 and 2.5. We tentatively went for no.3 and have discovered we're having twins - most likely b/g combination.

Although we had got our head around the idea of 3 children (just), having four under 5 , and this including twins, was not in our game plan. We feel absolutely overwhelmed and wonder if we'll be able to cope. Will we still be able to have a social life? Will getting out of the house be a complete nightmare? Will anyone want to have us round to their house? Just a few of the worries that crowd in on us. And how will it affect DS1 and DS2 ? I really worry about our attention being stretched too thinly over 4 still-young children.

Having twins first time round or second wouldn't have seemed such a game changer, but the idea of going from 2 to 4 is pretty mind-boggling.

Anyone been in this position? How did it work out? Would be grateful for any advice.

nextphase Sat 12-Jan-13 20:16:07

Not been in your position, but currently know one family with 4 under 6, who are all doing very well (and will still be invited here - DC4 is 6 weeks), and another lot with 3 boys, currently expecting no 4. Think they will have 4 under 5, but we won't invite them round, as they aren't friends, iyswim?

It will be lovely having them all so close in age, and of course you'll be able to get out, have a social life etc if thats what you want to do. Might need to look at a bigger car tho grin

Congratulations!

toomuchpink Sat 12-Jan-13 21:27:21

I'm not quite in your shoes, but I know how you feel. We planned baby number two and got twins. My fears were similar to yours. How will I ever be able to give DD1 the attention I want to? Won't all my children miss out? I absolutely felt shocked and overwhelmed.
I won't lie to you. Looking after two babies at the same time as (in my case) one older one is demanding. The sleep deprivation for the first six months or so was really tough and while most days were ok until about 3pm in the afternoon, those last hours before my husband came home could be a teeth-gritting grind. However, my twins are 16-months now and as long as they are well they are a joy. They are beginning to respond to each other in many charming ways and while DD1 has of course had her frustrations with them, most of the time she loves them being around. She wants to go and get them up in the morning or after their nap etc. With help from my parents, who do not live near-by but visit regularly, I don't feel she missed out.
In the longterm I can see an advantage in having four - no-one will be missed out. Best of luck and look after yourself.

Hi elisio. Congratulations. I think what you are feeling is completely normal. It will take a while to get used to your news!
Yes it will be hard work but it will be amazing. Twins are so special. Yiur older dc will adjust and love their special siblings they can show off! !

There is a mum on here who was in a similar situation I think.... twin2makes4 hopefully she will be along soon. And another mum clareinmodena who got 4 instead of 3! But her dc are older.

It takes time to get your head around having twins, but you will.

Sorry not got any specific advice as my older dc is 2 and dts are 8 months. But I do get out, we do have fun and older dc loves the fact she has TWO brothers!

Good luck and take care

twotimestwo Sun 13-Jan-13 19:19:49

I was in the same position, my boys were 5 and 3 when the twins were born. I was frightened, and it hasn't been easy, but 4 works really well. My family feels balanced. The hardest part was the pregnancy, as I ended up in hospital for 5 weeks and DS2 really struggled with that and it took a while for him to trust me again. Time is stretched, particularly as I work, but the boys love their sisters and we do have a social life. It is life changing though and expensive, new car and no reusing the old pushchair. Congratulations, twins are great.

twin2makes4 Sun 13-Jan-13 19:32:42

hi i was in that position this time last year, took over a year to concieve number 3 to the point we'd sort of gone over the idea got pg and had bleeding at 6 weeks went for my scan alone on 14th december to be told id twins!!! biggest shock ever shock

really struggled with how we would cope with 4 children ours were a little older 3 & 7 both boys but felt completely the same as you, worried how we would fit in our house how i would go to work money everything!!!! my id girls came the day before my eldest birthday ( i pushed very hard to 1.make sure they arrived on the same day and 2. didnt steal his birthday smile )

It has been difficult but they are all worth it and my heart melts when my girls look at their brothers with such wonder and love accept all the help you can and we split the care so i looked after babies and my dh did things with the boys, my girls also have to wait sometimes if im busy bathing the boys doing homework etc......Its totally doable and has become easier dont be hard on yourselfs to start off with and find a routine that works for all of you.

Congratulations it is amazing having twins and my boys now answer most of the millions of questions and comments we get on a daily basis grin

Chottie Sun 13-Jan-13 19:35:03

Congratulations smile

twin2makes4 Sun 13-Jan-13 19:39:20

oh and we still have a social life, hopefully if youve got good family and friends like us you can have time out seperatly with your boys or as a family just takes a bit of planning smile

JustFabulous Sun 13-Jan-13 19:40:12

Twins! How lovely.

ImNotCute Sun 13-Jan-13 19:43:27

Congratulations. I can understand your shock! I only have 2 here so no personal experience. But your story really reminded me of this article I read a couple of years ago and obviously made an impression on me:

Going from 2 to 5

In that article the mum had triplets! I'm sure your situation will be hard work but well worth it. DH is one of 4 kids, I think it's great to have 3 siblings. Good luck.

MumVsKids Sun 13-Jan-13 19:44:28

Congratulations,I would have loved twins smile

twin2makes4 Sun 13-Jan-13 19:46:21

sorry me again one thing i did was stock piled nappies and wipes they lasted months and was one less cost to worry about as you tend not to miss the money now smile

ImNotCute, that article stayed with me too, I've often shaken my head with wander "imagine going from two children to five' but they survived and op, I am sure you and your babies will too!

ImNotCute Sun 13-Jan-13 20:17:27

Ps I hope linking to the article i mentionned is ok,I don't want to scare you. I was kind of thinking as you have 1 less it will be hard work for you but not that bad! I'm sure you'll do great.

oenophilia Sun 13-Jan-13 20:37:45

Our boys were 6 & 4 when the DTs arrived (we'd lost one between whiles). In a way easier to go from 2 to 4 than from 2 to 3. We allocated each boy a baby as "Chief Supervisor" so they wouldn't fight over who got to hold & fuss over. Twins also have a wonderful capacity to keep each other company & stimulate each other when you've got other stuff to do. Only down side was we had to scale up the car. I clearly remember my first comment seeing the scan was "How the * do you get three car seats in the back of a Renault Scenic?" You don't. Oh, and join Freecycle!

Rowan1204 Sun 13-Jan-13 21:54:37

Hi Elisio,

Im not in quite the same position as i only have 1 ds already but i am definitely feeling the same in terms of anxiety.

My partner had spent quite a long time persuading me to try for a second and tbh i was still slightly hesitant, but thought it would be now or never really as my ds is 4 in April and didn't want a gap much bigger than that.
Found out at a dating scan at 6 wks that we have Identical twins on the way!
I am 15 weeks today and i still often just sit and gulp at the thought at how I'll manage with three.
The ladies here and other twin parents have offered lots of reassuring advice and do remind me of what a blessing it will be despite how hard at times. I try to think about their different stages of life and his lovely it will be being a twin.
Sorry Im not a huge help in terms of advice but just want you to know you are no alone in how you feel.
Do feel free to pm me if you'd like a twin buddy smile

toomuchpink Mon 14-Jan-13 14:13:21

For the first time today my twins sat opposite each other holding hands for row-row-row the boat, rocking back and forth. I was as overwhelmed as you Rowan when I found out my family was going from one to three. I would never have imagined there would be moments when they would be so cute together that all the craziness, sleep deprivation and sense of personal inadequacy would fade away - but it does happen! Of course after a couple of versus one of them still wanted to row and the other was fed up and started wandering round the church hall. That's life! But I am beginning to think, while I would never have chosen this family set up in a million years, perhaps I was actually lucky. The path less travelled by having made all the difference, or however that goes....

holidaysdistantmemory Mon 14-Jan-13 14:26:00

Snap. Congregations! Did you find out on Friday? I have 2 dcs, 4 (boy) and 2 (girl), and had a mmc 6 months ago. Went for an early scan on Friday, 8 weeks, as having bad cramps, very anxious about scan and having a panic attack as expecting to see on my 12 week ultrasound what I saw last time with mmc (not pleasent). Midwife asked me if I was on ivf. Errrr, no, why? 'twins in the family?' 'why do you ask?' 'Because there are two of them in there, two strong heartbeats'. WTF!!!!!!! The unit even had a counsellor on hand waiting for me outside the scanning room who was the lovely lady who helped me with the mmc and erpc (fitting it in within 24 hours around my dc's childcare), I had to stagger out and tell her instead it was twins this time...
We are in state of shock, had to really twist my dh's arm to try for a 3rd, he categorically doesn't want any more, he is devastated to say the least. I am vacillating between nervous giggles and depression thinking of finances, lack of any foreign holidays, lack of any new clothes, gym membership, meals out, just the next 20 years of being utterly knackered and skint. Will have to work til I drop, I am the main breadwinner in our house. Probably not helping as my DS is not sleeping well at month, so very tired and obv feel nauseous too.
Will wait to 12 weeks to tell anyone, even parents, after the mmc, have learnt to not get ahead of myself, may even wait longer to ring around friends and family who I don't see on a day to day basis.
Jesus Christ!

holidaysdistantmemory Mon 14-Jan-13 14:32:23

Whoops, not midwife, sonographer, obv. Getting ahead of myself!

Rowan1204 Mon 14-Jan-13 20:16:02

I think another hard thing, or at least something I am also finding quite hard, is that with my ds I had a plain-sailing pg, no problems at all, and had a lovely natural delivery, waterbirth, with only bit of gas and air, and came home the same day with and 8lbs healthy baby!
The high risk element of this twin pregnancy (particuarly as ID twins) is scaring me to death. the thought of potentially having a CS is my worst nightmare, i know may women have them, but for me its petrifying. even just the epidural scares me to death, and the thought of having them before they are fully cooked too.
Thanks toomuchpink for giving us some nice thoughts. That sounds so sweet the Row your boat thing! smile
Congrats holiday on your double bump too. My Dp wanted another but like you, I'm the main breadwinner (and dp does the childcare) and I don't think he braced himself for having another TWO! its crazy - don't think it will sink in for him for quite some time tbh.
on the plus side - my boss has 16 yr old ID girls, so has been extremely supportive which has helped a lot!

holidaysdistantmemory Mon 14-Jan-13 20:32:22

rowan, thank you. A good friend of mine just had identical twins, she had a straightforward pregnancy, a cs, and babies well and home straight away. Its tempting to listen to all the scare stories out there but there are also happy endings. And your dh DID want another, so he has to reap the consequences now, hey!!
I think mine are non-identical as there are two sacs, tho not yet up to speed with the twin lingo? I had an epidural with number 1, it was fantastic, felt nothing and no side effects. Would thoroughly recommend it. I had 2 natural births, so wld be annoying to now have a cs, and scar etc, but I think its a matter of course for twins isn't it?

Rowan1204 Mon 14-Jan-13 20:38:26

Wow that's great you have a friend who also have twins! I have made friends with a friend's older sister on FB who has recently had non Id twin girls, and she has been great - have been bombarding her with Q's!
You're right - haha and I will remind him of that! smile
Yes, Non ID have 2 separate sacs. since doing my research and seeing different scan pics on google etc, its quite an obvious difference between ID and Non ID.
I think they're is a chance of natural birth, more so with Non ID twins apparently. I have scans every 2 weeks with ID twins to check for TTTS, which only occurs in ID twins. I think they scan you every 3-4 weeks with Non ID? not 100% sure though.
I'm accepting the fact that I will most likely have a CS. If not, then bonus! (just double ouch!)

holidaysdistantmemory Mon 14-Jan-13 20:50:40

Thanks Rowan, will have to make friends with Mr Google and look up the whole twin world. I have 4 friends who have had twins in the last year or so, hence me foolishly thinking that there would be not a chance in hell that I would be having them too, twins are not that common are they?! The lesson learned in trying for baby no 3 ("just a little one to tag along, won't be life changing" etc!!!).
The nice lady at the ebu explained that I would be assigned to a consultant, and scanned regularly, and as I have given birth to two 10 pounder dcs, that there is no way they would let me go full term because they wld squash each other. The birth concerns me less (as its prob a cs, so may as well resign myself to it) than what comes after, 4 kids under 5!
Been to the gym tonight, and gutted that I won't be able to do this with 4 kids, there will always be one which is poorly/not sleeping etc. Dh works in the evening.
Nice to let off steam (excuse me) and no-one knows in rl except for traumatised dh who just says "my life is over"...

DigestivesWithCheese Tue 15-Jan-13 13:57:20

Hi Elisio!

I have recently gone from 2 to 4 and I remember the feeling of shock you describe. We'd decided we could just manage number 3 & then we found out there were two at the scan. grin

We now have a DS who is 7, DD who is 22 months & B/G twins who are 15 days old. I don't have time to write much now because the twins and toddler are all having an afternoon nap, so I'm about to have a nap of my own now...., I just wanted to say, it will all be okay smile.

I had an awful birth, can't lift my toddler because of c-section and we are up every 2/3 hours feeding then both - BUT, somehow we are still coping, the older DC's are enjoying the babies & I'm not really as tired as you might expect. The twins already seem to comfort each other, they settle nicely when they are put down together but whimper when one is taken from the cot. I've found them lying in the cot holding hands a few times, with their eyes open just staring at each other. Moments like that are so sweet that they make up for the lack of sleep.

elisio1 Sat 19-Jan-13 20:15:14

Thank you everyone for replying. I do appreciate it. So nice to see that others are in the same boat and managing, even enjoying, the experience.

Holidaysdistantmemory, our situations sound v similar. 2 young kids and wondering how we'll cope, plus devastated husbands! Mine has come round a little, but still really worried about the whole scenario.

I'm still struggling with the whole thing too (and I'm now 15 weeks so have had a bit of time to think about it). I'm sure we'll cope, but worried we'll lose the enjoyment iykwim? My two DSs are so lovely and enjoyable - I thought a third would be too. But I wonder if 4 so close together will tip the balance towards "just getting through". Sorry if this seems unnecessarily negative, but that is my main worry. Anyone else in similar situation worry about this? And, when the twins came, how long did it take you to "enjoy" your family again?

Rowan1204 Sat 19-Jan-13 21:17:30

Hi All,

Elisio, Although I don't have two DS already, I do have similar worries in terms of the enjoyment thing. We have been hugely lucky to have very supportive family etc and it means that we have often had time to ourselves every now and then which has been great but this will be divided by three! But the main worry for me is how am I going to give DS the attention he needs and have that quality time with him?
Do you have supportive family near by who can help with the babies from time to time so that you can have days out or a few hours of dedicated time with your two DS?

Digestives - if you are saying that all will be ok, with your lovely little brood, I do genuinely feel better : ) hope you are enjoying your new little arrivals smile your eldest, perhaps a little helper too at that age?

Holidays -I planned on joining the gym - but perhaps not now either! god knows when we will get back that precious 'me' time, a good while I think, but perhaps once we have routines sorted, it might happen?!

I am actually feeling a bit rubbish the last few days. 16 weeks now and already pretty big, and its already getting uncomfortable (sorry to be negative!) but tired from not being able to sleep - sign of things to come I know.
To the twin mums who have already given birth - did you get quite a lot of growing pains early n the 2nd trimester?
I have a scan on Tuesday though so looking forward to that - hoping they will tell me the flavour! smile

DigestivesWithCheese Sun 20-Jan-13 15:50:40

Hi Rowan,

My twins are three weeks tomorrow and I've already decided I love having four! The nights are still very hard but we've had a few nice times together already, going to the park yesterday & out to watch my eldest play football today.

Once the twins are snuggled down in the double buggy then they sleep well while we go out. They feed every three hrs so I feed first then I know we've got time to go out for a bit and concentrate on the older ones while the twins are sleeping. So I can still take my toddler to the park, to a cafe for a snack, to playgroup... Wherever the double buggy fits really!

When I'm feeding the twins at home my toddler doesn't get much attention but luckily I trained her up during my pregnancy grin When I was very tired at the end,, I used to sit her on the bed beside me, surrounded by cushions & we would watch CBeebies or a Peppa Pig DVD, while she had a snack in a bowl & I had a rest. So now, when I am feeding the twins in the morning, she says "snack, Peppa Pig on" and she sits beside me while I sort them out. It does mean she is eating more crisps/biscuits than I would like but it's still worth it!

I sympathise with how tired & uncomfortable you must be. I struggled so much with my pregnancy and after about 30 weeks I hated every second. The upside is that, compared to the tiredness of the pregnancy, these early weeks have actually been a real relief. Even with recovering from the c-section and sleepless nights, I'm still not as tired as I was while I was pregnant. I know that probably doesn't help now but it really is something to look forward to at the end - good luck!

I

DigestivesWithCheese Sun 20-Jan-13 15:51:33

Hi Rowan,

My twins are three weeks tomorrow and I've already decided I love having four! The nights are still very hard but we've had a few nice times together already, going to the park yesterday & out to watch my eldest play football today.

Once the twins are snuggled down in the double buggy then they sleep well while we go out. They feed every three hrs so I feed first then I know we've got time to go out for a bit and concentrate on the older ones while the twins are sleeping. So I can still take my toddler to the park, to a cafe for a snack, to playgroup... Wherever the double buggy fits really!

When I'm feeding the twins at home my toddler doesn't get much attention but luckily I trained her up during my pregnancy grin When I was very tired at the end,, I used to sit her on the bed beside me, surrounded by cushions & we would watch CBeebies or a Peppa Pig DVD, while she had a snack in a bowl & I had a rest. So now, when I am feeding the twins in the morning, she says "snack, Peppa Pig on" and she sits beside me while I sort them out. It does mean she is eating more crisps/biscuits than I would like but it's still worth it!

I sympathise with how tired & uncomfortable you must be. I struggled so much with my pregnancy and after about 30 weeks I hated every second. The upside is that, compared to the tiredness of the pregnancy, these early weeks have actually been a real relief. Even with recovering from the c-section and sleepless nights, I'm still not as tired as I was while I was pregnant. I know that probably doesn't help now but it really is something to look forward to at the end - good luck!

holidaysdistantmemory Tue 22-Jan-13 11:49:23

Elliso, I have exactly the same concerns, especially having just gone through the baby years and 'come out the other side' and my dc's are now reasonably independent and play together and we do some nice things as a family. I optimistically thought a DC3 would fit in with the family and tag along with the others!

In contrast I am currently lying on the sofa under a blanket feeling rubbish (9 weeks) with Big Barn Farm on repeat on the TV, my poor little DD not being very stimulated. Normally on my days off work we are playdating, toddler groups, out and about, but just tired and can't be ar*ed today! Fear that this will be my girl's existence this time next year.. On the plus side, at least school open and ds back at school today!

dh is now being quite supportive and caring, think he is in denial tho the finances really worry me. have you started looking into cars that four 4 car seats? We will need to trade in our (smallish) car for a bigger old banger.

Told my parents at weekend, and my 'd'dad stormed out and went home! He thinks 'his life is over' as we will call on them to help us out etc. Silly fool! And my dm, who is usually the most optimistic person on the planet, only said 'its going to be tough for you'. Yes, I think I know that.
Felt slightly down that evening, as hadn't been able to be my usual lively person in the snow (a sign of things to come?) and the initial reactions have been so different to my other DC, everyone was over the moon then...

Anyway, better shift from my slothful state, and do something.

Don't get me wrong, I recognise (esp after my Mc) that this is a 'gift' and that at least family christmases will be fun. And there will always someone to visit me in the old persons home when I am ancient, and lots a grandchildren hopefully! Ironically I always wanted twins, just wish they had been dc1 or dc2!

My dh's best friend is a twin. His Dm went back to work 2 weeks after giving birth to stop her going insane. Its always an option I guess...!!!! Ha ha.

holidaysdistantmemory Tue 22-Jan-13 11:59:24

Ps digestives, thank you for the optimistic advice and tips. My friend who has twins simply hands each of them over to the nearest person when visiting people, looks like a good tip, divide and conquer!

I am going to save this thread as a bookmark and dip in occasionally to see how we are all getting on provided I pass 12 weeks. Good luck everyone.

januarysnowdrop Tue 22-Jan-13 12:01:22

Not sure this is a helpful perspective, but I was the youngest child in just such a family (3 brothers, two older, one twin) and I loved being part of a big family quite close in age (not quite as close as yours will be, but I think the closer the better from the point of view of sibling relationships). My Mum said it was really really hard for the first year (she accepted any and every offer of help she was given!), but then it all became much easier after that because me & my twin always had one another to play with. And speaking as a childminder, I often find that the more children I have in the house, the fewer fights tend to break out - they seem to get on better when there's more of a choice of other children to play with.

No personal experience but I have a good friend who had 4 with 18mo to 2 year gaps between each (deliberately!) so at one point 4 under 6. She has never been rich financially but has loved it, even in the early years. The DCs are all late teens/ early 20's now and very close knit.

holidaysdistantmemory Tue 22-Jan-13 17:27:30

Thank you January and Married, its nice to have some virtual kind words. I had lots of cousins close in age and near by when young, and agree that it was really great as a child, always someone to play with, beat up (!), lots of games, camping out in the garden in the summer and parties. I will hold onto this image during my worry times! X

elisio1 Fri 25-Jan-13 20:14:55

Thanks everyone for taking the time to post.

Januarysnowdrop, it's lovely hearing about what it was like to grow up in the particular gender configuration I will (most probably - not 100% sure) have.

Holidaysdistantmemory, sorry to hear about your parents' not-so-helpful reaction. Mine and the ILs, though shocked, have been very supportive, and will help as much as they can , when the time comes (tho' for health and geographical reasons, this won't be a huge amount.) Am already wondering about getting a "Mother's help" for 6 months or so. Is is something you would be able to consider?

Funny that you say you would have liked twins 1st or 2nd time round. I feel exactly the same way! It's the 2-4 jump that seems such a life-changer!

Rowan 1204 - think you are at the same stage as me. I'm 16.5 weeks. Already look huge and feel a bit breathless in the way that I did when 30 weeks with DSs. Am not looking forward to the rest of the pregnancy! I was lucky to have very easy ones with DS1 and 2 - shouldn't have been so complacent! Do you know what you're having genderwise?

Rowan1204 Sat 26-Jan-13 22:31:46

Hi All,

Digestives sorry to hear you had that reaction from your parents. I had a similar kind of thing but with my in-laws, who I am usually very close to, they literally are my 2nd parents. my FIL made a comment (relating to the fact that I work full time despite having my DS) and they both kept going on about how I might as well accept that my career is over. FIL said to me - ' Just get on board with the fact that you are actually going to have to be a mum this time around'! It was actually really hurtful and I don't think it meant him to be, but , honestly!
So I know how it feels for them to sort of take the wind out of sails a bit, or just not really help as such. We need positivity people! Take it as easy as you can these next few weeks and let us know how you get on.

Elisio I am 17 weeks tomorrow so virtually the same! what is your 40 weeks EDD? (of course we all know we wont go that far!) mine is 7th July. but consultant says 36 weeks so Im looking at first week of June (ish! could be earlier I guess hmm )
I am the same - massive already and like you, breathless all the time. still getting the nausea too but not so much these days. I had my last scan on Tues at the fetal med unit and all is well smile they are growing pretty much at the same rate, only a 14% difference which is apparently completely normal and fine.
Did you say you were also having 2 weeks scans?

Oh and yes I found out the sex.....BOYS! grin

Rowan1204 Sat 26-Jan-13 23:19:20

Sorry just realised I meant my first paragraph to be in response to holidays - the sieve brain strikes again!

elisio1 Sun 27-Jan-13 19:25:08

Rowan1204 - we are almost pregnancy "twins" (hollow laugh) as I'm due on 10 July.

Interesting that your consultant said 36 weeks as I have not been told anything re: how much earlier twins usually come. I am only officially under consultant care from 23 weeks here apparently. There was I happily imagining going away on holiday early June. Think I should reschedule! Am quite pleased they're summer babies. My other DSs are Autumn born, and am hoping that the light evenings and (relatively) warm temperatures will make the early months a bit more bearable.

Great re: you having twin boys. I won't make any cliched statements about the gender/twins/groups of boys, as I've heard them all a thousand times and they drive me mad. My two boys are absolutely wonderful; I'm sure your DS is too. I have every hope that my third boy will be as wonderful (the girl too). I'm sure yours will be fantastic too.

Rowan1204 Sun 27-Jan-13 21:04:21

elisio yes we could say we are pregnancy twins haha!
Where are you based? I am in herts where i am seeing a consultant every 4 wks for checks on my health, but they referred me to UCH in London for the fetal medicine specialist. I will see them until 26 weeks, and all being well, i will then be handed back over to my hospital for the rest of my pregnancy. I think it is slightly different with ID twins and Non ID. I am scanned every two weeks due to the risk of twin to twin transfusion, which isn't a risk in non ID twins. I think non ID can go to 38 weeks!
I quite fancied going away for long weekend with dp to Paris or somewhere but my consultant said no way! So we are taking ds away to stay at legoland for his birthday in April ( not that i will be able to go on anything!)
A girl i know has Non ID twins and managed a trip abroad though, but before she got too big and uncomfortable! Perhaps June might be leaving it a tad on the late side, could you go in May?
It is a lovely time of year definitely, it will be nice to be on mat leave and enjoy the babies in the sunshine smile
Have you thought of names for your two yet?!

Rowan1204 Sun 27-Jan-13 21:05:18

elisio yes we could say we are pregnancy twins haha!
Where are you based? I am in herts where i am seeing a consultant every 4 wks for checks on my health, but they referred me to UCH in London for the fetal medicine specialist. I will see them until 26 weeks, and all being well, i will then be handed back over to my hospital for the rest of my pregnancy. I think it is slightly different with ID twins and Non ID. I am scanned every two weeks due to the risk of twin to twin transfusion, which isn't a risk in non ID twins. I think non ID can go to 38 weeks!
I quite fancied going away for long weekend with dp to Paris or somewhere but my consultant said no way! So we are taking ds away to stay at legoland for his birthday in April ( not that i will be able to go on anything!)
A girl i know has Non ID twins and managed a trip abroad though, but before she got too big and uncomfortable! Perhaps June might be leaving it a tad on the late side, could you go in May?
It is a lovely time of year definitely, it will be nice to be on mat leave and enjoy the babies in the sunshine smile
Have you thought of names for your two yet?!

MrsZebra Tue 29-Jan-13 21:49:44

I had four boys under 3! Now they're 5, 4, 4 & 2. It's definitely hard.... The first two years are crazy. But I'm still married, sane, have friends (although fewer than before!) and go abroad on holiday. Lower your standards of everything for the first year and you'll be fine. You cant enjoy them in the same way as a singleton but there are completely different joys that you will experience. And ignore anyone who tells you otherwise. I feel lucky to have my twins. Congratulations! X

flossieflower Tue 29-Jan-13 22:00:14

Have to just clarify- separate sacs DOESN'T always mean non identical twins- a third of identicals have separate sacs and I personally know at least four sets like this (including my own who I had dna tested at age 4). If they split early on they will be totally separate (my two placentas were on opposite sides of the uterus).

Rowan- please don't keep passing on this myth as my friend spent weeks crying that she couldn't tell apart her 'non identical' twins and felt like a terrible mother because of it. Only the zygosity test result stopped her guilt!

Twins are fantastic!

Rowan1204 Wed 30-Jan-13 20:32:35

Sorry i didn't realise i was passing on a 'myth' and by no means did i say anything intentionally to make someone feel a bad mother?! Tbh not quite sure i like the way you just bombarded in with that comment?!
I am actually new to having twins and only go by what the'experts' and 'consultants' who are specialists in this area have informed me.
Can you please give me an example of where i have been passing on a myth?! And what myth exactly?! I think you my have misread my posts?

holidaysdistantmemory Wed 30-Jan-13 21:32:39

Rowan, just disregard the 'myth' comment, am sure it was an unfortunate turn of phrase...

Haven't been on this thread for a week, feel like I may 'jinx' things if I get too involved before my 12 week scan which is in 2 weeks. My symptoms have dropped off massively this week, and I am eating like a horse. Hope this is a good sign. Not sure if I can disguise my bump in my (straining) work suit for much longer. Had a team planning day today, felt a bit of a fraud participating when I am about to drop a bombshell soon...

I have a holiday booked the last week in July which I am desperate to go on, only in this country. But I will be 36 weeks then, and wonder whether this may be pushing it a bit. If it was just one baby, wouldn't really care, but twins... Esp if you get induced at 37 (is this right?)

Someone mentioned the home help. Found quite a lot of practical tips on here on how to cope, some colleges also provide students studying childcare to help out, will look at that. Being on maternity leave will be skint, plus probable new car, so will have to be inventive and ask for all help whereever I can get it!

holidaysdistantmemory Wed 30-Jan-13 22:08:54

Rowan - sorry meant to say, glad your scan went well and your boys(!) are growing well. And yes, I have had lots of growing pains and cramps, much more than with previous two single pregnancies.

Also, I have no friggin idea about twins, there were 2 sacs, 2 babies, no-one mentioned the placenta so have no clue whether identical or not! All my baby books are in the loft with my maternity clothes. No doubt someone will enlighten me at some point over the next 30 weeks! We are all on a learning curve, certainly no expert here...

As to coping with a toddler plus twins, I never thought I would cope with one toddler and one newborn, and I did, I was at a toddler group 2 days after giving birth as wanted to get out of the house! And DC1 still got all of the attention (and still does!). Its a thousand times better having the babies out than being pregnant and lumping them around in your tummy, when born you can hand them over to others, stick them on a mat or baby seat when older, and be able to lift the toddler again!

CakeForBreakfast Mon 11-Feb-13 15:16:07

Just like you OP (and so many others it seems), we tentatively ttc for baby no.3 and ended up with twins! I now have 4 kids aged 5 and under and let me tell you, Its bloody marvellous.

Twins. You will enjoy it. Your twins will adore having older brothers for their entertainment, your older boys will love being such special big brothers.

My ID twin girls (now aged 16months) were born 6 weeks early after a pregnancy blighted with the dreaded twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. They were about 4lbs once I got them home but with hindsight, the 'hard bit' of feeding them up was a blink in the eye compared to the rest of it.

Seriously, the fun and cute level in this house raises the roof. I wish everyone could be as lucky as us. Oh, I might not mention how fast a twin pair can decimate a room, and you might want to invest in a washable mat (big one) or under the high chairs and... well, I'll just leave it there!

elisio1 Fri 15-Feb-13 19:27:27

Thank you CakeFor Breakfast - what a lovely, positive email.

Pregnancy is just a long time to think and worry about everything, and we are still feeling very stressed by the prospect of 4 under 5. So it's always lovely to hear from people in our position who think it's so brilliant!
In a way , I wish that the twins would arrive tomorrow (except I don't mean that literally of course, am only 19 weeks) because then I could stop worrying and just get on with things.
It seems so many people react in the same way when they find out they're having twins: shock, disbelief, anxiety, stress - but so many seem to say that, once the twins arrive, things get easier. Obviously the first few years are crazy, but at least they're the new normality and people have to stop brooding and embrace the craziness!

JETS Wed 20-Feb-13 18:06:43

had the unplanned extra twin capsule shock to my toddler. Same concerns as all but can honestly say that twins are fantastic, fabulous amazing - for stuff for the husbands to look forward to - eurocamp will be your friend with this combination! - it can even be quite luxurious (honest!) - we hadnt banked on buying the double buggy etc but you will find tamba & the like a life line - accept all the charity (help and clothes!) - mine now 17 & 13/13 - even though my husband had to drink cooking sherry on the day we found out (only alcohol in the house) - we can honestly say it has been wonderful.

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